Welcome to the Thankful Homemaker podcast, a podcast to be an encouragement and blessing to each other in the role God has called us to as women.

I'm so thankful you stopped by, so grab yourself a coffee or tea and sit with me a bit as we talk about how God's Word impacts every area of our lives as Christian women.

Hello, friends.

I'm Marci Farrell from thankful homemaker, and I'm so glad to be with you today.

We are on episode 180, and it's titled Determining the Best Choices for Your Family.

But before we dive in, I just want to share a little update with you.

I recently turned in my manuscript for my upcoming book, Homemaking Matters, Living for God's Glory in Our Ordinary Days.

There's still much work to be done in the editing process and all the other things that come about with that, but Lord willing, it will be released late summer or early fall next year with Harvest House Publishers, and I will definitely keep you updated on that.

I am so grateful for the Lord's leading.

I'm grateful for all of your prayers and encouragement, and I just pray that it will be a blessing to women in every season of homemaking.

And then also, my friend, if you're a monthly email subscriber, you already receive updates like that, just talking about the book, because that will come in my newsletter to you, along with your.

Get updated on blog posts and podcast episodes and access to my free resource library.

But the most recent addition to the library is the 40-week husband encouragement challenge, and already over 2,000 women have downloaded that.

So if you haven't yet, I encourage you to do so.

It's a printable that includes a weekly scripture focus, a short encouragement, a simple action step, and a prayer prompt.

And you do it at your own pace.

It's free.

Doesn't get any better than that, right?

I'll link to the free library in the show notes if you want to sign up.

So we're talking today about something that's been on my heart lately, determining the best choices for your family.

Because as I watched my daughter raise her children, I'm reminded how much the world has changed since I was in her season.

There's so much more information, so many opinions, and sometimes it can feel like there's pressure to follow a certain formula for parenting or homemaking or education.

And sometimes those overwhelming opinions or informations for her can come from me too.

But the truth is, the best decisions for your home, they're not based on what others are doing or what's trending, but they need to be shaped by God's Word, your family's convictions, and the unity you and your husband seek together before the Lord.

So today we're going to talk about making the best choices for your family, not someone else's.

So I'm going to kind of walk us together through some scripture, through wisdom, and through the scriptures, and through grace, really.

That's a big one, right?

As we seek to honor Christ in the everyday decisions that shape our homes and families.

This is a little shorter episode, so I'm hoping you could just take a moment to sit with me a bit, Maybe grab that cup of coffee or cup of tea and just sit a little bit with me.

So just I want to take a look back at motherhood because right now my children are grown and I'm in this very sweet season of watching my daughter walk through the very beautiful and busy and messy and challenging days of motherhood.

And my grandchildren are raging age from 10 to 14 right now.

But let me tell you, things look very different than they did when I was a young mama.

I'm going to be 60 this year, just to give you a reference there.

So when I was raising my family, we didn't have internet.

We didn't have cell phones, right?

We didn't have Pinterest boards or parenting blogs.

There were no reels that, you know, Instagram reels of beautifully filtered routines or step-by-step toddler snack plates.

No phones in our pockets, no texting for a quick, what would you do with a friend?

Back then, my guidance came from my husband, my close family members or friends.

I've talked about my grandma in here many times and my husband's mama, my sweet mother-in-love, maybe a book from the library or a magazine.

That was probably a big one back for me back in the day.

But I wasn't a Christian either in those early years, so I didn't have the anchor of God's Word guiding me as it does now.

So I'm saying this in some ways it was simpler because I didn't have all those voices, but it wasn't simpler because I was not anchored in God's Word.

That would have been a beautiful thing, but that was just not the Lord's plan for our family.

So God is sovereign and he is good all the time.

So it still doesn't mean that it wasn't hard.

Just because I didn't have all those voices speaking to me didn't mean that it wasn't hard.

There was still insecurity like fears and tears and doubts and questions.

And I had to navigate the mix of opinions and advice from very well-meaning family members, right?

Sometimes it's harder to not take advice from someone you're close to.

They truly cared, but they didn't always see things the way maybe my husband and I did.

So I still wondered if I was doing it right, but the noise around me was quieter.

I just wasn't constantly bombarded with so many different voices, advice, and opinions.

But today, you mamas face a different kind of pressure, and not all the time.

I mean, this constant input from social media and blogs and podcasts, well-meaning advice, it can feel like a tidal wave.

It can leave you feeling like you're constantly behind or failing, or there's only one perfect way to do this and you haven't found it yet.

But my dear friend, I want to remind you of something.

If you take nothing else from this, remember this thought today for me.

Your standard is not someone else's story.

Your standard is Christ.

So as believers, we have something unshakable to stand on, right?

It's God's word.

It's our light and our anchor.

And Psalm 119, 105 reminds us, your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

So when you feel tired or overwhelmed or unsure, his word is your light.

Your children don't need a mama who does everything right by the world's standards.

