Welcome back to I Do Part two.

It's one of your hosts, Jana Kramer, jumping in today.

My guest is someone we all watched on her journey to finding love in her chapter two, and even though it didn't end in a perfect match for her, we're sure she was going to find love again.

It's Cindy Colors, runner up on The Golden Bachelor.

She's here, so let's get her on and talk all things Part two.

Hello, Hey Cindy, I'm Jana.

Hi Janna.

Are you just coming off a whirlwind right now?

Crazy?

I'm crazy, but I remember your country songs.

I'm a big country fan.

Oh, and I live in Austin and I love you.

Ever played at acl but I live in the building.

Oh wow, Okay, yeah, no, I've been.

I I used to film a TV show in Austin Friday Night Lights for a little bit.

Yeah.

I've been to Austin many times for country music back in the day.

But it's always fun to meet people that know me from that side of things, because most people know me from One Tree Hill that then became a country artist.

But it's always fun to find the people that have known me just from music.

So yeah, just from music.

Yeah, well, it's a pleasure to know you today.

I know, nice to chat with you, Sindy, and we'll just hop right into it.

So I have to be honest.

I didn't watch the show.

I've watched now clips of it all, and if I'm totally honest, I had a he didn't give me the vibe that I was.

I wasn't.

I don't want to say this.

I'll root for everyone to find love, but it just didn't seem he seemed a bit of a player from how well I think honestly, it was this comment that he made about wanting to date someone not older.

And that's fine, you know what you want, but that just to me came off a little.

But don't go into show too if you know you are any younger, if you know you want younger, don't go on this show.

Right, So you did you know what he said before you guys started filming.

I did.

I had heard the pod, I'd seen the transcript of the podcast, and then I went to listen to the podcast and I was concerned about it enough to ask a producer kind of what discussion they had with him, to kind of just you know, to understand what that was, and they just described to me, and I figured the network knew better than I did.

So if they said he's okay to be on the show, that I should be okay to be on the show.

To be honest too, I'm still sixty, so I still fit within the range of what he was thinking.

And I have I have lots of people in my life who are on their second, in between second, third, first marriages who want to date younger.

So I get the mentality, and you know, I it's it's going to be what it's going to be.

He's either going to meet these fabulous women who are sixty and over and be like wowed by us, or he's going to continue to think that he wants to date somebody younger.

Right, I mean when when you first saw him, obviously he's a handsome looking dude, so you had your first impression of him when you're on the show, but looking back, like, what was your true first impression of him?

Definitely that he was handsome and that you know, I projected some stuff onto him that maybe right or wrong, But he's a professional athlete.

I grew up cheering and then I danced for the Dallas Mavericks, so I've been around that group of people, and back in the day, it wasn't like where you went to make a lot of money.

That's just not what it was.

He was a hard worker.

He sacrificed his body for his team and the city.

And I recognize the dedication that it takes to play his position for that many years for the same team and then to step out of that to become an attorney.

I was projecting onto him just that he was able to make big, bold changes in his life that you know, he had a sense of dedication and some of those things I think are true, and some of them may or may not be true.

Right, Yeah, I know I get that piece.

I mean I dated an ex athlete who that transition when they're done playing.

I mean, it takes them.

It's hard for them to then rEFInd themselves because they just did the one thing they loved so much.

They were making great money.

It's like, how do you go from making great money and being this person everyone cheered for?

It really takes a hit on their life, and I know a lot of athletes that then go into depression from that.

But how they outwardly can deal with that at times is through not being a great guy.

Maybe with other women, that was my experience.

I know, I'm not going to put that on All the dudes are professional former athletes, but with him, you know, you're walking into this and obviously you're wanting to find love again because how many years have you been divorced?

Seven seven years?

Seven years now and you were married for how long?

Married?

Twenty five years?

Wow?

Yeah, what was the reason for the divorce?

I haven't really spoken openly about it, and I'm not sure that I will now.

Yeah, just it's out of respect for my kids and for you know, and for him.

