Episode Title: Sickbay: “Choose Your Pain” (Episode 50)

AJ: By the way, I love how in the last one...I know we're getting started. 

MF: No, it's good. 

AJ: But I can hear you choking on your wine. I can't remember what part it was, but I can hear you. I was cracking up. 

MF: That's how you know it's real. I'm literally choking on my wine. 

AJ: Yes. 

MF: Okay. All right. On that note, allow me to take one more sip. 

AJ: Samesie. 

Welcome:

Hello, hello, my loves. Welcome back to The TV Doctor, a podcast where I prescribe for you exactly what television you should be watching to treat the socio-emotional ailments that might be bothering you. I’m M. Foss, and I’m not a doctor on TV, but I play one in real life.

Here in Season 5 of the podcast, my Special Guest Star, Second Opinion, Cha’Dich, Co-Pilot, and Co-Host Ashley and I are up to the penthouse of the Millennium Gate in our mission to seek out the healing properties embedded in Star Trek: Discovery. We know there are parts of the show that require an even closer look, parts that might do more harm than good, and we’ll be sure to cover those parts in our examination as well. Together, we are a rookie and a veteran attempting a mind meld, if you will, inviting you to join us as we do our best to boldly go.

If you don’t think of yourself as a quote-unquote “Star Trek person,” fear not. Ashley is your patron saint. She’s proof that even those of you who aren’t quite ready to sign up for Starfleet Academy can find wonder and resolution in these tales from the stars. Feel free to watch (or re-watch) Discovery along with us. The season is still young, our journey is still long, and there is still a comfy seat just for you in our shuttle. Consider this message your sign that it’s time to see what all the fuss is about, and I’ll consider this message my sign that it’s time to beam directly to…Sickbay.

Second Opinion:

MF: All right. So, we're back and it is time for Episode 5 of Star Trek colon Discovery and this one is called “Choose Your Pain” which is an ominous title if ever I've heard one. So, do you have for us a recap of this episode?

AJ: I do, and first I would just like to say it is my honor to join you today in the bowels of a Klingon vessel prison ship, a particularly nasty one, as we will soon find out. So, it was a pleasure to be joining you. So, my quick TL;DR as the kids say, which, what does that stand for? 

MF: Too long, didn't read.

AJ: Okay. Didn't read. So, Captain Lorca is captured by the Klingons while he's headed back to the Discovery from meeting with Starfleet where they were telling him to, like, seriously slow his roll. Discovery is the most important weapon that Starfleet has in their war against the Klingons. In a prison cell, he meets Harcourt Fenton Mudd. 

MF: Huh. 

AJ: A cunning criminal. And I will, although maybe not great for podcasting, but I will need to ask you if you remember what I sent you… 

MF: I have it in my notes, as a matter of fact. 

AJ: …when we met Harry Mudd. But so we met him while we also met a lieutenant Ash Tyler.

MF: Ash. 

AJ: Listen, never trust someone with two first names. 

MF: Oh, is that right? 

AJ: That's a thing. 

MF: Is it? 

AJ: That's a thing. But he is a former, well, current Starfleet officer. He's a prisoner of war. 

MF: He's a prisoner of war… 

AJ: And maybe he's… 

MF: …in a Starfleet uniform. 

AJ: Yes. And maybe he's gotten the attention of a white walker Klingon who is maybe L'Rell, but maybe not. It's unclear. 

MF: It is L'Rell. 

AJ: It is. Okay. 

MF: Yeah, but also I agree with you that it's not super clear. 

AJ: It's extremely ambiguous. 

MF: If she wasn't wearing her white outfit… 

AJ: Wouldn't know. 

MF: Yeah. 

AJ: Yeah. Meanwhile, back on Discovery, Shady Saru is asking the ship’s chat GPT, how to deal with Michael Burnham and the result being eliminate her, which is all you need to know about how much we should trust AI. Speaking of… 

MF: Ayee. That part. I'm here for that. 

AJ: Michael Burnham, along with her crew mates, they're working to find an alternative solution to continuing to use the tardigrade for navigation. The tardigrade is in deep pain. 

MF: It is. 

AJ: We're faced with a number of ethical and moral questions and quandaries in this episode.

MF: Yes. 

AJ: And ultimately, Captain Lorca and Lieutenant Ash Tyler beam two up, or whatever one might say. Two for beam. Two for beam up. Beam up for two. There's a phrase, and it was…I don't know what it was, but it sounded very hot. Fancy. Beam two of us up. Right? 

MF: Okay. Sure. Yeah. 

AJ: They left my guy, Harry Mudd, back on the Klingon prison vessel.

MF: Wait...did you just say “Klingin'”?

AJ: Klingon? Is it not the Klingon? So, is Klingon plural? So…it's…there's Klingons… 

MF: Well, there's two separate issues here. One is the pronunciation. Klingon versus Klingin’. 

AJ: Okay. 

MF: But, I think you kind of accidentally stumbled into some original series parlance there for a little bit because…you ever watch like, The Twilight Zone, in that show in particular, or maybe just in television from the 1960s, where they pronounce robot “robit”?

AJ: Hmm. “Robit.” 

MF: “Robit.” 

AJ: But you knew what I was talking about. 

MF: I did, but you definitely did say Klingin’. 

