The ninety three x Half Assed Morning Show three Straike Wood Chuck Chuckers, it's groundhog Day.

Hold out, well, it's groundhog Day again.

You got energy, that's groundhog Day energy cleavage.

When it first pops out, like late March, early April, it's almost like Groundhog's Day.

It's like, ah, it's gonna be an early spring.

The big question on everybody's lists theah their chap lip on their chap lip, right lips?

Do you think Phil is gonna come out and see a shadow showdown?

Oh?

Sure?

The old, the old groundhog Day gimmick.

Huh.

Love the movie.

Oh, it's so good.

Never cared for the actual bit, you know, where an animal is drugged and physically abused for our entertainment.

I never really got into that.

I didn't either outside of the movie.

It's the only reason I pay attention.

Did it die one time in the guy's hands when they yanked it out of the cage or whatever the hell they have it in?

Yeah?

Was that true?

I've heard that before?

Yerrible.

Yeah, like the head just popped off, literally, he just died in the guy's hands.

Back years ago, that Puck Satani Phil the famous groundhog back in the day.

The entire town killed him and ate him.

It is real dark right when it first started.

They killed him and then they ate him up.

Grilled him up, and had dinner.

They didn't even cook him.

They bathed in its blood, used as war paint on their faces.

Yeah, after he gave his weak little weather forecast, they just clubbed him to death and ate him.

That's a true story.

Well, anyways, Welcome to the friggin program.

Ninety three acts, half assed Bonnus show.

It's Monday.

Everybody psyched, beyond excited.

Somebody was smoking ganj back to this Puck Satani Phil character.

Somebody was the social media people over the weekend.

I think they were, as my buddy Todd once accidentally said, I think they were smoking Kwief over the weekend.

Josh, did he mean that or is that a joke?

I love that story.

My old buddy Todd, hard drinking, hard living some bitch.

That's how this is how Todd talks.

Right here, He's a he's a former iron worker.

Todd got a mustache.

Oh yeah, he's intimidating.

Drink's a case of Budweiser every day.

Uh sounds cool.

He is pretty cool when he was younger, you know, he just he would drink himself bananas right and in the morning he'd get right into the coffee, a lot of coffee, cigarettes and coffee.

He would get him going right because he'd be so brutally hungover.

So we'd get into cigarettes and coffee right away, and every minute that went by, he'd be talking even faster, faster and faster and faster from the caffeine and the nick dee.

And one morning we're all sitting together up Josh, you're headed to this neighborhood over the weekend.

We were up on Round Lake nice, Yeah, and Todd's sitting there.

He'd liked to be the center of attention.

And we're all sitting in a circle in the morning, everyone hungover, and Todd's telling stories, and he's talking stories about smoking pot when he was a kid.

And the problem was he gets to talking so fast that words start to get mangled.

So he says this one morning, Yeah, back in high school, we were sitting around smoking quef and my buddy Donnie walks up to me and everyone said, hang on second, roll that did you did you just say you were smoking queif?

I bet you could bond queif we were sitting.

Around it, we were smoking, smoking quif he meant to say geef, that's great, but it came.

So it wasn't.

Actually it wasn't because I got a buddy who would screw up words all the time and had no idea.

No, Tod just talked too fast.

He got too excited, too many cigarettes, too much coffee.

I think that's part of his intimidation.

You remember Todd.

Yeah, we went to a couple of edgefests with Todd.

Was he there, Yeah, I don't recall.

Yeah, that's where I first met him.

He always seemed well.

The times I'm totally out of his mind.

I wasn't gonna say that, but angry.

Oh yeah, yeah, he always And the way you described the way he talked is exactly how I remember him.

Yeah, he was out of his mind.

I saw him a few months ago for the first time years.

Nothing's changed anyway.

I think over the weekend a lot of the social media people were high because they came up with this.

Now, I think, knowing that we were on the verge of groundhog Day or ground Hog's Day, I'm not sure which is the legit way to say it.

The social media people came up with a random poll which holiday character would win if they all cut loose into a free for all fight to the death.

If Crampis counts, that's who My money's Oh yeah, a good one.

I mean I think Crampus should count.

Wow.

See no one here said Dick Tracy about Crampis.

They're all on quef, A lot of the young people on smoking quief.

I you could have let me sit here for ten twelve hours.

I wouldn't have come up with Crampis.

That's brilliant.

And Josh, Crampis is some kind of a Swedish killer bear that eats children and things like that.

Am I close trying to remember the story of Crampis, you're in the wheelhouse.

I never want to come up with that.

So again, which Holiday character would win if they all took part in a free for all fight to the death?

Feel free to throw yours our way if you have an idea six fine ninety three ninety three, that's our luthor Bloomington, Kia text line.

Wasn't the Leprechaun from South Park kind of a Dick Imagination episode?

I mean, it wasn't that long ago.

I watched the imagination Land episode I don't remember the Leprechaun.

A leprechaun or the Leprechaun is mentioned in here.

The number one answer is sen close.

Well, if you listen on one Weird Al song the night Sand went crazy, he uh, he got some guns out and he barbecued, blitz in and he did all sorts of things.

So that's right he did, didn't he?

Yeah, he did, so he.

If you listen to weird Al, which you should, and you believe in weird Al, which you should, you should know that Sand's got an insight to him.

He can get a little pissed off at times.

Oh here's a good one of holiday.

Uh.

You know folks that would win in a fight, Jesus Turkey.

But McGee says, Jesus, Yeah, he is all powerful.

I bet he could make some stuff happen if he wanted to.

We're counting Jesus Christ into this.

Why Wow?

Where and when's he gonna make that return?

He's been talking about it for a while.

Jesus crime, and he'd talk about milking and I'm.

Kidding, will he won't he?

We've been dealing with this for over two thousand years.

Two thousand, he says, all right, Santa Claus, Okay, the character that you explained from the weird al song sounds terrifying, but regular Santa, Yeah.

He's just like a fat jolly man.

I was thinking like the Easter Bunny, mostly because I have like a bunch of creepy pictures from when I was a child or my mom took me to see the Easter Bunny and that thing looked terrifying, the mall Easter Bunny, oh watching it.

Yeah, I have some photos of me back in the day too, actually where it's just creepy as all hell.

Yeah, like those eyes, something about the eyes.

There was really no way to stuff a human being in a bunny costume and make it look anything other than terrifying, right, Yeah, for all of us.

Like Nick, we don't have photos when we were kids, but I do remember going to see the Easter Bunny at Southdale, That's where they take us to see all the holiday festivities, right, and I remember him smelling like a hobo and yeah, not being in much of a good mood.

Do they still do that whole Easter Bunny.

Then cheap whiskey on his breath?

Probably?

I don't know A good question.

Yeah, I haven't seen it.

Christ Almighty.

When we used to go see our grandparents when we were little kids, some grown person in my grandma and grandpa's hometown, some grown person on Easter Sunday would put on a bunny costume and hop down the sidewalk.

And as a little kid, that was thrilling, right because we pull into town and my dad would say, well, there are the sum bitches right there, and we as kids will be like, oh my god, the eighth their buddy.

Do you think he knows that we're driving into town?

But as an adult, I think, who the hell was that guy?

Yeah, I completely blocked this out of my memory.

But after it was like the year COVID, So I think that's why I never brought it up.

I was living in Bayport and the same thing happened.

There was just like a grown man in an Easter bunny costume walking around the neighborhood, and I thought, that guy is a serial killing.

Somebody's gonna die in Yeah, community service.

Maybe he isn't funny g p is p Jesus says the easy answer for holiday character tough guy John McLean.

Yeah, that is a holiday character.

Isn't he See That's the thing is, we could go in so many different directions here.

Now we'd have to settle in and have an argument over who's a holiday character and who is not.

That I don't think any must care enough to do that.

So Americans were asked which holiday character would win in a fight to the death if they all went at it at once.

The majority of people went with Santa Claus Chris Kringle.

So, since I mentioned that weird al song, I pulled the lyrics.

I just want to read a little passage from the book of weird al Well.

The workshop is gone now.

He decided to vomit everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet.

And he tied up his helpers and held the elves hostage, and he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage.

Weird al Is is immortal.

You got darkened that one in a very funny way.

You're right.

A lot of folks say that Cupid, who comes from Valentine's Day, he would win this all out holiday character fight to the death.

I'm guessing because he's armed.

Yeah, he comes equipped.

He's good at archery.

Somebody text in and said Cupid would be a good one because love makes you do crazy things.

Sure mm hmm, I love Cupid.

That's so adorable.

He's pretty cute.

Little diaper.

Yeah, I guess he's not all intimidating.

The the archery stuff is one thing, but he's he's als wearing a diaper.

That's how he gets you.

Yeah, he lows the into a like a sense of security and.

They get both through the eye.

It's an adult diper.

It wouldn't be a boat.

Well, yeah, he could probably hit you with the but.

It's an adult diaper because he he's very sick.

You didn't know that.

Yes, he loves he's love sick.

He can't help but urinate and defecate himself, so they had to put an adult Uh.

Now, this leprecaun is mentioned.

He represents I'll get there Sat Patrick's Day.

I don't know why a tiny little leprechaun would be the pick to win this holiday character fight to the death.

Some people gave their opinion like this.

They said, never underestimate the Irish.

Maybe it's because those horror movies from back in the eighties.

I never saw one of those.

They look pretty stupid.

I ever saw it.

I only know it from Wayne's World when Wayne would intimidate Garth by doing I'm the Leprecaun, and Garth would be very terrified.

I don't like the vibe they give.

They do kind of scare me.

They seem scrappy and suspicious.

Some one of those random facts I have my brain for no reason whatsoever.

But I think one of Jennifer Andison's first roles in acting was one like Leprechaun three or something like that.

Yeah, it was one of the Leprechaun movies.

God, I saw a movie the other day.

Oh God, it was terrible.

I think it may have been you guys love that Keanu Reeves, John Wick.

I think it may have been his first starring role.

It was so bad.

Eighty six.

Same year he was in another awful movie, young Blood, the hockey movie with Rob low.

I wanted to wait.

That's so bad.

My parents wouldn't let me.

Eighty six it was.

Called One Step Away, No.

The Brotherhood of Justice.

And maybe it was a TV movie.

Maybe it was in a motion picture you saw in the theater.

Oh, yeah, I found it.

Oh it was so so, so, so so bad.

Anyway, let's not get off track.

I'm sorry, I'm still battling something here.

I'm going to interrupt myself a lot with my Smoker's hack again.

Holiday characters, which one would win if they were all in a free for all fight to the death.

So you got your Santa Claus, your Cupid, your Leprechaun.

The next that folks mentioned is pop Satani Phil the Groundhog, who represents Groundhog Day.

And then this is the one that threw me, the tooth Fairy.

Which holiday does she represent?

Yeah, it's not a holiday, it's not a holiday.

They kind of again, they're high on that quief.

But I always did wonder once I got a little older as a kid, what's she doing with all these teeth?

That's awful creepy.

Yeah, you're right, it's odd.

Why does make it jewelry?

See?

Someone texted in and said the Grim Reaper?

He doesn't Does he represent a holiday?

Is that Halloween?

Halloween?

Yeah?

Does he represent Halloween?

I guess I've seen people dressed as the Grim Reaper for Halloween.

I mean, yeah, if it's Halloween, then shoot, there's a ton there.

Yeah.

Others went with Uncle Sam.

Yeah, you know, we got a couple of text on Uncle Sam.

He's a badass.

Who he's straight out of Independence Day, Tom Turkey for Thanksgiving.

I'm not terribly afraid.

To choke on a wishbone or something.

I'm not terribly afraid of a turkey.

Father Time.

You can't beat father Time.

I'm kind of afraid of just the turkeys in general.

They gotta freak me out when they're out and about in my front eyard.

No one wants to, you know, like walk up and hug a wild turkey, but mess you up.

Would you throw a twenty down and bet on it to win a brawl me.

Versus the turkey, or the turkey versus.

Other any fight that you can come up with.

I guess it depends who it's facing, because if it was me, the turkey would win.

The answer is I would give up, I would lay down.

I can see why punks of Tony Phil might be kind of a wild card in this situation, because they do get the guy up in the basically the middle of the night.

And who who wants to get woken up and dragged out of bed and held up for people to see.

I'd be a pissed off groundhog too.

Don't wake Dana.

Yeah, so we're talking holiday characters.

I got a I got one for you.

I know my pick.

If we're talking holiday characters, how about the dude who plays along with No Nut November.

We've done that before.

I bet that poor bastard is dangerous.

Yeah right, yeah, once.

You approach December, it's trouble.

Yeah, he hasn't.

He hasn't torn one off in weeks.

You don't.

You don't look at that guy the wrong way in public.

You gotta get the poison out.

The dude who's playing along with No Nut November takes all of these other bitches out.

I haven't heard people talk about that no one.

Yeah, I'm kind of glad that thing died down a little bit.

Or National Masturbation Monk, which is coming up.

I think that's in May.

Oh, is it?

I think?

So let's all celebrate together early.

Yeah.

Right, now, there you go.

That's the conversation that was happening couple of days ago on the godless soul lists and wildly misinformed social media.

That's good.

I was having a bad morning and now it's changed.

Or I thought today was l Pastor eve.

I thought chicken l Pastor at Chipotle was coming back tomorrow.

Turns out that's not until the tent.

I was looking forward.

I was texting people last week.

I didn't understand a word you said.

But you know what, there's a lot of heart behind what you're saying.

You know it is it's passionate about Chipotle a week away?

Now, I know, not cool?

Tell me about this.

So it's like, you know, a limited menu item.

They tease us with it just for a short amount.

Of time over there at Chipotle.

Yeah, and I'm a fan.

They bring it back kind of like they do the mcarea back McDonald's exact, and people get really really excited when.

It's come when it comes back.

And I got a couple of buddies who feel the same as me, and I told them, Dude, this week we got to hit up Chipotle at least once.

And then I looked it up today and I was off, it's till the tenth.

Well, maybe you go there today and you kind of just start tailgating, waiting in line four the tenth when it comes out?

