This is probably the most important one.

To know yourself is to know how God loves you, to know that God knows all of your flaws.

He knows you better than anybody else and yet through the cross, he still loves you.

It reminds me of a Packer quote, and before I get there it's like.

To know God's love is to not just know Him as Lord or judge or master or commander he is nothing less than those things in your life.

But to know God as father is to know him through the lens of the gospel, to know that you have been saved and adopted and called sons and daughters.

That's Packer's quote.

Adoption is the highest privilege of the gospel.

The traitor is forgiven, brought in for supper and given a family name.

To be right with God, the judge, is a great thing, but to be loved and cared for by God, the father, is greater.

To know yourself through the lens of a loving father is what we need most.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Find out what it means to me Wow, was that high, was that good?

High octaves, can we?

fix that in post.

No.

We had a peacock come to our house.

I will always sing with you.

It doesn't sound very much like that.

You know, I have to admit, Ray Peacock sounds are probably some of the most miserable.

I don't know why it makes me feel miserable.

They are weird.

The same with wind chimes, I hate wind chimes.

Oh no, I don't like them.

They're sad.

Seriously, yes, thank you.

I'm nostalgic.

Rachel and I were walking recently.

Well, when we walk by this certain spot, it has a lot of wind chimes and it just makes me feel sick.

Yeah, you don't like them either.

No, it's nostalgic.

It's the sort Someone gets murdered and the only thing doing in the background is the chime, and one of our neighbors put one up, so we've got one permanently in our backyard.

Oh no, I'm going to shoot it down.

So who shot that down?

That really surprises me.

I thought I was the only one that hates wind, chimes, no, no, I don't like them.

You like them, Oscar.

You don't know what they are.

I'm indifferent to them you are.

What I love, though, is we have owls in our neighborhood, and at night, super early in the morning, you can hear them hooing, and I love to hear that.

I couldn't give a hoot.

It's like, that's like.

No, it's better than that.

It's peaceful.

What they're doing is asking a question who, who, who did it Answer the?

owl.

I love owls actually.

I was.

Oh, that reminds me I was in my old neighborhood the other day.

You and I were talking about that right Nostalgia.

When you go to places.

I was in my old neighborhood where I grew up, went to the elementary school I went to, looked at the roof that I fell off when I was a kid.

Is that what happened?

to you.

That's what happened.

Or pushed somebody off?

That's what happened.

Went to where we lived and I got emotional, but I got emotional.

But, I went to my old junior high and it was called McGarvin Owls in Westminster.

I thought owls are like cool birds they really are.

They fly beautifully.

Yeah, I watched a thing where they were shown they make no sound when they fly and had to do with their feathers.

Can you make no sound?

It's a beautiful no sound.

That's how they copied the stealth from the owl.

And the peregrine falcon or something.

Yes, yeah, the shape of it.

But yeah, owls, and the way they turn their head too.

Is that what you think it sounds like?

But who came up?

with the.

Is it illegal to have an owl as a pet?

I?

don't think so.

I bet it is in California Because I looked into it.

I looked into getting a skunk as illegal.

Why would that?

They consider it like a hawk or eagle.

Can you imagine EZ doing one of those National Geographic things where he's like the owl turns its neck?

I would love that.

Yeah, difference, no.

But imagine, think of this, think of my voice, listen, watch, no, think, listen.

Okay, we're ready.

The owl turns its neck.

It started off well.

I mean like before you started to talk it was good Between clearing your throat and speaking.

It was perfect which you should illustrate how they can be silent I love that sound, so anyway why did I sing?

because I have a whole new level of respect for those poor guys that work on jackhammers oh yeah and and those, those you know, pieces of equipment that make those incessant sounds because they are destroying our building right now I wonder if a jackhammer burns calories ah, there goes the bike you'll see ray running bouncing around, doing both with sam.

You imagine jackhammer Bouncing around, do them both.

With Sam On the handlebars On a jackhammer.

Oh boy, that would be it.

I want a chainsaw.

Oh, no, no, no chainsaws and, like I said yesterday, no nail guns.

For you, oh yeah.

Ray saw them working On the building here and the guy was using A nail gun.

Oh yeah, be nice, and I said no, nothing gas powered or plugged in, you were not allowed to touch power tools.

I'd like to be in charge of dynamite, oh boy.

But yeah, like I was saying, you guys all know my head seriously felt like it was going to blow up this morning because they're chipping stuff around the building.

I thought imagine having to listen to that all day and be on the other end of that.

You know the vibrations on your body.

You get home and your wife says what'd you do today, honey Dude, it's so bad in my office because they're working on that wall and it's paper and it just sounds like the hammer and stuff is right here.

It's crazy, oh crazy.

So they stopped the podcast.

Yeah, I hope, oh yeah, and then we're going to keep going.

Yeah, so anyway.

R-e-s-p-e-c-t.

Ray, can you sing that for us please?

Yeah, I could Nobody's heard me sing, except my wife, no, that's true.

I wouldn't let anyone hear me.

From the age of 13,.

I don't sing, I whistle Seriously.

You know I whistle when I'm in church.

You're a great whistler right, because it's awful say on a hill far away yeah, okay, request to sing on a hill, and I always see when I sing, tears come to people's eyes.

Oh, it's beautiful stop.

Yeah, all right, friends, time for a cool, classy comment.

This is from hunter hardell biden senior it's hunter biden blank blank, blainey blank hunter hardell from Sioux Falls, south Dakota.

It's a great place, sioux Falls.

Love the podcast, have found it very edifying in my faith and it has helped me grow in discernment.

It is nice having a group of doctrinally sound, gospel-focused men.

Easy is an inspiration.

I spent 22 years an addict and hearing his testimony from gangster to Wheezy Grandpa is helpful.

Ray's an inspiration toward missions.

Oscar's level-headedness and perspective is refreshing and Mark's deep knowledge of scripture and conviction is very helpful.

Thanks, brothers.