AJ: Allow me to throw my mother under the bus who is just now tuning in to Star Trek… 

MF: Welcome. 

AJ: …who calls it Star Trak. But I knew what she was saying. Start Fleet. 

MF: That's also not uncommon, though. I've heard a lot of people, I've heard a lot of people say Star Trak. 

AJ: Her husband shuddered, I'm sure. 

MF: Oh. 

AJ: Star Trak. I love you mom, if you're listening to this. 

MF: It's all of those things. It's all of the above.

AJ: So, the Klingons tried to… 

MF: Klingons, yes. I think it is Klingons. 

AJ: Okay. 

MF: Yeah. 

AJ: The Klingons try to prevent Captain Luscious Lorca and Lieutenant Ash Tyler from escaping, but they were beamed up back to Starfleet right in time. So, they leave Harcourt Fenton Mudd behind. The Tardigrade is released into the mycelial network of heaven.

MF: Of heaven. 

AJ: And scene. 

MF: And scene. 

AJ: I think that pretty much covers the high level. Hopefully our listeners are following along with us. 

MF: Yeah. 

AJ: This is not a recap podcast. 

MF: No, that is not what this is. 

AJ: We're here to talk about how hot Captain Lorca is. 

MF: Well, you're definitely here to talk about how hot Captain Lorca is. Also, in this episode, this is the first time that we've got a lot of Culber. And… 

AJ: I love him! 

MF: I, listen, so, when I tell you it might have been a deal breaker, if you didn't love Culber the way I love Culber…

AJ: I love Culber and I hate to make…no, I don't. I don't. I love to make this. I'd love to make this sexy because Star Trek is sexier than Star Wars so far. 

MF: Wait a minute. Is Star Wars ever sexy? I've never known Star Wars to be sexy. 

AJ: Well, I, I think it wants to dangle sexiness in front of… 

MF: Star Wars does?

AJ: Yes. As a distraction. As something that you should overcome. Because the Jedi are all about “You're not supposed to have attachments.” And so far, Star Trek is like, “Here are all these attachments.” 

MF: We're hella attached. 

AJ: We're so attached, and I'm so attached to Hugh. 

MF: I am so… 

AJ: In his crisp white suit. 

MF: And those aren't even the dress whites, okay? That's everyday white. But when he wears it, listen. 

AJ: I love it, and I love him. I love him. And his empathy is exactly what we needed injected into an episode where we're grappling with these ethical… 

MF: Mm-Hmm. 

AJ: …quandaries of 

MF: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 

AJ: …shady Saru, “Oh, even though the tardigrade, you know, is near death, in intense pain, we need to save our captain.” Okay, so shady Saru is mission focused, which is fine, but here comes Hugh. 

MF: I know.

AJ: Dr. Culber. 

MF: I love him so much. 

AJ: Who's like, “This is a sentient being.” 

MF: Yeah. We've got an incredible crew here. 

AJ: Yes. 

MF: And it looks to me like all bases are covered. If we've got a Hugh Culber on board, if we've got a Paul Stamets… 

AJ: Yes. 

MF: I know you're not feeling Saru yet. Here's what's interesting. This whole season of the podcast for me is I'm walking a tightrope between revealing what I know because I'm ahead of you and experiencing along with you. But it's tough. And it's especially tough with Saru. 

AJ: Saru is shady and it's fine. It is what it is. We have to have tension with somebody. And it's not going to be Lorca. I mean, maybe it is in the future. Maybe it is. 

MF: Okay. Yeah. Okay. Sure. 

AJ: Stamets is already sort of coming around, being a little more empathetic, a little more relatable. Captain Tilly is growing on me. 

MF: Captain Tilly?

AJ: I mean Cadet. Shoot. Cadet Tilly. She wishes she was captain, probably. 

MF: I'm leaving that in. 

AJ: Okay. 

MF: I'm, I'm, I'm leaving that in.  But are you coming around on Saru? 

AJ: No, no, no. I'm not. But what I can understand is he is wrapped up in his grief. And… 

MF: And you don't even know the depth of that grief yet. 

AJ: I have no idea except that he feels like his opportunity to spend more time with her was stolen. 

MF: So, you're thinking that this is all connected to his grief about losing his captain? 

AJ: I think he's mad because he doesn't know how to feel, and I don't know much about Kelpians, so I don't know if they…

MF: None of us do at this point. 

AJ: …understand, right, grief, necessarily, but maybe the opportunities were stolen, maybe they were lost, but they're gone, all the same, and so even though I still think he's shady, I can understand there's something that's very human about wishing that you still had the chance to be someone's number one. 

MF: Well, but now he's number one. 

AJ: Not to Captain Georgiou. 

MF: Not, not to Georgiou. And that comparison of the kind of captain that Georgiou was to the kind of captain that Lorca is is very different. 

AJ: It's the difference between science and war… 

MF: Yeah, that's right. That's exactly right. 

AJ: …which is completely at odds with one another in this world.

MF: Yes. And in ours. 

AJ: Well…

MF: Science is logic. War is not. 

AJ: Right. Okay.

MF: As a Vulcan. As a Vulcan, allow me to just say… 

AJ: Did you learn that at the University of Vulcan? 

MF: You didn't know? 

