Hi, everyone, Tony from Hack the movies here and today we're talking about hackers.

Is this a cyberpunk masterpiece or is it just kind of hacky?

Let's find out Today on Hack Movies, we're talking talk talk, talking about tapes.

Do we have hacker names?

Whoa paradox paradox?

That's good?

I'm hack master p Nice Sama Crypt.

Hey man, I'm just spitball.

Did you not watch the same movie as me?

I think that's fine.

You What about you and Ramone in this movie?

Crash Crashing, Crashing, crypt Atomic crypt, Plasma Plasma crypt, Yes, that's actually.

Plasma te plasma t Okay, okay, okay, okay, I'm leaving that all in in plassy here.

So I'm a hack master p here with Tim?

But who is also?

What was it?

Plasma te plasma tea and paradox paradox real quick paradox.

Since this is the main channel, who are you actually?

Can you properly introduce yourself for real?

Yes?

Allow me to uh transform.

Allow myself to introduce myself.

I'm Mike from Taste from the Crypt.

Uh kind of assist Tim with his enterprise and all that wheelman.

Nice and in part time you're a hacker.

That's right to switch back to paradox.

Switch back to paradox.

We're so back the government hates me.

So yes, hackers, when this movie come out again?

Yeah?

Hackers from nineteen ninety five thirtieth Anniversary.

Oh wait, yeah, Okay, by the time this comes out, I'll be getting ready for the uh the what we call it, mahone and drive in Hackers punk rock flea marks, cyber punk rock flea market.

I don't think they called it that, but.

They should hack the drive in.

Yeah, hack the driver So I'll be the hackers event at the mahone and drive in.

You go, uh so you definitely want to come out to that.

Why am I suddenly getting ten thousand text messages as there.

He's being hacked?

Oh?

Man, the government saw.

Let's let's go do it.

Was just it was just one of those things.

I must have not had signal and then it came back, and then I just got every text message at once, had.

Them off at the past or is it Fisher Stevens?

Is it Fisher Like?

Is it Angelina Jolie's bombs?

Oh?

I can't wait to talk about that.

Yes, Hackers from nineteen ninety five, during the height of like the whole cyberpunk craze.

You had your Johnny Mnomonics, you.

Had your lawnmower Man, you had your lawnmower mans.

You had your lawnmower man too.

Joe war or or Beyond Cyberspace, whichever one.

Reboot, reboot, I'll include it.

I'll include it.

Uh.

You know this we're living in a post William Gibson world, which he gets referenced in this.

Uh.

Yeah, it was a very fun time for sci fi doing all this.

Cyberpunk stuff and how computers were kind of exploding everywhere.

Uh.

The writer of this movie actually like hung out with hackers and learned like some of their tricks and what they would do.

Hacking was like a big thing.

Uh, that whole stuff with them doing like the dial tones for the phone.

That was like real shit.

Yeah, that people were getting away with and they were like, all you gotta crack down on this.

We're gonna start making some new lull at and t was like, So they made a movie about it.

They did so realistic direct it by I forgot to write it in my notes, but luckily I have another movie from him, iron I A I n Iron, iron Ion, iron softly, who would end up doing K Packs?

Sam, I know you love K Pax.

You're a K PACKI K pac Maniam we rewind iron softly, iron softly.

I am softly iron, But.

Yeah, he would, Wow, he would end up doing K Pax.

Your favorite movie?

That looks like the lead singer of smash Mouth.

Oh that's Kevin Spacey.

With a chin strap.

I don't have my glasses on.

And man, somebody should have told him the world who's gonna roll him?

I think I think he also did.

Uh.

I think he also did the.

Skeleton Key horror movie.

Have you ever seen that?

One?

Iron softly to that.

This is a This is a very data movie, which is funny.

So what it came on nineteen ninety five?

The movie I forget when it takes place.

I don't know.

Man, it takes place in ninety four, it's just a year before because they they type in the date and.

Some okay, okay, okay, yeah, oh yeah that's right because it starts off in nineteen eighty eight.

So yeah, very very dated movie.

It's very product of it.

It's like it's nineties, but it's where they thought the nineties was gonna go.

It is so it is criminally nineties.

It is.

It is quintessentially, it's like.

We rollerbladed here.

Yeah, oh god, just because what did I talk about rollerblading in recently where I was like, I thought rollerblading was gonna be a way bigger.

Thing, and then it just was somebody made one gay joke and then and then and we threw him into the ocean.

Everybody, there's just there's just a why did it's that guy?

I know, rollerblading is kind of sick.

My mom rollerbladed.

I'm like, I can't wait to be older and roller blade everywhere.

Movie Brink.

Yeah.

I thought it was gonna be really good.

Well now it's just kind of like I go to a roller rank of like, it's not the same thing.

I miss rollerblading with my friends.

I thought we were all gonna be And now I'm watching, as I told you, guys, the twenty four to seven Baywatch channel and they're rollerblading all the time, saying bring it back airborne, let's do airborne next.

I love airborne.

You know what I was like, I bet you Tim fucking loves airboard.

You're like, is it a piece of shit?

With Jack Black in the nineties.

Yeah, it's my favorite.

Seth Green being a piece of shit too.

I love it.

Yeah, I don't remember when I first saw this.

This is another one where it was like it just felt like it was always on.

Uh, I would catch it all the time.

I love revisiting it every few years, okay, because I usually forget a lot of it and it's always a pleasant surprise when I watch again.

How do you feel about hackers before we get into this exposure to it.

This is gonna be so fucking like this is It's gonna be so surprising.

No, we both just watched this for the first time this morning.

How did you miss this?

I mean, to be honest, I've kind of like known of its existence.

I've seen like clips and like, you know, important bits from it and like the iconic lines, but I've never like sat down and watched it from.

Ste This is one of those movies that was pushed on me.

And you know when something's pushed on.

You and you're just kind of like no, like Harry Potter or Arthur apparently, if I don't know, when are you comes down?