Why do not to talk about holiday characters who could beat each other up?

We could have a conversation about that as we wait in line for an entire week.

Yeah, you're just waiting in line like, oh, no, go ahead, I've got days here.

I like flavored chicken, but I'm not doing that.

Yeah, no, I know, I've never never heard of this movement.

The l pastor chicken.

Well, you got to be in the Chipotle community, I guess to get very good.

Reminds me of Chris Griffin when he's showing Stewie like his very detailed porn stash and he goes, yeah, people in the community like it when you have things organized that right, I remember that, goes I'm kind of weird it out that you keep calling it the community.

That What was the line both of us like nicked something about the Eiffel top.

I can't remember what it was where his lowest knocks on his bedroom door and he's like masturbating or something like that in there.

It was not too long ago.

Is maybe last season they had this line that was so good.

I don't know.

Oh, it's killing me.

You brought it up before too, I.

Don't call dang it.

I like the Anne hash joke.

That's a great joke.

But didn't she die terribly or something?

Oh yeah, oh I forgot about that anyway.

They made the joke first though, Yes, they did.

Oh, there you go.

So you're saying that you were waiting on some Chipotle sandwich.

You thought it was going to be this week, but you gotta wait another week.

Yeah, I thought I was looking forward to it.

I thought, sorry, I thought today was al Pastor Eve.

I'm sorry.

Not What was the point of even waking up today now?

Exactly?

Ashley, just knock me out until next week.

Freeze yourself like Cartman, he was waiting for the Nintendo Wee to come out.

Would he put himself in a coma or whatever?

Yeah?

No, he went into like the into the deep woods and froze himself so that he could didn't have to physically wait until the Nintendo week came out.

That was a good episode.

Mm hmm.

I'll tell you what.

What else is going on?

How was your weekend?

Everybody good?

It's good.

I went to the Loose the Windy City.

Yeah, what'd you do up there?

We just hung out for the weekend.

We stayed at an Airbnb and uh it was actually we usually like hotels, but we saw this one.

We saw to roll the dice.

It was in a mansion actually, it's called the Cotton Mansion, and they kind of practition it off into different Airbnb units and stuff, and it was a good time.

We had some neighbors across the hall that were really getting into it all week and long.

Oh yeah, you could hear it.

Yeah.

See, that's why I don't like stay I like, if I stay in at an Airbnb, I want to be all alone.

Right, But I mean it was across the hall.

I mean, we didn't have to see each other, but we could hear it from inside, and we thought, all right, this woman is she's doing a performance art here, Like there's no way she wants everybody to know that they're the couple that's having sex right now type of thing.

You know, she's been so loud as like a Sasha Gray tribute band.

Did it make you feel insignificant?

No?

Not really, because I thought she must be faking this, She must be doing it over the top just to get people to notice.

But then, because like I said, it was in this mansion, you were supposed to leave your shoes outside of you know, your doorway, not wear them into the actual unit.

Big nuts.

Jesus just texted the show and said it wasn't fake.

He was in.

But no, that's the thing we realized it probably wasn't fake because the next morning, when we left to go and get breakfast, we saw their shoes sitting outside.

The dude was wearing like size sixteen's like he must have really had had a cooking there.

For dude, I would have like absolutely had to figure out what they looked like.

That would be my mission all weekend.

We do these people.

We did regret never like kind of counter or you know, kind of passing them, buying the hallways, kind of get a look of you know, what was going on exactly?

Actually right, I.

Just try to win.

I can beat that.

We challenge you to a bang off.

I don't know what it is about, Like hotels and Airbnb's the good people horny they do.

Maybe you're out of your element element and think I'm gonna christen this place.

And Josh I sent you that picture of this place we stayed at.

The airbnb had the ultimate cup chair.

I'm like anything I've ever seen before that was definitely a that was absolutely a cup chair.

So they had a jacuzzi in the unit.

It kind of like similar to the jacuzzis in Turtle Lake or Turtle Island where you guys had your infamous.

Hot tub pot luck party.

You remember that.

Oh yeah, the nice little turtle, Yeah turtlea like yeah, huhuh.

A jacuzzie in the room.

And then right directly facing the jacuzzi was just this one person leather bound chair where you could just looking directly at the jacuzzi.

It was creepy, it was It made no sense why it was sitting in there.

I know it makes sense.

Because it was a cup chair.

You had a good time, Yeah, it's good.

It's always a good time with thanks for the rocks stand rocks.

Yeah, we were shopping around.

We saw that they had some aggos you could fill up in a little baggy, and we thought Ashley, so we got some maggots.

That is one of my favorite places.

All right, Nick, more anxiety than here.

Jesus said the line from Chris where he gets caught masturbating, and Lois says, when did you get a souvenir of the Washington Monument?

Oh?

Yeah, I had the wrong monument.

Oh that's right, boy.

I haven't watched that television program in a long long time.

I've kept it's pretty hit or missing.

Yeah, it's one of those shows you can tell that like Seth McFarland and the writers are just thinking, can you please cancel us?

I liked the Christmas edition one that just happened.

That was great.

Well, looky here, we're ready to fire up another work week along with our wonderful listening audience, the brother and the damn sister Hood.

Thanks for joining us.

I think our next stop will be the Stupid News Report.

We'll get to that quicker than quick.

We appreciate you hanging out with us.

We'll be right back on the half ass Morning Show.

Stupid News on the half assed Morning Show.

Oh a christ, hang on to something, Josh, we got a piste off snow plowed driver to deal with.

Oh that's not good.

Wield a lot of power.

Oh they'll A pissed off snowplow driver has the potential to knock a lot of d's in the dirt if you don't get a handle on the sum bitch.

Luckily, this year short circuited snowplow driver does not have a route around these parts.

This dude comes from Philadelphia, and there's videos going round and round where this snowplow driver who worked for the city, he deliberately plowed piles and piles of snow.

Excuse me, he deliberately piled snow all over parked motor vehicles after a big snowstorm had hit town.

That's gotta be tempting.

Yeah, it does sound like it'd be a blast, and it seemed like he did have a blast.

As a matter of fact, Apparently this dude had some kind of an emotional blow up, some type of pant wedding, so he upped and pushed heavy, heavy snow from a recent storm, pressed it up against parked cars, making sure nobody was going to be able to drive those vehicles out of there.

So listen to him as he goes.

He's videotaping it, or maybe it's from the dash cam.

I can't remember, but he's sounds like it's a combination of having a great time and losing his mind all at once.

Have your car looked like this?

Just go ahead?

Backing out?

Is going out?

I ain't no need for you to be outside the day.

If I can't drive you diet.

Happy snow day.

That's half that laugh is scary.

Ye kind of made me think of the Heath Ledgers joker, you know, just terrorizing people just because it's fun for him.

Did look fun?

This guy snapped, how.

Those people probably don't have to go to work.

Can you imagine explaining that, like, my car's buried.

I don't know what to tell you, Ashley.

What if I was visiting my favorite side piece and her husband, her husband's do home any minute?

What do I do?

Just run?

Yeah, you run?

I leave my car there and just run.

You bury it further and get out of there, grab it right on the bus.

The evil laugh does make that audio.

You're right, Josh, I can't tell.

It's like, Okay, he's mad.

Wait, no, he's happy.

No, he's mad.

That's probably what a psychic psychotic break does.

Right.

Just you're back and forth.

People, the owners of these motor vehicles are out on the sidewalks watching this man completely bill will by his behavior.

What if you were like about to get in your car.

This just happens right in front of you.

Or you're in it, you're just about to pull out?

Why?

Why as you're just about to pull out, As you're heard in the audio, dude hollers if I can't drive, you bitches can't drive?

You're currently driving?

Yeah, I don't know what he means by that.

He means his own.

Car it's a bad mood.

He's got a plow happy snow day mother efforts.

We tearing this up, he said.

The city of Philadelphia, where this whack bag now used to work, Josh, they called his behavior unacceptable.

Yeah, I would agree with that.

That's an okay way to go out, though at least he had some fun beforehand.

That's not right.

Look like a blast.

Well I like it first, like his boss is like, hey, you know what, they're getting complaints.

This happened sometimes in the process of clearing the streets.

Sometimes there's nothing we can do, and then he's showing the video.

It's like, oh, oh yeah, okay, yeah, that's a lot different than just a normal process of plowing a street.

All right, that guy's all done.

Oh we speaking of clearing snow.

And I love this bit local folks doing a nude calendar.

Someone has to help me out.

Where the hell was that one town here in Minnesota or Wisconsin with the campground that sent us their new their news.

What happened to that calendar?

I thought, I'm not sure it used to be somebody snatched it out of our studio.

Like all the other porn and sex toys that get stolen by other people.

If anyone can remember, uh.

For the last two years, this bar camp ground sent us their nude calendar that they used to raise money for folks in their neighborhood with cancer.

It was so funny and so well done, and I appreciated so much that they sent the calendars our way so we could plug them a little bit.

I can't think of the name of the joint, darn it, but I do love someone will text him six nine eight nine, go ahead, somebody.

Ninety three, ninety three.

It was very clever how they covered up the good parts.

Oh, I know, it was brilliant.

And just like the variety of body types men, women, everything was hilarious.

And some foxy ladies in that Mazeppa that sounds right, zumbro falls, that sounds right.

We're gonna get there, I know we will anyway until we get that answer.

Last winter, in a town called Lakeview, Oregon, they couldn't afford to clear snow from the roads in that area, but rather than make everyone pay higher taxes, community leaders found twelve local volunteers to pose for a nude calendar, and they're using the money from that calendar to pay plow drivers to clear their roads.

They raised thirteen grand.

I don't know if that's going to cut it.

Max Place, Ah, yeah, yep, Max Park Place campground in Mazeppa.

Thank you.

I knew somebody would get it right.

And thank you to those folks again.

Sorry, I forgot.

Do we have pictures up on our website of these naked people in Oregon in the process?

Okay, I don't really remember.

I'm sure they I didn't.

I mean I didn't look very thoroughly at their naked pictures, but I'm guessing they did.

Like what you describe, Josh, they have clever ways to cover up their genitalia.

Yea.

You know, the gals carrying a couple of jugs of milk.

The guy has a I don't know, rolled up newspaper in front of his Johnson or something.

One guy he's got a big piece of lumber in front of his private part.

There you go, but this is a cute gibbet Ashley holler at us when you get those pictures up on our website.

They were able to raise thirteen grand.

Again, I don't know if that's gonna help plow their roads for the entire winter in Lakeview, Oregon, but damn impressive.

We need money around here.

Should we do a nude.

Calendar, I'll take the pictures.

All the monies we raise could go towards new broadcast equipment so our listeners don't have to listen to a scream through these Fisher Price microphones that we work with in our garbage studios.

It would benefit the quality of the show, it.

Would, that's for sure.

They keep promising they're going to update it around here.

When I got to hire here about five years ago, they said new equipment is on the way, so it's got to be any day now.

Well, yeah, they I was just told last week it's coming and something they called Q two.

I'll have to look up with that, mes.

It's never gonna happen.

This is as good as it's ever going to get.

So the four of us would get naked.

Then we would get Shaver, Brad Ryder, see Willie Miles, Janelle, Doctor p Doctor Andrea, Marcus Spellino, Glenn Perkins.

That makes twelve different nude models right there, one for every month.

We could just.

Have Marcus and people would pay for it.

I'm with you on this, let's just only have him in that.

Well, no, I think he should be February because it's his shortest month, and I definitely should be one where there's thirty one days in the month like January that you want people to so people get a couple extra days with me.

And in my discussing naked body, well.

Can you take a picture when you're sleeping?

You mentioned you'd like to sleep naked?

I do.

Andrew Deepowela might feel left out, but he'll get over it.

Yeah, guy didn't even make the Pro Bowl.

Maybe there could be a combo, you know, he could be a part of another month with somebody else.

Yeah, like an athlete's a month or something.

I mean, we've got enough characters to fill out an entire year, an entire calendar year.

What are the months of the year again, Josh.

Well, there's January, February.

I already lost the March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December.

Those are the months.

Of the year.

God rest the soul of don't tell me Meani Kevin mean.

Joe's pictures are up on ninety three x dot com.

Now, by the way, from the calendar.

The Oregon Naked Calendar, yep, Josh Q two means quarter two of the year April to June.

I don't think it doesn't sound right.

Oh No, have to go back to the drawing board on that one.

Oh nope, they're right, that's what it means.

January February.

Good God, that guy's so good.

March April.

All right, think more about that naked calendar.

I think we could rake in some big bucks.

This next lunatic that I'm here to tell you about.

Oh, he comes from the awful Southern United States.

He's up to thirty two years old.

Now.

He goes by the very interesting name of Alexander Baker Depew depewpw.

Never heard that name in real life.

Oh actually, I was thinking lop you Peppy Lopew.

So that's even different.

So I've never heard the name period.

Think about it.

So Alexander, he loves chicks, loves chicks.

As a matter of fact, there's a stripper in town that he loves.

He loves her so much that he decided to buy a bouquet of flowers and some chocolates for her.

That's sweet.

I think that's pretty creepy.

You don't think that's creepy, Ashley, I.

Guess it depends on their relationship.

Oh, I'm sure the stripper wasn't concerned at all when she found that out that one of her customers was showing up with chocolates and a bouquet of flowers.

Yeah, you're right.

Maybe they have a closeness.

We're not away.

We don't.

Yeah, I'd imagine they don't.

They don't.

My guess is they do not.

I was at Hooters recently and would seem to be sometime a regular showed up bearing gifts for some of the waitresses in which he must get served on served by on a regular cagu.

Depends on the edge.

Was this on a Sunday?

No, it was a Friday afternoon.

Place was dead.

He showed up in a full suit, had a bunch of gifts and was giving them to all the ladies, and they seemed to know him, assuming and he was some sort of regular, and it was awkward just to watch from across the bar.

Yeah.

The reason I asked what Sunday is I know somebody who worked there, And there was a dude that exactly as you described, that would be the sun.

Every Sunday in his regular section, regular waitress Dana.

Did you see what the gifts were.

