R and B Money than we are the authority on R and B Ladies and gentlemen.

My name is Tankown.

This is the R and B Money Podcast on all things, All be.

It's this one thing, one thing, and it's all and beat a whole bunch of it.

Legs walking down the.

Street, huh oh, stage mean, dazzling, stepping, west legging, dancing.

Singing man here going everywhere.

Every good great hair, great body of hair, awsome face.

You guys, this is episode.

This is the homie and she is absolutely an awesome human being.

Harvey Money podcast people all over the world.

Right, he made it.

I've been knowing you a long time, a long not that long.

We were on tour together in two thousand and two.

Why are you aging me?

No?

No, I'm the old guy here.

You were a baby.

You were a baby, and we were looking after you.

You just a little pee ship trying to make sure you had your milk.

And how are you agreed?

I'm really great.

You look great.

Thank you, you look great.

And and i've you know, we've seen you more over the years lately than we have you know what I mean, And just in your presence.

Yeah, I always see your sister more than you.

But you know, I get to see you.

Your energy is just your energy is just great, thank you energy.

What what do you attribute that to?

Is that?

Is that just you?

Is that just always been just happy and just.

I am a general happy Yeah, I am a happy person.

I think I kind of feel on the spot because it's like, why are you looking so serious?

How you feeling?

Are you a happy person?

He's like, so that's that's his listening face.

I'm present, okay, presence, yes, okay.

So it's like what people will be talking about you sounds so healed.

You know.

I don't like that term though.

I am just generally a happy person, you know what I mean.

It doesn't mean I don't go through I guess what everybody.

Everybody goes through things.

But I think my general mindset is that like everything that happens is for your benefit, for your good, Like whatever it is, however wonderful, however a person may deem it terrible on its face, I do think that it's like whatever happens, it's like thank you God, like thank you, this is this is a lesson or this is supposed to teach me something.

And so if you kind of look at life that way then, I mean if you look at life like everything that happens is for your benefit somehow, then it's all good.

Right.

So it's a very positive way.

Yeah, absolutely absolutely, I think.

I mean it's par for the course thing.

Step you tell like day I wasn't posted.

Anymore, Yeah, or you step up your tone now because you're it's bringing you bringing some attention to something, or slowing you down.

Even even if you slow down in your day a millisecond, right, it gets you in the car that much sooner or later, I should say, right, And so everything is orchestrated.

So everything that happens is kind of like.

Oh, well, you know, there's a purpose.

There's a purpose, I believe.

I agree, there's been there's been a resurgence of you.

There's been more of you for sure lately.

You know, I'm me, So it's it's hard to tell.

It's hard to look at myself from outside.

Okay.

So so so again I'm just I'm telling you there and just in terms of like who you are, what you bring to this, what's missing from this?

You know what I mean?

It's like you're a thing where people are like as good as it felt, then it still feels that good now, if not better?

Thank you?

How does that make you feel?

Preserving?

No, seriously, like because certain things, people's voice, their looks.

Are they in shape to do what they did?

You know what I mean?

Like all those things that it's like seeing you now it feels like seeing you then.

Yeah, it doesn't feel like to me, it doesn't feel like a drop off.

When I see it, I'm like, oh no, she's still cooking, you know what I mean?

Like when you popped out at the BT hit.

You, I'm like, yo, because you were so sweet because you recorded it.

He was like a proud like bro.

He was like he was recording from the side when he said when he sent me the footage, it was from the phone from the audience, and I was like, we.

Were in the back.

We were stuck, you know, because you know, once they start recording, you know you can't come in.

But we were just watching and it was like it was me and my wife and I don't I don't want to mess up her name, the Olympian Gymnasts, not some on bios.

The young girl.

Yeah, I can't think.

They wrongfully took her metal.

Yeah, I want to be able to say her.

Name, you know, I think she might be a blazing too.

No, yes, yeah, yes, can't say her name though.

Jordan Childs.

Jordan child So it's me, me and my wife and Jordan Chiles and you know, just a bunch of people and we're all back there and we're just we're just taking it all because it's all like nostalgic and all great.

And then you come on and just and we're dancing, we're having a time.

My wife is like, she looks good.

She killing's killing it.

She's like like Jordan's she danced and she like, you don't even know nothing about this.

And that was the effect that you had on me almost fifty year old and a Jordan Childs who's twenty two.

Yes, yeah, maybe, yeah.

You know what I'm saying, that's the effect that you are having in twenty twenty five, twenty six.

Well, I mean that's it's really humbling, you know, I mean it's really humbling because you know, music is something like to be able to to be able to be a part of anyone's life, like to provide any bit of the soundtrack to a person's life and like their experiences like that means a lot.

Definitely, to trying to figure out how I phrase this, like after after any like long period of time to still be able to have that effect.

It's it's humbling.

I feel like that's the only word.

And you really, I think realize as an artist, like how big that is later because it's that's something I really realized earlier on, Like in my career.

It didn't like people would say, oh, my goodness, this song helped me through this is something through that.

But it's different when it's like someone can tell you how this helped me through this thing back then, or like it got me through this over this time, over time, and you like realize how what you do, even though it's like art and it doesn't seem sometimes like really important, how it does make a day friends, Because as an artist, it's really easy to look at things and say, like, oh, there's so much stuff going on in the world.

I'm not curing cancer, I'm not doing this, I'm not doing that, Like what am I really doing?

But then you see the importance in that connection.

Yeah, I think people have always, especially with artists, they've always looked at things from the numbers, right, We've only that's kind of how we quantify impact with numbers.

You're having a very serious moment right now.

I have this inappropriate laughter thing like syndrome thing, So just ignore it.

Well, I know your ass.

Yes, I get it because she's so serious and I'm like, gotta be serious and that said it all.

Sorry, Sorry, I'm sorry.

No, But what I've said is like that's always been a way for people to say how impactful something is by how popular it may be.

And then you meet somebody who's like, oh, love song seven on this album that nobody's ever heard, our cares about, and like this is my favorite song and this is what got me through something.

Yeah, And then I feel like that's always something that brings artists back down to earth to be like oh shit, Like it's it's more than just chasing the number of our radio space.

It brings them.

It brings them back to purpose, right because I think that you know, earning a living and all of these things, it is part of it, you know.

But I think I think a lot of most of us started doing this because we loved it.

Like we didn't know what we had, Yeah, we just we just felt good when we was doing it.

We felt good when we were singing.

We felt good when we was dancing, and and then we found out one day you get paid with it.

Oh my goodness.

I used to forget to get my money in the beginning so many times because I was like, you know, so used to do everything for free and promo and plus I just love to do it, so I forget that there was money.

So I'd be like, we're just going to thing and the like they get get I was like, where are they going?

It's like to get the back in money.

I was like, oh, I forgot, like we're getting getting money.

Getting money.

I forgot about that.

I would have loved to be a bad manager.

You got your money already.

You enjoyed yourself right right.

Oh my god, Oh my god, they got money back there.

I was like, oh, I got paid for me.

Know, the front end was the whole end.

You're good.

Wow.

So so I want to know your your discovery process.

How were you discovered.

Again it?

So I'm gonna go a little bit further back than I usually go back.

Come on, come on, let's go back.

Yeah, let's go back.

Money exclusive.

Her money can't make me laugh too much.

It's great.

The smile is doing everything to that camp.

So you know, everybody knows kind of generally, like how I met rich and I went to college and you know DC and you're from that d.

MV area too, Did you finish?

Yes, I did.

And now I told my parents, like I was thinking of I was like, if the opportunity happens, I'm thinking I might, But what do you guys think about if I just leave in the middle of it.

My dad was like, maybe it depends.

My mom was dead set against it.

But my mom also cried when I became a professional singer.

She was kind of disappointed about that.

Asian, you know, so it's like singer.

She was like all she heard was Karaoka.

She's like, that's well, She's just like that's all.

She wanted me to be a professor or a lawyer or a professor or something like that.

But she also really what it was, because she told me later, she was just really scared.

She just knew about like sex, drags and rock and roll.

You know, I'm crazy, So she was just like, no, we can't do that anyway, I digressed it.

That's why she thought i'd be a professor or lawyer.

So she thought that it'd be like a little too crazy for me and she was just worried.

But anyhow, that was a digression.

Let's go back to the beginning.

So before I went to college, I was still trying to like figure it out in high school and so I did different like talent shows.

I think I signed to something like when I was in high school.

I can't really remember, but it was like a record company was in Alaska and they were trying to do their thing, and I think they were pretty decent in Alaska.

