Welcome to men, sex and tantra.

Discover where your parents, porn and religion never taught you about being a man and having extraordinary sex.

Get ready to have your mind blown and your world rocked.

All right, all right, we are back.

And of course, you know, why do is it that I always pick really handsome men to interview you guys?

I got an email from one of you all that basically said, I'm objectifying.

Oh let's see what else have I been told I'm objectifying.

I'm doing lots of bad PC moves when I say this, But I think what I'm really mean by it is that there's so many times I hear women other people saying that handsome men or good looking men are somehow assholes and players and out to do horrific things to all of us, narcissists blah blah blah.

And so really I think I'm dispelling that whole thing because the maturity of men that I have on here, yeah, absolutely are so conscious, kind and really looking to benefit the world, and especially like becoming more becoming more considerate, becoming more kind, becoming more awakened.

So I'm just dispelling that myth.

And yes, okay, yes, potentially I am objectifying, all right, So anyway, with that all said, today I've got j Matthias Bennett, because there is only one Jay Matthias Bennett, so let's be clear about that as my guest.

And we met a cliche.

We met on a Facebook but interestingly enough, the only person who ever noticed that I had Sanskrit written on the tattooed on the outside of my hands and actually read one of them.

So it's a kind of a unique interesting experience.

So, hey, Matthias, what do you want to tell about?

What do you want to tell the audience about who you are, what you do?

Yeah, thank you, it's a pleasure to be here speaking with you today.

And yeah, I love to support visionaries, which is something that I've done for boy, it seems like going on fifteen years now, in the last five years that's been specifically around in and around the regenerative spaces, and I seem to attract those kinds of visionaries and entrepreneurs that don't just have one project, but who seem to be stewarding let's put it in air quotes, ecosystems worth of projects, so number of different projects that are independent but also work together and I think that, at least for me, that reflects an overall trend and shift from creating let's just call it very hierarchical organizations, two more community based, and let's just say, you know, network style organizations.

But yeah, that's uh, that's that's kind of me.

I'm I'm you could say I'm a little bit of the intersection between tech, between spirituality, regeneration, and leadership.

Awesome.

And for people who might be confused about the idea of regeneration regenerative, how do you nutshell.

At yep, nutshell, We all know about sustainability.

It's basically just doing less bad.

Okay, so but the idea of regeneration, and you know, there's some regenerative practitioners who think that that term has already jumped the shark.

But but regeneration is essentially working with nature to be able to support nature in doing what it's already doing.

So we don't just do less bad.

We actually help regenerate the planet and help regreen ecosystems, supporting biodiversity, rewilding, and on the way there, we support human health and vitality and thriving.

All right, I love that absolutely, because yeah, do less bad.

You know, there's a lot of interpretation that can be made with that, but actually landing the plane on that.

Yeah, And so some people might wonder, wow, okay, this sounds like an interesting guest, and wonder what they're going to talk about, and how will this all end up being about sex, men and tantra well as any of you know, if you've listened to my show at all, there is nothing that can be talked about.

And I don't like the word nothing because it doesn't actually exist.

That's a segue.

Everything can be turned into sex.

Absolutely one of the core premises of why we're alive.

I can take a golf a client who teaches golf and turn it into sex.

So metaphorically all right, So what we want to jump into is one of your One of the We've had this conversation a little bit and everybody, I swear it's probably the most talked about thing ever.

Is this idea of life purpose, Like, what the hell is my life purpose?

And when it comes to men, most of us are told, and I've experienced this that if a man doesn't actually have a purpose and pursue his purpose, he actually will tank.

Relationships cannot sustain relationships long term in a healthy way if he doesn't feel like he has or his own purpose, because it actually ends up meaning more than love, sex and other things.

So what's your take on that?

I agree, I think that's that's right on for me.

It's been interesting because, you know, speaking about sex and contra, I actually had like lifetimes of lifetime's worth of information being downloaded into my consciousness over three years, part of which actually had to do with like sex and relationships and consciousness and and and TNTRA.

And then basically shortly after that, I was basically clear that I needed to devote my life's purpose to the divine and to be in service to what God was calling me calling me into.

