But the beauty of love when it's right for you and you define it, you see it like it's like the light bulb goes off because you're clear.

All the things I said amounted to that.

So when I saw my love of my life, when I saw my husband, it's like, that's it.

Do you know?

But it's like you start to paint the picture of the person without knowing who they're going to be, but when you see them, you know, that's it.

That's it.

This episode is brought to you by Boost Mobile.

All right, let's do it because my girl is here today.

A Grammy winning artist, entrepreneur, mother who has sold over twenty three million records worldwide.

She's given us era defining hits.

We could run them all down, goodies, want to step level up?

Will be here all day.

But she's also a woman who's continued to build a life that she's designed with intention, discipline, and faith.

She reminds women everywhere that leveling up is not just a moment, it is a decision.

She's amazing.

She is Sierra.

She is our guest today.

Thank you.

This is hey Angie.

So happy you're here.

Hi, baby me too.

We finally get to get together.

I know we did a short one.

We were with the BET Awards.

We popped it and you were in a little moment in your life right then, Oh my gosh, there was a big birthday coming for you.

She found.

Like I said, the forties are the new twenties.

I was definitely you weren't excited about it.

I've been having a mental process, but you know what it is for me.

The mental process is it's a psychological thing because it's really more so like the number can play tricks on your mind.

Because where I feel internally like I feel really good, Like I feel like thank you so much.

I feel like I'm and I keep saying this, so people probably went back some of my older interviews.

I'm like, I fel like I'm in my best place, but I do.

I feel like life is getting better, it's getting fuller.

The wisdom is starting to serve a big role in my life, like where you work smarter, not hard in some cases.

And I think the self awareness of how you take care of yourself, like how you can be strategic to be the best for yourself.

Like all these things are happening at one time, and so I feel really good.

I do I feel really good for you.

Yeah, I like it.

I'll tell you to look at it different.

It's not that you were anti, you just were having it was hard I did.

It was really about you have to embrace it.

You have to because you know, it sounds dramatic to me when you say forty, It's like, what the heck, It's like, not me, that don't sound right right.

It sounds like we can oh, but it's like no, no, no, you're getting better.

It's like, why when did you hit that next decade?

Oh my gosh, which is crazy.

So that's what I keep saying.

Like even when I was talking, I was with Joe and Jada and Joe I couldn't believe he was fifty five mm hmm.

I was like, wow, I just thinking when you say them, like, oh my gosh, like we're gonna be all right, Like you know, so I will say, and I've been having this great curiosity.

So I'll talk to people and I'm like, you know, if you don't mind me asking how old are you?

Like it's been a thing I keep doing.

And I remember wanting running into one of the moms at our kids school, at my kids school, and I asked her I said.

She was talking about like life and perimenopause and all that stuff, and I said, you don't mind me asking how old are you?

And she's like, I'm forty five.

I was like, wow, yeah.

I was like, I'll be all right.

She was like, girl, she's like the forties are the new twenties but with money.

And I was like, oh, I like that.

That's bars.

But when she said that, like her confidence and like how she felt when she was speaking to.

A woman, you needed an image of what for you?

Yeah, I'm like, okay, inspired.

It's the psychological thing.

It's totally psychological because that thing, you know, they say aging, nothing but a number, like you know, the way we live, it marks where we are in our lives.

You can be young as ever and live like an old lady.

You can be older and live young, you know.

So it's all like within you.

So that's like my whole like kind of way I look at it.

I think my kids also keep me young too, but you know, mama gotta stay tapped in, so and I think it's more so like tapped in.

There's different levels of tapped in.

For me, it's tapped in for my babies.

I want to be like aware what's happening in their world.

I have to go back into my you know, think tank to be like what was life like when I was their age because they go through these different things.

You're like, I want to be like I want them to feel comfortable with me, but I also want to make sure I'm like thinking about what I could have done better to serve them better.

You know, you have that part, And then there's just also being tapped in as an artist too, Like you know, that's the beautiful thing about music to me.

You know music, Their music is ageless, you know in a sense, and the gift of being able to dance, and you know, what I do as an artist, I feel like allows me to live young, whether it's you know, creating dances that start to become trends or like saying tapped in with the dances that are trending, you know, like I'll be on my TikTok game.

You're strong, all of that?

Not you then who you?

Like?

You were like mad?

You're so sweet?

All these dance challenges and stuff like if not you then who.

To do that?

You're so sweet?

You know, But it's I do I do like to live young and and then obviously my husband's younger than me too, so I gotta keep it.

Yes, that's right.

What is the age difference?

Three years?

Is there a difference?

Do you feel like there's an age.

He's an old soul, to be honest with you, he might be a little more older than me.

Sometimes I feel like his fullness as a man, and that feels good.

You ever notice how everything keeps going up?

I mean rent is going up, Streaming services are going up.

Even like your favorite burrito place all of a sudden wants to charge you for southside.

You go to the supermarket, they want to charge you extra for the bag.

It's kind of crazy out here.

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All right, So as in the intro, we were running down some of your errors, right, and you're in this new era now actually in many ways in business and the age number and all that and your family and stuff.

But like, let's just go through a couple of the eras.

Okay, I'm curious because this is in real life, and I just wonder in these eras, like if we go back to the beginning, like the Goodies era, like from the outside it's like defined the error, Well, what were you in?

What was happening in your real life at that?

And my real life the Goodies era, the world was moving really fast, you know.

I was eighteen nineteen, you know, I remember being on camera a year before everything took off, the aras to send cameras to go to my graduation and my prom and all that stuff.

And they said, they asked me in an interview, where do you see yourself a year from now?

And then my super Atlanta, you know Southern.

Lastly myself, I have a number one son.

I want to be a board chalk, you know, and literally a year later, Goodies was number one, you know, for quite some time, and that was a blessing.

But in that era, I was a big baby.

You know, I'm always an old soul.

