No.

Howdy, y'all.

Welcome to another episode of Contagious Smiles Unstoppable with your sexy host.

Not me, obviously, but Victoria.

Author and writer of multiple books.

Y'all check them out.

There's a lot of them on Amazon.

I think she's up to like 44, 45 books now.

They're not all published.

They're not all published, but at least I mean they're not all published on Amazon.

True, proud of my wife.

Because she is amazing, y'all.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

So this time, you know, let's just get to it.

I am 72 hours post op from my back surgery.

Holy shnikes.

Yeah, so forgive us for not producing a show, what, last week?

Yeah.

Well, I've had an infection from the surgery that I had December 3rd.

Yeah, let's talk about that.

Okay, let's talk about that.

Shall we?

Sure.

So can I just start out by saying advocate for yourself?

Because I heard something that really got to me that it's like, you know, we say I would die for you.

Like I say that to Faith all the time.

I would die for you.

But what about I will live for you?

Right?

I I will say the Joker said that off Batman.

I've never seen it, so I don't know.

No, that was Harley Quinn.

I don't know.

I haven't seen it.

But no, the the premise of it is so strong because like there's nothing I wouldn't do to continue for those that I love.

And one of the things that people take for granted and don't think about is read your medical records, like read your medical charts.

It's so important to do that.

There's just so much that is stated in those reports that just make you cross-eyed in so many ways.

Are you saying they're erroneous?

They are.

I mean, there's a lot of times things are written in there.

We go to a doctor with we go to many doctors.

With the hope and understanding of correction for something that needs to be fixed.

Like I have said so many times, you don't have surgery for something that's not broken.

And I'm not talking about cosmetic.

That's not on the table right now.

Like we're not talking about that.

Even though after as many as many as I've had, I would like a free, you know, cosmetic thing.

I'm just saying, one would be nice out of all of them.

You don't need anything, you're beautiful.

Excuse me.

Anyway, so we go in for this surgery.

And when I come out, I am one of the most in tune with my body people I've ever met.

With all the families I've helped and everything else, I am very much in tune to things because I I have never taken a pain medication, even after surgery, nothing, because I always have to take care of my family.

And before, for years and years and years and years, it was always just faith and I.

So I never ever took anything.

Well, I was like, something is very wrong.

And when I went to my first post-op appointment, our whole family was in tow.

So it was my daughter, my husband, and my father-in-law, and my surgeon scared the ever-loving bejeebies.

Is that a good word?

Out of me by saying, What have you eaten?

You might be going to the OR.

What?

What?

What are you talking about?

Like, what?

And it's very scary to hear that.

Anyone hears that is scared.

So they're like, you're going down for labs, you're going down for or you know, imaging.

Um, and you know, and I have so much metal in me, and I don't want to keep getting all this radiation.

And I'm one of these people that's like, I don't want all those chemicals in my body, you know, to each their own, but I don't.

I have diligently been very cautious on what I put in my body because I want to make sure that my organs stay as healthy as possible in case, God forbid, the day comes that faith may need my kidney.

So I go down there and I have this infection now from my surgery.

And it's something so simple.

Like when you go in for surgery, they have a timeout prior to in the pre-op room where they go through your name, your date of birth, blah, blah, blah, what are you having done?

Yada yada yada.

Well, then normally at that point in time, they administer something called versette, which makes you forget that it's it's almost like a medical amnesia kind of thing where you don't recall going into the OR, you don't recall seeing the instruments and being transferred to another table and strapped down and wired up and you know put to sleep and all yada yada.

So when you go into the OR, I've never had versette.

So I go into the OR for this, and I'm this person because I am mostly deaf, where I ask everybody to speak up, and we go over all of my allergies, and I repeat them, especially tape.

And so I made sure that was done.

And I came out with tape in more than one way that caused me to have a horrific infection.

So the surgery had that I just had done had to basically open me up and clean me out and wash all of this out and remove some of my hardware.

And I mean it was just horrifying, it was not necessary to say the least.

It was definitely an unnecessary surgery.

And now I'm all taped again and I'm tired of talking about this.

So can we plan change the subject?

Because tomorrow I'll go in for my first post-op and I'm looking forward to it as much as I'm looking forward to like, you know, stepping on a nail.

Honestly, I'm just not looking forward to it at all because there's protocols and things don't get done, and people should be held accountable for their actions.

I mean, you know, like I I've helped amazing families and children, you know, I've worked with some of the most amazing women who have this strength that nobody could ever understand.

And you just remember certain things about people.

Like one of the things everybody knows about me is I always say, Hey, how's your family?

How are the kids?

How are this?

Right?

I'm like clockwork, and my husband will tell you every time.

Whenever we go somewhere, it's like, hey, people will come up to me.

Hey, Victoria, how are you?

And and I'm always like, Hey, how's the family?

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So the reason I'm saying that is because this surgeon has done dozens of procedures and surgeries on me.

And the one thing you would know after doing that money is I have an allergy to tape, right?

You would think that's pretty big deal.

And you would think that, and then there's protocols, and then they weren't followed.

So that was kind of a hard thing.

And it's just the simplicity of like I'm looking around, and I know that 99.9% of the patients that come back to the OR are asleep prior to entry.

And I'm looking around and I make sure that everybody's wearing gloves and masks, and their scrubs, and their gowns, and their boots on their shoes, but then there's someone who doesn't have boots on their shoes.

And when I say the boots, I'm talking about like the lunch lady hats for your shoes, the little booties, right?

That are supposed to cover and protect your shoes.

And you have to wait in between surgeries for them to turn the room over to make it sterile.

It has to be a sterile environment, right?

They're supposed to change gloves in the middle of certain parts of surgery to keep everything as sterile as possible.