Yeah, And because I lived in Alaska too for like because military brides.

So I just lived there for like three years and I tried.

I tried to do something with that, and then I came to do like this talent show or this talent thing that was happening in New York that didn't work out, but I ended up pumping into some people that ended up coming to the music industry later and that they were also at that same talent show.

I realized that I'm telling this that it's not particularly interesting because there's nothing that happened with that.

So we're going to move on to college.

When I went to college, that's the story that everybody pretty much knows.

Like I was just like always trying to like figure it out.

Development or anything with the Alaskan.

Well, what I did, I did do some things, like some modeling picture type things.

I'm not a model, though, so that that wasn't going.

The biggest takeaway from that period is they plucked my eyebrows too thin.

That's what I That's honestly my takeaway because when I came out, when I came out, I'm like, look at my early early video or early time, I'm like, why are my eyebrows like that?

It's like because it's That's what I got from this that period of time was that the modeling, and it's just like some crazy thin eyebrows.

I did also sing on a dumpster, so that actually helped.

That was important.

So my biggest takeaway was too thin brows doesn't look good?

Got it?

Sing?

Don't be afraid to sing.

I was the person who was like scared to be in front of people.

So like talking to people was one thing, but if they asked me to sing, I have to like go behind the sofa and like hide or go around the corner.

I didn't want people to look at me.

So the one of the guys who was like part of the town thing.

He was like, I want you to sing on this trash can in the city.

Just do it.

There's a lot of people walking around.

I was like, oh my gosh, it's so embarrassing.

He's like, I know, but that's why you got to do it.

And I did it.

I did it.

I didn't want to do it, but I did it.

And so that that was my artist development.

So broke the fear.

It did break the fear.

That broke the fear.

And also my first tour, I was my first tour was the NOS tour.

Was that the one that we were on?

No, we were on that one.

Okay, that's the one.

That's the first one that I remember because it was like morning time doing a high school performance.

You know, those high schoolers my record, my first single just came out.

They didn't know the song.

Really, they're tough.

It was like a reward for some of them forgetting some good grades.

So that means already your audience is already kind of skewed to like I don't care about this, kind of not saying that.

You know, if you're a bookworm, it's not but I'm just saying they were like kind of bored, and I had to come out and sing, and then they don't care, and I can tell they don't care.

Plus I had my angsty years.

My middle school year and my high school years are very angsty, and it wasn't that far apart at the time.

So I felt like, you're pushing me in this environment that I'm not really wanting to get into, is bringing back like some triggery things.

And then I got to sing, and then I don't know, it was really really hard.

Then we did radio and I did the show in the afternoon and it was like thousands of people.

Then at night they were like, go to a club and perform, like you remember when everyone just just go and do it again, we're talking about for free.

See, this is why all this is for free.

That's why I kept forgetting I was getting paid.

And so I was like, all right, I'll do this thing, and I'm in the club and sometimes you'd be like a bunch of people.

Now these people to me all felt like grown ups.

So see I was half step out of the high school era.

So when I'm going to the nightclub, it feels like maam's and sirs like and then I don't know, like like, oh no, they can see through me.

They can see that I'm nervous.

So you're having all these thoughts throughout the day, throughout.

The day, and in between, I'm in the hotel like this.

It covers over my head, curtains drawn.

Because I was so anxious.

I was like, how does anyone have fun with this?

I don't know how to have fun with this because I'm nervous and anxious all day.

But doing that every day because I was on the tour, You're finding is so amusing.

I'm so glad because you think this is funny.

But I guess it is funny if you look at it now.

I'm living I'm reliving a little bit of it now because I remember what it felt like to be in that But it is kind of ridiculous when I look back at it, because I was like Amory's it's not such a big deal, But it felt like a big deal at the time because I was so out of my comfort zone.

But after that tour, I was like, put me in a bikini.

Hello, you create the monster.

Because how long were you?

How long were you on on that round?

Maybe like three months?

About three months, because I think I think I was pretty much on every single day and for the tour during the thousands of people, I only performed Rule with nos, so I didn't even have like my own say.

He was nice enough to just let me like kind of come out there and do my song, so I didn't have to do too much.

But that was the It was a great and that was a great lot.

It was.

It was good.

It was good.

I needed it.

Yeah, and you were doing your single at the time.

Too or no, yes, and then people were starting to know it.

So I got to see as an artist like oh, people were starting to like know it there, you know, because in the beginning, you know, I wanted to apologize, Hey, sorry to I'm just kind of because he let me do the song we did together, and why don't matter of fact saying I'm just make it real quick, just thank you.

That's a tough spot for new artists though, I mean, no matter what, especially like yes, like like Tank said, it's a lob and on one hand, like it gives you a leg up to be in front of these people, but it's putting you in front of a lot of people who don't know who the hell you are.

But I'm so thankful for that time though, because it was just so difficult, like mentally that I was like, look, if you can get through this, you'll be fine, because I literally would be backstage shaking, like okay, you guys, like really shaved, shaking like a leaf right backstage.

And when I was done, I didn't have stage fight anymore, and I never had it again except for some televised things.

Take me through the first single, why Don't We Fall in Love?

Nobody knowing it to everybody knowing it.

Well, you know what, how you changed in the sense of how you yes and how you presented it because you can wear it differently.

You wear it differently when people don't know it, because there's a certain performance that you're doing when people don't know it.

But then there's a certain performance that you you're doing when people do everything.

You guys know how it is.

You know, you know how it is.

When it's like people know something, it's differently, Like you said, it's there's they say to say, they say, there's there's no drug, like fame or like if it's not even fame, just being on the stage, controlling the stage, only the stage, because when you're on that stage, you there is a certain amount of like control you have over the audience, you know what I mean.

And that's kind of a little bit of power.

Yeah, and and and that that is like an intoxicating kind of thing.

But going from the from when no one knows it like that is I just had so many like hang ups, just personally like myself.

It was like, you know, I was already kind of upside.

I remember the first time I was performing, and you know, I had to like learn to like loosen up, like to throw a hip out because they mommy might be like what are you doing?

You know, what are you doing?

So it's like I was kind of like not moving too much.

And then then my mom was just like, oh, you gotta move where something tight.

I was like, mom like okay, okay.

So I kind of like.

Just like what are you doing here?

Gonna do this?

Don't forget about the money.

So how to like loosen up?

Once like I was performing and people started to know it came with twofold because on one hand, I was like, wow, this is like it's like power, like you really do only say you put put your hands up, they put their hands up.

It's like you're giving energy, they're giving you energy.

I was like this is really crazy, and I was like, I can see why.

You know, I don't know if this is in the Bible or not, but you know, with a story when you go to church, they were like Lucifer was the head of the choir and all that stuff.

I'm like, that's why though, because this is energy, this is it's it's literally vibration.

It's like it's communication.

So I was like, there's a lot of power in that.

But on the other hand, then I started thinking, like what do you do with that?

What are you doing it?

And that's actually what led to me kind of stepping away up for a while too.

Later that comes later in the story.

I don't know if you want me to tell that now or no.

No, So that's all that, Yeah, okay, because then because then there's talking to me is after that.

Right, talking to me was going to be first.

Then it was after that.

I think something was supposed to be before that though, but talking to me did come after that.

I was a second sing on that.

That was the second thing.

Yeah, uh, why don't We Fall in Love was incredible?

Now changed music.

Why Don't We Fall in Love?

Was like it was like quietly my favorite song.

Really, it was that sounded incredible.

I appreciate the.

Delivery, the vocal, the video, the musicianship, the core structure, everything.

I was just like, oh my god.

And then you get on stage and you and you was you were killing it.

It was all great, thank you, like you know, it's it's it's sometimes it's so sometimes it's song where sometimes it's the artist, right, you know what I mean, or sometimes you can pick up pick out the pieces that make it kind of makes sense.

Don't always have the name.

You don't always have the marriage of everything right where it's all good.

Yeah, and that and that's what.

That's that from the beginning, you came out there like the first song out the Gate, you came out the gate that way.

I think you know what what it is to I appreciate that one.

I felt like that song represents because you know, that wasn't gonna be the first thing.

That's what I was saying talking to me, was going to be the first one.

But when we did everything, I was just thinking like because at the time of you like a red eclipse, red e clips yea, and yeah it was it was a little fast, little little little fast car, you know, And I was thinking like what do I want to be my introduction?

Like because I've been dreaming about so I had notebooks of like how do I want to handle myself in interviews?

Like what kind of questions do I want to answer?

