Dean: [00:00:00] I'm Dean Spade. For 25 years I've been working in movements for queer and trans liberation and to end police, prisons, immigration enforcement, and war. My new podcast, Love in a F*cked Up World, focuses on how we can build and sustain strong relationships, because our connections to each other are the building blocks of all of our movements.

Weyam: Why is it that we lose our principles in relationships and how do we not? 

Dean: I talk to people all the time dealing with conflicts, with friends, lovers, roommates, collaborators, trying to sort out things like how to give and receive direct feedback, how to deescalate a crush, and how to deal with strong feelings like jealousy and possessiveness.

adrienne: What I have learned in my own life, the most harm has come when I have been succumbing to a possession based relationship. And the most liberation has come when I have been like, you are your own person, and I am my own person. 

Dean: In Love in a F*cked Up World. I spend time talking with people who've inspired my thinking on these topics, like Prentis Hemphill, Mariame Kaba, Morgan Bassichis, and [00:01:00] adrienne maree brown.

Mariame: Thanks for having me on the podcast. I'm curious and I'm interested. 

Tourmaline: I'm excited to really get into the deep dive.

Dean: I also offer concrete tools we can use to address the problems that people ask me about the most. 

Weyam: These grounding reminders. One of the ones that I loved was, "The strong feelings I am having will pass. I don't have to act on them. I can make choices to fuel them or dampen them. I have a choice here." I just want a tattoo, like, "I have a choice here" on my forearm. 

Dean: Over the next few months, I'll be releasing a new episode of Love in a F*cked Up World every two weeks.

You can find the show wherever you get your podcasts. I hope you'll listen, share with your friends, and subscribe. 

Morgan: Do you hear the chimes?

Dean: I do.

Morgan: And I, that's my politics. Just name what's there and there's chimes. Okay? 

Dean: It feels so good.

Morgan: So I just wanna say, the chimes in the room. 

Dean: Yeah. Calling it in.