[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Blackwell Burnout podcast, Kelly here.

[SPEAKER_00]: And today I want to start by saying this clearly, because a lot of us need to hear it more than once.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that is, nothing is wrong with you.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm saying that not because everything is fine, but because your reactions and feelings about the world make sense.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you've been feeling a little more emotional than usual or exhausted, more sensitive, [SPEAKER_00]: That doesn't mean you're failing at life.

[SPEAKER_00]: It just means you're responding normally to abnormal conditions.

[SPEAKER_00]: Last week, we talked about how to hold the year gently.

[SPEAKER_00]: How to stop treating January like it's some kind of reset button and start meeting ourselves where we actually are.

[SPEAKER_00]: This week, I wanna go a layer deeper.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're talking about why so many of us immediately turn inward when the world feels overwhelming.

[SPEAKER_00]: Why are first instinct is to ask, what's wrong with me?

[SPEAKER_00]: Instead of what am I responding to?

[SPEAKER_00]: And this happens because we live in a culture that teaches us to internalize and own things that are actually systems problems.

[SPEAKER_00]: When the world feels unstable, violent, unpredictable, [SPEAKER_00]: We don't say, this is too much, we say, let's wrong with me.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if you've been feeling burned out, I want you to know that's not a character flaw.

[SPEAKER_00]: These days, I am redefining burnout as a system's failure that eventually becomes a personal problem.

[SPEAKER_00]: When our systems let us down, we turn inward.

[SPEAKER_00]: when they demand more from our body or a mind or a spirit, more than we can actually give, the cost becomes self-betrayal and abandonment.

[SPEAKER_00]: The natural result is that you're going to override your body's needs and push past limits.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to normalize and add context to the fact that that doesn't make you weak.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's what survival inside of systems that were never designed with your humanity in mind looks like.

[SPEAKER_00]: So from now on, I want you to understand that when I talk about burnout, I'm not just talking about personal failure or ways that we may not be doing what we need to do for ourselves.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm talking about what happens when people are forced to betray themselves just to keep going.

[SPEAKER_00]: When your body is exposed to prolonged stress in so many different ways, it naturally has to adapt.

[SPEAKER_00]: And what that looks like is exhaustion, numbness being overly alert.

[SPEAKER_00]: So when you experience these signs and symptoms, understand that this is just what your nervous system does to keep you safe.

[SPEAKER_00]: And for us as black women, it's important to understand that we are not meant to live in a constant state of like overriding our body's signal.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we're also not meant to endure everything quietly or gracefully without complaint.

[SPEAKER_00]: So much of what we are stuck believing is that strength looks like silence and then more importantly that survival and those strength means we have to engage in some kind of erasing of self.

[SPEAKER_00]: But the good news is there is another way and black or burn out all about this other way and that is to be able to be soft and aware at the same time.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if I'm being honest, this is something I'm learning myself in the past.

[SPEAKER_00]: My instinct was always to when faced with hard things to figure it out or to fix it.

[SPEAKER_00]: What I have been practicing is how to stay with what I'm feeling in the moment.

[SPEAKER_00]: Stay there first.

[SPEAKER_00]: How to have a conversation with my body and let it settle.

[SPEAKER_00]: And this one's really tough, how to let that feeling that intense moment move through my body versus trying to manage it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Basically what I'm talking about is I'm learning how to self-regulate because in general, I don't think we give our bodies enough space to soften, we're constantly carrying tension and it's in every area of our lives.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so the goal for me for 2026 is to be more embodied to be in my body and to feel good while being in it and to manage moments when I don't feel so great.

[SPEAKER_00]: And part of healing for everybody really needs to be how do you support yourself without betraying yourself in the process.

[SPEAKER_00]: and not just like vague support.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, specifically.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's really important for me that I name ways that you can get that support, specifically in your life.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that is through a couple of things.

[SPEAKER_00]: It could be professional care, getting a therapist, talking to a pastor, or a spiritual advisor.

[SPEAKER_00]: It can also look like community.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's so important right now that we don't spend time with people who make our anxiety worse.

[SPEAKER_00]: But rather people who create space for you to come back to yourself.

[SPEAKER_00]: I just love that concept of friendships and community that feels like a homecoming that allow you to come home to yourself.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I am definitely thinking about my relationships [SPEAKER_00]: really being pointed about who in my life makes me feel like I can come home to myself and who in my life makes me feel anxious or stressed out or I would say clinically disregulated.