I want all of us to go on and live a great life.

And I can say that especially now because I'm in a wonderful place and have overcome the challenge of what divorce can can be disruptive, and I've turned it, you know, I've made lemonade out of lemons for sure with it.

So I've just chosen to move on.

No, I think that's beautiful, though, I like I commend that there's many times when I've spoken too much about that.

Now.

There are things that I have not said to protect the kids, and then other things that you know, we've both publicly talked about so.

And there are some things that people can learn from our journeys.

And I just feel like the journey that I went with my divorce was something so common that I don't need to be the one who has the insight for it.

I think that that's part of it.

I think that some of the things I've heard you say are this is definitely unusual, and you can help some people through their situation by telling your story and telling not just your story about what happened, but telling your redemption part of it, how you walked through it and got to a better place.

Yeah, And I think people in my when I do speak about that, the hard part is is that people just go, oh, well, you met this great guy.

I said, no, But I was good before him.

That's the thing, Like I found peace before him.

And I think that's why I was, you know, able to find a good man because I was.

I was happy.

I didn't need I didn't need his love.

His love was just the kind of the cherry on top, you know, because I finally profound a place where I was able to love myself, because if not, I would have just gotten back into the same type of relationship with the same kind of man.

Yeah, it's super important to be able to stand on yourself on your two feet.

I've made mention of it in one of the episodes.

But the hard part is once you are able to stand on your two feet again, then transferring your weight and leaning into someone else ash that you just it's a it's scary again because you don't know if that's going to go away or you know, get kicked out from underneath you.

So how much of your weight do you transfer into a new relationship now that you know you're standing on your two feet again.

Well, yeah, and the chances of getting knocked back down again are are high.

But at the same time, I always look at it as you're going to learn something new each time and then the right one will we'll stay.

And that's you know, the beauty and all of it.

So it's like, what's what's the lesson?

And with this experience, what do you think your lesson was?

You know, within doing this Golden Bachelor.

A lesson I've been considering, like what are the things I've learned about myself?

I learned that I was still putting my kids between me and my relationships.

I definitely learned that and I did not recognize I was doing that.

I knew that I put my career between me and my relationships.

I knew that I would put other men between me and my relationships.

I did not recognize I could use my family and use my family to keep myself distant from a new relationship.

But lesson did I learn?

I think that I learned I still have a tendency to be over optimistic and to project good things onto people.

I'm not sure I want to change that.

I think one day someone's going to prove me right.

And so it's a lesson that I've learned, Like, just be cautious, but I want to remain optimistic through this.

Yeah, I mean, no one wants to get That's the thing too.

People will reach out and they're like, oh, I just I'm not going to put myself back out there, and it's like, don't, like, you don't want to be bitter in love either because that's not a or then you're letting the person that hurt you before kind of win and b it's like you're losing at the end of the day because there is love out there.

Again, it might not you might not find the love of your life.

Some people don't write they but that's also I think in their choice because they're not wanting to put themselves out there or do maybe some healing work to get to a place to be open to it or find the right person.

So it's all and definitely And in the in the show I walked out, It wasn't like Mel rejected me.

Well that's that was my next question.

So what was what was your reasoning for saying, you know what, this doesn't suit me.

He didn't serve me.

The vision that he had for a future was not enough.

Because he told you what, like what was his vision?

Because obviously he didn't propose to Peggy who just just gave her the the what's that called promise ring?

A promise ring?

And how are we in high school?

I don't know, but you know like.

That that alone.

That promise ring, it was from my high school sweetheart.

So I'm like, let's this is this is silly?

You are?

How old?

Like we're not doing promise rings?

Or is that is it?

Back?

I'm not doing promise rings?

Yeah, I could tell you that.

I'm like, so so what was it?

What did he say to you?

Like when you guys are having your your kind of last meeting before your your you're wanting and making this decision.

Did he say flat out I don't want to get married.

