Episode Description
Welcome back to another episode of Pint-Sized Logic! Today, we are asking the hard-hitting questions: if animals could actually talk, explain themselves, and argue back, would we still feel the same way about them? More importantly, if they could speak their minds, which animal would be the biggest asshole?
Join us as we ruin your childhood perceptions of the animal kingdom. We debate whether swans are posh and regal like Charles and Camilla or absolute thugs that act like Vinnie Jones. We also take down seagulls, the terrifying "airborne muggers" and white van men of the skies.
Along the way, we uncover some truly shocking truths:
- Despite their cute reputation, penguins are actually horrible creatures that will happily kidnap chicks.
- Rats are surprisingly empathetic and will consistently choose to save a trapped friend over eating highly coveted chocolate.
- Having an inanimate Paddington Bear is logically much cheaper and easier than owning a real pet.
- Dogs can be utterly revolting, especially when they eat cat poo out of the litter tray and vomit it back up on the bedroom floor.
Ultimately, we realize that by anthropomorphizing animals, we are just projecting our own human flaws. The real conclusion? We are the biggest assholes of all because we can already talk.
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