He put it in quote.

I assumed he meant brothers, brothers.

Thank you, hunter, and I'm sorry that they added Biden to your name.

That was very rude of Ray.

Ray, what?

I don't know what's going on.

And now a radically revolutionary resource.

This podcast is brought to you by the School of Biblical Evangelism Online school and textbook, of which, by the way, by the way.

By the way, by the way, by the way, mark Spence Is a co-author.

Mark, people Forget that you're an author, so do.

I I figured you do.

On a different note, I miss the pastries.

That Oscar used to bring in Wait, wait, wait.

Where are the pastries?

Oscar, remember when he used to do that and used to love us.

Yeah yeah, oscar.

Why does this go up?

all the time I actually bring it in for the staff and I tell them to hide it from you guys.

You get an alien.

Do like Dunkin' Donuts or something.

Oscar, that would be really good yeah.

Dunkin' Donuts.

I should bring it in the sidecar one day.

Yes, yeah, yeah, so the School of Biblical Evangelism.

So we got the online school.

What is it now, mark?

You know, a fast food place that sells donuts that you hook with your car as you drive through would be a really good one.

What is happening here?

Yeah, so check that out.

Yeah, 22,000 people have gone through the School of Biblical Evangelism online, and the textbook is also a great resource 101 lessons that equip you, Mark.

One of the things I love about it is it gives challenges.

Give us some samples.

You have to share the gospel with your neighbors the one on either side of you.

If you want to graduate from the course, we kind of throw you out onto the water and make you swim or die, right?

All right, there goes zero sales.

I was just gonna say we challenge you in a good way, we want to prod you right.

What is the true definition of comforter?

The spirit.

Oh, you're encouraged to provoke when you witness to your neighbors.

We're just saying make a paper plane with this gospel track and throw it over the fence.

Yeah, and you have to share the gospel with a salesman or somebody who approaches you.

You have to hand out like 100 gospel tracts.

But the idea is, listen, we don't want to just fatten you up with knowledge, we want you on the front lines, ready for battle.

We want to turn the fat to muscle.

Oh that's good, right Is that original Yep Plagiarism.

That's original Pride.

Yeah, that's my choice.

It's either plagiarism or pride.

I'll just say I'll stay silent in the future.

Yeah, friends, check that out.

Don't forget the living water is much from which you can chug, and the evidence study.

Bible.

It's coming out in real leather real soon.

How excited are you about that?

That's terrific.

I feel sorry for the cows.

Moo Moo, it's for the sake of the Word of God, and over here.

Silly question.

Perhaps when we say leather, is that always cows?

It could be bulls, or it can be any bull.

We made leather.

That's leather.

What does the word leather mean?

So what about owl feather Bible cover?

Owl feather leather, that's leather.

Huh yeah, what does?

the word leather mean.

So what about owl feather Bible cover?

Owl feather leather.

Who would make owl feather leather?

No one will know you're carrying a Bible, it's so quiet.

All right, friends, don't forget that.

And don't forget Living Waters TV, where you can not only hear us but see us.

And remember the podcast YouTube channel.

It's growing.

Get all that good stuff at livingwaterscom.

Ooh, you're welcome, oscar.

That was special today.

It's weird how you can mimic crazy, crazy sounds.

It is funny.

It's really easy no talent whatsoever needed, no pun intended, easy.

All right, friends, let's get to it.

Come on, let's do it.

We've got a goal ahead of us.

We'll pursue it.

We gotta get it done and we'll have fun, and me and my homies and we're all on the run.

Run.

Yeah, oscar dj style I mean.

Yeah, all right, friends, today we are talking about how to know yourself that's rap side.

This is non-rap this is talent, non-talent, this is like a war between us.

Yeah, I was shocked the other day that you were surprised that I knew the Beatles.

Yeah, yeah, that's pretty shocking.

We've got a.

Beatles million coming out because Paul McCartney is coming to the US and having 14 concerts in different places around the country.

At 80 what 80.

Oh boy.

I hope he makes it.

I thought he was in his 70s, 84?

No, he's in his 80s.

He was in his 70s about a decade ago.

Was he in his 60s two decades ago?

Yep.

What about three decades ago?

Yeah, three or four.

Four Stumpies.

How could anyone go there?

Yeah, so today, friars, I want to say how to know thyself.

Oh, why didn't you say that I didn't know what we were talking about?

Now you say thyself.

How to know thyself, king, jimmy Thyself.

Yeah, this is an interesting topic that I believe.

Oscar recommended it was yeah.

Yeah.

Oscar's into knowing himself.

That's his passion in life.

But this might sound weird to the ears of some of our friends, Like what do you mean know yourself?

It sounded weird to me.

I had to call you and say what's this about?

Yeah.

So, oscar, why don't you introduce this subject to us and what do we mean by?

Know thyself.

Yeah, I think it's a valuable subject because, while you know, depending on what generation you grew up in, that might not be that appealing to you, that idea, but the younger generations are definitely asking that question how do I know myself?

You may hear people talk about it as the authentic self, to become who you were meant to be.

It's a pursuit that many young people are taking on now, and we can listen to that language and reject it entirely, or we can listen to that language and recognize the longing of their heart and redirect that longing to knowing God, and so one of the first ways that you hear people starting exploring this, especially coming out of high school and into college, one of the ways they say I need to know myself, is to reject the community they grew up in.

This is like the beginning of deconstructionism.

If you grew up in the church, I need to know myself, and in order to do that I need to tear off all authority because that's holding me back, which is interesting because historically you looked to family to know who you were.

If your father was a carpenter and your great grandfather was a carpenter, you looked to that family lineage and you knew I must be a carpenter, but now it's like if I grew up in a Christian home.

I need to reject what my family says about me to go discover who I really am.

In other words, historically we were told to look outside of us to discover who we are, and now, in modernity, we're told to look inside of us to discover who we really are.

And so that, without presenting any solutions so far, that's the problem.