The Patriot Stand up for Arthur, Justice for Arthur everybody out there.

It was really trying to gaslight us into Arthur Fandomtreon crowd.

He showed every day when you're walking down the street, he showed, show them roller blades on your feet?

Who showed us your roll thirty four Arthur Art.

I thought that was really bad.

I can't even show you my ass tattoo.

Anyway.

I can't believe you guys didn't see it.

I feel like you would love this one.

Did you love it?

Yeah?

It's one of those.

And that's the thing.

It's one of those movies that like you just keep seeing and like like in like even in my world, people make t shirts for it, like it's everywhere.

I was always trying to put it off, but I'm glad today.

Was You're gonna be the biggest hackers fan.

I know it, and I know.

So let's get into this wonderful film.

Uh.

It starts off with the cops storming someone's house and they arrest this criminal and we get to see the courtroom.

We hear about all the horrible he like hacked thousands of computers.

Yes, he caused a whole bunch of shit.

And it turns out it's like an eight year old kid.

Like hacker zero cool, zero cool.

I couldn't believe it when they showed like a child, I was like, it's gonna be one of those Prodigy type shit.

Shit.

Who plays him again?

Sorry?

What the child?

Yeah?

No, no, no, no no, who plays just the character?

Oh yeah, I forgot to write his name?

Dade.

That's the character's name, which is.

Was Johnny Lee Miller adds up playing him Wait to day was Date?

I have Dave in my notes.

I didn't realize this.

Dave was actually Dad, you know Dave.

Yeah, this is fucking hackers, Tony.

His name is Dade.

Johnny Lee Miller, who's nineties Johnny Lee Miller, who fans hacked the movies will know was apparently, according to this in Tracula two thousand, fuck yeah we love Dracula off the top I had.

I can't remember who he played.

I think one of the main characters, but whatever.

One of the guys on the cover.

I'm sure.

Sure.

Yeah.

So he's told he's not allowed to touch a computer or a touchtne telephone until until seven years.

He's like, he's eighteen, Yeah, totally turns eighteen because yeah, because he used to be able to fuck things up with Touchtowe telephones say yeah, he's not allowed to do any of that, but we flash forward him and his mom are coming to New York and Halseion on and on by Orbital plays.

Now, I'm used to this playing at the end of movies like Mortal Kombat.

Do you know the other movie?

It plays at the end of Blade.

I don't know, Mean Girls.

I say Blade for everything because I just picture you in the corner doing the pose.

I showed someone that recently.

I showed a lady that recently, and I'm like, it's really gonna gauge how well this goes.

I'm gonna show this video of me looking like a fucking psychoa.

Yellow lady.

Your face yeah, plays at the end of Mortal Kombat and the end of Mean Girl.

I rewatched Mean Girls last year when that terrible musical version came out, and I'm like, I need to watch the original and wash the taste out of my mouth of how bad that was.

And I'm like, that's weird.

The two very different movies both end with the song.

This one broke new ground.

And started with the song, so that means it's possible.

In nineteen ninety five.

You could have went to see Mortal Kombat in one theater, fucked out, went into Hacker.

Was just like, it's that song again.

I know that song, test your mite.

I love that song.

I get high I candy definition of a Tony song.

Yeah, but yeah, he's uh coming into the city and I love that the city trans like transforms into like a circuit space.

You see all the fun.

Dude, what a fuck?

It really is what people said thought?

Yeah, it really.

We talked a lot about lawn moment, like what people thought computers were and what they could do, and this is this is this is this ship.

It really is.

We would not be confused if random bees showed up in this.

We'll be like, yep, that's just the thing hackers can do.

I guess the first day there, he calls into a TV network and I love that he says what he's doing to his mom, but he's saying it's sarcastically, so she doesn't believe him.

But he's honest.

So again, I'm taking over a TV station.

So he calls into a TV station, he tricks security guard.

It's like, yeah, give him modem numbers or something.

Yeah, can you give me that modem number because back then, what did they know?

They're like, uh yeah, and he just starts taking over the studio so he can play different tapes on the network because apparently he doesn't like the one show here where the guy says so called American Indians, Latinos and blacks come from a genetically inferior stuck, Did I just why did I just read that line?

Holy ship?

No one clipped that.

Fuck?

Uh what were you gonna say?

Do you want to read then think that that guy is that mister Nasty VHS fest?

You know what's weird?

I was about to say, don't ruin the reputation of mister Nasty.

That is literally.

He's made mad cameos and a bunch of movies.

I think it's it even sounds like him, but you know, not like him, but it's not him.

Is mister Nasty still with us?

I know he went to a VHS fest recently.

Yeah, and he started singing him, so maybe.

He's remember that.

Yeah, that was so incredible, that was amazing.

Well, Tim, this is how you tested.

Okay, go up to mister Nasty and say Indians, Latinos and blacks come from a genetically and it'll be like that's my life from hacking, or he's gonna be like or he's gonna be like I agree, and you're like, whoa the perfect test?

Yeah.

For whatever reason, Day doesn't like this guy show.

So he wants to put like old episodes of the Hours.

But there's another hacker watching him.

What was it Crash and Burn?

Wait, no, no, Acid Burn, ascid Bird.

He's crash over he was about to put he was about yeah, cass yeah, cast override?

Is it ride or drive?

Crash over crash.

Override, crash crash like crash.

Their names are fucking stupid.

That realized out there.

I can't join it, I can't hack.

I have an old monitoring.

So Crash is being yelled at online by acid Burn and they start like warring over who puts the tapes into play.

On dueling.

Dueling hackers, that's like a that's like a big theme throughout the whole thing.

They're always dueling.

The next day, after meeting them, Dade tells his mom that he is a virgin.

Yeah, why was that?

More?

She was like grilling him for possibly.

Breaking You're just cool with your mom like that.

I guess she.

Realizes that he hooked up to the internet, or she's like, God, damn it.

