Hi guys, welcome back to I Do Part two.

It's your celebrity mentor Jenfessler, and I am sure you, like me, have been hooked on the Golden Bachelor and Golden Bachelorette, amazing people looking for love, and this time on Bachelor and Paradise they also brought the Goldens.

I'm excited because she was well liked on Paradise even though she wasn't there for long.

But she's still out there dating and we're going to get into it all.

Welcome April Kirkwood.

Thank you.

Yeah.

I love doing the Paradise Show because I got to really be myself.

The first time I was on a Bachelor, I had just lost somebody, Ralph right about him, so I wasn't quite in my gig, and I had never watched the show.

I really came in kind of.

Blindsided due to my own choosing of really not studying about it.

So then I took a couple of years off, grew into myself and healed, and now you get to see all those many facets of me, the inner.

Child, the spitfire, the spiritual one.

Well, yeah, I mean definitely, there's definitely was a shift from watching the Bachelor to Bachelor in Paradise.

But can we start out because it's really really interesting.

I think it could be really insightful for our listeners talking a little bit about your history in terms of relationships.

I think a lot of listeners who have watched the show know that you've been through it a bit, especially you lost I want to say, you lost your partner over two years of twenty one years, over two years ago, right, right, and you were married before that.

No, it's four years ago now, Okay, So in the first two years I was numb.

In fact, I didn't know what to do.

And I'll I know this is a.

Crazy story, but I learned from that experience there is no death, and I was not going to get any We weren't legally married.

I wasn't going to get any legal financial help.

Well, lo and behold.

I swear to God, may the gods come down, just to show you what love does.

So I have a psychic friend from Jersey.

She calls me and she said, do you live in front of big glass lighting doors?

YadA YadA.

I go, yeah, She goes, does Ralph.

Wear black all the time?

I go, yet, but he's standing outside the door.

Is that what you mean when you say no death.

Yeah, and I say here, I.

Said, She goes, I don't like him.

I don't like the way he treated you.

Blah blah blah.

I go no, let him in, let him in.

And you know, this was like two weeks after he had passed, and so he said, I was at the funeral.

I didn't like this, and this is the way certain people treated you.

I've tried to talk to the attorneys.

It's not I can't get to anybody, but I can tell you.

Where the will is.

Wait.

I'm sorry, April.

I I just make me understand.

This was you said.

This is your husband, right, but we weren't legally married.

I'm sorry, your partner.

But coming back after death to talk.

To you, he was talking through this psychic and he goes.

He calls me Presh, So I knew it was him.

Did you have that tattooed on you somewhere?

Yeah?

I read that.

Yeah, so adorable.

I love it, Presh, and so.

I you know, and I was mad at him because he really didn't do me well.

So I said, broke, I'm telling him if you were lying to me again, and he says, no, it's in something white.

I said no.

The Ohio houses wife, he goes no, and.

The lady is saying, I think he means like an like a wine cooler or a wine you know, refrigerator.

I go, no, that's dark.

Anyhow, make a long story short.

I'm like every woman.

I'm laying in bed.

All of a.

Sudden, at three o'clock, I get up.

I go out in the garage.

His file cabinet is there next to our white freezer.

I pull out everything, get out.

I find all kinds of nice things, and I also find the will.

No way, but it's not been changed.

And he was madly loved with me.

He has Louis bodies.

That's how he passed.

Yeah, and so so hard.

That makes people angry mad.

You know, I took his car away from him.

He thought I deserted him.

So he had a lot of stuff going on mentally, and you.

Had and you yeah, I have some relatives that are going through that right now.

Not easy.

But yeah, you were married before that.

You have two kids, right, you're maried right right twice before from when I remember right, yes, yeah, you belong to my family, not not me yet.

No, I'm not proud of it.

But what I will.

Why not?

Why not?

I think you should be proud of it.

I have no regrets.

Each man brought me so much.

Yes they were a pain in the butt.