That's the false gospel that you might know yourself by looking in, and of course we know.

The gospel tells us that we aren't to look around us, we aren't to look inside of us.

We are to look above us, to our creator, to our maker, to know who we really are.

So is that a new age?

question.

It could be categorized as that yeah, a phrase that we use, by David David Belah, I think was his name.

He categorizes it as expressive individualism, that basically, to become to know who you were meant to be, to find identity and worth in your life.

You look inside rather than outside.

So you come up with nothing after a lifetime.

That's exactly what's happening actually, ray.

It's interesting that you say that, because we've talked about this before in the podcast.

It's fascinating to me that the more we look inside of ourselves I know there's a lot of complexity to depression and anxiety, but think about this.

Over and over again, we're telling people look inside yourself, discover who you are.

And historically we found value in big things, things that were so much bigger than us, whether it was nation or family or God.

Those things have a great foundation, a historical foundation.

But now we look inside of ourselves and we define ourselves based off of our desires, our sexuality or these new communities that we're having, and so what ends up happening is that these kids are looking inside of themselves and often in their moment of loneliness, they're thinking to themselves I'm worthless, I'm a nobody, I'm a contradiction, I don't follow my own rules or laws or morals.

If anybody ever knew how selfish I am, how uncertain I am, how self-harming I am, then they would know I'm a fraud.

In other words, to tell somebody go out there and define who you really are, that's actually a new form of legalism.

It's something we're trying to save ourselves by defining ourselves.

And you were not meant you have no power to define who you are, but God has done that for you and he can give you more worth and value in this life than you could ever give yourself.

So isn't it a contradiction to the evolutionary theory?

The whole world says you're nothing.

You came from explosion, You've got no meaning or purpose.

So why do we say go and find yourself.

That's a great point.

Yeah, I think there's this journey that leads people where I think ultimately it should lead them, but the sad tragedy is that they aren't looking, at the end of the day, to the right place.

You know, we were just talking about someone earlier, a well-known personality who's in the chef world, on television, and Mark was just sharing that she committed suicide.

You know, that kind of futility is ultimately where it leads, especially when it's combined with the nihilistic worldview of like you have really no value in essence.

You have no real worth as a person because you are, you're just, you know.

And they start getting into the size of the universe and its scope.

And what are you?

You're just a speck.

Oh yeah, I am.

So people start indulging in all these things and end up destroying themselves.

So I think self-exploration should ultimately lead us to dissatisfaction with who we are, so that it leads us to Christ, who can regenerate us and turn us into a new creation.

But what happens is people get to that.

They explore themselves and they realize whoa, I'm trusting me, I know all my weaknesses and my depravity and my thoughts, but then at the end of the day, they feel hopeless because they don't know what the solution is to that and, mark, that's the gospel.

Yeah, greg Kokel said the world tells us that we are just molecules in motion and that we are just matter.

And if we're just matter, then we don't really matter.

We don't really have a purpose and a plan here on earth.

And it makes sense why, when you become depressed, when things seem to go against you, that you just want to check out, because we are taught from a very early age that we are just these molecules in motion, this protoplasm, making a decision.

That is neither right nor wrong, it's just a decision.

I had a sibling call me yesterday and said Mark, I just want to thank you for not giving up on me Wow, you're cracking up.

And he said you know I wasn't an easy one, easy brother to get along with, and you continually shared the gospel.

So this is one that became a Christian.

This is yeah, it's one of my.

And he said I'm trying to pass it on to my kids, but they don't want to hear it and I see the value in putting that into the kids at a very early age.

And now my kids are all moved out.

And he said my stepdaughter wants to get baptized this Sunday.

I don't know what to say.

I don't know how to lead.

I don't know how to lead my family.

I don't know what to do.

Can I have some input from you and my son?

All I want to do right now is talk to him about Jesus.

But I'm a work in progress.

I'm trying to learn and I don't know what to say.

I don't know what to do and when I do bring up Jesus, we will go months without talking.

I don't know what to say.

Help me out.

And I said well, you can ask him questions that we all wrestle with.

You know how did I get here?

And now that I'm here, why am I here?

And I know that this isn't all.

There is that I've been created for more right.

So what is the meaning of life?

What's going to happen to me when I die?

And maybe you can find a way in to reason with him, to have him critically think through his own worldview as to the meaning of life.

Where do you find your identity?

Right, here we are.

How do you know yourself?

And I think that this is going to resonate right to Oscar's point, because I think that this generation, this generation, that this, uh, generation of this modern time modernity is the word that oscar used that they cannot escape.

Even when they fall asleep, they will ask these questions what is going on?

Is it really us versus them?

And why?

If there's no meaning, well then why is it us against them?

And then it just becomes a yelling match.

You know, you'll never understand your identity until you start with your origin, and this is where Genesis 127 comes in.

So God created man in his own image.

You were created with a purpose and with a plan to know your maker.

This is nothing new.

This has been argued and discussed since the beginning of time.

Augustine he said in his book Soliloquies, or book one, he said grant Lord that I may know myself, that I may know thee.

In other words, you cannot truly know who God is until you recognize who you are.

And that's where the law of God, the commandments, come into play.

Have you ever come into the place where you said man, I can't believe I did that sin.

Or when we hear of a pastor falling into sexual sin or he dipped into the benevolent fund, we begin to think how dare he?

Paul Washer said the only reason why there's not eight billion Adolf Hitlers walking this planet is because of God's grace and mercy.

You and I are both capable of doing the exact same thing or much worse.

When you get to realize that there's no good thing that dwells within you, that your heart is deceitful and desperately wicked, above all things, you are capable of that and much worse.

Why haven't you God's sustaining grace upon a society that has snubbed its nose against God?

You want to know yourself.

You must know yourself in light of the commandments, and then you turn to Christ and you can live.

That's the ultimate solution.

I love it, Mark.

Do you know that?

