Imagine, if you will, that you are in a place of great beauty.

Some teenage boys walk past you, they yell out, they bitch tits.

The world you see is a place of paradox of beauty and cruelty.

It will cut you off at the knees, then gift you a pair of easies.

And that, my friends, is why you always always need a buck up.

A bad it beat beat beat beat bed better bad hel I roll.

This studio right now reminds me of being a teenager.

And that side table next to my bed, there's Twisty's packets, Dorito's pack It's hidden alcohol shapes, empty bottles of water.

We are pigs.

We are because we need to come in and we just need to.

Scoff our faces.

We just I cannot need it.

In the I'm not going to lie to you.

I was watching you suck that icy pole.

Sucked it and sucked it.

You know what happened?

Just the skill listeners were new to this.

You talk less.

For once I had something that filled my mouth.

It doesn't even make sense.

But if you say it with enough, doesn't it sound like.

It sounded smart?

Sweet bird?

So before the show as one, because it's the night record always is we go to the kitchen here where our studio is, and we take so much stuff.

Well there's no we don't we get I I mean no, we don't.

We just at ices, not anything to take.

Oh the table says different.

Oh yeah, that's right.

I did find some, but they're mini bags of twisties.

And we judge people that work in this building.

We don't know them, and we're like, no, no lean cuisine.

I don't think so yogurt someone's going to heat it up and bring it to us is a special place in place in hell from a woman and yogurt.

What is going on?

It is not that not a man thing is disgusting, you know what, It's just disgusting.

I think you're out of stack with what yogurt because now that all the boyos are high protein, they cannot get with cottage cheese fermented kurds into them.

They are chovy shovington.

I want my cur cottage.

I've said that often we all yogurt is I'm going to say it the most disgusting food on earth.

And I clapped that as I also adore yogurt.

But this, here's my issue with yogurt and I know, No, I know, the world is not binary cracking.

By the way, I think this spot, this is prepare yourself for this sort of thing.

You shouldn't be able to put.

Here's my issue with and lemon in the same thing you put in sugar and something else, and it's a dessert.

Make your mind up.

Oh no, the flavorings with the flavorings in everything have gone whack.

That's not yoga.

This is not peculiar to yogurt.

Yeah, you're shooting the messenger here.

I know what the end of civilization was when people introduced avocado into desserts.

No, we're already discussed it's an avocado moves chocolate moose made with avocada's when you're already discussed it on the podcast, on.

This pod, on this very pot Actually remember something.

I remember saying that because.

There's a girlfriend of mine who made it, and I thought, oh, I hope she doesn't.

But then I thought she needs to know.

She needs so I remember.

I don't remember that, but we spoke about avocado moose.

No, you never don't remember, because it was me saying something.

Just as I told you, it's not controversial to say I want less female voices in media.

Yes, that's right, because we've ruined media, just as we have ruined burocracy, blood counsels.

I blame you.

Your kids can't break their leg falling from the monkey bars anymore.

Onto an ashvalt surface.

Women blame some woman, some risk averse woman, a council with her multi flavored and probably laden with cheer seeds and brands so she can crank out to a day.

Hey, who's the money behind the cheer seed?

I don't move it, but I'm not on board.

Oh you know, who'll know?

The greatest producer in the land, Sasha French.

It's going on with cheer seeds.

I don't know, but when we see usage, we think cheers.

Of course she loves for.

Some reason, my algorithm.

This is one My algorithm loves to show me, like I care, Kate Lanebrook and Sash.

This plate has forty grams of fiber and it's like, oh, yes, you know, a mountain of cereal.

And they go and this is cheer seed and it's just like a teaspoon of geer seeds.

I don't care.

You know what I saw the other day and I loved it, so have I told you.

My husband's a bit disturbed by how much meat I'm eating.

Like he's just yes, he's disturbed by or.

The particular kind of meat he wants you to eat more of.

Come on, that's so Peter Alan Lewis won't like that, you know, he's like after the fact, we're never allowed to discuss it, and I'm not allowed to mention it or look him in the art.

Okay, we're like that with like affection in public displays of affection.

Yes, exactly.

I have an agreement with Cody.

If one of us ever makes the love hearts with our fingers were out to divorce, well, who would do that?

People do that?

You know when they do that?

Well two with each other that you hold up half and behind.

You just do it yourself?

Who hold it on their chest?

Instead of saying I love you?

They just do the love heart thing.

We'd both leave.

Of course, that's too gay.

I'm just gonna say it's too gay.

Don't do that with the hands.

It's too gay.

Let's go out there's sex.

Yes, that's much less gay.

In fact, when I think of the pain, the suffering and the endurance involved, it's a very madly it's a very fly.

It is.

It's like the Spartan soldiers.

They were all homos, mad homos, were they?

Yes?

And one of the greatest fighting forces ever, weren't they, Sasha?

I think so yes, because who would you fight and die for?

But the man you love?

Later you want to plunder.

I think you need to eat less.

To me, you seem red hot.

There's a lot of eyron in you right now.

I'm chock of block with Oh you know what took my maraki blue?

I haven't taken it long?

Long meat?

Were you eating when your lovely husband turned to you and said that's enough?

No?

Okay?

So he said no, because you know I'm now ordering meat from the farmer.

Meet me at the gate is called they're not indoors.

A great business, true, the nose for that meat, but happily so because it's grass feed and grass finished.

You know that's a trick.

Say that again, so you know when you go to buy meat, and often if you're at the stupor markets, it'll say grass feed.

Everyone wants grass feed now because you know that it's much better, more wholesome, particularly in Australia, we've got beautiful pastures anyway.