He was saying that he doesn't know, and that he wanted to wait two years because of his sons, that he wanted to get them, you know, kind of up and on their own.

And I get that, Yeah, but after two years, why would he need to be engaged, because at that point he could get married.

And it just doesn't make any It doesn't make any sense to me.

And I did ask him a question about the first time that he got married.

Why did he wait so long to be married the first time.

I don't know if it was a test or not.

I was just curious to hear if his response was because I hadn't met the right woman.

That's a different response than I just wasn't ready.

And I was just getting this sense that Mel hasn't done the work.

He's not ready.

I've done the work.

I think Mel and I had enough ingredients to kind of take it to the next level.

And obviously there's there's still a lot more to be discovered in a relationship, but you know, I just was the feeling that he's not ready and I've had way too many relationships in my life, and especially in the last seven years, where people just want to take your time and enjoy their time with you.

And that's great, and I I, you know, I go on trips and go to concerts and go do a lot of things with some of those people.

But in the end, that's not what I'm looking for.

I'm not looking for a promise ring.

I'm not looking for a boyfriend.

And I even said it in a finale.

If I wanted a boyfriend, I don't need to go on this show to have one.

Right.

It's so interesting too, because as we get older.

I mean I remember back in my twenties, there was this guy who, you know, he was an actor.

He just got divorced, but he liked me and we started dating.

And I felt like for years that I was just trying to be chosen by him because he's like, well, I don't know if I ever want to get married again, and I don't know if I'm like, well, but choose me, and I'm going to stay along, you know.

And I just I was back and forth with them for years and it was so hard.

And then I remember when I got divorced from my last husband, and I started, you know, he was in he was an athlete, an ex athlete who then was managing a team, and he's I started to feel that again where it was when it was only convenient for him and his timing, and I'm like, I start and so I kind of caught it on pretty early and was like, I know my tendency of wanting to be chosen that I have to just be like, you know what, this doesn't work for me because I he's like, well, I just don't want you to get too attached, and I like where we're at right now now, but I just don't really know.

You know, I've got detachment patterns and I just don't want you to attach.

And I go, then I'm out because that's not for me.

You know.

It's like this is I'm not just going to be your convenient person that you're going to call when when you're bored in the city.

You know, like, that's not that's not me anymore.

And I'm not going to wait around for you to choose me, because someone will choose me and I don't have to like prove this.

Thing go bingo.

Somebody's going to choose us.

Somebody will choose us, and there's no pick me to any of this.

I'll show you exactly who I am.

I will be vulnerable, I will be honest and genuine.

I will give you the time and dedication it takes for you to get to know me.

But I'm not asking for you to pick me.

Yes, I believe it's even biblical that a man knows when he meets his person.

Yep Adam says to Eve, you are bone of my bone.

Soas looks at Ruth and knows immediately.

And I think that some men, you know, there are people that are in denial.

Maybe he was in denial that you were the one, and maybe he's running from his you know, his attachment stylar, his previous hurts.

So you don't have to act on it immediately.

But I believe my guy is going to be immediately struck by who I am and will pursue me.

And I'm looking forward to looking forward to that.

Back to the divorce piece of things, because a lot of women will say, you know, how did you how did you get through the tough days?

What was and I have the ways that helped me, but what was one of the things for you that got you up, obviously your kids, but that helped you get to the other side of the healing.

I had a good friend tell me that you couldn't have gotten here without going through there m And she said it to me often enough that I finally etched it in my brain.

And on my hard days, you know, when I wish that I had the life that I used to have, I realized this is a life that I now can choose and it's not.

I still have hard days where I wish that I had that previous life.

Holidays in particular very hard.

Press.

Yeah, same, yeah, But I'm in.

A better place, and I just I just need to go back and continue to recognize that this is my path and that every step along the way has been you know, ordered in advance.

And I need to to recognize the doors and windows that have been opened in front of me, and acknowledge and appreciate the doors and windows that have closed behind me, and just keep your head down and your feet moving.

Yep.

Only way to get through it is to go through it.