[SPEAKER_00]: Support also means being discerning about what you can do.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that means understanding what isn't support, when it comes to the content we're consuming, doom scrolling, not support.

[SPEAKER_00]: Watching people crash out for entertainment value, maybe temporarily make sure you get gold, but it's not support.

[SPEAKER_00]: People telling you to hustle or plan your way out of pain, also not support.

[SPEAKER_00]: When you're thinking about the ways that media can be supportive, we're really talking about the nervous system test.

[SPEAKER_00]: What regulates it versus what keeps it on edge.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that means being intentional.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know when it comes to how I guide my relationships and how I guide my content consumption, I'm always kind of thinking of a few things.

[SPEAKER_00]: With relationships, I'm thinking about what gave me hope this week?

[SPEAKER_00]: What made me smile?

[SPEAKER_00]: When I'm having great conversations with people and even if those conversations are us talking about our challenges, which we need to do, [SPEAKER_00]: I always think about how I can end with something that helped me breathe or feel hopeful.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm very intentional about that.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have conversations with friends where I say things like what I'm grateful for.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we end conversations talking about gratitude and talking about the hope piece.

[SPEAKER_00]: Even if we spent a lot of time talking about heartache and it was needed.

[SPEAKER_00]: What's great about that is it doesn't deny or delete what came before, the challenges we're facing, but it does give a conversation a place to land that makes my nervous system feel a little better and not stressed out and not replaying in my mind what I was challenged with over and over and over again.

[SPEAKER_00]: I also do a similar framework to my social media.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think about [SPEAKER_00]: Does it teach me a new skill that makes me feel like I can come home to myself because I'm not so stressed?

[SPEAKER_00]: Did I gather some information that's going to help my life?

[SPEAKER_00]: Did I learn a tip or a tool that's gonna make me breathe easier for the week when I apply it?

[SPEAKER_00]: Did I smile in a way that wasn't at the expense of someone's pain, but really made me feel hopeful about the future?

[SPEAKER_00]: Joyful about seeing someone's success or seeing something that's beautiful to me.

[SPEAKER_00]: We have to be discerning about the support we get because if we don't, we'll just mindlessly scroll and mindlessly engage in conversations that deplete us instead of build us up.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's talk about something too many of us carry in silence.

[SPEAKER_00]: Money.

[SPEAKER_00]: the fear, the shame, the confusion, the pressure to hold it all together when it feels like everything is falling apart.

[SPEAKER_00]: Dead, divorce, caregiving, trying to stretch one, check into two.

[SPEAKER_00]: Financial stress doesn't just drain your bank account, it drains your spirit.

[SPEAKER_00]: but you don't have to figure it out alone.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's a place where you can lay that burden down and get real help, the savvy lady's help line.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's free.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, free.

[SPEAKER_00]: You'll be matched with a certified financial expert for a private one-on-one session, someone who will listen without judgment and help you take the next right step.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can ask the hard questions.

[SPEAKER_00]: How do I start building wealth even if I've made mistakes?

[SPEAKER_00]: How do I get out of debt?

[SPEAKER_00]: What happens to my money after a breakup?

[SPEAKER_00]: How do I put more joy into my budgeting?

[SPEAKER_00]: This call could change your life, because clarity brings peace, and peace with your money is true freedom.

[SPEAKER_00]: Savi ladies is a nonprofit dedicated to helping women, especially women like us, learn, plan, and reclaim control of our financial lives.

[SPEAKER_00]: So please, don't stay in silence.

[SPEAKER_00]: Go to savilates.org and book your free session today.

[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to struggle alone anymore.

[SPEAKER_00]: The second thing you need is a rhythm.

[SPEAKER_00]: So we talked about support.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now we need a rhythm.

[SPEAKER_00]: And when we talk about having a rhythm to your life, really what I mean is some systems.

[SPEAKER_00]: We just need better supportive systems.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because at the end of the day, when things get overwhelming, what we fall back into is the patterns and the rhythm and the systems of our life.

[SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of times for us, and I can speak from personal experience, those rhythms and systems and habits, did the exact opposite of calming my nervous system.

[SPEAKER_00]: I default back to procrastination.

[SPEAKER_00]: I default back to numbing myself out.

[SPEAKER_00]: I overstack my day.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's just what I'm used to.

[SPEAKER_00]: what I've had to be more discerning again about is building systems that help me function when everything around me feels very uncertain.

[SPEAKER_00]: For me and for a lot of other people, that's my morning routine.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not this big 55 step one, but it's a consistent one.