Do not tune into ABC radio.

There folks take us back, say do the radio voice Hallo, that's Australia.

The Green Pastures.

Alan's back.

Oh he's back.

I've missed it.

He go on holiday.

I'll take a sabbatical.

No, go local, go local univers some beautiful fishing places at East Fishing.

I pictured him as more of a walking holiday sort of.

But he's one of those guys that says the direction of where he goes.

I'm going west.

He's got a compass.

Yeah, what are you doing for Christmas?

Is he single?

Alan?

Yeah?

Yes, and there's room.

Well there's rumors about Oh no, he's not one of them.

Of course you're not the one that's going to like court.

But you know, anyway, missed him anyway.

The green pastures.

So what they say when they say grass feed, it needs to say your meat needs be grass finish and grass feed.

So what they can do is they can pull an animal out of the paddock, put it in a shed, it doesn't see the outdoors for six weeks, and they shovel grain into it to fatten it up.

They can still call it grass feed.

They don't mind.

They're happy the animals eating grain.

They love it.

I'm passing our bed days on our neat and grains exactly.

It feel bad for the goose in the grass like a mirror.

Okay, well that's it.

I'm like, I'd love it if someone forced her ma.

Another STI.

Anyway, We're in the kitchen and my husband said to me, you sure do like meat.

And I could tell by the way he said it that he was disturbed.

Okay, and I said, yes I do.

And I've stopped pretending that I don't like it.

On your whole life, nibbling politely around the edge, just.

A little bit, no, you know, for me, remember that whole meat free mondays.

No, you know what I say, Hatters get found.

Do you know what?

I have a meaty Monday meeting, Monday, tough as Tuesday, waggy Wednesday, Wednesday.

Thoracic, Thirsday, Friday, chicken Friday.

Oh yes, it's steak Saturday.

Sirloin Saturday, and drink and Sunday.

Yes.

Anyway, our farmer is lovely and I love his meat.

Why was I telling you?

That?

What a sentence?

Here's one for your romance novel.

She loved his meat?

Oh yeah, she loves his meat.

Alessandro, people have seen ideas for Cali my heroines.

Last name.

You're outsourcing writing the book, just the name.

By the way, there's any ghost ride is listening.

We like to call it chat Well I can't, Oh, Kate, Calli Murphy, please Kelly Murphy book or Callie Fitzgerald not bad knock Fitzgerald Murphy is too long, but Calli Murphy is quite good.

Dada dada thoughts works, Okay, Sash.

I'm not thrilled on how they both go down.

On a y Okay, that's right.

See there's always something you know.

I'm not.

I don't love that, but it's all it works.

It's a risk free surname Murphy.

Yeah, well it is, you know, except for the Irish.

Give her a color.

A color always works for a surname.

Kellie brown white, like Bonnie blue.

She's going to Italy because she needs the break.

She's very tired, and she goes, oh the problem with you, Alessandro says, only one of you.

You don't have a thy and ten mates, do you?

She didn't do a thousand stand she did?

Did you do it for around twelve?

For real?

I don't know.

I can't imagine how it works.

I don't understand no judgment what oh, no total judgment.

What if you're not judging that?

That is there's something wrong with you.

We must all remember that that ship needs to be judged.

That ship shouldn't be out in the world.

Too many people, too many meat.

Judgment is good?

Yes about that.

One of her friends in the kitchen says, you know what, she's having too much meat.

She's having too much meat.

It's just terrible.

Yeah, let's move change something subject.

What was I telling you.

About your farmer?

You love his meat, You eat too much meat.

I've disturbed my husband.

He says, you're eating too much meat.

Yeah.

Oh the snacks that we stole from the kitchen.

Why I was just complaining.

Rush was going at them, had cheers seed.

She loves cheers.

See yo.

Yeah, yes, I forgot to ask you last week.

Yes, about your Oasis review.

You went to Melbourne.

For some reason, I became fixated on seeing Oasis.

I think it was because of the feud.

Oh yes, the brother the famous brother.

Brotherly And then I thought to myself, have they been playing the long game?

No?

I just okay, thank you, Because so the concert started with them coming on stage, and they hug at the start.

It's a very perfunctory hug.

Can I just say one thing, please, have you ever seen two brothers hug?

Well, it's not something brothers do.

Well.

Yeah, but there's a bit of backslapping normally.

It wasn't even a buck slap.

It was maybe a bring it in.

It just wasn't particularly because they know the significance.

The whole opening was this big collage about the feud and about how they've been fighting.

That was newspaper clippings.

You know how they do that.

That's cool.

So they they're onto it, so give us a moment.

They could have had a little gentle pash or forehead kiss.

Do your son's hug?

Yeah, my son's hug.

Your son's hug.

Yeah, all right, my son's harg I mean they're always fighting, wrestled and hug.

Yeah, we're huggers in our family.

I was in the city that same night for my own show.

Almost as many tickets sold.

I think so because you did do were you also at Marvel stage.

Was at based on Comedy Club, one hundred and fifty seats, not nothing but a couple of buckhades who came to that show my good thank you.

Yes, this city was so funny because a few weeks or months ago on this pod we spoke about being in the city for the Taylor Swift Errors to a Night.

It was an ocean of glitter and women in denim jackets with daughters and cowboy hats.

How boy hats?

The oasis takeover of the cities of Australia.

Of the last few weeks, I have never seen so many skinny jeans on men in he jeans are back.

Or actually I didn't think they were all.

That's right, you're.

Rattling of the chick.

I'm cleaning up.