But then you have someone who doesn't put boots on their shoes and they wear these shoes to the parking lot and to the clinic and to the office and to home and everywhere in between.

And when you walk, you're kicking up debris from the bottom of your shoes.

That's all I'm gonna say about this right now.

So I'm gonna let my husband say something because this is like this is just a lot.

Alexa wants to make sure we take the carpet out.

Sorry about that, y'all.

So out in the field, you know, as medical responding officers, we only have certain PPE equipment available to us.

But like my wife said, she was scheduled that day for surgery.

They had to prep the room, they had the equipment, they had the the personnel there to take care of it, right?

Oh, yeah.

I even for the first time in my entire life, and I I don't want to say names, never in my 150 plus surgeries have I ever had the actual anesthesiologist, not the fellow, you know, or the resident.

I've never had the actual anesthesiologist place my lines.

I mean, they knew that they had like my team, my surgeon knew that this had gone wrong because when I got back there, he wasn't even supposed to be operating that day.

He was brought in just to do this.

He was standing at the door before I even was taken into the room to change and prep.

And then right.

What doctor waits on the patient?

Right.

And then there were so many people who kept coming in.

We're ready to take you back, we're ready to take you back.

And I'm like, I don't even have an IV yet, right?

Like, I don't have an IV, like they were ready to go, yeah, ready to go.

And I'm like, I really think I need to make sure that I have my IV in first.

So, with that being said, sorry, I had to add that in, but go ahead.

So she received an infection, y'all.

Not because she didn't take care of the the wound, it's it's been sealed up, it's been covered up since the surgery, right?

She received the infection during surgery.

Y'all understand this, right?

Because the this mediocre doctor, who a lot of them have godlike complexions, you know, they they think they're there's shit, right?

And nothing can touch them.

So they they can do whatever the hell they want by wearing your dirty household common everyday boots to work.

No booties around there.

But change into your you know, clogs or the other practitioner does.

Whatever.

I mean, a lot of them wear those clogs or uh, you know, those booty slip-ons or something.

They all wear them, but if you're wearing like clogs and they wear the the boot slip things on top, or they wear sneakers and they put the things on top.

But you're bringing everything and and this being your only patient for the day.

I don't care if you have 15 people don't come right from home to work, sick, sick, and advice that you have passed out twice before during a search right that made me feel not so good.

No, it would it's pretty bad when the patient, my wife, asked the doctor, Are you okay to operate on me?

Oh, I'm getting over my sickness.

I'm on the downhill slope.

Yeah.

Okay, is that a warning flag?

Yes.

Did we have an option?

No.

This item, this device had to come out of my wife because it was causing her excruciating pain.

Like I was literally unable to bend my neck, turn my neck, push my head back, down, forward, side to side.

I mean, I couldn't do it at all.

I mean sleep was out of the question for days.

And I actually went over this surgeon's head to his boss and boss's boss, and they jumped all over everything and oversaw everything, which made my surgeon not happy.

Also, he did not want me to comply with their orders and wishes, which of course I did.

I did what they said, but they kept saying this should have been done weeks before.

But I had developed a fever at one point, and I did my antibiotics, I did my steroids, I did all that, and nothing was making me feel better.

And I kept saying, Why aren't we culturing this?

Why aren't we doing this?

Why aren't we doing that?

And the higher-ups kept saying, this has got to go now.

And I had even asked the higher-ups to do it, but this was not something that they did particularly anymore.

And so they were not comfortable going in and doing this kind of surgery with it not being in their wheelhouse of what they did.

But I will you do a huge shout out because this person that I hold in the highest of regards, literally, when all this was said and done, came in after the surgery when I was post-op to visit me on their day, like when they weren't supposed to even be there, and came in to check on me and talk to me to make sure, you know, how I was doing.

And that meant huge volumes to me because they purposely went way out of their way.

And it wasn't a CYA for this person.

This is a great, big-hearted person who did it out of the goodness of their heart and to ask questions and how am I doing?

And you know, how am I feeling and hope that this gets it on the right track and they're overseeing it?

And to find out that this person even had somebody in the OR on the down low representing that person in the in the surgery, what it just gave me extra protection, and that's why I felt I could go ahead and do it.

Because I honestly, like I had called my surgeon numerous times and was like, I'm coming in today and I wanted I need this done today.

Oh, I can't see you, I don't have time, blah, blah, blah.

I knew that I was, you know, at a very scary point because I was told that the infection could spread into my neck and it could continue up to my brain.

And at that point, when my neck was like non-mobile at all at all, it was incredibly scary.

Incredibly scary.

So let me ask you listeners out there, what would you do?

Would you continue on with the same surgeon to have them correct the mistake, the error?

Would you even though they're watched under a fine-tooth comb at this very moment?

Would you seek a different doctor?

Which would have set me back and could have put me in a very compromising.

Would you seek legal?

So hop on over to a contagious smile.com under contact us, drop me an email.

Also, you know, you think about like just the things you need to go back and read, you know, advocate for yourself, read your medical records because you'd be surprised what the records, you know, go back in.

And sometimes they put a stuff in there that has absolutely no reflection and is not true at all.

I mean, at all, and doesn't even coincide with what was stated or transpired during your appointment.

If you don't have a witness there with you, record it.

I mean, you know, you have the right to record the physics.

I mean, I have doctor's notes where it said that he was the only one that saw me, which was not true because there were times when this had him bringing in two other people at a time, and it he made his notes clear that this was not he had seen me by himself, and that was a load of crap.

But you know, you have the right to advocate for yourself and your own care.

You can record your appointment, you don't have to tell them because you hit the record button.

You know, everybody has their phone with them at all times.