Is so many people get stuck, you know, Like my therapist was saying about forty percent of people who lose a spouse or get divorced or you know, losing children.

I think is even higher.

But forty percent of people never return to a positive life, and I was determined to live big on the other side of what happened to me.

Yeah, no, absolutely, Okay, So when you were on the show and you're surrounded by obviously all these beautiful women, did you feel the camaraderie of everyone wanting again?

It's hard you're trying to date the same guy, right, So how was that like when in when you're older going through that, Because I see how the girls are in their twenties thirties on the show.

What was that like for you, ladies?

I think we still had some of those twenties and thirties moments where you know, you're trying to check out the competition, so to speak.

But I could speak for myself, I can't speak for all of them.

I found a group of women to be so engaging and so loving, and of course we're spending time with the same guy.

But they are incredible women on this cast, and I fell in love with almost each and every one of them.

And having that time in the mansion.

So we have nineteen women who move into the mansion and I live by myself, none of my kids live in town.

I've got lots of good friends and colleagues.

But you know, this is a cool experience to be in a house with eighteen other women.

We're cooking for each other, We're trying to share a bathroom, all five of us, trying to get ready and brush our teeth and shower, and I'm in a top in a room where the patio doors don't latch, and just sharing time with these women and knowing that they're all kind of in a similar situation.

Some had lost their husbands, some have been married a couple times, some are divorced a long time, Some were fresh.

So we all had kind of a different life experience.

But it was a privilege to be in this little sorority of the Golden Bachelor castmates.

Were you in Peggy clothes?

No?

Okay, so there's no friendship there?

Then post show either Noah?

No?

Got it?

Okay, Well, maybe two people end up those two people were meant to be together.

I don't know.

Well, I think this has ended up exactly the way it needed to end up, and I'm personally grateful that it ended up this way.

So I have a question for you, because I have a few friends who are divorced that are fifty sixty years old, and they some of them have given up the hope that they're going to find someone and that they then go to the place of And I felt this too, Like when I got divorced.

I was late thirties, and I mean I was like seven eight, and I thought to myself, I don't haven't it's done.

I'm I'm old, I've I don't have time.

I've I've wasted time, you know, And you know I've again.

I've got a very good friend that's almost fifty, another friend that's sixty, same thing where she's just feels like she wasted so much time with her last husband that there's no way she'll meet someone now.

So it's where do you mentally go with staying positive in that mind frame when you want when they want to be in a relationship.

Well, I think you have to back to our previous conversation.

I think I'm okay by myself and a man is going to be lucky to partner up with me.

I am a multiplier, and I think you know this one plus one equals to is just insane.

I am a multiplier and some man is going to be super lucky.

If you bring me a house, guess what I'm going to deliver you a home, bring me your children.

I will knit it together and make a new family.

You bring me finances, and I will make you feel wealthy.

And that's what a man is going to get in relationship with me.

He'd be really lucky to come alongside me.

If he doesn't, it's okay because I'm I'm living a pretty awesome life, full life with myself.

I would love to have a partner.

But if I don't, that's just, you know, just just my fate in life.

I'm okay both ways, and I think you really just have to get like you talked about earlier.

We have to get to a place where we're okay either way.

I know, so much easier said than done, though, because there were there were so many times in my bed I'm like, no one will love me, you know, and it's like it's like, well it feels lonely sometimes, you know.

But you also need to be prepared for that person in your life.

I'll tell you what I just did.

This.

You're going to think I'm very silly.

I have I live in this one bedroom Pondo, and I love it.

It's just a little jewel box to me, and it's not very big, so I use every square inch.

And I had these medicine cabinets put in on either side of my bathroom mirror, and I moved into one, and I kept the one on the other side open and available and just ready for I love it for my future man.

And guess what, I started to creep into that medicine cabinet and put my stuff and kind of spread out a little bit.

So this last week I moved things back out of that medicine cabinet and I made room in my life for a man.