No, you know you're looking for crumbs.

That wasn't a clean that was a crumb search.

I was folding our packets.

When someone walks in.

You're over a bin holding the empty packet of twistis I'm folding them, foulding.

I'm at the fridge door folding this lasagna.

Do you ever put a twisty packet in the oven to see if he shrinks?

Microwave?

It's a lot quicker, isn't Mike?

But isn't it?

Aren't they too silvery?

We did microwave when we were young.

I thought you did an oven, but maybe not.

I do have memories of it flashing blue.

Does it shrink?

I don't know.

It's not good.

No, you can't do it now everywhere I looked, just thousands of men in their forties and fifties, skinny jeans, those like leathery heavy boots from Tarot Cash kind of look.

Oh yes, yes, so much, receding hairlines, folding hat and I've got hat Scalore joyful concert.

I was surprised at how many young men they were there.

I was surprised, and also your spot on that was the equivalent of dress ups for me.

And you realize how rarely, mean unless they're in a footy club, how rarely they get to play dress ups football?

Yes, all team sports, and that's really where it ends for a man.

Oh sorry, no suit shirt and pant if they work in the city.

Yeah, but that's gone but nowadays gone now okay, so that's how hard you know?

My theory that they should instead of casual Friday, it should be formal Friday.

And people would love you so much.

You float that often, and I'm not on board.

I can't lie you're not on board.

I like how hot you'd be in a suit.

Yeah, I mean every time in mine I feel uncomfortable.

And you actually are in one more than you think as a comedian because you've got to do TV.

Love you in a blazer, corporate gigs, love you in a suit.

Let me just say that I like it, suggesting formal Friday.

Yes, I don't literally mean you.

I don't literally but I don't literally mean you.

The center of the universe is me, whose.

Life You don't even have an office to go to.

Where would you wear for.

More Friday Judgment, there's a lot of claims.

Someone's taking the tax department.

To call good so they should.

About a home office that they were forced to use during lockdown.

And then the headline was this really annoyed me.

Actually they prepared to cook me up.

And gee, those fingers are not as nimble as they once were with what.

An app yogurt?

Gss tax No, I tell you.

What, just let's just remember this buckwhet's buck knuckles, buckstickles, buccaneers and any we got it.

The headline on the article was Australian's face losing million notes, face losing millions if tax ruling is over rules, And I'm like, hang on, a minute, Where does the tax Department get their money from?

It's not a rhetorical question of us.

Yeah, so it's not Australians stand to lose millions, it's Australians stand to make millions back from.

What the government has had on from our cold j.

Yes.

Just they're always sort of in there fossicking about and sometimes we've got a steaker claim.

I'm going to claim nine hundred and fifty dollars for my.

So the Oasis concert men dressing up a lot of a lot of pre purchased merch T shirt Oasis.

They were all wearing.

Live twenty five or they were wearing the classic just Bright Pale Blue with the just the Oasis.

I think from the cover of one of the okay two things, I thought I knew more Oasis.

Songs then I know, you know, maybe three three that they all played in the opening.

No, I don't know.

Oh no, they would have closed with Morning Glorious Mistake.

Yeah, yeah, I think they did.

And how many albums?

Two they've only got two albums, only two albums and you still didn't know most of the song.

No, okay, Well, because I don't know why, to be honest, but I really enjoyed it, very much enjoyed it.

I've got some criticisms here we go no no now, but it was you could hardly see him stage.

Yeah, good seats.

You're gonna say something here that I have been saying for so long.

Stadium concerts suck.

They suck so hard.

If you're doing a stadium concert, your tickets are thirty dollars or forty bucks, fifty bucks maybe more down the front.

It is a fifty dollars a night.

Yeah, I agree, maybe one hundred dollars if it's someone insanely good.

Mate.

They when you're getting up into four hundred dollars.

Through people at these stadiums, in the top sections of stadiums who have paid one hundred And I know it's crazy.

You a clip on your phone?

Correct is better?

All right?

Oh Valva, I've never loved you more.

But remember this, no profit is loved in his own country.

When we leave the record tonight, they'll be Hords out there wearing their bucket hats and they're merged with all the dates on the back, and they'll be chasing you with Hitchfork.

Or the Oasis fans.

Yeah, I won't like to hear it, but but you're spot on.

Okay.

So the big screen they had in the background had sort of they had like a big collage on it, and it was kind of like very colorful and high contrast.

As a consequence of which you never saw them just playing on stage or singing.

They always had this bizarre frenetic thing in the background, so it looked like a video clip.

So in fact they may well not have been there.

Oh here we go.

And because Liam only wore.

I think he's like Prince Andrew.

I don't think he's sweats because he wore you know what he always wears, you know what, a black coke fisherman whatever they called an all weather yes, yeah, no, a wind breaker maybe very British.

He wore it for the whole concert and it was black, but it meant that on stage you literally couldn't see him now and we were sitting very close.

Anyway, it was great, but it was just you could have I actually thought it on Sat I had such a good time turned out.

I didn't know a sing along is wasted on me because at one stage I was driving there with a couple of girlfriends that are gone with and we I said let's listen to the best of Oasis and Prime.

You know, a huge fan has to quickly recap on the way it's good, hang on, hang on, I'm just going to look up the lyrics on my phone before I jump up and sing along.

Yeah, okay.

And I was singing, you know this song?

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no, you know that song?

No, it sounded like three other songs, but an Oasis.

Well, I was singing, as I always have, Pelican Lane.

I didn't know it was Sally can wait.

Even I know that, So you're going on so pelican Pelican Lane.

