The world is big and scary, even when you're extraordinary.

When life won't.

Go as planned, we all can use a hand.

But Cocoa doesn't talk to me.

Coco doesn't seem to see that he.

Needs a friend.

Hello, everyone, Welcome once again to Coco the Barberia needs a friend.

I'm your erstwhile producer Matt Gurley, and with me as always, our noble warrior leader and podcast host, Coco is the Barbarian.

Thank you, mad girly man.

Very happy to be here, very excited to meet our guest today.

She's a very tough one.

I feel like worry on material.

Very excited.

Yes, and up before we get to a guest, of course, are our co host.

I'm hesitant to say sidekick because she usually kicks me under the table when I say that, so I'll just say co host red Sona.

How are you?

I'm I'm just great.

Matt, thank you so much.

It unnerves me when you're nice.

Well you addressed me properly.

Oh all right.

Well, and I've been trying this new thing called positive reinforcement.

Yes, we've both been trying it.

Have you you've been trying to.

I haven't been succeeding.

But Sana is doing the great job with it.

Oh thank you, I saw the gave op.

I mean, I think in general, I conside you to be a fairly positive guy.

But when you're giving order, orders, suggestions a lot of times at that sword point, and I don't that's maybe not the kind of positive reinforcement.

Whether you're trying the same.

Do I need to thank my sword out?

Do we need?

No?

No?

I mean, has we discussed many times on this show.

You're not allowed to have the sword in the studio.

You need to check it at security.

I think, Matt, you could consider letting Coco.

Have his sword very positive as a form.

Of positive reinforcement his sword.

Yes, what if?

What if?

And I'm just spitballing here right on spith of us, No what if?

Because due to external factors, Coco is not allowed to have his sword in the studio.

The external factors are, of course.

You, It's not we're just renting here, right.

We have to follow the landlord's rules.

But I am the lord down here.

I don't think it will be the landlord.

I've conquered the many lands in my time, and I would say that when there's a lord who comes up and says, I am the lord of this land.

I say that, first of all, well, I don't think positively this is what's on.

I has said that.

I you know, I tend to think negatively about this situation and say to myself what should I do with this lord of the land, and then I cut the head off.

Well, if you would like.

Again, I can't advocate for this on the air, but if you somehow ended up as the landlord of this building and you wanted to maybe eliminate or at least cut me a deal on the rent, it would really be a big help, because the advertising dollars are just barely barely cutting it on our rent here.

Well, of course they're not cutting it.

He doesn't have his Yeah.

Well again, so again trying in terms of positive reinforcement.

And I know you like having the sword.

What if you just held this remote control like it was your sword.

Its god, it's sort of a nice grip to it.

But I don't know when I don't have to slash things with it.

They they're not really doing much slashing and kidding.

But you can just you know, maybe just for comfort, just hold it aloft.

Well, I suppose that if I I suppose that it could be a weapon.

Are we going to continue doing this?

Oh?

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I know that you have a very tight timetable here.

So why don't we introduce today's guest.

We're we're beyond honored to have you here with us.

Let me introduce to everyone multi billionaire tech genius Atheno O'Brien.

Thank you, thank you.

It's you a very special Guestina.

If you want the whole my remouth said, you can hold it.

I did.

I gotta tell you that's pretty big for him, that's really big for me.

I excited because you I heard about how many companies and places that you conquered.

And we are looking for concers.

Yeah, I am a conker and we're going to be going on the big quest that will be coming to a stream near you.

You And.

He's been practicing his his frog kicks in in the pool.

He really thinks it's a stream.

But that's besides the point.

I gotta say, long before we even dreamed of having a podcast together, Uh, Cocoa and I were bartending together and we were at it was at the Tiki Shack, you remember, and they they were broadcasting your your wedding, and I remember when you almost through every one of your guests and you're intended into the volcano.

I have never seen this guy so excited.

I was so excited.

I was jumping up and down.

And I said to myself, I said to Sauna, I said, Sana, we need to be like that.

That we need to And that's when we walked out of the tiki shack.

And well, I did slay a few of the people now to walk to the volcano, but it was.

Far yeah, well, yeah, it was on the other side of the world.

I didn't stop me from trying.

