Tell the internet that your wife's bad day wrecks your bad day, and some 22-year-old with a ring light will diagnose you in 30 seconds. Codependent. Case closed.

This concept creep has subtly tried to rewrite what marriage is supposed to feel like. A husband who is affected by his wife's sadness gets treated like a man with a disorder instead of a man keeping his vows.

Fidelity becomes pathology. Monogamy becomes childhood trauma in disguise. 

Ephesians 5 tells a different story. A man leaves his father and mother and becomes one flesh with his wife, loving her as he loves his own body. Her pain becoming his pain isn't dysfunction. It's the design working exactly as intended. 

More importantly, it's a window in to the heart of the creator.

Real codependence exists. There is a point where care stops serving the marriage and starts feeding something else. What is that point and where does it sit? Knowing changes how you read your own marriage, and how much weight you give the next stranger who wants to diagnose it.

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