Yes I was.

They always are.

Yes I wasn't evolved the way I am now.

But each person opened doors to me that I have cherished.

And really love never dies.

People say, oh, I still love them, and I still love them.

And you know, if they all lined up right here, even Billy, the one with the children, he'll come to Dana in dreams.

My daughter sees them, I don't, and she'll say, Billy, You'll say, I'm worried about your mother, you know, Oh my gosh, and you know her aunt, my aunt and uncle hooy love, they're gonna die soon.

I don't know what she's gonna do.

You better take and listen to her.

She knows what she's talking about.

Because I'm kind of woo woo, you know, and I'm into all of this stuff as well as a therapist.

I kind of bring the soul aspect into it.

Tell I know I can feel that, but you I, I don't know.

It strikes me that you would say that you're not proud because it's also a brave thing to keep, especially now right to have lost someone, divorce someone, No, but not only bounced back.

But I don't know.

I mean, I'm watching.

I'm a viewer just like everyone.

I feel like you're thriving.

What I did by accident.

So I called one of my You're gonna laugh about this.

So I called one of my friends.

I said, let's clean the house in Florida because I just moved to New York.

Okay, So anyhow, she does this clean blah blah blah.

She calls me later, it's all cleansed.

So wait a minute.

I get the other psychic from Jersey.

She's doing my cars.

Since I moved here, I only do it once.

It sounds like I do it a lot, but I go.

So she goes, Oh my god, Ralph is bound.

He's screaming.

He can't get out of Florida.

I bound him.

Oh no, how could you.

No one should be bound in Florida.

Although I guess if you're gonna get bound, it's a good place to be.

Well, he can't get out of the house.

I feel sorry for the new owners.

So so it never stops.

Yeah, but listen, I mean, I have to think it's fabulous and I hope, like I'm on my first marriage, but still at age fifty seven, I want to think that if something God forbid a million times were to happen, I would keep looking for love.

And I just think it's inspirational to see you do that.

And I want to get to some of the specifics of the show because no, no, please, I just so I know that our listeners are going to want to hear a lot about the specifics.

For instance, the young man.

I know you've probably spoken about this ad nauseum, Jonathan, who you gave your rose to, So would you just tell us a little bit about what you were thinking in that moment.

I, personally watching it, thought it was such a kind and generous move to make, and I really appreciated it.

I don't know if everyone did, but I did.

I thought that was just a fabulous, classy move to make.

But tell me, maybe your your thoughts and if you had any regrets about it.

I'm a little bit like Kathy.

We kind of have no filter and we.

Go by this love Kathy.

Yeah, she's hilarious.

So I'm standing there, I'm looking at these guys.

I don't like any of them, and I'm looking at his face like I would my sons.

And I thought, and I was a guidance.

Counselor and a dean of schools for a long time, and I thought, what so I'm a I help kids.

So I said, what can I do to help this boy?

There's nothing here for me.

I'm going to give it to him.

What a beautiful thing to do.

And I did it in your Bravo, you know, they cut so much.

And then he and I started to pray for him on the set, and I think everybody was just like and he started to cry.

And after when there was a moment you know in privacy that I'm sure it was filmed, but he said, I was more affected by what you said than what you did.

And if I had to tell you what I said, I don't even remember, because I remember.

You said something to the effect of I want to give you the chance that others may not have given you yet, or something like that.

Then I went home and I thought, why did I like him so much?

What did I see in him?

He did dress and look like Ralph.

Ah, so my attention had he been.

So Ralph must have been handsome, because I thought Jonathan Jonathan was very handsome.

And Jonathan's a player, and Yelp was a player.

Yeah, I could identify.

But underneath the players, they're really.

Insecure, right, they always are right right.

The ones who are the worst, the narcissists and all of that kind of agenda, they really have such low self esteem, like they're afraid to attach.

They're afraid I need you.

Don't leave me.

If you stay, you might hurt me if you fall, be lonely.