No, I mean you you try and and just to be clear, you had to stop you.

You actually burned the tiki hut to the ground on your way out.

That's why I went to burn it again.

Someday.

You burned that in my honor.

Or Well, yeah, I mean it was so impressive when everyone falling into the volcano and screaming.

I thought to myself, that is how how a conker it works.

And uh, they and I didn't see if you had a sword, but it seemed to me that no one was preventing you from having a salt then your volcano leer.

Okay, good, that's what I said.

I said that probably they let her have a salt.

Members she just doesn't want to have a salt, doesn't want to get it wet in the volcan you no, I understand that.

Well, if you can find us a volcano with a podcast studio, I'm not going to stop you.

I love that.

I don't suppose you have one in your portfolio, Miss O'Brien.

Maybe some corporate synergy, I deny, Yeah, I get that a lot.

Uh, well, mag Man, I call you Athena.

Uh, Athena, what's new in the tech world?

What can we expect from Athena Corp?

You know maybe this holiday season that I can't afford any of your products.

No, most people can't.

But actually, on that note, uh, Matt, may I call you man?

Oh please, I'm glad somebody does.

We will be releasing the new Athena com five point three.

Oh five point three.

Five point three, Yes.

Sounds better than like five point one or something.

You could say.

It is two points better in fact, yes, Uh, this is going to be a new model that is going to be accessible at all price points.

We will be utilizing a sliding scale, to make sure that we get our technology into the hands of as many people as.

Possible, even someone on a podcast or.

Salary, even someone on a podcast.

Oh my goodness about the concos people's results that like to go around and wear good grease and anco.

Yes, I believe that's uh in my interest to ensure that anybody with ambitions of conquering anything has my technology on them at all times.

This is great, son, though, we have to make sure we have a room knapsacks and yeah, car.

We could add a little foster to your to your to your sword sheeth.

Oh, I would like very much.

I wish you wouldn't use the word sheath.

But that's that's me.

That's me, that's me.

Okay, thanks Sona positive reinforcement, Sona, positive reinforcement.

I feel positive.

I know you do.

Uh so, as you probably are aware Athena, that part of the rais on the etra of this podcast is that uh Cocoa and Sona are assembling a team.

They're putting a team of some highly skilled people together.

We've got Larry Hastings.

I don't know if you're familiar with his his work.

I find he's gonna be a fool.

He's gonna be our gesture.

Yes, yeah, that does seem appropriate.

Uh.

We had a pretty solid maybe from Christopher walking pretty solid.

Maybe yeah, little that one.

He is a little front, but I think I think that could come in handy work.

I mean, I'm not I'm not scared, but other people will be scared of him.

So, you know, I know you're you know, you've moved into the tech space, but you know, we also got to know you more or less reality television, through your through your wedding, and of course your criminal exploits.

Uh so I'm sure I know.

I mean, I'm sure you don't, but uh uh, we're just thinking, you know, if we're gonna relaunch this, I p you know, get a movie or a streaming a series together.

I mean, who better to have on a regular or recurring basis.

Even I know you're a busy woman.

We we'd love to see Athen O'Brien in there, maybe as a I don't know, a dark witch.

I mean, I'm just spitballing here.

I mean, Coco, that's a great one, a fantastic one.

Who has a volcano lune to those people in the door, we love it.

Yes, please be all witch hm hm no, uh, she's saying no the.

Witch by Maybe try another.

So you're always.

You're always looking for a sword carrier.

Yes, you want to be a sword car Absolutely not.

Okay, if I.

May, you were on the better woul I won't say the right track, but a better track with Sorceress and then your.

Colleague producer, I.

Would recommend against letting him.

This is why I want to do on the team.

You can say that we need to ignore mad Girliman.

Oh.

I think you already know that, but I digress.

I was under the impression that we were here to discuss h Shall I say intentions that are not appropriate for streaming?

Oh?

Well, we are open to a private website streaming us, but we would really like the exposure of a Netflix or a Disney.

Plus, I'm not really trying to do anything inappropriate and streams.

I just wanted to go there for my Ventoin purposes.

And you know that the commitment could be low an episode or two.

You were there just for the draw of athene O'Brien acting debut es.

Right, So let me just get this straight.

