Sarah Mackenzie (00:00): We can pretend we don't need peace. We can pretend, well, peace isn't possible because we've got appointments we're late for, co-op homework, kids can't find books, somebody's crying. A teenager's definitely not getting out of bed and it's really late in the day. A toddler is teething. We can say, "My life isn't going to be peaceful right now," but it's kind of like trying to run a car without gas. You actually need it. You need peace and it was promised to you. That's what we're going to talk about. (00:40): Hello, hello. Sarah Mackenzie here. This is the Read-Aloud Revival Podcast, the show that helps you make meaningful and lasting connections with your kids through books. Now, peace sounds lovely, but what does it actually look like in the midst of a real homeschool life? In the midst of a real chaotic homeschool day? So many of us have this question. (01:06): Last month, in Circle With Sarah, which is my mentoring program for homeschool moms that lives inside of RAR Premium, we had a Circle With Sarah Retreat and the theme was maintaining peace in your homeschool. Because this is what so many of us want more than anything else, more than anything else in our homeschools, we want to maintain peace. Now, the retreat was four sessions and we walked through practical tips for how to let go of guilt, how to hold onto peace, what to do when your day doesn't go as planned, which is basically every hour of every day. (01:40): Today on the podcast, I wanted to share the first session of that retreat with you because we all long for peace, but it often feels unattainable. Well, in this first session of the retreat, I hope you find encouragement for maintaining peace in the everyday very ordinary, real life rhythms of homeschooling. I hope you get a better picture of the peace that's available to you today, regardless of the circumstances that you find yourself in. I hope you enjoy this session from the retreat. It's called What Do We Mean By Peace? (02:15): If you love it and want the rest of the retreat, it's all available now in RAR Premium. Circle With Sarah is my mentoring program that helps homeschool moms teach from rest, enjoy peace that transcends all understanding in our homeschools. There is a weekly Circle With Sarah Podcast, there are monthly mentoring sessions on Zoom. Twice a year, we do retreats like the one you're about to get a taste of. If any of this resonates with you today and meets you right where you are, I hope you'll join us. You can sign up at circlewithsarah.com. I hope you enjoy this session. (02:55): Hello, hello, everybody. We are so happy to see so many of you. Welcome to this Circle With Sarah Retreat. We love this so much every year. You can tell us in the chat. Have you started your school year? I'm always curious. I know it depends on where you live and how hot it is. If it's super crazy hot and humid, you probably started school. Then for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere who don't get sunshine very often, we're like, "Uh-uh, we still have sun, so we are not starting yet." Kelsey Murphy (03:25): Same. That would be me. I'm like end of September- Sarah Mackenzie (03:28): Yes. Kelsey Murphy (03:28): Maybe even October if it's still nice. Sarah Mackenzie (03:30): Late as possible. Kelsey Murphy (03:32): Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (03:32): How long can we delay? Kelsey Murphy (03:34): Yes. Sarah Mackenzie (03:35): We're going to open up with prayer, and then Kelsey and I will tell you all about what we're going to be doing this weekend. We've got good things ahead for you. No prep, no needing to get things organized or think things through. Just come and let yourself be fed into, let yourselves just be poured into. That's what we're hoping for, and really thinking about what it looks like for us to have peace in our homeschool. Let's go ahead and start with prayer. (04:05): Dear Lord Jesus, thank you so very much for every single woman whose here tonight. You know what's on her heart, you know what she's facing, you know the circumstances in her life. You know the burdens she's carrying and what's keeping her up at night. Come fill this place, fill this presence, help us feel that you're near. Help us hear your voice and hear what you have for us tonight. Thank you so much for your love and for your grace, and thank you that you care about our homeschools and about our peace even more than we do. We love you. In your name we pray. Amen. Kelsey Murphy (04:38): Amen. Sarah Mackenzie (04:42): Okay. Kelsey, do you want to quickly introduce yourself for anyone whose here and hasn't met you yet before? Kelsey Murphy (04:46): Sure, yeah. I'd love to. I'm Kelsey. The the community manager here for RAR Premium. I've been homeschooling for, I don't know, a handful of years now. My oldest is going into seventh grade, which is kind of wild. I've loved RAR resources, I used them. I was a member before I took this job. All of this has a really special place in my heart and in my own homeschool. I have six kids. My oldest is 12, and then my youngest is three. My youngest two are not quite homeschooling yet, although they're my most eager students. Sarah Mackenzie (05:26): Of course. The ones that don't need to. Kelsey Murphy (05:27): They're the ones who are like, yeah, "Please, Mama, can I do my school now?" I'm like, "Gosh, if everyone was like this, it would be so much easier." Sarah Mackenzie (05:35): Yes, yeah. Kelsey Murphy (05:36): Anyway, we're in Idaho, which is why we are prolonging our start date, pushing that out as far as we can because winters are long. Sarah Mackenzie (05:45): Yes. Kelsey Murphy (05:45): We're enjoying the nice weather right now. Sarah Mackenzie (05:47): Yes, winters are ... We're not that far from Kelsey, actually. I live in Spokane, Washington. Kelsey Murphy (05:51): Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (05:51): Have six. Three are all adults, either in college or one just graduated from grad school. Well, she doesn't walk until December, but she is on her way home as we speak right now, which is so fun. Kelsey Murphy (06:08): Yay. Sarah Mackenzie (06:08): She was doing grad school in Scotland. Then three that are still at home homeschooling, who are 12, 12, and 13. We also are in the Northwest, so we are waiting to school for as long as possible. We'll start after Labor Day, actually. Kelsey Murphy (06:22): Yeah, that's my plan, too. That's what I'm telling myself. We'll see. Sarah Mackenzie (06:25): Yeah, yeah. We wanted to talk tonight about what do we mean by peace because we all long for peace. Nobody says, if someone said, "Do you want your homeschool to be more peaceful?" Nobody would say, "No, I'm good. It can be chaotic, it can be less peaceful." But the real life