I know it's too late, you're walking on by.

I didn't know the rest of the words a Pelican lane, the lane and.

Walk on dress that they used to live in.

Anyway, Oh my.

Goodness, to be fair, and he's so on brand for them to have a song called Palikan Lane.

Of course, it's a famous recording studio.

It might well be anyway.

Apparently that was enormously amusing huge fan to the other people there.

But do you have to be a huge fan to enjoy a concert?

You don't have to be a huge fan at all to know that the lyric is and so Sally can wait or whatever it is, Come on, Kate.

All right anyway, Just on a side note, my girlfriend Alice is best friends with a girl called Sally who she worked with like twenty years ago and they've stayed friends ever since.

And Sally's adorable and she's so English, she says Skellington, which we've always found all that of skeleton.

Okay, she says Skellington, right's adorable.

Cue doesn't love that anyway.

Sally has had an encounter years ago when she was living in Manchester.

Is that where they're from?

Yeah?

Whatever, have you been there?

Yeah?

I liked it a lot.

Can I tell you one of my biggest brags in my career ever?

Yes?

What is a huge humble brag?

What I've got to perform at the O two in Manchester, one of the biggest venues in the UK, what like twenty thousand people?

Can I just think you you can remove humble out of the word humble brow That's just it.

But it's toured with Kevin Bridges, an incredible massive UK comic.

Yes, he came to Australia.

I was lucky enough to be asked by him to open for his Australian shows, which was unbelievably fine, huge crowds.

And then why don't I remember that?

Then I don't know.

And then he said, I want you to come to the UK and open for me in some of the dates there.

That never happened.

I got to do Manchester, I've got to do Brighton, I got to do a couple of places New Zealand as well.

Okay, we've lost I got to perform, so hang on it.

That's like how many people.

It's so many, twenty thousand people, it's so more.

It's so many that you cannot perform, stand up the way you normally perform it.

You cannot wait for reaction, will you seek?

I was so I wasn't shitting my dacks because none of them knew who I was.

They're all there for Kevin Bridges.

And then all of a sudden, oh but first he's the opener.

Wow, it's such a It's like this black abyss.

You know what got them?

This was like twenty eighteen.

It was my big rant about the.

Triathlon, Oh, the London triathlon, when.

Cody did the triathlon.

Oh, a whole bit about going to it.

Ah that that got them.

That was a brag.

But sorry, I feel uncomfortable even telling that story.

Oh don't worry, we'll cut it out.

People would be like Sally.

So, Sally had an encounter.

I've got to get the details, which I will bring to you.

I know this is ludicrous, but she maintains that Pelican Lane aka Sally Can Wait is about her and based on an interaction she had she had with the Oasis boys.

This is a big call.

It's a big call.

I love it.

Interaction with them happened before the song existed.

Yeah yeah, and then after that she's a poem and what was the interaction.

I can't can't say no, no, okay, no, good story.

We've got to get her on to tell us.

Story is going to get cut.

No, I'll tell you why we're forward teasing.

We'll get Skellington on and she'll tell.

Us forward tears.

I think so because Alice said she told me the story years ago, but I was drunk, and I remember it was amazing.

And then she said we were on holiday in Thailand together and she told the story again and it was even more amazing.

But once again I was drunk.

I couldn't remember it.

And we were like, you've got to tell us the story.

We'll get Sally on original Pelican.

On the back from Sally can it's a big call.

To say anything is written.

But also can I tell you something she's not She's not one like you to bigger self up.

She's not dropping Oh I performed at the to Arena.

She's not doing any of that.

She's a nine and thirties London house money well.

Because she's English, so she's not doing that.

She's just saying one of Oasis's biggest songs written about.

Me, Katelaine brook Valvo.

Come to the conclusion known as now that I am an official homeowner.

Oh and also, you know you looked very rugged tonight when you arrived.

I thought maybe you'd be doing some di y.

Well, this is what I wanted to chat to you about.

I have come to a decision and I want everyone to support here.

It's the next chapter, the next chapter in my life.

Yes you know, as you know, I don't want to mention that I performed at the O two.

I have decided that I want to quit all of my jobs except for this one, because it's not a job.

I want to quit my career and become a trade wife.

I tell you, hang on, hang on, let us all drink it.

In, drink it in.

Trad wife, Please let me be a trade wife.

I've given the number that I need Cody to have as an income for me to be comfortable as a trade wife.

Does he want a trad wife?

Well, I think if he gets the number I've given him, sure happy.

Also, I can't, for the life of me imagine what man would not want a trad wife if she's happy.

Sylvia Plath a great opening an oven and trying to we don't walk into a river.

No she was?

Who was that they put rocks and earth.

Buckley, Virginia Warm, Virginia Wall.

I want to make merch that says trad wife by choice.

Let's do that.

At a Sydney live show.

I'm going to get one that says trad wife no choice, because for me, it's a laid down masre.

As a forty one year old renter.

Something I've never had in my life, my friends, is choice of things that need to be done.

Yes, and now that things need to be done that we can do without sending fifty emails to a landlord.

Yes, I'm a busy boy, what.

Are you doing?

He's you're renovating your hanging mirrors.

It takes hours of concentration and for do you have time?

I don't.

I want to be Yeah, Peter said to me the other day.

Well, if there's going to be wallpaper, wallpaper's got to be chosen.

And well I don't have time.

Let me I'll be hones wallpaper.

That's a week.

That's a week, yeh minimum.

Because also wallpaper's got to go with carpet carpets another week, another week, carpets more than a week.

Because when I want tell us about the carpet.