That Augustine quote is the reason why, after I reading that, I texted EZ and was like we need to do a podcast on knowing yourself.

Oh, is that really yeah.

That's the one that was resonating in my mind too.

I've shared this before, but that quote that I have, you know, when I asked the Lord to give me more of him and less of me, he shows me more of me, which makes me want less of me and more of him.

Love it.

It's that pulling away of the veil that shows me my heart and I say, lord, I want nothing to do with me.

And when we truly look at ourselves, we really recognize our depravity, our fallenness.

There's a little poem I wrote years ago.

I may have shared it before, but it says when I take a look at me.

I see that I am blind, Yet when my heart is full of pride, I act like I don't mind.

In fact, I try to kid myself and say that I can see.

Yet when I stumble and I fall, people laugh at me.

I wonder at their laughter and I answer right away.

I tripped and fell on purpose just to see what you would say.

Some have tried to help me, but I don't know why they try.

Maybe if they weren't so blind we'd see eye to eye.

Call me 20-20 eagle eye, if you prefer.

I have the sharpest vision.

Focus, focus, never blur.

Not to mention that I'm humble.

I never brag or boast.

I admit to using glasses, but only when I toast and you know, but that's-.

Dude, that'd be such a good children's book, would that be good?

I'm not kidding, that would be such a good children's book.

Yeah, I wrote it years ago and I need to finish it.

I never finished this book, the ends of the toast.

Yeah, that's it, you've got to add more.

You've got to butter that.

That's some orange marmalade, yeah.

But you know what I'm saying?

Like that whole, because that's how we look, right?

When I take a look at me, I see that I am blind, right?

But when my heart is full of pride, I act like I don't mind.

So it's like when we try to pretend we're not the fallen people that we are, we look like fools.

That was a beautiful poem.

It reminded me of that short lady in Santa Monica, sunshine.

Yes, hello Ray, how are you?

My heart's desire is to kill you.

Oh boy, that was crazy.

That was awful.

Going back to Augustine Augustine.

He was short on that.

Augustine's quote.

After reading that I wrote, I journaled in the three things that I came up with, like how to know yourself first, quoting Augustine to know yourself, you must first know God.

And so, to just pick up where you were at Mark, you were, as you mentioned, created in the image of God, which means you cannot truly know yourself unless you know the one you were made to reflect.

And so I thought about like the sculptor.

You know a sculptor or an artist, a painter?

When they are preparing to sculpt another person, that person becomes their muse.

They study that muse, they come to know that muse and they say that the best sculptors and the best painters, they even come to love the muse and they say when you do that, not only do you sculpt or paint the person to look like the person, but even you could potentially capture the essence, the personality of a person.

And so, in that same way, if we are made in the image of God, then Christ must become our muse.

We have to study him and know him and love him, because the more we do, the more we become like him.

We are the sculptors in our own lives, and the more we study the muse, the more we become like him.

And the second thing is to know yourself.

You must know your deficiencies Like.

The more we encounter the glory of God, the more we realize how fallen and sinful we are.

And that doesn't just lead to like shame and inadequacy.

What that's meant to do is, the more you behold him, the more you're self-aware you become.

And that's great news, because sin our hearts are so deceitful and sin settles in our hearts in the same way that dust settles in our homes and those little crevices that we don't see.

And what we ought to do is the more we reflect on the glory of God, the more it shines on those little crevices of our hearts, the more we're able to clean up, through his power, those dusty, sinful areas of our lives.

And that's good news, because now the practice of repentance in the life of the Christian is something that we don't dread but we long for, because the more I repent, the more I become like Christ.

And then one more sorry To know yourself is to know this is probably the most important one To know yourself is to know how God loves you, to know that God knows all of your flaws.

He knows you better than anybody else and yet through the cross, he still loves you.

It reminds me of a Packer quote, and before I get there, it's like.

To know God's love is to not just know him as Lord or judge or master or commander he is nothing less than those things in your life.

But to know God as father is to know him through the lens of the gospel, to know that you have been saved and adopted and called sons and daughters.

That's Packer's quote.

Adoption is the highest privilege of the gospel.

The traitor is forgiven, brought in for supper and given a family name.

To be right with God, the judge, is a great thing, but to be loved and cared right with God, the judge, is a great thing, but to be loved and cared for by God, the father, is greater.

To know yourself through the lens of a loving father is what we need most.

You know, Oscars, as you're sharing all of that, I can't help but think about how so shallow the world is Like that wisdom that you were just expressing right there.

Our hearts bear witness, with the divine nature, of that wisdom, when you think of life without Christ, the folly that spews from man, the most sophisticated of men.

You know, these big intellectuals.

You take Richard Dawkins, you know and you hear the stuff that he's saying and how his fans are just raving about how great he is and I'm just like that is so vacuous, that is so like hollow, it's dumb.

You know, when you hear deep wisdom like this, you recognize the riches and the treasures that we have in Christ, that we have the mind of Christ and we're able to go places where those, especially that are in the place of denying the faith or who've walked away from the faith.

I'm like you're seriously trading these treasures of wisdom in for the folly of the world and yet using those treasures to do that with using the faculty of intellect and of cognition and of reasoning, like you know what I mean.

Like we've talked about using air as you intake it and exhale it, to deny, as you speak, the existence of air.

Like ridiculous.

I know you believe in air because of what I saw you do yesterday.

Oh no, Did you?

I'm never going to learn about that.

We were just going to do an interview and I see Easy's hand go into the air and move something out of the way.

There was something in the air he didn't like.

It was a little particle of dust floating.

Yeah and he grabbed it and put it away.

That's the ultimate perfectionism I've never seen anything like that.

How did you even know what I was doing?

Leave me alone, because he knows you.

So, ray, I'd love you to touch on this element of how knowing ourselves and seeing our sinfulness magnifies the patience of God.

It certainly does.

Oh man, no, I don'tJ.

I have nothing to say.