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Do you feel like you felt that coming out of Jonathan?

I felt something in him.

He didn't really divulge because it was all supposed to be fun.

And then I think he got a little afraid of me.

I don't know, but why, please don't tell me that that was what I've Actually I felt like, I don't know when all those kids sort of looked at each other like, oh my god.

I mean, it was so clear to me, and I feel like anybody with the brain would see that you were being so loving and motherly.

Right.

I felt like he was like my son, or I felt like he was like Ralph that was dead.

But if one had to do it again, I'd say come back.

I mean to me that right, So, I mean, I think maybe they were just being silly, but I did see a lot of like, oh, like you know, there is a lot of people out rage.

Well when they're young.

Well, because for many people, this is all about a lot of not all this is a lot about the game, and staying in my life has never been a game.

I don't take my life lightly.

I don't take my soul lightly.

My I'm very selfish with my soul.

I'm very selfish.

I don't even want to get close to somebody kissing and hugging who I have.

Low frequency or low energy.

I I know no money in the world is worth my soul.

Amen, And my best friend is my soul.

Who am I taking?

I have a few best friends for my soul.

But I mean, you're talking about so which I love that You're not unless you feel it in your soul, you're not gonna be interested in getting.

But tell us a little bit about your dating life.

Tell us about because I've seen a couple of fabulous videos of use talking about that.

One was hilarious.

So he went on, you went on a date with the man and you put on your heels and you get out and he's in his hiking boots.

He said, he said he wanted to go for a walk and a drink.

And he gets out and he meant like some hike And it still.

Made me walk.

I had blisters and I have this right undressed on And then another guy.

I didn't tell you.

Guys this one yet.

So we do a face thing and he's wealthy.

He lives on Long Island and he lives in Connecticut.

It so I'm telling him about myself.

It went good so that I didn't have a date with him that weekend.

I didn't want him to feel like I was out dating.

So I send him a picture of my grandchildren at the American Doll place in the city.

And I and one was with me with Barbie.

I go, I love Barbie.

He goes, why don't you just come up here and be my personal Barbie.

I was like, ew ew, cringe ew what did the kids say?

It gives me?

I was like, oh, no, you know.

And so how do I meet these guys?

How are you like actually finding them?

I am on a dating app and it's.

Called bumble My allowed to bumble?

Okay?

Yeah, So anyhow I.

Met this one guy and I am dating him, and he touched my heart more than anyone in my whole life.

So I send him a picture of my granddaughter and I or something because.

I, once again I couldn't go out.

I was busy.

And he says about the little one, and this is true, you and her are star seeds.

You're not from here, are you?

That sounds like keep you right up your alley.

He was.

And then and then it gets better.

I said, you know, I need a new plastic surgeon here for you know, kind of little things that I get done.

And he said, oh, I have the best one.

Let me text you, and I was like, And then we went out to dinner at Piremont.

I think it's what it's called.

I'm just learning all this stuff.

And I swear to God, we're sitting there.

Wait, we're at the table outside and these couple come on.

They go, You're the most beautiful husband and wife ever.

And I looked at each other and I thought that was weird.

And then we go for coffee and another couple come and go.

God, you make a beautiful couple.

Listen.

I'm sure.

I am sure, though if I'm a betting girl that you get that a lot.

I mean, I wonder actually sometimes about you, because you're you are so beautiful.

If that ever does even get in the way if men objectify you a little bit or see you and think one thing, and that is.

The problem with me.

I am a dichotomy.

But that's also a gift.

So if I get a bad boy that thinks I'm just going to be eye candy, and then I touch his heart, then then it makes it better.

Or if I get somebody who well usually they are about the looks.

I hate to say that.

I mean, I listen, I agree.

I think I think that is the first thing with men.

I don't think it's the only thing, but I think that's which would make well, which would work for you, my friends, I would think that would draw them in pretty easily.