You hooked up to the phone line.

We're gonna get in trouble.

Yeah.

Uh.

And he's mad that he had to leave town in his senior year.

No, yeah, moved to New York.

What a shame.

They're like, we had this tell the house to move to New York.

And it's funny, like living in the modern day.

I'm like, New York's fucking expensive, right, you move to New York and you're not living in a shithole?

What the fuck?

I thought it was some kind of witness protection program.

Yeah, yeah, I did too.

Actually, the data has disappeared.

During the courtroom, they said, you owe forty five thousand dollars.

Dad goes, oh, and you never see that data again.

So yeah, I have to keep saying Dad because he's Dave in all my notes now.

Uh So, yeah, he's upset.

He goes to school, he meets Kate, and as soon as he sees her, he has like a weird music video style hallucination of other people making out and ship.

It's very it's very music video nineties.

It's very like, Yes, there are a lot of movies that were doing that with tank Girls a big one.

Uh yeah really yes, yeah, yes, really creative time with like just they were trying some experimental Yeah, the Wild West Hackers really was.

The Wild West was right.

He learns that there's an Olympic pool on the roof.

Yeah, and he goes up there and he gets caught with a bunch of freshmen.

Literally, what a trick in the book, I know.

Come on, Rain looks like, yeah, what an asshole she was.

He wants to get revenge, so he's looking her up on the school system and he's being spied on by Ramone, who's totally straight, nothing gay about him at all except for maybe his clothes.

Uh leopard print on what was that link?

Leopard print?

Yeah, yeah, and he's criticized.

The funny thing is he's criticizing the other guy's wardrobe and it's like, promone, you don't have throwing stones right now, just to.

Go off that the fucking stylist in this movie, they're wearing like dirt, like uniforms, motorcycle jackets.

I will have multiple notes about what people are wearing.

Okay, it's insane.

So yeah, Ramon notices him doing some hacking stuff, so he lets him know that he is also a hacker phantom freak fantom.

That's a good one.

That's spelled p.

H of course, of course.

Uh.

And then Joey is there and he really wants to be like a cool hacker guy, but he's just not He's just not cool.

Let's to bring it on, guy, right, Yeah.

I can't watch bringing on?

How the fuck am I supposed to?

That's the one, the one who smokes siggs, the little guy who smokes siggs like constantly.

Also, you have a twelve year old who smokes SIGs in that movie.

You know, everybody's smoking SIGs, like like Pierce Brosen and londar Man, they are chain smoking.

You could do that.

Back then we talked about remember Jurassic Park has Sam Jackson smoking over the.

Store everybody every other There's not that scenehere.

There's no SIGs.

We should have been smoking this whole time.

I don't smoke, so it would have been weird for.

Me, but we should have been smoking for the just for the aesthetically.

Yeah, at least, look, you know, if we ever do like, uh, I know, what's his face was also in Train Spotting, maybe we could do heroin or something.

We'll do we'll get Yeah.

So Joey really wants to be a hacker, but he's like too new to it.

Doesn't even have a name yet.

He doesn't have like our cool name, not like what was it Paradox and Plasma tis plasmidy and hack Masterpiece.

Yeah, we're the coolest guys.

We would walk into that school like, hey, what's up, and they would say, you met here in your thirties.

Family feature kids.

We don't have dirty rock jokes.

Hello, fellow kids.

Okay.

So they're walking around at night and we can see Matthew Lillard's what was his name, Emmanuel, but his name was serial serial killer and he's talking about all famous actors who died on their own vombit.

He threw my boy Blushi in there that.

Actually watch that.

That's how I'm gonna go.

That's how I'm gonna go.

I'm just gonna choke in my own vomit.

Okay, I almost said that one night when I got that virus.

Remember that, I was afraid I was gonna get that.

I like, I like message it right away.

I'm like, I know I was next to you.

Please get something at least help.

Damn.

I'm like I might give you something.

I'm so sorry.

See they meet Matthew Lillard.

They go to a hacker club and they got big arcade.

Cabinets and an indoor skating rink.

And I thought, fucking this Ninja Turtles.

There was like a couple other ones.

I thought these were gonna be things when I got older.

Yes, skate park slash arcade slash like la I underground layers.

Never saw any of this ship.

And also they were product placing what PlayStation in White Belt.

I definitely saw that they were playing.

Definitely saw a PlayStation sigde.

PlayStation symbol on that game that he beat Angelina and jan Maybe it was weird.

I was not expecting it.

Well, she's the best at that game, apparently not until.

Until until Dade comes along and beats her score.

She is not a fan of him beating her score.

Enemy for life, You just beat her.

She's like, I'm just gonna go make out with my make out with Curtis.

Curtis Dude, Curtis du dude scored the Ultimate gigs, Like, yo, your job is to just like make out with Angelina, bitch.

Sorry sorry, sorry, one second I realized I never changed the sun from uh Jeff the hackers.

Fuck?

Oh no, keep keep talking, keep making fun of Curtis.

Yeah, Curtis has to do make out with Angelina and Joey.

And be like, is that a computer?

Yo?

He literally doesn't know ship about fun about is sitting on his motorcycle and making out with Angelina Joli, probably with her tits out.

What a fucking ass.

I know he was ahead of the game.

Ladies shouldn't be on the computer, Okay, you know they get Twitter accounts.

They censor all my funny friend boys.

Boys bleeding into September.

We love this.

We're going to do boysier.

It's fixed now.

It's hackers now.

It's always been hackers.

It's never Wait.

We just have to sign.

We hacked to sign and efficient.

Tony, get your damn laptop.

We need to be backing.

I don't have my notes.

Messle, I'll let you do the keyboard, bitch, all right, Curtis making out with her, They dry away, Curtis comes back later and then disappears with the whole movie.

We never learned anything more about it.

Dude, he has like he two minutes of screen time in like a minute fifty is him?

Make it out with Angels.