You can just sit your phone down if you want to do that.

You know, do I record every doctor and every visit?

No, not unless I feel like there's a reason and just cause, then I do.

But when they came back and told me that, you know, we're not sure what's growing, but we're gonna put you on an exceptionally strong antibiotic again, and then calls me up and says, Oh, I think we're gonna change it to this, you can stop taking that, and then two days later messages me and says, You could stop taking the that other one.

Well, you told me that 48 hours ago, right?

And then the the medication you put me on is like the last line of defense, and it even says so.

It it clearly states I mean, everything you could get is wrong with this antibiotic.

I never even heard of it, and then to turn around and all the things that it could do and cause it was horrible from taking it.

Ugh.

It's like drinking nuclear waste.

Excuse me, but it's awful, it's awful.

So my my wife has become somewhat of a medical guru because of the extensive surgeries and medical procedures that she's gone through the last 20 years.

20 plus years, yeah.

Plus with faith.

Yeah.

So she peruses her doctor's notes, her medical charts, and and goes line by line, word by word, and dissects everything.

If she doesn't know something, she's never heard of this drug, she she doesn't know what this word means.

There's not many of them I don't anymore.

She'll study it and you know, compare it to you know what's been going on in the past, you know, what's going on now, and say, hey, this doesn't go with this or whatever.

Well, I don't just Google it.

Let me just tell everybody now.

Don't just Google it or AI, I don't like I I don't like AI.

So I mean, I use AI to make imaging, but I don't like it for wording.

But I don't like, for instance, when I didn't know this antibiotic, I actually went to the Mayo Clinic and then Googled, not Google, but I looked up Mayo Clinic and then I looked under prescriptions and went that way because the mayo clinic is like the creme de la creme, and you look under it that way.

And then I went to the pharmaceutical company itself that produced that line of antibiotics, and then I read their indications and warnings and all that as well.

And I don't just Google it because I just don't.

I mean, I I go a step further and then I go into like Mayo Clinic and I put in medications that I've had.

Like I was on one strong antibiotic, and then they're like, Oh, go ahead and start this one.

And you turn around and you look, and I look for, you know, like prescription, you know, is it is it a toxic chemical connection with the two if you mix them?

Because it's not out of your system yet when you start the new one.

So I do go and and seriously investigate any and all.

Do we have a toxic chemical?

I have a dog that just absolutely farted out a green flagellated over there cloud here.

Stucco.

Oh, you want to just say hi, my friend?

Holy crap!

Speaking of stucco, y'all, as you hop on over to contagious flood.com, we do have an academy up there.

Search under our academy.

Yeah, there's a lot of free classes in there.

Say hi, and you'll see Stucco Squad in there, and that's for all of our cute kids, and it's amazing and wonderful.

And stucco's our service dog.

Stucco is my service dog.

Let me get it right.

And he's my beautiful red golden retriever who is just oh my god, you know, so empathetic.

He is the sweetest thing.

And when I came home from my back surgery, he it's like they smell the you know, medication and all.

No, and he never comes near my back, right?

But he kisses the nine places they tried to IV me or whatever when ended up being, and he just lays ever so gently with me, and so does Rusty, who is Faith's service dog.

And they're just the sweetest, most loving thing.

And what I love is like we go upstairs, Stucco goes first, and Rusty goes behind me every time.

And it's like, I got you, mama.

And they just lay with you and snuggle with you and they kick me out of the bed.

They do.

That's great.

My husband will come out of nowhere.

And try to like even put his hand under the pillow, and Stecko will find it, and Stecka will take his paw and shove him away.

That's so awesome.

It's not funny.

No.

It's hilarious.

It's hilarious.

I did have a couple people ask, you know, because Abby was on, and Abby did a podcast with me, and what some of the pranks were that have been done.

And while my husband pranked the girls numerous times, which he did, the girls went on Amazon and ordered like extreme, extreme wax strips.

Like the I am still suffering.

And while resting, they went in there and put it and it's even better that they he's tall and and like a wider width of a man.

And they're 280 pounds.

And like 6'3.

So he goes in and they put the strips on the shoulder area, which my husband is burly and on that area.

I'm not in the nude, y'all.

I was saying the dumpster.

But they left a huge spot in between.

I had wings.

They gave him wings.

And not only did they put it on there, they put one each, like on either side.

Then they decided to like rat-a-tat-tat to like push it down to make sure it was down to the roots.

If you can, and then they just okay, it says to go against the hair, and so they just made sure to make it as miserable as well.

It was not pleasant.

How do you think women feel when they do like a Brazilian wax or whatever?

And some people do their butt.

I I don't wax.

I I take care of myself without waxing because that's adhesive.

But I mean, some people even do their butt.

That's crazy.

I mean, they do.

I mean, to each their own, you know.

I watch the guys on TikTok do their ear.

So obsessed with TikTok.

I hate it.

Oh my god, I couldn't imagine your nose.

Friend who waxes her nose, her nose hair.

Oh my gosh.

You have nose hairs for a reason.

Okay, you have ear hair for a reason.

Well, you do.

I don't have air hair in my ears, but like, yeah.

Well, okay, but still, and they had way too much fun.

And then my husband decided to paint or take a sharpie marker and put a mustache and beard on it.

I took grease.

Uh what?

I thought it was Sharpie marker.

Graphite Grease.

Michael!

Yeah.

Wow.

Gave her a Hitler mustache and a beard.

Right before she goes to the airport.

But then you're the one who got stopped at security.

I need to put that on FB.

But that you got stopped at security.

Yeah, because of my boots that I have booties on.

Oh.

So I can I come in today and and learn, learnt.

Learnt that my wife has written yet another book.

Oh, brother.