AJ: There was the introduction to war. 

MF: I got my Bachelor of Arts… 

AJ: …at U of V.  

MF: Anyway, yes. 

AJ: So I, yeah. So, I still don't like him. 

MF: But I feel like you're starting to recognize the corners of his character a little bit. We've got a ways to go. 

AJ: I'm sure we do. 

MF: We do. So, the episode begins with Michael having a nightmare. And she sees herself essentially torturing herself so she's kind of in the role of the tardigrade, and I think the episode is using that to introduce the idea of why Michael is interested in advocating for the tardigrade, but on my rewatch, I was thinking about how you were talking about this luggage that she's dragging around of needing to martyr herself, needing to other herself. And so, it just seemed very chewy that the episode would begin with her torturing herself. 

AJ: Yeah. 

MF: Right? Why does Star Trek want to turn the screw so tight on this character? Why did we need to see her torturing herself in order to make this point that she's, like, “Maybe the tardigrade is not totally into this whole ‘being the source of the spore drive’ thing,” and I don't think that it boils down that cleanly, that simply, to “It's a Black woman so we're going to put her through all of these unnecessary hoops and paces.” I don't think it's that simple. It's possible that we need to experience her in the valley so that we can acknowledge her at the peak.  

AJ: If what we've learned up until now is that her safe space is logic, then this could be the show signaling to us, “You can't escape emotion. You can compartmentalize it. You can tuck it to the side. You can close this door, but it's still down the hallway. And when you are in your semi-conscious state of dreaming, what is it that truly haunts you?” Maybe it's this dance that she's playing with emotions and grief and “Am I logical or am I emotional and have I made the right decisions or the wrong decisions and I made a decision that has allowed us to make a jump through space.” This is a huge, huge discovery. 

MF: Sure.

AJ: Excuse the pun. But now what? 

MF: Right. 

AJ: And so, we're having to grapple with Michael, who do you want to be? Do you want to be logical or emotional? Do you want to complete the mission, which right now is to rescue your captain of the ship? The reason that you're not behind bars. Or do you want to be the person that says, “We are hurting this sentient being”? Violence does not mean peace here. These are not the Klingons. Peace means peace. Empathy means peace. 

MF: So, this is Discovery departing from all of Star Trek canon in a really interesting way where our lead…well, no…I'm not gonna say all of Star Trek canon, because interestingly…

AJ: Say the show name because I'm, I'm collecting them. 

MF: I'm not gonna say it. 

AJ: I'm collecting them for the quiz. 

MF: I'm not gonna say it. 

AJ: In what show are you about to refer? 

MF: But there is another show… 

AJ: Okay. 

MF: …with another captain who does not start out as a captain. . 

AJ: Nobody starts as a captain. What do you mean? 

MF: They all start as captains. Except for… 

AJ: Except for Tilly. 

MF: You know what? I'm not going to tolerate any Tilly slander. 

AJ: Tilly's maybe growing on me in the way that I think you wish Saru would. It's just… 

MF: I feel like when you get the context on Saru, it's going to be so meaningful for you.

AJ: Context is everything. 

Both: Context is for kings! 

AJ: Context is for kings. 

MF: Tea. 

AJ: Saru is the Kelpien king. 

MF: Um. Tilly. No, that's not who I was talking about. 

AJ: You were talking about a captain who did not start as a captain. 

MF: Oh, right. So, there have been few leads of show that have been willing to put up as two pillars, one being Starfleet and all of the things that Starfleet says they're about, and then right and wrong over here. And there have been very few leads of show that have been willing to say, “I know this is what Starfleet is about,” and this whole fucking enterprise, excuse that pun, is about Starfleet being above reproach, and being like, “These are the standards to which we should all aspire,” but also, maybe not? 

AJ: Okay, this is good because it plays into what I considered the two main themes of the episode. 

MF: Come on. 

AJ: Two prominent themes. 

MF: Yes. 

AJ: One of them as presented by my guy, Harry Mudd. Essentially he says, “As soon as Starfleet says ‘you're going to go boldly,’ you are inviting conflict. There are more little people down here than people up there.” But also, the tardigrade shows us that life is connected to all living things. That's how the mycelial network works. And so, we have these two ideas of, “Are we going to go boldly? And if we do, are we inviting conflict?” 

MF: Yeah. 

AJ: But if life is connected to life… 

MF: Which, which, which, which, which, P.S., when this whole shit was started in the 1960s, think about what that meant. Think about what “go boldly” meant in the 1960s. 

AJ: Like when we fake went to the moon. 

MF: Tell me…this might be the end of this podcast. Thanks for coming out. 

AJ: I mean, we were bold in that it was a race with Russia and so we were like, “Hey, we went to the moon.” 

MF: We literally went to the moon. 

AJ: Did we? 

MF: Ashley, yeah. Do you not believe that we went to the moon? 

AJ: I am open to being persuaded. 

MF: Oh, shit.

AJ: Yeah. 

MF: Okay. 

AJ: I am open to being persuaded. 

MF: Well, thanks for coming out everybody. 

AJ: Thank you for listening to Sickbay. 

MF: Grand opening, grand closing. 

AJ: I am being beamed to sickbay, the psychiatry unit. 

MF: So, you don't believe that we landed on the moon in 1969? 