So I knew for a fact I was doing exactly what God called me to do, you know, in reference in my career, especially at that time.

Yeah, oh I knew it.

I knew even when I like before I started really pursuing my career, like I had confirmation spiritually before I decided to pursue it.

What does that mean?

What does that look like?

So you know, I was probably thirteen is going on fourteen in that timeframe, and we were talking about We were me and my friends at a lunch table and we were talking about like life post high school and you got to start thinking about registering for colleges and what you're going to do and what you yeah, and I was like, I was like, I think I'm want to I know, I want to be a singer, like I want to be an entertainer.

And I was very clear at that table, and literally I went home like I had miss school one day, went home and I made my own goal sheet and I wrote down like what my goals are going to be.

And I was like, I'm going at My first goal was to get discovered, and then once I got discovered, how did you.

Even know to do that?

It was just like I got to put a plan together.

I'm like, what's the plan at thirteen?

Yeah?

Yes, I'm an.

Only child too, so I think.

I think when you're an only child, you have like so much time with yourself to just think and dream and like visualize and just like.

Let me get this vision board up.

So it's like I went home, I wrote down my goal.

She first goal was to get discovered, and I wrote how I was gonna do it and put myself in talent shows like if I want to discovered, I got to be seen.

Okay, So that's like, okay, I do that.

And the second goal was once I got discovered, I wanted to sell three to four million albums.

And then my third goal was to have longevity.

So it wasn't the longest goal, she, but in my mind I needed to have a game plan to get there and no, Lie.

Two weeks after I wrote this down, my friend that was the lunch table with me, he came up to me to my locker rooms like, hey, there's this group looking for a third member, Like do you want to audition for it.

Did you feel that, like, oh, man, I manifed, did you even No?

No, no, no, no manifest Let.

Me tell you though, this is how my life works.

Okay, I can see something for myself and and normally when I feel it, like it's a feeling you have, like it's a spiritual thing.

It's like it's a thing that's like conviction, like this is what I'm going to do.

Like I had that feeling.

So when I'm saying this is what I want to do, like it's not just me pulling from the ears.

Like I really believe in manifestation.

You know, you're like the poster girl essentially.

You know about manifestation at thirteen, Like to even do that?

Is that something you were taught or is just.

No, it was in me.

I'm not gonna lie like it was in me.

You know.

My dad, my mom and my dad were both in the military, and my dad was in the Army and my mother was in the Air Force.

I'm definitely a daddy's girl, and I always watched my dad.

He was like the perfect, I think, walking real life model of like when you do all the things you're supposed to do and you do them with like high level efforts in like discipline, and like if you do that, like you're going to you're going to get somewhere, Like you're going to go somewhere, you're gonna get great results back.

But yeah, eighteen nineteen, the world was moving so fast in that era.

I mean literally every song back to back was number one or top two or start top three, your top ten, and that was like a lot happening, you know.

But but honestly, I think I didn't even know how to like live fully and all of that.

Did you know, I want to take you back for a second, did you know in those times, like what you were doing, like were you calling.

It manifest manifestation?

I was just doing it.

Yeah, you just believe.

I just believed.

I believe.

Yeah, it was conviction.

I just you know what it is.

I feel like I've always had a gift and an ability to will whatever I've wanted into my life, good and bad.

It's so good, okay, right.

And that's a real thing, right you can.

Why would you ever will something bad.

Because you don't know it's bad.

Oh you're like I want that, yeah, yeah, but that's not good.

Yeah.

So again, the wisdom now we know, right, yeah, okay, but that's kind of that thing.

But I've always really been very fortunate enough that when I speak life into something and I'm convicted, I have to like know, like it's one thing to be like I want to do this, well I don't really know, like I'm not sure about it.

I got to like no, and I can feel it.

Like when I said I wanted to be a singer and I was literally it was one day.

I was at home and I was watching a live television performance and I was like, I got goosebumps all over my body.

Wow, And I was like, that's what I'm going to do.

So I knew it.

I wonder how people can tap into that, Like when you think about everybody in their everyday life, they might not be aspiring to be a singer and have had this legendary career, but like we all have dreams, goals, Yeah, the.

Thing that pulls us to something.

I just wonder how how would you describe tapping into that for people, like for someone who maybe just hasn't had that experience.

You know.

I think it's a combination of things.

I think it's like think about sometimes you just have to pause, like you know, like just be still, like to really feel like what do I think I can be the best at that serves me best?

Like, you know, how does it make me feel?

Do I get excited about it?

You know?

You got to be excited about your dreams, like you got to be that passion is what gives you what you need when you really don't want to do it, you know, but it's like how does it make me feel?

You know?

I think you have to It's like a when you start to process that way, you start to feel it through your veins because like that's that thing that makes you feel like I'm about to go do it, you know, So you got to have like those things like can I do it?

Check?

Okay?

First of all, what do I want to do?

Okay?

Can I do it?

Check?

How does it make me feel?

Like?

You know?

And then once you start feeling that energy and that juice just flow through you, it's like that's it.

Like I don't I don't know one person that is successful that whatever they chose to do in life they had, they didn't have a passion connected to it, you know what I mean.

Like it's like you got to have that passion, Like, does it make you feel like driven to go and be great at it?

Is it make you feel driven to learn about it?

Does it make you feel driven to like, you know, to just like figure it out?

Like that is different?

Have you ever lost that feeling in all these years?

But my role is is that if I lose it, then I won't do it.

That's my role.

I always hear conversations about you, La, La always shares like when she's.

Like, you'll check her like, don't speak that, don't do that.

You'll check your friends about being positive and all that.

And I just wonder what the pep talk to yourself is, like, oh man, in those moments when you're questioning yourself, when you're you know, when you're in the down moments where it's not sweet like that, do you do that for your Yeah.

I definitely have to hype me up.

I gotta hide myself up Mario sometimes because you like, oh my gosh, like life is life and but yeah, I mean, I'm so literal with speaking in life that it's like the rule and every now then I have to catch myself.