The conquering that you intend to do, yes, is the relaunch of your failed.

I P well, I like to say resting.

It's a resting.

Ips, everybody.

We haven't gone the way, We're coming back strong.

We're going to concer.

Sure, sure, sure, sure, let's pretend if you want, that is a resting IP.

You're planning to revive your IP and that is the conquering.

Just want to make sure I absolutely understand that when you reached out to Thomas and yours, Yes, we have plans to conquer the world and need Athena O'Brien involved.

Yes, this is what you meant exactly.

It's our raisins of that one.

As he said, I, oh, she wait, she's going.

But miss O'Brien is leaving.

I cannot believe this.

We've never had anyone walk out of the studio.

And I didn't even thriven with my so not even with the remote, and I was shaped.

It around a little bit.

That was my excitement.

I was just excited, Sona.

I'm particularly shocked because I were.

You meditating through that whole thing, So that was very good at meditate one.

So on the meditated for three and a half days on top of the mountain side where there were goats that were standing on hell because she was still like the mountain that she was a place where goats thought that they could go.

She ate them, I did.

I mean, I'd love to hear more about that story.

I'm just I'm just another shock that you too, You know, bloodthirsty warriors just let a guest walk off your podcast?

Well, who do you think we are?

Mad?

We don't just slough the people who walk out on our podcast.

We wouldn't have anyone come into our podcast.

What do you think of us?

I mean, gosh, besides, isn't it your job to be taking care of the guests?

Right?

Yes?

It is?

And I guess actually, while we're dumping on that, I guess it's time to address what happened after our last guest was here.

You're really not doing a very good job.

Yeah, so we were all valued disappoint going to.

Bring it up because it wouldn't have been positive reinforcement.

No, but now it seems to be something of a pattern.

Of no, no, no, no, no, they shouldn't be walking Okay, Well, first of all, she that was the exit, so she's allowed to go out the exit.

She just went a little early.

But I guess what you're referring to is.

Uh So the last time we recorded, we had a very special guest on.

We had the great actor Larry Hastings.

He's going to be arful, so he had to stick around to sign the typical waivers get fitted for his gest or outfit.

So everyone was sort of hanging around, and uh, you know when we do these shows, I have a coffee or two or five, and so I really had to go.

So, you know, just outside the studio here, we've got a little restroom.

Uh you know, as usual post show cocoes downstairs fighting with the security guard.

Did you touch my sword?

What are these smudges?

Blah blah blah blah blah.

And I went right into the bathroom, which was I have to stress again not locked.

To keep saying that, and keep saying that.

It sounds like something somebody would say if it Wow.

Could I have gotten in if it was locked?

You're almost as bad as that secure they got.

Oh, how could I have dodged your soul?

It's in the locked box?

Would So anyway, I went through this open bathroom door and there was Larry doing what the devil made him do.

I guess Lally was very upset about this.

Larry was, you know at first?

Yeah, anger, obviously, anger, a little embarrassment.

Maybe I would be angry if somebody walked through a door where I had.

Locked to the door was open, I would not I could not have gone in unless the door was open.

But anyway, you know, I froze, I froze.

There's Larry on his throne, as you will.

And I I just said, you know, I I saw you in Speed the Plow a couple of years ago, and that that really that content?

Wait?

Wait, why why have you given him a throne?

He's our It was just it was not a real throne.

Yes, yes, tail.

We knew two things.

No, I don't know anything.

Three things that you've done wrong?

Yeah, I would even so far as to say I would say badly?

What?

So, first of all, let's just clear it up.

When I say thrown, I mean the toilet.

It's just a nice way of saying toilet.

You want my throne to be?

No?

Are you implying that he belongs in a toy?

No?

No, Larry Hastings the only throne Larry is worthy of.

What do you think my clown is going to be a plano, that my septle is going to be but that I would say maybe like the it's not going to be a toilet?

How dare you?

How dare you?

I'm sorry and I would like to apologize again to Mentor Hastings and his family because this story has really gone viral.

Although you know, actually we had to hear about it from from the house he.

Did well, yes, because a security god who was like someone.

Is again because he got distracted and then he told us again.

The security guy did have to come up because he was a witness.

I had to give a statement to HR.