And I think we just all should be mindful that I will be prepared and be my best for my man to meet me this afternoon or tomorrow or in ten years.

But I'm going to continue to work on being my best self for me, for my family, for life, and just making sure there's still room in my life for him.

I love that.

That's so sweet.

So when did the show wrap?

What month?

It was end of August, Because right from the show, I had to go to my daughter.

I had to I was privileged to go to my daughter's wedding, my second daughter's wedding in Italy.

So within days I went from the you know, all the mind worldling, walk off the doc, leave the guy, to you know, really taking a look at what a fully committed, loving relationship looks like.

And it was such a privilege to be there anyway, because I love these kids so much, but to really see what love looks like.

Yeah, and then to compare it to what Mel was offering, it was, it was, It was perfect.

It was so healing and so lovely to have that contrast.

Since the show, has anyone slid into the dms or like where are you meeting?

Where are you meeting guys?

Like who would you like to slide into the DM?

Like what.

Have you slid into someone's you know, because I'm now obviously people watching you.

You're beautiful, you know, you had a great energy, so I have to assume that there's men trying.

I've had some men slide into my DM since I've had some friends introduced me to men, and you know, just just gonna this is the holidays, So I'm kind of taking a big old pause with all of that, just so I could focus on, you know, recentering myself and being with my family, and but yeah, there's I'm definitely not hesitant to get back out there.

I'm not hesitant that my man is around the corner.

I hope he's watching this.

I hope he's listening to this and falls in love with me on this and calls immediately, And I think that he'll be bold enough to step forward the kind of man that I'm looking for.

Oh.

I love that she's ready to open her medicine cabinet, so I put your whatever you need in there.

That is funny.

Okay, so let's do a little rapid fire.

Oh okay, what advice would you give to our listeners who are getting back into the dating scene for the first time?

What advice would I give to people getting back into the dating scene?

Work on being the best self.

Being your best self will will attract the person that will meet your best self.

Always elevate level up all the time.

Do you think you should always give someone two dates to tell if there is chemistry?

No?

Agreed?

You know that first date?

Yeah, anytime I ever tried a second date, I'm like, why did I do this?

I knew the gut, the gut told me on the first one that it was a no.

And if forget's not sure, if your gut doesn't say no, then you could have a second date and still say no after the second date.

But sometimes it's just no, immediately agreed.

Do you think it's a good idea to FaceTime a date you've met online before the first.

Date depends on how much they're giving you in your exchanges, Like if you're not getting the full vibe, I definitely think it's better to hop on FaceTime.

But if you're kind of getting a genuine vibe and I don't anything online, mine's either referrals by friends or some of these dms, So I'll just consider it like a DM.

You just got to you know, got a sense how genuine.

They're being in their responses to you.

See, I am a FaceTime That is a was a rule, Like I have to FaceTime before because if I waste an hour away from the home or the kid, you know what I mean, Like, I will so angry at myself.

So and anytime my girlfriend who's divorced, she'll go she's like, huh, I should have listened to you.

I'm like, I tell you every time you got a FaceTime, because you will just know.

Well, I have a three step method.

Oh I heard this from a million dollar matchmaker, because she's like, oh, you're single, you're divorced, I'll put you in my stable.

And I'm like, no, no, no, I just being in.

Nay no, that was good.

So she said there's three steps that she uses to test compatibility.

The first interaction is a coffee date or a drink, and since I don't drink coffee, it's usually meet me for a drink twenty to forty minutes.

I don't care if I feel like I've met my soulmate twenty to forty minutes and we're cutting it off.

Second date is an activity, so we'll go to the farmer's market, we'll stand up powder board, we'll go for a hike, we'll you know, I'll ask you to.

Come move my couch.

If you were referred by a friend, I'll make something up, but it will be an activity.

And then the third date can be the dinner date, because you can waste a whole lot of time out there with people that you're not attracted to and you're not compatible with.

I like that.

So there's my three steps, and I tell all of my single friends to do it.

That way, it saves you so much time.