everyday rhythms of homeschooling don't exactly feel peaceful. On a normal day, you might be having a teething toddler or somebody with an ear infection, and a dog barfing on the floor, and kids who cannot find their math book even though they use it every day and it has a home and it's never there. You have dentists appointments, and trying to get this kid to soccer, and that one to physical therapy, and this one to the dentist, and that one to the well child exam. And all these subjects, and homeschool co-op is tomorrow, and we have so many things that we need to do. I haven't even started talking about dinner or laundry. Kelsey Murphy (07:23): Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (07:24): Peace is not exactly the word that I think rises up when we're describing our life. But also, what we know is that if we don't have peace, we can't really have a well-functioning homeschool. We're going to talk about what the kind of peaces that we mean by that. Just like you can't drive a car without gas, allegedly you need gas in a car in order for it to go. (07:55): Kelsey's making me admit this story to you all. Kelsey Murphy (08:00): They need to know. They deserve to know. Sarah Mackenzie (08:04): This last April, our team went to- Kelsey Murphy (08:06): It's a team story at least. It's a team effort. Sarah Mackenzie (08:09): It is a team story, but it's also my fault, so I don't know if this is any better. I think God gives me an abundance of opportunities to make dumb mistakes like this so that I have stories to tell you, that's what I think. It has nothing to do with me just moving too fast and breaking things. (08:25): Basically, our whole team was in Waco, Texas this last April to launch Painting Wonder which I think is right behind me. Oh, it's on this side, right behind me. With Katie Wray Schon, we went to the fabled bookshop there and launched this book. We did an interview with Katie, it was super fun. The whole team was there. A couple of us needed to fly out the evening before the others. Some of us were leaving Thursday evening, the others were leaving Friday. We were driving to the airport, and we had noticed that the gas on the car that I was driving all of us in, a whole van full of people by the way. We had noticed that it needed to be filled and we talked about it. (09:06): I don't remember where we went, Kelsey, that we just forgot when we got back into the car. A meal probably? Kelsey Murphy (09:12): Yeah. Well, we had talked about it, but we were also going to lunch. Then we had our member event at the library. Sarah Mackenzie (09:19): Yes, that's right. Kelsey Murphy (09:21): Then we'd got in the car because we're like, "Oh, it's time to get everyone off to the airport who needs to be there." Sarah Mackenzie (09:27): Yes, Leilani and I needed to catch a flight that evening. We are driving to the airport and we are in this long ... Dallas-Forth Worth Airport, which is you have to drive approximately 8000 miles to get into the airport. We're on this long, long road that's going into the airport. Somebody from the back goes, "Wait, we didn't get gas." I was like, "Oh, yeah. Oh, it's fine. We've got plenty." (09:54): I just go on and on, like I'm sure is very difficult for you all to imagine, saying things like, "I've driven on empty for so many times. I'm sure it's got 30 miles. It doesn't really mean we're almost out of gas. We're going to be fine." Then as I'm driving, I feel to myself like, "Did I just get speed checked," because my car starts to slow. Kelsey in the back of the van goes, "Sarah, are you running out of gas?" I was like, "That's what that is. That is what is happening to me right now. This is not great. We have two flights to catch." (10:28): There are, I don't know how many of us, six of us in this van. We pull to the side of the road and now we have a couple of problems. Our vehicle is out of gas so we need to find gas. Leilani and I actually need to get an Uber to the airport or we're going to miss our flights. We're also trying to request an Uber that has no location because we don't have an address to put in. You know, "The side of the road on the 8000 miles going into Dallas-Fort Worth Airport. Can you find us? We're the six women that look like little bit stressed out moms." We're on a side of the road. Kelsey Murphy (11:01): Yes. Not just a road, the highway. Sarah Mackenzie (11:03): Yeah, the highway. Kelsey Murphy (11:04): Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (11:05): It all worked out, I'm just saying. Kelsey Murphy (11:07): It did. Sarah Mackenzie (11:08): We did get the Uber driver to come pick me and Leilani up. Kelsey Murphy (11:12): It did. Technology is amazing. Sarah Mackenzie (11:14): Kelsey was able to find somebody, I don't know who it was, AAA or something. Kelsey Murphy (11:18): I did it through my car insurance. Thank goodness for phones. I was like, "Hey." Sarah Mackenzie (11:23): To bring us gas. Although I heard, I had left by this point, but I'm pretty sure you threw me under the bus at this point. Kelsey Murphy (11:28): Okay. What happened was you and Leilani leave. It's me, and Harmony was in the passenger seat, and Elena is left. Sarah Mackenzie (11:38): This is you left them with a gas-less van. Peace out. Yes, that's exactly what happened. Sorry. Kelsey Murphy (11:43): Yeah, yeah. I hugged you and Leilani on the freeway and was like, "Bye." Off you go. (11:52): Okay, but I was able to do a fuel delivery through my phone through my car insurance. Again, thank goodness for the modern world, otherwise we would have just been walking to the gas station. The guy pulls up with the gas. Meanwhile, I had been sitting in the back, in the second row of the van this whole time. This guy gets out, he's super nice and he's like, "Hey, if you can just pop the fuel tank, I'll fill it up." I go around to the front and I cannot find the button to open the fuel tank. I'm like, "Harmony, do you know where this button is?" We haven't been driving the car. Sarah Mackenzie (12:30): Not that I would have known and I had been driving it. Kelsey Murphy (12:34): A bunch of women in a car that we do not own on the side of the highway. I looked at this guy and was like, "I need you to know that this is not my car and I haven't been driving. I don't actually know where. If you want to come and try to find the button." This was not a safe thing to be saying to a complete stranger on a highway. Sarah Mackenzie (12:59): "This is not my car, I wasn't driving. I don't know what to do and I'm stranded." Kelsey Murphy (13:03): I'm like, "All I did was push a button on my phone to make you show up, so please figure out the rest." It turns out the button was on the door, which I've never- Sarah Mackenzie (13:12): I've never seen that before. Kelsey Murphy (13:13): I've never seen. I think Harmony finally found it and was like, "It's right here." Sarah Mackenzie (13:16): That also makes sense. Kelsey Murphy (13:18): Yes, yes. Because I just gave up and was like, "Well, that's all." Sarah Mackenzie (13:24): I got to the counter in the terminal and I'm checking in. The lady's like, "How's your day?" I was like, "Well, we ran out of gas on the way here and I left a bunch of people in the car there waiting for gas." She's like, "Oh. Well, it probably wasn't your fault." No, I'm the leader and it definitely was my fault. It was 100% my fault actually, but I'm doing fine now if I can just get on this airplane. Everybody made it home. Kelsey Murphy (13:54): It worked out. We got our fuel delivery about 10 minutes after you left. It was great. I felt very accomplished, even though literally all I did was mess on my phone. Sarah Mackenzie (14:08): Harmony saying, "I can't believe I'm having to mentally relive this right now." The funniest thing too is that it was such a harried thing. I think that was the same trip where, Harmony, you brought home the rental car key with you to Michigan. Kelsey Murphy (14:18): She did. Sarah Mackenzie (14:19): It was just one thing or another, yeah. "Was anyone stressed in this situation," Melissa wants to know? I was. I was. Kelsey Murphy (14:27): I was more stressed about you guys catching your flight. Sarah Mackenzie (14:30): Yeah. Kelsey Murphy (14:31): Because we weren't leaving until the next day. It's like, "We have time to walk to the gas station." Sarah Mackenzie (14:37): Yeah. Kelsey Murphy (14:37): But you can't walk to the airport. Sarah Mackenzie (14:39): I'm trying to think if anybody seemed super stressed out. I was stressing out so much inside that I don't know if I would have noticed. My stressing out inside was active loud. Yeah. Kelsey had all night. Kelsey Murphy (14:52): I did. I was like, "Well, I'm here. It's fine." I do remember Elena being super calm. Sarah Mackenzie (14:57): That's also fitting, yes. Kelsey Murphy (15:00): Yeah. Yeah. I think she just knew, "Ah, you guys will figure it out. We'll be okay." Sarah Mackenzie (15:06): Kelsey says, "At the last Circle With Sarah Retreat, Sarah, you were able to tell the story about how you walked into the wrong house with all your children. This time you can tell the story about how you ran out of gas with the entire team." Kelsey Murphy (15:16): Yes. Sarah Mackenzie (15:17): I was like, "Of course." What's going to happen next? We have no idea. Kelsey Murphy (15:19): Stay tuned for next year. Sarah Mackenzie (15:23): Oh, man. The thing is we can pretend ... Let's bring this back in. Let's reel it back in. We can pretend we don't need peace. We can pretend, well, peace isn't possible because, like this scenario I just explained a few seconds ago. Where we've got appointments we're late for, co-op homework, kids can't find books, somebody's crying. A teenager's definitely not getting out of bed and it's really late in the day. A toddler is teething. We can say, "Well, my life isn't going to be peaceful right now," but it's like trying to run a car without gas. You actually need it. You need peace and it was promised to you. That's what we're going to talk about tonight is what kind of peace is promised to you. Kelsey Murphy (16:05): Yeah. We want to talk about Godly peace versus worldly peace. We have some lovely scripture printables in the guide that have some verses on it that we are focusing on. I'm going to read just a couple of those verses. (16:23): The first one is John 14:27. It says, "I am leaving you with a gift, peace of mind and heart. The peace I give is a gift the world cannot give, so don't be troubled or afraid." Sarah Mackenzie (16:35): That one's my favorite. That's my favorite printable. I printed it out to hang on my wall because I love it so much. Kelsey Murphy (16:42): It's really pretty. Sarah Mackenzie (16:42): The image of the dove. Yeah, it's beautiful. Kelsey Murphy (16:43): I love the wording of a gift. It's so beautiful to me. It's not just something that the Lord is like, "Here, I guess you can have this." It is a very intentional gift to us. (16:58): The next verse is John 16:33. It says, "I told you these things so that in me, you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world." Again, I appreciate the honesty. Our God is so good in that He doesn't withhold truth from us. He tells us, "You're going to have trouble in this life. This life is full of suffering actually. But, take heart, I have overcome the world." Sarah Mackenzie (17:28): Sorry, I'm going to interrupt you again. Kelsey Murphy (17:29): No, go for it. Sarah Mackenzie (17:30): Because I was just thinking about that verse. Even if we were to interject our homeschool in that verse. "I have told you these things so that in me you have peace." This homeschool year, you will have trouble, but take heart. That is so powerful because we actually don't know what's coming this coming year. We have no idea what our struggles, or circumstances, or obstacles are going to be. Kelsey Murphy (17:51): Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (17:52): We know some of them. I know I'm going to fight a certain kid on her math. Or I know I'm going to- Kelsey Murphy (17:57): Right. Sarah Mackenzie (17:57): We know some things, but we don't know all of them. But that is part of the package. It's not peace in spite of that, it's peace. That's the promise. Kelsey Murphy (18:06): That's the promise. Sarah Mackenzie (18:06): Yeah. Kelsey Murphy (18:07): Yes. The last one we have is Philippians 4:7. "And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your mind in Christ Jesus." Which again, is so comforting that we can have peace that we don't even fully understand in the midst of all of this chaos. Sarah Mackenzie (18:28): Yeah, yes. Kelsey Murphy (18:29): And this trouble, and this suffering, and this difficulty. Those things do not have to be separate. We can have peace in the midst of all of that. The fact that that's what the Lord wants for us is very powerful. It's just so much better than what the world offers. The world offers peace that is very fragile because it's very easily swayed and diverted. Because it's this idea of everything is calm and quiet, and just beautiful all of the time, and easy, and life is easy. Sarah Mackenzie (19:09): I think if we thought about a visual image too, of what the difference between worldly peace and Godly peace. To me, I feel like the world is constantly telling me that worldly peace is like a yoga studio or something. Kelsey Murphy (19:26): Yes, that's what I'm thinking. Yes. Sarah Mackenzie (19:28): Uncluttered, there are no children there. It is very clean, and tidy, and there's calm music, and people are way more flexible