What are your parameters though, when you're looking at them, Like, if you're on one of these dating apps, do you have age range?

Do you have a physical type?

Nothing?

Now, if I could go back to be with Frankie Valley, would you know, I had to say.

No, I was gonna let you bring that up.

If I could go back right if I could go right now to his house and he's ninety something and he's frail and he's not healthy, I would willing He has a wife and all that she doesn't like me very much, but I would willingly help him die and walk away with nothing.

Wait what say that?

I'm sorry, excuse me?

Say what what did you just say?

If I had getting good April.

He has a wife, so this will never happen.

I understand.

If I got a call right now and they said, mister Valley's saying your name and and and can you get here?

I would fly there.

I don't even wouldn't even take clothes.

Probably, I would get there so fast, and I would willingly do whatever it took.

To help him pass.

And if I had time, I would bring in a lot of spiritual things.

You mean do I just want to clarify this first of all, because for those of you who are listening who don't know what we're talking about, if you read April's book, you would know.

But April had a pretty long term relationship, thank youll.

I think it started in maybe a darker way.

I don't know.

I remember, I don't know what he was thinking.

It's his seventies too.

People didn't cart it.

There were no computers, you were very young, right fact, there were no Google apps or anything.

Well they had it.

Sounds like you had a very passionate relationship.

But you're saying that even today.

I know that his wife, from what I remember, was only a couple of years older than you, and you were very young when you guys were dating them, and so.

He and I don't think he loves me at all compared to how I love him.

I mean I started to love him at six seven years old.

You feel like he was like, well, you've had great loves, but he was one of the great loves of your life.

I guess yes.

And I would help him do everything.

If I was with him.

There would be soft music, there would be frequencies, there would be beds that that that that changed the chemistry of your body.

I would have people because he is.

So when you say help him die, you're not talking about assisted help.

Like, oh no, I mean I would help him on his No, no, no, you're not gonna I don't think he's gonna get better.

Let's put it that way.

I think in the last stages of his of.

His journey here, and I would be honored to persevere with whatever that brought me.

It's pretty amazing.

Do you feel like and you feel that way because you said you have love for all of all of the men you've been in love with.

Really, to a certain extent, I'm just there.

It's probably almost impossible.

But in terms of like who was the one that you think, oh, God, I don't know.

I really love they all like Billy brought me my children.

And when he was dying he wanted We were not together at the time, and he said, can I come home?

And I said, yes, you can come home and show I never got over you.

I said, I know, I go find me next lifetime and we'll get it together.

Oh that's a nice thing to say.

When he passed, his family did a whole funeral up north for me and my family.

So, and you know, love is just might grow upon it.

I get better.

What do you feel like you've learned, even, let's say, from the Frankie Valley relationship, what can.

You I learned well since that time.

I have always believed in past lives.

I think Frankie Valley and I've known each other for many lifetimes.

In fact, that one person did a regression on me and said he was a big shot in Egypt and he had, you know, a harem of women, but you were the private girl that he never let anyone else have.

So I can imagine me as a twelve year old growing up thinking that I will always adore him, I will always listen to him, I will always beckon his call.

I will always be at his at his service, and that's.

How I do you feel like you?

Because obviously you're going to meet someone again, and I'm if I'm again a betting girl and betting you're going to have another great love.

Do you think you'd want to get married again?

I don't know.

Yeah, I would love to get married.

I believe in marriage, and I think it's a commitment that I really don't need that commitment because if I love you, but I would like them to be that committed.

And you know what I mean, the commitment on my part because I think women are committed.

It's so interesting because a lot of times my friends and I have a lot of single friends.

And I'm fifty seven, but we literally last night, I was out to dinner and talking about if something happened, if I found myself singly again, what I want to get married or would my friends want to It's different when you're older.

You don't feel that that pressure.

I like being by myself.

No death.

There's so many people in this room right now?

Yeah, yeah, really, hello hello everyone.