I'll also tell you what happens on that first date.

If you're really vibing with them, something happens where you just forget the details.

So they could tell you about their children, their names, how old they are, where they.

Go to school, where they live.

That all those details somehow go in one ear and out the other, and so you just don't really pay attention to them.

Where I find if you have it on a second or third date, you're more able to I'm more able at least to retain that information.

Yeah, no, that makes sense.

Is it ever okay to split the bill on a first date?

No, one hundred percent.

No.

It happened to me one time we went to the it was in Los Angeles, it was the it was called the Garlic Rose.

And he put his card down.

He's like, okay, He's like, we'll split it.

You put the car down to first and only day.

I'm like, no, that is I know.

And I love getting the bill.

That's the thing.

I love to get a bill.

And that's something that I know that I had to stop because I would try sometimes to get it on the first date, and I'd learned once I got older, I'm like, no, they can.

Pay, and they could pay.

I'm a traditional woman.

That's what I expect.

It's not like I won't contribute financially.

And by the way, I get access to some stuff because of where I live, how long I've lived here, that you'll get to taggle on with me for some fun stuff that you know you're not really paying for.

But definitely don't split the chat ladies.

Best tip for flirting or catching a man's attention the eyes.

Give him the eyes, the eyes, and then the look down and then look back up and the look.

I think that there's an art to flirting, but it all is wrapped up to me in a very intricate dance between masculine and feminine.

And so if you find a man who enjoys being in their masculine it's easy to flirt with them for me, because it is about showing great appreciation, great interest and just I don't I'm not sure I have a step one, step two, step three, But I did try to coach a couple of women on the show about flirting, and Robin talks about it on the show, and it's not necessarily flirting, it's for just try to help the women get out of their masculine right.

I run my own life.

I've been independent for seven years.

I don't necessarily need a man.

And being feminine, I think, can be confused very often with being weak and giving up your power.

I feel like gain power by being feminine, and I feel like I draw out the best in a man and help him be masculine.

So there's a lot to it.

This could be a whole segment.

There's some really good books about that too, about female masculine and female and you know, being feminine male's masculinity because it's like you don't want guys don't want a masculine Most guys don't want a masculine women.

But we feel that sometimes we have to since single parents, divorced, that we have this really protective barrier around us that sometimes will come out masculine and it's like that's not going to be the attraction to the other guy.

We do feel more power once that is shed, So.

Yeah, absolutely, and a man inherently over time and it gets worse, you're still a youngster men over time stop thinking and that's just a feminine it's more of a feminine trait and so they tend to stop thinking.

And women, because we can do it all just like men can do it all, we allow it.

So when I remember.

Many times talking to a man and saying, you know, at this time, I don't feel the need to yield my independence to you.

What do you think about that?

And just the second half of that conversation, what do you think about that?

And I ask men to think, and somebody wants to see me.

I'm like, well, I live here, you live there?

How does that look?

What do you think about that?

And I make them figure it out because I could do logistics all day, but I like having a man think and that allows me to feel and not that I can't do it.

Will probably get some haters on this.

In the oh it's so true though, but it's true.

I think men men tend to lose their curiosity as they age, and they they stop thinking because other people think on their behalf.

Yeah, I like that.

Should you kiss on a first date?

Maybe I did.

I did with my husband.

So he kissed me.

We were sitting on a couch and he just went right in and I was like, whoa.

He did it a lot faster than I would have, but he kept saying it was because you know, we had been facetiming so much and he was overseas, so it was like that.

Ant spees the moment.

But back to the you know, Adam recognizing Eve right away.

I think sometimes if a man knows and he's healed and he's ready and you're feeling it, nothing wrong with it, no shame.

I think I don't want a roommate.

I want I want to have a sexual chemistry with someone.

Is it a red flag if you start dating someone who is separated but their divorce isn't final?

Yes, what's a subtle red flag people tend to overlook when getting back into dating after divorce.

Being divorce does not mean that they're available, or that they're healed, or that they're ready.