You know, not really maybe they were good, some new iPhones or something.

But it was also like snacks too, Like He's like it was like a bag of like Cheetos and stuff like that.

It was just all just very bizarre.

I know, Cheetahs are your favorite, Becky.

Yeah, that type of vibe.

Dude cut off his right nut and wrapped it in tinfoil.

It's still warm.

So I learned something about Hooters.

I didn't realize this is that I was walking out with a friend and she used to work there, and there were some girls walking in.

They're all wearing sweatpants and sweatshirts and carrying bags of you know, luggage, And I guess by policy, you're not allowed to if you work there, you're not allowed to wear your uniform in or wear out for safety reasons.

So they go in the back and they change and put on their you know, the tank top and the shorts.

That's terrifying.

Yeah, it sucks.

I know, it did make sense when I heard it, but yeah, at least Ashley, it sucks.

Alexander from the South.

He bought a bouquet of flowers and some chocolates for his favorite stripper.

Is that a good Valentine's Day gift, Ashley.

Flowers and chocolates that seems to be you know, the standard.

It all depends on what brand you know, what you're working with.

It's brand specific.

Yeah, if you give me a little, you know, dollar box of chocolate, that might not cut it.

But uh, what I use gestation sticker is still on here.

I used to not be like a huge fan of the typical kind of gifts as you would get for Valentine's Day, but now I don't know, I find it endearing, Like, yeah, give me the basic stuff.

You're getting old like a teddy bear.

Some roses.

That's adorable.

That's what happened.

Can you send that exact device to my wife, Ashley?

Why she want you to go for it?

I think so?

Yeah?

Oh is it your first year married?

Mm hmm, oh yeah, there you have fun.

The flowers and chocolates that this Alexander dude bought for his favorite stripper cost him two hundred and eighty eight dollars in trade.

Ooh, but you have to remember Alexander is a lunatic.

That is some boogie flowers and chocolate.

But don't get excited.

Remember he's a lunatic, the kind of guy who thinks strippers want chocolate and flowers.

He doesn't have two hundred and eighty eight legit dollars.

It's probably a little camera in those flowers.

So he paid for the flowers with and the chocolates with counterfeit money.

The phony cash had the word replica on them, and also printed on the bills, there was wording that read only to be used for motion pictures.

Somehow, the florist who sold Alexander the flowers didn't notice that right away.

Eventually she did, but not right away.

I wouldn't expect somebody buying flowers to be using counterfeit money.

I don't know why.

I would never suspect anyone of using counterfeit money.

Oh really, I think when I was a server or bartender, that would be really noticeable.

I guess because you're dealing with cash so personally, but yeah, I don't know a flower gig.

I wouldn't expect the criminals to be buying flowers.

I'm with you on that.

After he got his hands on the beautiful flowers, Alexander headed off to the Boom Boom room to hand deliver them to his terrified favorite stripper.

While Alexander was there, he tried to pay a bar tab with the same movie money.

The bartender wasn't fooled.

He went ahead and called the police.

Once the cops shook down Alexander, they found four hundred dollars more phony dollars.

Four hundred dollars more of that phony money.

He also had a little little DJ powder on him and a fist full of those meth rocks.

So Alexander's off to jail and that poor stripper can finally get a decent night's sleep.

Yeah.

I bet meth could probably get you to think that a stripper's interested in you.

You can buy that prop money pretty easily.

I was googling it just now.

Yeah.

Oh you want ten thousand dollars ten bucks, that's all it costs.

It's a great investment.

That's a wonderful investment.

Uh.

I remember when ac DC came to town nineteen hundred and ninety one their Razor's Edge tour.

Did you go to that show, Josh?

They played two shows at met Center.

Oh, I've never seen ACDC.

One of the shows, I was sitting next to Mike Madonna anyway, Oh, so you you probably don't do you remember this?

I think it was only on the Razor's Edge tour where when they played the song money Talks, they dropped from the ceiling of the arena hundreds and thousands of dollar bills with angus young I've seen that on the dollar bill fun and so, as a you know, a young person, I grabbed as many as I could out of the sky for a souvenir, and one night I used it to tip a bartender and it was pretty funny actually, because the dude it took him, like, I don't know, fifteen twenty seconds to say, hey, gave him an Angus dollar for a tip.

Nick.

Only me, me, you and Rob Pager care about this.

But did Scott holl when he was Razor Amoon, did he get the name for this finisher, the Razor's Edge from that tour?

Do you think?

I don't think so, because I think that Razor's Edge move was before that tour.

Okay, yeah, maybe ACDC stole it from him.

If you want an Angus buck, it'll cost you eight bucks on eBay if you want to get one of those from the two This says from nineteen ninety.

Ninety Okay, ninety ninety one cost you.

How much do you get one of them off the internet?

Eight bucks?

Illow this angus young and your listening the ninety three h.

I mean I remember seeing them just falling from the guy in their music videos, you know, like live shows and stuff like that.

I'd never seen up close.

These are cool.

I could see why somebody at first might think it was real money.

The bartender was.

He side eyed me, that's for sure, all right.

Uh boy, I don't care who you are, nobody would want to take this money shot.

At terrible LaGuardia Airport in terrible New York City, an airplane was a setting on the runway getting that de icing splooge dumped all over it before takeoff.

You know that operation right now.

I hate when they do that.

I understand they have to, but I hate when that announcement comes on.

I'm like, didn't you have planned better?

Well?

Terrified me as a kid the first time I was on a plane they did that.

I'm like, why why are they hosing the airplane down?

It's like the middle of winter.

I've never maybe I've never traveled in the winter, I've never had that happen.

Yeah, it terrified me too.

Dana, and I was twenty eight years old.

Why did it terrify you out of curiosity?

Because I had no idea what they were doing.

It was one of my probably only my second plane ride ever.

And we're at the airport and the dead of winter.

We're walking through the hallways and I look through the winter through the winter, I look through the window and I see massive airplane out there waiting to take off and cruise, spraying it with something.

And I asked, whoever I was with at the time, what the hell are they doing where they're de icing the airplane.

If they don't do that, the airplane could some of the mechanics could freeze up while they're flying.

That horrified me.

Yeah, so of course what enters my mind is, so if these four or five jibbronis out there with the jumpsuits on, if they don't do their job perfectly, that plane's going to go down.

And the person who was with me.

Said, yeah, pretty much.

So then all I'm thinking about is have those four or five Jabbronis been drinking?

Are they idiots?

Right?

And it wasn't necessarily my airplane that was getting de iced, It was just one that was on the runway.

But I'd never heard about that before.

I had no idea.

Oh see, I didn't see it through the window.

Oh I sat through the window of the plane we were sitting in.

I had a window seat, and all of a sudden, like it's just getting pelted with water.

I thought we were under attack or something.

I had no idea what was happening.

Yeah, we're going down.

You know, these are things that never crossed my mind.

What they do to an airplane before it takes off, I never cared.

I wonder if they do do that for every winter flight, or is it just like certain ones after a snowfall or whatever.

Maybe somebody knows could let us know.

I've never yeah, never seen it before.

All right, So Lo Guardia Airport in New York City.

Airplane on the runway, the de icing is underway.

Here's the deal.

H somehow that de ice squeege started leaking into the airplane.

Now that would freak me out, wondering how that could possibly happen.

Some pour some bits.

Just setting in his seat waiting for the nightmare to begin, right, waiting for the airplane to take off, got bukackied by all that de ice juice it came pouring down upon him from the ceiling of the airplane.

The passenger unlucky, prick.

He told the flight crew that the plane had just finished on him.

He was okay.

He did ask nicely if anyone on the airplane could borrow him a fresh pair of pants.

He said he was looking for Ray Finkel and this was a Delta brand airplane.

If that matters at all to you, I would think that kind of stuff would kill you.

I would think the same thing.

It could be pretty toxic.

Yeah, I'm looking at supposed to be like one hundred and thirty to one hundred and eighty degrees.

Okay.

The stuff that they're spraying all over the airplane.

Does it say when they have to do it?

Yeah, anytime there's precipitation or it's near freezing temperatures.

Okay, so even if it's just super cold.

Here's the pilot talking about it.

We had a bunch of tea, I think a lease side of the aircraft, medical services or anything.

I just sat it get right off.

Yeah, I think maybe new pair of fans of Marmors out the I just worried about the company.

So I like that.

So we want to have a pick to look at it.

Make sure we don't have a leak.

It's our big I gotta be honest.

I couldn't understand a word they were saying.

So the pilot's saying, we had an issue where the de icing was coming through, and then they asked, is everybody okay?

Well one guy's going to need some new pants, but working coming through, so maybe a maintenance takeing.

The hell did you understand that?

I don't.

I mean maybe because I pulled the clip.

Do you wanna do you have a friend?

Uh in your neighborhood and you guys walkie talkie back?

Well, yeah, you know when we were kids that started with Dixie cups in a strip.

Yeah, it's evolved.

I couldn't make out a single work.

Kind of to me too, it kind of sounded like the teachers and are the growing ups and peanuts?

You know, yeah, you must have walkie talkie experience?

Oh, Nick, do the growing ups in the peanuts?

Oh god, it's been years since I've I don't mean to put you on the spot, Oh my god.

But maybe we used to.

He came when I was a kid.

I used to.

It's been decades.

That was good.

Why did they talk.

That is that even close?

Yeah?

Yeah wah.

If I heard that out of context, I would immediately say, oh, he's doing a Peanuts thing.

That's so fun.

Sounds like you said Penis thing.

Yeah, he does Penis thing.

All right.

Here's uh, here's here's Jesse Ventura if he was a student in a Peanuts classroom.

Ah, I gotta go potty, I gotta take a world class dump.

Wah wah wah uh wow.

Okay, here's another take.

This is Jesse Ventura if he was in a Peanuts classroom, only this time the teacher is going to address him first.

Okay.

Wah wah wa wa wah wah wa wa wah whah whah whah.

Well, I can't come up to the board right now.

I've got an erection.

You want me to come up there right now to the blackboard?

W wow?

Okay, boy, I used to see him around town all the time.

I've never he was at the summer Slam event we went to right here.

Yeah, he's a special guest enforcer, sorry, referee to be specific.

The press.

The press conference, oh that infamous press conference where a stone Cold called out Nick.

Yes, yeah, I don't I don't remember if he was at that particular event, but he was at that pay per view Summer Slam nineteen hundred and ninety nine.

Because I was gonna say I've never seen him, that'd be the only opportunity I think i'd really been come close.

I used to see him Timbrels games all the time.

You must not have ever gone to Timberwolves games in the late nineties, Josh.

Remember one time he came down from the roof or came down from the rafters on a rope.

I would never ever recognize him that I was out in public.

You are you serious?

Yeah, there's no chance.

He's very I'm surprised by that.

I would hear the voice and be like that kind of sounds like that voice Nick does.

Then I would move on with my life.

Well, I'll tell you what.

Yeah, I used to see him at Wolves games all the time.

And one time me and my pal Dane were leaving a Timberwolves game and we got into one of the elevators there at the parking ramp or something, and the elevator doors open and it was just Jesse standing there and Dane and I rode a couple of floors down the elevator with him.

We said nothing, But I'll just say this, either he had farted oh horribly before we got in, or six homeless people had died in that elevator three hours before we wrote it.

Together, Dirty Mic and the boys had been in and got off the floor before you got on.

Maybe, oh, man, you know, I'd like to see him someday, just because I loved him and Predator, you know, and obviously he's a character, and the character you've done has kind of made him even more interesting to me.

But was he cool?

Like?

Was he a nice enough guy in person?

I have no idea.

Oh, you guys didn't say I to him.

No, we didn't say a word to him in that elevator ride.

You're plugging your nose, oh I mean, And.

I'm not trying to make too much fun of the guy.

Every damn one of us has died, if you know what I mean, in public and then had someone walk up to us, or you know what I'm talking about, Everyone said a little gas in public and had someone walk up and so you.

Know, yeah, I'm at once made that cash registered lady at Ikia cry because I'm so bad.

That's true, Dark Time?

Is she smelling Swedish meatballs all day.

I know it happens everybody, Jess, But on that particular evening in nineteen ninety seven whatever it was, Oh my damn, I could not believe how bad that elevator smelled when we jumped on it with him.

Did he have a guilty look on his face, like, oh, no, bad timing here.

No, don't remember that?

All right?

What are we doing?

What were we talking about?

De icing airplanes?

Yeah, Christ's sake.

Anyway, dude sitting on an airplane, the d de icing squeege falls through the ceiling of the airplane, it lands on him.

Delta airplane.

People said, this doesn't happen very often, And this is what surprised me.

They said, the de icing fluids are non hazardous.

I would assume if there's some kind of fluid out there that you can spray on an airplane that eventually is going to go seven hundred and fifty miles an hour, I have no idea.

Is that even close how fast an airplane goes?

I have no idea.

I don't know you've got some kind of splooge that can keep the ice off of an airplane that's going eight hundred miles an hour at thirty thousand feet.

I would imagine that's got something in it that might kill me.

I'm with you.

I would think somebody would just melt right in front of yah.

But they say it's non hazardous.

In the end, they made folks get off the airplane and go get on a different one, and they took off into the great Blue yonder a couple of hours.

Now here's a guy that's going to know something.

Aircraft engineer Jesus said.

De icing occurs with the right temperatures, precipitation, and or when snow and ice are already on the aircraft.

Now, freak me out.

The first time I saw there, you go.

This is pretty crooked.

I guess we'll wrap it up here, says Here, a former flight attendant for a Canadian airplane company.

He pretended to be a pilot and a current working flight attendant so he could get free plane rides all over the world ski He went here.

He went there even though he had lost his flight attendant gig and was no longer working in the industry.

He doctored up some fake credentials and whatnot.

Whoever was checking those credentials bought the gimmick every time he went on hundreds of free plane rides.

Cool Dallas is the name he goes by.

He's thirty three years old from Toronto.

If that matters at all to you, and he's been arrested for all that.

If you like to travel, that's a really cool perk.

I mean, my wife's friend, her husband works for the airlines.

He's a baggage handler, and they fly all over for free.