I do have something to say and this is what I have to say that we're living in incredibly dark times where we look at news items of people committing suicide that are an absolute success and popular and good-looking and young, and they take their lives.

And if any time in history the church needs to step up to the plate, it's now, because we're not Very few Christians share their faith with a sense of urgency.

Before my time, which was a long time ago, there was a song called Is that All there Is?

Any of you guys heard of it?

No.

It was the most hopeless, sad song and it was a hit Can you sing it for us, the words.

Yeah, I won't sing it, but I could if I was alone.

Is that all there is, my friend?

Then let's keep dancing, let's bring out the booze and have a ball.

And it just starts off.

This lady talking Her name.

This lady talking her name was Peggy Lee and she says when I was a little girl, my daddy loved me and I ran to him and hugged him and then, as I grew up, I did this and I did that and it just comes back to is that all there is, my friend?

Then let's keep dancing, let's bring out the booze and have a ball.

Yeah, it's ecclesiastes.

And the futility of life when death is coming, the hopelessness of having no hope in your life or reason to live and no hope in your death.

And it's coming closer and closer and it's haunting, as Hebrews says.

I think what's happened to this generation is what happened to me in my testimony.

I actually grew old prematurely.

I had attained everything in life at the age of 20, absolutely everything.

I had attained everything in life at the age of 20, absolutely everything.

Not the degree of Solomon, but a smaller degree Own home, beautiful wife, made a kid, money go surfing.

When I wanted just everything I wanted.

I thought what do I do next?

And this generation has seen the world via its phone, it's had sex and done everything via the phone and there's nothing left.

It's just is that all there is, and they take their lives.

So they're in darkness, they're like groping blind men and we've got to get an urgency in our heart as Christians and say Lord, take away my fears, let me live daily for the lost and be concerned about them and not myself.

What firefighter would ever stand around while people are burning to death?

Concerned about them and not myself.

What firefighter would?

ever stand around while people are burning to death.

So we have this incredible obligation that we must fulfill.

Amen.

I was reading a comment earlier today from someone who said they've been activated to share the gospel through listening to the podcast, and I think it's important that we remember, right Like, we talk about a lot of things, but the heartbeat of our ministry is the fulfillment of the Great Commission.

Ultimately, friends, and just as a reminder because you hear us talk about different things, we're seeking to equip you, to help you become a well-rounded believer.

Ultimately, for the sake of what?

Letting your light so shine among men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven, and that can only happen through them being regenerated.

So thanks, ray, for keeping us on point, reminding us of that.

You know, mark, we were talking the other day in our staff meeting about our propensity to sin.

You know, I've always been fascinated by transitions, right, in the sense that how does someone go from being you know a person who's like this and then suddenly they're like that and you just see these different phases of life and it's like someone who's elated about something that happened, but then they're crying and bawling their eyes out.

There's transitions that happen.

We're talking about how quickly we can transition into sin at our high points.

You mentioned a quote.

What was it about pastors on?

Monday.

Oh yeah, oh, piper had mentioned that senior pastors fall into and struggle with, however you want to define that pornography more on Monday morning than they do any other day.

Right, it's the day after success, the day after pouring themselves out that's crazy.

A day after maybe no longer needing to be as focused as they needed to be on Saturday night and prep for Sunday morning because it's their day off.

They need to unwind.

And some people I was talking to Bruce Garner.

He said that he would find people it's almost like a present for them on the Monday morning.

Right, it's a way of release for all the pressure and it is like, well, it's understandable that I would be able to do this.

But we move, right, we move from a prodigal to Pharisee overnight, or from Pharisee to prodigal overnight.

It's not because you're crazy, it's because we live in a fallen world.

This is the propensity of the heart.

I want to look down on your sin, not realizing that I have that same sort of urgencies and desires and maybe sinful things happening inside of my own heart.

I go and speak down on you, not realizing that I got these things inside of myself.

And Eze, I'd love it if you would touch upon, because I think it kind of goes hand in hand.

Or maybe you, oscar, about loving yourself.

We live in a society where it says you need to love yourself.

Your problem is you're not loving yourself.

Or I need to go find myself.

I need to take a break.

I'm having a midlife crisis and I'm going to go do this thing to find out who I really am.

I'm going to go hiking up the Himalayas.

I'm going to go do this and once I find myself, I'll become one with myself and I love myself.

Well then I can come back and be of earthly good to everybody else.

Like yourself did go up the.

Himalayas, yeah.

I think I'll just touch on it a bit and Oscar can take it from there too.

But I think that there's a massive, massive misconception when it comes to scripture talking about loving yourself.

I mean Jesus said love your neighbor as yourself.

In Ephesians, paul talks about what to love your wife, as you know, as your own body.

But the whole point in that is not this self-infatuation, which is the brand that the world is selling, right?

It's this sort of narcissistic type of love where it's all about me and I'm the only one that truly matters and everyone exists to serve me.

Not at all right, because obviously Philippians 2 calls us to consider others more important than ourselves.

Jesus says if you don't hate your own life, right, you don't lose your own life, you're not worthy to be his disciple.

Isn't that how we're born?

A baby thinks the whole world is created for the baby.

Yeah, that's right.

It's part and parcel with our wicked, fallen, sinful nature.

So obviously, when Scripture talks about loving ourselves, it's talking about that natural propensity towards self-preservation, which is okay, right, that's not wrong.

But that's why it's like, hey, as yourself, I care for myself, I bathe myself, I feed myself, I protect myself, you know, to love my wife as my own body, again, in the same ways, the parallels of how I look out for me.

But the world has taken that and you'll see that right, that's a telltale sign, typically, of an unbeliever who claims to be a believer.

Love yourself, right.

And they, just, they rear up the second you start talking about you know we need to die to ourselves.

No, I love myself, you know.

And oh, that that talk disgusts me, you know so.

So I think that's important to clarify.

There's it's crazier now because now you'll hear people talk about your current self and your future self.