And that also and what I cannot often share around leading from courageous vulnerability.

So I mean some additional color is in twenty eleven and I asked myself, what do I truly need to be a happy human?

And then I moved to a friend's land on an island and slept in a tent for a year.

We did work trade and I received these principles of leading from courageous vulnerability.

And then I had an opportunity to share those throughout various ways around the world.

Most notably, I was three years in Morocco and helped start an organization, two organizations that to date have served fifty seven thousand young entrepreneurs there.

So I've always been, at least especially since since then, really been focused on that purpose, which I'm you know, which wish I could could share if you'd like, but having that that goal to kind of help orient for myself to determine, Okay, well, what's in alignment with this and what's not?

What are the actions that are in alignment, what are the people that are in alignment, and what's not.

It's like trying to navigate without a compass or even without a direction, right, even if you don't have a compass, if you've got a direction, you can even if it's not a particular destination.

Even if you have a direction, then you can start walking in a way that's not walk any in circles.

Yeah, okay, so we can just like make it be the absolute premise that men need a purpose.

We'll just like say that as a carte blanche kind of statement there, And then why do you think it's so difficult for most men to understand what a purpose is because I mean, like that word overused a lot of the time, so much confusion around it.

So you just said something about you know doesn't line up in the direction, does it not?

And so you parse your relationships, everything, everything you do that seems to be their guiding principle.

Does it align with this purpose which is like opposite of what most people do.

You know, there's a lot of opposite and I know you you know for for a while now to see that in action.

So let's explain a little bit about that.

Because there's finding your purpose, but then there's aligning and living in that purpose and making decisions from that purpose.

So one could know their purpose, oh I want to be I want to say I want to cure cancer, and then you could like make all these decisions that have nothing to do with anything related to that.

So how did you find your purpose or or that?

And then how do you stay in alignment with that purpose?

Well?

How do you make the decision to stay in that alignment?

Mmmmm great, great question.

Well, in a certain in a certain way, it's it's been in a it's been and continues to be an evolving process.

Although in terms of how did I I find it.

I guess it's maybe less about finding, maybe than revealing and uncovering.

I like that.

So I read an article.

This is actually back in two thousand and seven.

I was working at Yale University, really before I was doing like film production.

This was before I learned how to read the Akashak records in two thousand and nine and really was committed on this path of being in service to leaders in this way.

And he had and still has.

I'm sure you can find it an article called how to write your Life's Purpose in about twenty minutes.

So this time it's that easy, I know.

Oh my god.

Yeah.

So I was like, oh my gosh, I read this is what I need.

So I did, and basically it is at least you know, what I came up with was my life's purpose is to support people to discover and strengthen their connectedness with themselves, others in the universe through my presence creative works of all kinds, and to contribute strategically to organizations working towards the above in alignment with the highest good of all.

Yeah, okay, and that sounds poetically beautiful.

And so then let's make it tangible, like when you're in this idea of like, okay, now you have that your purpose, there's all sorts of things coming at you.

Well, let's regard relationships since this is kind of that topic, like these things that can like pull you off, that take you away from that.

So how do you stay on the course with flexibility?

That's like we can't just be so tense about that either discipline?

Y asked devotion.

I think of devotion.

I devote to my life for sure.

How do you how do you then decide, oh, in relationship, in friendships, romance, all of that, how do you keep on track?

Then?

How do you parse that out?

How do you make It's a it's a great, great, great question, and and in a certain things like like life, uh you know one of one of uh you know, the answers that is a favorite of lawyers.

It depends.

Right and talking about right.

I think it's it's interesting and maybe some additional context.

I think also part of part of answering that question is determining of being able to under stell understand yourself and how you work.

And so for me, I act, I find that I even you know, am in a male body, and I can be I can do things in a male in a direct to male way.

I actually find that I operate in let's just call it more of a female or a mystical way where I'm tuning in to things.

I'm listening to the field about where I need to go and what I need to do.

Uh, And I'm listening and if I if I get the intuitive clarity that I need to do something, I will basically do that thing, or at least do that to the best of my ability.