I mean sometimes we're on standby a little bit, but they can go out.

I mean they went to Thailand.

I don't think they paid much of anything for but there they go all over the country.

Everything on.

One of my friends her parents.

Her dad is an international pilot, so he flies absolutely everywhere, and her mom used to be a flight attendant, so that's how they met.

So adorable, but then she stopped working.

She stayed home and took care of the kids, and yeah, they I mean she's been everywhere you could ever imagine.

It's so cool.

My mom worked as a flight attendant and then later on in life worked in human resources at airlines, and even in her retirement, she and my dad can still as travel for free.

As long as you know, there's open seats in the plane.

They can jump on any plane they want, even a retirement.

Yeah, I don't know HR at the airport.

So this guy, this guy, because his credentials said he was still working for an airline up there in Canada, he was able to get his hands on tickets reserved for pilots and flight attendants.

Once he even requested to sit in the xtrey seat in the cockpit what they call the jump seat, typically reserved for off duty pilots.

Christ do you think they let him steer for a while they hit his wings because that's not right.

So some folks are saying that this Dallas dude's little caper reminded them of that old Catch me if you can movie starring I think it was Chris Elliott, which tells the story of Frank Abognail who pretended to be a pilot to make large piles of money and score with foxy ladies.

I think that was the lead character, Chris Ellie.

Yeah, it was definitely Chris all without a doubt.

Don't even look it up.

All right, there you go.

Sports on the ninety three X half assed Morning show.

What's going on with Dreyll Miller's hair?

By the way, is it coming off?

What is happening here?

It is all right?

That was a setup, right, it had to event.

That was a setup.

Don't you think he needs some ow?

Is that gorilla glue?

If you if you have an opportunity, stop by our website, right Ashley yep and look for this video.

A boxer in a meaningless heavyweight fight.

A boxer got his two pay punched smooth off the top of his head during a match at Madison Square Garden.

The boxer whose hairdoo fake Haredo, went shooting off the top of his skull when he took a punch to the yapper.

The boxer goes by the name of Jirell Miller.

He was fighting some other guy.

It's got to be a setup because because the original, the original two pay, was so bad.

It looks pretty bad that no one in their.

Right mind would go into a game of cards, let alone a boxing match and expect that two pay to stay on top of their head.

Yeah.

I think it's a setup too, just because this is the first time I've heard about a boxing match that didn't involve that Paul brother for in years.

You know, that's the only time you heard about boxing is if that social media guys in there in the ring fighting in the.

Age of social media, you do wonder, right, what's real?

What's right?

Trying to get some attention.

Oh there's another setup I'm gonna talk about later on in sports when Randy Shafer and Brad Ryder join us.

But I think this was just a goof the dude with the two pay He knew what was going to come off at one point or another.

His opponent knew it was gonna come off at one point or another.

They wanted to be on YouTube.

He mentioned he's a comedian.

He says he's a funny He says, I'm a funny guy.

I like to have laughs.

He says.

It's a little tough to hear, but he's so funny that I'll get some.

My mama house and I she had some shampool bottles on the table and I shampooed it like a moonium bleach.

I ve lost my hair like two days ago, so I called the Master was doing a man.

It was all real clear as.

Before.

Man, it's a funny man.

It says I'm a comedian.

He's a comedian.

If you couldn't follow what he was saying he claimed he went to his grandmama house.

And m.

Ahead, Jock, I'm gonna reach in there and grab it.

He said he went to his grand mama house and he washed his hair, but he accidentally washed it with ammonia bleach instead of shampoo, and all of his hair fell out.

This is all a bit, yeah, because how in the world would you ever do that.

It's a funny video when the hairdoo comes off.

It's pretty funny.

There you go.

H oh.

By the way, we were talking about Chris Elliot's movie Catch Me If you Can, where he plays something a big nail and he's robbing everybody.

Catch Me if you Can.

A listener texted Didn't to say, if you love Catch Me if you Can starring Chris Elliott, you'd love him in Django Unchain.

Oh.

He was great in that, Yeah, one of his best performances.

I also really enjoyed him in Titanic.

I thought he was pretty good in that movie too.

It's just a handsome man, that's for sure.

Golden Gopher basketball loss yesterday.

Heartbreaker Pigs play tonight at home against le Abbitant.

Timberwolves play tonight on the road against the Memphis Grizzlies, Randy Shaver, Brad Ryder coming up in a half hour.

More news with Josh here in a few minutes.

In the sixties, I made love to many, many women, often outdoors in the mud and the rain, and it's possible a man slipped in would be no way of knowing.

The ninety three x half ass morning.

Sh ninety screen.

I met when she was eighteen years of age, and then all these years later, she has been the greatest, most brilliant, kindest, sweetest angel that any of us worked with each other.

So he.

Just hours after the announcement of actress Catherine O'Hara's death, comedian Steve Martin and Martin short Nitor during their show Friday Night.

Born and raised in Toronto as the sixth of seven children, O'Hara began her comedy career at Second City in the nineteen seventies.

She famously played McCauley Culkin's mother in the first two Home Alone films, starred in the mockumentaries Best in Show and a Mighty Wind, cult favorites like Beetlejuice and its sequel, and appeared in eighty episodes of Shit's Creek with her most recent project, the Apple TV Plus series The Studio Opposite seth Rogen.

I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself.

If you don't let me got out this house and make it my.

Own, I will go and say and I.

Will take you with me.

Oh.

Next step is to fold in the cheese.

What does that mean?

What is fold in the cheese mean?

He folds it in?

I understand that, But how how.

Do you fold it?

You just that's what you do.

You just fold it in.

Okay, I don't know how.

To fold broken cheese like that.

Oh good, No, I see bubbles.

I don't even know the name because I don't want to know something cardia and versa and then dexter cardia and something in versa.

People are gonna think I'm so ignorant not to know this, but I kind of don't want to know.

Catherine O'Hara died at her home in Los Angeles following a brief illness at the age of seventy one.

She's talking about a condition where her organs are essentially mirrored on the opposite side of her body.

That was a real thing.

Yeah, wow, Randy Foy, Lotties don't remember Randy Foyd.

Do you I remember Randy Timberwolf.

Played for the Timberwolves for a brief period of time.

He had that condition.

I had never heard of anyone else having that same condition.

She didn't even know she had it until she was an adult.

What she had no clue.

That's so bizarre.

I never had any kind of an X ray anyway.

That's very interesting.

Talking about Katherine O'Hara just brings me back to when I was a young kid.

My sister and I would stay up all f a night when we were young kids to watch SCTV with John Candy and Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara, Martin Short Bob and Doug McKenzie.

I can't think of their real names now.

Just wildly bizarre, funny, genius stuff.

That's really too bad that she's gone so young.

She was absolutely brilliant.

Yeah, and it was a big surprise.

It sounds like pretty much everybody just all of a sudden she wasn't doing well and then she passed at the age of seventy one.

Did you, guys ever, did you dial into SCTV Josh when you were a kid.

I did, because I have a buddy who was obsessed with it.

I remember him showing this was in high school.

I didn't even know about it until high school, and he used to watch it all the time.

God, no, I can't think of some of the great characters that they had.

I mean, Bob and Doug mackenzie were the two that gained maybe the most notoriety from SCTV.

But it was just it was just hilarious stuff and as a you know, nine, ten year old kid, it was quite eye opening.

The news comes amid another loss in the entertainment world.

Demand Wilson, best known as Lamont Sandford and the groundbreaking nineteen seventy sitcom Sandford and Son opposite on screen father Red Fox.

He died Friday his Palm Springs area home from cancer related complications.

I was reading the Baby the other day, wife dies.

The mate follows, Hey, pop, now you know mama's been dead for twenty three years.

Well it takes a little longer, And truth, I'm surprised I've been around as long with his heart, Yeah, me too.

During his life, he balanced careers as an actor and a minister, and authored several books as well.

He was not the big dummy that his dad painted him out to be.

I agree, I totally agree.

His television dad at least.

Yeah, this one really saddens me as well.

I loved them on Wilson.

He was such a terrific straight man to Red Fox and Sanford AND's son, come on, so friggin funny.

At the time of his passing, Wilson was seventy nine.

In Indiana, man briefly pioneered a bold new home renovation technique by employing an aggressively enthusiastic, yell, yet ill advised plumbing solution.

The forty nine year old narrowly escaped injury after using a blowtorch to thaw active gas lines while doing a favor for his brother, inadvertently setting the home on fire while he was blissfully unaware.

The well meaning sibling was working inside a crawl space in the rear of his brother's home when the family noticed fire in the bedroom closet.

Sparks from the torch found their way up and opened chase and into the house.

Fire officials wrote.

The homeowner called nine to one to one and evacuated the premises as the fire rapidly spread.

He told emergency services he was uncertain if his brother had exited the crawl space, and they feared the worst.

Firefighters launched an aggressive attack on the blaze while simultaneously searching for the man below, who the family assumed had perished in a brobacue despite the raging fire.

When rescuers found him, the man was completely unaware of the inferno above.

Oh, he's just working away still, He.

Was just going at it.

He refused to leave the space at first, demanding they let him continue his work.

Eventually they successfully extracted him, somehow unharmed.

The brother in the crawl space that he was thought the pipes at his brother's request.

Technically, the pipes did thaw, though they took down the house as well.

Hey man, the houses on fire.

We're gonna need you to get out of their hold on.

Oh no, I'm in the zone, bro one more minute.

I almost got this with an open flame.

Yeah, apparently.

So.

The story is pretty tough to stomach and so unbelievably sordid and stupid.

You're gonna have to ready a barf bag just to morn you and then activate the emergency puke.

Protocol as well.

I'm looking forward to this one.

A twisted teaching assistant at a junior high school in New York showed photos of her private parts to three teen girls and played them a raunchy sex video of herself.

Oh.

The pair of professionals.

Revolting conduct happened during a girl's empowerment movement meeting in Brooklyn and only came to light because a seventh grader at the school was caught showing snaps of the masturbating woman to other boys in a locker room.

I'll be damned and the student that showed off the woman's photos, you're not going to like this is the woman's son.

When the boys reported his behavior to school officials, one of the girls who had seen the mom's X rated images was present and blurted out like mother, like son.

That led school officials to dig deeper into the forty one year old's disgusting behavior.

The girls recalled that while body dysmorphia was being discussed during a girl's empowerment movement meeting, the instructor assured the group it's normal for females to have one breast larger than the other, and then flashed her topless picks.

As proof she did.

Huh, well, she was on the right track.

The girls were called to investigators that her nipples were pierced what and there was a greenish tattoo on one of them in the shape of a star out diamond.

The report said.

During the meeting, one of the students told the teacher that she once cut class and went home to have sex with another student, and that act was filmed.

She then told the girl not to be embarrassed because she too had her own sex tape, and then proved it by sharing it with the students.

During the investigation, even two school staffers told investigators she showed them the same photos and video.

She just wants everybody to see.

She's an educator, Ashley, That's all this is.

She's proud of her work.

Her son is showing off nudes of mom and then videos of her masturbating.

That is not right.

Oh he needs serious, serious help.

You're not kidding.

I'll be dipped.

For her part, she denied displaying the nude pics or a sex video to students.

She claimed she was ratted out by the three girls as payback for catching them high on edibles, although police were wondering how they were able to describe so well her body if she didn't show any of those photos.

On the topic of nipples, here's a stat we can broadcast on the areola.

Approximately one out of every eighteen people has a third nipple, which seems like a lot.

Yeah, that does seem like a lot.

But some of them are small and just look like freckle or moles.

Oh that's cool.

I wonder if I have a third nipple.

I don't know.

I bet there's a lot of people listening that like to check.

Ashley.

I don't know what you've just done, but I bet it's not good.

Here's another story where you'll want a barf bucket and a priest.

A Louisiana man was hit with charges after pretending to be disabled online to lure a nanny into his home to change his diaper.

Oh, you may remember this story because it's a disturbing trick.

He's already been busted for twice before.

Yep, this guy.

Yeah, it's still at it.

It all sounds very familiar.

I think when we talked about it the second time, we all agreed that he's never gonna stop.

And that's the case here.

He was previously arrested for pulling the same disgusting diaper depravity in twenty nineteen and twenty twenty one.

Well, I guess the good news is, as far as we know, he's the only one doing this.

It does seem like, right, it's this guy.

Yeah, he's the leader.

Thirty five year old Rutledge Dais was arrested Rutledge Thursday after using an online nanny service to quest help caring for someone with special needs in order to coax the worker to his home, but when the victim showed up, he pretended to be disabled, telling the worker they needed to carry out duties consistent with infant care, including his diaper changes, during which he would have joshulate.

He prayed on an online service in college age girls to bring them in, pretending to be a disabled adult and asking them to change his adult diaper.

State Police maintains he is not disabled, does not need an adult diaper.

In all of this is a scam and a way to lower in vulnerable girls to do what he wants.

Does that announcer sound like he's at gunpoint?

Yeah, Well, he's.

Really yelling at us as if we're arguing with him.

Yeah, okay, we're believing every word you say.

Dude, you don't have to shout it at us like we were in trouble somebody.

We understand, right, So that's all it took for him to get there.

It was just the act of having his diaper change.

That's correct.

Oh my god, that's all he needed.

It's not that an episode of House once.

Oh really like being treated like a baby.

He was placed on probation in twenty twenty for posting fake ads online falsely claiming he was seeking home healthcare for his eighteen year old brother, whom he described as mentally and physically disabled.

He posed as that imaginary brother, looking for more than just Huggies.

When the home care aid changed his adult diaper, he pampered her with a mess that only orgasming males can produce.

Dais was cuffed again in twenty twenty one after pretending to be a younger man with special needs undergoing alternative therapy and offered to pay a babysitter to change his diapers.

Then he attempted to persuade that victim to recruit others to care for him as well, Hey, you got any friends?

Why is he still getting opportunities to do this?

I don't know why he's out.

I mean shouldn't he be in the basement of an asylum.

Yeah, you'd dank.

I'm with you.

He's this guy's he's not gonna stop.