AJ: The fact that I don't have full service in your house without connecting to the wifi…

MF: And yet…

AJ: …in this year of our Lord, 2024. I can't receive incoming text messages, but you're going to sit here and tell me we went to the moon. I don't know if the math is mathing, as the kids say. 

MF: We're going to move on because I don't have the emotional space to, to deal with that just yet. 

AJ: That's fair. We have gone boldly. 

MF: We have gone boldly. 

AJ: And maybe ignorantly. Deeply ignorantly. Into the dark night. 

MF: Yeah. Okay. Can we talk about how Lorca has a problem with authority? 

AJ: Yes. 

MF: He doesn't like authority. He also doesn't like women in authority. 

AJ: I don't know if he doesn't like women. 

MF: Well, I didn't say he doesn't like women. In the grand tradition of Star Trek captains, he likes women just fine. But I don't think he responds well to women in authority over him.

AJ: I don't know if it would matter who it was that said to him, “You need to reel it in.” His level of narcissism with the mixture of believing fully into his delusion…well, and part of it is not delusion. They're at war. I think it could be anyone who said to him, “You need to reel it back” and he'd be like, “Cool. Thanks. Bye.” And then head back… 

MF: …which is what he did, which is how he ended up in a Klingon prison. 

AJ: Correct. And then head back. 

MF: Correct. 

AJ: So, you'd have to convince me of the misogyny there. I think he buys into his own hype. But the easiest hype to buy into is the hype where some of it's true. 

MF: Yeah. 

AJ: And they are at war. 

MF: Yeah. 

AJ: And Discovery is the best weapon. 

MF: He's a war guy. 

AJ: And he's a war guy. 

MF: That's very clear. 

AJ: And it's his ship. 

MF: It's his ship. 

AJ: It's his ship. And until they all have tardigrades… 

MF: Although, we also don't really know the mechanisms that turned to get him as the captain of Starfleet's finest weapon.

AJ: I don't question that. 

MF: I do. 

AJ: A captain is a captain and I didn't question it with Philippa. 

MF: I do. 

AJ: And Philippa's out here being like, “Let's just abandon all the good advice that I'm getting from my number one,” 

MF: I know, but I love her.

AJ: …and then gets herself killed. 

MF: So, let's talk about Philippa, Philippa Georgiou. Let's talk about her for a second. So, when Saru plugs into chat GPT… 

AJ: Yes. Open AI. 

MF: He says, “Computer, tell me about Starfleet's most decorated captains, living or dead.” And the computer spits out these names. Robert April. I paused it. 

AJ: I love this because I didn't take notes on this at all. My notes stop at “Saru was asking the ship's chat GPT how to deal with Michael, you know, eliminate her, shouldn't trust AI. Please don't ask it to write your papers.” And then I moved on. So, I love that this, there's a difference here between what I noticed…

MF: Oh yeah. 

AJ: …and what you were like, “Wait a minute. Pause.” 

MF: Because again, they were doling out catnip to the Trekkies. 

AJ: I want to be in on the joke. Tell me about the joke.

MF: So, five names. Robert April, Jonathan Archer, Matthew Decker, Philippa Georgiou, Christopher Pike. Those were the names that the computer spit out as the Hall of Fame. Those names, other than Philippa Georgiou, meant nothing to you. You were like, "Name, Name, Name, Name, Name." 

AJ: Absolutely nothing. Yeah. 

MF: Wow. Okay, let's play a quick game. 

AJ: Okay. 

MF: I know it's not time for trivia. 

AJ: Let's do it. I'm always down. 

MF: Okay. Yeah, so other than Philippa Georgiou, who we know was the captain of the Shenzhou, what ship did these people captain? 

AJ: Okay, Pike was the Enterprise. 

MF: It was the Enterprise. Very good. Okay, Robert April. 

AJ: Can't trust somebody with two first names. I don't know. Enterprise. 

MF: Enterprise. Okay. Jonathan Archer commanded the… 

AJ: Enterprise. 

MF: Enterprise. 

AJ: Are they all? Okay. 

MF: No, no, no. 

AJ: Oh, no. They didn't…okay. 

MF: No. Matthew Decker commanded the… 

AJ: Glenn. The Glenn. I only know so many ships here. 

MF: So, Matthew Decker, this is a deep cut. 

AJ: Okay. 

MF: And anyone worth their Google is like, “Oh, Decker,” like, “We bringing Decker into the conversation? That's interesting.” So, not the Glenn. 

AJ: Okay. Pass. 

MF: Yeah, pass. Because I also I agree with that. And then Christopher Pike. 

AJ: Enterprise.

MF: Enterprise. Yeah. So, isn't it interesting that we've got three captains of the Enterprise… 

AJ: Yeah. 

MF: …here in this list of most notable captains living or dead? 

AJ: Yeah. And who is currently living? None of them. How dare the chat GPT? 

MF: Yes.

AJ: Oh… 

MF: No, no, no. Yes. 

AJ: There are no greats. 

MF: No. So, the only people in the timeline who passed at this point would be Archer, I think. I think Archer has probably passed, although that's not confirmed. I'll look that up. And then Georgiou. 

AJ: May she rest.  