Here we go.

Another book.

Like I said, I don't know if it's 44 or 45th.

I can't keep track of them.

But I am dang proud of my little red ed.

And it's it's revolving around narcissism.

It is.

Okay.

I think it's a thousand and one questions.

For Christmas, we'd all gotten this kind of goes up to Gotten.

We'd all received these books, 3,001 would you rather, right?

Right.

And I love the concept.

You know, I wish my grandparents had something like that that they had done because I would have treasured it forever.

We do this often, uh, like uh thousand and one things you don't know about me or you should know about me, or telling me about me.

Or tell me your story, yeah, kind of thing.

So I was like, you know what?

What a way to do that, but doing it in the reflection of this isn't your fault.

They manipulated you, they brainwashed you, they triggered you, they did all these things, they they became this manipulative, narcissistic individual who knew exactly how to placate you, and that's not your fault.

So let's learn how they did it, why they did it, and build up from there and correct it and help you see the red flags.

So instead of it, would you rather?

They're very detailed questions that really make you think it's a very gentle way to do this.

It's from me as a survivor of narcissistic abuse to you, the reader who will go through this.

And it really, the way I did it, I made sure that everybody who reads it first, they say, Holy crap, she gets it, she's been there, right?

She knows she has gone through this, she understands.

It's not somebody who is just writing a book to make a paycheck because that's not what I do.

Then I want them to look at it and go, Wow, I've never thought of it that way.

I've never thought about how they manipulated me in this way, X, Y, Z.

It puts a lot of reflection in areas that you don't think about and kind of gives you awareness of what not to see any or what not to see or what to see, how to have healthy relationships with yourself.

It even you know gives you pause and you know helps you in the reflection of doing better for yourself and seeing the light within you.

It's the the questions are amazing.

I mean, they're really well good self-help therapy book, right?

And it's one you do at your own pace.

They're amazing.

I want to build a workshop.

My husband's gonna say, of course you do.

I want to build a workshop to go coincide with it at the academy so that people could kind of do them together if they want.

Of course you do, and all the proceeds from the book will go to the academy so that we can help which will probably be published get out by a couple weeks, get out and help people who can't afford it.

But my husband thought it was amazing because my husband this morning decided to take down the road of laziness.

I did.

Today was Sunday and it was my day off.

Oh my god, whatever.

He slept late, then he got up back up.

It was Saturday night, movie night with our daughter.

So we if you're gonna use that as an excuse, then let's come back to all the rest of the nights.

Now let's keep going forward.

That's what I thought.

So he overslept.

Oh my god, he overslept, he gets up, he's playing his tablet, which he doesn't constitute as a video game, even though he is playing video games on his tablet.

And then he goes back to bed.

I end up, I'm working during this period of time.

He wakes up grumpy because somebody called his phone.

And by that time he comes in, he goes, What are you doing?

I said, I'm finishing.

He goes, What are you finishing?

And I said, I just wrote a book.

And he goes, When did you start?

I said, two hours ago.

And he was like, What?

I was like, my one hand is quite tired.

So I have proud of this woman.

I have this thing where I have to make sure that my family has everything they need all the time.

And I don't mean like, we're not talking like, you know, Ralph Loren and Gocha Cabana, whatever, Dolce and Cabana.

I'm talking about like he, you know, they have Dulce Delitze.

Okay.

I'm talking about like they have unsweet tea, they have sweet tea, they have their coffee, they have, you know, whatever they need, they don't run out of it here.

And so our dogs have found a way that they try to get into a trash can.

So I was like, I'm gonna get a trash can that has a lid on it, so this doesn't happen anymore.

And my father-in-law needed a few things.

So I said, Great, I'm gonna run out to the store and I'll be right back.

So I go and do that, and little did I know, the minute I left, my husband went back to the inside of his eyelids and took yet another nap.

And he slept for a good two and a half, almost three hours.

I'm glad you're proud of me about sleeping habits.

I'm jealous because that's more than I get in a night.

I I'm up like five, six times a night constantly.

I pee like I'm 90.

I get up and go to the bathroom like I'm 90 years old.

I don't even drink any of my tea or water or anything like hours before bed, hoping I don't get up to pee.

But I do.

And because I'm so wrapped in my back, I can't lay on one side, I can't lay on my back, I can't lay on my chest.

And if I roll over or move just a centimeter, it's like I'm up, you know.

Sucks, it sucks.

So, yeah, so I go and and do that, and it's just been like non-stop.

I'm trying to get my house cleaned.

I've got so much to do.

I'm so behind the eight ball.

And here I am, supposed to be taking it easy, and I don't know the terminology of that.

Like, you know, I don't one thing I cannot wait for is my baths.

I live, and I know some women understand this.

I take a shower every morning.

Okay.

This is probably TMI.

I take a shower every morning, but at night, at the end of the day, I want that 10 or 15 minute decompression where my phone, which how many times a day does my phone go off?

A lot.

It's it's ridiculous.

Text messages.

How many emails do I get a day?

10, 12,000.

And then text message, emails, requests, you know, all these other things.

The people I'm helping and counseling and talking with and things like that, it's nonstop.

So just a 10 or 15 minutes of decompression where I'm in there.

I used to take the phone and would listen to like Kenny G, Michael Bublé, you know, something.

But then my phone would be like, you know, I just haven't met bing, you yeah, bing, you know.

So I was like, Yeah, I can't do that anymore.

But I haven't been able to enjoy those baths because of my back.

So December 3rd was my surgery, and it was not, it was almost a full month before the surgeon says, Okay, you can sit in the water and take a bath.

And I'm like, out, gone, an hour.

I'm sitting in that bad boy for an hour, right?

And I bathe in antibacterial dial soap still.