One time I someone sent me this ridiculous financial advice from this TikTok guru and she was like, yeah, I just bought this thing and put it on credit and she goes I don't want to worry about my future self.

That's not me.

I care about myself right now.

Today.

My future self will worry about how to pay this bill.

And I'm like what is?

happening.

I couldn't believe it.

But I wanna go back, because you mentioned success and you mentioned sort of like right after that peak, that mountaintop, that next Monday.

It reminds me of this conversation that I heard Timothy Keller preached a sermon and he has this great quote in which he points out the identity is not received.

I'm sorry, he says identity is not achieved but received.

The right kind of the day, the identity we need is not achieved but received.

And he points out this conversation that he had with this woman who had gotten saved at his church.

She said she came to him and said I've lived four or five different identities trying to save myself.

She came to him and said I've lived four or five different identities trying to save myself.

And she said to him, like you know, at first I thought of myself as a good, moral person.

I was on the right side of the politically divided line and because I was the moral right, I felt like I achieved something.

I felt good about who I was.

And then she says she got a little bit older and she realized I need to be loved.

That's who I need to be.

And so then she found a man and he, she was loved.

But then that you know they get married, but then she's still not feeling fulfilled.

And so then she says then I knew I needed a job, I needed a career, and so then she went and got herself a career in New York and was incredibly successful career.

And so then she went and got herself a career in New York and was incredibly successful and then she still wasn't feeling.

She says is that all there is.

Is that all there is.

Exactly Her identity was being achieved.

And then the next thing was like I need to do good deeds.

And so she got herself involved with a nonprofit and gave a ton of money away, and still she didn't feel the sense of worth and value that she was meant to earn.

So he quotes her, he says she says first I thought I was someone because I was a moral person.

Then I thought I was someone because I was beautiful.

Then I thought I was someone because I was successful.

Then I thought I was someone because I was helpful the whole time I was trying to save myself.

And she goes on to realize I cannot achieve my worth and value, I cannot achieve my identity in this world.

It must be received from my Lord and Savior, the one who died for me.

Wow, isn't that?

good.

I love that.

I find such joy in these athletes and these successful people in business that are well-known because of their success, and to hear them give all the glory to God, because it's those people that people would assume, oh, they don't need God, that they would be the least to ever pursue God.

But I think it's because some of them reach those pinnacles and they realize people are praising me, like people think I'm this great guy and you know, and I can't even get it together some mornings when I wake up, you know, and so I love that, though, to see people like that recognize man I'm nothing Like.

Scripture tells us what do we have that we didn't receive?

And if we received it, why do we boast as though we didn't Meaning, as if, though, we somehow created it in ourselves, like we made ourselves and put this in us?

We receive everything that we have, you know, and we have this treasure in earthen vessels and these cracked pots, or crack pots in your case.

Yeah, life is not only frightening without God, it's also very weird.

We spend the first three years doing things we don't remember.

That's so crazy.

It's just weird.

I mean, that's when I learned to talk, when I learned to walk and eat, and then, as life evolves, it's a time of discovery as to what I like and don't like.

Like.

I would like to like coffee.

I don't like coffee.

You like the smell.

Yeah, I like the smell, but if someone says I like a cup of coffee, I feel like I'm walking and saying no, no, no, no, no, but no, no, I just don't like the taste of it.

I wish I did, but it's in my DNA.

I don't have any choice.

That's because you drink it like Oscar Black.

No, no, no.

It's nothing to do with that.

It's like I don't like running.

That's in my DNA.

Certain music I like, certain I don't like, but I've got no choice.

It's in my DNA and that's kind of frightening as you go on and realize that you're not really as in control as thought you were I remember when I was about 20, and we were talking about it yesterday, you were interviewing me about my life and at the age of 20 years old, every Saturday night I'd go out drinking with my buddies.

That's just what we did.

We'd drink booze, they would drink beer, I'd drink apple cider.

I'd get drunk real quick with a half bottle of apple cider real quick.

And we'd go out and we'd go from house to house to house and I'd be lying on the floor in the back seat of someone's car, didn't know who they were.

They were driving drunk.

It's a wonder I didn't get killed.

We'd go into a house of people.

We didn't know there's people sitting around.

You'd get beaten up if you looked someone the wrong way.

You'd know who.

They don't have to do that anymore.

I know the truth.

The truth has made me free.

And you come, you really.

When the appliance breaks down, you go back to the manufacturer and that's what humanity has to do.

We're in a mess in every way, in our psyche and everything.

And when we go back to God and just say God, be merciful to me, a sinner, we know the truth and the truth makes us free.

Amen.

So let's get a little practical and get into knowing ourselves as it relates to, like, our temperament, our weaknesses.

You mean as a Christian, yeah, as believers.

Now, because I think there is that aspect of knowing ourselves like how do I function, like Hurry up, you know.

Those sorts of things I'd love to hear just from you guys, like some things you've discovered about yourself that have helped you.

You know, like I've talked before about using, for example, with me.

One of the things I learned about myself is I have a hard time waking up.

I'm a really deep sleeper.

And I talked about.

You know how I realized that, knowing myself that way, it led me to know that I had to use external tools to help me with my internal weaknesses.

That's why I would set those five alarms trailing from my bed into the bathroom.

No, just a bit of nails would work.

That would help too, and so I'd love to hear from you guys on some of those sorts of things and maybe how you can encourage people Like how do you examine yourself?

How do you get others involved in helping you to know yourself?

I think Paul Tripp's a huge help here.

I can't remember what book he says this in, he's probably said it multiple times, but I think a path forward.

I call it the three Ds discern, dismantle and desire.

And so the first one is definitely Paul Trippian, if I can say that, which is discerning our idols.

He points out that every strong emotion that we have, whether it's anger, fear or anxiety, what it's actually doing is revealing something we love most.

Like you're interacting with your family and your spouse says something, your kids do something, a situation happens and out of you comes fear, anxiety, anger.