Well, I don't want beige, which is what most of the country told you.

What I'm looking for at the moment, I'm looking for a royal blue rug.

Oh my gosh, days online, I'm emailing royal blue.

What Let me tell you this.

The floor in the plan so far is we don't have enough money for me for me to be as a floor in the plant.

Yes, yes, I want him to pop off make more money, so I need a month for door handles.

But also he needs a tradwife to lift him up where he belongs and he deserves he can make the money.

He deserves good door handles.

He deserves the right color paint for the living room.

I'll make finish door handle.

I will is it brushed silver?

Is it nickel?

Is furnishing?

That decided.

Everything's a decision.

Don't have time, you don't have time.

I will do his dog walk in the morning.

If I'm the trad wife, he does the morning sash.

I do the afternoons.

Don't take the dog away from him, the trade wife both.

You know, he still needs to do the because that's a manly thing to do, and God knows the pair of You've got very few manly pursuits.

Don't take a dog walk away from a man.

He's a very important man with a big job.

He's got to keep his chee up.

I want to let me be a trade wife.

You do your ballet, my ballet?

What do you mean, wife does balance?

Tradewives do balot.

Tradwives this is what I thought, Well that was going to say.

I thought it was something to do with a matte the floor, and trad wives are always one class above the amateurs.

So trade wives don't do yoga.

They do hot yoga.

You get what I'm saying, Because they've got the time, TRAI a little deep four Polariti, Matt.

They're on the thing with being former.

Yes eight in the they're not just stopping to buy some beautiful sour dough bread.

They're actually making the starter from the yeast in there for JJ and growing a culture much like people were during lock.

I don't know where I went and make a sour dough, but I'll try.

We know you also be fermenting in the O two and it'll be bubbling away.

It'll be the most stunning.

Stone ground Trad Buckwitz listening, I hope so.

Can let me say these the happiest I've ever been.

Here we go, and you know I've got a brilliant career I have had for a long time.

The happiest I've ever been.

And a phrase I'd never heard before was when my husband said to me in two thousand and twelve, Darling, you don't have to work.

I can look after you.

Oh my goodness, you're listening, Cody.

As a modern are you doubling in this week?

Now?

You know what, as a modern woman, you can go your whole life and never hear that, never hear it, and not that you need to or want to, but I didn't realize, just someone saying that was so good.

So then I took the next year off.

The other day I noticed, after our forks don't match, maybe I'll have a look at some forks.

Three hours later, still scrolling forks, scrolling forks.

Sure, I had a gig in an hour.

And I had to learn this no, no brad wife.

And you know the plug when I was at school, when the kids were at primary school, and I was always you know a lot of sometimes it's like people like to play women off against each other that they stay at homes versus the working moms.

Don't right well, you know what.

A lot of it is due to the immense guilt and exhaustion that working mothers feel.

So I this is my reading of it that often we would interpret as smugness or whatever.

Just a woman who's happy, not exhausted, and knows the name of all the kids huge, right, So, and it makes you feel like they're saying something about you.

They're not.

They're just like they're holding up the school yard, they're running the things, they know all the kids, they bring the thing they go to the office.

They'll pick up your kid.

If you're you can't make it back in time.

They're just they're amazing.

We love these women, We love these women, but they're not universally loved because there's this antipathy between working women and stay at home mothers, which there should not be, which.

Really kate on the inside, is a battle they have with themselves.

Well, that's right, that's what I'm saying.

That no filter because you listen to me, Friedman.

Because part of us no Sa Sasha and I had this discussion the other day, and we're not the first to have this, to make this observation, but that women have had the mother of all practical jokes played on us, which is the working and having a home life, and in this era, still trying to hang on to some modicum of looks and attractiveness.

It's too much, it's too much.

So trad us, Yes, trag trad me.

You can even surprise trad me.

You don't need my consent.

You don't my consent.

No, they do have your consent.

It's in universal.

I'm signing the form.

It's it's forever.

My consent is ongoing.

You can jump out from behind the bushes tonight and trad me, I'm happy to be tradded at any time and guess what what because of her boyfriend.

Okay, Sasha said the single biggest trad wife sentence I have ever heard in my wife.

And if you are a trade rife, you deserve it.

But it is hard to argue that you're not one when you said this, I'm working one day a week in a homework down this summer down at the coast.

She's going to do it and how she's going to do it over summer and.

You know who you'll be dealing with all day trade Chad one new plates.

Anyway, I love it for her because her boyfriend, as we've discussed, he's got big boomer energy.

And people love to slag off the boomers.

But I'll tell you something, big boomer fan, I love a boomer.

And also I don't like that ageism.

Oh but the thing about a boomer is a boomer man knew how to keep a woman barefoot and pregnant.

She didn't have to leave the house.

Yeah, she had time to look up new for and on the new house.

Yes, two types of people in the world, people who divide people into I reckon, I've picked both of you.

When you have when you have a new place.

Yes, when people visit, which is very lovely to check it out.

Basically, they can drive home and look it up on real estate dot com how much is spent and discuss it amongst themselves, as we all do, of course.

But when people come to your new place, there is two people.

There are people that have the tour and enjoy whatever you have to offer.

What do you mean on the tour?

This is this rue right right?

Yeah, this is this route, this is the bathroom, and they will be happy with whatever I, the owner and the tour guide volunteer, have chosen to tell you about.

The Other type of person is the door slash cupboard slash pantry opener who needs to open every single dime in every single I promise no people, it would split down the middle and.

Actually, oh no, I would look in the kitchen to see what cupboard space is, okay, but the rest of the house, I'm not.