He pleaded guilty the following year and was sentenced to ten years behind bars, with nine suspended.

He was released.

He was ordered to serve five years probation.

Well, obviously he's violated that.

Yeah, he's like Josh, He's like a West Coast party.

It just don't stop.

It don't stop.

Yeah, he ain't gonna stop, right.

A Florida doctor was sentenced to two years in prison after he slipped a prick into his patient's backsides using a hypodermic needle to inject silicone oil he purchased online into their butts.

Why would he do then for cosmetic procedures?

Oh oh, oh, I see he would buy the I thought he was just stabbing sleeping patients in the ass with the Okay, I.

Mean, I could see the appeal, But no, it's not what he's up to.

He's he's supposedly taking money for this.

Yeah, so he would buy it online and injected into his patients for gluteal and buttock enhancement procedures at his office and home.

That routine became became part of how he operated, moving between locations while continuing these same injections.

Remember that Russian kid who injected his biceps.

Oh, yes, it looks so stupid.

And it wasn't it just it was breake fluid or something just horrible.

Yeah, and I mean it even looked dumb.

It wasn't like you go, well, I could see why that looks pretty rad.

It was ridiculous.

I think, yeah, he just got some gas gas, he got some oil out of his folk's garage or something, injecting motor oil or something straight into his biceps because he wanted to look yoked.

The US Food and Drug Administration has not approved injectable silicone for body contouring or enhancement, issuing warnings to the public advising them of the illegality and the health risks associated with those injections.

Those warnings stood in direct contest contrast, excuse me to what his patients were being told.

Oh, I bet those butts do not look good.

You're probably right.

The now former physician told his patients the substance he was injecting into their bodies was safe, natural, and would dissolve over time.

He lied.

After receiving the injections, patients experienced complications such as sharp and severe pain, discomfort, discoloration, itchiness, burning, inflammation, soreness, and hardness in the ejection areas.

But they agreed to this.

They did agree.

And I'm wondering if his house maybe they got a discount.

I'm trying to think why you would ever go to somebody's home for a procedure like this.

Is there anything in the story to where it tells you that these people were aware that this guy wasn't exactly on the up and up.

Well no, I mean apparently he told them he was a physician, and he said, no, all this is safe, it's good, you know, don't worry about it, and they bought it.

He eventually was busted after offering the injections to an undercover law enforcement agent and was sentenced in violation of the Federal Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act.

People are still looking for that for that bigger butt.

Oh yeah, I've never been happy with my ass.

Would you ever want to alter it cosmetically?

Yeah?

Safe?

Yeah?

I like the way you are right now.

But I mean I got a trucker butt.

Sure, that's on a contour back there.

Like people like the hockey butt, right, you can kind of rest just put a like a drink on top of a hockey.

Players a quarter off of it.

Never been happy with my ass.

I'm surprised to hear you you should love yourself to.

Yeah, you hear some squats or something.

I don't know, step more carbs.

I'm kidding, of course, I couldn't possibly care less.

I just wanted to say that out loud.

Yeah, I've heard people say that where I have heard women say that before.

I've never been happy with my ass.

No, I'm very gassy.

Tonight on CBS Super Bowl Greatest Commercials, Hall of Fame Countdown.

Oh wow, they really got nothing else going on.

I watched the first one.

Wait, you know, whenever they first when I really enjoyed watching those commercials.

But now it's like there's no points online.

Yeah, British boy.

British actress Gemma Archerton, who short circuited Nick when we tried to interview her many many years ago, is forty.

She's only forty.

I know.

I would have thought, well, that can't be right.

When we talked to her then, she was probably twenty years old.

Well, let me double check.

Maybe there's no way she's forty years old.

I bet she's around my age, forty f me running sideways.

Yeah, she's forty.

I couldn't tell you what the name of the movie was, but I saw her in a movie.

I mean, just outrageously sexy, this gal.

I've never heard you like that before, outside of maybe when we met David Coverdale of White Snake, where words didn't work for either of us.

We interviewed this gal many many many years ago.

And this might have been for like Handle and Gretel when I have.

No idea, but she was so sexy over the telephone.

And then I looked her up while we were talking to her.

Because I did zero research for this interview.

I had never heard of Gemma Arterton until we had her on the telephone, and I was just lost.

My day, my month was shot when I got a look at her and heard what she heard, how she sounded on the radio.

It was love, love at first sight.

While I think she was a vampire maybe in a movie that I saw.

It is a long time ago.

Jemma Arterton is only four.

And don't tell Jemma Arterton that I thought she was fifty four years old.

But she just her her appearance was always very mature.

So she's introduced, she gets this out, and we lost Nick.

It was that quick.

He was gone.

And I understand.

Shakira, whose Hips Don't Lie is forty nine.

That's another lady that even New York Times best selling author and Season fourteen Dancing with the Stars champion, Donald Driver turns forty five today.

Donald Driver, Robert Delio from The Stone Temple, Pilot sixty Lieutenant Commander Data on Star Trek, the next Generation, Brent Spiner seventy.

We've got the great pleasure to welcome writer to the Brotherhood.

Congratulations to Ginger healthcare account, Jesus and the Missus.

Congratulations to the Jesus now known as meteorology technician Jesus due to a job change.

Happy sixty nine minus six minus nine great so what and minus six minus nine to sense nobody else will Jesus.

And Happy sixth and seventh birthday to Jill and Katie.

And that's ninety three X.

News Randy Shaver and Brad Riders on the Half Assed Morning Show.

He spent a lot of those nights.

Obviously, you know you're up in these decisions.

And they're uncertain, and you're trying to make sure that you don't lock yourselves into what you did and thinking that it's always right.

And so there's those nights that you wake up and start at the ceiling and ask yourself.

But I always go back to the process and what we thought at the time.

It's easier to kind of go and be revisionists and results base, but going to really think through what we had at the time, I still understand why we did what we did.

The results maybe didn't play out the way we wanted them to.

Oh my damn.

Let's let's get some good use out of Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder here.

Good luck this morning?

Yeah, good morning.

Well you're the one in Florida on the beach.

On the beach, he said, frozen on the beach.

Oh yeah.

People have been telling me, hey, your buddy Randy Shaver went down to Florida, and I say, yeah, I hope he stays there.

And then they say, but you should bust his balls because it's the coldest a couple of weeks in Florida since the beginning of time or something like that.

Yeah, it's pretty chilly, or what are you dealing with down.

There frozen iguana's right.

I keep reading articles about it.

Have you seen any of that?

I have not, No, But it's unusual to wake up to frost on your car and grass in Florida.

But it's exactly what it is in the last three days.

So is that what happens, Josh?

The iguana's freeze and they fall from the trees.

Yep, and they hit you over the top of the head and smash your car.

Whin She than things like that.

Every year, this seems like they have these stories and it must, like Randy said, it's different this year.

There's plenty of stories about.

There's like a couple of ladies, for example, that have gone around with like garbage bags, picking them up and trying to warm them up.

One ladys she eats them.

You know why.

I don't like that.

She eats them, warm them up so that they become alive, and then you kill them so you can eat them.

Sounds like it sounds like that.

Randy Shaver calling in from Florida.

Brad Rider here in town, big things have cut loose with a couple of our local ball clubs since we last spoke, Big damn things.

Some high rollers in town were dumped on their asses.

Now, if you happened within like an hour or two of each other on Friday after we got off the air.

Happened, it all happened very quickly, Brad Rider, you know that those firings happened very quickly and out of nowhere sometimes.

Oh yeah, I'm aware of that.

If you follow the Minnesota Vikings, it probably didn't come as a huge surprise that the team canned their general manager.

Over there.

Dude goes by the name of Quacy Adofo Mensa.

Uh, he wasn't thrilling.

I wasn't thrilling anybody when it came to drafting players.

I had heard, well, we got plenty of texts on it.

That's why I was thinking, like Texters are going to be pretty psyched on Monday.

Psyched.

Yeah.

People were furious with his you know, sticking with JJ and not being very good in the draft.

Throughout the football season, I heard all kinds of buzz that, you know, if the team doesn't really push out something special at the ass end of the year, that this was a likelihood.

So it happened on a time was a little unusual.

I mean, you'd think maybe they would have done a couple of weeks ago instead of sending him down to the Senior Bowl to scout.

Well, maybe he's got a girlfriend there or something.

I don't know.

They wanted to be nice and let him go enjoy the Senior Bowl.

So, I mean, other than his troubles drafting, obviously, it didn't help that he and troubled head coach Kelvin o'conrad fell in lust with and banked the ball club's future on and injury prone and completely unproven quarterback.

Well, if you read, if you believe what you read, Kevin O'Connell was not necessarily on board with JJ McCarthy being the starting quarterback to start the season.

Oh yeah, he felt that he felt he wasn't quite ready.

And that's just the real problem for Quacy boils down to the drafting.

Zero Pro Bowls out of any of the players he drafted in the four years, zero and start time.

I was reading this weekend, I think it's the second fewest number of starts by players drafted over the last four years.

Well, you can't, you can't.

You can't build a football program.

You can't build a championship team if you're not drafting well and getting the most out of those picks, especially when you have team control over a certain period of time, It just you just can't do that.

And so in order to make that up, he has to go out and spend a ton of money in free agency, and that's where the Vikings get themselves in trouble with the salary cap.

Every went a little deeper on that stat that same stat over the weekend, Randy I saw it second worst as far as games started by players you drafted.

I mean, I know it's kind of a detailed explanation, but not only is it the second worst, but it's the second worst by quite a ways.

Like that, it's not even close to the in the middle of the pack, I think the great I mean, the Packers have the most.

I think it was five hundred and sixty three games started in that four game stretch and the Vikings had one hundred and seventy two.

I mean, it's when you can't draft players that are capable of starting in the league over a four year period, you're going to get fired.

I mean, especially in this league.

I mean, you need to hit on your drafts in this league because everybody's got the same salary cap.

So everybody's playing in theory with the same amount of money.

This isn't Major League Baseball where the Dodgers could just go out and trade their prospects and every year can compete the Yankees or the Red Sox.

Everybody's playing with the same amount of money, and so you've got to have a general manager, somebody in charge that can hit on your draft picks.

And if you don't, this is what happens.

Here are some other comments I heard or read.

I should say comments that I read about Quasi Adolfo Mensa not the leader the Vikings needed.

He lacked leadership skills.

He spent a lot of time in his office and not enough time circulating among staffers.

He wasn't available enough two coaches, to executives and two players, especially after he had a kid or two.

I read a couple of comments saying, once a guy had a couple of kids, he never answered the freaking phone.

Yeah, some people are giving him crap or taking paternity leads.

Well, there's plenty articles on that.

Oh God, for that kind of stuff all comes out afterward.

To me, that's not right, that's not the reason why.

No, No, I mean, if he were hitting on his draft takes.

People wouldn't care if he was in the office, you know, eighty hours a week or thirty hours a week, they wouldn't care.

That kind of stuff comes out afterwards and people are piling on.

That's not the reason he got flired.

Well, they weren't saying it was the reason.

They were just saying other negative things about man.

But I agree with I agree with Brat.

You wouldn't hear about all that stuff if the Vikings had made the playoffs the last few years, the players and the players he drafted were playing.

Yeah, I'm sure you're right.

I'm just reading what other people have said about He was hired four years ago, the first NFL general manager with a background primarily in analytics.

He never played or coached football at all, right.

Which was a red flag when he was fired.

When he was hired four years ago.

Now other information here.

There was talk about an underlying tension in the Vikings offices.

Some even called the overall vibe ugly.

But it's all over now.

Rob Brazinski, Yeah he's great.

Is he great?

Yes?

Rob Razinsky is a fantastic guy.

I don't know if he'll end up being the general manager.

He's the one that basically runs the salary cap for the Vikings and he's been a part of their organization since nineteen ninety nine.

He's been around a long time.

I think I've heard you bring him up before, Randy Shaber.

He's very inteligence, he knows the league.

He's very well liked.

Again, I don't know if he'll end up being the person that replaces Quaycy.

But he's handling the gig for now.

Yeah, that's right.

He'll he'll take him through the draft and he'll be old school.

He will go through all the scouts.

He will.

You know, it'll be a meeting of the minds.

It won't be something where he says, this is what we're going to do and it's all on him.

So he's been around since nineteen hundred and ninety nine, So he's not the new guy in the corner puke and his guts out.

No, he's got some experience.

Yes, Others are saying that Odolpho Mensa's biggest f up was that he had a chance to trade for Patriots quarterback Drake May, but it didn't happen.

Says your last offseason, the Vikings wanted to trade up in the first round to draft Drake May.

It was Quasi Udolpho Mensa who decided not to give the Patriots what they wanted at the time and stuck with the unproven and injury prone what was your what did you call him again, Dada?

The spass the spas that we currently have in the quarterback room.

So there you go.

Well, all this means is that Koc is now the person basically in charge of football operations.

So if this team doesn't move forward, the pressure now lands pretty much squarely on Kevin O'Connell.

He's the next fall guy.

Yep.

So that's what that's part of means.

I think that's part of the reason too, why you saw them spend a lot of money to keep Brian Flores around.

I mean, because I'm not saying that this is going to happen, but if they don't have a good season next year, they wanted to make sure they had somebody else in the building that was capable of taking over if there is another fall guy.

The other big gang bang here in town.

A couple of days ago, the Minnesota Twins and president Derek Falvey mutually agreed to part ways I.

Don't think there's much mutual about that.

What what does this do for me as a Twins fan?

Explain it to me, because I don't know what this means for me.

I don't think it does anything.

Okay, I think Faalvey realized that this organization is such a mess.

It's probably better for him professionally to move on and find another job in the in baseball, because let's be honest, this thing is not going anywhere.

Oh, I'm still sticking with my prediction that the Twins are going to shock major League Baseball this summer.

Okay, more than major League Baseball if they did.

But I put some money on that if if you feel good about it, I put some money on it.

So you know, once once the other once the other Polead brother took over.

I think, you know, I think from what I'm reading or hearing, I think, you know, Fallby and the other one had a decent relationship, and I don't think that this new one that's come in has the same type of personality.