Yeah, and that was before she was like super popular.

She was just John Voyd's daughter at that show.

These this guy Dade cannot stop hacking.

He was just at a hacker club.

He goes home, He's like, I'm gonna hack some fucking more.

He hacks the schools sprinkler system to go off at a specific time to drench everyone.

Really just to get back at her, but he's really fucking over everyone.

What a cool guy, w Dade.

Oh.

If she comes out soide, he's like, oh, did you.

Find the pool?

The pool is leaking.

Slam slammed.

So then we're at some like literature class or something.

They have to put quotes from famous authors, and Kate does one from.

Her mom gave men brains larger than dogs so they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Because her mom is like a man hating feminist author, And it was like something about dogs.

I didn't listen.

I was like, so you see that fucking bah.

Blah blah blah blah blah.

No, come back to cyber space.

Did you Did you see the font too that she like drew in chalk, Like yeah.

Wednesday Adam, How did it take you to write that?

Yeah, and I have it here.

What the fuck is Matthew Lillard wearing?

He's got the angel tea on, but then he's got like some like straps coming out of this crouch.

I don't know what they're attached to.

Yeah, so Dade had to be in that class.

But then Emmanuel was just bear, just there and then showed out.

He's like, this isn't wood shop?

Woodshop again.

It all comes back to.

Wood shop, the coolest class that they took away from.

Us, God School.

Yeah, well I'm now learning that Catholic School is God's school.

I didn't God God School.

No no arts and crafts, no wood shop, even though I had art classes mine.

You didn't get to build a major.

You didn't get to build an arc, didn't get to build a donkey, no trojan horses.

So I gotta keep going here.

The hackers gather around and talk hackers stuff.

Yeah, hey, what's up, Tim?

You like those gigabytes in the mainframe m.

P three straight terabytes?

Dude?

Whoa I was gonna I was gonna hack some RAM into my dusk.

I'm trying to double my RAM even higher power than a Pennium large drives.

This is really what every computer thing sounded like in the nineties.

In order to be elite, you need to do a righteous hat shit, and Joey really wants to do a righteous hack.

And one of the ways that you do a righteous hack is if you hack into a Gibson computer.

Go back and watch our Johnny Knaemonic episode.

William Gibson a famous cyberpunk sci fi author.

Actually, you know I love Alien three.

He does on Patreon.

I've done multiple videos on Alien three, but on Patreon with Alien Theory, I covered the unproduced William Gibson script for Alien three, which is now an audio drama and audible and they made it a comic book.

So if you hate Alien three, the real one because you're an idiot, uh, you have an alternative virgin in the William Gibson's thanks to It's not good.

It's actually really shit, it's actually really fat.

It's not I don't know why people like it.

So it's good to have options.

Rip Ripley's in a coma the whole time because they thought Sigourney Weaver wouldn't want to come back, like so we can get a cameo for if we put her in a coma and everyone who is sad that Newt dies in it.

They're like Newts there for like the first act and then she's like, all right, I'm gonna go home.

Now to Earth.

It's like, what the fuck is the script?

That sounds terrible?

It's just Hicks and Bishop who I guess they give him a new body.

It's like, what the fuck is this?

Anyway?

Learn more at patreon dot com slash Hacked the Movie You go, there, you go.

They're signing up right now for ten dollars.

Tier annual subscriptions and actually, real quick, you have a Patreon too, right, we'll do an early plug here.

Yeah, we got a crick Vidio Rentals has a Patreon.

We have some content on there with Tony.

We have some VHS content.

We have all kinds of great stuff.

So make sure to sign up for the video Patreon as well as the Hack the Movies.

Yeah, sign up for both right now.

Do it now.

It's gonna be the most obnoxious episode to listen to it.

Joey hacks it to the computer and Pendulette is there.

Dude, I'm like, you know this not at all?

He was like, is that fucking Pendulet.

Just so random.

And they call Fisher Stevens who plays Eugene, but he doesn't like that name.

He likes being called the Plague.

Yeah, dude, I the Plague is disgustingly not cool.

It's so cool, you know, speaking of people who aren't Indian and played Indians, Fisher Stevens.

In Short Circuit one and two.

Yeah, we brought that up.

Yeah, mister Johnny five.

Also, I have five times double gulf on Short Circuit two over Short Circuit one.

But that's just me.

You know, I haven't watched either in a while.

I used to think I think Short Circuit two played more.

Okay, so maybe not.

Maybe at the top of my head that's where I would lean toward.

But I haven't watched either of them in a very long time.

I do like the mahone and driving.

There's now a short circuit Johnny five milbox.

I thought that was that the guy the kid.

Build it or something shout out to that.

Yeah, so we should come back for short circuit.

Oh dude, short circuit.

I mean, I'm down.

I need to do short Circuit too.

Let's both, I guess fuck it, let's do both, Okay, we'll see it anyway.

Back to this movie, so yeah, the Pendulan's like the plague.

Someone's hacking into our main frame.

And then that motherfucker comes in on a skateboard.

Skateboards that's so cool.

The entire movie Homie is just rolling around.

On a skateboards survive, but roller blades didn't.

Skateboards were still around, there's still skateboard.

The gay jokes, Tony.

What, I just don't know why rollerblades were gay.

It's just I don't know either do.

But somebody made a joke and everybody.

Was like, dude.

I literally went rollerblade in the other day and posted it and got so many like r U g A y messages?

Are you no very ungay and still like to rollerblade?

Sorry, our haters, our gay audience is down liking.

We love the gays.

I love you just for my views.

Can you just say you are gay?

Very Look at that mustache, a lot of.

Confidence rocking that mustache, going I'm not gay around in the mustache er gay?

What does everybody thing.

Meet?

To the haters?

Right now?

You know, if you want me to say, up with Joey cut the good word, all right?

So, uh, he's skateboard again.