than me. But actually, worldly peace is like the storm on the sea where Jesus says, "Peace be still." That is Godly peace. It's a very different image than my external circumstances have to be just so in order to have peace. Kelsey Murphy (19:55): Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (19:56): Yeah. This book is going to come up over and over again all through this retreat. It is called Searching For and Maintaining Peace: A Small Treatise on Peace of Heart by Father Jacques Philippe. It's a tiny book, it's very short. I love it so very much. I love a tiny book, first of all. You know this, you all know this. Because you can read it, you don't have to feel like, "Okay, I'm going to dig into this long book." You can just sip from it and you can get through it fairly often. (20:28): There's this metaphor that I love so much in here that I think also extends that idea of worldly peace versus Godly peace. This is from page five, if you happen to have this book at home. "In order to understand peace, we can use an image without exaggerating, as we should always avoid doing in making comparisons." I'm feeling a little called out by that comment. I wish I hadn't read that out loud. I'm so sorry, everybody. We should avoid exaggerating. Okay, I will work on it. (21:03): Okay. "But one that can be illuminating ..." Okay, here it is. Ready? "Consider the surface of a lake above which the sun is shining. If the surface of the lake is peaceful and tranquil, the sun will be reflected in this lake. The more peaceful the lake, the more perfectly will it be reflected. If on the contrary the surface of the lake is agitated, undulating, then the image of the sun cannot be reflected in it." (21:29): "It is a little bit like this with regard to our soul and relationship to God. The more our soul is peaceful and tranquil, the more God is reflected in it, the more His image expresses itself in us, the more His grace acts through us. On the other hand, if our soul is agitated and troubled, the grace of God is able to act only with much greater difficulty. All the good that we can do is a reflection of the essential good which is God. The more our soul is peaceful, balanced, and surrendered, the more this good communicates itself to us and to others through us. God is a God of peace. He doesn't not speak and does not operate except in peace, not in trouble and agitation." (22:13): "Often, we cause ourselves to become agitated and disturbed by trying to resolve everything by ourselves." Does that sound like anybody you know, I wonder? "Often, we cause ourselves to become agitated and disturbed by trying to resolve everything by ourselves when it would be more efficacious to remain peacefully before the gaze of God and to allow Him to act and work in us, with His wisdom and power which are infinitely superior to ours." (22:45): Our homeschools can't be free of conflict. They're never going to feel like the inside of a yoga studio. I don't even do yoga, so it's kind of a funny metaphor for me to pull out of the sky. But our hearts can be at peace. What I love about this image is that there's this river in Spokane where I live that it's startling when the river is flowing, nothing, you can't see anything reflected in the sky. When the river is absolutely still like it is quite a lot in the summer, you can see every detail of the trees, the pines that are next to it, the buildings. It's a perfect reflection. (23:18): When I think of if I can get my soul to be peaceful like the surface of the lake, I will be able to reflect God so much better to my children, which is actually what we want to do in our homeschools. If I am undulating, agitated, then I'm not able to reflect, I'm not able to be a good image of God for my children because I'm just reflecting chaos instead. Kelsey Murphy (23:42): Yeah. I do a really fun thing where I yell at my kids to stop yelling. Sarah Mackenzie (23:48): Yeah. Kelsey Murphy (23:52): They're yelling, so in order to make them hear me, I have to yell "stop yelling!" I do it more often than I'd like to admit. Sarah Mackenzie (24:02): There's a whole bunch of people in the chat saying they did it today, so you're good. Kelsey Murphy (24:04): Okay, okay, good. Then you get it. Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (24:10): Oh, my goodness, yes. Andrea says, "I like how you called it a really fun thing." Kelsey Murphy (24:13): Yeah, really fun for nobody. Sarah Mackenzie (24:15): Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's about our disposition I think. It's about- Kelsey Murphy (24:22): Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (24:26): Can we remember that the most important thing ... This is the trickiest part for me, anyway. Can I remember that the most important thing in that moment is my disposition and not the thing we're getting done? Because to me, the thing feels like is can I get my toddler to come so I can put his shoes on? Or can I get my 10-year-old to sit down and just finish her assignment because we have other things to do? And forgetting that actually, the more important thing is not getting the spelling done or the shoes on, but is my disposition because that's what's being reflected to them. Kelsey Murphy (24:59): Yeah. It's so easy to put completion of the task above the state of my heart and the state of their hearts. There's this quote from C.S. Lewis from Mere Christianity that I love and I think about a lot. He says, "The moment you wake up each morning, all your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. The first job each morning consists in shoving it all back and listening to that other voice taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in." (25:40): I can so relate to this. Does anyone else just wake up in the morning, your eyes open in the morning? I think as moms, we are especially talented at this, the to-do list just starts scrolling on our head right away. Everything we need to do, from homeschooling, to housekeeping, to community and relationships, it all just ... I don't know, there's that on switch that it's really hard to ... I really struggle to wake up peacefully and to be able to push that all aside, and prioritize listening to the Lord and not the chatter that's going on in my own head. Sarah Mackenzie (26:27): I also appreciate how C.S. Lewis says that they're like, "they rush at you like wild animals." I think as mothers we're like, "No, they rush at you because they are wild animals." Kelsey Murphy (26:36): Because they are, right. Sarah Mackenzie (26:37): They're not just like them, we actually have wild animals rushing at us. Kelsey Murphy (26:41): Yes. Sarah Mackenzie (26:44): Yeah, "like a steam train," that's what I'm seeing in the chat from [inaudible 00:26:46]. Kelsey Murphy (26:46): Yes, yes. That as well. Sarah Mackenzie (26:51): I know we talk about this story all the time here, but there's a reason for it. It's because even though I think about this story and we talk about this story over and over again, and we've all heard this story before from the Bible, I think it's the one that keeps needing to speak to us over and over again. That's of Jesus feeding the 5000 on the hillside because he's got this throng. Talk about this rush of wild animals. (27:17): I love this episode of The Chosen, that depiction of this particular story too, because it gives you a sense of just how many people. There weren't 5000 people in that video shoot. I'm like, "It was more than this even, there's so many people." Also, the complete feeling of helplessness that the disciples must have had. "Does Jesus realize they're going to get hungry?" (27:42): I don't know about you, but that's how I feel. At the beginning of a new homeschool year too, does Jesus realize I don't know what I'm doing? Does he realize there's not enough of me to go around? What I love so much is there's a couple things the Lord could have done. The Lord could have made everybody just be instantly full so there was no conflict, no problem in the first place, but he doesn't do that. He also doesn't just make a grand feast instantly arrive, or even mana fall from the heavens. None of that, actually. Kelsey Murphy (28:13): Right. Sarah Mackenzie (28:14): Which he could have done. Kelsey Murphy (28:14): Which he could have, yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (28:15): Yeah. It actually would have probably been more impressive than what He did, which was, "Hey, bring me what you have." They're like, "Yeah, not much, Lord." Kelsey Murphy (28:25): It's not enough. Sarah Mackenzie (28:28): Which is exactly how we feel and He makes it enough. That's what He's asking every single day in our homeschool when we wake up and we go, "Are you sure, Lord, because I don't think I have what I need here?" He's saying, "Bring me what you have and I'll make it enough." He's not saying, "I'm going to make everybody instantly satisfied so there's no conflict and no problems." He's not even saying, "I'm going to completely calm the storm today." He's saying, "I'm going to take what you have, I'm going to make it enough so that you're not actually responsible for the miracle." What we're responsible for doing is responding that that invitation, "Bring your basket. Show me what you have. I'm going to take what you have." (29:06): Just curious, as I'm saying that, and I know so many of you have heard it, we talk about this story all the time. I really feel like this is the story of motherhood, of homeschooling motherhood. Tell me, when you hear that, when you hear you're not responsible for the miracle, you're responsible for responding to the invitation, how do you feel? What does that do inside of you? How does it change the way you think or feel? (29:33): Elizabeth says, "It brings peace and hope. Relieved." Kelsey Murphy (29:35): Relieved. Sarah Mackenzie (29:35): "It makes me take a breath." Yeah, "That feels like I can breathe." (29:40): "My shoulders went down," Adrian said. Kelsey Murphy (29:43): Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (29:45): Yeah. "Sigh, a weight off my shoulders. Relieved and relaxed." Yeah. Amanda says, "I literally feel like a huge weight is lifted. Like things are in the right hands. That I'm loved. From fear to hope." Yeah. "It's not up to me." (30:10): Man. Aren't we so glad? Because it can't be. Kelsey Murphy (30:16): Right. It's hard because we know these things. Sarah Mackenzie (30:21): Yeah. Kelsey Murphy (30:23): But the fear still creeps in. The fear that we're not doing enough, that we're not offering enough, that our kids are not getting enough, far enough in school where they need to be. Really, fear is the antithesis of peace. Sarah Mackenzie (30:43): That's right. Kelsey Murphy (30:43): Fear really robs us of peace. It's hard because our worries about homeschool and our kids, they come from a desire to see our children succeed. I think they come from, well, I don't think fear comes from a good place, but it comes from- Sarah Mackenzie (31:00): An honest place. Kelsey Murphy (31:01): ... a want. Yeah, to do well. To love the Lord even. But we're too focused on the outcome, like you were talking about, instead of the invitation. It goes back to that quote that you read from Searching For and Maintaining Peace, that we get so agitated trying to resolve everything by ourselves that we forget to remain with the Lord peacefully before the gaze of God. He says, "Where we can soak in His wisdom and power," because we're too busy trying to do everything on our own. (31:39): The reality is there's going to be setbacks. There's going to be things that come up that we are not prepared for. There's going to be suffering. There's going to be things out of our control. But our goal is not to try to control all of those things and control the outcomes, our goal is to maintain a peace of heart under all of those circumstances, even in the case of defeat and failure, and whatever that looks like in your own life. Sarah Mackenzie (32:08): I see in the chat, "I feel the relief, but can almost immediately go back to but am I bringing enough for Him to work with?" Kelsey Murphy (32:15): Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (32:15): "Am I faithfully bringing enough?" Anna says, "Same." I think just I totally feel that same feeling, and also in that they didn't bring enough. They had a child's basket of loaves and fish. Kelsey Murphy (32:28): Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (32:28): The whole point is that it wasn't enough. (32:30): It's interesting because we do really have to take it on faith. That's easier to do when you have a couple that have gone up through. I can look at all my kids now, my three adult kids and go, "There are whole subjects I never got around to teaching." There were a couple years in there where we did very little school at all because we had so many babies and I was so overwhelmed. I felt like I was constantly underwater. I can guarantee you it was not enough. I was not bringing God enough to work with, and yet He still makes it enough. He still does. (33:04): One of the sentences that I find really helpful here to shift my thinking. Because I think just like you're talking about, Sarah, and Anna, and so many of you in the chat, it's almost impossible to get to this head space when you brain starts going with all the ways that you're not enough and that you're failing because you feel like you're failing. This sentence can be really useful for me. (33:31): I think about the thing I'm worried about. I'm just going to pick something random, just for the