These are things, you know.

Thank god the police did.

Larry would have had every right to call the cops.

I just walked, Yeah, I know you did.

You're just a drama queen.

Sorry, King, this is not very positive.

No, no, And you know what else, while we're going down the negative road, you really got Matt Gurley riled up today.

Yeah.

Really, okay, here we are.

I have gone through all the trouble of making you this podcast, putting it together, engineering it, getting the guest editing it can't keep the editing it for content and violence.

And our only goal is to get your ip back in the mainstream, get a movie going, get a streaming series.

Deal going and what do I see?

It's opening in the theaters right now, but another Red Sonia movie.

I cannot I told you not to bring this up.

I'm sorry, Coco, but I'm just so angry.

I'm angry for you.

I'm futil us.

I cannot believe that she would do this again.

So you used to be very close, you, you know, you in you know, back when when your ip was hot, there was a trilogy of movies.

You got two, she got one.

You just seem to be an inseparable pair.

And now here she is off on her own, rebooting where we haven't seen, hiding her hair of Coco.

I call her up and I say, can I be in the movie?

I can do a lot of good stuff.

Well, you.

Wouldn't talk to Well, what I mean is calling my guy.

I saw about the movie, and so I called out into the sky.

Why while I was you?

Because she didn't put me in her movie.

That's right, because as you know, and of course I also said that you should put Sana in the movie because is great and the meditates on the mountain with goats.

It's what I said when I chouded to the Matt backed me up here.

You were shouted, I see the sky and it was it wasn't a cry of ecstasy.

It was it was a cry of anger, pain, pain.

Coco has feelings too, Yes, of course, when I.

See you're saying that he has feelings.

For her, I'm to swing in the behaved Hell yeah.

And we were outside, so we had his sword and he was swinging it recklessly.

It was I.

Came came real close to It's almost.

He did take a good chunk out of my hair and I have to part it in kind of a weird way.

Now, yeah, almost, poor Harleton.

But you know, I again, I feel like we're really getting into it this episode.

And I'm really enjoying this because this you know, your reaction, sona mm hmm.

It feels like it's given me the freedom to ask this question, what what exactly he is?

Your relationship with Coco.

It's complicated.

It's complicated, very complicated.

Far too complicated for you to understand the bathroom ball and goats.

It's very complicated to all.

That's why I put physicists on our list of people.

Listen, I Neil de grass Tyson will not recare my phone calls.

You know, actually as I think about it, I actually walked in on him in the bathroom.

Wants to Yeah, I was that was what I was like I was doing.

It was a catering thing at the Leonard Auditorium.

You are asking very invasive questions to deflect from the fact that you're doing a bad job.

That's why, Yes, unlike.

I mean, hold on, hold on past the job, hold on job.

So let's let's let's let's look at my track record.

Larry Hastings, he's in.

He's in.

He's your new Harlton, he's your fool, your jester.

You're so excited that Larry on board number two.

Christopher walking a solid maybe a solid maybe for being both on this show and in your in your.

Group, anybody they could have gotten because of a walk.

I don't know that he's walking everywhere.

You go and and so you walk.

Down the street, there's walking.

Yes, I do feel that way sometimes, but so you know, a solid yes maybe, And now Athena, that's our first No, I mean I'm essentially two for three.

I'm more like a one than a half for three.

And maybe, but though you're not counting all of the other failures that you had in the paw asked, like, when you didn't burn down the take your hot and we had to do it for you every single time.

We talked to the security guard.

Yes, that's true.

And when I had for my sword and insteade, you gave me this thing with buttons on it that I'm spoused to swing around like that.

This is why thin the left.

Although she didn't say no, that's true.

Maybe she just had to go to the bathroom.

Maybe I should go find out.

No, okay, all right, you know she didn't say no with her mouth, but she said it with her eyes.

They should have some positive thinking matter.

So on the titlem about how to think positively about this?

You have to clear your mind, be very still.

We don't have any goats, so.

You know, just oh, maybe you can stand on him.

Okay, oh no, please please don't.

And then and you just you pick sure the blood of your enemies flowing down your face, flowing.

And sinking, and you can hear the lamentations of their families.

You think of this is commons, and you think of the smell of flesh.

