Rube.

Is it too loud?

It is a little loud.

We like it.

I like it.

Give me my music.

Fucking shock that I had sex with my technology.

And thank goodness it wasn't a dinner, no no room.

Yeah, I'm not a slut like you, except on cruise ship.

Hello.

In the biggest flood in the.

Western Mediterranean, Doug Corral, guys, it's.

Like all the she was a bitch too.

Oh that's gonna get got God.

From just beyond the lights of Los Angeles and steamy Palm Springs, California, It's Mick Robert Bill just say, and this is Silver Riding.

With the Old Gays.

On our show.

We'll bring you the wisdom from our lives as four freedom loving gay men.

And share the silver linings we've collected along the way.

After all, we weren't always old day and all I can say is we've come a long way.

Baby oo.

Hi everyone, and welcome to the first ever episode of Silver Linings with the Old Gays.

We are four senior friends from Cathedral City, California, and one of our goals is to bring the differing generations of queer people together as one community.

I'd like to introduce myself.

I'm Mick Peterson and I'm known for both being wild and wise.

And I'm Robert Breathe and I'm the artistic one.

Hello, I'm Jesse Martin, I am Love.

Hi.

This is Bill Lyons, and I'm the innocent looking one.

Looking you mean you're looking for innocent.

No, I'm not innocent, but I'm innocent looking.

That's the truth.

How would you describe the Old Gays for senior citizens gay who accidentally came together over the years and spreads our wisdom and humored to the world.

The Old Gays are a typical family.

We fight, and we laugh, and we love.

We run away and then we come right back home.

Yeah.

I would describe the Old Gays as a work in progress and as a group.

We're not afraid to make fools of ourselves and that's part of our appeal.

If you've seen any of our dance videos, we want to make you laugh.

Then it goes back over forty years to Bill and I in San Francisco.

We first met in the early eighties, became friends, reconnected in the early two thousands when Bill moved to the desert, and then next came Mick in twenty thirteen when he answered a ad I was running for a roommate in the house and that brought Mick into the fold.

And then around twenty fourteen, just Say moved into the neighborhood and by eighteen he was part of the group.

This long format is a chance for us to really connect more with our current audience and also to expand our reach to the greater queer community throughout the world.

And I've never done a podcast before and I'm very much looking forward to this.

Yeah, I mean it's really done in seven years, and I think it is through those adventures and working on projects, whether they be partnerships or our dance videos or travel, that those experiences have helped to bond us closer together.

And I think it's that sort of message that we want to convey to our audience as well.

Again, we're a chosen family, and that is, after all, what this episode is about.

I would describe chosen family as what it is not.

It is not your blood family.

Sometimes our friendships are thrust upon us due to circumstances really beyond our control, and that we call fate.

What does chosen family mean to you?

To me, chosen family is the closest thing you've got to a real family when your family isn't around anymore.

And yes, you do choose them and you learn to love them, you learn to trust them, you learn to be there for them, and they're there for you.

And I don't look at role play within a chosen family the way one would do in a blood family, whether it's patriarchal or maternal.

There's no really titular head.

It kind of moves around.

Yes, we all play every role in this.

We can be a mama, a daddy, a brother, a sister that you create the families that you want to live your life around.

And for me, the chosen family is the old Gays because I have gotten to love and respect these guys very very much.

And it helps to be in the same neighborhood for us too.

It's been I mean, two minutes to work.

I've never had such a such a short commute.

Well, all the other guys live on the same street, and I don't.

I live down below them, so they call me down the hill Bill.

But I can be summoned in ten minutes.

And I think we would be remiss and not mentioning Sean and Ryan, who are also parts of our family, and they are more in that.

Well, Ryan, he's actually the one who first sparked the idea of the ogays.

You know, one of the other things that's a hallmark of a chosen family is the distances involved and the amount of work that it takes to maintain those friendships.

Yeah.

Now, how would you define the queer community and has your perspective on community changed throughout different phases of your life.

Well, I see the definition of queer community has really broadened substantially over the years.

When I was younger, the queer community was basically my male homosexual friends, people I had met casually and otherwise.

And I just see, probably most symbolically, how the queer flag was created in the Seven Days and how over the years the meaning behind it has expanded.

I tell you, I have never experienced the queer community seriously until I moved here, because they are all over and this is my heaven on earth and I cannot imagine living somewhere else.

And just for our listeners of where.