You know, sometimes I might hear something and I'll be like so many times in the past and be like, oh my god, you gotta be eff and kidding me.

I mean like, is this da da da da da?

And I'll check do a confirmation question, and then I'll be like, you know, I hear yes, da da da da da.

I'm like, okay, all right, And then I'll end up doing it.

I might grumble and complain, but I invariably will do the thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And in terms of a practical well, I guess I can I can give give a way.

I would say that I'm in a I'm in a spot where I'm I'm becoming more embodied in terms of how my intuition works although I could share a way that I can get clarity, I don't know if it would be as helpful for everyone that I could could.

I can't share that for me.

Yeah, I mean yeah, practically because if not everybody on this call obviously is going to be like, oh, understand what you know embodied at this point, they may if they've been listening for a while.

I mean, it's like that is literally being in your body, not just your head.

It's literally listening to the body wisdom you have throughout.

So there's your gut and your heart and your crutch and you know, but everything in there has wisdom, your head being the least important of all of them, though, this is the one we tend to give credence to.

So if you find your purpose, and if you're lining up with your purpose, then you're asking you'll get like hits to say, oh, maybe you move here, maybe you do that, or maybe you do this, and you're checking in through your body and your intuition into that which is you said is kind of the female flow mode.

So purpose being a masculine thing, maybe the journey to the purpose has more of a feminine flow to it.

And then there are tangibles.

And what I'm what I'm really wanting to get to is you almost like Alex.

People have heard of Alex Ramosi right out in the world, and he's talked about how in relationship, whether it's friends or romance, he does not get involved with anybody that isn't in alignment with purpose.

Sure, sure, yeah, yeah, it makes sense.

And actually I've gotten perhaps a little bit more like a better way or a more specific way of reframing in terms of determining things.

I think so many people we think that it's like our journey is either created by our mind projecting things, but in so in the way the reality actually really works is that all of the universe is conspiring for our good and is giving us opportunities every freaking day to be on the path, either to continue to be on the path, to maybe do some opportunity from such a self nurture, self growth, and so the universe is is always giving I would say any one of us, every one of us, these things.

And so I would say that the differences or the distinction between let's say one person or another person is how sensitive are we to what we're actual what is actually going on in our environment and what the messages that are being sent to us already are, because I guarantee you they're already happening.

Whether it's even something as small as, hey, you know, I really need to like call this person.

They've come up into my mind twenty times and I just need to give them a call.

Or it's maybe it's like you know, the room or the junk drawer that you have been in the back of your mind that you need to like clean out and clear out and sort.

Right.

So if it's if it's not like an actual, a long term of like hey, you need to go to this city and go to this event, that's like a clear that's kind of a reach, right.

But then sometimes it's not that.

It's hey, you need to get your ducks in a row so that you can be ready to hear that that big call and then be able to actually action on it.

And I think what comes to mind is that quote, and if you remember who comes for it is like luck is opportunity plus preparedness.

Oh I like that luck is opportunity plus preparedness.

I think I'm paraphrasing that and whoever the original person is, so basically the opportunities often are are happening, They're in they're already happening, but either we can't see them, or even if we can, we maybe aren't aligned in ourself and ready to actually make the step.

Yeah, so that would tell me preparedness or this idea that always always being ready for the shift is how then I think about that, like, I agree, And opportunities aren't always like I probably have so I have my purpose.

I probably have at thirty to forty opportunities a month drop into my sphere, whether that's people opportunities, so relationship opportunities, work opportunities, fun opportunities, you know, any amount of opportunities.

They seem to be like dropping like manner from the heaven, especially when I'm really aligned, when I'm really living in the line.

And so then it becomes the not every opportunity should you take?

So that's where the decision true comes in, like does this person pull me off or elevate and support does this little side project like recently, you know, I've been writing for those of you who have not been on my Facebook.

Well, I don't like where you've been, but you need to go there because it'll be like, wow, what's going on?

Here, start back in a pril somewhere and work your way up.

But recently, because of how I've been writing and things I've been doing, I had a very famous documentarian drop in and say, hey, do you write for TV or documentaries?

And I'm like, I do you think I could?