He's trying to counter Joey, going through all the systems, but he finds like a garbage file, pulling off off the garbage file, which normally wouldn't be a problem, but we learned that there's something shady in the garbage file.

I love that they think like they I think they think they stopped him, but really was his mom turning off the computer.

So he's able to get some of whatever was on the garbage file on a floppy disk.

Then he stashed half floppy.

That he stashes in his vent next to his porn he stashesn't there.

The next day we learned that no one knows who Ascid burn is, and the boys meet Lord Nikon, who was one of the bad guys in The Crow.

Yes, yeah, he was the guy the Crow actually gets his jacket from, which is kind of sick.

Yes, reviewed all the Crows and I even compiled them one mega review.

You didn't have to do the Crows sound.

I just wanted to go.

That was good.

That was actually pretty good.

One watched The Crow on Hack the Movies.

They watch a show called Hack the Planet.

That's all we're trying to do.

Host it by Razor and Blade.

That's your ship?

Yeah, shp, what was it in.

Dodgeball Blade Blazer Blaze?

That's it.

They were teaching you how to hack payphones.

Yes, I assume this is like a rogue broadcast.

Almost like it's almost like a Bill Ny the Science Guy, but for hackers and like yeah, quasi vigilanties.

Yes, and they're wearing Gisha makeup the whole time.

Given a little Channel sixty two, uhfo.

It really this could have definitely aired on Channel sixty.

Uh.

You know there's some dream sequences in this.

Do you think Dade should have had a whole music video sequence?

It would have worked in the in the like the Beverly hillbilly style, Like.

Yeah, Gi, there you go.

Wait if this also did the same parent the same exact par or what if they just worked in the weird al video he dreaming about weird Al.

Y.

We just filmed U HF by the way, and we had to sign.

So we had to sign.

We fixed it.

You know.

It was sad earlier when I was like bringing out the letters, I'm like, is there a sea in hack?

And I really I really like Froze and I'm like, did I just fucking asked myself.

Really sat there and I'm like, I just asked.

I just asked myself if there's a C AND hack, That's what you know when I've just been doing a lot of things, so I have to asked simple questions that.

I should really hack the spelling.

You know.

Later on I'm gonna be like start and and Tony.

Joey gets arrested, he does, his computer gets confiscated, and then I have it here there's a secret agent guy and I have another note.

Holy shit, is the other secret service guy Mark Anthony?

It is no way, Yes, that was Mark Antony.

How did I not see that?

Yeah, it's Mark Anthony, whoa famous singer, Mark Anthony.

And then Lorraine Brocco from The Sopranos shows up as Margo, who's like one of the higher ups at the E M Square.

I kept one of them called EMC Square, EM Square something mineral.

It stands for something mineral.

Plague tells her that there was this virus called the Da Vinci virus, and he thinks that they're gonna use it.

They're gonna use Joey and his friends are gonna use this virus to take over a bunch of ships which are all run by computers, and I have it here.

This is the third movie I've reviewed this year where a actually probably fourth uh where computers being in charge of ships came into play.

One was Superman three Gus, which your prior was using computers to throw off the ship's navigations and uh fucking uh mission impossible, rogue name or no mission impossible, dead reckoning one and two AI was taking control of ships and I was just like, how does this keep happening?

How did you get coming up?

I also like how they specifically stated, like these ships were recently upgraded, there is no manual control.

What fucking idiot came up with that?

It's so stupid.

There be some manual control.

And like the like the Da Vinci like virus just looks like job, Yeah, it really does.

CGI.

I'm just like, wait, what the guys being like He's like, MoMA me, So he's like, yeah, this is what those kids are trying to do it or our thing.

And then after the meeting he gets Margo aside, He's like, okay, so I made Da Vinci and I hid it in the garbage file.

So he downloaded enough us we've got to make sure.

He's like actually, He's like, actually this could work out because we could blame the Da Vinci code on them and still use it for ourselves.

And she's like, what the fuck you didn't clue me in on this plan.

That's like a really bad idea.

She was just like, okay, yeah, i'll ride.

I don't know about computers, she.

Really does, so, yeah, then a plague is in VR.

He's probably playing with job on.

The other end his omni directional treadmill.

Yeah, whoa oh yeah.

So he kind of looks into people Joey knows, and he finds about about Date, who has a record, so obviously that's like the first person he would go to.

Uh.

He asked them to help him find this virus and this disc Date says no, So he trashes his stereo literally just goes, what the fun.

My mom gave me that for graduating grade nine with mine?

Yeah?

Man?

Uh so, yeah, he refuses to help, so he gets threatened.

You know that reference come on grade nine?

Grade nine?

Yeah, trailer.

Screwed it.

Egg, Sorry, I don't have them all memorized.

That was good.

I was like, I know he does.

I only ever hear grade nine, if I'm talking to our real Canadian or I'm thinking about trailer Park.

Yes, it was funny.

I was talking to about Australian phantom mine.

They mentioned grade three and I just heard Ricky's voice in my head when she said I got my grade three.

I got my grade ten for whatever reason.

So, uh, he has a Oh he has a nightmare about the cops arresting him as he's making out with Kate.

Yes, yes, she'll have a horny nightmare about him later.

Also during that dream, you're catching glimpse.

Whoa you see a flash of the bombs?

Yeah, a little bit later too.

Oh yeah, he's partying while Joey is at AA.

Is that some addicts thing?

Is it hackers?

Anonymous?

He's like, literally, I'm not an addict.

I'm not smoking double.

I don't have a problem.

That's I gotta get more coffee.

Yeah.

Uh.

But everyone else is hanging out the party, Kiton getting on with Curtis, and they're very not observing because it's so obvious there.

Yeah, who are like talking loudly and they're like, what are you doing in here?

It's like you didn't know they were in there.

Just checking out your ship.

Up.

Meanwhile, here's Curtis again only on screen making out what is.

That a computer?

Yeah?

And he's like, told me, told you that computer stuff.