What Tripp points out is that, ultimately, what's happening is when somebody, when somebody puts one of your idols in danger, you respond out of anger and fear and anxiety.

And so, instead of like there's something wrong with them, that's a sign there's something wrong with me.

I need to discern what is the idol of my heart in this moment.

Is it comfort?

Is it reputation?

Is it power?

What could it be?

And once you discern your idol, then you have to dismantle it.

You have to ask yourself what lie am I believing?

What truth of the gospel am I not believing?

How is Christ on the throne, the true fulfillment of my deepest desires, where I will find true humility and grace.

And then, finally, is to desire Christ Ultimately, how do we repent?

It's when we come to desire him above all else, as Thomas Chalmers calls it, the expulsive power of a new affection.

True, deep repentance is when we see Christ as so great that our idols simply no longer make sense and they melt away.

Wow, that's so good.

I'll go on one of my weaknesses, that I've learned about myself and what I do to help me.

So I have, as you guys know, a real, real problem with rude people.

It just what are you looking at me?

Spence looked at me when you said that yeah, that's why I can't stand the three of you.

But rude people, just rude people.

Airports, dmvs, any place that's like government run where they don't need you.

You need them, right it just.

And then I've failed.

I've gotten in my flesh, you know, with people that have been rude.

And so, learning that about myself, knowing that's my weakness, and I think for me it's the idol of, maybe self, and that idol is respect.

I want to be respected.

How can someone treat me like that?

How can someone?

And so I've learned I have to.

Before I go to the airport, I have to cry out to God to help me to walk in love and self-control.

And what I do is I try to think that person is lost.

Hell is their destiny, most likely, if they don't know the Lord.

And so who knows what happened in their life?

Maybe someone died in their family, maybe they're just, I am light to them.

And so I've been disciplining myself to go the extra mile.

The ruder they are, the nicer I become, for the sake of shining the gospel's light and then giving them a tract.

Because you act rude to someone, of course you're not going to give them a tract now, right?

So it affects your witness.

So that's one of the things.

Well, that's really good.

I learned something about myself that I haven't got it down when it comes to witnessing.

I approached I was on my bike, had my dog, came up to this couple that were in an SUV, a big car, and he was tough looking, tattoos, oscar, and his girlfriend was rather sweet, sitting next to him in the car and I said would you like to go on YouTube and do an interview?

And he said what's it about?

Kind of gruffly, and I said whether or not there's an afterlife and his girlfriend says oh, there is, there is.

And she said let's do it.

And he he says I don't know.

I says come on, it'd be great, you can do this.

And uh, and she said yes, let's do it.

And then I made a mistake.

I said she's being more of a man than you are Now.

I've used that line.

I've used that line many times, many times, like dozens of times, and the guys responded you're right and we've got an interview because of that, because she's stepping up to the plate, she's been more courageous.

But he said I'm going to get out and beat you to a pulp and he used a few colorful words and his girlfriend's at the back of sitting there saying I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, and so I said I apologize.

Profusely soft answer and said I didn't mean to offend you, it was just like joking.

He said well, don't joke about things like that.

He was very insecure about his manliness or masculinity.

Anyway, I said I've got a couple of in and out cards for you, and he softened up and she was very grateful and she says I'm so sorry as I wrote off but it would have been a great interview.

So I'm going to hesitate to say that in the future, because that's one of my weaknesses you get things down that work and suddenly they don't.

So I've just got to say Lord, help me to have wisdom, because if I die, I'd like to die naturally.

He can naturally kill you, right.

Yeah, I really appreciate your vulnerability in that.

I think just in that vein for me really in that, it, it.

I think just in in that vein.

For me, comfort is definitely an idol that I'm constantly trying to go not

that kind of comfort?

Oh okay, stand up, I'm just a man no, you know, creature comfort.

I think.

One growing up so below the poverty line and so much inconsistency in my childhood, like one.

One way comfort is an idol of mine is I need to have a certain amount in my savings account which makes me a less generous person.

You know I depend on the comfort of a savings account versus the comfort of Christ.

I think in another way, in a very practical way.

You know my creaturely comfort of like sitting down and reading a book is a form of comfort to me.

And when that idol gets in the way of my kids wanting to play with me, of Kelly needing help, I can easily in my heart grumble and go man, can I just get 20 minutes to myself, which is comfort, becomes an idol, and the thing is comfort.

Here's the thing about idols is that we often think they're always bad things.

But an idol is often a gift from God, a good thing that we turn into an ultimate thing.

Comfort is a gift from the Lord, but when it becomes, an ultimate thing when it becomes loving myself before loving my wife and kids.

That's when it becomes an idol thing.

An idol of affection.

That's so good.

And again, oscar, and the reason we're sharing these stories, friends, is so that you can kind of get an example of how to self-probe, to be self-introspective in the right way, so that you could say, okay, well, what can I do then to change that?

That leads us to prayer.

It leads us to crying out to God.

Mark, we were talking at that same meeting of how our recognition, of how we can so quickly shift when I asked you about the Monday morning thing, knowing how so quickly being on the highest high and in love with the Lord and how quickly we can get in our sin, makes us depend on the Lord, makes us never want to be apart from Him, like to stay conscious of Him.

Isn't it?

I mean, it really is a good thing to examine yourself, it's a good thing to recognize that you are decrepit, because if you're decrepit, you need help and you're without hope, and Christ is both our help and our hope.

Right?

Someone 39 search me and try me.

Oh, you just stole it that's where I was heading.

I was thinking they're going to praise me for this.

When I mentioned that verse.

Search me, oh god yes, humble revelation carry on mark, I've got it in front of me here, so do I.

Yeah, yeah, boy, go get carry on ahead, carry on, you ruined my day.

There's liberty.

And there's freedom in handing God a flashlight and saying check out any hidden areas of my heart.

Right, search me, right.

Have you ever lost something that's valuable to you?