sake of an example. My kid's not reading, because there's a good number of us here tonight that would say that's true. My kid's not reading and they are supposed to be reading. I'm worried about this because ... I'm worried about my child not being a reader yet because, and then just why, finish that sentence. Instead of letting your brain stop at, "I'm worried about my kid not reading." Yeah, you're drowning. That's it, that's just all there is to it. Kelsey Murphy (34:03): Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (34:03): Make yourself finish the sentence. I'm worried about my child not reading because. When you finish that sentence, it usually, almost always it's finished with a fear. It makes it really blatantly obvious that the thing that you're worried about is fear. I'm worried about this because I'm afraid my child won't get into college. I'm worried about this because I worry that she'll get behind. I'm worried about this because I'm worried my mother-in-law or my mom won't think I'm doing a good enough job homeschooling. I'm worried about having a new baby this year because I don't know how I'll manage another baby when I'm already so overwhelmed. (34:41): Then what we realize is that thing that you finish with, the because, it's almost always fear. We know that fear does not come from Christ. That's how we can go, wait a second, that's right. This thought of I'm worried that any of those things is actually not from God because when you finish it, it's pretty much always embedded in fear. It's rooted in fear I guess. Kelsey Murphy (35:05): Yeah. I think fear causes us, one, to lack patience and to lose peace, and to distrust that God is taking care of us. Because I don't know about you, but I would prefer that God do everything on my timeline and in my- Sarah Mackenzie (35:24): Yes, please. Kelsey Murphy (35:24): ... way, because I have all these great ideas, so if He could just operate ... Which is silly, because I'm not God. (35:36): One of my favorite stories, and this might sound a little obscure, is the golden calf story from Exodus. You can read this in Exodus 19 through 32. Basically, what happens is God, He's delivered the Israelites out of Egypt. They're congregating at Mount Sinai. They verbally promise to obey Him. God is speaking through Moses. He says, "Obey my commands, you'll have all these blessings." The Israelites say, "Yes, of course, we will." The Lord descends onto Mount Sinai, there's all these things. A thick cloud, and smoke, and trembling. The people meet Him at the foot of the mountain. God speaks to Moses. It literally says, I was reading it today, "God answers him in thunder," whatever that means. (36:29): This is a sight. Moses goes up to the mountain to convene with the Lord. The people stay behind. At a certain point, Aaron, his brother, and a few of the other priests go up a little ways to the mountain. It says, "They see the God of Israel and they worship Him." God calls Moses further up the mountain to give him the tablets of stone to write the 10 Commandments. Moses is there for 40 days and 40 nights, just in the presence of the Lord. These Israelites who have promised to obey the Lord, who have been delivered from slavery in Egypt, who have heard His thundering voice start to get restless after 40 days. They're like, "Actually, I'm kind of bored and would like to operate on my own timeline now. I think we need a new God to worship to do things the way that we want them to." (37:29): They go up to Aaron, the same Aaron who worshiped the Lord, who saw the God of Israel and worshiped Him. He's like, "Yeah, you know what? You're right. Let's make an idol." He collects all of their gold jewelry and they fashion this gold calf and they start worshiping it. This golden calf is going to solve their problems. (37:52): Now, I doubt that any of you are making idols in your homes out of gold. For the longest time, I blew by this story. It's easy for me to be like, "Well, I'm not as dumb as an Israelite. They're just really hard-headed. I'm not that dumb." But honestly, how many times do I have a problem and maybe I have prayed about it, but I'm not hearing an answer from the Lord, I'm not hearing what I want, nothing is getting done. I pick up my phone and I'm like, "You know, I bet I could buy something on Amazon that might fix my problem." Sarah Mackenzie (38:31): Yeah. Kelsey Murphy (38:33): "Let me just buy something and that'll fix it." It is honestly as ridiculous as making a golden calf because what is my heart's disposition? What am I actually worshiping? I'm worshiping my own self and my own desire, and I can't wait patiently. I'm not content to be in the presence of the Lord. It's discontent and it's distrust. Sarah Mackenzie (39:02): Well, I saw so many comments flying by in the chat. Saying, "Even when I can convince myself that I'm doing enough, I'm not seeing the results fast enough." I'm not seeing the fruit of the labor and it's making me get frustrated. Kelsey Murphy (39:14): Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (39:14): That again is us going, "You're taking too long." Kelsey Murphy (39:17): You're taking too long. Sarah Mackenzie (39:19): I'm just going to take this into my own hands, this is taking too long. Which is also, if we go back to the feeding of the 5000, I am sure ... In The Chosen's version of that story, the disciples are getting a little frustrated. "Jesus, I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation here." Kelsey Murphy (39:35): Right. Sarah Mackenzie (39:35): "People are going to riot if we don't give them food." When we're like, "My kid is reading years behind, books behind where they should be," or, "I'm doing all the right things and I'm not seeing the fruit yet," that is an opportunity, that's an invitation for us to go, "I'm going to trust you anyway. I'm going to keep doing the thing I know I'm supposed to do and I'm going to try and do it with the peaceful disposition," because that's even more important. "I'm going to trust." That's why trust is hard and it's easy to go, "Well, you just need to trust God with the hard things." Then when we do it we're like, "Why is this so stinking hard?" Kelsey Murphy (40:12): Why is it so hard? Sarah Mackenzie (40:13): Yeah. Kelsey Murphy (40:14): Yeah. Why is it taking so long? Sarah Mackenzie (40:16): I think prayer is actually our best tool here. I think as homeschool moms, we think of our curriculums as tools, our planners as tools, our resources as tools, and we forget the absolute best tool we have is actually prayer. It's because prayer doesn't always feel productive. Kelsey Murphy (40:34): Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (40:34): It's very easy for us to elevate productivity or work that shows results. That's why we value test scores or finishing a math book because it feels like feedback, it feels like productivity. It's really easy for us to feel like prayer doesn't feel like it's getting us anywhere. Because even when we know that God's in control, we struggle to turn to Him because it doesn't feel like it's doing anything. (41:02): I wonder if that is exactly how the disciples felt on the hillside. When the Lord's like, "Bring me a basket. What do you have?" They're like, "Okay, seriously, Lord." Kelsey Murphy (41:12): Right. "We need to run to the grocery store now." Sarah Mackenzie (41:15): Yes. Kelsey Murphy (41:17): That would be me. I'm that, "Okay, but what can we do?" Sarah Mackenzie (41:20): Yeah. Kelsey Murphy (41:22): Is it Martha? Sarah Mackenzie (41:23): Yeah. Kelsey Murphy (41:24): You know, the Martha and Mary? Sarah Mackenzie (41:25): Yes, yeah. Kelsey Murphy (41:25): I'm the Martha that's like, "Come on." Sarah Mackenzie (41:27): Yeah. Kelsey Murphy (41:28): "I got to wash the dishes here." Sarah Mackenzie (41:30): Yeah, exactly. Kelsey Murphy (41:31): "Why aren't you helping me?" Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (41:32): Exactly. Kelsey Murphy (41:33): When we should be sitting at the feet of the Lord, that is the best thing that we can do. Sarah Mackenzie (41:39): I can tell friends, "I'm so worried about this or that." I could spend a long time in fact, waxing on about my worries. Until someone goes, "Have you taken it to the Lord in prayer? Have you asked the Lord?" I'm like, "Well, no. I was asking you." Kelsey Murphy (41:57): Right. Sarah Mackenzie (42:00): But actually, prayer is an active thing we can do. It's the antithesis to fear because we're doing something actively that requires us to trust. It's an active response to that invitation. Kelsey Murphy (42:11): Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (42:13): We are actually saying, "Okay, Lord, here are my loaves and fish. It's not enough. I don't know how you're going to do it, but please try." Kelsey Murphy (42:22): Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (42:24): We need to do one thing before we wrap, which is, you know what it is. If you can grab a piece of paper, or a notebook, or if you have your phone and you want to do it in the Notes app, that's a great option as well. (42:37): First of all, I guess the first thing you need to do is think about what is one thing that you are worried about right now? That you're like, "This is the thing." It doesn't have to be the biggest thing. You don't have to go, "This is the biggest thing," it's just first thing that pops to your mind. Some of you already put stuff in the chat, so just maybe even grab something that you already put in the chat that you're worried about. Then make yourself finish that sentence. I'm worried about this because, and make yourself finish it. (43:02): See if what you're finishing in there is rooted in fear. If it is, you can ask yourself, "Where is my invitation right now? Where do I need to trust God with the outcome? Where does it feel like there's no possible way this is enough, and also you're taking too long to come down the mountain, som I'm very tempted to build myself a golden calf here?" Where is your invitation to trust instead of taking it on yourself and deciding you're going to try to worship your own God? (43:35): The key I think is basically trusting God with the outcome and knowing that the invitation is what your work is, not the outcome is not your work. Which is a relief when we really think about it, but it can be hard to remember ourselves. I think keeping in mind as we're going that, again, we want to be like the surface of the lake because if we can release our fear and really trust God, our disposition will be peaceful even when things are completely chaotic. Your circumstances will not change, you'll still have the sick kid, and the sleeping teen, and the teething toddler, and the kid whose four years behind in their spelling book, or whatever. Those circumstances will stay, but you will have a different kind of peace. That peace will be like the surface of the lake that the Lord can be reflected in. That's what we really want to do is reflect God's love for our children. I'm going to turn on about three minutes of music, and see if you can finish this sentence, and decide on where your invitation is and where you need to trust God with the outcome. (47:47): What does the invitation question mean? There was a few people that were confused. Based on whatever you wrote for number one, that will tell you where your invitation is. For example, if you were to say, "I'm worried about my child not being able to read and they're nine," let's just say. I'm worried about this because I'm afraid he's going to get really behind and have a hard time catching up. Well, when I look at that, I'm worried he's going to get very behind and have a hard time catching up, that is a fear. I'm afraid my child is going to not catch up. It's like me saying, "I'm afraid that God is not going to give my child everything he needs." My invitation is to trust God knows everything my child needs and loves them more than I do. (48:34): Again, and I know I saw some comments up above about what we're required to do. Remember, Jesus didn't make everybody feel satiated on the hillside and He didn't give everybody their meal at the snap of a finger or the blink of an eye. He said, "Bring me what you have." Then our invitation then is I'm going to, in that case, continue reading aloud, continue doing some phonics, maybe getting some dyslexia testing or some outside help if needed. And I'm not going to worry, and fret, and let that disturb my peace because my invitation, the invitation that God is offering me right now is to trust that He loves my child and will provide absolutely everything we need. (49:21): We can keep going with this. It could be something not even related to homeschooling. I'm worried that my husband just lost his job because why? If this is you, if this is your circumstance. "I'm worried my husband just lost his job because I'm afraid we won't have enough money to stay in our house, to pay our bills." Well, your invitation there might be trusting that God will always provide for what you need and it might not look exactly like you think, but He will indeed provide for everything you need because He promised that. Your invitation is trust. Usually, our invitation is trust. But what is He asking us to trust him for? Getting really specific about that can help us have more peace without having to change the circumstances. (50:01): Because I think the whole key to maintaining peace in our homeschool, the real root is the ability to have that calmness of spirit regardless of what is happening in our circumstances. That even if absolutely nothing changes in your life, you can be the surface of a lake because the peace doesn't come from circumstances, the peace comes from our spirit. The peace comes from trusting God. (50:30): Erica says, "I'm worried my child will grow up not to like me." Oh, goodness, I worried about that so many times, especially with my son. I don't know, it's the certain personality thing, too. But actually, when he was 14, I don't know, I think he really didn't like me, so there's that. He's 20 now and he does, I can verify it. But yes, you worry about ... I'm worried why? Finish that sentence. "I'm worried my child won't like me when they're older because," finish it. I'm so curious to see what comes up. Anybody whose worried about that, "I'm worried my child won't like me because," why? As soon as you answer that question, you're going to have an invitation to trust God because He loves your child more than you do. (51:25): Oh, "because I've lost my temper too many times. Because I'm afraid we won't have a relationship when they're older." Well, the good news is there's always an opportunity to repair. Even if you have lost your temper too many times, the fact of the matter is that you can have a relationship with your child when they're older regardless of what happened before if you can repair. The Lord loves to heal. Again, it's about trust and bringing our basket. Again, it's not about trusting that God's going to take care of it so I don't have to do anything. It's trusting that God's going to take care of it and He's calling me to something. (52:04): I'm going to give and it's not enough. He's calling me to do something and I know I'm not enough, I know I can't. I know I've lost my temper too many times. I know I've said mean things to that kid. I know that the repair feels too big, but nothing is too big for God. I'm going to keep trusting, I'm going to keep showing up, I'm going to keep bringing my basket. I'm going to keep having that hard conversation. I'm going to keep saying good morning and smiling at him, even when he scowls and stomps away. Not that my child ever did this, by the way. Kelsey Murphy (52:36): Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (52:36): Yeah. Kelsey Murphy (52:40): I see lots of comments in here about changing life seasons. "I'm worried about this season of change. The young and lovely years slipping away into real academics as my oldest starts high school. Losing that family connection that used to be so easy as needs change." Yeah, I can really relate to that. (53:02): Change is hard. I really struggle with change. Change is hard. Especially when you're ... I really love those young years that just feel ... They're really hard, they're really physically draining. Sarah Mackenzie (53:16): Yeah. Kelsey Murphy (53:16): But it was so much easier just to go to the park, and go to the library, and do play dates, versus having to sit down and actually get some school done. Yeah, trusting the Lord in those seasons of transition for sure I think is really important. Sarah Mackenzie (53:35): I've even seen this comment. "I'm worried my child won't like me because they don't like me very much right now and they're 18 to 20-years-old." This is when the temptation is to build that golden calf. Kelsey Murphy (53:45): Yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (53:47): We always want to look back at, oh, the hard part was behind us, but the hard part is actually right now and coming, we don't even know what that part is. Again, it's trusting God with His timeline. (54:04): We were laughing on our team one, we were talking about our favorite comfort reading. I said The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis and then realized what does it say about me if my comfort reading is about a demon? It's written from the perspective of a demon, I don't know. For those of you who aren't familiar with The Screwtape Letters, it is a demon who is guiding his apprentice nephew and help trying to get his client, his patient is what he calls him, his patient to Hell. Try to avoid the enemy, who is God, from allowing this person to get into heaven. This is what Screwtapes is. (54:38): "It is far better to make them live in the future, it is unknown to them. So that making them think about it, we make them think of unrealities. It is the most completely temporal part of time, for the past is frozen and no longer flows, and the present is all lit up with eternal rays." What does the enemy do, what does our brain do even when we're worried? It makes us obsess about the future because it doesn't exist, it's a fiction. Kelsey Murphy (55:06): It's a fiction, yeah. Sarah Mackenzie (55:08): Yeah. It's the thing that's easiest to worry about. So good. Okay. Thank you so much for joining us. (55:20): If you enjoyed that session and if you felt like it met you right where you are, please join us in Circle With Sarah. There are weekly Circle With Sarah podcasts, there are monthly Zoom mentoring sessions. Twice a year, we do a retreat like the one that you just got a taste of. If you want to become the peace-filled, joyful mama you're called to be in your homeschool, Circle With Sarah is the place for you. You can sign up at circlewithsarah.com. Or you can sign up at rarpremium.com, because you get instant access to everything Circle With Sarah as soon as you become an RAR Premium member. (56:00): Let's go hear from the kids about the books they're loving lately. Max (56:05): Hi, my name is Max. I live in Portland, Maine. I would recommend the Night Owl series because there's cool posters and a mouse in the first one. The second one, he always sleeps in. Grace (56:27): Hi, my name is Grace. I'm from Arkansas. I recommend City Spies because it's full of adventure and solving crimes. Camille (56:37): Hi, my name is Camille. I am from Arkansas. I recommend Highway Hotel because Laura is brave, kind, and helping. Henry (56:52): Hello, my name is Henry and I live in Portland, Maine. I would recommend the Wild Robot series because it's a captivating story. Max (57:01): I'm Max, I live in Virginia. I like Mighty Jack because of all the fighting. Sadie (57:07): Hello, my name is Sadie Katenko. I'm from Hanover, Virginia. I'm recommending Baby Island because the girls are fending for themselves, building a house, and taking care of young ones, finding food. I feel like the girls are always depending on the boys. I just really like how she was using the girls as not weak, feeble girls that needed to depend on everyone. I liked that. Sarah Mackenzie (57:38): Thank you, thank you, kids. I hope you enjoyed this Best of RAR episode. I'll be back in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, you know what to do. Go make meaningful and lasting connections with your kids through books.