What was Mel's biggest red flag?

I don't know that Mel has a red flag.

In general, nobody has a red flag.

I think that he Okay, I'll tell you what I believe his red flag is.

I think that he likes to observe and doesn't like to participate.

Maybe even that he likes to observe and he's not even aware that he's not participating.

That makes sense.

So like for example, I love going on trips.

I want to go skiing, I want to go to the beach, and I want to go with somebody who will do things with me and not just watch me have fun.

That means I think that that was kind of a point of we were not compatible with that.

If someone is a bad kiss or, does that mean they'll likely be bad in bed?

Listen, I'll just answer that they're a bad kisser, they ain't getten in bed.

I gotta have a good GISs there.

No, but I will.

I have had kissers who were not as good, and some men are trainable.

Really because I had one that was a very bad kisser and I gave them a couple shots and it's still I was like, I can't do it.

I love to kiss, and if you're not a good kisser, I just can't.

Absolutely, if you go two or three times and you can't get any change.

Yeah, but I'm not going to throw them out right away.

I think that you know, if you've been kissing someone else, you've been kissing that person in the way that the two of you kiss best.

Sure, so now that you have someone new, you might need some different techniques.

So give them a chance.

All right, this is a producer question.

How would you rate Mel's kissing skills?

She's like as much as the red fluff.

Oh oh, teachable, So that's teacher, great, that's funny.

What's one thing men fifty plus need to lighten up on when it comes to dating?

Same question for women?

Men over fifty need to lighten up on age.

So I think they hyper focus on age.

How many profiles did I see over the years, and that my friends are still seeing.

I'm younger than I look, I'm younger than my age, I act younger.

It's like, get over it, Like sixty today is not what sixty used to be.

Everyone is acts younger and is younger.

So that's when age.

And then for women.

They need to get over the quick commitment, like gosh, I've had a lot of women recently, like in the last couple of weeks be like swipe left on that one.

I'm like, wait, wait, wait why, Well.

Just like just any any inkling of a red flag or something that's not exactly right, they're passing on.

And I think that at our age, I don't know, it's not beggars can't be choosers, but we could all grow and change and we should be more flexible with other people's situations and pack.

Everyone deserves a shot.

We all have a past, and there is no there's no there's no night and shining armor, and there's no perfect woman.

You know.

That's where it's.

When I was in the dating, I'm like, I can't judge someone on their past.

I have to judge them, not judge them.

But I need to observe them in their present because I have a messed up past.

I've made multiple mistakes.

Look at our new bouchelorette.

If somebody judged her on her past, why do we even have on a show.

But I think it's such a beautiful arc to say her past is going to get her to her future.

And I recently a friend of mine passed on a guy who's never been married, no kids, and I'm like, that's that's not fair.

Look at Debbie from my show, never been married, no kids, she'd be a lovely partner.

My brother has no children, married twice, no kids, no red flag.

There could be a fabulous stepfather.

So I think people are just kind of too judgmental.

And we have just a certain list of things that we want and we're not going to vary outside of it.

That's why I really do think meeting in the wild is far better for me because I don't sometimes always know by divorce, no kids, you know data on someone where you might pick that up in an app for sure.

Oh well, Cindy, I've got my radar out for you, and if anyone's listening, please slide on into Cindy's DM.

Thank you Cindy for opening up about your journey in chapter two, and we know you are going to find love again, and I am super excited for you, and I'm already thinking, I'm like, Okay, I have this one guy friend that I think would just love you, So maybe I'll be sliding in being like, hey, you do meet.

Come on over, come on over the water.

The water's warm, and I'm ready to find love again.

I believe it's out there for all of us in different forms, so I can't wait to see what both of our next chapters yield.

You're so sweet.

Thank you, Cindy.

Are you like Cindy and ready to find love in your chapter two?

Call us or email us.

All the info is in the show notes and we are here to help follow us on socials.

Make sure to rate and review the podcast I Do Part two and iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.

P