MF: Anyway, so Saru asks the computer who are the best captains and it lists out these folks and it's a really nice moment. And it's one that people who were going through the show for the first time would just move right past it. But I promise you, Trekkies were like, “Boop! Pause. Who are these people? Oh, nice. Nice, nice, nice.” And then Matthew Decker, like, “Okay, we're doing that. Okay.” Yeah. But anyway, that was a, that was a nice moment. 

AJ: Well, interestingly enough, it didn't list Lorca. 

MF: It didn't. Again, we are six months at this point since the passing of Georgiou. And if she's on the list, and he's not… 

AJ: Yeah, yeah. 

MF: …and he's commanding the most powerful weapon that Starfleet has… 

AJ: Yeah, it's a little…yes. 

MF: And this episode does do a lot to put in comparison Lorca and Georgiou in a lot of ways. 

AJ: Yeah. 

MF: We're coming to that. Okay. Can we talk about Harry Mudd for just a second? 

AJ: Who is your favorite character in Star Trek and why…

MF: He is not my…

AJ: …is it Harcourt. Fenton. Mudd. 

MF: In our text messages, you said, and I quote, “Let me just ask this.” Send. “Who is your favorite character in Star Trek?” Send. “And why is it Harry Mudd?” Sent. And we didn't deal with this in the text messages, but I need you to expand on why Harry Mudd is your favorite character so far… 

AJ: I love him. I love him. 

MF: So, explain. 

AJ: I just couldn't figure out who it was. I was thinking, “Is it Jack Black?” And then I just, I, I was, “Why do I know him?” And it's so frustrating because of course… 

MF: It's Rainn Wilson. 

AJ: Rainn Wilson.

MF: Yeah. 

AJ: From The Office. Of course, it's Dwight. And it's giving Dwight. It's giving Dwight was let go and has been on unemployment and here he is, he's hurt. It would be easy to see him as a negative, backstabbing, two timing, narcissistic, insensitive, selfish, self-serving person. But I say, “No, this is a hurt…hurt people hurt people.” 

MF: So, you're recognizing that he hurts people. 

AJ: Well, he did not actually hurt anyone… 

MF: …that we saw in this episode. 

AJ: He is just responsible for it. Listen, it's choose your pain. 

MF: It is. It is choose your pain. 

AJ: There has to be some agency and responsibility there. 

MF: Fair enough. 

AJ: I will say that what lets me know that Lorca is maybe not who I would like him to be is that he leaves Harry Mudd there for the Klingons to do whatever they want with him. 

MF: So, in this moment, this exercise of re watching as you watch and trying to be conscious of what I know that you don't know…

AJ: Right. 

MF: …is quite the challenge. 

AJ: Painstaking. 

MF: It is painstaking because… 

AJ: Because what could you possibly not like about Harry Mudd? It's Dwight Schrute. He's charming. He's a little self-centered. Yes. But is he also just trying to survive? Also yes. 

MF: So, Harry Mudd…okay, let me say this: the casting of Rainn Wilson as Harry Mudd? Perfection. No notes. 

AJ: Loving it. Yeah. 

MF: No notes. 

AJ: Because as soon as you realize who it is…casting knew this is what we want. 

MF: Yeah. 

AJ: “We want you to interpret this character in a certain way.” 

MF: Exactly. 

AJ: So, you being like, “Harry Mudd… 

MF: Right. 

AJ: …blahbity blah” was a shock to me. 

MF: Right, because I was like, “No, Harry Mudd is a throwback to The Original Series, and if you know The Original Series Harry Mudd and then we see him here Harry Mudd, as Dwight Schrute as Harry Mudd, then it's like, “Oh, they're playing you. They're not playing me. You got played.” 

AJ: Absolutely not. Oh no. 

MF: Okay. You'll see. 

AJ: This is my… 

MF: You'll see. 

AJ: …guy. He's a survivor out here. 

MF: You'll see. 

AJ: He's on his own. 

MF: No. You asked me, “Who is your favorite Star Trek character and why is it Harry Mudd?” Harry Mudd… 

AJ: Harcourt. Fenton. Mudd. 

MF: Okay, Harry Mudd is not even on the first four pages… 

AJ: Wow. 

MF: …single space, Times New Roman, 12 point font of my favorite Star Trek characters. 

AJ: Regular margins. 

MF: Yes, regular margins. I can't stand this dude. I want to give you the names of the other people who occupy the bottom with him and I can't because it would give shit away. But, no. I'm not here for Harry Mudd, but I love that you are, because I can't wait for you to be introduced to the real Harry Mudd, to, like, Harry Mudd original recipe version.

AJ: So, I do like that not every Easter egg is something where behind the camera, whoever it is, they're thinking, “Oh, Trekkies will love this.” 

MF: We don't love this! 

AJ: They dropped one in where they were like, “They're going to love to hate this.” 

MF: “This is going to be controversial.” 

AJ: And I respect that.

MF: I love that part of that. 

AJ: “And, and just to make it even wilder, we're going to make it a character that you probably love from another…

MF: Yes.

AJ: …show… 

MF: Yes. 

AJ: …just to really twist the knife in to test your faithfulness.” 

MF: That shit is genius, actually. 

AJ: It's so good.