But you cannot speak negative things like that's just not an option.

So because of that it pushed me to speak positive things because I know that words carry weight, Like what you say has power.

So you never say anything negative ever.

Not never, but really rarely rarely.

It's not even like an option.

That mean, like not like if something's bad like a show's bad, movies bad, or this is like I don't like that or that person in real Like what do you mean never say anything negative?

How do you like?

Oh?

Like you mean like about things in the world.

Yeah, I don't like if I don't like something, if I don't like something, yeah, like if something is like not that's negative, but I mean like to myself.

Yeah, no, no, no, that's what I'm saying, Like when.

It's like you ain't got this, or like why the.

Word I can't like?

I don't like that, Like you don't do I can't.

I'm not I don't like that, you know, like that's for my own like prep talk, like you have to like because if you say you can't, then you won't.

Okay, what about when you're beat up or tired?

Do you say that I'm tired tired?

Yeah, I'm tired, you say, well we do No no, no, no, no, it's not even an option like no, no, no, no, not for me.

I mean and and and and again.

Sometimes you know you're supposed to take a different turn, so you have to also be realistic with that too, Right, It's like, Okay, I tried all these things and this didn't work.

Okay, maybe it's meant for me to try something else.

But I think quitting.

Quitting to me is failing.

That's not failing when it doesn't work.

You weren't raised such by a military dad.

I think that has a lot to do with it, because it's one thing to have passion, But if you have passion and no discipline, it.

Doesn't always got to have you got to have a discipline to write.

It's like we you know, I say, in life, like what's your compass?

Like you have to have a compass, Like you can't get to where you want to get to in life without some kind of like compass.

So that for me goes back to like the goal sheet or like even now I have to write things down.

Yeah you know, I write.

You know, it's funny I need to update this one, but I did.

I do have a new plan get my phone that I started phone, so it's my because I'm in the forty club the club.

Okay, So my forty day challenge for entering this club, I wrote down, hold on, so I've done this one thing before and I know they're on the Bible app.

It allows you to do it.

So I had to read the Old Testament in forty days.

The app does that forty days.

Okay.

Then I said I want to do no carbs at night.

I could give myself one night to do it.

Okay, days for forty days.

Okay.

Then I'm going to train three times a week and that can be like peloton or with a trainer.

But I got to be active, Okay, I need to sweat.

I gotta take my vitamins daily.

And then I wanted to do my Spanish lessons four times a week for forty days, for forty days.

Are you doing that?

I'm about to kick it all in.

Oh you're about to start.

Yes, I'm about to start it.

So are you getting ready for to watch bad Bunny and Super Bowl?

Is that what's coming?

Ons?

Bad money is bad money is the uh esta?

Oh, I'm just playing.

I don't know that money like that Bunny as me and me.

I'm just joking.

I don't know bad money, but I have met him before, and he's so talented, and I do love that, bunny.

I think he's so dope.

Your Spanish like yo yo ma, I want be lit No.

But honestly, I've already been doing Spanish.

But my whole thing is that I really want to like stay on the track of like getting being fluent.

Like I'm like, I've come so far.

I still like half your list.

What else is on the list?

I want to do Spanish?

I want to go to the Janish Yes, the gym.

I'm gonna stop carbs, yeah.

Vitamins add That was my base thing.

I was like, you know what I did want to do though, because I love that.

I love like, you know, music as well, and the like I love that song no no no no no no.

So I'm like, I want to learn that song in forty days too.

You want to learn the song?

Yeah, like to perform it, like just able to sing it.

Yeah.

Yeah, I love that yeaheah yeah.

I kind of have the hook in my head already.

And it's funny because my baby girl and mortar, which means love in Spanish and Italian.

Speaking of my Spanish, she goes bombo.

She says, it back because I'm like singing it in the kitchen with.

Her, because you're practicing.

Yeah, it's so good.

I don't know.

I'm obsessed with the Latino culture.

I've always said I'm Flexican.

I'm black in Mexican.

That's what I am in my head.

But I do feel like it's it's it's it's cherish for me.

Spanish is flowing before mine is flowing.

Oh that's crazy, so it would be nuts.

I have to get focused immediately.

Seriously, because wait, what the heck you're not You're not fluent in Spanish.

No, never been really, because I grew up here in my my mother's second generation.

I'm third generation.

Oh my gosh, she.

Was born and raised in New York.

My mother's my mother's fluent, but she has to work on it to be fluent.

It's her first language, is rolling with English.

English.

Yeah, and so yeah, no, we gotta do this.

I'm gonna come on, let's go come.

Listen the sound of it.

I might.

Yes, I'm gonna mess with you too, like when I get it down really good.

Because like my girls like law, Law and b it's funny because they both speak Spanish.

I always forget that law is fluid.

Oh yeah, but but no, no, no no, I don't want to I don't want to put them on blast, but uh, you know law and in Vanessa we literally were I asked them both.

I was like, how do you say like something with the airport in Spanish?

And those girls took like they took forever to like go back and forth because there's different ways that you say it.

Do not roast me, girls, But I'm just saying though, like you feel like it was funny, I can totally.

Catch the weakness you can squeeze in there.

Listen.

I'm just saying, I'm gonna join the club.

Okay, We're gonna be able to be having our little conversations in Spanish and I cannot wait for that, Like and they will tell you.

I will like ask questions like how do I say this?

How do I say this?

And they give it back to me and.

I love this.

I love this for me too, because I'm gonna steal the whole forty day list.

Let's go.

Yeah, I'm into it right, Yeah.

I think my greatest thing is is, like, you know, when you reached such significant milestones in your life, like what does it mean?

Like again, I have to ask myself, like where are we going?

Do you have those type of conversations with your girlfriends?

Yeah, like is this like a thing that Oh yeah, I had a whole conversation and all my girls made me feel good when.

I turned fifty.

Yeah, I remember sitting in a parking lot going into a restaurant and I don't know, it was like all of a sudden it was it was like freaked me out.

Like I just I was.

Fine, I didn't care, and then all of a sudden, it was like a wave of it, like it was freaking me out.

And I called Taraji because she had just did this thing about I don't know, we had a hole, and she was like, yeah, girl, we had.

I remember sitting in the parking lot of a restaurant ready to go meet some other friends who were younger, because when you're younger and they're like thirties and forties, and I was like, I can't talk to them about this.

Had a quick little chat about it, and then I went into the restaurant.

But sometimes just having a safe space or women that you can kind of communicate those huge vulnerability, you know, because we don't want to feel that way.

Or necessarily even project that we want to be confident and okay and so you know, but we do have moments and I think those are the moments with friendships that.

Oh it's huge.

My friends have been so tremendous for me on this journey, especially entering this era because within my super close knit you know, group, I was the last one, you know.

So that's what I'm saying.

I look at them, I'm like, she's gonna really be good because I feel like everyone keeps getting better and Kelly and then Kelly.

Looks better than ever.

Oh my gosh.

The body is body.

And I'm just telling you, like what I look at them, I'm like, oh my gosh, Like I told her, like she inspires me so much.

Like and she's like if you meet Kels, you know, she's like the ultimate like girl, Like she's on top of everything with taking care of herself.

Like she's the one that if she's doing a diet plan, she's sticking to it.

I'm like, you're right, like, yeah, we gotta stay, let's stay the course.

Like she's that one that I can call to you.

Also spiritually, she's really like tapped in, like so we can pray together in a really special way, like you know, she's that girl, and she's also just ultimate all my girls, ultimate mamas like you know.

And then my best friend.

Also she's my matron of honor and my makeup artist since I was sixteen years old.

I met her my first professional shoot.

We're now twenty five plus years deep.

She is sixty want sixty two am I saying, I always do the age guessing game.

I'll show you what she looks like at the end of this.

But she hates when I call her out, but I have to because like when I tell you the Box of Wisdom, I know God put her in my world to go to hold my hand at times when I need a little the way because it was just me like my parents, my managers.

I don't have the biggest like family in my intermediate circle.

And I know God gave me her as a big sister.

But you know, it's like, you know, that's my core, core core, as far as like you know, every day on the phone with it, you know.

And then I also like my girls are like my little sisters, like Tiana and Normani and you know Coco, like you know, so there's like different mediums, you know, but it's sweet.

You know, I feel really blessed to have like the circle of girls.

I also gonna say Serena too, She's also another really great friend of mine too.

But all the girls that I'm surrounded by are fearless, you know, They're like, no nonsense.

Have you had to like because this is the thing that comes up sometimes I've had this conversation with some of my girlfriends.

It's like, have you had.

To like limit or ever cut a friendship?

Or yeah, how do you manage?

How do you manage that?

You know, I really believe in the idea of you know, who you surround yourself with is really important.

Like what do they say to you when you're going through things?

Like what do they say to you when you're vulnerable?

You know?

Are they a negative person?

Like I can't do negative energy?

And also do their does their the way they see life?

Overall?

You don't have to do everything the same, but does it align with how you see life?

Right?

Like?

Are they ambitious like you are?

Like you know, are they one that likes to party all the time?

Like that maybe not may not be your speed?

Like you know, it's like I think that us and I talk about being equally yoked in our marriage, but in your friendships.

I think that's important to have some kind of like a lot of a lot more equals or things that are more alike than like completely opposite.

But yeah, because that can go both ways.

Like there's a beauty of like having different personalities and like everyone having their own thing.

There's a beauty to that, but more so like the moral compass, like how do you guys align?

You know, and and I'll be honest with you from experience, I'm a big believer that if someone is bringing negativity into your space, like remove it immediately.

Like I have no hesitation.

I get excited to drop dead weight.

No I do.

It's listen.

It hurts when you're disappointed by someone that you thought was your friend, but there's nothing better than when you know who they are.

I prefer that kind of enemy.

You know.

How do you drop dead weight?

Is it just cold like off?

It depends on the situation.

And my case is I've had to, like in most cases, I've had to like say like this this and this happened and it's not cool and I'm not okay with it, like you know, so yeah, But to be honest, yeah, you know, because sometimes you also have friends by way of business.

So when it comes to business, I think I can be honestly a little more coldcrazy, you know, but only when I get to that point, because I only know to love big, you know.

That's why I wonder sometimes when you love big and you're that, you know, you're a good soul, You're a good spirit, you like, you know, and so sometimes people want a piece of that.

And I think as women, it's important to kind of like what are our boundaries?

How much do I have to give?

What am I willing to give?

Yeah?

Does this person in my life warrant that anymore?

Or now you have children, you have a husband, your energy and your time goes into your career, and you know, it's like how do you manage the balance of that of where you put all your time?

And well, that's why I don't like, I'm like quality versus quantity.

I try to overfill my cup with too much because it is impossible to be every to be with everyone, and to be at the same level with everything.

Yeah, so that's why I'm like, like my friend circle that I mentioned to you, with a lot of the girls that are in my life, like it's been a long time, you know, So I haven't had anything dramatic like that where I've had to say, you know, I've had in the workspace, I've had, you know, but but you know where I've had to kind of say, hey, this is not the right energy.

But that's why I like consistency.

You know.

I'm such a creature of habit, you know.

And because I'm an only child, all my friends are like my sisters.

They're the aunties to my kids.

You know, they're family to me.

You know.

So what's great pot all of us too, is that it all works like we everyone is doing their own thing and they have their own hands full, so we all understand it for each other.

And when it's Tom Wrose to have fun, we have the best fun.

When it's Tom wro Was to laugh.

We laugh.

Sometimes I'll be on the phone my girls for just five minutes and that fill my cup.