And then I come back and they're like, All right, you got surgery in two days, no more baths.

You got to go back to showering.

And I'm like, I just want a bath.

Like, I'm not asking for furs and diamonds and and Cartier and Tiffany.

I want a bath.

I want a bath, and I can't until I'm cleared.

It's the little things that mean the most to me.

And yeah, not happening.

So so much fun.

And it is kind of embarrassing because when you go to the hospital, can I just say, when I go into the hospital, you know, you don't get to look your best.

I I look like a ragamuffin, and you know, no makeup, no nothing.

I look raunchy, and always people walk up and recognize me and know me.

And that's great.

I have no problem with it.

Like, I'm not one of those people that are like, oh, let me be.

I'm here for surgery.

My husband will tell you, I'll carry on a conversation with you.

I will give you my number and say, if I can help you in any way, I've done this so many times.

The the one on December 3rd, my husband will tell you they were getting ready to take me back.

And what happened?

The phone rang, and what happened?

Who remember?

One of the people that I help called me right before they were taking me back, and I answered the phone uh for my surgery on the third.

And they were standing there, and I'm like, y'all have to wait a minute.

And she's like, You're going back for surgery now.

And I'm like, Yeah, they're standing here in the room.

Because if you trust me to help you, then I want to be there to help you every way that I possibly can, and that's just who I am.

I have that old school mentality to say the least, to say the least.

I think I was born in the wrong generation.

Really.

But I have to, on a side note, I have to tell you, my husband and daughter spoke up right before I went back for the surgery.

And it just gave me like it was so like first, Faith is wearing a shirt that says, if my face doesn't say it, my mouth surely will.

And my husband is literally like, well, let's hope you don't screw up again.

Let's hope you don't screw up this time.

And Michael's really become a very I'm gonna keep my mouth shut, let my wife handle it kind of person.

You have sorry, but and he he leaves it to me.

I like to see you in that and oh yeah, y'all like it, ringside seats, y'all love it, but I was it it made me feel so much more loved and appreciated for this like the simplicity of just those few words that y'all both said because it is tiring.

Like, I'll advocate to the end of time for anyone else, but it's nice to have someone advocate for you, you know.

It's nice to have someone say, That's my wife, and I'm sick and tired of this.

That's my mom, you know.

And Faith is like, if you hurt her, I'm coming after you, you know, and she'll be like, That's not a threat, that's a promise.

That is, you know, some people might think that's whatever, but that's our family, right?

And that that is it just means so much to have that, you know.

It's like when dad's been in the hospital and you know, I'll stand there and I'll watch the machine.

I'm not going anywhere.

And he'll be like, Will you take a seat?

And I just look at him.

I'm gonna watch the machine.

And if anything starts to deset, even in the smallest, I'm going to get help.

I don't care about opening the door, I don't care about yelling, I'll go get somebody and bring them in the room.

That's just that's what you do when you love someone.

That's how you show love.

You don't anybody can go out and you know, get materialistic things.

You show love by being present in the moment.

You show love by being right there every step of the way, even for the smallest things.

That to me is how you show love.

That is that unconditional love that can't be bought, it can't be you know, pushed, you can't manufacture that.

It is the legitimacy of the realness of someone who truly cares for you.

What no, you you said it just right.

So we got in the mail today if you read Podcaster's magazine, that's right, which I don't have in here.

We have they did a whole page on us.

That's a magazine article under her belt.

Ours.

I don't know if that makes 13.

Oh no, this is like 25 or 26.

25th, something like that.

Podcasters magazine did an article on us for a contagious small unstoppable podcast, and it shows that the listening score showed us in the global top one percent.

Woo woo, and it shows stucco, which is more important than any.

Yeah, it's right there.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh stucco.

And then in the magazine Becoming an Unstoppable Woman, I write for different magazines now.

And they actually did a centerfold, easy guys, if you will, for centerfold woman, both Narc Nark, Who's There and Who Kicked First, and then two books you can get on Amazon.

And then I wrote an article called She Took My Hand in the Operating Room, and I've never forgotten it.

And this happens to be about a wonderful doctor that I love.

That was freaking awesome.

And I wrote that as well.

I'm gonna deflect for one second and watch my husband's reaction, and I'm sure y'all are gonna enjoy it.

Let me give that back to you now.

Thank you, Bob.

Oh, so I've dropped it.

We uh get we were given some gifts, and part of it has another section to it.

And my husband's a little jealous of mine gift that was given to me.

And uh part of the section I removed and I just returned it to him, and he's a little jealous.

I love your gift.

I don't know why you're so jealous of my gift.

I mean, we didn't give them to each other, so I don't know why you're so jealous of mine.

I mean, I don't understand.

You're just so adorable.

It was bestowed upon us by our father.

Yeah, you're just so cute.

And I say our father because he claims me more than him.

My dad is more of a father than my wife's biological piece of shit.

Why don't you tell me how you really feel?

Go read Dark Nark.

You didn't write that though.

I know, but I helped edit it.

You didn't edit it, you read it.

Okay, all right, here we go.

Ready, ready, ready?

Are you ready?

You ready?

How many of my books have you read?

One.

One I read one Faith Cure Solomon.

I said, How many books of mine have you read?

Which was written about me.

How many books have you read?

And her book is called What?

How many books have you read?

I'm sorry, yeah, she wrote that one for you, but Phoenix Whispers is about me when she was in her medically induced coma where I was singing over her and crying, and she remembers that even in the coma, and that tattoo she got in honor of me.

It's pretty badass, I'm just saying.

So the book's called I Am Kidding, Dad's Girl, and Dang Proud of It, which is also on Amazon.

Okay, great.

