So at baseline, I'm a smart person, right?

I have a fairly high iq.

I can do a lot of smart people things, I can do a lot of analysis.

I'm pretty good with numbers.

I can do hard brain thinking.

I can take a different.

I can look at things from perspectives that other people can't.

All of that is, is indicative of intelligence, which I greatly appreciate.

Because without that, I would have nothing going for me.

Nothing.

So I appreciate that.

At least for my lack of social skills and my deeply seated sensory issues and my complete lack of desire to do anything the way that you're supposed to do it.

At least I have a couple of IQ points in my favorite.

Like, that's super nice.

Thank you, universe.

You did me a solid.

However, I spend a lot of time wondering if I was given a higher ish IQ so that the average overall is not like 40 when I see a dog.

Because my IQ goes from fairly high and able to hold very intelligent, high level conversations with people to basically squealing and making non existent sounds or nonsensical sounds.

When a dog comes by and there it's.

It is involuntary.

It is completely involuntary.

There is nothing I can do to control it.

It could be a dog I've seen a thousand times.

It could be my own dog.

It could be the neighbor's dog who I see pretty much every day and who, by the way, is Bruno's girlfriend.

They love each other.

Don't tell Odin that.

I feel like that's gonna.

That will create some discord in our home because the two of them have something weird going on.

But Bruno is such a gentleman when he sees the neighbor's dog.

He is never a gentleman, but she goes to the other.

We have a metal fence in the backyard and she's small enough to like stick most of her head through the fence.

Thankfully not all of it, because then I would just have the head of a dog and the two of them see each other and they run to each other and they do like little kissings through the fence post is so cute.

And then he sits there and then he always pees.

Always.

It doesn't matter if he just went pee.

When he sees her, he pees again, which I think is him saying that this is mine, but I don't know that aside from the fact that every time he sees her he pees.

But they like run back and forth with each other and he doesn't ever bark at her, and he barks at everything.

And so they have like, they have like a whole little relationship and I take him outside and I go sit.

And then I just watch them be best friends in the backyard.

And it's so cute.

And he comes up and I say, oh, you're such gentleman.

You're such a.

You're so sweet.

You're such a night dog.

Oh, you're so cute.

And then my husband looks at me and goes, what is wrong with you?

He's like, none of that was English.

None of those were words.

And the dog doesn't understand you regardless, so whose benefit are you doing that for?

And I don't have an answer for him except to say my own dopamine.

Fight me.

But he comes up to me, it could be the fifth time I've seen him, and I say, you.

Hey, yo.

Oh, you're so sweet.

Hey, you sweet boy.

Oh, you're just my sweet boy.

Why are you such a sweet boy?

And then my husband says, that is not a sweet boy.

That is a boy who runs around and puts his slobbery face all over my counters every day.

And I'm constantly cleaning up after him.

And I'm like, you just don't understand him.

He just needs your love.

And maybe he thinks your love is on the counter.

I don't know.

You knew we were getting house horses who are going to be tall enough to just put their faces on the counter.

You knew this.

You were there when we did it.

You should not be surprised.

But anyway, I think my theory is that I got, like, high level of intelligence on regular, just at baseline, so that when it dips frequently, it balances out to, like, average intelligence, because otherwise I would be in trouble because there is no activity happening in my brain when I see a dog aside from gimme da dog.

I want a dog.

That's a dog.

So, yeah, just if you need me to be intelligent, which does happen fairly frequently, just make sure there are no dogs around because I cannot make any promises.

And if we're, like, on a zoom and your dog walks up, two things are going to happen.

One, I'm going to be like, oh, I want to see the dog.

But then two, I'm going to get really frustrated with time and space and telekinesis.

I think it is because I want to pet your dog.

And short of punching the screen, I cannot do that because you're not in the same place as I am.

So please send me pictures of your dogs.

I always want pictures of your dogs.

But also bring me the baby, because I both want to see pictures of your dogs and I want your dogs.

I'm a very reasonable person on a normal day, like measured, good with money.

I don't make a lot of excessive purchases.

I'm good at making money.

I'm good at running a business.

I'm good at telling my husband when we don't need more expensive things that he just wants to have.

I can balance the books.

I don't do, I don't do anything to excess, except maybe caffeine.