Do we live, we live in Cathedral City, Cove, Palm Springs, California.

So you don't have to move here.

We leve for you to visit critically.

For me, the definition of what is queer has changed dramatically.

When I first came out, I thought it was just, you know, a binary thing.

But I over the last really ten to fifteen years, have come to understand that what it means to be queer is much more broad in scope.

And I think one of the beauties of our community is its embrace of this change, of this greater diversity, And it is our embrace of this change that now once again has brought a really strong backlash against our rights, many of the rights that we fought for and that we're not going to give up.

The queer community has changed over the years because it's not passive.

We used to accept the fact that we were going to be arrested if we were in a gay bar, and that was it, and that we made sure that we had a lawyer to make sure that our names were not printed in the local paper.

That kind of thing that existed.

Then, you know the fact that you could be thrown out of work, you could be thrown out of your house, you could be stopped, you could be arrested just simply for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, with a place enclothesmen, and you know, we send out our hearts and prayers to our queer community who in many countries for your being arrested or killed.

And so though the times are precarious, I also am really heartened by the fact that we continue to grow and expand despite everything that's being thrown against us.

I totally agree with you, Rick.

And one experience I had when I was in a gay bar.

I was nineteen, but I had a fake ID, so I was I was nervous anyway about that, and one of my friends walked in, saw a buddy of his, went over and shook hands and was immediately arrested and he lost his job as a school teacher.

And all I can say is we've come a long way, baby.

The gay community is much bolder today than it was coming out in Saint Louis.

The gay community there literally hid itself and stayed in the shadows and were forced by circumstances to meet other gay people in park cruising and other forms of back alley if you will meetings.

But what really was very noticeable to me and has left a lasting impression is moving to San Francisco in nineteen eighty and just by coincidence the beginning of the AIDS epidemic, how the gay community came up with all kinds of ways to support, raise funds, express outrage against the action of society and government.

So yes, there have been dramatic changes over the years, and I recall recently seeing an article that used the figure of twenty five percent of young people now identify themselves as the broad definition of queer.

Yeah, yeah, Why do you think chosen family is so central to queer life?

I can answer for myself only.

It's important for me because I don't want to be alone.

I'm thinking now I'm seventy one, and I think of dying, And luckily I have an adopted little brother who is there for me, has proven his love to me and flown out here when I was sick.

And that's what the family's about, having someone there for me when I really need them.

You find out who you're real friends and chosen friends are because they will reach out to you to make sure that you're okay, and that's very important as a single black man here.

Also, when I was coming out, I didn't have a chosen family.

In fact, I didn't even have any friends or peers who were gay, and in high school I had to act straight and all that.

And today there are so many things available to young people, like all the high schools in the Coachella Valley here have straight and gay alliances where it might not be a chosen family, but it certainly someone who can answer your questions and sets you straight about what's going on.

Yes, the importance of having a sounding board for your ideas, questions do you have about yours that you can ask others and knowing that they will give you constructive responses that help you process what you're going through.

And just to me, the term ally is kind of a new term relative to the gay community, which opens a whole vast amount of people who do not have to be members of the queer community, but yet be totally supportive of the queer community.

When I came out, which was in the nineteen seventies, I had no other choice but to seek out friends.

And what was incredible was that when I did come out, this is going to get me into trouble.

But this is the real reason why the song was written.

It was called the Ymca, But you've got to remember that this was this is a song about gay liberation and the fact that you can go to the YMCA, get yourself clean and make a lot of new friends, especially the YMCA in New York City.

Well, I say especially the YMCA in San Francisco because after the bars closed, everyone went to the YMCA for their activities and it was a wild, wild place, wonderful.

Well in that vein, can you talk about a time when either your queer community friends or one of the old gays has helped you through a hard time.

I have something and it is directly related to Bob.

In two thousand and eight, during the financial crisis, I lost my home in Palm Springs and I didn't know what to do.

I was almost on the streets, and I told Bob what was happening to me, and Bob said, well, there's a new senior complex down at the bottom of the hill that you might check out.

And in one week I got the very last apartment in my apartment building, and I was so relieved, I can't tell you.

I literally was on the street and without Bob's help, I would have been a goner.

I had one friend, major friend, kevin'sy's name, that when I had my last surgery, moved in to my place, and he gave like I have never seen before.

He cleaned, he made sure I was okay, that I was healing, that I was made to my appointments, And I will forever be indebted to him for giving up his home for two months to live in mind and help me through it.