But how many of my books have you written?

How many have you read?

Written?

How many have you read?

I've read one several pages out of the books.

No, one edit.

Oh shit.

One.

Your grammar ain't up the par.

So I had to say.

Okay, full.

Okay, you're actually gonna question my grammar compared to yours.

Yes, I had to redneck it.

Okay.

So I think he needs to read more of my books.

Let the audience decide.

Even if you do, no matter what they say, you don't listen.

Y'all go buy her book and tell me if I need to read it.

Which one?

All of them.

The only one I was like, you can never read is who kicked towards.

Even though you're a main character.

And I made a I made a promise I would not.

So if y'all read that book and it's about me, don't tell me about it.

And who am I in there?

None your business.

Stucco.

No, I didn't name you Stucco in that book.

What'd you name me?

I'm not telling you.

Because you would go skim through it to find the name.

No.

You name me Dave or Bob.

I'm not telling you.

And it was even in there that I never got over you.

No.

You would call me Trevor, wouldn't you?

No.

Donald.

What do you Trump?

No.

Anyway, who kicked first it out on Amazon?

I did put in there you broke my heart because the book is 100% factual.

That is that is true, y'all.

Shattered.

Destroyed.

Ruptured.

Okay.

Shattered into millions of little tiny pieces.

But don't dwell on the past, sweetie.

Oh.

Oh, you're funny.

I am your future.

Blah, blah, blah.

I don't say blah blah blah blah blah.

I heard you watched Pitch Perfect last night.

I did not only watch Pitch Perfect.

I watched Pitch Perfect 2.

Also, we got we gotta finish up the half of the movie tonight.

I can't imagine either one of you ninnies watching this.

Hey, it was her turn to pick, so she picked it.

But I can't she had to do that to torture you after you made her watch Barbie because she doesn't like that crap.

I like some of it.

It was hilarious.

Yeah.

We're down there laughing.

But that crap is stupid.

Like you made her watch Barbie and she wanted to like hang you by appendages.

Easy.

I'm just saying.

I mean, could you imagine her if you really pissed her off how she could be?

Whew.

I've seen it.

Not at me, but I've seen it.

You think a megalodon's vicious?

A what?

A shark.

That's a big word for you.

I'm impressed.

What shark?

Yeah.

Your boy Jason Statham was in that movie.

I haven't seen all his movies.

He does have a new one coming out.

I'm still waiting on James Spader.

James Spader.

Well, yeah, buddy.

You need to come on a show.

Get with Amir.

Aram.

Aram.

Nice guy he is.

I'll say that to the end of time.

He's so nice.

Aram is so nice.

Amir.

Well, right.

But he played Aram.

Amir Amush.

A Mushtabai.

Mushtabai.

I can't say that.

Amusth.

Mushtabai.

Mushtabai.

He was sorry if I slaughter your name, buddy.

He was a freaking amazing.

I love this scene in the blacklist in one of the episodes where Raymond gets a Rom and has him at a table.

And he was like, Do you know this gun?

And Rom's like, uh-huh.

And he goes, You have until I disassemble this weapon and put it back together to wire this money into this account, or I'm gonna shoot you in your head.

And he's like, Well, that's not very nice.

And he was like, wait a minute.

You know, he's just oh, he's awesome.

He's really cool, he's really funny.

But I would love to have why the people I really want on all start with Jay.

You know, I just realized I'd like to have Jason Statham on.

Johnny Depp.

Johnny Depp, James Spader.

I'm just saying Jason Lamoa.

Nah.

No.

Sorry, Jason.

You're out.

I mean, he would I'd be happy to bring him on, but he's not my top.

Right.

Right.

I mean, it's just and you know what?

He's a good person.

I'm sure he does wonderful things, but like Johnny Depp has gone through domestic violence and survived, and what a hellacious event that he went through.

And I look at him in such a heroic way, not only just because of what he went through and survived, but what he does for special needs kids.

Oh, yeah.

What he did and what he does going to all the hospitals, and he just shows up as you know, Jack Sparrow.

He brings his costume with him everywhere he goes, and he tells everybody that he feels guilty because he shouldn't feel that good for doing this.

Like he wants to go to help the kids, and it really helps him.

Like, you know, that is such an honorable person to go through all that.

You know, that's amazing.

Jason Spader just was the iconic James Spader.

Sorry, James, sorry, woo-hoo, James Spader.

His disposition, I don't take drugs.

Exactly.

His disposition and demeanor, that character was made for him.

Like that role was made for him.

I wasn't a big fan of him in the 80s where he played the roles where he was a brat.

Like, you know, eh, but that role Raymond Reddington.

That's all I gotta say.

So for those of y'all who have not picked up the book, Who Kicked First from Amazon, I just want to let you know it was confirmed here recently by a good friend that the book was placed in the hand of Tyler Perry.

Tyler Perry.

Oh, and one more.

Hello.

What who did we get a personal invitation from?

Oh, that's right, John Cusack.

He got the book, reached out, and was complimenting me on the thriller memoir of Who Kicked First, and said that if they do a movie release on any of his upcoming movies, he is gonna send me tickets to come meet him and be on the red carpet with him.

Huh.

Now, could he play the idiot?

Because he plays some good characters.

You know, here's the thing I've been asked so many times who I would want to play who in the movie.

They would have to really, I don't know.

The person that I think hands down, no pun intended, to be idiot would be Keith or Sutherland.

Like I I've always said that and I've never deviated from that.

Keith or Sutherland, if you ever saw eye for an eye, you would understand.

Referred to the idiot as the bad guy, the abusive ex in her book, Who Kicked First.

Right.

I mean, it if you saw Eye for an Eye, Miss Sally Field, and you saw this guy, and it was played by Keith or Sutherland, you would understand.