You know, don't have to be like the longest conversations like so, I think that's where it works out because we're all we all get it.

Yeah, you know, I think it's important you have the circle that gets it right.

And then if I need to cry on someone's shoulder or if I need to vent, they're going to give me that time, right, you know, and vice versa.

So that's the blessing I think with how it all works out.

You know, you chose well choosing well.

Only you got to choose, You got to choose.

Well, you got it as well.

It is no good.

It's the truth.

It is no good.

It ain't no good, no bueno?

What ever?

What ever?

Is?

Come on now?

Come on now?

All right?

So what era is this?

Now?

How do you define this era that you're in?

Now?

Oh?

This era right now?

I don't know.

We're walking into it, but I'm going to speak life unto It's gonna be my best.

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Love that for you.

You know a lot of people put have put you in this kind of when you talk about like your purpose and how your walk and how you inspire people to do all these things, you have become like a poster child in a way or like and we've talked about this before.

How you know you've made some changes in your life to be in this relationship, this and this marriage that you're in.

Now, do you.

Ever feel I just wonder from the inside if the energy it's one thing to have success and you're so happy and everybody's happy for you, and you share that, but now everybody wants to know, how did you do it?

What was the prayer?

What did you say?

And that's cool too, But like I just wonder for you from the inside, does it ever feel like almost not a burden, but pressure to live up to like the expectation of being this couple that's did it made it?

Well?

It's a good question, you know.

I try to think about that too much because I think the most important, just most important thing is to remember to live right.

So I say that by saying, you know, first of all, I think it's really sweet, you know, more than anything or you know, girls will say to me it's the funniest thing when they say tell me the prayer and I'm like, wait, what you know?

I think it's sweet though, Like when I because I said that to you, I'm like, this is kind of it's kind of funny and it's kind of like not I don't the weirdest words, like wait, this is so interesting.

It's like a thing.

Yeah, it's powerful powerful.

Yes, you know.

So I think maybe more so focusing on the power and the opportunity to you know, share whatever little bit that I'm learning with someone to help them, Like that's always what I love doing.

Like I was in just recently at and it was a table.

It was so funny because it was all girls at the table, and it was supposed to be like them celebrating my birthday and all this stuff, and they, I mean they, when I tell you, Nigeria did it so big for me.

Like the love that they showed me like was insane.

And you know it's supposed to be not about like music and like birthday and all this stuff.

And then like it's a whole table of woman and one girl asked me some questions about like love or whatever, and I'm like, oh, we're gonna have fun, like because you got to chat about all kinds of like things around love.

And I love asking questions too, because I'm still learning.

You know, I don't have it all figured out.

People figured out.

That's very sweet, guys, but I don't.

But you know, I'm still learning along the way too.

And I love when you can have healthy conversations about life and love.

And I love also talking to people that they don't have to necessarily be older than me, but they've had the experience the wisdom and experience too.

You know.

I love when I can have those conversations because they're healthy, you know.

But I feel like sometimes I hear girls, you know, talking to me and ask me questions because they're curious just like I was, you know, and they're trying to figure out life just like I was.

And again I don't have it all figured out, but you know, I like the first big steps I've been blessed to have taken.

And you know where I am in my life right now.

I'm not gonna lie like I feel really good, you know, I feel really I can be honest, you know, I'm not going to downplay it.

You know.

I thank God that I can wake up every day and not have to think about this part of my life, but only because that's what I desired, right, And I think that's important that it has to be what you desire.

You don't want to just do something just because, right.

I get that.

I wonder because I think if you ask any woman, do you desire to be in a healthy, happy marriage with somebody who's equally yoked and we have the same values, I think most people say, yes, that is what I desire.

But I think sometimes trauma, past experiences, bad habits.

Sometimes maybe kick in for women.

Yeah.

Yeah, And so I was wondering, you have what if which one of which one of that you've had to change or learn about your.

Oh yeah, well again it goes back to the base of like speaking life.

And I'm a big believer that when you enter new chapters, you have to leave the last chapter behind.

Now, if there's something that you're supposed to take with you from the last chapter, take it.

It's most likely going to serve you well to know what you don't want to do and what you even more so what you like too.

So there's that, that's that wisdom, Like, that's why I love, I love to take it.

Don't take the same ship.

Don't.

You can't because it's not fair to yourself and it's not fair to your love that you're trying to give an opportunity to blossom and become you.

You will get in the way of yourself if you don't let go of the past.

Able to do that out of the gate.

Because here's a deal.

Okay, So everyone is everyone's process is different.

But there was a process where it was just me.

Like the just me season is a good season.

Oh I see, do you see what I mean?

Like from a bad situation to like this and then no, this is growing the season I thought was going to be longer than I thought.

It's gonna be single for like four years.

I did, and it was a little less than that.

We were, you know, about ten months, and then I also had a child, right, so that's a real thing.

So the me season was necessary because I'm like, Okay, I can't play with this, like you know, the experimenting phase.

We have to know we're not doing s CC what we're doing, you know.

So but the just I think the just me phase is important because you have to have time to sit with yourself, Like you have to have time just like evaluate like yourself, like as a whole, like not just with relationships, but like where am I as a woman?

Like I for us, even like in my marriage, I have to still like evaluate myself like wait, I gotta make sure I'm keeping it cute, Like I gotta make sure I'm keeping it sexy, Like I gotta push myself like, you know, like I had to talk to myself like where am I?

Like we have to have those moments where we just do self checks and embrace the just me phase.

The just me phase is just fine, Like I think that's so important, Like.

What did you learn in that just me phase?

The just me?

I think in the just me phase I learned even more what I'm capable of.

Like, I learned even more.

I'm gonna be okay, Like you're gonna cry, You're gonna hurt, you're gonna feel all those things.

Like that's a part of it.

And the faster you can cry, the fast the better you're the quicker, the quicker you'll feel better.

Like let yourself go through it, like let yourself be vulnerable, let yourself hurt, because you will know you don't want that feeling again.