They need a mama who clings to Christ.

They need a mama who confesses her sin, who's growing in grace and who seeks to walk in the spirit daily.

Even when the laundry is overflowing and it's five o'clock and you have no idea what you're making for dinner yet.

That kind of life, a heart turned toward Christ in the midst of ordinary, it's not produced by willpower or perfect routines.

It's the result of the Spirit's work in us.

Galatians 5, 22-23 gives us such a clear picture of what that looks like.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Not perfectly, but prayerfully.

And progress always, not perfection.

And it's always by His grace.

I wanna gently add this in too.

It's really okay to step away from the noise.

Sometimes the wisest thing you can do is log off social media.

Actually, one of the best things I've done is I've taken it off my phone so I can only access it through my computer and my tablet because Instagram's a little trickier for me with stories on my computer.

So Instagram is still on my tablet.

But log off, walk away from it.

Take it off your phone.

Take it off your phone for a week or two weeks or a month and see what happens.

Set the parenting books aside and just sit with your Bible and a journal and pray and let the voice that is the loudest in your heart and home be the Lord's through his word.

So, and this is really to my dear young mama listening, because if you're in the thick of it right now, this is for you.

You're not alone.

I know the days can feel long and the nights sometimes, right?

Even longer.

You may wonder if any of it is making a difference, but my sweet friend, nothing you do unto the Lord is ever wasted.

There's purpose in all of it.

That diaper that you change in love, that tantrum that you handled with patience, that whisper of, Jesus, please help me in the quiet of your heart, it all matters.

Colossians 3, 23 to 24 tells us, whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.

So let your motherhood be worship.

Let your homemaking be ministry.

Let your days, ordinary as they may feel, and I'm there with you, be marked by a heart turned toward Christ.

You and your husband are the ones the Lord has entrusted with your children, not the blogger, not the influencer, not me on this podcast, right?

And as a husband and wife together, you're called to seek what's best for your family.

And that wisdom comes through prayer, the word, and the leading of the Holy Spirit.

So yes, yes, ask questions, seek counsel, be teachable.

But someone else's way doesn't have to be your way.

And sometimes what's best...

Doesn't always look like what's popular, but let the Lord shape your home.

And let me gently say this too.

Don't try to do motherhood alone.

I know I'm telling you, don't put all these voices and don't do this, but don't do it alone.

Because Titus 2, this gives us such a beautiful roadmap for what this precious picture of life-on-life discipleship between women should look like.

It's not always about formal mentoring or structured meetings.

It very well can be, and that's part of it too.

But it's really about sharing life together.

Older women are to teach what is good, right?

And so train the young women to love their husbands and children.

So if you're a young mama now, don't be afraid to ask an older woman to walk alongside you.

A simple, would you mind if I called you now and then?

Or could we meet up sometime to talk and pray?

That's really all it takes.

You can start very simply.

And if you don't have an older woman in your life right now, don't be discouraged.

Pray, ask the Lord to bring one into your path.

Ask your pastor or your pastor's wife if there's someone in the church they can connect you with.

And in the meantime, seek encouragement from trustworthy Titus 2 resources, right?

Look at the books and podcasts and biographies of faithful women who have walked before you.

And I know many of you are so good to me.

You reach out with such kind messages and thoughtful questions to me here.

And I am truly honored.

But I want to gently remind you that while I'm grateful to offer encouragement from afar, I'm not the older woman walking beside you in your day-to-day life.

You need someone who knows you personally, who sees your life up close, and who can lovingly point you to Christ in the real moments of your day.

And most often, those women...

Are already around you.

They're sitting near you or right beside you in church.

They may not have a blog or a podcast, but they have wisdom, and they have life experience, and they have a heart to encourage younger women in the faith.

And this is why I'm going to get in my soapbox here again, why being part of a solid Bible teaching local church is so important.

The Titus 2 model wasn't designed to happen online.

It was meant to happen face-to-face, life-on-life, in the context of a covenant community of believers.

It's in the local church that you'll find faithful women to learn from and serve alongside and be sharpened by.

Women who will pray with you, cry with you, and point you again and again to the sufficiency of Christ, not just in theory, but right there in the middle of your real life struggles and joys.

And if you're not currently part of a good church, I just really encourage you to make that a priority.

If you're married, speak to your husband about this and just let him know that this is really on your heart, that you would really love to attend a solid Bible preaching church.

Don't just attend either.

Belong, invest, reach out, be an active participant.

Ask the Lord to help you build those relationships and be willing to take the first step.

You might not know exactly who to turn to at first, but the Lord is faithful to provide what we need.

Ask him to show you who that might be, and don't be afraid to take the first step.

Sometimes that woman is already nearby just waiting to be asked.

And as you receive wisdom, be a good listener, be humble, keep a teachable heart.

You won't agree with everything, and that's okay.

You don't have to implement it all, but learn to test everything through the word and let that sharpen you as a follower of Christ.