Yeah, people said, who would you have play your egg donor and your sperm donor?

And you know, and I'm like, oh my god, I don't know.

Like Shirley McLean, I think it might be you think of her from what is that movie Julia Roberts played in that she died in.

I can't think of the name of it right now.

Oh my god, what was the movie?

What a little too old.

Uh-uh.

Yes, she is.

What are you ta what are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

Troy and playing a little too old, play your mother in there.

My mother.

Do you have a caller like this?

Sorry, I just cussed you out.

That was ugly all day.

That wasn't nice.

We refer to her bios as her egg donor and sperm donor.

You don't say much different.

What do you call your mother?

I don't.

Not sure.

And why not?

Steel Magnolias.

Oh god, steal magnolias.

I forgot.

I've probably seen that movie once.

And everybody's like, who would play you?

I don't know.

Who would play you?

Yes.

You know, the first like one of the very first people I thought people might say, uh, Jennifer Gardner.

Jennifer Gardner.

Jennifer Gardner?

Just that that that stealed determination to stay upright.

You know, to stay fighty.

Right.

You know.

To take a hit or a cause.

Carrie Washington.

The one the beautiful woman who was in the scandal.

She's an African-American actress.

She's amazing.

You know.

Hallie Berry, oh my god.

I met her once.

Woo!

If I ever could even.

Like, she she's the sweetest thing in the world.

I I don't know.

But like, who would I get to play you?

James Spader.

Just so I could be on the set.

Just so I could be on the set.

Well, let's see if uh Mr.

Perry does anything with your book.

Maybe somebody someone of our listeners that works out at his studio.

Here in Atlanta, where we are.

Can't put a bug in his ear.

Hey, remember that book?

That's sitting on your desk that was given to you in your hand.

How about a movie?

That would be amazing.

That would be awesome.

That would be.

It would bring awareness.

There's not enough awareness out there.

There really isn't.

And so many people don't want to come forward because nothing gets done to help us.

It's all, you know, you're supposed to be when it when you go and say, hey, this person did this to me, you shouldn't be interrogated.

You shouldn't have to be abused all over again.

I mean, you know, even from the moment the police get there and they interrogate you and they separate and story and story, and you know, dependent because I was military, so you have interrogation all over again.

And then, you know, if you go to court, then you get interrogated by the defense.

And and it's like, when does that son of a bitch get interrogated?

Right?

They're the ones that should be called to the forefront, not us.

You know, I mean, it's not a he said, she said if there's proof on the person.

If you have personal proof on your body, then you know, like I was strangled.

Perfect example.

I was strangled and I had pictures.

And you could clearly see, you've seen these pictures, you can clearly see the thumb marks on my neck.

Well, the thumb marks are side by side, right?

Well, the defense tried to say I strangled myself.

Well, you take your own hands and try to wrap them around your own throat.

First of all, your two thumbs aren't gonna match side to side, they're not gonna be in the front of your vocal box, right?

And if you do side, if you try to strangle yourself, it's gonna be your forefingers and your forefingers touching.

And you could clearly see in the photographs the two thumbs in the front and then the four fingers on side and side, and they were even measured, and they measured out to be the length and width of this monstrosity.

So to have somebody else sit there, you know, and even if you're the biggest prick of a lawyer, I'm sure at some point in your life you've had a mom, a sister, a wife, a daughter, someone that's a female or a man that's gone through this somewhere or been disrespected or hurt or assaulted in some way.

Imagine that's them on that stand, you know.

I know you're doing your job and you're making big money for it, but how about a little compassion?

You know, you don't have to come up there and re-assault us all over again.

And that's what they do.

You know, the one thing I want to say before we go, and I think this is gonna be my 45th, 46th opening book, is I have been asked numerous times about, well, at some point in time, and I can't wait to hear Michael's reactions because he has not heard me mention this at all.

I've had many people say when I do speaking engagements, well, at some point in time you picked him, right?

You chose him, you made that choice, you consciously made a choice to get in a relationship with him, right?

Well, here's what I say to this, and this is the first time I've ever mentioned this podcasting, but I will say this as I do when I speak.

So, what are you doing, babe?

So here's the thing people say, Oh, well, you picked him, you chose this.

You you pick that individual to get into a relationship with.

Now, I'm gonna ask my husband when you have gone to a restaurant.

Let's say you go to a restaurant, and in the restaurant, you pick up the menu, and what are you doing?

Okay, what are you doing?

Nothing.

What uh I what are you doing?

Nothing.

Okay, then why is your phone pointed at me?

It's pointed at your arm.

Why?

Oh, it because it's seizing, it does that.

I can't help it anymore.

It's what it does.

Yeah, okay, you could stop recording now.

Thanks so imagine going, uh okay, babe.

Imagine going to you, which we've done numerous times.

Imagine going to a nice steakhouse or whatever, and on the menu you see a juicy steak, and you say, because I know how my husband likes his meat, he wants it done, killed raw.

I mean, just nasty, just kill it and charcoal it, right?

Well done.

So he sees the picture and he says, Oh, this comes with mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, salad, green beans, whatever, right?

You see this picture, and the picture is very inviting to you.

It's very inviting to you.

Same thing.

We are presented with a narcissistic, charismatic individual who presents themselves in the same way of this picture that you saw on the menu, right?

They're forthcoming, very giving, very understanding.

They find that little glitch of what you're missing in your life and they take hold of it.

They present themselves in the way that makes it appealing, where you want to quote unquote order it and have it in your relation.

Okay.

So that's what happens is people say, Well, you picked him, you picked him.

Okay, well, you know what?

You picked that off the menu.