We're talking more where have I of course you would linen cupboard.

You love a cupboard.

I love a cut It unravels already because I don't have cupboard.

By the way, I don't think it's rude.

I'm just saying people, I don't think that's man, Hang on, this is oh oh wow, it's got a lot of space.

You're talking about the people at the equivalented party where that open.

Always go in the bathroom and open and look at your toilet trees.

I do that.

I look for skincare.

I'm not going to lie.

I want to know your skincare.

What do you do?

We have a chat when I showed you about around my house.

But I really I am not lying when I say this.

It's not rude.

I really am not that interested.

It was like when you met my dog.

I was interested.

No, no, don't even I can't even recall.

Look at Look you are a cupboarder.

You are a cupboard opener.

You're telling me because this is this is what gets everyone.

You both think what gets everyone?

On the stairs, they're under the stairs.

When you walk past stairs, there's a door.

Oh no, that's got to be open.

Every Oh no, that's got to be I mean, Harry Potter could be.

People open it straight away?

Do they say, Harry Potter, make the Harry Potter joy.

And then they turn their head and say, oh, it goes all the way down.

That's heaps of space.

Yeah, God, you're lucky.

Love it because we dream of story.

It's like me with my eye cloud.

And a friend of mine gave me the heads up.

A friend of mine said, oh, by the way, be prepared for people opening all your cupboards when they come over before.

And they were right.

You know what, I really just realized when people came and looked at our house, they couldn't do that because there were no cupboards.

Nothing was there.

There were no cupboards.

You know that house when we moved into it.

You know how annoying that I found that lady I.

Did for I didn't realize.

Oh, friend said to me.

Remember the sauna was full of sheets and towels because there was no cupboard.

Can remember?

Or friend?

A friend of mine said to me, Oh god, I loved Kate Laine Brook on your pod when she said that she hated the previous owners of their place.

They say that all the time their place.

Yeah, because you're like, what what were you thinking?

But also I not only hated her, No, I didn't hate her.

I had contempt for she had.

No.

I had contempt for her because you could see what advantage that I'm going to use, say tradespeople had?

What how they took absolute advantage of her, which shouldn't make me dislike her, but it does because she was the sort of person that said, I put my CDs outside and all the homeless and rifling through them.

We brought the neighborhood together.

She sounds like an absolute monster.

Which I think she was lovely, But I just, I just I just couldn't.

I just so she wasn't ad because you know why she wasn't trads.

Trad wives have space, they have cupboards, no, no, you know what she wants.

They're pretty plates and they brought off some you know what she was.

She had a job in the arts, so basically unemployed, but a rich husband.

What she did, or richie by the sounds of it, bright colored reading glasses.

One hundred percent red red red, red, red, red, all.

Of them blue.

Probably would change, you'll be able to find them.

And then when she did, she'd have to wipe the dust off them.

But yeah, she'd have them on one of those changes on her neck at all times.

That's who she is, anyway she was.

Can I just hasten to add she was a lovely trad wife.

Dad, dad, dad, Hello, darling, I'll just mix your martini.

Welcome home.

How was your day?

Oh, I don't like that.

You've got a new sextary.

I have to speak like that.

When I become a trad wife, Yes, I could change my voice.

Okay, so this is the thing.

There are certain responsibilities.

And when my year of trad wifing, which was so intense, I didn't know it was going to be a year I went out too hard.

Remember that sash and I was making homemade homemade parata and flatbreads to have with an Indian meal with like five dishes.

If you're making more than one bowl of something.

For my god, I went in.

And then of course, after about three months, I had a breakdown crying.

I was exhausted and every night I.

Want to have lunch with my girlfriends.

I literally did it twice in that whole year, or three times.

But why was I telling you?

Move on?

You know what trade short for, by the way, just tradition people.

Somebody talking people want to buzz in name another word that starts.

With trad I am telling you now there are some did you know that?

Yes?

Okay, I know that you speaking take away from who the feeble minded otherwise brain injury people who people who are for whom English is not only a second but possibly.

A third hope, so inclusive pod trad trad.

I literally can't think of one thing that is just so.

By the way, if you didn't know what meant traditionally and his his rand, so horror, what is going on?

Because you know why I'm not.

A trad one exactly.

That's this anger?

It is, am I angry?

Well just the last two minutes, let's replay the take.

Okay, this will make you happy.

I'm going to snap you.

To answer it.

Which is what what good trad stand for?

Uh?

Uh?

It could be it could be an acronym of uh the Yeah, I'm just saying.

There's okay, I just want to know in case there's a word I can't there's options.

But even Sash's having a good chuckle at your expense, which I have to say makes me feel better about Pelican Lane.

You know what, there's going to be a buckhead that d ms us and says you know what, I didn't know what it meant?

Yeah, okay, yeah.

Well you're gonna get even happier.

Friend Kate, Well, you're the queen cooker?

Are you not cook No?

I'm not cooking up who's cooking.

Someone's cooking with you?

Oh my goodness, whe is Pete Evans?

By the way, and also now that we reflect on, what did he do that was so wrong?

I don't know what did he do?

I remember, I actually can't remember.

Contraption.

He was trying to sell for a lot of money to cure COVID.

But look at the pharmaceutical companies that are literally good friends out of selling us bullshep.

No one's canceled.

We did this is started.

I've started this, but literally, like, why was it bad what he did?

This is my fault.

This is like Christmas lunch when you say to your uncles and who did you vote for?

And by the way, we're all hopping under colored lights.

Now, definitely I love my led mask three times a week.

Pete Evans has got one.