And I just don't think the personality is matched from what I'm hearing very well.

I also think that the pole Ads keep talking about wanting to compete and plan to compete, but they're not spending the money in order to do that.

And so now you're you have to be the one that provides the message to the team, the coaching staff, the fans that yes, we are going to compete, Yes we're out there, when you're really at this point, you're not.

You don't even have a bullpen at this point.

So and you're two weeks from players rewarding.

Yeah, I mean, so I can understand why Falby, if the opportunity was there to part ways, it makes sense for him professionally just to say, Okay, this is this is not going to work.

Josh.

You gotta love those Ride or Die Twins spends, you know what I mean, all in all the time, like Fireplace Jesus who just texted in to say, let me know when the Twins are in the playoffs.

Ven I'll care.

That's one of those Rider Die he bleeds red, white and Blue twin.

So you're telling me there's nothing promising about this.

There's nothing positive about this.

I don't think it changes anything, Okay, I honestly don't.

Well, I mean, let's be honest.

The whole part of the it's not like Derek Falvey has wasted so much money and free agency that he lost his job because of that.

They don't spend any they haven't enough to compete.

And Brad's right, baseball is so different than than the NFL and all the other sports.

The Twins, even if they did go out and spend another fifty sixty seventy million dollars, likely wouldn't be competitive to win a World Series.

They just wouldn't.

The Dodgers.

Three players on the Dodgers, that's more money than like five or six franchises spend on their entire rosters.

Right, it's just not fair.

It's not fair.

If you like baseball, you better enjoy this season because I don't think there's going to be a twenty twenty seven season, or if there is, it's going to be a very short season because they're going to have to strike, lock out and fix this thing, and it's going to take a long time and a lot of negotiations.

They have got to get a salary cap.

They have got to figure out the next time to get a salary cap, because.

They're not going to get it done before the start of next season.

It's time.

The signing of Kyle Tucker by the Dodgers.

I think put everybody over the top.

It's just not it's just not competitive.

It just isn't.

I think just gang of misfits that they have on the Twins roster is going to get it done.

And no one's and no one in town is going to know what to think, you know what I mean, it's gonna be major league.

No one's gonna have any answers at that point.

Well, what the hell do we do now this?

Because that happens.

Yeah, I think we all halt that that happens.

But for the long term health of the game, it's almost better that they don't right year, right, because then if if if something comes out of nowhere with a little tiny payroll and wins the World Series, the big payroll people or owners are going to go into the offseas and say, see, we don't need to fix anything.

Yeah, they're gonna say, if it's not broke, why fix it?

Right, It's gonna be a great summer.

Did we cover this yet?

Okay, so it's super Bowl week, right, It's Super Bowl Week coming up Sunday.

The Sea Ducks and the did anyone mention this yet?

Sam Darnold has a career record of zero to four against the New England Patriots and the four losses he's been outscored one and twenty three to twenty three.

No, not exactly promising.

That's pretty bad.

So we've gone from he can't win the big one to that stat Now, what do you mean?

Well, before it was we can't keep him because he can't win the big Game.

Well, now that he's gotten to the super Bowl, now we're going to say that he can't win the super Bowl because he's on four against the Patriot.

It's just a warning.

It's just numbers.

Brad Ryder, don't be afraid of you're scary.

They can't hurt you.

What do you find numbers scary?

Joe Dely in the four games at Sam Donald is what numbers are scary to you?

Josh, I'm trying to remember the old joke when you were a kid.

Seven, Yes, you're afraid of seven?

That's six eight seven.

I didn't even go in order, No, I.

Was just kind of let it go.

You must have hit your head on the way in.

You're you're married to an elementary school teacher.

You should know these types of things.

How to count to ten in.

Sam Donald's four career games against New England, he has two lost, one touchdown, and nine interceptions.

Wow.

Who was he playing for when that happened?

Yeah, I don't know, and he was priately playing against Tom Brady.

Well, probably the Jets, right, because they're in the same division, So that's probably why.

I mean, that's hard.

You can't really compare that.

I don't know if you Valleys follow football much, but the Jets haven't been too good and less.

Yes, yeah, Josh, a listener knows a number that you're afraid of.

What's that?

Your wife's number?

Oh?

Hey, you know what her body count?

Yeah?

That number is.

It's like a Walgreens receipt at times, it just doesn't end.

Oh my god, I'm afraid of his wife's body count because she's never really told you the full truth.

I do can't, to be honest, I don't know if she can fully remember, right.

She told me it's a lot, and she's made me brothers like an offensive line from the Seahawks back in the day, the entire offensive line.

Yeah.

A couple of golfers, well known golfers.

One of them went on to play for the Lakers.

So yeah, I got a Stanley Cup champion, not out of my not out of my current wife.

We're just talking about how do you call it Eskimo brothers.

You got a former coach, Stanley Cup champion, a longtime NFL coach.

What did you say, Brad Ryder?

No, I said, Mike Zimma, right, you talked about.

That, yeah, Zimski.

He and I are Eskimo Bros.

Which is one of the most hilarious things that's ever been told to me in public.

I'll never forget when this.

I was drinking at Medina ballroom.

Old friend of mine haven't seen him in a while, comes up, tugs me on the shirt.

What's going on?

Hey, we're having some laughs, right, And he says, you know Donna, the gal you used to date.

And I said, yeah, I haven't seen her in a long time.

He goes, yeah, you know who she's dating now, Mike zimmer I can't believe I dropped to a freaking mee.

I was laughing so hard.

I couldn't believe.

I mean, I know exactly what you're talking about.

It, I just can't picture it.

I can't picture it.

That's why the ie fell out.

Yeah, she'll do that because Donna brought so much thunder.

Donna brought the thunder and the lightning.

Yeah.

Man, all right, so we're all supposed to have a football heart on this week, Why don't we just jaw jack a little bit, have a little fun with Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder.

Hear what I have in front of me are the most unbreakable NFL records.

Unbreakable NFL records.

Not all of them are terribly exciting, like career receiving yards and things like that.

It's all Jera Rice.

We could just sit here and talk about Jera Rice for thirty minutes, but I don't want to do that, So I pulled aside a couple that I liked as far as unbreakable NFL records, quarterback sacks in a single game.

Got any guesses who holds that record?

Range here, Brad Riddorck quarterback sacks in a single game.

One.

No, No, but probably the number is like six or seven.

I'm guessing it is seven.

Oh, okay, the number is Sorry, didn't meet that way.

Yes, go ahead, Brad Ryder.

I got two guesses either.

Bruce Smith.

No, Bruce Smith was a schmuck.

Are we talking about?

We're not talking about just in Super bowls.

We're talking about now.

Yeah, one player, how many sacks did he get in one freaking ball?

Go ahead, can picture I can picture him.

He plays for he used to play for Kansas.

Yes, he's dead.

He died in a car wreck.

Derek Toms.

Someone looked that up and he died a terrible car wreck.

He was one cool football player.

He was one of those guys that just looked cool in a football uniform.

Derek Thomas in nineteen hundred and ninety sacked Seattle Seahawks quarterback Dave Craig seven times in a single game.

That's what he gets for having two first names.

This is a guy who worships Josh Allen.

Yeah, exactly.

Made that.

Gets you pretty quick, didn't it.

What do you get you got anything against Roger Craig.

I watched that documentary, by the way, not to get off topic, it's very good.

What documentary?

Oh, I was thinking Jim Craig for a second.

I'm sorry, it's the Miracle documentary I watched.

Oh you watched the.

Latest watched it over the weekend.

That was fantastic.

The Netflix one Boys of eighty right, Yeah, it was cool.

They got him all back together.

They got him in the I think it was about fifteen of them.

They got him in the arena sitting on the bench watching highlights on the jumbo.

Oh yeah, it was it was good.

It was good.

Tears in my eyes.

So Dereck Thomas seven sacks in one game and he did die.

Did anyone look at that he died?

Yes?

Yeah, it was a car crush.

He was going to an NFC championship game.

Oh man, what he was on his way to the airport or something like.

He was already retired, right, Yeah.

It's two thousand, So he wanted to watch the Rams and Buccaneers play, and so he was going to the airport in a snowstorm.

Only that's terrible.

Only three times since Derek Thomas set that record, only three times did a player come within one and a half sacks of his record, And one of the three times it was Derek Thomas himself, who had six sacks in a nineteen hundred and ninety eight game against the Oakland Raiders ball club.

With the ball club that holds the record for the most consecutive road wins by an NFL team.

I'm gonna give you the year you'll know the team because they were brutally dominant during this time period between nineteen one hundred and eighty eight and nineteen ninety Probably Sam for San Francisco won eighteen consecutive road games during that crazy Yep, I'll give you a year.

You tell me the team, and it's pretty obvious because they were piss poor.

The team that.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers John McKay.

Most consecutive losses by an NFL team the nineteen between the seventy six and seventy seven season.

Yep, the Buccaneers.

The Buccaneers lost twenty six straight ball games.

Yeah, John McKay was the head.

Coach that may never be beaten that record.

Hell no, John McKay was so funny, dry humor.

He fully embraced what a miserable occupy.

Gosh, for sure, at the time, we can, we can, we can do it again.

After one Tampa Bay game, a reporter put a mic in John McKay's and said, what do you think of your team's execution today?

And he said, I'm in favor of it.

That's good.

Um, Well, you guys will know this one.

Most consecutive starts by a quarterback go ahead.

Brett Farv, Brett Farv.

Now you won't know this, but it's these last two are quite fascinating.

Most interceptions thrown in a.

Game, interceptions thrown in a game.

Yes, you'll know, way, you'll guess it.

In nineteen hundred and fifty, in the season opener, Chicago Cardinals quarterback Jim Hardy threw eight interceptions in a game.

Wow, you probably don't have that stand front of you, But I wonder if he had more than eight completions in the game.

I don't know.

They were just figuring out what they called then the forward pass.

Yes, back in nineteen fifty, and Jim Hardy was not very good at it.

He threw eight interceptions in a game, and he was a professional all And what's really funny is I saw a picture of Jim Hardy.

I'm sure.

I mean, I'm guessing the man is passed by now, oh yeah.

But I saw a picture of him when he was older than the Hills and he's he's got the game ball from that game where he threw and he's still smiling like a son of a bitch he was.

I wonder how many other possessions of the team his team had in that game, because there's a lot of games where teams don't even get eight possessions, right, right, Okay, I found.

A stat line from that game is against the Eagles.

He was twelve of thirty nine passing for one hundred and ninety three yards and eight interceptions.

Man, wow, you got a problem with Derek Thomas Dana you don't like two first names.

I really buried myself.

There didn't.

Ah, it can happen.

Oh and finally, the player with the most points in a quarter, I'll get there.

That didn't make any sense what I just said.

The player with the most point scored in a single quarter, in a quarter, that's right.

Wow, you'll know the name.

Packers wide receiver Don Hudson scoring oh sure, twenty nine points all by himself in a single quarter.

He caught four touchdowns.

He was also a kicker, and he kicked five extra points points all by himself.

So I'm looking at Jim Hardy's stat lines from the nineteen fifty season.

They played thirteen games.

The eight interception game came in Week two, and then Week thirteen, final game of the season at Steelers, he was going for his own record.

He threw five Yeah, well, of course, of course, the one record that will never be broken is Paul Krauss.

That record of interceptions in a career at eighty one will never ever be broken.

Here's some concerning news.

Lou Holtz has reportedly gone into hospice care yep at eighty nine years old.

Yep.

Kind of a polarizing figure.

But boy, he was loved in Minnesota when he came here for that short period.

He's had a lot of fun for that hour and a half he was in town.

I'll tell you what I've never I can remember his first spring game at the Metrodome.

It was sold out.

The Metrodome was sold out for a Gopher spring game, the first one that Lou coached.

Yeah, Ricky foggy yep, amazing.

Did you guys know this?

Okay.

We're also coming up on the Winter Olympics will finally begin Friday.

We've been talking up and down this way and that about the Olympics.

In the history now of the Winter Olympics, the United States has never medaled in the biathlon event.

That's the shooting and skiing event.

Correct, that's right, They've won medals zero times.

It's a reference to an old song that Josh and I used to like to listen to.

In the history of the Winter Olympics, the United States has never meddled in the biathl It makes sense to me.

You ever try to talk someone into cross country skiing?

No, I never liked that.

Snowshoeing.

Oh, we never had to do that, But I liked snowshoeing a lot.

That has got to That has got to be in the top five most miserable activities known to man.

Skiing uphill?

Who's freaking idea was that?

So?

I mean, I can understand.

How are you supposed to talk a thirteen year old kid?

Right?

If you want an Olympic champion, you got to start young.

How the hell do you talk a twelve year old kid into cross country skiing when all of his friends are flying downhill on snowboards and downhill skis.

That looks more fun.

I'll tell you what, Josh.

I'd rather be a judge at an all Ska Battle of the Band.

I'd rather enter a swing dancing competition than cross country ski.

Yeah.

I hope to never do that again.

I remember the gym teachers weren't too fired up about it either.

Trying to get all the kids in the equipment and stuff, and you got like forty minutes.

To do it, and they were fifty Yeah exactly, you were eleven.

Uh huh.

And they got to follow you around on those cross country skis.

They were exhaust Kids are falling over, falling out of their skis, getting tangled.

It was a mess.

So I don't think it'll Speaking of unbreakable records, there's no way we're ever going to meddle in the biathlon.

And I'm I think I'm kind of proud of that really as an American.

Yeah, me too, because that would that would mean that that somehow, somehow this country is focusing on cross country skiing and I'm against that one.

Now, just the biathlon, but some of these Winter Olympic events.

I wondered, like, how do people get into this?

You know, none of my friends, even Minnesota, had aspirations like I'm gonna become a bobsletter, you know, I don't know.

Yeah, part that does look cool, though.

I got into it as a kid.

I used to love watch.

You know.

It wasn't that long ago we were talking about this Bob sledter that I got naked with him in Jamaica.

He's a local guy, won medals as a bobsledter, and then we went to Jamaica together and the two of us got naked.

Josh refused to get naked with us.