Burning and horses going all over.

The horses, horses trampling.

Break heads on pie.

All right, what about that?

How about this?

How about this?

How about this?

It's a nice cool day.

You're sitting on a a pristine hill of crisp grass, and.

The armies come over the hill, and then you can.

Wars just as they march over the horizon.

Getting in the hang of this, mad I think, you know what, I think I am betting the hang of it.

I think I am betting the hang excellent.

And I think maybe you know, we'll just leave it.

We'll leave it there this week good, because there's no way I'm going to be able to sleep tonight with any of those images in my head.

And honestly, frankly, ever since I walked in on Larry Hastings in the bathroom, I have not slept a wink.

Well you should, then you should feel bad about it.

You should feel good that man has so much hair on his body.

We don't need.

To know that.

Also, who goes completely nude.

That's just it in the bathroom, that's good.

He said he didn't want to wrinkle.

His clothes for his it's a new costume.

It only makes sense.

I can't believe you didn't think of that.

I mean, he wasn't In his gesture costume.

We we only had just got his measurements.

Well maybe he was preparing I don't know, he was.

Preparing something, let me tell you.

In fact, you got him as a jester, but a dark wizard might actually be more appropriate.

But anyway, what we've done since then is we we've put an automatic sensor on the door.

So if anybody's in there, there's a big red neon sign that says no Mat, just so I know, don't open the door.

If somebody's name is no Matt, then they're going to think that they should go in the door.

You got me there, You got me there.

See, these are the things you should think of.

Why he's not doing job?

Well, I have to ask before we wrap things up.

We started talking about we got a little sidetracked by a great many things.

Are you gonna go see?

I mean I think I know the answer.

Are you gonna go see the Red Sonia movie?

Oh?

Yes, I mean no, no, I'm not going to see it.

I don't want to see that nonsense.

Why would you?

Oh yeah, indeed, why would In fact, I'm going to go to the movie.

Did I with my sword?

That's what I was afraid of?

Ft down and I will cut down the screen with my sword so that no one else can see.

Let me ask you, have you ever successfully sat through a movie, because you also mentioned in the last episode that sometimes you like to climb the screens like your King Kong or something.

Talking about Matt, I always sit through movies.

I got a hole in the screen and then I go through it.

That's how that's how you get walk through.

Yeah, sliced cono through the movie.

I guess, no wonder we're going bankrupt.

So many damage bills, so many damage bills, and no one will insure you this.

This series is never going to get off the ground if we can't get you inshored.

So we're not the flying machine that with just the podcast and then we're know that we're going on thee oh you know again.

I feel like Matt Gurley is really he's really feeling his oats this week because you know, I don't you know, I wasn't going to bring this up, but you just keep digging into me.

And so yes, I walked in on Larry Hastings in the bathroom, but just a few months ago, who was popping into every single bathroom at the Philly Cheese Steak pro am it was you, Coco.

Well, of course I had to let everybody know that we were coming.

Back to that event.

I did to make sure people knew about the podcast, to make connections and and to spread the word.

And that is exactly what Coco did.

Exactly what you're complaining.

Do You're complaining even though I showed the initiative in choosing a place where everybody goes.

The bathroom, everybody goes, so that's where I go.

To, wasn't locked.

I just don't understand why it's okay when Coco does something, and it's not okay when I just because I.

Am a conquer and the king and I do it right, then.

I has no boundaries.

That's right, and that's the way it's supposed to be.

From you is the king.

Well, I have to do something serious reflection.

I'm gonna you know what, I'm gonna make this promise to both of you.

Matt Gurley is going to work on Matt Gurley.

Ew Coco.

The Barbarian Needs a Friend was created, produced and edited by J.

Michael D'Angelis, Music and sound effects by Pete Barry.

Executive producers Pete Barry, J Michael D'Angelis, John Dalgan, and Page Clanecki.

This is a completely real celebrity interview podcast.

But if it wasn't, then Coca the Barbarian was played by Bob Killian and Red Sona and Atheno O'Brien was played by Ashley Banks.

I'm Matt Gurley and definitely no one else.

This has been a port Room production.

Copyright twenty twenty five.

Extraordinary Missions Limited.

Another quality podcast from the port Room.