Now, she's like, I'm going to he's like makeout time and he's like, all right, I'm leaving the movie.

Now bye, that was it?

Right, Yeah, it's gone.

We didn't even know, Like, we.

Didn't really get a good look at his face.

He was constantly making out.

We don't even we don't even like see him break up with.

And here is where we learned that Kate is ascid burn whoa And she learns that about Crash afterwards, Uh crash em Burn.

They they're bonding over hacking, and they make a challenge.

Yeah, they really want to fuck with the Secret Service guys life.

So uh they make a bet that uh, let me see here.

If he loses, he has to be her slave.

If she loses, she has to go on a date with him.

Sounds like win, no, because it's not that kind of slave.

She emphasizes that.

She's like, now you got to make programs for me and do all this bullshit boring hacker stuff.

And they both start harassing the Secret Service agent and I forgot what else they said, because all I could see was Jolie's hits through that sheer top.

None, do you think we can hack that top?

Handsome hands or you just watch that movie Gia.

I think she's fully naked in Gia.

If you want to let me put on groo.

Side by side, let me play Gia and Hackers side by side.

They're really fucking with this dude.

They're maxing out his credit card.

They're making him seem like a pervert.

Did they make him dead?

Yeah?

Eventually ends with that making it seemed like he's dead.

Uh.

After he gets arrested, he's declared dead.

So they're tied, and they learned that at the end, Uh, whoever wins the next round has to wear a dress.

Yes, the dress.

And he's like, you have to wear a dress for our date and she's like, okay, we'll then, so do you.

And it's like, wait, so now you're on board with the date.

What happens to the slave thing?

Yeah?

I guess it's just I took it as meaning you've got to be a slave, but in a dress.

Now.

Uh, okay, I'll go with that.

Go with that.

I wouldn't really be far off, considering half of the outfits in this movie anyway.

Well, okay, okay, dress right.

We then cut to him in like a leather dominatrix.

Lingerie said, and we realized this is a dream she's having.

And then she buys them the leather brawl and stuff, and like that's not a dress.

It's like and she's like feeling up his like wiener, but it's like it's giving chick.

So did that confuse you?

So you're rollerblading with that mustache?

Okay, is there something you want to tell us?

I gotta hack my brain?

So not gay.

We're really learning a lot of You're gonna be like Jack Black at the end of this.

I was gay.

I'm gonna do that promoted like, hey, we're talking about hackers.

This tip out he's gay.

It's a very bloated episode.

A very special.

Movies.

Tim comes out as gay.

Maybe all right, I don't thought there's anything wrong with that.

I accept you to.

What a what an episode to introduce me?

What's your first episode?

The one where Tim found out he was gay?

He tried to die it all.

I'm just a hacker man, that's it.

That's all it is.

It's pretty gay, more like plasma g.

Walked into that.

Okay, stop being so gay so I can focus.

God, damn movie.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, a man in a leather dress.

The plague sends him a laptop, which, by the way, I would just assume.

Had a microphone on it and I would immediately throw it away.

But it has a message saying, hey, come on, help me out, forget your friends.

It was one of those really cool laptops from the nineties, were like it was all clear plastic.

Yeah, everything was through.

Yeah, that's I had a friend who had like a phone that.

Looked like that.

TVs.

Yeah, that was cool.

Why do they stop making that?

I don't know, just everything's lame.

Now, Yeah, I'm sure there was a reason.

Well, I know, like eventually all that shit was converted to like prisons, Like prisons had to have the clear TVs because like they could hide stuff in the TVs.

So like a lot of the prison TVs were like that clear.

I'm gonna I feel like that's wrong, but that like seems logical.

No, I don't have clear stuff.

You can just get a tower and put like a glass on it so you can still see inside.

It doesn't have the same Fiel though, yeah it doesn't.

It was cool when it was shaped like what you normally would see, but had like the predator and visibility that made it cool.

I also like how the video that the Plague made had like those really cheesy.

Like video toaster fucking around with it.

It's like, yeah, this will, this will really get.

Him beyond the mind's eye type ship.

Uh so yeah, he ask for help.

The Secret Service is spying on Joey and Ramon.

Uh they start to follow them, and he hides the disc in the men's room behind the condom machine.

Mart makes sense.

Then he has a dream about getting arrested where he wakes up and the cops are all over his neighborhood.

But then he wakes up and then the cops are there.

He's three dream sequences already.

Pretty good.

Pretty good.

So he warns the other hackers like, hey, you're all being tracked and I have it in my notes.

Why is Angelina Jolie wearing a wet suit?

That's the thing once again back to the style.

People are wearing surf rash guards.

And zip I got the motorcycle jack because she was automotive cycle, Like, why does she have a wet suit.

She's not diving anywhere, So like as wasn't.

This shot entirely in like Europe and styled in Europe or something?

Well, some of it's New York.

They do it.

They did do some long location.

Was the credits.

It was like shouting out to like the UK.

Fucking I mean.

Probably all there are parts where they have like the foreign hackers.

Right, yeah, No, they probably filmed a lot in the UK, but there are some New York scenes like all okay.

Regardless, this is some fucking European nineties like style and aesthetic if I've.

Ever seen it.

Was again again it was funny scene where they thought everything was gonna go and then the matrix comes around.

We're like, we're just black leather.

That's for the next that's it the X Men, Black leather Daddy's blade, black leather daddy.

We're all black leather daddies all day.

Wanted to be.

All Dade wanted to be was a daity too.

I just didn't get it.

Got to just put on a puffy jacket and some fucking fish nets.

And you're going to go.

That's all you need.

Speaking of anyone out there, like if someone out there likes being a black little leather daddy.

Hit him up, hiss, DMS are open.

Let me know.

I hope he gets so many messages like, Hey, Tam, I watch the latest episode.

I just want to say congratulations.

It says right in the bio.

No DM okay.

So, uh she's wearing a wetsuit.

Uh.

Date doesn't want to touch a date.