It came to you, you asked for it to be well done, and it was blood raw, you got it blood raw instead of a mashed potato, you got baked potato.

You didn't get green beans, you got lima beans.

It's the same presence.

You got you asked for one thing and you got something else.

So when this charismatic piece of shit comes up and knows exactly what to say, knows how to say it, knows how to manipulate and turn everything away and around onto them.

This is what they do.

And they are really good at it.

I mean, they are really, really good at it.

And then the minute you're like, wait, this isn't right, this isn't whatever, they find a way to finagle that.

It's just like sending that steak back and bringing it back.

And instead, it's still blood red.

It's just maybe, you know, not as rare, but there's still blood coming out of it.

It's the same concept, you know.

What you think you're getting and what you get are two totally different things.

And while you think you're ordering something that you're gonna enjoy, just like when you meet someone and you think this is somebody I could have a healthy, positive relationship with, and when you get into the meat of it, metaphorically speaking, you realize that it's just a bloody mess.

And that is truly what it ends up being.

So when people try to place blame on you, but they don't understand and they just say, Well, you picked it.

Okay, well, I'm sure you've picked something before that didn't turn out the way you wanted it either.

Like you saw some great shoes, and you're like, These are gonna be great, they're gonna make my legs look fabulous, they're gonna really enhance my whatever, and then you get them and they're too small, or they're not wide enough, or they're too tall, and you can't you focus and walk the correct way in them.

Then guess what?

The perception of what you thought you would see at first visual preference isn't what you end up getting, and that is a big deal, right?

So people are so quick to say, you chose him, you stayed, you picked him, whatever, but you don't know the whole concept behind it.

And good for you for never going through it, good for you for being one of those one and three that haven't gone through it because there's one and four that have.

And unless you've walked in our shoes, you have no idea what we've gone through.

You don't know.

And I hope you never do.

I really hope you never do.

But for those that place criticism and blame on us who have endured the pain, shame on you.

Because you need to take a moment, look yourself in the mirror, and say, Why am I being so negative and dramatic and unnecessary to someone who did nothing wrong?

How about showing some support instead of criticism?

Because one day, at some point in time in your life, you're gonna need help.

And the people with the biggest hearts are the ones that have been hurt the most, and they don't want anyone else to go through that pain that they go through, they're gonna help you.

And more than likely, you're gonna use them, walk all over them, use them as a carpet, get whatever you can out of them, and shoe them away until the next time, because that's what you do, and that puts you in the same narcissistic pool of bullshit that all these others are in.

So, you want to know more about what Victoria is talking about?

Go pick up both her books off Amazon.

The first one is called Who Kicked First, and the second one.

It sounds like he's like my my is called Nark Narc Who's There.

Go read these and check them out.

It may just save you or your loved one's life.

There are little nuggets in there that really do make a difference and that really will shine light.

I mean, honestly, go back, even if you go in there and get it for the the simple part of how I escaped, because this piece of shit followed me to work.

He would call my office because I had a direct line and he would make sure it showed up on his phone so he knew I was in the office.

He made me call several stops along the way so he would know when I would be back to the house.

I mean, I could go nowhere.

If I was gonna go to the store, I would have to call him from the store to verify and then show the receipt, and he would find out how long it took to get from point A to point B to make sure I didn't go anywhere else.

And so every move I made was watched, every single one.

So I knew that I was only gonna get one real good chance to get out because when I did try the first time, he shot and killed my puppy to show me what he would do if I ever tried to leave again.

And your other family members are just as unsafe in my opinion.

Well, they knew it.

They get brought in.

They knew him, yeah.

And they're yeah, there you'll get to learn a lot more about that in the prequel.

But anyway, and I'm no contact with them, and you know what?

I wish them nothing but the best.

I pray for them every night because I don't want that negativity in my heart.

No matter how much they talk bad about me and belittle me and degrade me and my family, I still have gone above and beyond to protect them and their identities, even though I've been told not to.

I still have.

I've even been challenged by them in multiple ways.

But you know, when you're right, there's nothing you can do about disputing.

So, anyway, that's what I've got.

And so hop over to the website, the stage of smile, check out the awesome academy my wife has produced.

Check out those books under Victoria Cure on Amazon, and you can even type in Faith Cure Solomon, she's written some books.

Y'all help support our program here because there's not much coming in to help support us.

Well, and we do.

And here's the thing, my husband's gonna be like, Oh, I'm not surprised.

Oh lord.

On top of our academy that has multiple collections, we have you know, for vets and special needs, and we have for survivors of abuse.

We even have our marketing to show how we have gotten the numbers and followers that we have.

On top of it, I have since and not told my husband because it's just what I do.

We have a whole nother collection.

It's actual workshops that have been created to help go through different things that are going on with people individually.

And there's already some workshops that have been created and uploaded in that collection now as well.

So that's new to the academy and has been added in the last week.

So how many classes in the academy?

Well, published or unpublished because there's a bunch in there I have not published yet because I have to go in there and write the descriptions and I have to add it to each collection.

There were 128 last count Tom I can't.

Or like 180 something.

What you are a machine, woman.

Well, I am all mechanical, I just need a WD40 washing.

I'm all oh, I'll lube you up, baby.

My god, and on that note, I'm saying see you later.

Tell Michael he needs to be doing more podcasting because it's like pulling teeth with him lately.

He he's just barely have teeth with him.

Uh well thank y'all for listening to Contagion Smile Unstoppable with Wish me luck tomorrow as I get ripped, Michael and Victoria Cure.

You sound like my marketing manager, and I don't even have one.

I'm just saying.

Do you mean you market you?

You'd you would never put me out there like that.

No, no, you're all for me.

Good night, y'all.

Oh Lord help me.