Like you know, you eventually understand how to like to not make it happen against right.

Because that's young.

That's what people want to really know.

Like, oh what Jesus, I say, the why cry?

You know what you go through all that?

I've had a few.

It's okay, get that answer.

Yeah, I got the answer, Like like why, well do you want to go to the why?

Yeah?

What depends on the circumstance, right, Okay, So if you what do they say, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is a form of insanity.

Okay, at some point you can't also point the finger.

You have to also look at yourself.

Yeah, that's what I was trying about.

Trying.

Sometimes you say about nobody else I'm saying yeah, yeah.

And then you got to make sure.

Like sometimes you know you're you're looking for love.

Think about the song looking for Love and all the wrong ladies that song.

You know, sometimes you're looking for love, But where are you looking?

And does the love aligned what you are or what you want?

Doesn't mean the love is so so Okay, a bad love experience or a bad love from my perspective with someone that wasn't right for me doesn't mean they're bad love that it just didn't work, like it doesn't that's not the love for me?

Yes, right.

So I think there's like this thing where sometimes we say we want love, but like we have to define it.

What does that love mean for us?

Like you know, what kind of love do you want?

Like how does it make you feel?

Like how how do you and that love like mesh?

Like you know, is it, like we say, being equally yoked?

Like there's these things you don't think about.

Sometimes we just kind of I think, are lofty with our love goals or like our love desires, Like it's like the wait, okay, the surface level that's cute, but what's underneath that like that part matters, right.

Did you identify that going into Oh yeah?

But it was also like you had like your non negotiable so like you had the things where you're like, Okay, I know for a fact I want to feel these key things.

Like I know for a fact.

It was almost it's so crazy because I could, like I cry.

But the beauty of love, when it's right for you and you define it, you see it like it's like the light bulb goes off because you're clear, do you know what I mean?

Like, so I visualized you know, Now I didn't I didn't know like exactly what the face was, but all the things I said amounted to that.

So when I saw my love of my life, when I saw my husband, it's like that that's it.

Do you know?

But it's like you you start to paint the picture of the person without knowing who they're going to be, but when you see them, you know, that's it.

That's it.

Yeah, And that's powerful because that's that's a it's a spiritual thing for me.

You know, before you met him, though, what was that?

What was that thing?

What was on that board?

Because when you're telling me this story, I think of you at thirteen.

Yeah, making that board about what you wanted in your career and then having that confidence and like you said, conviction, a conviction that knowing.

It's like when you're describing this moment, it feels the same way.

Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

But I'm wondering, So what was on the board before you saw him so that you could even see it in him?

So you could have missed it in him, right if you weren't even.

Clear about hundred That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, So that's why it goes back to like what we visualize for love, Like I think for any of us, like you got to like have key you know, elements that are like you see them, like you can feel them.

You see them, you want them, you desire and they're right for you.

What were yours?

My thing was a few things.

I said he was going to be god fearing.

That was important, Like number one, it's going to be god fearing.

He said he's going to love kids because I was my first baby, my precious first lawn.

And then I said that he was going to be worldly and and this may not be the right way, but what not of the world, But you know, like when we travel together, you know, we're going to like really experience together, experience it together, Like we're going to experience the sexy of it, Like we're going to like really be in it together.

Like you know, we can go to any you know, place in the world high or low, and like there's a feeling that comes with it, right, you know, it's like and we can like figure it out.

Right, But there was like there was things like that, I want to say everything and and it's fun because when I think.

About it, are you this detail?

Like did you so you manifested and envisioned this for you?

Yeah?

Did you write anything?

Had you ever tried to do that in a relationship before?

This was the define?

This was different.

So again I always knew I want love, but I wasn't like defining it.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Like you know, it's like and then sometimes like you're in different eras and seasons of your life.

So you're when you're with someone like that's what you're seeing in that moment, right, But when you start thinking about like we can't play with our lives, like I'm just gonna get to it.

Like biological clock, the biological clock for women is a real thing and for men too.

But I'm gonna speak for us, like we can't go backwards, so don't.

I'm not letting somebody waste my time, Like that's a rule.

Like and once I started to understand the value of like how the clock you know, does not wiggle, it's like, wait a minute, like what we're doing, Like I'm not letting someone waste my time on my dying, I'm letting you waste my time, Like that's not an option.

But you have to get to a certain place to feel that because you understand the significance of like and I look back, I can't get it back, and you're not going to keep robbing me of my years.

Don't be love bombing me like that.

I understand what that meant.

But it's like that's not right.

It's not right, guys said, girls up for like big failures.

And you're not clear to your point, and you don't have your vision and you're not clear, it's very easy to be distracted by something else that's taking up your time to yeah, you.

Let and you let people waste your time, like, oh dog, my time is precious because I know how I love like I know when I love, I sincerely love, and I don't pour into something if I don't want to.

So I chose to do this.

I'm not being forced to do this, Like I chose, Like, So am I choosing to give my time to Like?

What am I choosing to pour my love into?

Like?

What am I choosing?

Like?

It's a choice?

Like and I am in control of that.

And you're in the marriage.

So you find this love and you guys have built this union.

What about when you're in it?

Do you still have to make those kind of lists?

Do you still have to.

Recheck in to make sure your boxes are being filled checked?

Yeah?

You do, because you know, thank god, we're now almost on ten years.

Wow.

Wow marriage.

Wow.

Excited and I'm about it.

I love that for you.

You know, I was saying to someone like, I think what's important is that you have to continually search for the beginning, especially when you spend every day of your life with someone for such a long time.

Don't let the butterflies fly away.

You know, the butterflies you have when you first meet each other.

It's like you like little kids, like in high school.

You know that I still get that feeling you do?

Yeah, but you know, Russ and I we will chat like you know, he I will be honest.

His romance like efforts and game is like it's next level really, so it makes us show up cause he be pulled like get me.