Dade doesn't want to touch the disc.

He's like, I have a record.

Don't bring that shit around me because it's bad news.

And then Plague threatens to incarcerate his mother.

That's what happened, and he's like, you know what, I'm going to change this girl's record to your mom's put her in jail, and then I'll switch it back.

Then she'll just rot in jail forever.

Or we'll just go on a live her get rid of her.

Uh.

You don't don't fuck with Dade's mom.

Come on, man, we're a mineral company.

You better watch out.

Mineral company.

So uh, Dade gives a Plague the disc, but I think he made a copy.

He did, he made his copy first.

The way he picks up that disk, Dude, I just I can't imagine him like being in the driver, stop the car.

I gotta before you, before you turn that corner.

I got a crazy idea.

Yeah, and then someone he gets someone that was like, hey, go like down the street and just blast the biggest fog machine.

In the Yeah, let me hold onto the car and uh, we'll just gonna keep it moving.

What was that?

That was way Look, I've been to New York.

That's way too much steam and fox.

Something's broken even if there was a single rock on the ground.

Moot style.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The other day, we took the bikes out on Labor Day because it was it was a nice day.

And our buddy Pat Fried Motts DJ, you know he uh, he was like, yeah, I skateboard, I can't kick push dude.

Not even five minutes in hits an Acord literally blows his whole elbow out, like huge bruise, bloody after so that each ship he says, I'm going home and I'm stealing a soda.

Dane feels bad.

So he's super hacking all night and days.

Right, and now they're all gonna work together to hack the E.

M Squared Mineral company.

They're digging in the garbage.

They get caught and what is Angelina Jolie's defense against getting caught a fucking flare gun.

Dude, she literally whips it out.

Yeah last, like right.

That the security guard who looks like he's on his like last day before retirement is the security guard arm because I would just be opening fire, so I would.

Be like, oh my god, what is that I'm under?

Those are flaming like massive balls.

Yeah, you could really, and I like the other guys pretend to be construction workers.

Yeah, I love that.

Dude comes out, They go, try, Tony, is it true you used to pretend to be a construction worker to buy beer underage growing up?

Or no, no, I remember when we hacked.

The Yes, you pretended to be in construction.

Yeah.

We would put on hard hats and vests and be like, man, he was big for his age, just got off the night shift.

That again, we would just buy beer on like we're like eighteen.

It was pretty awesome.

I never tried to buy beer, but because I aged so horribly.

I've told this story before, Like when I was like nineteen, I just walk into a bar.

Everyone's like, yeah, please let that middle age man.

He's a regular, and someone ten years older than me, like, oh, sir, we need to card you.

I'm in there.

I'm like, oh, well, aging very poorly.

Matthew Lillard is pretending to be a cable repair man underneath the girl's desk, and he has his tool he felt at his cross.

He's like hitting her with.

Half of his asses hanging out.

And then the other movie he'd be the bad guy.

It's so weird.

He's wacky guy.

I'm like, I feel like you're the bad guy, Pookie guy, this.

Tiny glasses.

I think aund I think around this time he was doing shit like cereal mom.

Yes, which if.

Serial killer whoa, whoa?

I don't know which one came out first.

Maybe maybe John Waters is big Hackers fan.

I have that guy, Okay, Yeah, So they're all dressed like assholes.

A Plague finds out that the disc can incriminate them, but he's like, you know, well, we're gonna launch the Da Vinci virus and the plan is to arrest all them, pin everything on them.

But the hackers are two steps ahead because they're listening in on like all their plans and everything, so they know that the cops are coming for him.

Dat and Kate Sorry crash and Burn head to a club where people wear chandeliers on their heads on some European ship man.

That is This is another thing I watched as a kid, Like all these nightclubs.

Everyone's dressed all cool, and I'm like, one day that'll be me.

And then I'm like, oh am, I the only asshole at the club where.

There's no more shady warehouse parties anymore.

So you gotta bring it back.

We're bringing them back.

We're bringing them back.

I was reading something, tim you're not allowed to invite people up afraid were it?

At one type of demograph He's only stretched out leaving rollerblades at home.

What did you invite?

What's going on here?

That's what I'm saying though, Man, that European aesthetic.

Everybody looked at freaking g a y anyway, Chandeliers the head.

I mean, if you saw that Lillard outfit with that that tight angel crop to yeah shraft.

Yeah, I mean, I mean there's no arguing that one.

You know what, they were too early, They're like, I bet you in five years everyone will look really gay.

It's like too early, thirty years.

Thirty years to wait a little longer.

You can show this movie to some people down and they'll be like, everyone looks totally normal to me.

We used to be a proper country once again, a proper once again.

So they they meet Razor and Blade.

Yes, we're about to get their own TV shows, so they don't want too much as I know, right, but they encourage him to unite all the hackers of the world to team up, and I'm like, what you want everyone else to break the law and then like one big rico case gets them all in jail.

I love that one.

Like straight Russian dude in the leather jet who did not look like a hacker in the slightest.

Well, I also love like the whole scene of Itu.

It looked like he was like in like some kind of criminal enterprises, like people passing drugs around, kind of guns.

Cigarette.

Of course, for some reason it reminded me.

I don't know why.

I guess because they're showing everyone around the world while back I did steal starting and they show all the bad guys around the world looking at like the weapons footing.

In the scene reminded me of that ship.

They skateboard to the train station and they're using the payphones to do their hacking.

Smart well, meanwhile, the plague is countering them with the giant Gibson computer.

So they're at they're at.

A hacking giant computer that bass boosts every.

Time, and then the screen is just showing tower shooting.

Yeah, yeah, that's.

Because that's totally how that works.

Need more time.

But he's also got the power of the Da Vinci virus on his side.

We're just tipping that chip and everything is abe.

He's like, we're gonna tip it.

We're gonna blame everything on them.

So the world starts joining in and hacking back.

And then we get spitting phone booths all in a line, spinning.