And he goes absolutely dropped me his latest documentary.

He said, watch that, tell me what's wrong with it?

I watched it.

Should have charged him a thousand bucks to tell him what was wrong with it, but I didn't.

I just like, it took me only about five minutes.

And I said, here's the problem.

You're talking about an intimate kind of emotional topic and you're just sciencing the shit out of it.

This is what it needs.

It needs a storyline throughout it.

In every section that has somebody telling a story in the very beginning, and you're following that with the different parts through it.

I said, the reader, the listener is going to be captivated by the story, wanting to know what's next, get the science, their logic, and then back into their emotion.

I said, that's how you flow that.

And he was like, wow, now he could potentially drop in and say will you do that?

So cool?

Are you kidding?

Lind my name up ego lining my name up with a famous All the people that are on there are like everybody would know their names.

Yeah, does it pull me off my purpose?

That's like a super fun oh my god, fun one at lifetime, one of a lifetime projects.

Hmmm.

I probably will say no because I have my own stuff to write.

I have my own right.

So people float in and out of your life, that's men.

Like my writing has all of a sudden dropped men out of the woodwork.

That's usualr raining men.

And I'm like, oh, parsing out, Nope, nope any time, Nope, nope, nope, and from what not?

Because how they look?

Not because of what they do, but literally do they enhance the energy in my life?

Or do they take up space that doesn't elevate it?

And that's the thing that I noticed that you do.

As well, right, yes, yes, absolutely, yeah.

You're watching that.

You guys can't see the big smile on his face over here, but he's sitting there looking very I don't like the big smile on his face, but that is like, so I think that piece is people can have their purpose, but I don't know that they always make the decisions from that purpose.

I think they make decisions based on other things loneliness, sexual need, Oh my god, that person's hot, oh my god, whatever the hell it is.

That's an easy way to pull you away from something.

That's then people are bummed out.

You're not on your purpose anymore, and they don't find you the same way they found you when you were on your purpose.

What happened whatever, that's kind of gone because we're lighting up about who that person is when they drop into our sphere and when they change because of the relationship, especially women lose respect for men.

So from a woman's perspective, if a woman can totally pull a guy off his purpose, suddenly she doesn't find him as appealing or as so well.

Right, and you do you touch on something that.

I I don't personally resonate with, but it seems like I've seen a bunch of in just out there is you know, this idea of the idea of being a nice guy.

And if you are able to let's say, provide or to you know, if you have some money and you're kind of you know, can can support.

On materially for a woman in a relationship.

And you're like oh, yes, of course I'll do that, honey.

Then it kind of like seems like it turns into how to how to say yeah, it's it's it seems like it's relationship dynamic.

That is, that is something other than being in the highest good and highest alignment where I, at least in my consciousness, the reason for relationships is actually to support both people on their path and purpose.

That's the reason.

And and you know, maybe to say, to say it another slightly different way is relationship is there to like help both people grow absolutely, and and so if there's anything other than that in terms of either comfort or so on and so forth, then I that is something I would definitely look at in terms of, okay, well, what are the underlying motivations both for myself and the underlying motivations for another person.

And you know what can can be difficult and really hard to let's say, if you're in a relationship and you really kind of deep down know, gosh, you know this is not not in my highest good to have the courage to just to say, you know what I'm going to make.

I'm going to make a different choice that even if I know it's hard and painful, it actually is in alignment with my deepest truth and my greatest potential.

Yeah, in which case it would be for the other person as well.

They just may not realize it as it happens.

Yeah, exactly, exactly.

Exactly exactly.

We try to hang on.

Well, that's the one thing that most people don't course correct on.

It's like in business, I hear the number one money or the number one costly mistake every business owner makes is not firing somebody soon enough.

That is the number one, hands down entrepreneur business owner mistake, not firing somebody soon enough.

And in relationship that is also the case when you get you know, you know it's doing that all right.

So life purpose, the things we've talked about, what would a tangible, easy, like simple step that anybody could do that's listening to this that would either a help them determine what their life purpose is if they're confused or and or be stay the course.

