Have you ever noticed at the moment that you start to succeed, grow ?

You kind of end up in the same place again.

In this episode, we're gonna talk about how to identify and process.

There's a grief that shows up in your identity.

Release, the fear and how to feel safe becoming someone who truly thrives without holding back.

This episode is gonna be perfect for you if you feel like you're stuck.

And a survival or struggling mindset, even though you know you're capable of more, you notice resistance or fear.

You're ready to outgrow the old you and step into a version of yourself that thrives financially, emotionally, and in life.

So let's get to it.

This is Money Simplified, the podcast where I help female entrepreneurs go from stress and struggle to unstoppable with money.

Money is more than just budgeting and p and Ls, and we're gonna take you through all of it here.

We blend proven financial strategy with mindset work and energetic alignment, so you can create unstop.

Finances, build an unstoppable business and truly enjoy your unstoppable life.

It's time to take my wisdom and my expertise to help you simplify money and go beyond the numbers.

I'm your host, Aimee Cerka.

Welcome.

I'm so glad you're here.

Welcome back to Money Simplified.

I'm your host, Aimee Cerka.

Today we're talking about something that often goes unnoticed and unspoken.

There's a grief, a fear, and uncertainty that shows up and comes up when you outgrow the old version of yourself.

Whether we're talking about money.

Business or life.

Here's the thing though, we don't even realize half the time that we have tied our identity to this.

Survival mode to this struggle, to this.

Staying small, it almost becomes like a badge of honor, or it just feels like this is the theme for your life.

Okay?

And this identity that you're holding onto can keep you stuck, even if you're like, logically, I'm ready for this.

I'm ready for more.

I'm ready.

To do this thing.

I'm ready to have this business.

I'm ready to have the audience.

I'm ready to have the attention.

I'm ready to have the sales, I'm ready to have the clients.

You can logically say those things, but not actually embody it, and that's where we can get stuck in the old identity or holding on to old identities.

Okay.

Let's give a couple examples.

So maybe.

You have this need to have your parents love you, that it was a struggle.

And before we get any farther, this is not about bashing anybody's parents.

Like it's what you do with those things.

And then the other part of that is it's not what actually happened.

It's your perception.

Your perception is reality for you.

So what are you gonna do with the perception?

Okay, not about PA passing off guilt, or, I'm sorry, not about passing off blame.

We're looking at this, having the information to move forward.

Okay?

So maybe you didn't feel like you were loved or worthy of feeling loved or worthy of attention growing up from your parents, but you needed them financially and because you needed them financially, you received attention.

So now we have this identity that I can't be self-sufficient financially because what does my relationship look like if I don't need my spouse for money?

Maybe it's not your spouse, maybe it's your parents, whatever it might be.

Maybe we made choices that.

We don't necessarily feel are the right choices.

We made investments in programs and we're hiding the finances.

We're hiding those expenses.

We're hiding that debt from our spouse.

They don't know.

I don't want to tell 'em.

Why don't we wanna tell them?

Because we were wrong.

We feel like we failed.

Where does that story, that identity come from?

Often our childhood.

Is it logical?

Not really.

So I've got a couple questions for you here.

If you're like, oh crap, that could be you, and there's so many more.

We're gonna put together a live workshop, um, here probably next month.

So we're gonna be able to dive into some of these.

I've also got a resource for you here at the end that's like, Hey, I want help now because who wants to wait?

So grab a pen and paper.

This is probably also something to write down to come back to.

So if you succeed, who or what do you fear you'll lose?

What will you lose if you succeed?

I, I spent some time thinking on that.

The second question I want you to reflect on is who are you becoming?

Do you?

Is there shame?

Is there guilt?

Does it feel wrong with the person that you want to become?

Again, logically, you know, this is what you want, but we're not talking about a logical aspect here.

If your parents said, rich people are bad growing up, they gave off that vibe.

We've got media and all those on a lot of other avenues that perpetrate that, right?

But if you feel like you're gonna become air quotes bad person, if you're successful.

And the way that you wanna be successful, we've gotta shift that identity.

Okay.

This is a deeper concept, but it really felt like I was supposed to cover it on the podcast today.

So we're gonna do this.

I want you to know though the realization that could be showing up for you right now and the grief that can show up with knowing that you've self-sabotaged yourself for years.

