Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Serriti Life with your hosts me Gia Judice, Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Fessler.

Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush.

We are so excited that you guys are loving this podcast as much as we are.

And Rush is happening right now for a lot of schools, so we are ready to dive deep.

We know people have been wanting this kind of show for years, and we're so glad that you're responding, calling in, leaving voicemails, and sharing your own Rush experiences with the good and the bad.

So let's get into it.

I'm Gia Judice, I'm jen Fessler, and I'm Daisy Kent.

All right, guys, So we've had a lot of people calling in.

Let's listen to our first caller.

Hi, there, my name is Rosie.

I want to call in and leave them constructive feedback.

Like Fessler had mentioned, this is a huge untapped market and there is a lot of taboos about talking about the sorority experience, and I think it would be super helpful if you all talked about it from a nationals perspective as well, like why we aren't really allowed.

To talk about sorority life and why we're not allowed.

Where are letters and the press and those types of things.

And then also there was some lingo that I think if we could break down a little bit better, like what a press actually is, what a bid actually is, what a pledge is, what a mixer is, those very things that we talk about in the sorority world.

And I think it would be just really helpful for the girls in terms of how to make an informed decision about joining sorority life or not.

And of course it.

Goes campus to campus, is not a one size fits all approach.

But if you are Teresa, Judice.

Or and you know a mama or dad that is new to the sorority life or girl that's new to sorority life, what that looks like for you.

And I think giving these behind the scenes facts is so helpful for women that are that are thinking about joining this experience.

There's a lot okay, dirty rushing.

I thought it was sort of now, not when I was going through it, but when you rush before school even started, right, And like that whole rush process I hear in a lot of schools happens before rush.

Okay, so my ver.

My definition of like dirty rush was when like kind of like playing dirty.

So when we were at Rutgers first semester, we would almost kind of get recruited by a sorority who had interest in us, but behind closed doors so kind of try to They were basically trying to persuade us to go to a sorority before the rushing process started, so that our minds were made up before going through the recruitment process.

Okay, Mine was kind of like because we did recruitment right when we got to school.

I think we were at school like maybe like two weeks and then we went into recruitment.

And so I would say ours was at San Diego State.

You would like go out to all the frat parties and meet all the frat guys.

None of the like actual sorority girls could go out because I don't know, you weren't allowed.

That was like your like dry period or whatever.

And so you would go and you would meet all these guys and they were older guys like in the frats, and then they would all tell the sorority girls like what girls they thought were like cool and fun to hang out with and stuff like that.

Both were going to the parties, and I had no idea that was happening.

And then I remember when I was like sophomore, and I was like, oh my gosh, this is crazy, but it was so fun.

Honestly.

Wait, that's a wild definition of dirty rushing.

Having the frat guys do your homework literally doing this sorority home wark right.

I'm they were probably basing it off of something sort of physical, that's just my guess.

Yeah, fairly interested in what you were majoring in.

Probably, yeah, probably.

What about you guys?

What about this other lingal rogamma rogramma?

Okay?

For me, that was like when you get divided into groups, so like you sign up for recruitment and then say, there's a they have like a bunch of ro gramma gammas.

So I was with a group of like ten girls and then we have one ro gamma and she's already in a sorority and girl in a sorority.

You don't know what sorority she's in, but she's trying to like help you navigate it and help you find the best like place as the best like home and fit for you.

Yeah, she's she's in a sorority, but she doesn't have any she doesn't try to influence you.

No, they can, like they're not allowed.

So there anyway.

No, No, you don't find out until the end.

I mean you'll try to guess who, like what sorority they're in as you're going through recruitment, but they're basically in charge of like little groups.

Like Daisy said, my definition was pretty much the same thing, except I didn't call them rogammas.

They were called pie key's My guys.

We didn't have any of this.

No, you didn't have someone like leading you and directing you through, like to houses and stuff.

I mean, we definitely had people leading us through, but there was no I don't remember talking to anyone, but you know, the girls that I was grouped with, it wasn't nobody was giving advice or you know, No, I don't, And if there was someone, we didn't call them rogammas.

We probably just called them that nice girl who's helping.