What do I not want to answer?

What do I think that how every thing should be?

Like I had, I was kind of everything planned everything well, you know, I guess you could say that I was prepared, right, trying to be prepared because I was one of those people who would you'd see me across campus.

I didn't have my headphones in.

That's also why I don't really remember much of college.

Unfortunately, I learned to be more present in life.

But I would walk between classes or like when I had the little student job, and I would pretend I was in the video, like I was listening to the song, but I was pretending that this was my video.

And I really really felt like I was in I was in my own world.

So I had everything so prepared one MOE while we fall in love.

When we recorded it, I was like, I like talking to me.

I like it a lot, but people don't know me.

This introduction is so important and what do I want to be the first thing?

And I actually didn't want to put my picture out because I was like, sometimes people get preconception, preconceptions or preconceived notions regarding like how you sound, and some people would be like, oh, like you know, she's cute, it's gonna be like which is cool.

But I was like, I don't want.

I just wanted to be about the music.

I just want people to hear the music, and I don't want any images getting in the way of their experience.

I just want that.

And I think this is the song that best represents me right now, everything you said and the melodies, the delivery.

I was like, if someone could only hear one song from me, it's like who is she?

This song is who I am?

And so that's why we went through it.

But it was the whole thing felt different to me, Like to me in my mind, it was very black and red of black and red, like those little colors in my head.

So when I talked to Benny Boone and we were like talking about the video and he was like summer day, I was like summer, I'm thinking what streets night dark?

He was like, oh, like what.

I was like, yes, but but now I understand because I was able to see.

I was feeling the fire and like what it was for me on an emotional level, like that song and what everyone else was hearing is what what the song was from the outside.

Refreshing, It felt light flowing.

Summer day and I can get it now in New York.

Yeah, first day of summer, Central.

Park on the outskirts, just walking, stopping at the truck, give me a double vanilla, throw some morios on that thing like it was.

A cataistic but it just felt things are going to be good.

It's going to be a great day to day.

I see with that's that's that that matches me so that that's I'm happy for that.

And then you were nothing.

You didn't look like anything in the industry at that time nor sound like.

So that was well, I don't know.

Some people were like they can hear the Merry influences to be to be fair, which I which which she's one of my biggest influenced may major by so that makes sense.

But I don't think there were a whole lot of Blazons around at that time.

I don't think we're like thing that.

I don't think there was one.

You know, we we were we.

Were very rare to me military it was.

M right.

So what happened is that people I think people like got on Blazion thing, got on the radar somehow, and then people just started together.

So it's always been about you know what I'm saying, always known about you people.

The way of water.

I got a question, very random, so because obviously I want I want to hear what you did, because you obviously went to college, you got education, you come from two parent homes.

It's a little bit of a different path than the average artists.

Right, most of us has drop outs, most of us, you know, I mean just for real, like it's just we got music, that's it.

So for someone like you, when you get your first check, M hmm, what do you do with it?

I don't really remember what I did with the money, you know what.

I'm not a person that thinks a lot about money, I gotta say, which is a good thing, but it also kind of a bad thing too.

What did I do with that?

I think you.

Didn't have any big purchase anything like when you first got like.

Okay, I I got got a little bit of money.

I think I think I bought a Cardier ring.

Okay, I think when I gave it to Angela.

So your first lates, you know, you just bought a whole bunch of la When I was when I when I didn't really have money because I was, you know, a student, and everything I would I had a ritual.

Okay, well maybe that's why I'm always mentioned in lates and me they're cozy.

I only could get one a month when I would get my little student check because my parents had I always had everything I need, but not like just extra stuff.

You know, we got what we needed for school clothes.

Kids would get like a whole bunch of stuff for school clothes.

It's like here's a couple outfits and one parachutes.

Now we we had we never wanted for anything.

We always had what we needed, but not always what we wanted.

So when I had my little whatever I had, I would buy the latte.

It was like four dollars, you know what I mean.

And I would sit just like this when I would get that money and just be like and save that.

Sometimes I put on my one hundred dollars sweater that I only wore that day, and that was it.

So like, you know, it was very basic.

So when I did get money there wasn't a lot of things that I wanted to buy for everybody.

It was kind of like, now I can have a latte whenever I freaking want.

I don't worry about it.

You can get them extra cream whatever we're cream.

Do it go crazy, go back to one, I said.

So it's like my big purchase was like maybe it was like kind of like that that ring.

Now.

I did go through a period where I got a little crazy and I was like shopping and buying a lot of clothes.

I do remember that.

But then but then I was like, that's a kind of like a waste.

I'm more into like experiences, I think, And so that's why the latte thing kind of was a thing for me.

It wasn't about the latte.

It was more about like being able to just sit back and enjoy something, you know what I mean.

And then when I got money, it was like, now I can just have the experiences that I want whenever I want and not have to hold those because whenever I would buy like more material things, I don't know, it just it do didn't do it for me the same way, But don't get me wrong.

You know, if I was well, I did start buying jewelry.

I was like, I'll just buy my jewelry.

That's my thing.

So that's probably why I bought the ring, okay, But then you know I forgot about it.

And fresh nigga shit, Yeah, yeah, that's what I did.

But I was also again you got to remember, I was forgetting to get the money.

I was forgetting that I was getting paid for stuff.

Did you ever get the actual money?

I did?

But I would forget every shot.

I think so because I was also not a person who was counting the money like that dude.

I was like, cool, got the money, good, thanks it away, And I was like, oh, I probably should count.

I was just having fun.

I was, and I was like, Wow, it's funny that I get paid to do this.

And I still feel like that a lot of times, you know what I mean, Like I'm still thinking like, wow, you actually get money to do the thing that you would want to do anyway, you know what I mean, Like whether it's music or writing a book is kind of like wow.

So were you were you actually present in the beginning?

I was like really, so, you're just really anxious throughout the whole thing.

For like a number of years, I was too anxious to enjoy it, you know, like and then then it hit me later on when I was overseas, I was like, you know, I know you're really nervous about because I talked to myself out loud, you know, I told you that.

I was like, I know you're really nervous about this.

Like when you're by yourself, you're you're talking out loud.

People will literally be like, oh, I thought you were on the phone.

I was like, oh, no, that's just me.

Or they'll just come into a room and I'm just standing in front of the wall.

Do you know why it's out loud?

Because I think, I mean, it could be like maybe I'm just connecting with my higher self or because it's not usually like what am I doing?

And it's usually like I'm so mad about this thing?

But it's like, well, why are you mad?

Because I just feel like it's just really I guess I really really upset about X, Y and Z.

Well, first, I mean, it's good to acknowledge that you're mad, but maybe I mean it sounds I didn't realize how crazy it was.

So I saw this one thing about a serial killer and I was like, ooh, I like that I know.

It's like when you see movies or you know, me shooting movies and stuff like that, there's always this conversation with yourself and it's out loud.

And so I don't talk to myself out loud, but I'm wondering, you know, I was oneondering if the movies was just it's just depict in real life like some people do talk to themselves out loud.

Yeah, so you're saying it like, I'm like, Okay, there are people that.

Really do that because sometimes you sometimes you can get outside of your emotional stelf on what's going on, and you can connect to like a deeper part of yourself and that's the part that we'll be speaking to you and talking through like whatever is going on, right, and it helps to kind of see things from a different perspective in that way.

So that's kind of like what.

I know, what I think, I do it seem but I don't talk like I don't, I don't talk.

I'll be like.

I'll be doing that, okay, talking to myself.

It's crazy.

It's like Jason, it makes me be like, are you going to are you going to.

Blow it up?

Oh my god?

But yeah, I don't think for me like that's that's the only time I've ever like that's talked out loud.

I'll just be going through like showing me and song stuff and and.

And I don't know, just maybe are you playing both parts?

Because she plays both parts.

What she's doing, she.

Sits on both sides their levels to it, so she's she's on the expert level like I'm beginners.

I'm just I'm just still expressing one side of the conversation, which is I'm not out loud, but I do find myself like like mumble whispering, like what's on my mind, and and everybody looking at this.

It helps to say it out loud sometimes.

But I don't know what that is because I do that when I'm singing.

It don't sound like nothing, but there was the lyrics that you're singing.

Or sometimes it's lyrics, and sometimes it's just a vibe.

Sometimes OK, talk talk talk, and.

So I do I get it.

I highly recommend it for people to try if they ever have, like, like in all seriousness, if you're ever like going through something and then you're trying to figure it out, because we all have that part of us that's that's who we are, like on a soul level, Like that's not necessarily your personality.