But if I had 45 dogs and you wanted to bring me a 46, that would be like, yes.

Like my husband thinks that two dogs is enough.

I think he is incorrect.

There are many, many more dogs in the world.

And I was, I really, really wanted Chihuahua.

Had many Chihuahuas and I loved them.

And I love the idea of having 160 pound Great Dane and a 3 pound Chihuahua.

I think that's hilarious.

And we can get a little pouch and put it on Great Danes and put the Chihuahua in pouch.

That would be hilarious.

He says no to this.

And I was talking to a friend of mine who is an accountant and he said, chihuahuas.

A Chihuahua with two Great Danes is basically in the margin of error.

You don't even count it.

So I don't see the problem here.

Just get the Chihuahua.

He was like, it's.

You would just write that off as waste.

Exactly.

So I want all of the puppies.

And when I say puppies, I mean dogs.

I don't care how old they are.

I just want all of the dogs.

And also, I am not ever going to be reasonable about dogs.

I could have just gotten a dog yesterday and I would be like, we need another dog.

And I feel like my husband being supposedly reasonable about this is stifling my creativity and he should be punished.

I have no idea.

I have no idea.

I was just thinking about it this morning when Bruno was like climbing on top of me and I was like, you're so cute.

Why are you the cutest boy in the whole world?

You're so sweet and you're so gentle and I love you so much.

And Kyle looks at me and he's like.

I was like, josh, he just wants your love.

Just give him love.

And he's like, I.

I'm not giving that slobbery bastard love.

I let him live.

That is love.

And then I was listening to myself going, give me that.

I want that dog.

Oh, I'm dead down.

He did a baby.

Look at, look at him.

I don't, I don't know how.

I don't know that.

Look at him.

He did the baby.

He did the.

That's the wrong hand.

He did the baby anyway.

No, that wasn't an invitation.

I don't actually like you that much.

Go away.

My kids occasionally will watch TV in my room, which means I don't have most of the apps logged in.

We only have YouTube TV logged in.

And also, as I said before, I don't want to pick an app.

So if they're coming to watch TV in my room, they're watching YouTube TV, because I am not changing the app, because that is so much work, okay?

And so they're.

They're trying to.

So I said, pick something to watch.

And my youngest goes, well, I want to watch Paw Patrol.

I don't know if she actually said that, but.

And I was like, that's not on right now.

And she goes, it's always on.

You just go to the app.

And I was like, no, that's not how television actually works.

Scroll down until you find something you want to watch.

She's like, what do you mean, find something?

Okay.

So we scrolled together, and she was like, all right, I want to watch this.

I was like, okay, fine.

So I click it, and then the commercials come on, and she's frantically hitting the next button.

She's like, I don't wanna watch this.

And I was like, you can't.

You can't just skip them.

We're watching live television.

She's like, I don't know what that means.

And I just wanna watch Paw Patrol.

I was like, man, these kids have a very different childhood than I do.

She had no idea.

So, yeah, then, Then.

Then my oldest was there.

This was a couple years ago now.

And she said, mom, can I watch TV on your tv?

And I said, yeah, but just remember, like, you.

I don't have any of the apps on it, so you're just gonna have to watch whatever's on.

She's like, that's fine.

I'm just gonna scroll until I find something.

And I was like, whatever.

And she's usually pretty good.

Like, she picks things that she's allowed to watch.

I don't worry about her, like, turning on Dateline.

And so she picks things that she's allowed to watch.

And so I was like, whatever, that's fine.

And so I hand her the remote, and I went in to the bathroom to go do my makeup.

I don't remember where we were going.

And I didn't really.

I didn't hear much.

Whatever.

And I see her kind of, like, with the remote, and then it gets quiet, and she, like, settles in because I can.

I can see my bed from where I'm standing in the bathroom.

And all of a sudden, she's like, oh, this.

The Golden Girls theme fills my bedroom.

And I was like, all right.

I have done one thing right.

I may have done everything else wrong as a parent, but I have done this one thing right.

Anyway, so I just want to turn on a TV and get a channel.

I don't want to have to work that hard.

It's too much work.

I just want to turn on my TV to have immediately selected murder and then not think about anything else.

Don't make me pick my.

Don't make me pick my noise, please.

Thank you.

This has been a public Service announcement from L2.