I don't do that.

It's rude of you, Josh.

If I remember, we asked him, how in the hell does a kid from Shakapie or wherever he was originally from, how do you get into that?

And I think he said he was an excellent skier and he may have had some Olympic aspirations, but he finished like one hundred and twentieth, right, yeah, And someone on the someone on the Olympic committee pulled him aside and said, hey, look, nobody wants to ride in this bob sledge.

Are you up for it?

And he said sure, he was a natural.

Yeah that.

I read something one time too about how bob slutters.

It's not like they start young.

And there's a lot of the really successful ones that come from other sports.

Yeah you know, I mean like remember herschel Hershael Walker.

Yeah, Oh, I forgot about the Walker.

After football, you got into bob sledding.

I think if you're fast and you're strong and got some balance, they can probably teach you how to.

Drive them, because there's there's there's different jobs for the four guys in the sled, right, and I think Herschel was the pusher.

He was one of the pushers, so he jumped in last or was whatever it was.

But yeah, HVAC delivery Jesus.

Nick reminds us of there was a great story that came out of cross country skiing.

Remember when the guy got frostbite on his penis?

Oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah.

That was a cross country a couple of years back.

Good memory, one of the one of the past Olympics.

It was so stinking cold, and they wear those rubber suits.

They look like wear nothing at all.

Yeah, they look like their background dancers for a Vegas show.

You know, these cross counts.

Three skiers, very thin material, and the dude frozes pecker off.

Frostbite almost just about killed the guy.

Brad mentioned that, you know, kids don't start out as Bob sletters.

I'm not picturing what a disaster little League Bob sledding would be.

All right, here you go, kids shove them down the track.

I want to see it.

Yeah, that would be There would be no survivor.

Now, yeah, yeah, but but, but the cool parents are the ones that create the bob sled track in the big backyard.

Those are the cool parents.

Huh.

So this guy that we knew, Yeah, he pretty much said he became a Bob sletter because no one else wanted to do it and.

You guys got naked to get Yeah.

I wouldn't do that and I was in the shape of my life at that time.

We got naked.

Do you regret not getting naked?

Josh, Nope, No, I don't do that.

How about this.

Now there's a German bob sledter who will be racing at this year's Olympics, their third trip to the Winter Games.

Don't you know this?

Yere Bob's Letter paid for the trip to Italy with their sexy only fans page.

The German bobsletter goes by the name of Heinrich beer Wagon.

I'm kidding, Uh, they said, cubby.

They say it looks like a Pringles can.

Oh on Henrick Beer No, it's Her name is Lisa Buckwitz, gorgeous.

She's a Bob's Letter for Germany, but she also has an only fans page.

Ski.

Many of the athletes have to foot the bill if they want to if they want to compete.

She said this about her only fans set up.

She said, I will definitely not show myself naked.

And what are you showing?

She's got some risk photos on there.

I keep in mind Cubby's definition of risk.

That's true sports bar what some people call a bikini.

Not even in a bikini.

She's got a brass trap showing out of her tank top.

Ashley.

She looks absolutely built like she definitely works out like way too much.

But well, I guess that wasn't meant to be an insult.

By the way, do you have to be like extremely physically fit to be a bob setter?

I have no idea.

The other direction.

Yeahs too much, I did.

I didn't mean it like that.

If you're pushing that thing down and you want to get the maximum speed before you jump in, yeah.

Push, I mean she could kick all of our assets.

Why do you keep saying pushing.

They're sliding down a mountain of ice.

We got to push it to get it going, to get started.

It's like four and a half seconds when they're pushing the damn thing.

Oh yeah, but every second matter though.

That's not the way I see it.

It's not.

They don't time it.

It's judged.

There's a judge at the bottom of the.

Condition from being an Olympic athlete to a Bob sletter Lolo Jones, I mean you remember, yeah, I heard that name.

Yeah.

I mean she's an Olympia, an Olympic track and field athlete, and now she's a Bob sletters.

Bob's letters are a bunch of slobs anyway, a bunch of horrors.

They take it for anybody they can get them.

Is this for real?

It says here every athlete who's representing the United States at this year's Winter Olympics will be receiving a two hundred thousand dollars gift from Miami Dolphins owner Steven Ross.

Whoever that is.

He's very sympathetic to their financial situation, some of them, not all of them, but some of them.

Like I said, they have to pay their way.

He's given everybody on, every Olympic athlete two hundred thousand dollars.

Maybe he's a billionaire.

I'm assuming I'll be dead.

Does he even put a dent in his bank account?

I should have tried harder to get the olymp This here.

I think you're a past your prime there pal.

Curly maybe yeah, although I tried that once.

It was a disaster.

Oh yeah, you told us about that.

My hamstringers are ripped in half doing what curling?

Oh yeah, it doesn't seem like it would be that difficult, I guess.

But I thought the same thing.

I was talking a big game.

It was one of those things where they had the radio station out, you know, hay, let's make a video of the radio Dorics promoting the Saint Paul Curling Club.

So I was talking a big game and I couldn't even get down in the position.

I was so not flexible enough.

I want to be one of the people that makes the ice smooth.

Like.

Yeah, I don't get that whole curling operation at all.

But you can ask my wife.

The last time they pulled off this Winter Olympics whenever, that was five years ago?

Huh?

Four years ago?

I'm guessing, well that's how they that's how they used to do it.

I thought it was more recent than that.

Really, Oh it's four years.

Oh okay, two years between the summer and the winter.

But I thought there was It doesn't matter.

Yeah, the last time they went through with this Olympics operation, I fell absolutely in love with the Japanese Lady curling team.

I could not stop watching them.

I was in love love.

I said, I'm gonna I'm gonna guess it was because it wasn't because of their curling.

No, I had no idea what I was looking at.

Curls.

There's a lady that was sweeping something I did.

I don't understand word one about that sport, but I just those women were just so stunning.

I remember when you found out about Girl sand Beach volleyball and how I mean that almost ruined you.

That Russian twerk team.

That was another Oh, Miss Brazilian bum Bum.

Contest, the Miss Bumbum competition.

The Man Bear Pigs beat ed Mental by four goals up in Alberta this past Saturday night, taking away job su.

Wow.

Yeah, he's choking.

He's gotten attacked by Flem today.

Everything's coming up as sickness is coming.

That's the problem.

There is no Flem sounds like it was.

If there's a If this was a productive cough, i'd be excited about it.

But it's just a dry I started smoking cigarettes.

Good for you tonight.

The Pigs play at home against le Abbiton and those two clubs put together a really well played, tight hockey game last time around.

I imagine they'll get a good crowd for that one tonight, pigs in lea abbitone.

Is that a normal start time?

I think so six thirty.

Oh yeah, that's perfect.

Oh earlier I had to I wanted to call this out and we got to get going here in a little while.

We talked about something earlier that Josh and I feel was set up.

Two boxers got in the ring over the weekend at Madison Square Garden, heavyweight boxers.

I'd never heard of either one of them, but you don't hear much about boxing anymore.

Maybe they're big stars.

I don't think so.

Two guys are boxing each other.

One guy punched the two pay smooth off of his opponent's head.

What's going on with Drell Miller's hair?

By the way, is it coming off?

What is happening here?

It is?

Okay?

So the video is very funny.

You can catch it on our website.

One guy punches the other one in the head a couple of times, and his two pay falls off of his head.

I think Josh agrees this was a setup.

I think these guys set this up.

Beforehand, just to get on YouTube and get a few people interested in boxing.

Because the two pay was so poorly placed on this man's head, he likely would have lost it playing cribbage, for Christ's sake.

But he wears it.

He wears it in a box.

What's gonna happen?

It was just dumb.

It was funny, but it was also I think it was pretty funny, though I also think there was a setup.

Now, state of hockey, here we go, my ass.

I doubt anyone in the room was aware of the fact that there was an There was an NHL outdoor game last night.

Yes, oh yeah.

Did you talk about the fight between the goalies.

Yes, I believe that was also a setup.

I I believe that was agreed upon before the hockey game that the goalies would meet at center ice and have a four and a half second fight.

It was really there was nothing to it.

Yeah, they're taking notes from the WWE and setting things up.

Yeah, And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

I want to be clear that that's okay.

It's okay if you want to set up a fight, if you want to get a good cheap pop from the crowd, go ahead.

But I just don't think there was anything legitimate about that fight last night between the two goaltenders.

It was Tampa Bay and Boston.

You know, I've read dozens and dozens of stories the last few years saying that nobody, and I mean nobody watches the outdoor games anymore.

So I think these goalies decided, hey, let's let's get someone talking about.

Especially an outdoor game in Tampa.

Right, So, uh, what the hell is this?

Oh?

Oh, it's been a while since we talked about the dudes Golden Gopher Hockey club, but they swept Wisconsin over the weekend.

So you know, word up to those boys.

Anytime you can get Bucky Badger to each you'll get a mention on this year radio show, Go Gover Cann't that work?

Timberwolves whooped Memphis Saturday night.

Those same two clubs play in Tennessee tonight.

Very disappointing loss for the Gopher men's basketball team to Penn State.

Yeah, then now seven in the row sins.

Brad said, you know, if they can ride off a couple, they got this serious turn aspiration.

Yeah yeah, yeah, this job Bred.

I'll stick with my theory, but yeah, good dreams.

Bred they lost yesterday in Pennsylvania.

I think that was Penn State's first big ten win, wasn't it.

I know that Penn State had lost eight in a row themselves going into the So yeah, seven losses in a row.

It was a heartbreaker.

Kid from Penn State made a layup with zero point zero zero point nine.

Next up, the boys will play Michigan State here in town Wednesday.

Seven losses in a row.

Five of those losses have been by four points or fewer.

Dang, yeah, yeah, and they lost a couple of clos before that was one.

You think they could pull out right a one a little bit more.

But yeah, excuse it.

Since Montreal Canadians are in town.

That's my I can speak a little French, like the time Josh and I were both race car drivers in formula formula.

Oh he said in that movie?

What was that movie?

Talladega Knights?

A little baseball something or another here for you if you care.

Luisa Rise has agreed to a deal with the San Francisco Giants.

Yep, it's gonna play second base for him.

M Well that ought to be something.

What the hell else is going on?

I think you covered it?

Busy weekend what was a busy weekend for the love of Pete.

Yeah, so uh you boys, I hope you don't catch this cold that I have.

It's going around.

Everybody thinking about coming in the studio one day last week.

But after you guys got sick, everybody's said that would have been a bad idea.

The cubby says, the whole building is just a vomit bag.

Right now.

My kids home from school today.

He's got a couple buddies, same thing.

Everybody's got some wonderful stay healthy Brad writer Randy Shaver.

We'll talk to you boys soon.

See it.

Appreciate it.

Half Fast Morning shown three x.

Poor timing right there, poor timing.

It's wonderful, absolutely wonderful to be coming to you live here on this yere Monday morning.

Look at you, just look at you.

You're beautiful.

Welcome back to the ninety three X Half Fast Morning Show.

Oh cripes, you know, Josh, I got a Broski.

I got a friend of all the candy in the world.

His absolute favorite are the Sweethearts candy that folks end up trading back and forth come Valentine's Day.

Well, I like it, but that's weird.

I've never heard some but say.

That before the little Hearts.

Everyone knows what I'm talking about.

Not just the whimsy of the sayings.

It's actually just like he just wants to eat them up.

I bet he's never experienced any of the whimsy.

He's not a whimsical person.

I always hope the girl would give me one that was like, I think you're cute or something like that.

I know they specifically pulled out the your cutes and everything.

Mine were just more banal, like whatever.

Now, this cat, he just loves candy, junk food in general.

His other because this is something he does talk about quite a bit, snacks candy.

The other candy that he loves are the old fashioned lollies, but like the the loop, just a little stick and there's a powdery candy ball all on the top.

Oh yeah, that's what we call.

Them, were Lolli's this sweetheart.

Yes, it's kind of like a sweetheart sucker.

Yeah, so good.

I found that strange.

Also, like you said, Ashley, I like candy too, just as much as the next guy.

I never thought that anyone's favorite would be those little sweethearts candies.

No, but he's an odd dude.

Have you heard what's going on with this?

Now?

Sweethearts Candy have announced a new line of what they call here the practical conversation Hearts for Valentine's Day.

Yeah, they had to change it to conversation hearts years ago.

Well, what did it used to be?

What was it used to I can't remember.

I always thought it was just a conversation art.

We've called them something different, Okay, okay, so it changed over to conversation hearts.

Sweet Hearts Candy now has a new line of practical conversation hearts for Valentine's Day, and they're gearing them towards the young people.

So in the old days they would say marry me, qutie pie, things like that.

This is for the younger people.

There are new hearts that you can find in the bag, and it tells me these sayings apply to dating in the year twenty and twenty six.

The five new messages are split, rent carpool, buy bulk, cook for two, and share log in.

That's a big one these days.

All of that is a signed how poor we all are now?

I know.

It's actually kind of depressing.

Yeah, there is a theme there, you're right.

Buy in bulk though, I on that quick.

That's been like an argument.

Lately, young people are doing a lot of buying in bulk, Like, what's the argument, what's the argument?

I don't know what's wrong with me, but for some reason, say I'm in the paper towel aisle.

I know that I'm gonna need paper towels for a while.

There's never gonna be a time where I don't need paper towels, but I still won't buy the biggest pack you can buy, Like I can buy it.

I've got the money too, But in my head, I'm I think I'm like spending more money just I don't know.

I'd rather spend smaller amounts of money separate times instead of saving money by spending a lot at once.

I like to do bulk, so you just don't have to go shopping it right, Yeah.

Well I love going to the store, so maybe that has something to do with it.

But my husband's getting mad at me because he's like, just buy the whole big roll of paper towels or fill your guest take up all the way they have to do twenty bucks.

Yeah, it frustrates the heck out of them.

And I thought maybe I got it for my parents.

I asked them, and they're like, no, we've always bought bulk.

We don't know what's wrong with you either.

I guess I've never I've never known the definition of buying in bulk.

So that just means you're buying the biggest like larger amounts, the biggest addition.