They're spinning, those people walking dorm.

Around them.

What the fuck was that?

And like that wasn't a dream sequence.

That one felt weird.

That was just nineties editing.

Joey is the last one hacking, which was crazy.

I was Joey, right, that's that.

That's what I would call it.

A righteous hack.

Oh, that was righteous.

The plague starts to like lose his mind and they crashed the Gibson computer.

He was talking to the colonel.

They were talking so much.

Ship too back, Traddy hack me, you know what I mean.

It's like a cancer or whatever.

And then Braine Bronco was like, how this.

I'm so confused.

It's just a command processor.

It's the brain cancer, brain brain cancer.

They were able to save the day.

Dade gets arrested, throws the disc and do the trash can smooth?

Yeah, and he uh gets thrown into the car and he screams hacked and he's just.

Saying, trash man, it's trash hacked.

The planet, racking it, racking it.

Yeah, what's a serial Killer gets it out of the trash and retrieves it.

So Margo and play are a plague are celebrating.

By banging in a bed that looks like in Thehedra.

Yeah, I don't know what the fuck that was.

But serial Killer goes on TV and he breaks all the company's dirty secrets, and I fucking love this scene where whatever Lorie Brocers is like, Eugena cuts it.

He's gone.

Skated up.

Man.

Remind me of the Siebeld episode where the Rabbi is like hitting on a lane.

Nowbody cuts back.

She's gone in the chairs, like swinging back and exactly.

He gets on a plane and tries to wear disguise, which is just Sally sprayed his hair white.

That's it gets arrested.

They waited until they were so high up in the air to arrest it, Like, what the hell now they gotta go.

Yeah, I'll never fly this airline again.

Tony Kate is wearing a dress.

I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, it didn't really, I don't know.

It didn't come off with I don't know.

It was not very dressed, like it was not Europe yes, or was it Asian because again she had now has Gisha makeup on.

Yeah, I don't nowhere.

Very confusing, very.

Confusing, And they go, oh yeah, they go for a swim on a rooftop pool.

There you go, And I have my note here.

Didn't you have a boyfriend?

Right?

Well?

Who cares about that guy?

Curtis?

I know, but we had no point in the movie do we see Curtis and Angie Angela?

Angelina does what she wants with those bombs got me there.

The buildings across from them say crash and burn.

He hacked the buildings to say their hacker name.

And my last note is here they fuck underwater or something.

Yeah, dude, I thought I was holding out hope that we were gonna see one more glimpse of Angeline's bombs in the we were credits.

They are in other movies.

They're another movie.

What did you say?

What other movie?

I think it was Geo, But I think it's like a sad one.

I think it might be one of those sad It was like one of those where like, wow, she's taking that movie and they find out.

It's like a sad drama.

You're like, when I feel guilty looking at it, I'm like, oh, I don't want to just rewind it it.

I don't want to look at it all sad, and I don't.

Want to another hack the Bombs.

And that is Hacker.

I love it.

I love it.

It's so much fun in the moment.

When you think about it later, you're like, that's fucking dumb, But in the moment, in the moment, you're like, this is ridiculous.

I love this.

I was like, this is one of those movies now watching it today that I did wish I saw as a kid, because it probably would have changed it is.

It is a little hacky, but I also think it's a iyberpunk classic, So it's both.

It's one of those movies that for a brief period of time right after it came out nerds were cool.

Yeah.

People started were like wait a second, this actually sucks yeah, and then went back to again.

It should have came out ten years later, when a Vampire Freaks or my Space came out and everyone's code fixed their profiles.

That would have been the hacker generation.

They did it too early.

They did this too the time.

Oh man, but I think it's really really great.

It's really really fun.

It's fun.

Don't wait.

Don't wait to watch it like I did.

Don't wait to watch it.

Tim would have had his sexual awakening early in.

All the sides were there, but it took hackers to finally break it.

Grab you little learned that tight shirt and you went.

I think you trim your stash, get your blades, and wear a belly shirt with some straps, and you're good to go.

I would love if you're watching it you're like, I'm wearing the same shirt.

Ho, it's a miracle.

I can't I can't wait until the Jason Goes to Hell event coming.

Oh yes, yes, I can't wait, because now this is going to change your personality.

You two are both going to be dressed like hackers are gonna have die blonde hair.

That's what's gonna happen.

Yeah, guys, Tony will be there.

Adam Marcus, director of Jason Goes to Hell's the East Coast premiere of his documentary about the film.

We're going to show Jason Goes to Hell.

Afterwards, come shop the video store.

It'll be awesome.

And then Saturday we got spooky edition of Found Footage Festival with screening, pizza party, Massacre Lapsus is doing Intercorpse.

So it's going to be a really crazy weekend of events.

I cannot wait.

Date.

So that's September twenty seventh and twenty eighth.

Yes, Shamity Creek Brewery be there.

We will be there.

I will be there.

I like you, I will wear my will where my Jason Goes to Hell mask while I'm there.

I would expect nothing less.

And uh yeah, like share, subscribe, become a Patriot on support or for both of us.

Yes, I'm on my Patreon.

Considered becoming a free at least a free member.

You get a few free samples and I put the public feed up on there.

There you go, so you can just go to Patreon.

He has better notifications so when an episode comes out, you'll be more alerted than you will on YouTube.

YouTube's annoying, but yeah, it is all on there for you.

And do you have anything you want to plug or it's just the same stuff.

No, I'm all the.

Same stuff as Tim.

Make sure to visit the store and use code hack the Tony.

There you go, Yes, and I actually know what I'm gonna I think there he goes, bring it out?

All right, whoa, I believe it's a time to hack.

Yeah.

I think next time we should do a different hacking movie.

Maybe we do The Net starring Sandra Bullock.

Okay, yeah, sure, all right, pull up Sandra Bullock's Bumps Enhance zoom in.

There we have it, the dead pan like Bumps.

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