MF: All right. So, the other thing that I wanted to chat about was the non-Mudd related moments in the Klingon prison. So, they make a break for it, Lorca and Tyler. They're getting out of here. And there is a scene where Ash Tyler is having a physical altercation with the female Klingon. 

AJ: The White Walker. I just pray that there are some of you out there who are also not Trekkies. But you respect it. And so, everything is contextualized by everything else. 

MF: It's all contextual. 

AJ: By all the things. 

MF: Context is for kings. 

AJ: So yes, context is for kings. So the White Walker, L'Rell. 

MF: L'Rell. 

AJ: Maybe, probably. 

MF: It's L'Rell. 

AJ: And where's her man? I don't know. 

MF: Her man is Voq. 

AJ: Right. So L'Rell's just out here clinging around… 

MF: Klingin’ around, making a note, hashtag Klingin’ around…

AJ: Which, listen, I'm sex positive. Do what you're going to do. It seemed personal is all I'm going to say in the hallway. 

MF: I do want to tell you this. Klingon Romantic relations is in canon rough. 

AJ: Paramount plus after dark, Big Brother after dark, 

MF: Klingon after dark for an extra fee. 

AJ: I would pay for it. Excellent. Great. That they like it. I'm happy for them. 

MF: They like it extra spicy. 

AJ: Because it's better than what I originally thought, which is, these are people… 

MF: They're all incels. 

AJ: …they're all involuntarily celibate. And it goes back to me pushing the agenda of if there was more sex in all of fandom, I think we would all be better off. And I just think, would the Klingons want to go to war if they were engaging in more sexy time in Klingon Afterdark? I don't know. They just seem very mad for no reason. Saru, I still can't help but feel like if Saru had a significant other of some sort, he would be confiding in that person, not the chat GPT of the ship. I can't help but feel like, listen, I love Culber, but Stamets and Lorca was something that I was very much rooting for. 

MF: Oh, no! 

AJ: Would Lorca be a little less rough around the edges if he was maybe a little more rough around someone else's edges? 

MF: Well, I mean, spoiler alert! Spoiler alert. But so, the Klingon, the Klingons, the Klingons. Yeah, so, it's canon that when it comes to Klingon sexy time, it's a spicy situation. So…oh, here's one extra thing that I did want to mention before we get to our quiz. I am so delighted to know that some of my favorite swear words made it into the 23rd century. 

AJ: Really? Such as? 

MF: Such as the F word. 

AJ: Was that uttered in this? 

MF: It was indeed. 

AJ: Where? 

MF: Yeah. No. They swore.

AJ: F-U-C-K? 

MF: That's the one. 

AJ: That's not in my notes. 

MF: Listen, welcome to a brand new world of Star Trek content. 

AJ: A brave new world. 

MF: Did I say that? 

AJ: No, you said brand new, but it's close. 

MF: You know what's not going to happen? It's not going to be a switcheroo where after I've been, like, shutting you down for four episodes and then I'm like, “Just kidding. It is brave new world.” It's definitely not brave new world. 

AJ: Okay. All right. 

MF: Yeah. But anyway, they say the whole word. And so, thank you to the streamers for that. Because prior to this point, we haven't been able to say the swears. And so, I love that for them.  

AJ: Something that I loved at the very end, and it's the horror fan in me, is we're brushing our teeth… 

MF: In the mirror! 

AJ: We're brushing our teeth in the mirror, and we're loving Culber and Stamets. We're loving all of that. 

MF: Yes. 

AJ: They are brushing their teeth, which I love to see that…

MF: Same.

AJ: …in any world. I love that, like, some things are just… 

MF: Yes. Please with the oral hygiene. 

AJ: Stamets walks away and there's a Stamets in the mirror that remains. 

MF: So, it's the classic horror trope… 

AJ: Love. Love. 

MF: …of he didn't come back right. 

AJ: Yes. 

MF: Something came back with him.

AJ: He made the call, “Listen, we're hurting the tardigrade.” Or maybe the tardigrade had already shriveled up into a scared little ball by then. “But we have to go save the captain.” So, Stamets knowing that… 

MF: …we can't do the tardigrade…

AJ: …we can't do the tardigrade injected himself with the tardigrade's DNA and he made the jump. He was in the mycelial network.

MF: He was, he was, and he went full mushroom. 

AJ: And something happened on the way to heaven because he came back… 

MF: He was different. 

AJ: …and I love it. I can't wait because now I'm like, “What genre are we in?”

MF: What genre is this? 

AJ: Is it fantasy, is it sci fi, is it horror? I don't care. I love all the things. 

MF: Star Trek has traditionally prided itself, especially classic Trek, on being very episodic, like you got to know these characters, you know who we're dealing with, and each episode is monster of the week, right?

AJ: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. 

MF: Discovery is like, “Fuck that, we're going full mythology.” Like, you gotta know episode one, episode two, episode three, you have to follow along. And so, the fact that they're telling us now that Stamets has been plugged into the shit, he comes back, he ain't quite right… 

AJ: Yes. 

MF: Somethin’ is DIFFERENT. Because he walked away… 

AJ: Yeah. 

MF: …and the mirror image remained. So… 

AJ: I got a tingle. I felt nervous and excited. I might have gasped out loud. It was just like, “What is happening?” 

MF: “What are they doing?” 