We're not talking when when I've heard buy in bulk before, I'm picturing folks who need the guy at Sam's Club to go get the forklift because they're getting seventy six cases of baked beans.

No, buying in bulk would be simply you just going to Sam's Club or Costco, like those are big bulk places.

So but if I get the twelve pack of paper towels over the four pack.

And I buying in bulk, yeah sure, oh okay, and you're spending less parole of paper towels.

I've never never paid attention to the definition.

Okay, yeah, you got to pay attention to your LPRs when you're buying paper, paper towels and things like that.

Is that something that costco executive members?

Okay, I'm sorry, less par role, less per role, So uh, there you go.

The new candid hearts, conversation hearts for Valentine's Day.

We'll have these hip twenty and twenty six little slogans on it to appeal to the younger people.

They say that these sayings apply to dating in twenty and twenty six.

This line of candid hearts is called the Love in This Economy collection, And a poll did say that here in America, eighty percent of us.

What does this say?

Money worries are affecting Valentine's Day for eighty percent of us.

Well, I've never been in a relationship where we blew the doors off the joint for Valentine's Deck.

I know some is some of you are up against it, where if you don't have a laser light show and your monkeys are doing backflips and a beautiful meal and jewelry, you're going to be in the house for summer.

I've never been a part of that scene.

So I make dinner like a home made for four course meal for Valentine's Day.

Yeah, and I have a lot of fun doing it.

So but it's not like, you know, crazy expensive.

It's more expensive than the average dinner, but try to keep it simple.

I thought the mean conversation hearts were pretty funny, stuff like f you bite me, drop dead?

Not today like that, go away, eat ass, get lost.

It'd be so sad though, if you were like in school and the kids were giving those out, I'd be terrified.

Pick your enemies.

I can still find a bag of those somewheres.

Yeah, you can get those, Ben Franklin, your kids.

Still do that at school, pass out Valentine's.

I don't think you can give out food stuff.

The rules have changed.

I used to love that getting home from school and then I would sit in the middle of the living room and show my parents every single Valentine I got.

Yeah, it wouldn't take too long in my case, fell the by like roses in high school.

Oh yeah, jah, Wait, Josh, when you were in school, it was optional, like who you wanted to give Valentines to?

When I was in school, you had to get one for everybody.

No, it was optional back then.

Ouch, yeah, jos, I got some Ralph Wagham stuff right there.

We could go back in time.

I would make sure your Valentine's box was full.

Oh, you're very kind.

Did you really never get one Valentine in grade school?

One or two?

But like from Buddy say an f you or something.

Your aunt stopped by and filled out.

Grandma showed up.

My heart hurts for you.

She gave me like a Kmart coop on.

Yeah, it was.

It was a cold vibe.

Back then.

It was you're loved or you're not, and deal with it one way or the other.

Yeah, I remember that in grade school.

We didn't do it in junior high.

But in grade school.

I mean maybe your school had the same setup.

We called them Herta grams.

I think, yes, hearta Grahams.

So if I loved Tina, I'd get myself a heartagram and write or something sexy and uh put it in the Tina pile.

Folks are saying they do still hand out Valentines at elementary school.

Oh good, I'm glad.

Yeah, But now that you're bringing it up, those were stressful.

Oh yeah, I hated that day.

Somewhat stressful days because you know, you walked up to your pile and you sure hoped there was a decent stack of them.

Sorry, I was just going to say, deciding who to give them to and what you're gonna run.

Oh I knew who I was giving them to.

I had how they were going to respond.

There were two girls at my grade school who I oh, I knew I was filling them out a heart agram.

I was such a loser, I used to I always loved Valentine's Day.

I used to make like Valentines desserts, cupcakes or brownies or whatever to bring to school the next day to give out to people.

I'm talking like.

Middle school, so la.

Not in high school.

Of course, there was that kissing gimmick.

I think maybe we called them kiss Ograham's, where like, let's say I had a crush on Smashly, I would send her a kiss a gram.

I'd fill it out too, Smashly from daddy.

I probably would have referred to myself as and hand it in.

And then a group of ten twelve dudes would rush into your classroom and wearing lipstick and they'd kiss the hell out of you.

That's crazy, And you would see that it was from me, which then you knew that you know, I wanted to I wanted to party with you.

This reminds me of something I was talking to somebody about the other day.

Uh.

We had sex bracelets.

Oh in middle school?

Did you ever know hit those Daana?

No?

So they were like these little rubber bracelets, and they were really easy to break, so you could just walk up to somebody and you know, grab the bracelet, break And.

So all the different colors had different meanings.

So black would be that was, you know, as far.

As you could go that.

No, no, I don't, I can't.

That would be brown anal one.

But black was sex because of course, and then there's everything else in between.

You know, Yeah, meant to bej red meant a spank on the ass.

So what you're saying is, if you wanted to have sex with a guy at your high school, everyone's wearing the bracelets, Yep, you'd walk up and crack the black one off his wrist, and that meant you wanted to fold him.

Yeah, exactly.

If you wanted just to dump a dry HJ on a guy in the parking lot, there was a color for that.

Yeah.

And I asked my husband because I mean he's only he only graduated two years before me or one year, I can't remember, and he said.

Said, you ever use those or play that game?

And he said no, because I'm not a slut.

I've never heard of that.

I was like, wow, sorry, we didn't play that game?

No, Well, you missed out.

Back in our day, if you wanted to have sex with someone, you just had to find a way to tell him.

Kiss a grams.

Got a few people texting in.

They had the kiss agrams at their high school.

Oh it was just a mess after a while.

I mean, if you got a lot of them, you know, the girls would come in and kiss the guys.

The guys would come in and kiss the girls.

If you got a lot of them, your face just looked like a herpie after three hours.

Of Were the kissers attractive?

Oh?

Sure, I mean so it'd be like it'd be nice to be kissed by them.

Well, I mean not all of them.

I mean, you know what does this say?

Wow?

So much has changed?

A listener texted in to say at his granddaughter's grade school, they weren't allowed to play tag because someone might be tagged too hard.

Oh yeah, yeah, a lot of that's changed.

It even happened.

I was a kid when we played dodgeball.

You had to roll the ball.

You weren't allowed to throw it.

Yeah, dodgeball, for god, some schools still do it.

But I know, like, yeah, that went away for a little bit for that reason.

I got enraged once I rolled the all the kid and he saw it coming, so he let it go between his legs.

He went like Nana, Nana, boo boo.

So I just picked him up and just smoked the kids.

Glasses were flying.

We couldn't have been more violent with each other in Jim class.

Oh my god.

We were violent with each other no matter what the game was, We found a way to hurt somebody.

I hated that as a girl.

I hated with Jim class because all the dudes would just go way too hard.

You guys have dodgeball when you were growing up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah they were.

I mean there were soft, like nerf like kind of balls.

But you're not gonna like this, Dana.

But one day, probably because we were playing soccer, and it put me in big Al in a bad mood right away that we had to play soccer, we cheap shoted Wang so terribly.

Nina's got a soft spot for my bro Wang.

I do big Al and I cheap shot and Wang so badly.

He should have been hospitalized.

I ever forget him looking at us like why that's how we were friends.

We were so uninterested in playing soccer we wanted to be kicked out.

Yeah, so we waited for Wang to get the ball, and we just blasted that sorry son of a bitch.

You're right in the jaw.

It's as hard as we could have.

Ass money show.

Sake, we are about ready to disco dance our way out of this nightmare in a minute or two.

We'll be back tomorrow at five point forty.

If any of us has to well make a pit stop on the way home to cut a turd, you should probably know about the crapper Mapper.

Now, this is nothing new as far as I know.

I thought a few years ago we heard about a website you can jump on that'll tell you about the best public bathrooms in your neighborhood.

Okay, so, as far as I know, this isn't a brand new gimmick, but a dude who calls himself the crapper Mapper has a social media thing happening now where he reviews public bathrooms and tells you how wonderful or brutal they are.

So if you're on your way home today and you've got to make a pit stop, maybe look up the crapper Mapper.

Are people still using poop maps?

I haven't heard about it.

Yeah, which one was that again for a while where you would basically drop a pin quote unquote any place you went, and then you'd share that with like you would share your location other people on the app, so they can say, hey, I pooped there as well pay all the different places you poop well bonding thing.

Yeah, it's one of the strangest apps out there, but I know a few people who kind of got into it for a while.

My buddies and I never ever have been the share a picture of your poop people.

If you talked about that, it's disgusting, but we do sometimes if you're taking a bathroom, you know, go to the bathroom and public toilet, you know, we'll send it like a point of view picture.

You know.

I'll take a picture of the stall and say, hey, I'm at the Saint claud Burger king rate this stall, and they kind of judge the ambiance and rate it.

It's kind of something stilly we do.

Do you check for reflections?

I hope, Oh yeah, of course.

Yeah.

I'd be terrified inadvertently sending something and you.

And your pals will rate a stall in particular.

So this guy, I believe he calls his little gimmick the dump report.

He he must come from money or something because he has the ability to wander America and rate public bathrooms wherever he goes gives him an overall rating.

He just simply reviews the bathroom.

There's no footage as far as I know, of him actually pressing out a dump.

That would be horrible and I wouldn't be telling you about it if if.

That's what he did, Yeah, I'd stay away from that.

I think he just rates the cleanliness, how close the bathroom is to the front door.

I guess that would benefit some of you folks who suffer from code Browns.

Definitely, the style of toilets and sinks, the availability of paper seat covers.

Never used a paper seat cover.

That's for sissies.

Are they even around?

I guess I just don't pay attention, right, I just don't check.

I see him at the Mall of America in the airport.

I like to feel it, you know, you want to feel those hot buns from before it.

Don't put that in between.

The guy is very thorough.

I mean, I'm not even done yet as far as what this guy looks into and rates when he's in a public bathroom.

How many stoles, how spacious.

They are water pressure.

So there's an app available called the crapper Mapper where you can get your dump report.

There's a few people saying they do still use poop maps, do they?

Yeah, so I guess that's still kind of popular.

Keeping the dream alive.

Huh.

I'm you know, I'm cool going wherever.

Oh yeah, yeah.

I don't think I'll make an extra you know, drive an extra mile to get to a better bathroom.

Noah.

If I have to use the restroom, I have to use the restroom.

Right.

I have had many, many, many, many, many, many desperate moments.

Not lately, my system has greatly improved.

It's been a long time.

Actually, I'm happy to say, since I had to worry about racing my car into a gas station parking lot and praying there's an available stall, I'm very happy that those days have come and gone.

So he does have some local joints here that he has rated.

He's from Kansas City, but at one point or another he made his way up to these parts.

He went ahead with a five turds out of five, not stars.

He rates it by turds five out of five for a gas station in Albertville.

Love's gas station in Albertville.

Some of you is, I'm sure are very familiar.

Huh.

I never went to the Love, so I'd always hit up the quick trip there.

They have a nice bathroom too.

His only and he still gave it five turns out of five.

His only criticism I guess of Love's gas station in Albertville that it is that it did not have a bedet.

I've never seen a public bathroom bedet.

No on me either, I bet that would be absolutely vile.

The first time I had a today was at a restaurant.

Really yeah.

It was a pad type place, and I was on a date actually, and I only had to pee, but the one yearninal was taken.

So I went and sat on the toilet and I noticed it and I started playing with it, and you can mess with the temperature and stuff.

I'm sitting there for way too long, and then I realized, like she must think I'm just taking a hollacious dump right now, because I was in there just messed.

Around with it.

It's kind of fun.

It's almost like a game.

I had like this big control panels if it was like a I don't know, like some type of like your.

Car dashboard or something you sat to Pete.

Yeah, finally a man after my own taste.

Yeah, I know.

I know that's your game, Josh, and I've been doing it more and more as I get older.

I'm just kidding about mine.

Oh from time to time.

That's a joke.

Ah, dang it.

Like super tired, a.

Listener is texted into guests that maybe the crapper mapper isn't over the road truck driver could be.

Oh yeah, that's a very good guess.

I don't know.

He didn't have great things to say about the stalls, well that's not the correct term.

The bathrooms.

He didn't have great things to say about the bathrooms at the Mall of America.

I understand.

He only gave them a two turds out of five.

Didn't like the smell, he said, Uh.

Yeah, a lot of people coming in and out from all different roles.

I mean, yeah, that's difficult.

It's like an airport bathroom, right.

Yes, that's tough to maintain.

There's really no way you can control that.

That environment.

My god, the amount of people racing in and out of there, and there's a joint and wiseada called Benedict's I'm familiar with Benedicts.

That's my hometown.

They got a five turds out of five review.

So far, five hundred bathrooms have been ranked in the United States.

This guy is man picking up steam and I'm not trying to be cute with that.

We gotta get going.

But I had such a great experience in the Mall of America bathroom a couple of years ago.

I walked in there to take a squeege and as I'm standing there, two young dudes walked in, and I was so thoroughly entertained by their conversation.

Two young dudes walked in and everything that they said to each other ended with the word ho.

So they the guy's like, would you skip class today?

Ho?

And he's like, yeah, Ho, Well who do you have fourth hour?

Ho?

Well, missus Johnson Hope.

Oh yeah, she you mean bitch?

Ho?

Yeah?

She is Ho?

Right, And I'm got my d in my hand taking a whisp.

I'm just smiling ear to ear because this is so funny.

And the icing on the cake was one of them goes into the stall to take a deuce and I hear him rattling around the toilet paper receptacle, right yeah, and he says this out loud while his buddy's on the outside of the stall, obviously, and so am I.

He's rattling around and he says, where's the toilet paper?

Ho, I'm gonna be doing that all day, Hope.

I just told myself this.

I'm a lucky guy that I got to overhear.

We gotta get the hell out of here.

Happy birthday to Molly turning the Big O nine from your driving me nuts Jesus to clean, to clean, seal coating Jesus shouting out his daughter Haley on her seventeenth birthday.

Happy Birthday to Tinker Jesus from Ohio, Moose stuff Jesus, And Happy twenty ninth to asphalt Cowboy Jesus from Lil Mah.

Jesus