It's like you want everybody to help you find it.

This is the most important thing.

And everybody pulls out their phone, they turn on the flashlights, full speed, full brightness, and you're down on your hands and your feet and you're looking for that.

I was on a walk last night and I was over by this park and I found a piece of gold on the ground.

Yeah well, it was not real, that's what I come to find out, but I found that.

But I was thinking, if this was a real piece of gold, I bet that they would have got down on the ground if they lost it and they would have searched for it until they found it.

They would not have given up on that.

Well, lord, search me, try me, look for things that need to be uprooted, things that need to leave.

It's like Martin Luther until a man realizes he is nothing, well then God can make nothing out of him.

Well, I have nothing to offer you.

I recognize that I have nothing to give.

I attended 14 schools over the course of my life and I learned through my lack of stability at one school that I didn't have any friends, that I was making new friends.

We are the world, we are the children.

I love you, mark.

You can let go now.

This is too long.

It's too long and, as I recognized, that I didn't have.

Ray's face is going red.

He's going to hit you, mark, you know Ray's face, he's all red Getting all hot, getting all hot, getting all hot.

Oh boy, that's enough.

You're doing so much to me right now You're carrying on that.

I became comfortable in not having friends and not reaching out and I became comfortable in just going to Barnes, noble or Borders and reading what I could find and at that time it was really just sports, sports-oriented things, and I enjoyed that.

And I, like Oscar, think to myself I just want 20 minutes of privacy, right?

So we come up with those headphones that are noise counseling.

And now the absolute best place for me to find rest is inside my car.

Right, and I used to tell people look, a great place to pray, my greatest place of prayer is inside my car while I'm driving.

And before cell phones were a real huge thing, I remember going down to Radio Shack and purchasing a fake cell phone and I'd have it up next to my ear and I'd be driving and I would be in prayer.

But people would look at me like what are you doing?

Oh, he's on his phone, but really I was just in deep prayer.

Solitude is a great place to seek after the Lord.

Not having friends is a great place, because you get away from the sheep, you get to be with the shepherd.

So don't despise those times where we think, man, I wish I could be like the crowd, I wish I could be like him, I wish I could be popular.

You think of Hulk Hogan, who died a while ago, and this man.

He achieved the absolute pinnacle of greatness, this bronze star, this man who was able to defeat giants Literally Andre the Giant.

And now here he is, later claiming my greatest moment was when I received Christ as my Savior.

There's a picture of him being baptized and his wife being baptized and saying I despise it all for the sake of the cross.

That was amazing and we need to follow into that footsteps and despise the trophies of this world.

Lay him at his feet for the crown.

Yeah, amen.

You mentioned Paul Tripp earlier, oscar.

He said something profound.

He said you can't know who you are until you know whose you are.

Oh yeah, so, good and that's profound, you know, because when you connect those dots right again, it opens up the Pandora's box of the gospel, like whose I am?

Well, I'm his.

Okay, how did I become his?

Why did I become his, and what does it mean that I'm his?

And it just like opens up all this stuff about who I am, like wow, I'm redeemed, I'm loved, I'm adopted, I'm predestined, and that's where you find value.

I bear his image.

And it starts to just unravel all these amazing things.

It's so good.

Here's the challenge to the nonbeliever, and maybe even to the believer, which is the call to surrender.

To surrender who you are to God.

And if that sounds foreign or too much to you, you have to think of Christ and what he's done for you.

I mean, think about Jesus in the wilderness, right?

He wasn't just tempted to break a fast, he was tempted to define himself apart from the Father.

When Satan tells him, turn stone into bread, it's this invitation of self-preservation.

You don't need to depend on God, jesus, provide for yourself.

When Satan tempts him to throw himself off the temple, it's self-glory.

Prove yourself, make God serve your agenda.

When Satan tells him to bow and I'll give you the kingdoms of the world, it's self-exaltation.

Take a crown without the cross.

That's the invitation of Satan.

Each time Jesus is tempted with a sense of independence, he's offering him identity in performance and pride and power, rather than belovedness and obedience.

But Jesus, he resists.

He chooses the will of the father over the will of the self.

He embraces dependence, not autonomy.

He knew to be himself.

He must lose himself in the father's will.

And so, ultimately, why should we submit to God?

Because Jesus did.

Because in losing himself, we find life right, and that's the invitation of Matthew 16.

Whoever would save his life would lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake would find it.

Why lay down your life?

Why surrender your right to define yourself?

Because Jesus laid his life down for you, because he knows you better than you know yourself.

And he has given his life up, he has surrendered, so that you could surrender and find true life.

Amen.

And ultimately, our identity is to be found in Christ.

Paul put it best in Galatians 2.20, I have been crucified with Christ.

It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me and the life which I now live in the flesh.

I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

You know those again that try to claim that the Bible is just this made-up, fabricated thing, that try to claim that the Bible is just this made up fabricated thing.

You hear words like that.

This is a human being who was transformed and revolutionized.

These are not human words.

I have been crucified with Christ.

It's no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me, the life that I live in the flesh.

I live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

I mean, oh, as Christians like, we resonate with that.

You know, and that's the ultimate in how we know ourselves.

This is who I am.

I am now the crucified one with the crucified one.

I'm now the resurrected one with the resurrected one, and his life now is manifested through me.

I live to magnify Christ who's living in me and through me.

And ultimately, ray, to tie it in with what you said.

That I mentioned is the heartbeat to our ministry, that God now, through Christ Galatians, 2 Corinthians 5, he now wants to plead through us to the world be reconciled to God.

And so let that Christ who's in you, who now defines you as you learn who you are and know yourself, let him now plead through you to the world to be reconciled to God.

Amen, amen.

I can't end on dumbness after that one.

Thank you for joining us.

Friends, don't forget podcastlivingwaterscom and everything else.

We'll see you here next time on the Living Waters podcast.

That was a bit dumb.

She'd be like sorry about the first five minutes.