To cure COVID final covid either.

So why how come they're all right and he's not a right cooking?

See what you're doing with your headphones.

That's what Liam did at the end of the concert with his tambourine.

Oh he put it on his head and put it on his head.

It was.

You have a very famous cooker friend, Ladies and gents to your and many buckheads sent us this.

Well him to the cook, Kim Kardashian.

I'm sending you, like so far a million articles interviews with both buzz Aldrin and the other one do its cross, what was the scariest moment?

And he goes, there was no scary.

It never happened.

It didn't happen.

It could have been scary, but it wasn't.

Because it didn't happen.

So he's gotten old and now you're like slurs on.

Dude, Yeah, so I think it didn't happen.

I'm going to go on a massive deep riven Okay, serious deep dive.

I sent her conspiracies all the time.

Oh goodness, why can't I You're in the company of King change.

Conspiracies with Kim Kardashian all that time.

I've never known someone that's taken longer to get their law degree.

Every time I hear her, she's talking about sitting in the bars, like this has been going on longer than your mom's face.

Did she?

I think she failed it or didn't do it in the complete in the time.

That's Kim on the set of a new TV show which.

She's being an actor on.

A legal drama.

What do you think has happened to these actresses?

So the show's called something Something, All's fair, it's about women divorce lawyers or something good cast goodn't see the other day, Naomi what oscar winner?

Naomi Watts?

She was sitting so they were doing an interview and there were three actors down the front and three out the back.

And I'm like, who's that up the back in the middle.

Kim Kardashy is mid center row center center, and who's that at the back?

It was Naomi?

What's it must be cold there in my shadow?

What?

Why is Nammy Watts?

I heard I heard on a podcast that Kim's also number one on the call sheet and in acting terms, and in yeah, yes, it's the it's the thing you work towards over years of your life.

Glenn Close sitting in her trailer, Naomi Waters sitting.

In kim Ka, it's not good for Kim Kay.

I would love the phone call of these agents calling these women, these actresses, bona fide actresses, saying I got you apart by the way.

You're playing second fiddle to Kim Kardashian.

Almost a lawyer.

Oh my god.

The interview.

One of the interviews I saw one of them actually said and gosh, I felt for it.

She said, of course, Kim's got more illegal knowledge than any of us sitting.

In the bosom.

And that so, you know, so we can ask her a lot of questions when they come up in scripts, I'm like, what you have to rely on Kim Kardashian.

And by the way, I'm very respectful of the fact that she has done that.

But there is nothing but love for Kim k in this pod.

We say that often, but I think it's very disrespect But this is Insanebody puts Naomi what in the in the corner in the middle to the point where I was like, what is she doing?

Who's that blonde in the middle?

I have The answer is because I was intrigued, but I can't wait to see it.

So I deep dived because you know what I do.

I deep dive.

You're a deep driver.

Guess what's happening?

Guess who is bankrolling this show?

Oh, Chris j Jenna.

Chris Jenna is bankrolling the hold.

She's There is footage of her sitting on set with her name on a chair.

What this What name is on the chair?

I want to see it, but she was pointing to it.

She is Jena, isn't she.

She wouldn't try, She's still trying to.

She's so desperate.

Remember she tried to become Kardashian.

Did she Well, she's stolen one of the faces.

Is she still one of the faces?

That's what I mean.

The name is just she's she's bankrolling it.

Oh my, it is the most insane level of stage mum I've ever seen.

This is like a billionaires version of making your daughter win the past the parcel at her birthday.

And also you know what, we know, we know who the favorite is.

Well, well, she's taken her face.

Yeah, yeah, that's your.

My dad chose my brother's face.

I'm reading between the lines.

Whose face would espos It's a.

Good question action, Well wouldn't you go with mine?

Because I'm younger?

Will it just be your numbers game?

No?

No, no, because Kim is not the youngest?

Will do an Instagram poll?

And annoyed?

You even questioned why, Well, he's straight, who never wore sun screen?

This guy with the led mask three times a week, I'm really angry about.

Do you know what?

He's my thing angry about?

I forgot, No, I'm not angry.

Oh no, what else could trad stand for?

No?

Okay, So here's my theory.

I believe that most fallings out in the world, and I think you could extrapolate from that.

Probably you could go the world wars.

Most of them started through fallings out over hypothetical situations.

That's what I believe.

No, so they were like, if Emperor blah blah was going to come, would we host him at this castle of that castle?

And that's how World War One started?

And someone ended up popping him in the head.

They were so angry.

Who was that guy?

Sash?

Was that World War two?

Anyway?

Whatever I've lost, it doesn't.

Sound like World War Two.

Sorry, sorry to sound like a straight guy here, but I think that was something else.

But you know what I mean, I think that's a most family feuds would start over something.

So I'm not sure how I feel about this All's Fair show because I want to watch, but part of me is like, this whole thing is just bankrolled by a stage mum making her daughter happy.

We'll stop us from watching it, all right, And you know what, even if we.

End up hate watching it, like as ever, Meghan and Sex and the City and just like that, and just like that, a good hate watches just divine.

And also, as we know, whatever Kim Kardashian does underneath these very added ass overalls, they suit you very well, though you may think they're oasis.

In spark, very melcy.

I have got the hairrious g string Mercan made by Kim Kardashian.

Sold out in minutes.

I didn't know what color to get, so I got gray, great.

Could you get grave?

I don't know.

I don't know.

You could get white, black sold out and mink or something.

I think you're smart sold down.

But to think we all used to.

Have that and now you can spend for.

Butterfly.