And I might.

Add he is the most wonderful massage therapist you have ever met.

He is, He's really wonderful.

His massage is like him.

He gives all of himself to Yes.

What is the most bizarre way you've met a new friend?

Now?

I would say the most bizarre way that I met a new friend is that we didn't have sex first school.

Yes, that probably was bizarre for you, was it was bizarre for me?

You know the old line I never do anything twice?

I was just thinking.

Another bizarre way I met a new friend was on the internet.

Yes, actually through a dating app.

But to spit it out, well, that included sex.

Okay.

So you know, I'm one of those homosexuals out there who believes that really a relationship doesn't really begin until you've had sex, and then afterwards that's when the friendship starts.

You know, that's true?

A lot, I do coffee first, sounds very sounds very boring.

I was going to say, it sounds very diuretic.

Michael.

We'll be back with silver linings after the break.

We're back with silver linings.

Now for our younger listeners, what's some advice for keeping or making friends as an adult?

You know, it almost sounds like like question time at the met Opera podcast.

Okay, again, the question is what some advice you have for keeping or making friends as an adult?

The most important thing is trust.

Trust.

Once you lose trust in someone, you can never gain it bad And I would like to add a perspective that we're all human and as human beings, we have mood swings.

Sometimes we have a bad day, and don't judge your new friends on the basis of a bad moment.

Realize that they like you go through tough times, and the true test of a friendship is maintaining your image of that person through the worst of times.

It takes a lot of communication, it takes a lot of work.

Sometimes you will be giving more than the friend will and that's okay, But don't lose respect for yourself and all of it, and make sure that you're getting back something from other people.

I would just add a caveat to our younger listeners and say friendships aren't always made to last forever.

That people come into your life, you become very close with them, your friendships are very strong, and then something happens where there is a change in both of you and it's it's not the end of something, it's just it's a friendship changes.

Maybe it's not as intimate as it was before, but that's okay.

These are people who will be significant throughout your whole life, and that you will look back on those friends and either see them for what they are or take something of value from that, and that's how you add on to the next friendships that you have.

Yes, now, how has your friendship with each of us changed you?

Well, it's changed me a lot because I've been single now for twenty five years, haven't had someone really really close, and the old gays have come around and you have pointed out things that have made me make a lot of changes about what I do and how I think about myself.

And now he's a better dancer.

I've learned patience, I've learned a different type of love with you guys, I really have and it's been an amazing journey because it's taken me through stuff that none of us probably would have been through, and it's made me who I am because I am a part of all of you, everybody that touches my life I become.

I take some of you away with me and I thank you for it.

Some I'll leave because we're all human and we can be little bitches sometimes, but it's okay.

We're human.

Yippie for me.

I love the three of you very much.

You know, you're the significant people in my life.

I don't have anybody, especially in my life anymore, and sometimes I pine for that, but I realize, you know, between my health and this project, that's plenty plenty time there spent.

You know, we're all doing show business, and the nature of show business is such that it can actually drive people apart.

And you know, if you can hold onto your friendships and grow as quite frankly a business and become more professional in our outlook, that's a way I think that we will transcend any challenges that we have.

And also I think that is part of our appeal.

I think that's what's most important.

And y'all give me exercise too, thank you all for.

Yeah, the dancing.

The dancing can be difficult at then.

And I don't know about you guys, but I look forward to afterwards because I do feel stronger afterwards.

Afterwards, just that thing that I look forward to the most.

I tell you to be recovery people.

They think that we just walk in there and start doing this.

It's like y'all just don't know the hours us who folks got it?

Loosen the bones up and everything.

And memorizing scripts, girl, helps keep our minds a little more activated.

Stress is mind yeah, you know, because you know here we are in our seventies and eighties and rather than you know, winding down, we seem to be winding up.

And this activity has really helped keep us active, young, healthier.

And alive and living.

Yeah, which is a message I think we can send out to all our listeners that you really have to be active even if you're in a repressed environment.

You know, look for your friends now, if you know who you are, there are plenty of resources out there for you to access, more resources than you could chain a stick at.

I mean, considering what little we had when we were your age.

Yes, yeah, And I think our message that we're giving about how you're never too old to enjoy life.

We do seem to be enjoying life more and more as we progress, and I think it's an important message to the world, and I see it reflected in many comments on our videos that people will state I no longer fear getting old.