That's not what you're going through.

That's not it's beyond emotion.

It's not the it does not.

It only witnesses.

It's not it does not feel the emotion.

It witnesses and watches.

And that's why I say it's like your higher self or not.

So when you're you're like, I don't know, I'm like really worried about this thing.

Okay, you really worried about well, you're worried about that now because this is happening.

But but know that on the other side of this that you know what there is that you have to do with this thing.

I know, but it's just like I'm trying to figure out how to get this and this, but it'll be figured out.

It will be figured out.

It's like, yeah, I know that.

Okay, and you do all of that.

I do all that, but I might be like in front of like sometimes in front of my bookcase, like my son came and you're like mommy, he's like, oh, you're talking to yourself.

Because sometimes I'm saying or I might be ruminating the things like about life, and I'll say it out loudis because they're honest.

They just honest gets.

They'll be like, oh, okay, I thought you were.

I can't tell that you're on the phone sometimes because you have your ear pods on, but so I don't know if you're talking to someone or just yourself.

I'm like, oh, thanks baby for your patience.

You know, did you talk about like how anxious you were and and just in the early stages of this, did you ever get a chance to feel like you were being successful?

Did you ever get a chance to really like like se really see it.

I'm going to do that this time because I don't actually have like, there's some things I'm gonna do differently.

And I was like, Amory, this is what we're gonna do, because you know, normally I'd be like, oh, I don't like photo shoots.

I hate doing this those kind of things.

And my dad was like, you know, if you're going to do this, Amory, you need to just do you know, do it all the way, do the things.

I know you don't like some of the stuff, but do those parts.

And I was like, yeah, you're right, daddy, I am going to do that.

This is like a couple of years ago.

So this time I remember like I was going to do a photo shoot.

I was like, Oh, here we go.

I'm gonna do the photo shoot.

Don't want Can we be done with it?

Can do it real quick because I'm really to take pictures.

I never looked to it and I said no, Amory, And I actually wrote it on a piece of paper, like in February.

I said that those those old things.

I said, We're gonna that's the old you.

We're going to sacrifice that old you because the old you, that's the old you, that's not you anymore.

The new you loves to do photo shoots.

The new you loves to I always love to go to events when i'm there, but the lead up of going to the event made me anxious and dreaded.

But then everyone's like, but you, you never be wanting to leave you at the club because I love I actually like going to the club, and I like going to like ratchet club.

I don't like going no bougie club.

I like.

I like a hood club.

That's what I like because those are fun when people dance and it's just like it's just the vibe is different.

So I was like, we're gonna we like going out, and we like going to things, and that's what it's going to be.

And because inside you do like that.

So we're gonna put aside the old things that didn't serve any kind of real purpose.

We're also going to enjoy the moment because I started learning that at the very end, but I didn't really we're going to get you your plaques.

You don't have no plaques, but you've never.

Care.

I don't really care about it.

I should have sent it to you anyway.

I was like, you should look at your thing.

Okay, we'll do that.

We'll do that costs money.

Where's the money do?

I just didn't send you the money for that.

So I was like, we're gonna get your plaques, because I was always so like, it's like, do you want your plaques?

And I was always like, no, I don't know.

I don't I don't really uh later later later when it well, we'll wait till another point when I get them.

And then I kind of forgot about them, so I don't have, like I think I have one from like France to this one record produce, the record producer that I did a song for, and then I think I might have I don't know, but I don't have like a single plaque if I don't have any of those things that I think.

I have some awards like you usuldly give those to my parents, and there were some different things, but I was like, you know, I know what's going on.

You're not in You're not in the moment.

You're so like this, so focus on it.

You're you're missing the journey.

And I was like, I don't.

I don't want to miss the journey because when you when you're so focused on just getting to your destination, you realize when you get there, there's nothing there.

It's only you.

When you get to the top of the mountain, it's only you, there's there's no one.

No one ever talks about that because then no one won't want to make the track.

But the whole point is like how it was getting up the mountain, and I just didn't see that.

So that's why I was like, you don't have to co pleaux.

You know, I know some girls they be having like cute like photos, you know, the photos even going to the girl's bathroom and she got like the picture of her like this, like you know, I was like, you don't have no photos yourself, like not even one.

I was like, no, none of those things because you never were concerned about it.

But you want to look back.

It's kind of like little signposts like oh, I did this thing, I did that thing.

I said, so we're gonna do things a little differently this time.

Are we gonna be out of that now?

I always go back to that, just because it's just what does that really mean?

Though?

Really, honestly, I mean, that's really just having a good time.

Everybody has a different definition from outside, and that's that's the thing.

It's like, Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna have a really good time because I was too anxious the first time around to like enjoy anything honestly, because I was like so anxious about it and too nervous, Like when I would go into a city, I was too nervous to do anything because I was just like dreading the thing and is everything going to be right with the sound and the lighting and the show itself and the run through and what do I need to do?

I'm like, girl, you are in wherever Germany you are in, Let's go to get something to eat.

Let's run by that like the quick stop of that museum thing or that one thing you wanted to see and you.

Didn't do any of that.

I have dinner with like the promoters or whatever, because they would always want to do dinners and they would always say, oh, she's just not going to do dinner, which I felt bad about, but they didn't understand.

It wasn't because I didn't want to do dinner with them.

I was just too nervous about the stuff.

I said, We're going to go do dinners.

We're gonna enjoy because this is an experience.

So my whole outlook is is different.

So is it am the influencer now are you?

Huh?

I don't want you to be out here influence you.

I mean no, I don't like that term, but I definitely will.

I want to experience everything, and I'm not anxious about it because I also realized too that there's a lot going on in the world, and it's like, it's so easy to feel like the things that we do, like as artists, because there is a certain level of self absorption that we have.

You know what I'm saying, But ain't nobody really pay attention to you that much all day?

Every day?

They're going to see it and then they're going to move on to the next thing.

So it's like for you, it feels like, oh, it's not that dire, it's not that dire.

Just have fun.

I also think part of having fun is is as an artist is the delegation part of it, which frees you up.

In so many ways.

And so it took many years for me to take my hands off of things and just trust people to do what they're supposed to do in the way that they know I like it.

So somehow I feel like.

Whether it be a sound man or a manager or you know, any of these things, it's like the relationship and trusts has to be so where you can go to sleep and wake up, or just get into a city, not go to soundcheck.

You know what I mean.

You ain't even showing the soundcheck.

No, I mean, my my guys know how.

You want to sound, how I like my.

Stuff, You know what I mean?

And we we now we do rehearse it and practice it so that we know and maybe in the first city we do one, maybe in the second city, just to just to touch it up and make sure.

But once I once, once, once I walk in the building, I'm just I'm just vocalizing and doing push ups and doing push ups.

Okay.

I was believing that that thought that was like a metaphor for like getting ready, but I was.

Like, literally, like they want to see these things, so so you know, it was that delegation that freed up a lot of space.

All this approving this and doing the Sundary.

I got push ups to do, I got some crunches, come on.

Come on, and I could I could rest.

I could really go to sleep before a show and really wake up like ready.

That's hard to do though, because I am like super pixel and when it comes to like artwork, for instance, I almost got to do it.

I'm like, what about the colorization and what about because I can tell when this is here, but it should be here because the balance between the space and here here, and a lot of people don't see that, and.

I suffer from it terrible actually, But I had to take my hands off of things, like I had to actually start, Like Jay helped me start appreciating things that were so obscure and so not right.

Okay, okay, so.

Right, especially music like Jay.

It's not right, he said, but it feel good.

Okay, I can see that it would be so wrong but right.

But once I, once I threw away my musical education and and and and my my pulsh gift, And once I threw all that to the side and just started being present and was just what's happening, and stopped listening with just being objective and and and giving it all a chance, I started enjoying things that I'd never enjoyed before.

I can totally see that conversation happening between you and because because Jay is just like very straightforward too and not overthinker.

He's like, listen, no, he's he's an absolute overtaking he also he's also willing to just do away with his overthinkings.

I shap rocking, now, yeah, that's what I mean, very instinctive.

Its just like yeah, I mean, and I think for me and for him, right, we come from two different size of music, right.

I learned music in a sense from the streets ultimately, you know what I mean.

And he learned music from theory and from church and you know, all the right things.

And I learned the way.

Not even I tease him because he's got a baby face.

I'm like, I was actually good, well, I did my things, but from a from a music standpoint, I didn't understand any theory.

I still don't to this day.

I don't understand it.

I can't.

I can tell you what the.

Middle C is on the keyboard, and it really goes as far as that, like they can start talking about chords and the progressions of this and I'm like, yeah, listen, all that is weird.

How do we make.

It sound good?

How does it feel?

How does it feel?

How do we make it feel good?

And I think him and I coming together and working together, we found this happy medium of like, Okay, it's very talented still, but it's digestible.

The actual world.

Sounds like a perfect marriage actually between because it's like having that theory, but at the end of the day, it is feeling.

It is emotional.

And then he started pointing stuff out to me, you know where it was like, no, Jay, it sounds like this because of that, and I'm.

Like, ah, he is a piano keyer, you yeah.

So, And I think the other part was just us trusting, us trusting and having that respect of being like, Okay, he know what he's talking about on this side of it.

So I'm smiling just because I'm like, it's a real story.

Yeah, no, it is though talent, it really is man and it has helped us.

Okay, back they can't wait to sing another verse of road Story?

Do we get to this one?

Thing?

Is it?

Is?

It?

Is?

It?

Is it time to go there?

I think yeah, because let me think of there is there anything?

Because because like you do it with Why Don't We Fall in Love?

You do it with talking talking talking, you do it and now it's time to do it again.

Oh second album?

Is there?

Pressure?

There was pressure, and you know what there was There was a little bit of me learning like what I really loved to because between the two albums, I did a movie.

And that's why I you know, because there's there's writing and reading and writing, there's music, there's there's acting, and that's when I learned that I liked acting.

Third best, I was like because I was on set, I went into it like I'm really excited to do it and it was a great experience.

I was really excited to do it.

But I remember I was like, I really need to get into the studio.

When is this movie done?

This is great?

But when I was like, wow, you really like this, but this is this lets you know where you prioritize it.

So the second album, one big thing I wanted differently was I wanted to move, because that's what I actually said in the first album I'm sorry, excuse me.

The first album, it was kind of like moody and a vibe.

Actually, a lot of people would come up to me and they'd be like, whit, why don't we fall in love?

Yes?

Right, But then they would also say and maybe I just died, But then they would say, your personality feels so different, Like I was expecting a different kind of vibe from you when before I met you.

I was like like what, and they were like, I don't know, it's just like more like chill because your album is so chill.

And I was like, yeah, that's the opposite of me actually, but that's the side of me too.

It's just different.

But I knew that at the time.

I had told Rich when we were creating it, I really want to be on stage and I want to dance.

I want to dance, and I'm I'm into like rocking out on stage.

That's like what I want to do.

We just hadn't figured out what how do you do?

Yeah?

With the music would because we were just going with the flow of the music, and it wasn't that, so I was like, we got to get it this second time around.

So I remember when he was playing that and a couple other songs like for that project, and I wasn't really sure where we were going with it at first, because it was also like kind of confused.

It was a lot going on.

I think I actually specifically said that it's a lot going on.

I was like, and even just scratching here is probably how I felt inside, like I don't understand what is going on.

What's happening.

Like sonically, it's a lot, but it had that go go feel.

I could understand that.

But then there was some other moments because you know, Richard likes to flip a lot of things, so it was like some other stuff happening, and then then the melody is doing something else.

I was like, I gotta like I had to ride with him a little bit for that because I was like, I know this is dope, it's something special, but I just don't understand.

What that was was, because yeah, it wasn't a thing that we had heard.

Before and putting it together.

Let's the go go elements were in there, but that wasn't go go and you.

Know DMV, so you know what I mean, It's like, yeah, the elements are there, but other stuff happening.

So it's like what is ahead?

What otherworldly?

No, there was nothing like that, so it could be hard to be like.

Because you take a chance.

Yeah, I'm just trying to you know.

It's not even like I'm thinking as far as taking a chance at that point, I'm like, I'm trying to understand what I'm listening to, you like, what the process, what's happening?

You know what I mean.

And then then I was like, all right, let's do it.

We started recording, and I felt like there was something special, but I wasn't sure what everyone else was going to think, because I didn't know if everybody else would think kind of how I felt.

But I was a person who notoriously I don't notoriously didn't get first listens.

I do now.

I remember like growing up as a kid TLC read all all the dope records.

I was like, I don't get it, and don't get me.

I was just missing I don't get it the first listen.

So that's when I started to change and come out of that.

So I didn't know if I wasn't getting it because that's just my usual I don't get it, or if it's is just not like ungettable, if that makes any sense.

Even after we recorded, I was like, I don't know what this is.

I was like, it feels great, Like the feeling of it is great.

I don't really know other people are gonna get it because it also, you know, I don't have like an eight O eight in there, and I love eight o eights because I'm you know, also grew up in Texas too, so to me, I would just listen to you know, DJ Magic Mike there was a Magic Mic or just d DJ Mike or just DJ Magic anyway.

It was like just basse.

I was like, when I grow up and I have a car, I'm gonna have a car with base in it, and it's gonna be like a lowrider with a bunch of base in it.

That's what I want.

Like, that's that's it.

Eight O waights.

So I would always ask Rich anyway, like where the drums?

That's what I used to always ask Rich Harrison, Who's like, where are the drums?

He was like, we're talking about I was like, I don't hear the drums, you know we're talking about.

I was like, so, where's that.

He's like, oh, you're talking about he was like, he was like, oh, you're talking about eight weights.

I was like, yeah, can we put some in this?

He was like no.

I was like just try it.

No.

I think actually a couple of times he did put them in there and like but I was like, oh, He's like, okay, I did your eight awaights.

I was like, where is it.

I was like, it's not doing them.

He's like, it doesn't go with this.

One of the classes rattling in the truck I did.

I did that had been a whole different artist.

I did, like you do you understand how how sonically like as I like, as I'm just listening to this these songs in my head replaying them, I don't know who else could have sang them, because it needed a certain texture and a certain energy in order for it all to make sense.

I don't think you were the calm in the storm, right because because your voice wasn't It wasn't the calm, but it was the constant, you know.

It was like it was like the thing that we could reach to and hold.

On to stuff and be making me feel like I guess any artists like we'd be doing stuff because it's like the way you said it makes it sound.

Like it's so think of it this way, right, If it wasn't everything that I'm saying it was, it wouldn't matter today, And it fucking matters.

And you feel it when you get on stage.

You feel it when you walking down the street, you know what I'm saying.

You feel it when you're outside now, you feel it when they when they saw you at the Brandy and Monicatur and he was on the Rise or the O.

You feel it because those those those moments in those songs and and and what you did, they didn't matter.

It was it was classic.

Did you know you were making classics?

You know at the time.

No, although we did have a conversation, like Rich and I did have a conversation.

He was like, you know, it's gonna be class People can say this is a classic album.

That was the first album though, But then we were also like, because we do feel like it's a great album, and everyone's first album is the introduction is always like the classic.

And I was like, I know, and then they're going to be like, why don't you make another one like this.

We were having that conversation while we were still creating.

I didn't even have a record deal yet.

It was then they're gonna be like, why don't.

You do it like the first time the album that's not even out yet.

Yeah, we got a record.

It's gonna be a classic, right, And I was like, I know.

And then people are going to be like, why don't you make more like this?

And we're like, that's what happens.

It's the thing.

He was like, get ready and I was like yeah.

I was like you get ready.

I did it, did we did, did it and it It's been a great, a great journey.

But also I do feel like when we did put some art into the world that didn't quite exist in the way that it was when we put it out, and that felt really good.

Yeah, you are an originator, you can the ego with part of me says yes, But then there's another.

On the Army Money podcast, Okay, because we're here to celebrate you, and today it is okay for you to celebrate yourself and it's okay for you to say, yes, I did that.

But even if I don't feel like it came, because I feel like it's I feel like that art comes It's not wrong.

It's not wrong.

Okay, let's say you were a vessel.

I was that vessel.

Come on, chose me?

Okay, she said it, We got it.

Let's make that sound back.

She said, nobody's better than her.

She said she's the greatest of all times.

Earlier you said that you had stepped away.

Yes, and you know, I don't know.

You don't have to go heavy into super heavy into that, but you know, is there is there a part of the thought process, in the whys and the house, in that space that you would like to share.

I started a cult.

No you did, I did?

You?

Did you start writing books?

Yeah?

I decided to write.

Now it was a culture.

I created my own religion.

Thinking no, I actually stopped to write books.

But the reason why one Something was calling to me.

Right.

I felt like somehow I wasn't fulfilled and I couldn't put my finger on why that was.

And then I realized those two things that was one, and I realized that I just felt at the time I couldn't see the value on what I was doing.

That's ultimately what it was.

I didn't realize till later, but I did at the time, feel like there has to be it has to be more than this.

It has to be more than just you know, I'm making some songs.

I'm on stage, I'm like, Okay, I feel pretty cute.

Did it dude to get me Ina da da dah and that power that we talk about that when you like you feel when you're on stage.

But I was like, boo, there has to be more, though, why why why why?

What's the where's the why?

I didn't have the why.

At the time, I had the what and the how, I didn't have the why, like what is the purpose in this?

And then at the same time, I was feeling like I miss something, like I miss like papers and like the smell of paper and the smell of books, and there's there's so many things story.

Then that was before I realized I was missing story.

Then I realized I miss stories.

And it's like, yeah, that's why I've been trying to put these stories in these videos, but they don't fit because the kind of video I want to make is like astronomically expensive, like I want like the snow that I need another planet.

And you know what, Chris rob And pulled it in for me because when we did the video for Touch, I had told him.

I was like.

He was like club, some dancing stuff, you know, some sexy stuff, and I was like, yeah, sexy, but also I need two moons.

This is another planet.

We have landed on this other planet, we're another species.

I don't really know, but it still looks like human.

But we need to be somewhere else.

And he was like, I got you.

I can at least.

I was like, tell me what you can do.

I couldn't get all the effects that I wanted because again, that was really expensive and the story I wanted to tell was like a little longer.

But he did give me two moons and he built a jungle in the parking lot, and so when I got there, I was like, Okay, that's great, but people won't really get that when they see the video.

They'll probably like see it kind of sorta and it's like in the club and it's hot and sexy, but there was also a story there, and I was like, I can't tell the stories.

Like I had another video.

I was like, it's post apocalyptic kind of mad Max vibes, but I couldn't tell a story I wanted.

I did have me hanging off of a truck.

Though there's a lot of things that I want to happen, like I want a lot of your stuff to pieces, but not the full thing.

Fully tell that story.

Thank you?

Was that your way of being like, girl, you're taking too long to tell the story.

I know it's hard for me to articulate that sometimes that thank you for leaving me back on the path.

I couldn't tell the stories that I wanted to, and so I was like, you just I think you missed a story.

You want to write books, and you know what, this is a good time anyway, because you're feeling like somehow you don't know what the purpose is for this other thing, which is music.

Just step away for a while.

Just do that.

And then I kept doing little things here and there and put like a song out or something like that, but I wasn't like really doing it.

But I always knew though I knew again the voice, you know, it's not even the voice, it's just the others.

The me, the deeper me, was like, you know that this is gonna come back around.

I don't know when, but it is going to come back around, and it's going to be You're going to be in a place where you really get it, and it's going to be better on and so many levels because you're going to understand the why.

You're going to have your why eventually.

But I didn't know one that was going to be.

And it turned out to be like fifteen years later or fifteen depending on how you look at it, fifteen twenty years later.

So now I get it, though, I get it, and it took me a long time to understand essentially how art is important and even though you're not caring cancer, even though you're not a doctor saving lives, even though you're not stopping wars from happening, you soundtrack the lives of people.

People are.

We're human beings.

We need to connect, We need that energy, We need the music.

That's why you can never create the thing that people want that people are like, they want the music that they heard when they fell in love with you, whether it's your first album or they found you on your second or third album, that album for them was their introduction to you.

And the reason why you were introduced to them was because they were going through something at that time where your music resonated with that.

You can't recreate that, you know, I can't recreate that for someone because this is your experience.

This music was just giving you what you needed to be you.

So to ask me to recreate something is asking me to make you feel like where you were then.

But that you can do that, I can't give you that.

I can only give you a marker like a sign post.

Right.

But once I understood how the music can touch people in that way, in more than a theoretical way and more than a oh the music that gets you know, people through We knew that already when we got into the music industry because we knew what that did for us.

But when I really understood what that was, I understood the gift that it is.

And it's like a gift and it's also a service for people, and it's not about you as an artist like to just like blow up your own head or whatever.

It's like you're in this position to help someone and to spread good energy or whatever energy somebody needs for their thing.

So I was like, I was like, see, that's why it's time.

That's why that's why the alignment alignment is happening now, because now you understand that on a deep level versus just feeling like it's about you just making records and I'm very competitive actually, right, Like I always would approach records as and the music business is a sport, you know what I mean, and with like a lot of like bravado inside not outside.

But then I realized, too, it's it's not really that.

And I was never like a rapper necessarily like how the rappers compete like in hip hop.

But it was like, so I kind of knew art is you're always competing against yourself really, but I just was missing that one why And then I then I understood it more fully, and then I had so I found my purpose and then I was like it's time.

I actually literally called Troy or I call my manager at the time, and was like, hey, you cause we had met with Troy already, Troy Taylor's who we still kicked it off with, right, And I was like, yeah, I guessaid.

I had this epiphany in the kitchen and I was like, that is now.

I was like, okay, it's now, I feel it.

I called and was like tell Troy, like ready to go in see what's going on with his schedule.

They're like, are you sure?

You know?

You always you do these these things and you cancel it, and you change your mind, you change your mind for years, right, And I was like, no, this is time.

It's like for real time now.

And I'm actually gonna call my agent.

I'm gonna let her know.

I'm gonna put the book club on hiatus.

I'm gonna put them books down.

And I still love my books, you know, but for right now, we're going focus on the music.

Focus on the music.

I'm gonna go on hiatus for at least one year.

And I was like, because this is the time.

Now, I get it.

I understand what I needed to understand.

Everything is timing, but it's not just random timing.

It's divine timing.

And sometimes we can say like this is this is divine orchestration, right, like like this is the thing, but really everything is divine orchestration.

Even when you stub your foot, right, you stubb in your foot, or you can't find your keys and you're trying to go out, it's because you see, everything is like threaded through to perfection.

And some of the things that we call like oh this was divinely orchestrated, it's just because it's a bigger signpost, you know what I mean.

It's like you come through and it's like, fact, yes, I believe that we did it, Like in our between lives, like I'm gonna go there and this is the thing I have to learn.

So it's gonna be a lot of paths between this and this, but I know this has to happen or I have to meet that person or this particular hardship or whatever it is has to happen.

And in between it can be all these threads, but there are threads between them.

But these are the things that are definitely gonna happen.

And those are the things that I think when we kind of feel like we all have that thing where we kind of knew we were going to get that job or move to this place, It's like I just kind of knew it.

It's because it was already said you know what I.

Mean and that and that's what you have for us now right.

I'm sorry you lost me.

You said I missed that.

That would have been great.

Sorry, That's what I told you.

The other that people have no idea how hilarious you are.

You're not even trying to be like you are hysterical than what I'm saying is that you're why you know why and you are in in that space as we speak, I am, and you had something for us, yeah, because.

I was like, wait, well, I was like to tell me, was the scene today.

Like the stage play oh my first love?

No?

No, But I'm just saying in terms of delivering, delivering us, you know what I mean, you back in the music, back in in this musical space that I know that we know you belonging the book book club is awesome.

I love want, we want you back saying, and we're glad that you are right.

And then she's showing up to the hood clubs.

Yeah, I'm working on you got classes anyway, She in classes in Atlanta, Guys.

You know she she's you know what I'm saying.

If you're looking, she's doing it.

She's around since we're on this music thing, since we on this music thing, you know, and the research of Amory back outside you have you have to define that.

For the people because apparent outside Netflix and Chill, I thought Netflix Chill was really watching something and chilling.

Yeah, and it became something else, and it became something else.

No, no, no, chilling can be Chill.

Was never a Netflix and Chill.

It was always been Netflix and chill, but everybody chills differently.

I just realized you got to get them definitions together.

First, start saying, when you're outside, you grown ass woman.

When you go outside, you can do whatever you want to do when you outside.

Yeah, you have to define that for nobody.

Nobody to boss you.

I know I'm the boss.

I literally told somebody that the other day.

Ship told you had that.

He said, that's literally my job.

I said, why are you trying to be the boss of me?

He was like, that's literally my job.

All right, nobody, Ship, you're back.

I'm outside outside in my way.

Put a record out, chatting putting music out.

Yeah, and I've seen it.

We've talked about it.

I've seen just how just the type of energy that you got back from different artists, from the public and just people that are appreciative of the fact that.

You want to do it again.

Yeah.

How does that feel for you?

That feels you know, it's it is humbling, because I never like to assume that people like, are you looking at your phone?

You bored?

I'm so sorry that I'm not entertaining enough.

No, okay, no, no, don't you do this.

I know that there's a very someone must have been in the hospital.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah, that's that's the only thing that would have They're back to life though.

No, But you know, you never know, Like it's like I feel like sometimes like there's a few things going on with me because on one hand, you know, know, like if people like your stuff, I just mean just generally, like if they like your music, not a particular song, but maybe they just don't like it.

Or I feel like when I went when I went through this whole experience of like becoming like a recording artist, it's not like I was a kid doing it first, right, I went to college, I went to high school.

I worked in like AFC, Like, hi, ow KFC, would you like you know, would you like cool creamy dessert with that?

You know, we had to ask that at the end.

I had like these very like Americana type situation growing.

I was a backer at the grocery store, you know what I mean.

Like, so for me to come into it was not like I never confused it for who I am is what I do making music is who I am.

Being an artist.

I am an artist, like period, right, You're just an artist.

But I never felt like when I got in the music business, like this is who I am.

It's like, oh, this is what I do, and people love me.

But what they really mean is that they love how I make them feel.

So I never got it twisted right.

So to feel like getting the love that I that I get, it always feels like surprise to me.

And it also feels unexpected, you know, like oh wow, really like it's something I don't know.

Well, I hope I don't lose that because then maybe I would be taking that for granted.

So I think I'm still getting used to it.

Probably, Sorry, it was just giggling because it's different from the ladies and the fellas.

Sometimes, why are you looking like that?

Because you know, my fan base is like sixty percent men.

Actually, most R and B is like women fan base, but my fan base is oddly like half and half with a little bit more male.

So you know what I think it is.

I think it actually is because it's a really great blend of hip hop and R and B.

As far as like when it came out, like the sound at that time, a lot of guys that didn't listen.

To Yeah, I feel weird as a man, you don't feel weird.

I got a lot of that, Like, you know, I don't normally listen.

I don't normally do this, but I.

Think it's a I think another great new great part of that is you've and it's weird.

I don't know, maybe maybe you've kind of figured this out on purpose.

But it's like being sexy, being beautiful, but not being sexualized.

Like I told you on the outside of the New Day.

You want, it's a thing where it's never it's never been viewed as as extra or.

I like so much, or that's what I actually told my team when I first came out.

I was like, listen one, I don't.

I was like, I'm in charge of me.

I was like, I definitely am all for I love short shorts.

You already see me in my short shorts.

I wore short shorts in school.

But if I any bikini stuff, it's kind of because I want to do it.

I'm not gonna let anybody just go in and try to sell me or whatever, which actually was cool because actually the label actually was kind of more like Donnie Einer was the head of the label at the time.

He actually thought that the cover of my back cover of the album was too much.

It was like it was really just like kind of what would be equivalent to boy shorts or biker shorts, like to hear with my legs out from the side.

It was a great pick.

But he was like, what is this I heard about the meeting?

What is this all?

Oh the thing?

You know?

You're like he wasn't pleased, but I was me and that's what I wanted.

So for me, it was like really important to like, oh, my own sexuality, you know what I mean.

But then I also told them too, my personality.

I was like, I'm not a hard sexy person.

That's not my vibe.

My vibe is more like soft sexy and more sensual.

Like that's as far as like an aesthetic.

So as long as we stay in that direction, I'm gonna be good.

And so you guys know who I am a great great job of that, thank you.

And I don't want to lead with that though.

I was like, let's remember it's about the music, because I don't want it why.

I think the music was able to do it do what it did because it wasn't It wasn't anything overshadowing it.

Mm hm, you know what I mean.

It was like I said before, it was a good blend of all those things.

Thank you.

So we're happy because we don't like when we don't like when our classic artists are on around.

We just don't.

Yeah, No, I think I feel like so happy because I feel like people are really appreciating R and B.

And you have so many artists, you know, who are really doing it.

But there's so like I feel like I almost like a resurgence of fans, like the brand new fans with like the TikTok era.

There's so many people who are getting exposed to the music and appreciating it.

So it's like new all over again, which is amazing.

And you know, let's let's be real.

So so many of us, so many artists pretty much look the same.

I can name so many guys and so many girls that that or you know, men and women, female artists, male artists who who do look the same.

And so it's like that kind of helps I think, connect with like the different generation or whatever.

So everyone's just doing their thing and I'm I'm happy for that.

I'm happy to be a part of different than they did back in the day.

It's a different time, different times.

I think it's like a different music, a different makeup.

I was just thinking that because I don't know what it is.

I think it's you know what I think it could be.

I think a lot of aging has to do with your mentality, and I think with music, music keeps you young.

But also like our like culturally just generally across the population, we kind of back in the old days, like our parents and their parents, they would listen to different music from what the kids were listening to.

Now everyone kind of listens to the same music.

We're kind of wearing the same clothes.

We kind of you're allowed to kind of still in your mind be feeling like whatever you feel without feeling like you have to now you're this and now you're having to look like that.

Yeah, it's just like more like growing into yourself.

But you know, aging and stuff, that's like it's all like a matter of mind too.

I mean I say that slight digression, just very slight, I promise you know, because I was talking to my dad about like aging like just programming, and they were like, you know, even when people sing happy Birthday, those are all like little programs because it gets to a person's mind, oh, you're this, and aging means that and another year older versus like time existing on a certain level on this plane, but not really you know what I mean.

It's like it's not not totally.

A lot of it is programming.

And my Dad's like, well, you know, things get older.

I was like, they do, Daddy, but think about it, alligators, think about trees.

I was like, there's this one little like squid or something like that.

I think it's like exolotols.

I can't even pronounce the word.

But that little squid goes from like a poll up in the ocean and starts to have little legs, swims about, and then once it hits a certain point, the legs start to retract and it reverse ages back into a little pile up a little dot, and then it starts over again.

So the scientists aren't really sure how long that lives.

I say that to illustrate the concept that aging as we see it, aging as we think it is not just like this chronological, single directional thing.

It's a lot of it.

There's so many different possibilities on a physical level.

That's before you even enter like the mind body connection to it, like the spiritual aspect to it, just on a physical level.

And then you want to talk about like in the ancient times when people were living to be like three hundred, four hundred, five hundred, six hundred years old.

For reasons we won't get into on this podcast because I make it too long and too much of a digression.

But yep, you're gonna have to show up on time next year because.

I'm saying that to me right now, available right he's about to act really talented and play us the selection hopefully soft and sexy.

Something soft and sexy, because that's my five as I play these soft and sexy tunes.

Oh no, and now it's getting to the part that I was anxious about.

We're not going to be anxious at all.

We're going to be.

Soft and just come questions sexy things you might want to know.

Okay, doing our soft and sexy mode and vibe.

Wait, there's information that we need.

The people want to know what they want to know.

Chair A, Marie, what yourd.

Top five?

Your top five is soft and sexy, top five, Joy.

To the easy thing.

Guys, already soul.

We've got to do big thought you were on.

This up selling body.

No, yes, the top tap.

Your top f Nay, Marie, it's top five.

R and B.

Singers, okay, Top five R and B singers well, Mary J.

Blige, Michael Jackson, Yes, Marvin Gay, I'm naming my these are my influences.

You're right.

David Ruffin had an opportunity to tell his son that, like years ago, I was like your dad.

I was like your dad, like a big influence.

That's also with my dad's favorite singers as well.

Number five is hard because Sam Cook is another influence of mine.

Like Marvin Gay really influenced me as far as like his wall of sound, his melodies, his approaches like those background vocal like vocal arrangements, but Sam Cooks simplicity and a lot of these are like my dad's influences too, or as far as like from his once Sam Cook.

What I really got from Sam, what I learned from him was that you don't have to do a lot of vocal acrobatics.

It was like the simple, like clean delivery.

But the reason why I'm like, oh, it's like an asterisk because I could say Sam Cook, but then I also want to put in oh, it's R and B Okay, okay, because what I was about to say it was not R and B though, was like like the Grease soundtrack, like that time like kind of like or like haull of Notes, you know what I mean?

Like there's those kind of R and B kind of sometimes you want to who who?

I think it would be like haul of notes.

M that's there's a duo.

Oh no, I can't, mister Sam Cook.

I gotta have Sam, yes, because he really taught me a lot because I used to think, like, man, I don't really do a lot of those vocal acrobatics like when I was in high school and should I try?

But I was like, no, you shouldn't.

I was like, and I would listen to him a lot to be like just capture, capture that.

Okay, you'll feed that right, all right?

Okay, okay, Top five R and B songs.

No, okay, Moments of Love.

That's the instrumentation.

I don't know if it's R and B but kind of right, okay, almost love.

There's so many great ones.

Man, Mary's whole like My Life album.

But if she did she did that used the sample that whole album, that whole album, but I think for her it was called maybe it was on Did she call it All Night Long?

Too?

I always did because I just knew the sample, So.

No, we're gonna go with real Love because that's that's when I was introduced her, and I was like, what is this?

What is this sound?

What was this?

Yeah?

That that would change?

So as a moments of love, real love, there's so many I can't just say an artist, no, this is the songs?

Okay, cry for you?

Why maybe?

Why don't because.

It's just so great?

What's going on?

Marvin Gaye?

Yeah, what's the what's this title?

If this?

Well, Mama Leleve Andrew Wilson and I don't think he did a duet version too, or they added no no no yeah yeah.

But also I think samit Terrell and Marvin did that too.

But I love the Luther version.

Both of those were good.

Did they do?

There were the two versions?

You guys know, you guys know everything.

We don't know everything, but okay, there were two versions.

And Marvin and Luther, right, Okay, Well I'll go with that song because they're both of the versions were good.

Dangs that five already because I was gonna also say herd through the Grapevine too, that's kind of old.

Okay, Top eight, Okay, let's make a vulture on your super R and B artists, Right, you got to pick any artists ever in the history of articism and get the vocal, performance, style, styling, passion of the artists.

A lot.

This question here we go.

So where you're going to get the vocal from to make your super R and B artist one vocal?

You're making the best artist ever one vocal.

But there's so many different flavors, but really one.

I almost want to say what maybe might have to go for?

Maybe Michael Jackson Jackson Jackson sold, Yeah, okay, sold.

Okay, all right, all right, you sure.

I'm going to be unsure.

I'm already letting you know.

This is walking into this with uncertainty.

Okay, we're gonna We're gonna go Jason, Michael Jackson performing style.

These are and women, right, So speaking in essence just.

Greatness, I would say Chris Brown.

Hmmm.

I would asking Chris Brown.

Like styling, the styling, the drip of the artist.

It's gonna get flying styling.

I want to look to a woman for this, mm wait, styling, like is it stage styling?

Stage styling?

I would say Beyonce or Share or something, right, because that could be and and this could be a male artist too, So I would say that taking the essence if we're looking at if someone's imagining a male artist, taking the essence of what they're bringing to the styling, and if we're a female artist and taking the blend of a Share and a Beyonce.

Yeah, yeah, actually, because Beyonce does a lot of the razzle dazzle already and Shared does that too, So I would say Beyonce and Rihanna gets a little bit bringing in two different elements.

Yeah, little blend, different kind of blend, different blend.

Because you're outside, I know where you're going with this.

I don't what's going on.

The passion of the artists, who means it, who makes you believe it, who works hard, gives it everything they got, leaves it all out there on the stage.

James Brown, it's been a lot of James, has there a lot of James Okay.

The original Brown, a lot.

Of Jams Because I was actually I was actually considering switching the two, but because it was that leaves it on the stage like that.

But then I was like no, because I know.

There I was.

I was like, I gotta go old, old school, not old, but go old school.

Back when people were like going out there and fainting and then pulling the cake and then yeah.

Okay, I love it full sweat.

I like that.

Okay, was there another one?

Oh?

I got that completed?

That was pretty good, if I do say so myself.

Yes, I mean I have to add myself in there somehow and nes not.

We're not being hung.

No.

I couldn't because I'd be like, oh, there's you were getting money.

I'm sorry you were getting money for this.

They were like, where's my money?

Amy?

I'm like, oh, wait, what else you got by cheap?

Here we go.

I ain't saying no nature.

I ain't saying no names.

Yeat, ain't saying no name.

Was what you did?

Don't say she?

I ain't saying no name.

So we are at the very, very very important part of the show.

No, I was so nervous.

A lot of people nervous.

Don't be nervous because.

I feel like, I don't know this story.

But you guys have great stories.

Hold me great stories.

Now just take the names out.

Will you tell us a story funny or fucked up?

Are funny and fucked up?

The only rule to the game is you can't say the names.

Come on tell us all the come.

On you, I have not.

We've talked about that.

I don't believe in blocking people.

I just pretended to see them.

It's a whole other type of.

Block, okay, because don't want to make anyone feel bad.

But if I haven't seen it with these chances that I actually haven't seen it though, just putting that out there.

Okay, So this is a Marie.

I ain't saying a name names.

Well, what time at band camp?

I'm kidding, Okay.

So I was, I was doing the show.

There was an over gentleman that was part of the show, and I walked down.

They left their dressing room open, and there was just you know, they're chilling there.

Story's not going where people think.

But I just like, you know, I just want to say hi.

So I was like, oh, I just want to say hig because it was open people coming in and out, and I saw them fixing their hairline with a sharpie m and I said, oh, you know, mister such and such, there's like products for that.

I seen, like the guys do their lineups.

And he was like, there's this worked for me for you, I'm gonna keep on using it.

And I was like, well, He was like, don't come up when you sweat, and I was like, well, is this good?

It is staged this far.

I was like, but they do have products, but whatever works for you, and that was it.

See I told you it wasn't that like major he was hating.

I wasn't hating on it, but there was.

It was really I was really like shocked because I was like, they do actually have product.

But you know, his lineup was clean, he had he had perfected it.

It was a black shark, like a black one, not even dark brown like black.

It was like it had to go with the rest of the die, so it had to be.

But then I was like, it makes sense.

When I started thinking, I looked at other pictures because I had to go back and see.

And I was like.

The fact that you called him mister miss.

Like this, I don't know what to call gentleman.

There are products for that.

You're a barber.

To get you the magic, the right magic.

You need help.

I know a few, get some sharp.

He works in a mind.

Use a little magic myself every now.

He works in a bhind.

No, it doesn't, it does.

If it's dark.

If you're going on a date, don't do if you're going on a.

Date, don't trust her to do that.

Oh yeah, like mister such and such, I don't know that the agent what you want to say?

Do older men not like it when you say, mister ever call.

Me all day love?

Mister I come from the color purple?

Down was mister, But like I was like, how about daddy?

That's actually another Now we're just going on somewhere, but y'all aren't y'all are guys?

I should ask because we have this whole conversation with girls since we're talking about I don't even know how we got to that.

Oh cause you call me mister all you want?

That made me think, daddy, Like, what do you think about when women call men daddy?

There's a time and place.

But not just generally no, like daddy.

Can I have a or a significant Yeah?

But random?

Absolutely no, not random.

I'm talking about if that's that's the.

Person, the significant Yeah.

Okay, So anyway, some people think it's gross.

Some people that was also talking to a bunch of women.

So this is my first time I'm asking men what do you think about that?

Because it was the poppy.

See I'm not Spanish, don't call me poppy.

Not poppy, but dad.

Yeah, I'm saying I'm black.

Call me Dad, What are your thoughts?

I live in my provider's space.

You like it, see I like it.

Whatever you want to say, whatever you want it.

Alive in that provider space, you can call it.

I've never tried that.

I did go to Coachella with my dad.

They were like, white, take your dad at Coachella.

I was like, this was my first time going to Coachella, and I was like, I want Daddy to, like, you know, experience it.

But when we were there, I would say, you know, okay, Daddy, let's go Daddy.

And I was like, I.

Can't insurprising people that thought people a couple.

Of years look a little.

And I was like, Daddy, I can't call you that here.

Dad.

You heard.

That he put the bad Anna.

Ladies and gentlemen, listen.

First of all, thank you, thank you, thank you.

We appreciate you being here.

We appreciate the classics, we appreciate the newness.

We really appreciate that.

We are happy you were back.

Thank you.

It feels it feels really good to be back.

And then here and you're coming back to perform for us at some point.

I am right there.

Get the lighting right, because I know how you feel about lighting.

Yeah, and the lighting is really great.

Yeah, get you right.

It's kind of like professional.

If you look around man, shout out to the sun rose.

Yeah.

Taking care of us man, But we thank you and and you already know anytime you need us, we'll call away.

I am going to remember that, you know, because jo I will be like, so I'm thinking about this.

We think about that.

Easy I take the car, you know that easy work.

There it is, ladies, gentlemen, my name is Tank, I'm Jay Valentine and.

This is the Army Money Podcast, the authority on all things R and B.

This has been music in Books brought to you by none other than Hey.

Thank you