Proverbs 19.20 reminds us, listen to advice and accept instruction that you may gain wisdom in the future.

So to those of us, now I'm talking to me here, who've walked this road before, who've raised our children, and now we're in the season of watching the next generation, I want to say this gently but clearly.

Let's be a safe place for young mamas.

Let's listen more than we speak.

Let's encourage more than we correct.

And let's give advice when it's asked for.

And even then, let's offer it with humility.

This is one I am so grateful.

Years and years ago, I came across this quote from Susan Hunt.

And I don't remember where it's from, so I'm not really sure.

It could have been your home, a place of grace or spiritual motherhood.

I'm not sure.

But she said, when a young parent, and this will be in the full show notes over at the blog at thankfulhomemaker.com.

So you don't have to write this down.

You can find it on the blog.

When a young parent gives you permission to give advice, you should give them permission not to take your advice.

Always remind them that they are the parents whom God has entrusted with that child.

That's so good.

So we want to be women who point others to Christ.

Not our preferences, not our perfect plans, but the person of Jesus.

And I want to say this as someone who often finds herself in that older woman role, whether it's through this podcast, writing, or sitting across the table from a dear sister.

I'm still learning too.

I haven't arrived.

I've made plenty of mistakes, and I still do.

But my hope isn't to offer perfect answers, but to come alongside these women in my life as a fellow traveler.

And even now, I'm still learning.

I'm still learning how to better love my family, how to grow in godliness, how to rest in the sufficiency of Christ, how to guard my tongue and my thoughts.

We never graduate from needing His grace, and we never outgrow our need for wisdom.

So when I share encouragement with you, it's not from this place of, I have this all together.

It's from the heart of someone who still sees the sin in her own life daily, and who is so grateful that the Lord and His mercy doesn't leave me there, but he continues to sanctify me moment by moment, day by day, patiently shaping me more and more into the image of Christ.

And that's what he's doing for you too.

So we want to pray more than we advise.

And we want to remind those younger women that their work is kingdom work and God sees it all.

Sometimes what a weary mama needs most is not this list of how-tos, but simply someone to say, you're doing good eternal work.

Keep going.

Because time has a way of revealing what really matters.

Because even when I look back, I don't remember all the birthday parties or the matching outfits.

I may remember a couple of those.

But as much as I remember whether I was kind or patient or faithful, I remember the days when I opened God's word with my children.

The moments that I asked for forgiveness.

The times I reminded them that Jesus is enough because I needed that reminder too.

It is good and right to teach our children to obey.

That is part of our calling as parents.

But outward obedience isn't the ultimate goal.

What we long most is that our children would know, love, and walk with the Lord.

And yet, we also remember that salvation is of the Lord.

We can't change their hearts, but we can be faithful to plant seeds, to water them, and pray fervently.

We trust God with the growth.

So while we work to shape behavior and train them in godliness, we do it with our eyes on eternity, asking the Lord to do only what He can do in their hearts.

And then in that process, my dear friend, we as parents and grandparents, we're being shaped too.

We're not aiming to raise perfect children.

We're seeking to point them to a perfect savior.

And that starts with being parents who know and love Jesus ourselves, parents who walk in repentance and faith, who model what it looks like to cling to grace and who pray daily that the Lord would capture their hearts for his glory.

So as I'm wrapping up here today, I really wanna encourage you, whether you're a young mama or a seasoned one, Let's be women who build one another up.

1 Thessalonians 5.11 reminds us, Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up just as you are doing.

Maybe you can simply send a note to a young mom you know, invite her over for coffee, text her a scripture, lift her up in prayer, give her a phone call.

This work of motherhood, this calling of homemaking, it's sacred.

In Christ, all of life is now sacred, right?

There is no separation between the secular and sacred.

It's not small.

It's not unseen.

It all matters, and the Lord is using every bit of it to shape us more into the image of Christ.

Jesus truly is enough always, my friend.

Thank you for spending time with me today.

And if this episode encouraged your heart, maybe pass it along to a friend or save it for one of those days when you just need that reminder that you're not alone in this journey.

And if you'd like to find the full show notes, including any scriptures I referenced or quotes or any links that I'll pop in there that are related, you can visit the blog at thankfulhomemaker.com.

And while you're there, again, just the reminder, I'd love to invite you to sign up for access to my free resource library.

Again, it's filled with downloads and tools to help you grow in your walk with the Lord and in your homemaking.

And it's free.

Who does not love free, right?

That's a good thing.

And if the podcast has been a blessing to you, I'd be so grateful if you take a moment to leave a rating or review wherever you listen.

And it's one of the best ways to help others find the podcast and be encouraged in their own walk with Christ.

And it's a sweet encouragement to me.

I'm so grateful for all of you who have taken the time to do that.

Thank you so very much.

And I am so grateful for you, my friend, and I do pray that you have a very blessed week.

Music.