All of a sudden, dogs start barking, things start happening.

I'm like, oh, oh my god, Well listen I want to get your best advice for our listeners about dating again, opening up looking for love the second because that's our show, right, that's what we do.

I do Part two.

But you've been through it, so if you could give just a just to give me a quick statement in terms of what you could how you could help our listeners find love.

Okay, First of all, you have to know you have done nothing wrong.

The worst case scenario still led you to a deeper sense of self.

Do your work.

You cannot give to another what you don't have within yourself.

When you are healed and love yourself and most of your issues, whether we like it or not, come from.

Mom and dad in early childhood.

It's not someone triggering you.

It's when you get upset, and it happens to all of us.

It's just the.

Calling of your soul saying there's more healing to do, honey, Open yourself up to healing yourself, raise your frequency, and you will attract what you are.

If you don't like what you're attracting, then change what you're sending.

That's I love and only love to everybody.

Okay, that's I think that that is I think that's fabulous.

I hope you guys, because it's April has Obviously you're a very spiritual woman, so I have to sort of I just almost want to dumb it down for myself a little bit as you're speaking.

But I'm trying to hang on to like these kernels of like if you see something that you cannot.

On yourself, you cannot give to another what you don't have yourself.

That's it.

Okay, I can take that.

Tell me about now, we're just gonna we're gonna unfortunately, we're gonna have to wrap it up, but we cannot.

I cannot let you go with talking about the new season of the Bachelor.

I'm hoping that it works out.

I'm hold, what do you think?

What do you think?

What do you think of Mel?

What do you are you going to be watching?

You know, I haven't.

I haven't watched yet, to be honest, I've been busy.

I'm writing a book and I'm doing all this other stuff.

And I think that.

Mel has a lot to show himself from the bad press he's gotten.

And I do think it's a cultural issue.

I'm not going to run around this that men do who are successful and have enough money, like eye Candy shame on them.

If you can't see my soul or you can't see who I am, I wouldn't.

Want that that kind of person.

I love that well.

Would you consider doing another season?

I would love to do it.

Would you want to be the Golden Bachelorette?

I would love to do that.

But see, I would have fun with the guys.

I would tease them, I would turn them around.

I can't imagine they're not going to ask you.

I think that that would be Oh my god.

Who wouldn't want to watch that?

Heaven?

And I would ask them questions, what do you see when you see me?

What do I see when I see you?

You know?

And also I believe girls in the two minute hug.

When you go in to hug a man, sit there, let your hearts connect.

When you're married, when they come home, don't just go bye, I'm off to the gym.

Take two minutes.

Let your heart, let your.

Energy, let your frequency connect.

If you haven't connected all day, that will make or break a relationship.

I love that advice.

I don't remember the last time I gave my husband a two minute hug.

Maybe that's what you say is a long time.

Two seconds is a long time.

We're busy.

Yeah it is.

I mean, I'm all about hugging.

And also if they can't go slow and respect you and respect your pace, let it go.

It wasn't meant for you.

There's something else.

I tell my my daughter specifically that all the time.

Of course, no rush, no pressure, and no rush.

Right, all right, well, listen, this is so this is so great.

I love you.

You're a doll.

By the way, Leslie and Teresa, we have mutual friends.

There are friends of mine, and they told me the most delightful things about you, how wonderful you are and warm and spiritual.

I will do anything for those girls.

They're the best.

I love them.

Leslie's a lot like me.

We've had a lot of issues and relationships.

Yeah, I I am.

They're a sugar, Naisa.

I hope you're not not the only people listening who knows.

I know exactly what that means.

You're a doll.

I would love to have you back sometime.

I wish you all the best.

And you as well.

Oh, thank you your husband.

I well, two minutes you said two home minutes, right, okay, I'll put the timer on.

Fine, Thank you, April, Thank you so much.

God bless you, Please be well.

Bye.

So are you ready to date?

Like April?

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I Do Part two, an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective