The stress.

Then, during the third millennia, in a strange place known.

As the United States of America, of war was brewing.

Brainwashed Marxist idiots in colleges across the nation clashed with equally brainwashed anime obsessed neo Nazis.

Starbucks windows were shattered and Dodge Challengers were totaled, and Muslims realized that rental bands were cheaper than plane tickets.

Skinny anemn millennials from coast to coast were hospitalized with life changing injuries such as springs and first degree burns, and the herodic Knights of four Chan rose up to defeat Shy of Golf and drive the evil villain into a descent towards a madness the likes from which he would never recover.

As the enemies of Freedom destroy the cities that raise them, as America begins to resemble an Iron Maiden album come to life, two heroes have risen up to fight against the culture of utter madness and restore sanity the only way they know how what the fuck by refusing to take any of it seriously?

Mersh, What is up with Darren?

What with him?

People say, I got a real twist and sense of humor.

He looks like he should be on the back of a ten dollars pit.

Oh my god, Roy Lopez.

I don't know what it is about him.

I'm a groat.

Maybe I'm sick of hearing about him.

Yeah, I don't like hot amp.

Maybe it's his face.

He's a punchable face.

And wouldn't download a pig, which said nothing to me.

He's probably a nice guy.

Okay, I don't know what it is about the guy.

Big Cranberry has been lying to you found.

Forever by their mutual love of smoking marijuana, Simpson's references and affection towards Alex Jones.

These two men have joined forces to bring you uncut news and opinions directly from the belly of the beasts.

He looks like he should be flying a kite with a fucking key on it.

Brendan says he hasn't been able to use the N word for a while.

That's the source of his youth, saving Western civilization one childish dick joke at a time.

Here they are your new heroes of the Imperium merge and.

Voice, Hello, Hi, and welcome aboard.

It's it's Thursday, guys, which means it's revenge of the Cists, which means that even poor people are allowed in today, much to my chagrin.

Who's a sick HOMEO?

Now all of us, Yeah, we all got sick.

It's really sad, all of us.

Yeah, yeah, we all got sick.

It's fun, but we're doing good besides that.

You know, nice, I don't.

Think it's it's not like terribly bad, but I'm sick.

No, no, it's it's just a nagging.

It's just an I would call it an annoying sickness, not like I'm going to die.

But one of those.

Were like, ugh, there's a lot.

Obama.

I blame him too, I mean, a black president.

What were we thinking?

What were we thinking?

Tennis side circus?

Only we could go back in time Tenni.

Side circus, too fast, too furious, wrong show.

I'll take the money, though, I.

Want to get a time machine, go back to when we elected Obama and just sell everybody on.

Come on, guys, black guy, Come on.

Man, what do we think?

What are we thinking here?

Guys?

Guys, I hear you, but it's also come on, black guy, We've been for real here.

What would George Washington think that's like like.

George Washington think, wait, wait, whoa a black guy?

Yeah, that's like George wat telling George Washington to make a tractor of the president.

You know, I mean to him, that's what it would be like.

I'm not saying that.

George Washington not say that, you know.

And he was the first president.

And I'm not going to talk down about George Washington.

No, He's one of the founding fathers for christ.

He had a hemp pop farm.

So he smoked weed too.

Cool dude, Well that's cool.

Isn't that cool?

Did he smoked weed?

And honestly, I love it, like you know, George Washington smoked weed.

Yeah, there was heroin in cough medicine.

I mean they were all on drugs.

Oh god, man, would I wouldn't give to have loud in them.

I'm not even kidding you, bro.

That was basically just heroine in alcohol.

Can I tell you that?

You say, Can I?

Can I say that you let's go?

Can I say that you're saying that is the exact reason you can't have it?

Yeah, just so you know that's why you can't have it.

Then I would be like that bitch from Deadwood.

Bro, I'd be on that ship every day.

Yeah, it was heroin and alcohol, come on, you know.

Basically I saw I saw the first season of a show called The Nick, which was about like one of the first hospitals in New York.

It was like old timey medicine, but like the doctor, the doctor, it was fucking brutal.

But the doctor was just addicted to cocaine.

And when he was fucking a girl, he would just like rubbed cocaine or a pussy and like fuck, it was fucking wild.

Like operate on like fucking laudanum and like.

Yeah, yeah he was.

He was on lithium, just cutting people open.

Awesome, Hell yeah, that's the life.

Yeah, but his hand was steady.

Uh whatever you want.

Uh, so merged.

I don't know if you know this, but crime is a problem in Philadelphia.

I know you're shot.

I know.

I was the city of brotherly love.

There's a lot of brothers, all right, the love they're working on.

So but Kensington Avenue is still okay though, right, well, okay, nah, as long as Kensington, as long as Kensington Avenue hasn't fallen.

Remember when we were in Philadelphia and I got off on the wrong exit and the entire town was just one huge pothole.

Yeah, the entire town was really was.

It was like it was just a crater.

It was like Megaton after you blow it up.

That's what it was.

I took with the one exit off before the stadium, and I was like, where the fuck are we?

This is America.

It looked like Iraq.

It was crazy.

Philly used to be nice.

It's kind of crazy.

So the rapes have increased, rapes, mapes, Well, don't worry about it because they've solved it.

And a free self defense class is helping women in Philadelphia learn how to protect themselves.

Jamie Miller is a former MMA fighter and taught the class.

Its focus was on awareness, assert of behavior, and trusting your instincts.

City Council President Kenyatta Johnson set up the workshop after multiple reports of sexual assault.

And Okay, here's the thing.

Okay, ladies, I'm gonna help you out here.

First off, get a gun.

So we just get a gun.

Start with get a gun, obviously, but also here's the.

Thing, ladies, right, like, I understand you on a waw yeah right, and that's called great and all right, But if I'm in a dark alley at night.

Right, let's say and like, let's say Sean Strickland decides that he just wants to kick Mercia's ass.

Right, guess what if I have a gun.

Sean Strickland isn't fucking touching me.

That's why you want to get a gun.

That's why you want to get a gun, because not even an UFC fighter is touching me.

If I have a firearm, ladies.

Yeah, screaming that's my purse.

I don't know you isn't gonna work.

Yeah, I'm gonna be like it's always sunny where it's like yeah, what if I dodge and you're like click click click click.

Like see it's not it doesn't work.

Yeah.

And here's the thing ladies, I hate.

I know.

I understand that you listen, it's not one hundred percent your fault because I know movies have been lying to you for many years that karate women can beat up guys.

Oh here's the thing.

The average guy can beat up most MMA trained women.

Just so you understand, that's the level of what you're at, the handicap you have.

Now.

Look, I am not saying that there's a badass mema women that couldn't be ve some fat retard.

Of course there is, but I'm talking on average, right.

A normal shaped dude is going to be able to beat up a karate woman champion.

I mean, just the way it is.

If you like bone density.

Yeah, like Matt wait, Matts, you crack a woman in the face, it's a different kind of punch.

It's just it's sorry, it's not the same kind of punch.

Yeah, that's the Bond's right, dude, I could beat up any woman.

Look, that's all we're saying.

Listen, I'm just saying, even if you know all your little jiu jitsu and stuff, right, if you get hit in the face, yeah, by a man, it's gonna hurt.

It's gonna change the game.

Ladies taking for me, I've been hit in the face by men.

Getting hit in the nose, it will rock.

No, it resets your brain, like it really does.

People use the term read.

You get hit in the right place, your brain's reset for a quick second and it is it.

And then once you've been here's the thing you could well, you know, people say it and it becomes old whatever, but it's like, but it's true.

As a guy, you could go, oh, that guy's never been punched, and you could just say that, not because you think you're some sort of badass, because you've been punched.

I wish I was never punched because it sucks.

But once you've been punched, you never want to feel that again.

It sucked.

I got I got cracked in the tempo one time in my early twenties, and I mean it was a solid week of just like he like it was just like, oh, like headaches for like a week straight.

It's not fun I was doing when I was doing the MMA training thing, I was doing this moy Ice stand up thing with the coach, but the coach was like, there, three hundred and ten pound bucking humok is like actual REMI fighter.

Anyway, we weren't really like trying to beat each other's ass, but unfortunately, you know, sometimes when you're sparring, you might fuck up.

He fucking kicked me right in my eye.

Okay.

I remember blacking out for at least a minute, like I definitely had a concussion and my eye was just swollen shut, and like, wow, that really sucks.

I never want that to happen again.

I don't even want to do this as a training thing.

Anymore.

No, he got kicked in the eye.

This is terrible time out.

So I'm just just saying, like, women, this this self defense thing, I think is the bit And it's not because everyone wants to be like, oh, you guys are just fucking saw.

Yeah I am.

But but outside of that, there's also objective reality.

You're not gonna win these fights again in Florida.

You know what the people listen.

I might be a misogynist, but you still have girl bones.

Yeah, and you know the cool thing about Florida is a lot of girls carry in their purse, so you know, I mean you again in Florida.

Look, I say this in the same reason why break a breaking and entering in Florida is not as high as other places that have lax gun laws and stuff like that is because it's not so much the videos that you see of a homeowner like shooting a thief does help, but it's also if you're a thief, you're gonna go, oh shit, I saw that video that guy getting shot.

I'm not gonna break it in this house.

That guy probably has a gun.

Where if you're in a place where there's no fucking gun laws and everyone's afraid of him.

You going you take whatever the fuck you want.

You know.

So, I mean, look, Philly, I gotta tell you, man, give these bitches some guns.

That's all you got left.

I don't know what else to tell you here city.

So this is our way to come out training women of self defense.

So what I'm going to do is I'm going to pretend to rape them and I'm going to see if they can stop.

Except I'm not going to pretend.

I'm not.

I do a real good job of pretending.

Hey, women is self defense, empower women.

I already warned them that I might be getting an erection while I do this, and there's nothing I or and more importantly, she can do about it.

Yet, no, the courts ain't stopping this erection.

You signed the release form.

Also advocate for women's rights.

And women's lefts if they'll give me what I want.

Today's workshop was held.

I swear to God, these guys will do everything for women to keep them safe except give them a safe city to live in.

But here's my look, here's my thank you.

Anything other than I don't know in power, maybe create.

Some policies that in a functioning city.

I don't know I know.

No, I'm gonna be out here teaching him how to do a Kimora.

Okay, I guess that's gonna help.

But here's my point, dude, that girl's like twelve years old and we's one hundred pounds.

But what's she gonna do with like figuring this does not gonna help her?

Can't we just build a functioning society instead of giving every single woman Buffy the Vampire training, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer training.

Okay, that would be cool.

So first off, that would be cool.

We could do that, but again, it's not gonna help them because you know who could beat Buffy the Vampire Slayer in.

Real any dude, any dude.

So like, again, we're not.

Even non vampire dude.

Yeah, you know, could be Buffy the Vampire Slayer, her neighbor, her, you know who.

Should have been Buffy the Vampire Slayer Luke Perry?

Yeah, yeah, thank you?

Option much better.

He was a guy, right, Yeah, who's good at who's her?

Yeah?

Who's who's better than you?

Were killing vampires?

Except any other guy?

Mmm?

I'm Jane.

It's just a lie.

It's such a fucking lie that they tell.

Women society at Philadelphia John.

Again, I want to point out I'm not some sort of badass fighter.

Okay, I'm not.

I don't like getting into fights.

I don't want to fight people.

I am too old to do that.

I actively avoid it.

You know, I'm not a guy that you're gonna get into a fight by like calling me names in public.

That's not gonna work with me because I'm gonna laugh and go.

I don't care about I have two things.

I own a firearm and I own a phone that's able to call nine to one one.

Yeah, I don't need I don't need it.

But that being said, yeah, I'm gonna be able to better handle myself.

If somebody tried to rape me, you know what I mean, I'll do something about it.

Since says he is planning similar events across the city in the coming month.

Good, So just this is you know, what does people go pretend it's empowerment stuff.

This is just another money laundering scheme because he's probably fucking the woman who does the training or some shit.

All right, Uh, let's uh, let's let's tick over.

You know, I haven't checked on on CNN in a while.

I haven't seen how they're doing and listen, I understand.

I'll be very clear because we've covered it on this show, and I think because we've been covering it so much, we forget.

But listen, the Republican Party is a fucking mess.

There's like three different factions in it now.

It's a fucking nightmare.

When I get in the Epstein files, I mean, it's fucking shit show.

I got it, we've been covering it or whatever.

But even with all that, I have to tell you this, the Democrats literally have nothing like you would think right now would be the perfect time when the Republicans then out there fucking.

Yelling at Trump.

They suck.

Like when I tell you they don't have a plan, they really.

They got there.

They do.

Just just break out new some.

Later in case of an emergency you think he's behind glass.

Yeah, hey Ray Ray, Hey, Ray Ray, I have an idea for you break this case of emergency and have a donkey breaking noose amount.

Okay, dating apps can be brutal.

Many of you use them say you were fed up.

A form survey finds at seventy eight percent of dating app users felt emotionally, mentally, or physically exhausted by.

Them all the fucking there we're doing.

So what's fueling the frustration.

Well, politics is part of it, Megan.

Other ideologies shape the outlook of some of the people you might be finding on the app.

Let me guess it's the maga people who are unaccepting of others.

Yeah, unwilling to compromise.

Yes, you're right.

The closed minded people that go to church and do charity drives.

I'm really close minded about that.

Yeah, you're right.

The right wingers, the date and go.

Yeah.

Look, I'm just trying to fuck.

I don't care.

I don't care if you voted for Biden.

It doesn't bother me at all.

That's fucking don't give a shit that dude.

That is the truest thing in the world.

That is the difference.

You think, I give a fucking some hot chick that wants to blow me fucking it for fighting.

Well, because I believe in trans rites word word girl.

Yeah, I feel you.

Yeah, me too, me too.

Yeah, trans people, I feel you.

But you go, but you're not right.

Just to confirm, but you're not right.

Ah, I mean, I guess we're gonna find out either way, and one way.

Or the other, you know, But if a push comes to shove myke Dick goes in your mouth, not the other way around.

Listen you, if you're training, it's fine, but you dick better be small.

Okay, I'm taking no big training.

No, I'm not a hey, I'm no, I'm not some sort of homo.

So anyway, i gotta have a girly penis.

Because I'm trying to keep this toy.

Yeah, that's actually that's that's Mercy's bumble profile.

That's what it says.

I'm trying to keep this tight.

Try trying to keep this thing toy my assholes, only for my future husband.

I'm gonna start a tender profile and be like, you have any ladies interested in this bussy.

Mercer's the photo of you looking over your shoulder with going ooh.

And that is your usernames.

Your user name is the Forbidden Cheerio.

Mersho us up at Blair White and it's like, so my new girlfriend, I'd be like no, and I go what you told me to make connections with people so we get to push the show.

I'm like, not like that, Mers, that's not the connection I meant.

Dude, you're missing You're missing the point.

Royce is wrong he's half right.

I do want to date Blair White, but only so I can introduce her as my boyfriend to everybody, just as a humiliation ritual for her.

Hey, what's up me my really really pretty boyfriend.

Now that's really funny.

That's worth it, that's actually worth it.

Just nudging you at a barbecue, Go get Royce Royce r.

He's fucking hot, huh.

A fucking hot dude, huh.

And then when gets upset, I'll be like, oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were based.

Yeah, excuse me, call call Blair by Bob or whatever the dead name is.

What was Blair White's name before it was Blair White, Bob Bob White.

That is becoming a deal breaker for some daters.

We were talking with The Atlantic's Faith Hill in this week's.

Oh well cool, Wow you already said all the words I love The Atlantic and Faith Hill, I'm so.

In episode of The Assignment about the consequences of searching for love online.

The consequences.

In what ways have political trends poisoned the dating Well, no again.

We're gonna bring this up again.

I'm sorry, but this is the fucking truth.

And it's and it's and I mean, you could see it and you know of just talk to people, have you have, dude, friends Merch brought it up.

But he's one hundred percent right that political bullshit is only coming from the left.

Dude.

The left is the one out there going.

You better, you better like abortion, you better say fucking nobody on the right gives a fuck dude.

Not.

By the way, ladies, as an owner of a penis, I hate to break the news to you, but you girls aren't sticking to your little fucking uh your little promises.

Oh no, oh no, they're not.

They are making You're making your little pledges to each other, like we're not going to date right wingers and guess what, you're all lyying with each other.

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.

I'm sure if the six foot four shacked MAGA guy hit on them, they wouldn't They wouldn't go out with him, There's no way, because he's he's pro life.

Get the fuck out of here.

You're such you're all such fucking liars.

You've you've spent like years telling fucking women that like MAGA supporters are the most dangerous people on the planet.

Women like dangerous ship They make poor decisions for themselves.

Here's here's a perfect example.

They literally they all all in love with serial killers in prison and shit.

Yeah yeah, you dude, they're obsessed with murder fucking stories.

It's crazy.

But like but like when but but they do this thing right where they the reason that the people on the right don't really fucking care where your political view is because you guys are so stupid that, like, if it's a girl like I'm mrsh, I'm sure you feel the same way.

If it's a girl who's a left is and that if you felt like it, you know you could go.

I could turn her onto her whatever I want her to be.

She's a girl, I'll do whatever I want.

Eventually, she's stupid and she's gonna want to impress me, so she'll vote.

She'll be runn voting Republican in a year.

But when it's the other way around, you're not gonna convince.

You know, it's not gonna work.

You know, it's just not gonna trust me.

If I can get a girl to start wearing Jets jerseys on Sundays when they're playing, I can get a.

Girl to vote Republican.

Yeah, it's not that, you know what I mean?

Like it's look, man, I hate to break it to you, ladies, and this is the fucking truth.

And look, and maybe disrespect intended, I don't care, but the reality is, in my forty three years of life, what I have seen is most women want to be told what to do in one way or the other.

Maybe not in every little thing.

Maybe they don't want to be micromanaged, but they just want some dude to fucking do it.

Because their brains are cuckoo bananas, okay, and all everything going in there is just fuck, it's a hurricane at all times.

Okay.

They have hormones and they have tits and they don't know what to do with them.

So like they don't know what to do.

They bleed constantly, banging the doors with them and stuff.

Yeah, they bleed for.

No reason, Like it's fucking crazy.

They're a mess, right, So they just need somebody to go, hey, we're going to Flannagan's and they'll go, yeah, it's fine, like that's it.

They just that's it, Okay, that's it.

That's all they need.

It's very simple, ladies.

If I'm right type A in the chat, I.

Think that we are, uh in a very tricky political and cultural moment for dating just because.

You know, no, not me, I'm doing fine.

No, sounds like you're fucking boring.

I'm sorry, I'm thinking.

I'm thinking you're only speaking of ugly women who don't you put makeup on.

Maybe your specific subsect of people are not getting laid.

Also, have you tried smiling more?

God, and especially among you know what's good bangs young.

People and you see that young men are moving further to the right, young women growing more progressive.

Yeah, yeah, because women are stupid.

It is because you're stupid, because you do what the TV tells you.

Tom For a lot of women in particular, it can just sort of feel like this is not a time right.

Where you don't possess the ability that men have.

Men have the ability to listen to something and then go, oh, yeah, I don't know all that sounds pretty gay.

I'm not gonna do that, yeah, and then just walk away.

Women don't have that ability to just go oh yeah, that sounds kind of stupid and gay.

Everybody's seen the fucking screenshots of the study.

They literally did a study, and testosterone makes men able to go no, this room is full of queers.

Come out here, I'm gonna go do some me ship.

Yeah, I'm out of peace, and then.

I feel respected by men.

I don't necessarily want to go out and meet strangers who are men.

Again, you you create your own prisons, because I'll tell you what's happening.

Guys are guys aren't doing that?

We're not.

The guys are like, I don't know.

Is she down to fuck?

Yeah?

We don't make these weird art.

If Royce and Marie meets some cute chick and they think I'll hit it off with her or whatever, and they go, hey, man, we met this chick.

Man, she'll be hanging out with you if you want to come hang out.

I'm not gonna would I ever ask you, like, what does she who she votes for?

No?

Of course not.

Is she one of these libs are No, you're gonna go Is she hot?

Yeah?

She can't?

Like?

What's that is usually Mercia's first question.

It's like, she's cute?

She's cute, because that's the I mean, because you have to get over that hump.

That's the first hump we gotta get it.

Is she at least cute?

All right?

Go talk to her like, but I'm not gonna immediately sit down and go who'd you vote for?

I need to know twenty twenty and twenty twenty twenty.

You need to think of the flat tax.

No, I don't care.

We have an administration that is, you know, stripping away reproductive rights and protection.

Yeah, I go up and run game on a chick Like Jesse Finkman when he's at dinner with Walton Skyler.

I'm like, yes, like whatever happened to like truth and advertising?

Man.

It's my favorite scene in that show when when Walt is fighting with Skyler and they're eating quietly and they're like, no, Jesse, you're gonna stay and have dinner, and he's just sitting there in between him the whole time, like.

Meet strangers who are men.

We have an administration that is, you know, stripping.

Away You also have that she has that thing that I hate with that, Like I know right away this is one of my ultimate red flags with women.

They have that weird, like always on the verge of tears sound and they're yeah, like this like this quivering, wavering voice at all times, like it's tough, hey, man, are going more to it?

All right?

It's just like they always sound like they're on the verge of crying.

It's like, you're a mess.

By the way she's saying, because Trump selected, you can't get fucking, fucking fucked.

Get the fuck out of here.

Shut up now.

Are we gonna do both sides of this black lady from CNN or are we just gonna interview the woman, because I'd like to hear you interview a guy and be like, so, what do you think about these political trends and then the guy just be like, yeah, I don't know.

I just got laid last night.

I think all these shit's kind of gay.

Yeah, what do you mean?

Honestly, no one want to go out to who talks about politics?

Women are most be talking about Love Island, So oh.

Be honest, dude.

I'm super right wing.

And I went down the other day just to get some frozen yogurt and there was like a pro choice rally in front of the place, and I just pulled.

I pulled right from there.

It was super easy.

I just walked up to a bitch.

I was like, you want some men cheese, and then she's like sure, and then she just threw a placard on the ground and we left.

That's it.

Meet these women will all abandon each other for some dick in a moment.

You see it at.

Anytime, Hey, you want to go get some boba?

You don't even like, but you know she does what she does.

I would walk up to a girl and be like, yo, you want to go get some boba.

I think I'm buying her some kind of pet.

I think it's a la bubuna lo boba.

This is not a time where I trust men.

I feel respected by men?

Oh good, that's great.

You know what that you know why?

That's awesome because I don't respect you?

So this really worked out, Like, honestly, what a happy coincidence.

You don't respect men.

I don't want to respect you.

Hey, you don't feel you don't feel respected by ben?

Maybe you puss?

These things puts me.

Do you feel respected now?

Is that better?

Don't necessarily want to go out and meet strangers who.

Are hey, hey, maybe we respect you the less of this and more of this.

Yeah, man, how about maybe less wispy bangs?

Yeah, and more about bangs like my aunt and her hair's been thinning for like twenty years.

Yeah, seriously, how many SSRIs do is this bitch on or men?

We have an administration, that is, you know, stripping away reproductive rights and protections against gender discrimination.

Ah, you're talking about reproductive rights and all the shit that men are doing to you.

Meanwhile, you're like supposed to be a healthy woman in your thirties and because of all the SSRIs and shit you're on, you already need to use lube, like so that fucking come to me with your fucking attitude here.

Yeah, thirty year old should need bad just so exactly like you should still be making your own honestly, how'd your factory shut down so early?

Your factory?

Yeah?

No, fucking your pussy juice?

The layoffs?

Huh?

What is there a fucking workers strike down there?

What are you drying?

What are you eating cotton balls?

Like?

How are you so dry?

I love that She's like they found a rat in the batch mixer.

Time it's allowed to have one percent rat.

I like how this bitch was like, they're stripping away gender protections.

Yeah, we're trying to keep fucking Oh, there's got to be a way to say this.

I believe in you female or male to female athletes of power from punching you in their fucking granium, You stupid ass.

I mean, and and you can.

Also you know what, I look at her, I'm sorry with women are fighting for their right to CTE.

Look at her eyes black guys like a dull eyes.

I mean, I wonder why you're not doing great in the dating scene.

You're so lovely, I mean, look at you.

Look a woman like this is like, why am I not getting laid?

You know what?

It must be Trump's fault.

Yeah, you're right, it's Trump's fault.

Trump only.

Trump only has power over who he fucks.

He has nothing to do with our dating lives.

Now.

I don't care who's president.

I've never used as an excuse why you haven't gotten laid.

Like never, I've never been like that.

I've never been like God damn Obama.

I haven't been pulling any pussy because of that guy.

You know, ever since George W.

Bush in nine to eleven.

You know, it's been really difficult.

And that's another thing I'm annoyed at these fucking guys, like at Trump and and Biden about too.

I was getting more pussy under Bush and obaa Obama.

So I want to go back to that era.

You were also in your twenties, dude, I guess to.

Be fair, probably have a lot to do with it.

That's still still I don't care.

Listen, at the end of the day, Obama was still president.

That is no.

I mean, I get that that's true, but I don't think this is a direct correlation.

It's also I'm pretty sure if we get if we just elect Barack Obama again, these bitches will fucking lighten up again.

I doubt it.

I doubt it.

Give him cool black guy back, full cigarette smoking black guy.

I almost missed the fucking guy.

At this point.

There is this kind of resentment among a lot of men, kind of a backlash too.

Yeah, we're the resentful ones.

We're the ones who are bitter.

We're the ones doing CNN interviews about how we're not getting pussy.

You should go on go to CNN and be like Mike Sheeley sad because he's not getting pussy.

They should pull me on this interview.

I'll be like, yo, I'll tell you what.

I will wreck this bitch is pussy right now.

I will blow her back out, I'll take her.

Fuck her, i will fuck her until she's begging for another Trump term.

Now, I'll tell you what.

I'll blow her back out so hard, I'll take her from the Atlantic to the Pacific.

How's that sound?

No resentment among a lot of men, kind of a backlash to me to a backlash to uh.

Yeah, we're the bitter ones.

Finance all you would have to do to make her wet.

And I'm kidding you because these how these women are you just walking to her and be like, hey, no, that's it, that's all it would take and she'd be like, okay, well whatever you want, yeah, okay, because they're so phony.

They're so phony.

Also, when these these these are these women that are like this, and I know Mercy will one hundred percent back me on this.

There's one of two things that these women are sexually, either asexual weirdos or they want to be spit on, choked, treated like garbage wrecked.

Yeah, I'm telling.

You all of these like you know feminists, and then and then they allowed.

To themselves to go actually getting spit on the face and call the little slut bitch cut is actually empowering feminism.

Okay, bro.

I've had some women request some ship before where I was like, whoa, Oh, I don't know if I'm cut out for this.

I don't know if I'm a guy.

It's weird that you're making me sign an nda.

I feel uncomfortable about that.

I had a girl one time.

She wanted me to hit her in the face, damn, And I was like, yeah, I don't know if I can do that.

I was like, I literally had to cut it short.

I literally told her and I quote, yeah, I'm not comfortable with.

Can I get some follow up questions here?

Real quick?

Race?

White?

White?

Okay?

That makes sense, that makes sense.

Was she white or was she Jewish?

No?

White?

White?

White white?

Okay, okay, yeah, all right, that was my only question.

White white, like southern girl.

And she wanted to be that makes sense.

She wanted me to like it didn't just right away start.

That way, like but like things were getting.

A little bit rough, but you know, fun rough, fun rough like that we like to have fun around here.

And it wasn't enough.

And then at one point she's like hit me, and I'm like, all right, you know, so I smacked in the face.

Let's I's got a little smack and she's like, no, I want you to hit me.

And I was like, yeah, I can't do that.

I'm not punching you in the face.

I'm not sending a girl home tomorrow with a fucking with bruises all of her face.

I don't think that.

And this is what I lived in Topsail Beach and uh in North North Carolina, a town of about two hundred and fifty people.

Yeah, so I'm like, yeah, I'm not gonna have that.

And it was the off seat.

It wasn't even tourist season, so it's like it was quiet on that island.

I'm like, everyone's gonna see you.

With big fucking welts on your you know, my first worry would be like that she was trying to set you up for something like that would be my first worry, you know what I mean, Like what if.

She's yeah normally yeah, but not not at this era in my life.

And this girl, No, this was just two fucking people who lived in a beach town hooking up.

There was there was no there was nothing to be had.

Yeah.

That was Murcia's wet hair, don't care hair era.

Yeah, that was his party boy.

That was I did have long hair, I remember, I remember that was my long hair.

Side Jenni side Circus says, I'm not gonna do a dayway bit here, but thank you for the money.

I don't think so, says Philly is a shithole.

I fucking hate this city.

That's why I'm leaving this goddamn fuck hole.

Genocide Circus says Buffy had supernatural strength and our only defense against Angel and Spike was to be soft and breedable.

See it always goes back.

I'm sorry, but that's the TV show and we were talking about the film, oh, the good one.

Yeah, we were talking about the one that we liked, right got it's.

Weird now too.

That fucking somebody from Buffy is now one of the co hosts of who are these podcasts?

What's up?

T V show Buffy or Movie Buffy?

Who do you?

Who?

Do you prefer?

Different vibes?

They're two completely different fucking vibes.

Bro.

Sorry, Movie Christy Swanson.

Christy Swanson.

Christy Swanson is eighties muff beautiful, and Sarah Michelle Geller.

Is like nineties belly top, like fucking sexy.

I will take oh like whale tail.

Yeah yeah, vibes dance not said, Okay, I still love Christy Swanson.

Bro.

Christy Swanson in the Chase gorgeous Christy Swanson specifically in the movie, The Chase, The Fucking Karen Haircut.

Dennis nails it again, dance not he sent this, what's one minute week or play it?

But my rational thinking and my desire for an open dialogue, we're a dead giveaway.

It's all starting to make sense.

See, this generation doesn't even understand half the ship that they're saying.

They aren't more ethical than us, They just want to be perceived as such.

Yep, I know who could blame them?

I mean, they've spent their entire adult lives only two hundred and eighty characters away.

From being tweeted into oblivion.

I took a new tech.

We need to use our privilege as much as we possibly can't protect people.

How can you not.

See that we need to use our privilege to protect people as much as we can.

This is what Mercer is talking about.

You're just getting laid.

Them and go through the motions, and you're golden.

Who will because if we don't, who will?

Exactly what we need is a revolution.

Exactly what we need is a revolution.

Simply regurgitating back to them exactly what they're saying to each other, and they're ridiculous.

Echo chambers is all they want, and then we can get what we.

Want and that's it, and that's a hundred percent true.

Dennis is, without a doubt gonna go down in history is one of the greatest TV characters of all time, in the history.

Row of all time.

He is a fucking lunatic.

Like, honestly, I watched that show just for Dennis.

Now it's it's my guy.

He's a fucking lunatic.

They're gonna study his character in the future.

Zeus, Oh, yeah, no, they'll be entire wikis where they're breaking down, like where they're actually like psycho analyzing him and they're gonna be like, yeah, he shows signs of psychopathy.

He shows signs like they're gonna go through the what is it, the DSV.

Or or whatever, and they're gonna find everything he has body he has body dysmorphia.

I mean, really go down the list.

He's a fucking lunatic, dude.

Sweaty Zoo says.

Also, they gated all the hot girls behind twenty dollars a week subscription on apps.

When I moved to Austin, apps.

Were new and it was so easy to destroy their own piggy bang genocide.

Cirkus said, I had a woman that wanted to be slapped, I could palm her entire head like a dodgeball.

I wasn't doing that and genocide circus.

You're black, you definitely don't want to be doing that because they would you go to jail forever.

Slappings are right if you do it right.

You gotta do it right.

Well then and you can't go to The problem is you gotta smack.

You can't smack like when you smack, you gotta make sure it makes that light smacking noise.

But if you start hitting meat, that's a problem because in the next day they're gonna be looking around looking like Charlie Starn and the Devil's Advocate.

Well, let's let's do this.

Let's let's head over to our to go to Carnival Cruiz and head over to our next edition.

Oh god, I know this, but mersh.

Let's see if their their new rules worked.

You know how they implemented new rules.

Maybe it worked.

Let's check out fight boat.

Oh, let back it up?

Whoa stop wall stop black op my man back up.

It's going down, eh Oh?

Ship, well gone to the mother fucking cruise.

No no not me man holdo ship no, no not me, man, come on the ship.

God well, crew, did not expect it to be I did not expect it to be a white guy or Puerto Rican guy, I guess, but it's I thought it was gonna be a black guy filming Holy Ship.

Many damn.

He's just some Puerto Rican lives in like Volusia County.

Like that's the locals deals.

Yeah.

Shit, if you live in Florida too, they'll send you all types of cheap ass deals because they know it's easy to get you on a boat because they're like, oh, this motherfucker lives like forty five minutes away from Port Canaveral.

Yeah, so they'll drop you.

They'll drop they'll make the price almost nothing because they think, you know, you're gonna spend money on booze and stuff.

You're a homie.

What God damn Joe.

Check out one of the craziest deal I found out this week and one of the craziest things that I've ever heard.

And check out how smart this guy is.

So if you've ever been to Key West, I don't even been to key West, Merch, but you know there's a little island behind Key West called Sunset Key with all like the really expensive cottages and stuff.

Oh yeah, really nice area that guy.

You know, that's where Mallory Square is Key what Mallory Squares all the street performers, So that's really nice at night.

Mallay Squares is awesome, good Cuban restaurant there.

But anyway, they that the guy who owns Sunset Key is the reason that the Key West has a cruise ship doc because he paid out of his own money to build the dock.

Now, damn, but you think smart, right, he paid I forgot how much money it was.

Do you know the deal that he asked for in return all he wanted.

Now he's already made his money.

Eight dollars for every single person that's on every cruise that docks there, every single time at docks eight dollars.

Damn, that's a lot of that adds up quick though.

Three thousand people of per cruise ship, you get a cruise ship.

You get three cruise ships about every day.

Do the math?

Fuck yeah, the guy brilliant.

You gotta give it to him.

Pretty fucking smart.

And by the way, it's not how many people are on the ship, it's whatever the full capacity is.

He gets charged.

He paid gets eight bucks for each each person.

Oh, so it's not even per person that I have.

Actually, he's on the.

Ship per capacity.

Yeah, so it could literally be like a quarter capacity ship.

He's still getting he's getting the full money.

Yep.

Pretty smart, pretty smart guy.

Man, Oh, we got fucked up.

I just want some pizza.

What a pizza?

Though?

You know, these cruises are getting out of control and these young guys are affording it.

Yep, there's another angle.

Do you wait a second.

You mean getting rid of the JBL speakers and the clacking fans didn't fix the actual problem.

No, it turns out you gotta get rid.

Of the blacks.

That's the rule, has to be just now blacks.

Yeah, you know what.

It's security's fault.

Well, by the way, do you know what this fight broke out over?

No?

Oh, Chicken tenders thought.

I thought that was Cha Tendy's baby.

It was a Chicken Tendy fight.

Listen, I get it, I get it, I get it.

But honestly, I've been on Carnival.

Those aren't Chicken Tendis I would fight over.

I'll be honest with They're not the best.

It doesn't sound like they'd be great.

They're not the best there's that is it?

Hold on?

Is it though?

Is it one of those things we're at the at the buffet carnival?

Those are the best item?

Yeah?

Or maybe who cares.

I'm drunk.

It's three in the morning and I'm down four hundred dollars gambling.

Just give me some tendy's fair enough.

They don't have to they don't have to be great.

I get the fighting now, I get.

I'm drunk, I'm stoned and I'm cranky.

Give me ten d's now and I'm black.

Oh now you're black.

Now there's a wild card.

Now.

A developing story, we've learned a former advisor to Adams handed a journalist a bag of potato chips filled with cash.

What yeah, who was this?

Who is it again?

An aid to Mayor Adams gave a journalists a bat an empty bag of chips that had cashing it.

This comes as several of the mayor's associates.

I think there's a photo corruption charges.

Ally Bawman has more.

There it is.

It's not even a lot of money.

Envelope of cash stuffed into a potato chip bag.

This is what New York journalist Katie Honan says, was handed to her Wednesday by former City Hall advisor Winnie Greco after a campaign event for the mayor in Harlem.

Yeah, I just want to say that what had happened was she had won the police raffle.

What he What I want to know is what the amount of money was, because I bet you it was such a it was it wasn't it worth?

Apparently it wasn't enough for her not to say something about it.

Dude, the chip bag's weird, but I'm wondering.

I'm gonna it's in a red envelope.

You know how in Asians on their New Year or whatever, they put the money in the red envelopes.

With like the goal on it.

To her Wednesday, put it.

In that so that she could have a backup alibi, Like, no, no, it's a tiny good luck.

Former City Hall advisor Winnie Greco after a campaign event for the mayor in Harlem.

Honan says she tried to give the money back and quickly notified the Adams campaign and the Department of Investigation.

Greco, Adam's former director of Asian Affairs, resigned from City Hall last.

Why do we have that?

Wait?

She resigned last year, so there's nothing to do.

Oh you okay, why do we have a director of Asian affairs.

After the FBI raided her home during his corruption case.

A spokesman for the Mayor's reelection campaign set in part Greco holds no position in this campaign and has been suspended from all volunteer campaign related activities.

Look at that pinstripe suit.

Hours later, Mayor Adams was all smiles in Harlem, shortly after the news that one of his closest political allies is facing another round of corruption chargges.

An attorney for Ingrid Lewis Martin that is.

A rough looking one.

That's a rough looking.

Lady, confirms to CBS News New York that she will be in court Thursday to answer new charges filed by Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg, her attorney saying, in part, while the specifics remain unclear, Ingrid is certain of one thing.

She has broken no laws and she is not guilty.

The former chief advisor to Mayor Adams is already facing bribery charges handed down last December, along with her son, Glenn Martin.

This new indictment, according to The New York Times, includes Lewis Martin and her son, as well as the Deputy Commissioner for Reals.

Oll No, hold on, hold on, Yeah, she was definitely bribed.

I'm just that's her son, one hundred percent.

But here's the thing, and here's what and here's what bugs means, like all of them are, they're just they're just making they're trying to take Adams out of the picture so this new COMMI mayor could take over.

That's what's happening here.

It's pretty obvious running around all the people around him.

Now that being said, were they're taking bribes?

Sure?

Now I ask you to find me the last mayor of New York that hasn't.

Mm hmmm, Darrello LaGuardia.

Yeah, the Commissioner for Real Estate Services, Jesse Hamilton, and two major donors, Tony and Gina Argento, who run a prominent New York based sound stage company.

Attorneys for the Argentos say they are aware of an indictment charging alleged improper conduct involving a former New York City public official, of which they categorically deny the allegations.

The mayor is not expected to be charged.

We have got no notification we've put out out State City Hall commented in part Mayor Adams was not involved in this matter and has not been accused of or implicated in any way.

Yeah, they're just doing this, Teaven, throw more shit on him.

I mean it's pretty obvious.

Jenni side Turkis says, all you got to do is play the theme from Cruise Ship level from Tech and eight and throw folding chairs start fighting.

All right?

Uh oh, this one's pretty rough tonight.

The victim of an elder abuse investigation is talking and police say, a woman pretended to be a caretaker and turn the victims home into an erotic massage parlor.

What I'll play it again because I did to do the same thing when I first heard it.

But you gotta really this rule.

No, I heard it, but that rules, I know, but I just want to hear it because it's fun.

An elder abuse investigation is talking and police say, a woman pretended to be a caretaker and turn the victims home into an erotic massage parlor.

Can you get me my cane after jerking this guy off?

Maybe?

Bro?

This is the plot of.

An R rated comedy from the mid two thousands.

The cops arrive and she's like, there's people being jerked off in my bathroom.

And then the guy who's doing it is like Grandma, she's got Alzheimer's.

She doesn't know what he's talking about, your medicine.

Boston twenty five newsport Daniel Katsis.

It's not every day that somebody commits a new crime.

This is a new one.

This is a new crime.

Before and turned the victims home into an erotic massage parlor.

Boston twenty five news report of Daniel coatsis unseene.

In Rutland Friday, and I had the chance to catch up with that elderly woman named Sheila, and she.

Right after I got an erotic massage.

Yeah, I mean you're.

There, lives right behind me in her Rutland home.

She tells me.

She is this is the kind of weird that I can only attribute to one other thing that I remember where in Toronto, this guy got in trouble because he tried to open a brothel for real dolls.

What oh gross in an area with a lot of elementary schools.

Oh even.

Beurious after being taken advantage of by her caretaker for over a year and having her longtime home flipped upside down in the meantime.

I would tell her to go to hell.

Her being thirty eight.

Year old Maria Martin.

Ew, that's the one.

Give me jerking you off.

Accused of destroying Shila's home oh shit, and turning it into an erotic massage parlor over the last six months.

Look very sexy when it is a person doing the massages.

Yeah, I was just in shock when I got here.

It was even more shocking.

So I'm just trying to recuperate.

Sheila, who didn't want to go on camera, opened her home to Maria Martin last year as her caretaker, and for the last six months she's been at a medical care facility with Martin watching over the home.

Oh okay, that makes sense.

D out of her own house and completely destroyed it.

Detective Cassandra Desusa with what I think she might be a lesbian when police said, Martin changed the front and back walks and it didn't stop there.

There was things piled up, there was drug paraphanelia out on the tables.

Some of her belongings are missing.

Martin's also accused of running an erotic massage parlor inside ads online and neighbor reports caught the attention of police.

At night.

It just seemed very suspicious to think.

I went over there and checked it out and only got the massage like three or four times.

That's it.

By the by the sixth time I went over there, I thought there was something the fairy is going on.

So I went back at seventh time just to be sure and time that.

Was the time that I decided something's got to be done about So.

By the time I knew it was weird because the grandma never came out and played with my painted.

Yeah, I thought it was.

Long.

Different vehicles from different states, and I was like, well, that's weird.

Bro.

I was such a.

Stunt.

I mean, I wish something could have been done sooner.

We should be checking on on our neighbors more often.

Martin was a brained at East Brookfield District cord Hood.

Is this woman's hand job that people were They've been driving across the country for this woman's hand jobs.

I need to know how good this woman's jerk.

Someone I contact some whispering in the ear, like what's going on?

What is she doing that's different.

From a building vandalizing property?

What is she doing that's different?

And how can my wife learn it?

Do you need a.

Caretaker, because I think I have one for you.

I'm good, Okay.

A client her clients drove across state lines for a hand job.

What were her clients.

Sixteen year olds that just cut their drivers?

Like?

Exactly?

Hand job.

Anyway?

From a building vandalizing and permitting abuse of an outer or disabled person as.

Someone looking after your house if you're leaving for a while.

There's also been an outpouring of support from this Rutland community.

Plenty of people want to volunteer their time and energy to help Shila and her home.

In the meantime, Martin is being held on five thousand dollars?

Did she ever get a massage out of this?

At least?

Yeah?

I mean at least you could give her a freebie, right.

Genocide circus is all you gotta do is play the feme Are there already?

That's just a plot for Porky's eleven Bang Bang Jerkoff Gang.

Okay, I haven't seen Porky's eleven.

Porky's ten is when they go to space.

That's Porky's x.

Uh.

I liked Porky's versus Meatballs.

Oh that one was really good.

You know what, Let's see if I could do one of these, let's try.

Set your clocks, mark your calendars, and buckle up for the best NFL primetime football action.

Starting September fourth, on Westwood one.

You can catch all the bone crushing hits, last second heroics, and edge of your seat action that NFL Thursday, Sunday and Monday nights have to offer.

Whether your tail, getting driving or chilling at home.

Don't miss a single snap.

Listen on the NFL app on the Westwood one Sports app, westwoodwesports dot com, or just say Alexa open Westwood one Sports.

If it's in the NFL, it's on Westwood one.

And guys, if you want to support us, go to Revenge of the Sist dot locals dot com or Patreon dot com.

Sesh, we're not sorry.

We had some people sign up yesterday.

They really enjoyed the show was a lot of fun.

And if you want to enjoy the second half of tomorrow's show, go do that.

Go sign up seven bucks a month.

Get me great.

Is it that football's back?

Thank God?

I love the Livery.

I love the Westwood Liverais because it just reminds me that football.

God.

Thank fuck.

I've been watching such shitty sports.

I know, like literally, most sports is just.

A thing to hold you over until football comes back.

Patreon dot com sash We're not sorry.

Revenge of Thesist dot locals dot com just below the episode seven bucks a month, guy, sign up right now.

You know we're trying to get h We're trying.

I want to get our locals back up to about two thousand people.

We had some people that moved over to Patreon.

So my goal right now is I think we'rely at seventeen sixty over our locals.

I want to get that back up to two thousand.

And I would love, love, love love to get Patrion.

Patreons gone up a bit since we reopened it up, but man, getting Patron up to three hundred would be awesome.

I think we're like a two twenty six over there.

You get the same content in both.

You help us out if you have seven bucks.

I know most people aren't even doing it because even the money, it's just annoying to put your credit card in.

I get it, but you'd really be helping us keep doing the show, guys, so head over there right now.

And also just the thought like if you guys, let's say, there's other shows that you guys enjoy and you support and stuff like that, like you know, like I know, who are these podcasts a big show?

The biggest problem in the universe.

A little fun, little pro tip.

You can cancel your support of them on patreon it and just give us.

Some which is fine.

Like, honestly, if you're one of.

Those hacks just starting fights with people.

If you're one of those Hacked the Movie subscribers, forget that guy.

Fuck that guy over to us.

He doesn't let me go on his show.

I'm on his pay.

Well, I'm gonna just steal all his stuff and post on ours.

Yeah, just give us the money you would give Tony from Hack the Movies, because you get one hundred percent more mersh over here and one.

Hundred percent less veto.

We'll be right back habom know about.

Among them.

And from.

Everything and the.

CLO.

These days, running a small business can.

Be a big challenge, whether we're receiving a flower delivery for unclear reasons, or raising the blinds and flipping over the open closed sign, which is how I spend more of my workday, or even making a latte for a black woman an iced tea for a white woman and a coffee for a gently brown guy who could go in a lot of different directions.

We've got our hands full.

That's why Chase Bank is here for us.

When this man in a suit from Chase Bank came down and shook my hand at my place of business, it really solidified what we'd already talked about at his office.

Now we're looking at a laptop like my stupid little coffee shop is going to be a big disruptor in the online space, and my Chase business card allows me to make those emergency purchases that I lose sleep at night over.

Chase understands my business the way they understand all businesses, as a huge reverse funnel that shoves money upwards to them.

Hey, another flower delivery.

These will look great in the bathroom while I'm pooping blood from the stress.

Now I'm flipping over that open clothes sign again.

Is that a new stadium with Chase's name on it?

How they afford that I'll be in this bathroom for a while?

Fet to toss it to the announcer.

At Chase Bank, We're about more than just four closing on American servicemen while overseas We're about small business.

So when you think of Chase, don't think of the two thousand and eight financial crash.

Think of your local sympathetic small business.

Flower delivery Ya god flower.

For what.

Second hour aro otc.

Thank you for staying with us.

We do appreciate it.

Today's the Thursday show.

And thank you to the person who just signed up on locals over the break.

We appreciate it.

Hi louse guys, Hey, there's.

Lou Hi Lou.

Hanging out.

So yes, tomorrow's a Friday show.

First hour for everybody, second hour for rich people.

That's how it goes.

Police saying this was dangerous for so many reasons, not the least of which, of course, is the level of risk at which these kids willingly put themselves in.

Now, this all happened on Monday night in the community of air Dreams.

It's crazy.

Kids never do risky things.

No, he you know what have you heard this one though?

This one's wild the.

Community of Airdrey, a group of Airdrey kids made contact with an adult from Calgary on social media and they arranged to meet in the Cooper's Crossing area Monday night.

Polease say this is a social media trend that's gaining in popularity right now.

It's modeled after you let's just.

Try to fuck a teenager that you get your ass whooped by a crowd of teenagers.

That's I mean, that's pretty awesome.

That's what they say.

It's pretty rad right now.

It's modeled after the US television show To Catch a Predator.

Now, one in this group of about ten twelve and thirteen year old kids voluntarily got into the vehicle with the suspect when he arrived.

Oh no, no, no, no, no, I told you it was no, no, no, no, it was wild.

Look look Vergie, guys, everybody like Vitali's in Filipino jail.

Someone has to irresponsibly punish pedophiles.

Clear what kind of evidence they intended to gather or record, But what they didn't.

Bargain for was that they were trying to get evidence.

I think they were just trying to whoop his ass, beating.

Away with the twelve year old boy inside.

Yeah, but he spent all the twelve year old boy in the car right.

The twelve year old mail thankfully was able.

To talking about a twelve year old doing this shit.

Dude, this is hilarious.

I mean it's crazy, but it's also funny get.

Away from the abductor.

When the suspect vehicle stopped at a red light.

The victim then ran to a safe place and called nine one one.

In this situation, when that young person got in the vehicle, we have no idea what his plan was, how he is going to stop, how he's going to get out.

I don't think he had a plan either.

He was twelve.

Yeah, he's just an idiot.

A situation.

Now, the suspect vehicle sped away after the twelve year old boy got out, RCMP, with the assistance from Calgary Police Service and the Hawks helicopter, tracked the vehicle to northwest Calgary.

There is now a man and in custody.

He is facing nine.

Serious twelve year old definitely wasn't the fucking size of Alex Rosen.

Yeah yeah, at least at least the pedo is facing nine charges.

So I think it's all worked out just fine.

I was gonna say that kid, that kid nailed it.

It worked.

Good job, kid, And actually.

Kidnapping is a way worse felony than actually diddling a kid, so good job.

Yeah, that's like, yeah, it's way worse.

Yeah, it's facing nine serious charges, which includes you're better off.

Diddling a kid, but leaving the doorway unobstructed and open just in case they want to leave, because that cause that kidnapping.

That's serious business.

Interesting they don't take they don't take diddling kids very seriously.

But you dare fucking hold them in a room against their will.

That's the kind of ship where they sit you down and they say, look, plead guilty to the fucking kidnapping, and we'll only put you in prison for forty years.

Yeah, like that's the best deal I'm getting.

Touching and three breach charges.

He is to appear in court tomorrow now.

Police have been clear they are not happy with anyone taking any sort of vigilante actions.

I get it, but that guy would have never been caught if they didn't do that.

All I'm saying, maybe you guys should do your job.

Maybe do your jobs in these twelve year olds wouldn't have to be protecting their own butttholes.

Did you think about that?

No, because that's what this story is.

You guys are not protecting them from getting diddled, so they'll have to protect themselves.

You made a bunch of vigilant little vigilantes.

That's on you.

I don't believe molesting.

You're molesting so many kids that now there are anti molestation vigilante teen gangs.

Yeah, sprouting up across the country.

If you want you to listen, if you don't want to, if you don't want to see the fucking bad end of the Sassafrass boys, I recommend that you you.

Yeah, yeah, they call the Sassafras boys.

We put a stop to this right away.

Blamed Batman.

You know, kids watch him stop the Diddler, and then they think that.

They can riddlerdler.

No, he's right, yeah, now look look at how he was dressed.

I think you might be right to diddle me.

That only taints the investigation and happen.

That's how he became the riddler.

He was actually the diddler, and then he kept trying to trick people.

He's like, no, they meant to say riddler from riddling people.

And they're like, you know, they call you the diddler.

Diddle me this robin what has it was in r But he was got like the way that look right, diddle me this robin what has five fingers and a fist?

Me inside of you in about a minute.

It's not a that's not that's not a riddle though, that's just a yeah he's.

The diddler again.

That's a sexual threat.

Uh huh.

Yeah, that's why he was so dangerous.

Holy station, Batman, don't worry.

It was it was it was my joke.

It was grown Robin from the movie.

So don't worry.

What do you mean, holy molestation, Batman, That's all Batman did to Robin.

That's only because Alfred molested him.

Vicious cycle, marsh diddle.

Me this, Batman.

I am currently hiding in a McDonald's playplace.

But which playplace?

In which state?

The jokes on you, riddler.

They took all the play places out during COVID.

Oh did they, Batman?

Oh did they?

Oh?

Fuck?

But it's also as in Canada.

That's not my problem, that's Canadian Batman's problem.

Just extremely dangerous.

Now, they do want to hear from anyone who made have been in the Cooper's Crossing area between about seven forty five and eight fifteen.

Yeah, I'm sure people are going to be lining up to get involved in this one day night.

Looking for dash cam video and any witnesses whom.

They're gonna do the smart thing like I do.

When something like this happens and I'm around, you shut the fuck up pretending you weren't there that night.

You gotta do the Simpsons.

Just don't look, Just don't look.

Yeah, Like, if I were ever in a neighborhood and like some kid just like got fucking ripped into a car and took off and was getting chased by teens with bats, I would just leave.

And if they were like, was anyone in the area that night, I'd be like, no, I wouldn't.

At the cops came to my house and asked, are you sure your car wasn't in that neighbor Oh, yeah, no, the black Cadillac STUV.

There's not a lot of those around.

I don't know what to tell you, but that was at home.

Let's check in on the female podcast space.

I guess I've kind of given up on being like attracted to people like.

Yeah, I know, shit, when did you when?

When did you decide?

That's one of the funniest things.

That's one of the funniest things you've ever heard.

I know.

That's why I brought it here.

Oh my god, that was so good.

I was just like I just took a fat rip off of this fucking backward.

Hey.

Hey, uh, disgusting men out there, she's done being pretty for you.

Yeah, she's done trying.

I guess I've kind of given up on being like attractive to people like long long ago?

What what?

What when you were a baby sliding out of your mother?

What you're about to watch is a woman who's actually becoming self aware that she's not attractive.

And when you're about to see is another woman.

Instead of being like, hey, that's okay, go to the gym with me, I'll give you some makeup tips.

May you help her to be attractive?

Instead, what she does is she goes, no, you're hot.

Watch.

I guess I've kind of given up on being like attractive to people like long long ago.

What What is that feeling coming up on your face that I'm reading, Oh my.

God, I don't know, probably disappointment, Like oh.

Like I wish listen.

Look, just because because you look like the catcher from the Sandlot doesn't mean that you can't have a full, fulfilled life.

Like it's fine, I.

Could be hot and attractive to people, but also like kind of giving that up sets you free.

Yeah, but I feel sexy when I dance.

You shouldn't because honestly, I'm looking at you sitting still and you in motion cannot be better.

In her defense, in her defense, I will give her this.

She did say I feel sexy, So you know that's fair.

I've seen you dance.

You have very good and you're very sexy when you're dancing.

Yeah, is she.

Listen, she's sexy like Mama Fortelli.

Listen, listen, centimeter away from a uner brow.

You don't get to determine what sexy is either.

Okay, let's calm down, all right.

See she looks like Chunk and Mama Fortell.

Yeah she's both.

Yeah, she's hot, not cute.

For a second, for a second, I was like, cute is not even on the table.

Yeah, hot is the table.

You're calling her hot, you're lying to her right to her fucking, fucking ugly face.

She's telling the truth.

She looks like the dudes she's into Royce.

Hot is the table that she's.

Very a very very heavily reinforced.

Table is the table that's dancing.

It's kind of it's actually, what a coincidence that you dance on tables because you look like Bubba Ray Dudley.

Yeah, it makes sense.

That's a good point.

She just broke.

So this is what women do, huh when they're podcasting.

Yeah, this woman doing there together hack.

Women suck, dude, Tell me about it, dude.

They fucking suck, dude.

And you know it's I'm still to this day getting this like bad Rapp Merch hates women, and I'm like, I don't, but they suck.

And when you tell them they suck, everybody's like, oh, somebody's got issues with women.

It's like, no, but they're fucking terrible.

Listen to them talk to each other.

It's horrible.

It is horrible.

There's nothing you really say about that.

You're telling me that when you're in a room and like with your wife and one of her like girlfriends that she hasn't hung out with in a while, and they start squealing, making weird noises and catching up, that you don't start getting the breaking bed you just found out you had cancer, noise in your ear.

I couldn't tell you.

I have noise canceling headphones that I played with my Xbox, so I wouldn't.

I wouldn't know.

But you're telling me you haven't had that moment where you were sitting there before your wife started talking to a girl and you started getting it.

You're just sowing out, like I think every guy experience is that.

It's the worst.

She broke the table.

Who oh, they're still talking about Hold on, there's still talk about the table.

Clean this table up, it's glasses.

Now, she's bleeding on the floor.

Is this Oh?

This is woman in prov comedy?

Are you liking it?

No?

Okay, hey man, it's not for everybody.

All right, she's gonna give it more.

That's why Baskin Robins has thirty one flavors.

Maybe you don't like.

Women would be so easily fixed.

Just focus on this ship you were born for and you're good at and stop trying to be dudes.

Stop trying to be good at dude things.

That's what's insufferable about you.

Hey, let's have a comedy podcast.

Let's not.

You're two white chicks.

You couldn't possibly have anything to add.

To comedy, that's true.

All you can do is take from it at this point.

Yeah, I don't want to watch you guys play basketball, and I don't want to watch you guys do comedy.

I'm sorry.

Honestly, them playing basketball is comedy.

So we can have one of these.

It's pretty funny.

I mean, yeah, she's gonna die on the dance floor.

Fuck good.

When fucking Royce was out one time and he's like, yeah, I remember you were told me to watch w NBA and I kept shitting on it, but it was on at this restaurant.

You were right.

It is just funny basketball.

They're really bad.

They're really fun really bad watching them try to throw, watching them try to blind pass, and watching the ball go up into the stands.

The ship never gets old, Like stop trying to do blind passes.

Your ladies gonna die on a dance Really funny when you watch w NBA.

But then you watch like the Celtics in the finals and you're watching them blind pass.

They're not even looking and they're lasering the ball into the other dude's hands.

And then the women try it and like they're hitting camera men.

It's really funny.

H Hey, let's check in on little nas X.

I see how he's doing.

You merched at me this.

It'll be late to the party tonight where you know where it's at.

That's just walking around Nan.

The old Amanda mindes.

No no, no, no, no, go ahead, babe, No no, no, no no, didn't I tell you to put the phone down?

Oh, somebody's going to.

Have to pay for that.

So can I guess what's going on here?

He couldn't find his horse to go to the old town road.

No, I believe that this little little nas X experiments over.

They've squeezed every bit of value they could out of him culturally, and now they're just tossing him to the fucking wolves.

Literally to the side of the road.

I mean, this guy was the biggest fucking deal in the world with all these gay, satanic petal shit he was doing at the Grammys every year they shoved this guy in our face repeatedly, and now it's just they're like done with them.

Into the streets.

You go into the fucking streets like Amanda Binds, Oh.

Yes, I.

Am serving you at that party tonight.

Oh yes, what's drugs?

Right?

Yeah, my side.

Drugs.

And the fact that again he's not like the hot thing anymore, so it's probably ship drugs and he's probably just wandering around on drugs because nobody wants it anymore.

Hey whoa.

Hell, yeah, that's gonna be a beautiful sunrise.

Jackat says, I don't think that needs any trouble.

Uh, probably just some help, uh.

A little Alex Rosen reference.

Yeah, it's a little help.

X forty two says, it's the implication.

Give me that phone so I can throw it.

I want to throw it far away so you never see it.

A kid.

I don't like.

What a weird homo.

Yeah, I mean sold his fucking soul.

This is the end result.

I got something.

I hate that about it, bitch, I hate it for you.

Hey, guys, good news, it's slopper in time.

Hey, sloppies, have you been dying.

To eat at Whispering Canyon Cafe at Disney World's Wilderness Lot I already have.

It's so obvious.

These get so ridiculously specific you'd bet.

Hey everyone, we're plus sized park hoppers.

We range some of these chicks after Mexican is a Whispering Canyon.

Two x to fy that.

Make sure you like this video and follow us from our plus sized Disney tips and tricks on this episode.

Of If I Fit, I Sit.

They're not gonna like it because some of their chairs have arms.

Not all of them, though, but some do.

We have records at Whispering Canyon Cafe.

This restaurant is located in the Beautiful Lobby of the Wilderness Lodge and is known for their all you can eat skillets and sassy weight staff.

There are a few steps at the end.

Sassy weight.

It's annoying.

They're annoying.

The white staff is annoying.

How about this about Billy?

Yeah, how about this?

Bring me my app with less sass please.

There's a ramp of vaille.

The seating consists of tables with padded chairs and half booths.

We found the layout of the restaurant to be pretty roomy and very easy to get around.

It was also seven thirty in the morning, so we were basically the only people in the restaurant.

The breakfast menu offers a mix of traditional breakfast face.

Imagine you open up the restaurant in the morning, right, and you got to figure like the early morning.

That's like you're opening crew.

I've done that before, and being opening crew.

One of the upsides is like, all right, we come in, we got more work to do than closing crew.

But we are usually not swamped.

It's not too busy.

You get in there early.

Whatever.

Imagine getting there seven am, and these these fucking hogs just start lining up and they're like, we got a six top and you're like, you want to make it?

Can't mersh Can I make it even worse for you?

You're still trying to fill sauce cups?

Can I make it even worse for you?

It's her family style, So it's.

All great, and they're just gonna keep bringing pool.

It's all you can eat, I'm not kidding.

You, along with the option for all you to care to enjoy breakfast.

Sorry, all you care to enjoy, I apologize skillet.

Ashley and Sarah's mom got the lighter side skillet.

This came with oatmeal, fresh fruit, and yogurt and egg white spinach for Tata, turkey bacon, turkey sausage, country potatoes, and Mickey shaped waffles.

She really enjoyed this breakfast.

Ashley was.

By the way, Mickey shaped waffles are just regular waff regular shitty waffles, but shaped like mickey.

Having the egg ax.

So she got the Belgian style waffles.

This came.

It's not true, that's not the only difference.

They're also eight dollars more.

Also, okay, that's true.

Sorry, they are they are more expensive shitty waffles that are shaped like Mickey.

Country potatoes and Mickey shaped waffles.

She really enjoyed this breakfast.

Ashley was having the egg ax.

The egg inck is that she got the Belgians.

She had the you know, she was in the egg ax.

So you know what egg's good for you because it has protein and it's healthy.

Instead what she had, she got a waffle with bacon on it.

That's healthier.

What is the egg inck?

Is that just a rand?

Like do you ever randomly go ooh, well you probably do.

You're probably sick of them, but the sick of them is different than going eggs.

No, I don't have the eggy egg They're not disgusting.

I mean I'll get bored of them.

But that being said, if I go to a breakfast place, I'm still gonna get eggs, because that's why I'm at a breakfast place.

But it's like I've never once been like, oh, I have the egggg today, Like I'm always like eggs.

Yeah, whip up some eggs, bro off, have some eggs right now.

I fucking last night.

It was awesome.

Last couple of nights I've been making like eggs sandwiches about these like really good like Osiago bagels.

And I'm a kind of a half I've been making some fried egg sandwiches, just with some like white American cheese, and then last night with cheddar cheese.

Fucking fire bang that Oh so good, so good.

Don't meats, no meats on that.

No, no meats, no means on that because the macros.

But still, man, it was good.

This came with.

Berries and hickory smoked bacon.

He said it was crispy on the outside, fluffy on the inside, and everything you could want from a waffle.

That's how they describe her.

Everything you could want from a waffle.

Yeahridge skillet.

Keep in mind that the size of the skillet is based on how many peace ordered it.

Well on the ca haha, they looked at you.

They looked at you.

So they had to bring in a wheelbarrow from the back or they had the line of shopping cart with aluminum foil and just dump food in it.

You bring me a specialty skillet.

Yeah, the price is per person.

This skillet came with buttermilk, cheddar biscuits.

And soft Their cheddar biscuits are fire of vin in them.

They are really good.

Sausage gravy with scrambled eggs, country potatoes, hickory smoked bacon, pork, sausage links, and mickey share.

Right, that sounds kind of fire.

I will say this because I've been into this restaurant for dinner and for breakfast.

It's very good food.

There is very good.

Is it even breakfast in Disney?

If you didn't have a Mickey shaped waffle?

Yeah it is, you could have an adult waffle with holes in it.

Katie was able to get the same skillet gluten free.

They just replaced the biscuit with gluten with terrible.

Gluten free bread, which tastes like cardboard.

Do you know how furious I'd be if I worked in a kitchen and I was getting gluten free requests from these fucking slobs.

At seven am?

Hold, Like, again, it's a dude.

If a couple of fucking in shape runners came in and.

They were like, yeah, I don't do gluten, it's like, all right, I understand you got dietary restrictions whatever, but like you're gonna come in here looking the way you do and then tell me that gluten is unacceptable?

How dare you yeah, well, I think it's unacceptable when you sit next to me into an airplane.

But I don't have a choice there.

I can't.

You know what, when I go on Southwest Airlines, I can't.

I can't say that I'm glutton allergy.

I have a glutton allergy, So I can't have a glutt and sit next to me.

How about that?

Do I get that?

Fucking No, I don't get that.

I'll tell you what eat gluten.

Maybe your stomach of hurting, you'll eat less.

There you go, there's your diet.

Plant e gluten toast and.

Made the waffle and sausage gravy gluten free.

The eggs were so oh my god.

They had to make decord.

They had to at seven in the morning because they don't have this made.

You know they don't because it's the very random rand dad at seven in the morning, make a special gluten free gravy for.

Her with children, bro, they're like fucking children.

Which means they gave her regular gravy, told her was gluten free and there's no way that she really has any problems, good and guarantee it.

I really liked that I was able to try a few different things that I might not have normally tried.

What what would you normally try?

Biscuits?

Sorry, you would try that?

Waffles?

Of course I would potatoes.

It's a star vegetable.

Yeah, what did you try that you wouldn't normally try?

I love going to a country breakfast and trying things I never would have come across, like biscuits and grapes.

That's literally what the whole vibe is.

I've never seen a cracker barrel before.

What are these?

What's this?

Square butter bread?

What is this?

Do you call this a wat whaf a wafful wf?

Sorry?

Wow, these rolls are imported from Hawaii?

Why does my pancakes have little divots in it?

Whoa?

They told me it was called a waffle?

Hey?

Can I get my Hey?

Can I get more of that thick sweet brown water?

O my waveful iced TEA gravy syrup, syrup?

I get some brown Can I get some brown water?

Can I get some more brown sweet for my for my lumpy pancakes?

Can I get more brown sweet for my lumpy pancakes?

Please?

But no eggs?

Please?

I have the I have the eck.

Please no eggs, because that has protein and is good for you.

I only want eggs if they're mixing to waffle batter.

The only thing she didn't want was the thing that's like literally a staple of food.

I know, I know everything's based on it, like like literally the thing that you would pray you had in an apocalyptic situation, like thank god we got chickens and we got eggs, won't be.

Fine and sausage gravy.

Are you gonna have the egg ache when the fucking bombs drop, you fat slob?

Seriously, eggs were so good and very creamy.

I really liked that I was able to try a few different things.

I do love that we have these first world problems in America where it's like, oh, you have the eggache, I have gluten issues, and it's like, yeah, okay, when the fucking bombs drop and our electrical grid's gone, this whole picky eater shit's going out the window.

Just so you know, you know what I don't like.

I don't like jerky, and I don't like venison.

But guess what, I'll be eating some of it because it'll be there I not have normally tried.

This is a great breakfast if you're looking to have a little bit of everything.

While the food is good, the atmosphere and the white staff are really what makes this place well.

You guys ruined the atmosphere because you guys are so big you have your own atmosphere.

Yeah, speaking up, I.

Imagine showing up to your restaurant jobs seven in the morning and being like.

Oh, great, we have to create atmosphere for these and be like, listen, if I wanted to feed the hippos, that would work at Animal Kingdom.

What am I fucking doing here?

Dude?

It's like I said earlier, the morning time is for you to come in and put sauces in the cups and get stoned in the walk in and get ready for the day.

Like that's the time of day.

That's why you take the opening shit because you're like, yeah, it's nice, bro.

I put my fucking Apple air pods in.

I'm jamming, bro, I'm just putting ranch and cups.

I go, I get high in the fucking walk in before the noon rush.

Nope, seven am.

We need gluten free gravy and I have the egg ich.

Fuck these people, can you?

That's so terri got I'm mad for them.

You go into a restaurant that early or that late.

I always try to be very very like cool with them, like if they're like, yeah, kitchen's clothes, and soon I'll be like, hey, whatever you got, Like what do you got that you don't have to turn on?

Something like if you clean the grill, you don't have to do the grill if the fryers are still on, what you got to I don't.

Know if I'm trying to be a PA took a move to make their life feet Do you have a sandwich?

That's usually easy piece.

I always straight up ask him what would be the fucking easiest way for you to give me food right now?

You don't have to turn the grill back on if the fryers are off whatever, And nine times out of ten, the fryers are the last thing a restaurant turn off, so they usually have those going.

So you can usually be like, all right, can you throw some fucking wings in for me real fast?

And then I will leave you alone.

I will take them to go if I have to.

You might just end up with a little more than you bargained for.

Oh, cass to case adeas are always a go to if you want to get a fucking if you don't want to piss off the kitchen staff.

And you're like, I don't care, man, put some cheese in a thirtia, I'll fucking I'll notch on the.

I mean breakfast.

Well, I'm sorry that you hate them, because I have another one, dick.

Unfortunate for you that you hate them.

These other plus sized park hoppers they are plus size best friends from Massachusetts who go to Disney World every single month.

Someone, what a bunch of fucking losers.

They posted this on their page.

Is this David talking about the hippos?

Hold on?

They posted this on their page.

I'm not kidding me.

Afan didn't make this.

This is you.

Go to their TikTok.

Oh my god, oh my god, you're whales.

You can't say you're not.

Now David Attenborough is talking over you.

That's why I was like, I love that they chose that voice.

The plus I park hoppers they are five plus size best friends from Massachusetts who go to Disney World every single.

More like taxachusets.

Fucking fucking gottam dude.

Destroyed the park sloppers who you pay too much?

Taxes losers?

Idiot?

Oh sorry, every other month?

Thank you.

They make videos sharing all of their best tips and tricks, like how they're able to stay it's so many of the DeLux resorts at Walt Disney World.

The truth is the.

Wrong script.

She's writing it too, She's writing it as Stephanie's the halt one, and you're like, whoa wait a minute.

The other ones are like, what the fuck?

These disgusting pigs are jealous of stephan and.

Oh my god, oh my god, this is even worse.

I think I know what this is.

Guys.

This is them doing a commercial or Disney's Vacation Club.

I'm not kidding.

Watch Walt Disney World.

The truth is they won the lottery.

Whoops, wrong script.

They're able to save money when staying at day Lux's DVC resorts by renting points through David's Vacation Club Rental.

They're getting paid by David's Vacation Club Rentals.

Oh my fucking guy.

People, how it works.

This guy thinks he knows everything.

I don't like him explaining this guy thinks he knows everything.

I know why Stephanie talks though, because she's the only one that actually can.

I mean, you're picking that up right, Like.

Yeah, no, these other ones are fucking mongoloids, don't.

Mind if I do.

Guests can save fifty on their DVC resort room by looking through David's Vacation Club Rental.

So here's what David's Vacation Club Rental is.

I don't know his specifically, but I'll tell you how these places work.

It's basically hotels dot com, but for Disney no even worse.

David's Vacation Club Rentals is so a lot of people buy like the Disney vacation club places, which are Disney time shares basically, so they have all these time shares and these timeshare people that they can't use the points or can't use them to go out there, like fuck, they gotta let it, so they sublet it.

And then this guy goes and finds people, Now you're gonna eat the cost obviously, but you'll be making some money and staying there.

That's basically people just selling their their time share.

Yeah, and could save even more by booking one of their confirmed reservations.

Wow, that's a huge savings.

I know, right, what's the catch?

Well, I'll tell you what the catch is.

Okay, you're the catch, you fucking yeah, fucking whale.

I'm looking at the catch here, okay, and the cat you would be being caught by a Japanese harpoon.

Okay, So come on, what's the catch?

You're just sorry, Look, I'm really mean, Like I get it, Like I'm trying not to be like I look and I understand.

No, I know, I'm just setting up a joke.

You're not trying at all, just setting up a joke.

I'm not really trying it all.

I'm just trying to set up a joke.

But okay, but let's say that I was trying to be a nicer person.

I'm sorry.

You're right, you have been being you haven't drawn.

Thank you, mercis.

Notice how nice I've been lately.

But every time I look at you, it just fills me with rage.

And it's not Look, I want to say, it's not your fault, but it is your fault because food's delicious, man, I get it.

But now you're just monetizing your gluttony, and that to me is just gross on a moral level, you know, like, how is this different than only fans?

Honestly, how is it different?

You're ruining your fucking body for what so you could stay at the Polynesian resort.

Come on.

Also, it's like I couldn't imagine going there all the time.

Like I would go to before go one time and they'd be like, all right, it was fun.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've never gone on vacation anywhere, got home and been like I want to go right back.

Like usually you get home and you're like, I'm home.

All right.

I was good, but it's nice to be home.

There's no catch.

The reservation is booked on your behalf and can be linked to your my Disney experience app Wait.

See that, black boys, if you're looking for these some available hotties a.

Minute, are you even listening to me?

Black boys?

What is this universal?

It is universe universally they fuck these women.

By the way, when there's a group of women and there's one hundred percent gut ratio for all of them, that's a bad group.

That's a bad group.

Yeah, a group of baddies.

Very well.

Then their chat feature allows you to check availability for your day prior to submitting a request and making a do I'm.

Not going to play anywhere of your commercial?

Done done, fatalling done fat sos.

Get out of here.

You gee it, you go on, you gee it?

All right?

Uh man, there was one that I wanted it.

Okay, hold on, because there's one that I wanted to make sure there it is.

I did not want to miss this one.

This one is fucking okay, Okay, I'll just play it.

I mean, I don't want to even ruin the surprise.

This guy might be one of the Okay.

Well father and Marion County is living after he claims that a neighbor bullied his disabled kids.

Now here's the cat, she says.

The bully is a sixty one year old man.

Yeah, deputy saying, this man timed his sprinklers to go off as those kids in wheelchairs were getting on and off the school bus.

Cool, and it's one of those it's all those disabled school bus that does the wheelchair ramp.

These kids aren't, These aren't like oh, they're just they're like actually dis disabled prety fives.

For re Edinger is joining us line in that neighborhood tonight.

So Marie, this entire fit.

Damn what up girl, Emily got soaked.

If we're calling him a bully, But the Marion County Sheriff's office is calling this guy a criminal.

He wound up charged with multiple charges of aggravated assault on disabled children and aggravated assault on this father.

He also has charges for stalking.

We're going to talk about all of that, but the Marin County Sheriff's Office as the father actually wound up wearing a bathing suit to the bus stop every that's free day, just to make sure he could block his kids from that sprinkler shooting at them.

What a dick.

He was probably mad that the bus was stopping in front of his house.

Yeah.

Sixty one year old Antonio Raman is accused of weaponizing his sprinkler system to shoot water at his neighbour's disabled kids getting on their bus.

School bus driving sprinklers are off.

The late eleven hours, A corporal with the Marion County Sheriff's Office staked out the neighborhood, watching as the school bus pulled up.

Sprinklers are now activated and there are oh wow, a souit as this was premeditated.

As of course, yeah, it's obvious.

He looked on as only the sprinkler's pointing toward the bus turned on and the rest of the yard remained dry.

The water sprayed directly toward Kevin Martin and his children.

I found it shocking and kind of appalling.

Shocking.

I mean, come on, huge kudos to the father of this family.

He had started wearing swim clothes to get his children on the bus so that he could use his body as a shields to protect his kids.

Well, okay, they weren't bullets, like, let's calm down.

It was water left and sprinklers are now often disengaged.

Clearly, not enough time to water your lawn, just enough time to really disturb and distress the family next door as they're trying to just get their children to school.

That wasn't the first time deputies had been out to the house.

In fact, neighbors told me law enforcement is there somewhat often.

Okay, this guy's a fucking has a problem.

Who's that nudent over here?

What's going on here?

I mean, this has been going on for a long time with him.

Why are you leaving?

You know, I started with your neighbor.

That doesn't make no sense to me.

In one case, record chill, I've never met a black guy that talk like that, that didn't have chairs in his garage where he hung out.

Of course, I mean of the time, because I can't smoke weed into house man.

Oh yeah, that's the reason.

But that's what they're doing.

It's always the reason.

It's their weights smoking spot.

But honestly, they're usually really chill.

I'll be honest with you.

They're usually pretty chill.

Man.

Those are pretty cool, and they're usually like they're usually really useful too, because like they'll let you know, like when your package is arriving ship.

Yeah, they're pretty cool.

Kurdchill Raman called to complain about the school boys.

I had a neighbor that used to grab my shit and like fucking like let me know about it.

And he hung out on his porch all day in my whole department, and every once in a while he'd be like, yeah, grab that man, and shit looked expensive.

All the kids are out, let me go get it all right.

Record Chill Raman called to complain about the school.

Bus and the kids like severely to save them the whole.

Deputy suggested he called the school board to get the bus stop changed.

A different incident report mentioned surveillance video allegedly showing Raman yelling at a delivery truck driver who partially blocked his driveway.

Dude, calm down, man, Amazon trucks blocked my driveway off sometimes every day, Like, what are you gonna do about it?

Right?

It happens before going inside to get a gun.

Yeah, I would never get I would never get pissy with my Amazon driver because, for one, he delivers my fucking Amazon packages.

But two he's actually a nice kid.

Yeah, free truck driver who partially blocked his driveway before going inside to get a gun.

Buddy, Buddy, maybe we overreacting a little bit about the Amazon deliveries a little bit.

Maybe it's like a little bit Munds nice fucking nuts.

That incident came up in a ceased and desist Martin sent Ru.

Also, when the Amazon truck stops, he's there for like maybe five minutes at the most.

He had a schedule.

Dude, they're moving on.

In January of last year, where he accused her of it in.

The woods, dude, you want to live in the woods.

Yeah, that's funny.

Go be a fucking Puerto Rican Ted Kazinski for all I care.

Yeah, you know who didn't have to put a sprinkler on the hit retards Ted.

Kazinski threatening and harassing him and his.

All he had to do was mail packages and they weren't filled with water guards.

Children.

I would have been funnier though, against Martin a few months later, accusing him of blocking the driveway.

Wait, so his dad is also only has one leg two.

Meanwhile, the neighborhood h away has a lawsuit against Ramont for covering his driveway with metal spikes and putting up an unappama.

This guy's nuts.

I did try to talk with Raman.

No luck there, he's got a court date coming up.

No, I didn't think that was gonna work.

He told me to fuck off, is what he said.

He said, fuck off?

All right.

Mmmm.

We tried to talk to Rman but uh now our now, our fucking news van.

It's four flat tires.

So what is illegal and unusual?

These discoveries at Detroit Metro Airport.

Bush meat that's meat from rats, bone ba booms and more.

And we got your attention to feds.

Aren't munkying around with this box.

He's Jessica, Jessica.

Listen, we've been covering you for Jessica.

Yeah, Jessa has that last name.

We've been covering for a few years.

Jessica.

You're getting chunkier.

I'm telling you.

We could see it.

Dupe Back is live at the airport.

Jessica, do explain.

I remember you guys, remember at the end of Revenge of the Nerds, when the jocks and the cheerleaders were doing their live show and all the football players were dressed like the cheerleaders.

That's her.

Yeah, yes, she's Ogre.

She looks like yes stan Or Ogre.

Yeah.

We need some contexts here, right, ruper Amy, Oh, this is crazy.

Customs and border protection.

They seize back to back bush meat smugglers here at dtw Now, the first one it was eleven pounds of rodent meat in someone's luggage, and a couple of days later they found fifty two pounds of monkey meat snacked away.

Hey, we have a monkey hold on a second so Detroit, some guys, people that live in Detroit or cannibals.

As pastor Sorry what, Oh that's gross, fate.

I mean, that's a pretty standard reaction.

Honestly, I'm with this guy.

This is the exact reaction you should have.

Yeah, that's gross.

Oh, that's gross.

The faces say it all, Oh, what do you think of that?

That discussed back to back seizures.

Yo, there's a face on that one.

Yeah, it's a.

Monkey bush meat at Detroit Metro Airport in one week.

First eleven pounds of rodent meat in the bags of a passenger coming from Togo.

And what okay, the roaded meat thing, I don't fucking get.

There's plenty of rodents in Detroit.

Just get those.

Why you why are you importing rodents?

This is imported.

This is special imported roads Africa.

That is not appetizing at all.

I would say I do like red meat, though, And next.

To no, no, no, no, you means understand it is not for food consumption.

It is for black magic.

Okay, well that makes sense.

Up the headliner, Customs and Border Protection uncovered Bernie covering fifty two, yes, fifty two pounds of primate meat.

That's a lot of monkey meat.

Hey they have monkey that's a great clip.

My goodness, rules, my goodness.

Passenger claimed it is antelope meat.

But the monkey meat coming from Central Africa, possibly this little guy or the sun tailed monkey.

It looks tasty, Okay, he's trying to be funny.

Gay, No, it looks good.

You'd eat that.

You're kidding, Customs, he's a funny.

Then, Border Protection says primate seizures are very rare.

What's the weirdest thing in your bag right now?

Well, my my handgun.

You're gonna tell me that primates seizures are a rarity in Detroit.

Yeah, see how you're doing.

How you're doing.

You did it first, you started it.

I think that's called forfeit.

Ah.

So I have to tell you, hey, those primates four.

Those primates have a fourth Amendment.

Reich, what's the.

Weirdest thing in your bag?

Probably a tie between the loaded handguns safety off and the ziploc bag full of loose beanie weenies.

We had to ask, what's the craziest thing you've eaten?

The craziest thing I probably ever eaten.

Just fucking hookers pussy one time in Tijuan.

It was gross.

I had a throat.

I might have saw a throat for weeks.

We had to ask, what's the craziest thing you've eaten?

The craziest thing I've probably ever eaten was my wife's meat loaf.

Yo, just Duncan on his wife.

Dude, he was almost there, he almost did the thing.

Wait, let's show the wife.

Let's show the wife right there.

And then he's like, honey, show your meat loaf.

Just the airport.

I just look like show the wife.

But she was like going like, oh, Howard, you you scamp, you piece of garbage.

We actually found someone who's eating monkey.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was at a black strip club.

And uh, what does monkey meat taste like?

Cocoa butterated cocoa butter?

It tastes like have you had a.

Mixed cocoa butter with vics?

Sorry, honestly, it tastes like horse.

Okay, you're saying that, like we have that as a point of reference.

Thank you.

You just named another weird thing that none of us eat.

Honestly, you know what.

It tastes like newborn puppy?

Like what what do you have anything normal to equate it to?

Sir?

How about chicken?

Aymon?

What is it?

A kin?

The chicken?

Really?

The rodent packer and the monkey meat smuggler slap with a three hundred dollars fine each.

The not so funny part.

This kind of has a serious risk of carrying some scary diseases which can wreak havoc humans.

And I know all cultures and customs saying oh I ain't and crying at all.

Times, and it ain't all at all cultures.

I don't want to insult them by their thing, and you ask a blacket from the true Yo, don't think it's a fucking crazy monkey is nasty?

Yeah, that's the reality of what's happening.

Have different foods that they eat, but it's not something that appeals to me.

Yeah, everything appeal to me, fair enough.

This could all be a delicacy somewhere else, but on our unofficial poll here at DTW, it was not a delicacy to these passengers.

Now, Customs and Border Protection says that they find all kinds.

We call her Jessica the slump buster Dupnac.

Jessica.

One am Dunac slump truck Jessica.

Closing time is playing dupenac.

You imagine calling a girl a slump buster to her face, some funck up that would be Yeah, I need this slumpbuster.

I've been in a rut.

Yeah, I'm with this yip break with this yip breaker Jessica Jessica.

Alright, bro, man, your name is fat Like, it's crazy that your name.

It's crazy to me.

You look this one up and down four to six times before you decide.

Yeah, yeah you have to.

I bet, I bet her breasts are perfect, you know what I mean?

There has to be something on her that they're eighty.

Oh god, so that ratio feels like a lot of nipple area.

Oh shit, found some live snails.

Yeah, that's some of these stupid shows are covering terraffs and ship We're covering the real things, monkey meat and huge areolas in fat reporters.

Yeah, it's recently animal skulls, and in most cases it's not malicious.

It's a misunderstanding.

Misunderstanding.

I didn't mean to accidentally bring monkey meat on the plane, Romulus.

You know what I feel, you, bro.

Sometimes I've accidentally brought a vape on a plane.

I didn't even realized I had.

It on me.

You did?

You did it on purpose?

Yeah?

You told me you did.

You do my thing?

When you go, ah, man, I forgot.

I'm I'm rapping like fucking I don't know, Jeffrey, when I'm getting on a plane, I'm flying Delta with some weed and I'm on laand.

With it.

Fox two News and Jess.

That's exactly we were the.

Last Spirit Airlines that we were on.

We wanted to We went to Vegas.

I'm pretty sure the flight attendant said weed.

But but no, but for real, did we were under this one with Marie and and we were going to Vegas and on the on the way there, there was a person on that came on the plane that had undercarry And it wasn't that they had just smoked weed, because I know the difference, they must have had pound because dude, the whole plane smelled like weed, like really like like fucking soul plane.

And then all the flat attend to do was laughing and just spraying fucking It was really funny what I.

Was going to ask you.

In these two cases, they sort of back to back cases.

Did the folks trying to bring this in know that they weren't fitting lost?

The synthesizers calling her calling her Jessica.

Any port in the storm?

Doop neck?

Yeah?

Was to have it?

Were they trying to smuggle it into a Metro airport or did they.

Just have it?

Look, I don't know.

We're Detroit reporters.

Obviously we're all that's left.

Look how old you are?

Look how fat and ugly I am.

I mean, what do you want us to do here?

We're still talking about the monkey mate?

I mean, seriously, we haven't had a car be built here since I don't know nineteen sixty five, So maybe we cut this shit out with the monkey meat.

They're bad because they were coming to visit and.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean to take it out.

And this guy picked me up at the bar at one forty five last night and he told me he loved me, and now he's ghosting me, you know, And I.

Gave it up like right away, yeah, like I didn't even try.

All he said was high to me.

And I said, you want to go back to my place things, and he said no, I'm allergic to six cats.

So then we went back to his place, very specific allergy.

Yeah.

Someone a delicacy gift.

Yeah, interesting gift there.

Jessica Dubnaps looks like somebody who owns birds, but also her house smells like she owns birds.

The case with the rodents, it doesn't sound.

It sounds like it was a misunderstanding.

But in case of those monkeys, if you remember this story, fifty two pounds.

Of that they said it was I was told that the doctor told them not to be jumping on the bed.

So I mean, that's the reporting I'm getting back.

And honestly, we're very but better journalists than you.

Okay, it's just you're a little too ugly to be a reporter because no one's gonna want to tell you anything other than oh my god, cover your face.

Cam Bobena says, funny thing about park sloppers is all the stuff they love was all built by people who are in shape.

That's true.

Mighty Megatron says, you don't need any glide lube with them, just squeeze a pimple on their beck.

Okay, I'm not gonna.

Read that's disgusting.

Genocide circus roadent packers and monkey meat smugglers sound like Batman villains that were running an underground bestiality porn empire.

Batman the animated series, though to be specific, toy be Batman the animated series.

Bad Guys.

This is Orlando Airport, which is really quick to get that a nice way, but it's Southwest, not Spirit blows your mind right, sounds very Puerto Rican to me.

Crazy moments caught on camera at Orlando International Airport.

A woman kicks and.

She's at the Southwest terminal, which is honestly the nicer terminal because it has a little restaurant with the bar that we usually chill out when we take Southwest.

Airlines worker then smashes a computer screen.

And well there you go.

Now you're never gonna fly to Orlando again.

Good thing it's not a major hub with a bunch of layovers there.

Oh, she's facing also, never gonna fly Southwest again out of any airport.

He's back in Illinois at home right now after her travel troubles boiled over here in Orle the Indian End and Kelsey Karen Joints just lying from Oia tonight.

So Kelsey passengers have a lot to say about this.

Yeah, I'm at the airport.

Fine.

I just want to point something out.

Even Florida slump breakers are hotter, right, this is our slump breaker.

By the way, I want to point out the difference between a Detroit slump breaker and a Florida slump breaker.

You know, same build, definitely more attractive.

Well yeah, Grass Reports says that passengers were clapping and cheering as that woman that you just mentioned was escorted away by Orlando police officers.

Now she's facing.

Charges karate kick screen break.

This viral video recorded by a passenger showing a woman who police say is Sala Meete Villas Rodriguez.

Kicking yep, Puerto ri Rican.

This gate agent in a pink shirt.

She pushed, kicked Jim Gaffigan.

Oh that's a soul, and.

Then punch this computer monitor at a Southwest Airlines gate at Orlando International Airport.

Yeah, whoa what is she doing?

But it doesn't stop there.

You play, you play to fly, to play to fly.

She then allegedly punches another computer monitor at.

The gate agent's Yes, people have gotten real crazy.

That's wild.

I'm being you walk into places they're just doing their jobs.

Can't take it out on everybody.

It just makes me sad.

There's something about air travel that stresses people out.

But that's not a.

There's an okay, guy who's too much into college basketball, A reason to commit guy wearing a tie and a hat.

That's weird.

Hey did you just get drafted?

I need to understand why your dressed like this, sir.

It really does feel like a draft outfit.

Yeah.

Physical violence.

Thankfully, no other passengers were injured.

According to an arrest report, Orlando police say Valles Rodriguez was upset when it came time to board a flight.

Vals was asked to leave the jet bridge and was blocking the door.

To prevent access to the plane.

It was after this that she became irate.

Police say, how might an outburst like this impact other passengers?

Well, that's what we call a contagion effect.

This could have been far worse than what it actually was.

Instead of kicking machinery, she could have been kicking people, beating people up airports.

So she didn't do that though, I mean, I get it, But then, wheah, we're gonna.

Sit around now for twenty minutes discussing what she could have done.

This well, could have solved their problems.

Honestly, was just going to revenge of assist at locals dot com or Patreon dot compash.

We're not sorrying get premium entertainment for seven dollars a month, get every Wednesday show, and have a Friday show.

That's what I would do.

I only have one more comment about this story.

Sure you have to be a special kind of fucking loser to stop at Orlando Airport to talk.

To the fucking news.

I would that airport is a nightmare and the only thing you should be trying to do is get into it and get the fuck out of it.

Could you imagine if you do news stopped us like after a flight was like, what do you guys think of It would be like.

Leave me the fuck alone right now?

Well, you know what, we could do one more of these.

Let's go ahead and do it.

What do you say I think we should?

This actually could not be completed.

Oh you got the good one though, right, yeah, but this is another good one.

There was two good ones.

Well we don't get two good ones.

We only get one good one.

Okay, well we got at least one good one.

Lucky we get that.

Patreon dot comptesh, we're not sorry.

Revenge of the sist at locals dot com.

Seven bucks a month.

Sign up over there if you can.

We'd appreciated.

Nightwave tonight at ten pm Nightwave Radio be there.

Pass you will be streaming next Yeah, dog Virgie, yeah, always, all the time, all the ways, Seni Penis.

Virgie loves Gibson's.

I guess I don't even care anymore.

Man mm hm