Yeah, honestly, it was so helpful.

I remember it.

I forget the name of mine, but she was so insanely nice.

Really, Yeah, No, I mean they were definitely super helpful, and it was so funny because during the recruitment process we would all try to guess what sorority they were from and what sorority they were in, and basically at the end they would all reveal which sorority they were in, and everyone freaked out and like clapped their hands.

It was honestly kind of stupid, but I mean everyone, like everyone got like so high, like learning what sorority they were actually in and when they like revealed their identity.

But it was I don't know, some of the things really made me make me say, yeah, literally.

Out where they're what other lingo I think she asked what a bid was.

Okay, so a bid is basically when you are wanted by the sorority, right.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Yeah, so like at the end, I remember, we got a little card and you like opened it up and like that was my bid to be an alpha.

Fy.

Yeah, And then I guess technically during I guess, as you get called back, I guess that's not really a bid, but I yes, it's like when the sororities are also showing interest in you that they want you back, so yeah, hoping to get a potential bid.

At the end, for sure.

We're either one of you guys on exact boards, I was you were.

Yeah, So I mean one they say it looks great on your resume, so yeah, is something good just to have like under your belt.

But you know, you can obviously be the president, the vice president, treasurer, take one of those lead roles on but they do take a lot of responsibility.

So I wanted to do something that was a little more fun and maybe not as much responsibility.

So I was Special Chair of Events, So I basically coordinated like all of our big events, which I like doing anyway.

I kind of like party planning.

So I planned like our b Mock, which was big man on campus for at Rutgers, and that was like our breast Cancer Walk because that was our philanthropy breast cancer.

And so I planned b Mock parents Weekend and a lot of the bigger events that Zeta would do at Rutgers.

So that was a super fun, like little position to have on the on the board.

But I wasn't like an exact because wasn't the exacts like that's like the first here, and then.

I would there's like ones under it.

Yeah, so I was the ones like under it.

But then exec is like the people who are all sitting at the front during your chapter meetings.

Yeah, yeah, I did chair your rush chair rush Chair, Oh my gosh, probably so fun.

Yeah, and I I wrote all of these songs to you guys probably don't even know West Side Story like back in the day, but I wrote all when You're a PI, You're a FI all the way, like all of this, like the dances, and that was.

Like you were definitely a nice rush chair.

Yeah, rush chair was, well what is it?

I mean back then I was rush chair meeting that I was like I was in charge of like all of the skits.

Yeah, like putting together Yeah that's your little dances.

Right, Yes, that's what it is, right, I mean I start didn't do anything like I think.

It's also mainly now also like going through the social media and the snagrams and finding your potential recruits that you really want.

So you didn't have social media, you guys.

It was a whole different world.

It was a group of girls showing up a big group and us singing West Side Story and hoping that they were going to think that we were fabulous.

It was just so different.

Yeah, it is so different with social media.

I was on an execue, I did panelnic delegate, so I like went and met with the school and met with Panelonic when they came in and talked to them.

So that was really interesting because our.

School to get mixers approved.

Yeah, and like if you're you were on like probation or something like that, if your sorority or whatever, it was because you would show up to the meeting at school on campus and and it would be like all the other sororities there too, which it was fun because I was friends with a bunch of girls and other sororities too, so it was kind of a way to like mix some mingle that way too, and you could like pair up with a sorority and like do things together.

So it was fun.

But I definitely like I always knew like the tea that was going on, I felt like.

But then I also had to like do accreditation for people.

So accreditation was like I think a good thing about sororities is that they like they make you do community service.

You have to keep a certain GPA.

So I was in charge of like tracking all of that and making sure girls got the amount of community service they had to do, making sure they were still at like a GPA, and then making sure they went to like certain events that like supported other philanthropies too.

We did that, So, yeah, that's what I did.

Did you enjoy it?

Would you suggest it?

So?

I actually I wasn't gonna do it, and then they like needed somebody and people were asking me to do it, and I was like, Okay, I guess I'll do it.

So a little forced, yeah, but honestly, I like, I think that's kind of how I did it too.

Yeah.

I can't see me like just volunteering on it and it kept having more responsibility.

Yeah, I think.

Do you know what I think is the hardest job on exec is risk chair?

Oh my god, I know that's.

Where you I think from what I remember my son because I think he did.

Don't you sit outside of parties for boy?

Is that what that is?

And you can't kind of you're just like you're in charge of like the girls at your sorority.

So if someone like is in like trouble, or if someone like drinks too much, if something like that happens, like you're the one, like people are always like able to call kind of and at like pref and like formals, you're in charge of like being the one kind.

Of you have to be sober, Yeah, yeah, your risk chair.

You have to be sober at these events.

And I mean, of course, you know times maybe they'll sneak a drink or too, I think, and you're always the bad guy.

Yeah, you're always the bad guy.

That's why I think it's the hardest like one to be because you always have to be like keeping ever.

Only remember that for my son, like he'd be on a cell phone like outside whatever party, Like this sucks.

I don't know why I volunteered for this.

I mean because he probably had a monitor who was coming in and out of the frat.

Yeah yeah, yeah.

It's not a fun not a fun job.

Yeah right, So any other lingo you guys, I mean, I'm sure we're gonna.

Come up with dorm storming dorms, which this is like interesting, but like I don't think this was a part of like my recruitment process.

I think it was just the normal thing to do when you were a freshman.

So apparently dorm storming is it's basically going from door to door in your dorm or residence halls to basically like interact with the people on your whole, like on your whole and.

Just like.

Kind of recruit them for recruitment, But I don't think anyone ever did that.

Like I think it was mainly like for us going into my freshman year, it was normal.

Like I remember I was setting up my dorm room freshman year and one of my good friends was a cheerleader at Rutgers, and she like just walked into my dorm and was like, hey, so, like I'm a cheerleader here at Rutgers and was like so kiddy, And I was like, oh my god, what is going on?

But she's been she was like at Rutgers all summer because she was training and like practicing for the cheer team.

So she was like so excited when we all moved in because she's like, I've been so lonely all summer, Like I'm so excited to meet new friends.

And I think it was just the normal thing to do as a freshman, just kind of knock on everyone's door, introduce yourself and kind of get to know people just going into school.

I don't think it really had anything to do necessarily with recruitment.

What do you guys think, I honestly have never heard of that before.

But but you did the same thing right on when you were a freshman.

You kind of went to people's doors, introduced yourself, made the friends of people on your whole one.

Hundred percent, and we kept our like dorm door always opened, Me and my roommate Christy.

It's actually funny.

Thor, my boyfriend was my next door neighbor in the dorm.

That's so funny, and so you probably met him by watch your boyfriend's name door.

Yeah.

I loved Daisy and Thor.

That's like its own episode.

We're gonna talk about that.

I was like, it was funny when we were moving in together because people were like, oh, how is it like moving in together?

And I was like, well, you know when I was nineteen.

He definitely saw me at my worst and my best in the dorm room next door.

So I was like, I don't think I can be most much worse than that.

He saw it all.

What about a suicide bid that was a risky thing.

Oh yeah, So that's like when you only I mean from my knowledge because I remember a roguam like telling us not to do this.

It's when you only put like one sorority.

So say you're on pref preface is the last night before you go to get your bid and you have two sororities and I didn't want one at all, but I wanted the other one, and I only put like Alpha FY and I didn't put anything else.

And they know that then that they know that you're like yeah, all.

In yes, because then if you only put down one like during like on PREF day, like after you go to the voting room and you kind of rank which sorority you want from great is to lease?

So one two three and or is it two for PREF or is it three?

Do you guys remember you mine was two the only.

Reason, so okay, so then it probably is, oh yeah, because I prefed I think GFI and ZATA, so I yeah, I think it is maybe two.

And then if you only put one sorority down and that sorority ended up not choosing you, then you you get into nothing.

So that's why it's called suicide bid, because you could potentially risk not getting into a sorority at all.

So you just went through this whole process and then you could essentially like end up with nothing.

And I think it's because the sorority, I don't think they necessarily know, but Panolynic knows.

Because Panolymic, it's like the sorority will put their bid in for you and then you put what you want in and then it kind of like matches up that way.

But Panelmtic I think hates it when you do just one.

So I think that that's part of the reason why too.

Yeah, I don't know.

It's like I don't know how to extend.

It's like so much.

I'm like thinking back to that time, I'm like, whoa, imagine, imagine And I think, probably, Daisy, it was better that you didn't know anything going in every way.

Honestly, yeah, I think I would have been like losing my mind a little bit.

But also I think San Diego State like is not as intense at all as like other schools.

So I mean at first when I first went in, I was like what am I doing?

And then I suck with it because my roommate and like, I'm so happy I did.

I ended up having the time of my life.

Let's in the collar, hi, Grace.

Another interesting element is I have a younger two younger sisters.

One of them went through Rush two years later while I was at school, and one is going through rush right now.

But the interesting thing is that my sorority actually dropped both of.

Them in the first You actually just reminded me of something that I was gonna say to you that during COVID, though, that was also of something that happened very often they screwed up, kind of like the legacy you know of a sister when, because it doesn't matter across all boards, say your sister didn't even go to the same college that you went to, she should always have that legacy of getting into that sorority wherever.

So they really screwed that up.

I know for a fact COVID during COVID and not during COVID.

It seems to be always a mistake.

But wow, that would have been interesting somehow.

I think that happened at my school too, where it just messed up the way that they did things to where legacy really was not as important as it may have used to them.

And that is something that really put me off.

And just that's true.

Contact your sorority after.

Yeah, I did, and they had ero good excuse for it.

They were like, oh, it must have just slipped through the cracks.

Yeah, you guys, where do when they vote now?

Like, because that would have never happened back in the day.

A sister forget it in a way.

But that was also a time where you everybody will put their heads down and you would like raise your hand.

Like it wasn't like social like you can vote now, is there like an app that you can vote on?

So like it's so anonymous.

Yeah, that's what the US in ours as you like rank people through an app, and a lot more of it is done through technology.

So maybe that's how people kind of slipped through the crocs.

But what what was that app called I forget.

Not remember for the life of me, But it was.

And yeah, it was like a whole system.

Yeah no, I just there was that would not that wouldn't have happened.

I don't think when I went on paper, Yeah, yeah, when I went in, it was a three computer.

We had three Three of my best friends were already in a FI because I was a transfer student, and it was just nobody was going to go I mean, there were three of them, so nobody was going to give them, you know, any shit.

So it was kind of like a shoeing.

But I but even like that, like if you had a mother that was a FI you were getting in.

Yeah.

See that's an interesting thing too, because I had an aunt that went to the same school as me, and she was like, oh, you definitely will be able to get through and just be a kapa because that's what she was.

And no, they dropped me both times.

It would be interesting to like see how Greek life evolves, even like in the next like ten years.

I know, I think so too, because it's weird.

I feel like I've seen so much change in the years that I was in.

School, and yeah, it seems to be evolving a lot.

So oh one hundred.

I think sororities used.

To be more fun back in back, probably when you were in a sorority jet than they were now, I mean than they are now.

Yeah, it was fun, but there was other you know, there was other shitty things that happened back then that wouldn't happen today, right, I mean, you know, just a lot of stuff like the mixing with the frats and you know, getting called and like standing in front of the house like when you got your bid and then I think I told you guys about this couple episodes ago, but like all the boys would show up and like pick, I don't know, there was a bunch of just yeah, that's crazy, like just in case you had self esteem for a minute, because you got in like next the next minute, you're the only one without Maybe this is just my experience without a date.

I mean that was right, but yes, but I mean it was now we didn't have to contend with a lot of the stuff.

I don't even know how you guys do it now.

It's a lot, especially looking at these schools in the South and what's going on.

It's absolutely over the top crazy, right, Yeah, and.

That's pretty insane and just I think the social media elements crazy.

If you don't mind me asking what school was.

It, I don't think.

I don't think I want to say.

Okay, no problem, but you were you said it was down south though, Yeah, so it was really intense.

Yeah, big Texas schools and and so just very intense.

And the moms even are very intense.

The whole ordeal.

It's just I don't know, to a certain extent, I liked it, and I gained a lot of great friends out of it, but looking back, there's so much superficialness to the whole thing that just makes me feel a little bit icky.

That's why I feel like it used to be way more authentic than what it is now.

Yeah, definitely, it.

Was always superficial though, Guys.

There was always a level of that I think.

I mean, yeah, I feel like it is, and then you got to get like past that and find your like good friends.

Yeah, it's definitely the core of all of it.

Once you find like your friends from it, that's what you meant.

Yeah, so your sister and your cousin aren't in it right now.

I remember when my sisters were rushing.

I was so nervous for them.

So you probably feel the pressure.

Yeah, I am feeling the pressure a little bit.

I mostly just feel for them so much because I know how it feels to go through the process.

And have it go really poorly or have it go really well.

Even when it is going well, it's not a cake walk like.

It still is intense and it brings up so much emotion.

So they have both been calling me constantly in tears, are so happy, and it's such a rollercoaster, you know, And so I'm trying to support them through the best I can, and luckily I can empathize.

So that's definitely something that's been really cool throughout the whole process.

But mostly I'm just excited for them to be done with it and start school and get to actually feel the benefit of the crazy process that they've been through.

But one of them, my sister, it's going really well for she's gotten maybe not all the houses back, but a lot of the.

Ones that she likes.

And then unfortunately my cousin, it's a little bit more touch and go.

She's not sure about the houses that she had back.

Originally she got all I think it was ten that you could get in the first she got ten backs, she was kind of on top of the world.

And then actually this morning she found out that she got I think only three out of six back for the next round.

So I know that that's been kind of hard on her.

It's crazy that drop that can happen.

Yeah, I know it's.

Because, I mean, getting ten back that's pretty rare.

It's a big deal.

Yeah, So to go from ten to three, I mean, my heart just hurts like that never feels good, even if.

She's so glad she has you though, what.

I'm really glad that I can help them through it because I know that when I was going through the process, I really wish that I had more people that I could.

Kind of lean on.

Who had gone through it and understood.

And maybe there is something to be said for these sorority coaches.

Maybe there is, like, you know, something to have somebody who actually does it professionally and understands what can happen at any given moment and can kind of coach you, you know, through it a little bit and help out just the whole the emotions of it all.

Maybe if it's a nice sorority coach, they're looking out for your mental health and not maybe what color you should change your hair.

I mean, at least you went through kind of I guess both experiences grace, like you had one that wasn't so great and one that obviously it got better at the end.

So I feel like that definitely, you know, is helping your cousin out right now, because even if things don't go as planned for her right now, just tell her to try again.

M M.

I know, I think that could be good.

And they have Cob and all of that, so I know that she'll be fine and if it's meant to be, she'll find that home eventually, and who knows even through Oh my god, yes.

The COB is you just brought up another sorority wit good.

I said, I don't know what it is.

So continuous open bidding, right, yeah.

Yeah, like you basically just kind of get accepted in.

Right.

It's if you're it's after rush and they have a couple of girls that they can bring in if they want, but typically it happens this semester after Yeah.

I think it's if the sorority doesn't meet their quota or if some people like end up accepting a bid but then not going to the situation, they'll have extra spots and they'll kind of like just yeah, it's a much chiller process, so kind of just.

Be like they don't have to do anything.

They just walk in the door.

You know, she wants to be a theater or whatever, and they're like welcome.

What does it stand for?

So you'll be continuous, got it?

So that's always a good option too.

I wish I could have done.

That would have been so much.

You know, I hope your cousins experience only goes up from here, and I'm happy that your sister yes doing great.

Wow, Okay, you guys.

I feel for her obviously.

I feel for her cousin and her sister, But to be outside of it and somebody you love is going through it.

And again I mean I had a daughter go through it, and it's a different experience.

It's almost harder.

I think.

I don't know, it's just knowing that, like I wanted anybody that was going to reject my daughter Rachel, they had to die a slow and painful death.

It's still like that, like she doesn't get a job, or she doesn't get the boy.

That has to No, it has to be slow and painful.

That person is dead, must be wiped off the map.