There's like I just cannot like I feel like you know, I was saying to someone who's like, you know, passion is everything.

When a person loves you, what they're like when they're passionate, Like that's different because even if like something's not perfect, the passion is like that's an effort, Like he's choosing to like love me, like the way that he, you know, is a man, you know, Like he's choosing to do that.

So like that's just different.

Like because of that, I'm like I got to show up for my man, like you know.

But but the thing is, I will say, I'm trying to think about, like you know what some of the distinctive things that really stand out, you know, or that like helped me to just because it's hard to put it in words, you know, but help me to describe what love.

What I know is true love feels like but I think it's simple like when someone when you know someone's thinking of you, like I know that he's he's being thoughtful.

So like he just threw me my surprise, you know, birthday party.

And it was so cute because he goes, So we go out to the party and this is so simple.

I'm not I'm getting to but okay, I'm getting yeah, because so this is so minor.

But one I was not expecting it.

I was like at nice dinner with a couple of like you know, our friends or whatever.

But he goes to me, he says, you know, we get to I see everyone's faces.

I'm surprised.

I'm like, oh my gosh, this is so sweet, Like I was not expecting everyone to be there.

And he said, babe, I just want you to know.

You know, Tianna and Kim and you know this he said basically said that he made a note say like Nasa, like all your friends wanted to be here with they couldn't be here, but he made a point to be like this this this person, this person just so you know, so you're looking in this room, so you know, like they wanted to be here.

But it was like, how are you even thinking to say that to me?

Like you know, like because he knows me, yeah, you know, so it's like and it's his heart, like he I cannot move in this world without knowing, like he's not that.

I always know he's thinking of me.

He's thinking of us, like our unit, our family, Like I really wish I could put it into words, but it feels good to be thought of right, Like he doesn't do anything without including me, right, It's it's really deep, Like that's to me, Like that's what love should feel like.

You know.

It's like does he he includes me?

You know, and that's a great feeling, you know.

Or and he's really big on date nights.

You know, he get me in place like I gotta stay on telling my stuff, you know, because it's like babe, you know, I love when you get dressed up.

Well right, nope, taking on it say less like but because he will show up, like you know, so we talk about you know, the things, yeah, you know and like and that allows you to grow, you know.

Like, so we've had different phases where we're like doing a little like us check you know, and like the things that we're doing or the things that we have been doing as much of you know, something that I do love.

We learned from one of our from our pastors in our lives pastor Juda is we talked about this will you forgive me?

Thing?

So this is really hard to do.

So yeah, but sometimes you you know, if you know, you not sometimes that the rule is like if you were the person to cause the rift raff or the rift in a moment, you have to be able to ask will you forgive me?

And that is really like I'm stubborn.

So it's like that's hard.

It's hard, but it's it is important, right, and so you got to be the.

Way a person scenarios or you're just how does that go?

No, So like let me see, like if we had a disagreement but one of us caused the turn up recalls a turn of pass to be like will you forgive me?

You you made the other person upset?

Like you you did that?

Okay, now we got to own it and you got to say will you forgive me?

So like, and there's all things of like not going to bed mad, it says in the Bible.

Right, so we we have really we haven't had a night when we let's just say this, we haven't had a moment where we've even if we went to bed mad at some point by three am.

We backed, Okay, so you cannot you can't.

I'm not just like not saying I'm not saying three am like this, but just saying, at some point you address the issue, okay, Angie, Okay, you know after you do that chat and you might anyways.

No what I'm just saying though, you know, but you can't go to bed mad.

That's important too.

So there's these little things that I think are so significant.

And then communication, like it's everything.

You know, he's my best stren in life.

So you know, you got to be able to communicate even about the hardest things, the most uncomfortable things, like I feel blessed that we can do that.

So beautiful.

It made me a little teary today.

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We haven't an in real life bowl.

Okay to at least we only have a couple more minutes, right dig not look yeah whatever, They're just kind of like in real life questions.

Okay, what's one thing you hope never change is about you?

I would say my heart.

I don't ever want my heart to go cold.

Like I love loving and love loving and love joy, my joy.

That's the thing.

Like I would say my heart is one thing, but my joy.

I love laughing, I love dancing, I love smiling.

I just love joy.

I love good times.

That's probably like a bit of my Like when you talk about things you talked about earlier is like being delusional.

Sometimes I'm a little delulu about joy no meaning, Like I'm so focused on my joy that I'm missing how scary or how you know, uncertain or how blows?

Like, yeah, like I'm missing them sometimes because I'm so focused on the joy.

Like everything is good, it's like a big fire behind them, like just spould put the fire out.

Like that's kind of like my mentality.

We got fire hoses, we got.

We'll get that.

Yeah, Like you don't sit in the kind of negative down stuff.

You find joy to pull you out.

Joy all but my joy, and I do think that holistically, like your joy will impact you significantly.

So like I'm always like how fast and I get the joy if I need to.

That's that's the word for me today.

I'll take that.

I can a lot more joy this week.

Let's go find something alright, one more more more?

Okay?

So good at that?

This is made for you.

You're like, what is vulg girl?

Okay?

Is there a moment that made you believe in divine timing?

Of course your whole life?

Yeah, the beginning of my career for sure, how it all started.

You know, giving birth to my first barn was significant, you know, and all my babies, but obviously meeting the love of my life.

Do you smother child?

Are you a helicopter mom?

Partial?

Yeah, i'd i'd be up in the mix.

Yeah, I know it's gone on because this world is.

Crazy, because I already the world is crazy.

This world is like bananas, and so I think you gotta be we gotta be locked in even more now because the access is so high.

And my greatest fear is that the world tells my kid information that shapes them when I could be the one telling them, you know what I mean, Like because when kids start talking in school, maybe making up all kind of stuff, you know, telling me some story, I'm like, oh, and what else I'm like, and what they say like huh, and you gotta say calm, you know.