AJ: It was scary. Because then I felt like, “Who can I trust here? Is he bad? Is he evil?” 

MF: And they've done so much to make me love Stamets.

AJ: Yeah. 

MF: And now, what's happening? 

AJ: It’s a mystery.

MF: Right. 

AJ: It's a mystery. 

MF: Love. Are you ready for the quiz? 

AJ: I'm ready. 

MF: Okay. Do you want to give the shows in order a shot? 

AJ: I have more shows. 

MF: Okay, let's do it. 

AJ: But I don't know the order. Star Trek: The Original Series. 

MF: One. 

AJ: Star Trek: The Animated Series.

MF: Yes. Correct. 

AJ: Star Trek: The Next Generation. 

MF: Correct. 

AJ: Now, I'm gonna have to skip through some. I already have Picard, and now I have Enterprise. 

MF: So, Enterprise, and then… 

AJ: Picard. 

MF: No. 

AJ: And then Discovery, and then Picard. Okay. 

MF: Yeah, Enterprise, then Discovery.

AJ: Okay. I also know Lower Decks. 

MF: Okay. 

AJ: And that's, that's it. But I, I learned that one because I was on…this is…Paramount Plus is not sponsoring this podcast. 

MF: They're not. 

AJ: But we welcome them to. 

MF: Right. If you want to, what's up?. 

AJ: But when I went down to scroll, it had the, like, trending shows. And after I passed Criminal Minds because I'm caught up, I saw, “Oh, what is this? Lower Decks. Okay, another animated series.” Loving this for all of us. 

MF: Yes. Okay. What is the significance of the Kelvin universe? 

AJ: Pass. 

MF: Oh! How about this? What if I told you it had something to do with Chris Pine? 

AJ: Nope.

MF: Let's just linger for a second. Let's linger like Lorca looking at Michael Burnham. What's the significance of the Kelvin universe and it has something to do with Chris Pine? 

AJ: It's a different universe. 

MF: Mm hmm. 

AJ: I don't know. Pass. 

MF: Okay. What is the proper response if a Vulcan tells you live long and prosper? 

AJ: Still don't know but “peace be with you as well” still feels right. 

MF: Okay, okay. Who created Star Trek? 

AJ: Dun da da da da da! Gene Roddenberry! It's at the end of the opening credits!

MF: Yes! 

AJ: It's at the end of the opening credits. 

MF: Yes! 

AJ: I was so excited… 

MF: Thank you! 

AJ: …when I realized it had been right in front of me all along. 

MF: It was right there all along. 

AJ: As most things are. 

MF: It was right there. 

AJ: Thanks, Gene. Thanks, GR.

MF: Thank you to Gene Roddenberry. Okay what is general order number one? 

AJ: Still unclear. 

MF: Okay. What is the prime directive? 

AJ: Also unclear, except that it's related to general order one.

MF: Mm hmm. Okay. I think you're making good progress. 

AJ: It's tough because I only know what the show wants me to know. 

MF: But the algorithm is starting to push Star Trek content to you. 

AJ: It is. And it's tough because I don't want to be spoiled on Discovery, but I also want to engage in some of the fandom at large. 

MF: Totally. 

AJ: And there's so much content. 

MF: Yeah. 

AJ: So, it's a tough place to be in. Especially since I just don't know if one could become a Trekkie based on just discovery alone, maybe to be determined.

MF: That is the question in front of us. All right. I think that's it for this time.  

AJ: I hope to not meet you again in a Klingon prison shuttle cell. 

MF: Let's hope not. 

AJ: Until next time. See you in sickbay. Bye.

Urgent Care (the Prescription):

Welcome back. Before I jump into the prescription for this episode, I would just like to give myself and this show a little fanfare because we have reached the 50th episode of The TV Doctor. I started this show back in 2019 with little more than big magic, shoutout to Elizabeth Gilbert. If you don’t already know about the concept of big magic, first I’m going to HIGHLY recommend you read Gilbert’s book by the same name, but let me do my best to give you a definition, Short Trek style. “Big magic” is the name Gilbert gives to the phenomenon in which an idea comes to visit you, and if you don’t claim and own and embrace and walk and water that idea, it will leave you and go to someone else, and then you don’t get to whine about it when you see your, or what you THOUGHT was your idea, blasted across the airwaves or screens or pages or whatever medium is your theater of war. The thought of The TV Doctor coming to fruition through ANYONE else’s hands and head and heart made me physically ill, and the thought alone was enough to get me off my ass and out of my little imposter corner and it inspired me to throw my hat in the podcasting ring. It’s been one of the most satisfying and rewarding experiences of my entire life. I am a more complete human thanks to this show, to big magic, to Ashley for joining me on this leg of the journey, and OF COURSE, to all of you for listening and engaging and lifting me up when I was ready to pack it up and return to starbase. Happy 50th to me, and to all of us who made it possible.

Before I descend too deeply into nostalgic hysteria, let’s get to this prescription. As we mentioned earlier, this episode begins with a Michael Burnham dream sequence in which we see Michael Burnham behind the console, preparing for Black Alert, then we look over at the tardigrade’s chamber, but it’s not the tardigrade getting shot up with the mycelia (is that even how that works?). Anyway, it’s not the tardigrade in there, it’s Michael Burnham. So, the dream is essentially Michael Burnham causing extreme pain to Michael Burnham. She then awakens, and she and we realize what we’d been watching was a dream, and then the episode is off to the races. 