So like you know, is a mom of it or cut like you want the whole sorority, especially if it's your sorority.

Imagine your own sorty is rejecting your sister.

No so much?

No good?

Yeah No, I definitely believe that it's harder as a mom watching it because I even I think about my mom and like anything I've gone through in my life.

I remember one time she told me, she said, anything that I go through is ten times harder than anything she's ever gone through, like for her like watching and having to like watch me go through it if I'm like going through something hard.

So I totally believe that.

And my little sister too, someone does her wrong.

I'm like, yeah, I want a pound.

Yeah, you guys see that.

There's a TikTok right now of this mom who has life three sixty or whatever it is.

So she's following her daughter through the process.

She's like, Okay, now she's at I don't know.

Now she's at theta.

Now she's oh my god, why did she stay in theata for so long?

Why didn't she walk out?

You guys, No, it's it's a little girl.

I can't.

I feel like I might have done that if it was if it wasn't all on oom.

But she's like freaking out, like, wait a second, wait a second, why is she out on the porch.

Why isn't she going in?

She taught like just the whole thing is so.

Hyper and honestly, yeah, yeah, I mean I think right now, obviously, even for Grace and her cousin and her sister, I know, it feels like the end of the world.

But after college or even after your freshman year, literally it doesn't even matter.

It doesn't matter.

It's like it's such That's why I hate how like it's it's like.

A fever dream in yeah, but then it goes away no matter.

What you are going to be okay, like if you're in a sorority, if you're not in a sorority, you're going to be fine, Like everything is going to be amazing.

But it's like in that moment for some people.

So many of my friends didn't rush, some of them got dropped from everything, some of them didn't have the GPI.

And you know a lot of my friends, you wouldn't expect them to get dropped either.

Pretty girls, you wouldn't.

You wouldn't think that they would.

But it's also hard if you get blacklisted or if you have a certain reputation from.

I want to talk about that on one of our episodes, guys about getting get blacklisted and that what that's about.

Definitely, Well, I think it's a lot easier for girls to get blacklisted if they're rushing their sophomore year or if they're a transfer, because then it allows obviously the sororities to get to know you and look at you while you're out, and if they kind of don't like what they see, then you could get blacklisted.

Or if you're screwing a sorority sister's boyfriend or this or that, And that's why this one girl got blacklisted because she was she didn't know, and that's the hard part as a fresh you don't know these frat boys and who they're dating and all the ties and literally I felt so bad.

But my one friend in college, she got blacklisted and she couldn't rush because she ended up somebody having sex with someone's boyfriend and she had no idea.

The girls and I could be I'm just thinking about it delaware, Like I don't think that they were allowed as freshmen to go to parties like with frat boys, because they're very thing.

Once you were in, you couldn't.

But what if you didn't rush your freshman year?

Give a shit and you went, But if you were rushing or in a sorority.

Then you weren't allowed.

Yeah.

Well, I don't know if I was supposed to or not.

We weren't allowed to go out like during the rush process, but I definitely went out for semester for sure.

And then yeah, I mean if girls didn't have the GPA and weren't allowed to rush freshman year, my friends went out and I think you're the craziest your freshman year.

I could be wrong, Like I feel like that's the worst, Like everyone was.

Ushman year is crazy, honestly though, there's nothing like it.

Though it's so fun too.

So that was one of my best year, my freshman year, right, my best year.

It's just everything so new and exciting and scary too.

But it's like all of that like compiled together, makes it great.

To say she felt bad for anyone that didn't go to Delaware.

I was like, Rachel, I feel like they're okay, They're okay, they're getting through.

It's funny.

Yeah, that's a great way to feel.

Not everybody does, Oh my gosh, for sure.

For sure.

There's so many And I love you guys.

The message that you guys are sending out that it's going to be okay coming from two girls.

I love being in a sorority, you know, and that you have so many friends who didn't work out for in terms of whatever getting into the top tier.

Definitely.

Yeah, So anyone listening, if you're going through it, if you went through it, or if you're a mom watching your daughter go through it, or a sibling or anyone, no matter what, it'll be okay.

Thank you, Miss Daisy