How much would they be eighty bucks one hundred expensive?

Yeah, well considering you could probably do it for free with a bit of patience.

Well, it's I think it.

Maybe maybe it's not how how it works well once it's gone.

And I used to straighten.

I used to have very curly hair when I was young.

Eighty five dollars five a fake because of the U S a US.

Delivery included straight you're doing it, Grand Da door, Hello.

Trapped curly hair in my twenties and teenager, and I used to use the iron my mother tong tongue, yeah, the tongs, and then the hair straighteners.

We all got what were they called again, the big expensive ones.

People used to say to me, you're going to straighten out your curls and they'll never come never come back.

That can happen, and they never came back.

But I think that's just an age.

That can't happen.

That's what I got told.

Now, they can't happen.

How can a GHG effect that your folly call?

I don't know, it can't.

Just telling what people used to say to me when I was a twenty year old emo straightening my friends, if you threw your hair long, now it's just wavy.

How curly was it?

It was very curly.

Are you talking pre puberty?

No, I don't.

I don't know.

I don't know if I've gone through it, To be honest, it's a question I ask a lot.

Sometimes I do.

Just go actually gone through puberty.

I don't think you have had me?

He was, so I think I have.

I have, Guys, I have I've gone through puberty.

Listen to my voice, A manly.

Everyone in my house has.

Now, Oh that's exciting.

The last one's done.

It's what do you think?

What makes you say that?

What's the thing that you go that happenedtimes?

You know?

I know with the boys because sometimes when they call me or I hear them in another room, I think they're Peter And you know, because a boy's got such a piping ready, very similar to girl's voice.

It's just really surprising when they start.

You've got men in that house now, and also that three boys are all taller than me, and.

You know what this means.

You need to take care of them.

As a trade wife.

You're got three strapping young lads to take care of.

That wallpaper is not going to choose itself.

You know what they've got to move out.

From.

Is it a text from a trade wife?

Moum, It could be.

It's from Chelsea, Hello Chelsea and she sent a text from her mum.

He's still trying to get he's trying to get ravenge trad trad.

That's going to keep you awake to have.

I gone through they was swilling in my head all jokes aside, Cody, do you think I.

Have call one of your doctor mates.

I have a text from mum.

She had a barn dance in her retirement village.

Wow, she's the party organized of course, so she could have been a trade wife raid organizers, or she could have been a career woman and someone was organizing.

Also texts, Hi, Chelsea, how's your weekend being?

Our barn dance was okay?

Only three fell over?

The cow was a success, love mum.

It's a text from she had a cow at a bar.

I don't know how she did it?

The question the question and by the way, no, I don't think so.

I think at a retirement home.

Only three falling over to barn dance.

I think that's a ironically named runaway succeed one's too many?

No, you cannot celebrate?

And his cow an actual cow?

Is she talking about?

Like?

I think it was a cow?

The cash can?

I was a cash cash?

Do you there?

It's cash?

Can you know what if the cash care was going to cut to anything?

At seven or thirty in the morning.

It's a bar dance in a retirement village, just before they check the weather?

Do they still do the cash can?

Do they do they still do?

I wake up with today.

I remember now fossicking through ways that I can make my trad wife dream come true, win the cash Cow.

Yeah so much so.

Hi, if you call me from now, I'm going to go I wake up with today.

You won't be up.

But secondly, do they have to call you?

This is this is what's changed in your vernacular as your friend.

Not that long ago you would have said, I'd like to host that show, but you've changed your mindset so much.

I want to win the cash can.

I've never wanted to host that show TV never never, never, sash and I've just got you know why, Because you've got to get up so early because it's television.

So even breakfast radio that's brutal enough, but television for a woman that's an hour and a half in makeup.

That's at two o'clock alarm brutal.

Anyway, this is how desperate I am that when I was writing, did I tell you this?

I bought ten tickets in a in an Art Union lottery.

It sounds legit to win a house somewhere in the Gold Coast and a million dollars.

This is goal.

This is a coinsland thing.

Everything.

Cody do it as well.

Every six morning I go into the kitchen and he's purposely left out the brochure of some nooser house.

Yes, yes, to get it on the Marshals on the other coast, or a Sunshine Coast house somewhere there.

And he's like, come on, they are not cheap.

Sometimes it's like two hundred and fifty bucks to enter a.

Mine was actually mine was.

I don't know if I ever even got the tickets because now online you never see it's not cheap.

It's just no.

But mine was cheaper than that mine was.

I think I'm going to say something, Okay, Satin, it's not real.

Where is the proof that anyone has ever won one of these houses?

Okay?

Next week?

Where reminded me?

I'm going to tell you I'm going to lift the lead off the greatest conspiracy in this What.

Do with the forward teasers this week?

What was it?

I might listen next week?

Here's really nervous about the forward teasers.

We won't do it.

We won't.

We don't do the topics that we write down.

Hey, buckheads, I want you to know this, and truthfully know this.

We walk in and we go this, this, this is this there, and then often we walk in and go and I look at the piece of paper.

And we didn't do it sing and shall say to us topic, We've got every topic from last week, She'll say to us, but this is how you know you're getting something fresh.

You know what we are what we're grass fed, raised and grass finish finished.

For a finish.

Yeah, I'm sorry, what an EP?

I'm bloody bucked.

I'm so bucked.

Did I give them money back?

Guarantee?

The buck Up podcast is hosted by me Kate Langbrook and him Nathan Valvo.

It's produced by the brilliant Sasha French.

Audio and sound by the magnificent Yack Lawrence you might call him Jack and Dom Evans.

Oh we're lucky