I'll maintaining that flexibility and I'm happy to go first if you want some time to think about yours.

I've got some thoughts, but go ahead.

And yeah, so yeah, so for me, this is going to be like all of you guys are going to be let fill that down on this one.

But to me, life purpose really, if you want to find your life purpose, you should self resource and self manage.

So the first life purpose and foundation of anything is getting your shit together, is the simple way to say that.

Because without being having your self management, like you're taking care of your finances, your health, your spirituality, you're taking care of your shit, you're managing your stuff everything else.

Without having that solid foundation, you're going to go up and down and crash and burn.

It's never going to be a sustainable long term.

So look at your life and where your ceilings, Like your relationships are always great, but your finances suck.

Your finances are awesome, but your relationships suck.

There's going to be something in your life in categories that you are not managing well, and that right there should be Your first life purpose is getting that dialed in, because you know, without that, all that lofty cool shit doesn't really matter because you'll never really have a stable platform to grow from.

And if you know what I mean by that, it's literally called the four pillars of self love.

It's the first thing you're doing is creating self commitment.

If you cannot commit to your self.

You lie to yourself all the time, which is we all do, and so it's hard to not do.

But literally every tiny thing you say to yourself, I'm gonna get up at six am, I'm not gonna eat that pizza, whatever the hell, all those lies you tell yourself get clear, stop lying to yourself and literally commit to yourself.

First.

From that commitment grows self trust, self respect, self love.

That's your first purpose in my book.

Mm hmmm, that's that's great.

I think there's a number of things that I could say, uh, and that that's just.

That's just really really gold.

Here's what's arising, Uh it immediately is is that that could be complementary to that in terms of what is that?

What is that deep why?

What is that that?

If you don't already have clarity on what that deep why is about why you're here?

I would I would check out that article.

I'm sure if you if you google life Purpose how to write my Life's purpose in twenty minutes from Steve Pavlina, you could you could do that.

I actually, I mean I wrote something that kind of fleshed that out, but that that that article is a great one.

If if you have no, no idea.

And then also for example as a as as in terms of building on what Tanya said in that particular idea, this is from a recent flow training as I was getting certified as a performance neuroscience coach.

Is is this idea?

Now, this is more This is not exactly scientific, but just take it with a with a grain of salt, but you'll get what I'm saying here is in order to get into a flow state one hundred and four percent of your capacity.

From a number of people and some of the experts, that's kind of the sweet spot where you are pressing into your edges.

You're not going so far that you just clamp down, but you just lean in.

You lean into that discomfort.

You lean into the discomfort of whatever those edges are that let's say, those areas of your life that you really know that you need to raise your ceiling and to get your shit together to just gently lean into those just do one hundred and four percent.

You don't have to do one hundred and ten or you know, go go crazy as it were, but just just keep leaning in.

Yeah.

I like that.

Yeah, So the yeah, pushing pushing a little bit.

Most of us pushed too hard, But that's an entirely other episode.

So all right, life Purpose, I think we kind of like wrapped it up as much as we can today in this kind of timeframe.

And if you're out there listening and you just don't you know, you're like, I don't know life purpose whatever, blahlah blah blah blah blah blah.

You are literally just flying around, or like I like to say, you're a leaf in a river and you can say, well, I'm just seeing what happens.

Well, you know what happens to leaves that are just like randomly going down a river.

They typically snag on a branch and get torn to bits and off they go, floating in a million bits.

And that is not what you actually want to be.

So you spiritual guys who are like flowing, just understand you need a direction to flow in or you're gonna get shredded.

For you guys who are not into the spiritual, I don't don't know why you're listening, but let's say you're not so much, it's still you need.

Everybody I think needs a direction.

Even if we course corracked along the way, we need a direction.

Otherwise we're just kind of free floating around, feeling purposeless or feeling like I don't know what's going and then we're like letting our external circumstances run everything we do.

And that is probably a big part of most people's suffering.

And certainly you take that in sects, relationships, anything, you want to take that in business, anything else.

If you're just random, completely random, with zero clue, yeah, that's how that's going to feel.

So all right, we're going to be back and you know next week.

But for us, it's in just a moment.