We are asked to remember that Burnham had BEEN suspecting that the Black Alert process was torture for our beloved tardigrade, and as far as narrative devices go, her dream served as a way to convince her and us that she was in fact correct about that and spearheading the tardigrade’s liberation post-haste was the all caps RIGHT DECISION. The episode isn’t really that subtle with its message here, or I should say two messages: one, the one we need to know to continue to participate fully in this program, is that Michael Burnham is practicing excellent decision-making behaviors these days, and we should snuggle up to the idea of her as A period good period leader period; and two, the one we need to know because television is medicine, is that when you are having intrapersonal conversations, when there’s a you inside the chamber and a you outside the chamber, you should listen to whichever version of you comes to you when you’re sleeping, when your shields are down, and when you’re less able to self-sabotage your way out of doing what you’re supposed to be doing. So, roger that. We can acknowledge receipt of that message, of those messages.    

There is, however, another message that I think represents a more powerful prescription here, and it’s related to the title of the episode, “Choose Your Pain.” Taken literally, as it was presented in the text, it means you can choose this pain or that pain. You can choose which discomfort to endure from a carefully curated Klingon selection of nasty experiences, right? You can choose the physical pain of a Klingon Kicking Your Ass, or you can choose the mental pain of sacrificing a peer to be tortured instead. 

But what if we interpret the term “choose” less as “converge upon” and more as “accept” here? What if “choose your pain” means not “pick one of these things” but “agree to allow this one thing,” the “one thing” being the pain itself? Ashley really got me thinking when she said that Michael Burnham’s dream sequence in the opening moments of the episode was about her internal battle with who she wants to be: logical or emotional. Does she follow the logical path and continue the abuse of a sentient life form, or does she follow the emotional path that could result in the loss of yet another captain? Logic, as Ashley said, is Michael’s safe space. Try as she might to live only in that safe space, she can’t escape or ignore the emotions that are very much part of who she is, even as she repeatedly fails to recognize how much of her true self is ruled by her compassion and empathy and desire and all the other characters of Inside Out 2, 3, or whatever. As we all know by now, Michael woke up and did NOT choose violence. She woke up and did NOT choose logic. She chose emotion. She chose her pain. I’m inclined to read “choose your pain” not as a message about Lorca, or Ash Tyler, or—barf—Harry Mudd, or maybe it is a message about them, but it’s also a message about Michael Burnham. It’s a message about and for US.

Your prescription is ready for pick-up, friends. Here it is: logic has its time and place. We need logic in the world. Science is logic. Music is logic. Math is logic. But what we do with our science and our math and our art…that’s all emotion, baby. That’s the good stuff. As much as some of us embrace the Vulcan ideal (here’s looking at me, okay?), none of us here are Vulcan. We’re human, painfully imperfect. And there’s nothing more human than consciousness of and surrender to one’s emotions. When you find yourself out of breath from chasing objectivity or emotional detachment, watch this episode, and choose your pain. 

And that’s gonna do it for this episode. Star Trek: Discovery Season 1 Episode 5, “Choose Your Pain,” was directed by Lee Rose. The writers for the episode included Bryan Fuller and Alex Kurtzman as creators of the show, teleplay by Kemp Powers, and story by Gretchen J. Berg, Aaron Harberts, and Kemp Powers. We’ve got Bowie Kim and Erika Lippoldt as the executive story editors, and Kirsten Beyer, Sean Cochran, and Kemp Powers as staff writers. And of course, the eternal shout out to the man whose name no longer needs to be obscured in any way, Gene Roddenberry.

We have now reached the part of our appointment where it’s time for me to give you some instructions for what to do when we part ways just in case you don’t remember what we’ve discussed. If you need a break from the Star Trek talk while you wait for our next episode, allow me to recommend any of the episodes from Seasons 1 through 4 of The TV Doctor, except Episode 23 because that one’s also all about Star Trek. It would mean the world to me if you could give the show five stars or whatever the sexiest rating is on whatever platform you use to consume your podcasts, and we’re still looking for the person with the most flattering review comment. Ashley and I are going to pick our favorites and make tee-shirts out of them. Want to see us wear your words? Okay, then. You know what to do. 

Also, are you following The TV Doctor on social media? You really should! I’ve got more to say on the twin flames Matthew Decker and Gabriel Lorca of it all, and if you want in on that conversation, you’ll need to join us over on the TV Doctor Instagram at tee vee phd, and you can follow Ashley at Ashley Johnson ca on all the things. And…oh…what’s this? It’s a priority one message coming in hot from Starfleet Command…Sickbay now has its own social media accounts! So, you can now find us at sickbaypod, that’s S I C K B A Y P O D on Instagram, TikTok, and Threads. We’re hard at work on our Sickbay merch, but if you need some garden variety TV Doctor paraphernalia, just head on over to the website at thetvdoc.com, and you’ll see a link that will send you to our TeePublic store.

On behalf of my number one and I, we thank you so much, again and again, for joining us here and choosing your pain. Don’t forget to schedule your next appointment on your way out. Bye!