Sometimes you're like, wait, what, let me tell you how this goes, you know.

So it's like I think I feel really proud sometimes when you beat the world to telling your kids something.

I feel really proud of those moments, like having real conversations with them.

So you're just only empowering them, you're only armoring them for the world, right.

So beautiful.

Yeah, you're a good mommy.

I try, I try, I try.

I already know we had a voice note.

We have a new section where a sponsor Boots Mobile, we do these voice notes where we have our iro like either in the comments or on the YouTube page.

They send in notes for our guests.

So I think somebody sent you a note, A voice note.

Can we play that?

This is our Boots mobile voice note.

Acc My name is Amy and I am obsessed with you, so I'm so excited to ask you this question.

So I've been with my partner for six years.

Lately it feels like we're more like business partners and lovers, just paying bills and parenting.

How do you bring by joy when everything feels like a routine.

I feel like there was her name again?

What was her name?

Amy?

Amy?

I feel like Amy was listening to our conversation.

I know, Okay, listen, Amy girl.

Let me tell you something that is life, So do not freak out.

There's no need to panic.

Sometimes when you're in you know, your relationship and long term relationships and marriages, you can get a little monotonous.

And so my greatest thing is what I can share with you that I think is like worked for me and for us, is you guys should get together and talk about the things that you know.

I'm going to talk to you because I feel like I'm talking, but you should get together and talk about the things that you know you feel like are kind of falling flat on or like, you know, have an honest conversation.

I think you have to have honest conversations with each other about what you feel like is missing, and then you talk about ways to get to it.

Like sometimes you have to plan, don't just feel talk that way talking about that's the rule of life to me in general.

You got to get your thoughts out when you're really struggling with them, and then you put the plan together, right, you know, reminding yourself that things that you love doing together.

You know.

I think you have to put the effort in.

I think it's everything and carve out time for you guys.

That's something that we I feel like, do pretty well, you know, especially when you have kids, because I think she said she had kids, right, Yeah, sometimes it's hard like us, the mama strings in us, like you know, the kids they pull on those heart strings.

But then you're also like, if you don't take care of you guys, then that's going to pour into everything else and it's just not going to be good.

So I do really enjoy when you know, we get the time, we make time for ourselves.

I would like to encourage you amy to carve out time for you guys.

It could be a little weekend get away, even if it's a one night's stay like and commit yourself, recharge, put the phones away, make sure your babies are in good hands, and just like get wrapped up in you for a second, Like I think that's really important.

And then are the things that each other you say to each other, you know, think sometimes you can like address a moment in the moment, but then time passes by and you conform back to old ways.

Like I think we have to keep mental notes of what our partner says, you know, so that we remember them when we need them most, to show up for them and the best way possible.

So I try to do that, Like I try to make a conscious effort, like what did my honey say he doesn't like?

And what did he say he loves?

Like Okay, let's go Seecie, let's get it chel.

Yeah, you know, like it's yeah, you know you want to keep that, Like I say, the butterflies always search for the beginning.

Yeah, what about like as we wrap up and thinking about your life and your career and everything that's happening now, like what do you I don't.

Know, what do you?

What are you most proud of through this whole journey of this this since that thirteen year old girl made that wowboard.

I know that's a big question.

Yeah, one am I proud of.

I'm proud of the woman that I'm still becoming.

I'm proud of you know who have become to this point, and you know, I'm proud of.

Yeah, I'm proud of like where I am within myself internally, I'm proud of the journey as an entrepreneur, you know, Like I said, I mean literally it's twenty one years as I put on my album and I'm just starting to get to do some of the things that I listen, I've done a lot of what I dreamt of.

Let me not say that like I've been very blessed over the past two, you know, decades, But in reference to what the vision was from an entrepreneurial perspective and an ownership perspective, I'm very proud of how that journey is evolving for me and how I believe I'm growing in this space.

I feel really motivated, Like I feel really excited.

You know, they'll have that feeling.

Yeah, you know, my faith is so that.

Is still here.

I was just about to say, I'm very proud that my faith hasn't waivered through it all.

That's something I'm incredibly proud of because you have to have your faith, you know, especially when the world feels heavy on your shoulders and when you feel like the no resonates louder than the yes, you have to double down on your faith and just keep believing in yourself and like believing in what you've always believed since you were a little girl, since I was a little girl.

Like it all goes back to that little girl dreaming so big.

After remind myself, like this is all a part of the dream.

So like, keep your faith and just trust, like if you do the work, one plus one will equal three.

Do the work, you know.

So I'm proud of that.

I'm proud of the faith.

Yeah, and I'm just I'm just I don't know, I'm just grateful, Like I I'm so so grateful to be where I am in my life right now because I know God is working and I just want to be a good steward of what God has given me, you know.

So I'm very very I don't know, I'm very proud of Yeah, all of that.

Yeah, it's a lot, it's really good.

The last question, it's a question in that ball that didn't come up.

But I'm going to ask you, is if God because you talk about what you're proud of and serving him, but like, what do you what do you think he would say?

There's a bowl in there a question that says, if God were to text you.

Right now, Oh, you asked me this last time, I think actually.

I'm curious where you're at right now.

I think you pulled it from the ball.

I did.

That's what I'm saying.

But I'm curious today, if you were to get a text from God today, what would it say?

A text on God is saying, He's just saying like just whatever.

What would he say?

What would his message to you be the last I heard be saying to you today?

I think he would tell me, because I'm believing it.

God would tell me I'm very proud you're you're embracing this new era of your life.

He was, I'm very proud of you for embracing this.

No, I think his voice would be way like it would be like full but like also like heavenly.

You know, it would sound like when he speaks.

But I think he would definitely say I'm very proud of you for embracing this.

This forty club this era and he he would tell me grows about the your best season.

Yeh yeah, real life everybody, that's how you are your best era yet.

This is era in real life.

Hey guys, thanks for watching.

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