And years.

That can be hard.

And if you are feeling that, I want you to know you're not alone.

It's normal.

You're okay.

It's a necessary part of growth.

If you hadn't had all the experiences that you've had up until this point, you would not be where you're at now.

And the beautiful thing that with these identities, you can try on something new now.

The way that I see these is it.

It's a role that you're playing.

Okay?

So you've stepped into this role, and because it's a role, you can choose to step into a different role.

I'm gonna do a whole series on this.

I think it's gonna be ready soon, but you can step into a different role.

Don't beat yourself up.

No guilt, no shame.

That doesn't do us any good.

Just choose something different, okay?

And we're gonna make the choice now.

You don't have to choose the opposite though.

Okay.

So if you felt like you had to struggle, if you felt like you had to have, we'll stick with that.

If you felt like it had to be a struggle for you, that things couldn't come easy, you don't have to say, oh, it's gonna be easy.

Now that's a big jump.

What if for now we just tried on?

It doesn't have to be a struggle.

Small steps, new identity.

Make the choice now that things can be different, that you don't have to have the fear when we make those choices.

Again, this is like the logical part.

We're anchoring in beliefs and then we'll do, um, I highly recommend nervous sense.

I highly recommend nervous system regulation work.

You know, EFT tapping breath work, um, are the two main ones that I work with.

I know there's more modalities out there or more tools out there.

Because again, we're not necessarily operating from the logical perspective, so we can't fix this at just the logical level.

Okay?

Here's the key.

Make the choice now, right?

Choose it now.

It can change.

Now make the choice in the moment that it changes, but that doesn't mean that we don't like.

It's always gonna be great.

And if you fall bandwagon again, I want you to choose again.

Just choose yourself again.

Choose the version of you that you wanna be.

Don't beat yourself up.

We're gonna have compassion 'cause we're on a journey, right?

Choose yourself, and if you've gotta choose the new identity every 10 minutes, then do it.

And then maybe it'll be 20 minutes, and then maybe it'll be an hour, and then maybe it'll be every couple days, we're going to build that muscle until it's the norm.

If you're thinking, okay, maybe I do have money patterns, it feels like it's always been a struggle for me.

And if you've listened, if you've been around for a while and you know my story, you know that was mine.

It is part of the tagline here of what I do to help you go from struggle to untoppable, but it doesn't have to be a struggle anymore.

But I did hold onto that identity for a long time, and there's new areas that I uncover it.

It's continuing work, but the key is not beating yourself up over it.

So if you have this thing that came to mind, this challenge that's going on in your business, in your finances, in your relationships, in your health, you thought about that one, your health, you just, that doesn't work for me.

I don't lose weight like that doesn't come easy for me.

Those things are patterns.

That might be keeping you in survival mode.

So if you're doing all the right things, all the step-by-step that they're telling you, you've got the mindset work, you've done the things and it's not working, then I've got a resource for you just released a money clarity audit.

What this is, is it's a simple form that you complete.

I record a personalized video audit for you.

We break down financial habits, patterns and blocks show you exactly where you can take action to move past that money block think of it almost like a mini coaching session just for you, helping you move past fear, guilt, or old survival habits so you can finally feel confident and aligned in your finances and your business and that growth that you deserve.

So go to Aimee Cerka.com/clarity to get your money Clarity audit.

It's time that you step into the version of yourself that thrive.

Remember, you're not behind, you're not broken, and you're definitely not alone.

You're building something real and that takes courage.

So keep going.

You're doing better than you think.

We're doing this the unstoppable way.

We'll see you next time.

Thank you so much for listening to Money Simplified.

My favorite place to hang out is on Instagram.

You can find me at Aimee Cerka to catch all the behind the scenes of my stories.

Send me a message to share your biggest takeaway or just to say hi.

I love hearing from podcast list.

Nurse, when you're ready to take action on your mindset, your money, or the systems behind it all, I'm here for you.

Whether you're snagging a free resource, exploring a mini course, diving into the fundamentals with Money Mastery Academy, getting in-depth support inside the unstoppable experience, or scheduling a complimentary bookkeeping consult to finally get hands on help with your books.

Your next step is waiting for you, Aimee Cerka.com/podcast links has all the information, and of course, that link is hanging out in the show notes for you.

We'll see you next time.