Yeah, And I think that is one of the most important responses.

That I value the most.

Yeah.

Okay, moving on to the real t.

What was your first impression of each other?

Okay, Mick, I'll start there.

I saw pain.

I saw a lot of pain, but I didn't realize how much pain there was until you were healed this year, how much you've been going through, and my eyes watered for it because I do care about you and I'm so glad that you're doing better now.

Robert has just been laughter for me.

We've yelled across the street to each other even before we knew each other, and I look forward to every morning hearing us saw or something going because then I know Robert's okay.

Down the hill, Bill lousy, clousy?

What must I say about you, honey pie?

Bill is one of these people.

He can get nervous, He gets all worked up over stuff, so I have to keep him calm.

It's like Bill, You've got this, You've got this, and then he'll take a breath and we go on through.

Yeah'll work me.

But I love the.

War and I appreciate it very much to say, I love you, I love you all I do well.

My first impression of Robert was a professional one.

It was in San Francisco.

I was running an interior design showroom and Robert was working for the city.

And to be very honest with you, I didn't know if Bob was straight or gay.

He carried himself very strong.

He looked like a stalwart kind of guy, and that was my first impression.

And Mick.

I thought Mick was one of the most intelligent persons I've ever met, because every subject I would bring up, Mick would have an answer or an opinion on and it was right on, and I greatly respect him for that.

I really didn't know, just say, until he came onto the scene with the old gaze.

Bob and Mick knew him because he lived right across the street, but to me, he was new and here he was just this happy, go lucky, loving guy whose main object in the world was to hug everyone he met.

Yeah.

Still, my first impression of Bill was similar to his impression of me in that it was a business type setting.

And then make my first impression of me came from a painting at a gallery show where he was the subject matter.

Because Mick had this beautiful, muscular, sculpted body which people react to.

And then when I met him personally, that impression kind of overpowered everything else.

Yeah, Bob remembers that day very well.

This was a piece of work that somebody had commissioned for my fifty fifth birthday, and I remember walking in and I was looking at this painting and I was going, what's so familiar about this painting?

Why am I just staring at this?

And when I realized what it was, my jaw dropped.

I mean I had to pick it up from the floor, and now it sits in my bedroom when I look at it every morning.

Yeah, and just said my first impression of just Say really was during a taping when we were doing those thirty minute things for YouTube, and just Say said, oh, I've never been happier than when I'm being a bloge.

Now, my first impression of Bob was not at that painting.

I don't remember meeting him.

It wasn't until later when I answered the ad for a new roommate and I drove up in my sports car and I pulled into the driveway of the house and there's this seventy year old man, stripped to his shorts clearing brush.

And I looked at that and I thought, what am I getting myself into?

Life is so interesting like that?

How we end up here?

Sometimes it's on a wing and a prayer.

Yeah, you know, you have to go with your hunches.

You know.

Sometimes your intuition is right, sometimes it's not.

You have to You just have to go with it.

Yeah, take a chance, Lord, We've all taken so many.

This show is called silver Linings.

What does silver Lightings mean to you?

Silver Linings for me means looking for the good and every situation, no matter how bad it may be.

What are you.

Learning from the experience that can make your life better?

Silver Linings is dealing with a bad situation and have it turn around and feel really good again.

It gets better.

There's no place I want to be than now in the Silver Linings time of my life, and God only knows how long it's going to last.

So we have to live it.

Yeah, I've had so many silver linings in my life that they're in the during periods of great stress or when things look the most abysmal, that's when the most opportunities arrive.

You readly have to be an optimist and understand that you know, within a crisis, there are opportunities.

Okay, folks.

That wraps up the first episode of silver Linings with The Old Games.

Silver Linings is a production of iHeartMedia's Ruby Studio and The Outspoken Neckwork.

We're your hosts Nick Peterson, Bill Lyons, Jesse Martin, and Robert Free.

The Old Games.

Our executive producer is Sierra Kaiser, and the show is produced and edited by Joey pat Theme music was composed by Max herscha Now with audio direction and designed by Matt Stilla.

And if you're having fun with us, don't forget to subscribe and follow along.

And while you're at it, please rate and review Silver Linings wherever you get your podcast.

See you in two weeks.

Every weekend, there's fresh meat.

Tell us about that dancer that came to your place at one am in the morning.

You can't kiss baby, We ain't gonna.

Do it any memorable sex experiences

Well not Vanilla