[SPEAKER_00]: I take five minutes every single day to make my bed, to drink some water, to journal, to listen to something grounding.

[SPEAKER_00]: For me, I have an app that does like two to three minute coaching.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.

[SPEAKER_00]: It makes my day.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so when you have a rhythm or a system, it lets you know that even when the world is chaos, that part of my day feels held and safe.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's the great thing, systems do that for you.

[SPEAKER_00]: They are going to reduce decision fatigue and they're going to give your nervous system something that's predictable, it can go back to.

[SPEAKER_00]: So we've talked about support.

[SPEAKER_00]: We've talked about systems and arhythm.

[SPEAKER_00]: The last thing you need is moments where your body can exhale.

[SPEAKER_00]: So you need mindfulness, breath work, [SPEAKER_00]: placing your feet on the floor and noticing where you are, that exercise can be very, very powerful.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we can do that one together now.

[SPEAKER_00]: We can start by placing our feet on the floor, wherever we are, and just noticing that moment, the connection of the ground to our feet.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then we can take the biggest breath we've taken all day today, and inhale.

[SPEAKER_00]: and make sure our shoulders drop in the process.

[SPEAKER_00]: These don't need to be big practices.

[SPEAKER_00]: They just need to be something you can grab at any moment that will bring you back into your body.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm really passionate about this and I call these types of exercises minimal mindfulness.

[SPEAKER_00]: They're small ways to come home to yourself, to come back into your body and they should usually take less than a minute.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm excited about this because I have finally made a YouTube video that walks you through several of these practices step by step.

[SPEAKER_00]: They're not meant to be overwhelming.

[SPEAKER_00]: They're just meant to be practical.

[SPEAKER_00]: If your body has been asking for that kind of care, I want you to have it and hopefully these videos that I'm making and other videos you can search for will give that to you.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's about the fact that you are allowed to care about what's happening in your life and in the world deeply, but without staying in a state of collapse and nervous system flooding.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's part of being able to hold heartache, real heartache and choose joy and hope at the same time.

[SPEAKER_00]: But this is not something you're just gonna arrive to by like instinct or gut reaction.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's a practice.

[SPEAKER_00]: It takes intention.

[SPEAKER_00]: And the good news is it's one you can learn quickly.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's just January all.

[SPEAKER_00]: So we don't have to be stuck, pressuring ourselves, have everything figured out.

[SPEAKER_00]: We don't need the clarity or the five set plan.

[SPEAKER_00]: and allowing our bodies and our brains to set the tempo of the month.

[SPEAKER_00]: So let me say this again.

[SPEAKER_00]: Nothing's wrong with you.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're just responding to a world that's asking for far too much.

[SPEAKER_00]: And you're still worthy of rest.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're worthy of that joy and you are worthy of care.

[SPEAKER_00]: And this episode hopefully gave you some ways to establish and practice that by setting up supports, redefining what a support is and looking hard at the support you have in your life through social media through your relationships.

[SPEAKER_00]: Are they nourishing or depleting?

[SPEAKER_00]: We talked about rhythm or systems.

[SPEAKER_00]: What are the systems you can put in place that will give your nervous system something to fall back on even when the world is on fire?

[SPEAKER_00]: And we talked about mindfulness and minimal mindfulness.

[SPEAKER_00]: How you can come home to yourself, you can step back into your body no matter how stressful the day is.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now next week, we're gonna talk about specific tools and what it actually can look like to work and build your business or your career without burning out.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now that's it for this episode.

[SPEAKER_00]: I hope you enjoyed it.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know the drill.

[SPEAKER_00]: Subscribe like and share this podcast with people you think will benefit.

[SPEAKER_00]: We all need to be, [SPEAKER_00]: letting our year unfold gently and still productively at the same time.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you can, leave a review.

[SPEAKER_00]: We are almost at our goal on Apple to have 700 reviews.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're at 683.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if you haven't done a review yet, this is your moment.

[SPEAKER_00]: Just you don't even have to put words down.

[SPEAKER_00]: Just drop the five stars.

[SPEAKER_00]: On Apple, as always, people leave some thoughtful reviews.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to share a few with you, Katrina said, this is her favorite podcast, was the title.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, Kelly, for pouring into us week after week.

[SPEAKER_00]: You gave us actual tips to make our black lives better.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm back at work, thankfully, after a year long sabbatical, and you remind me that we need to give ourselves grace and that we deserve rest.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much Katrina and congratulations, maybe for being back at work.

[SPEAKER_00]: I hope that sabbatical gave you all that you needed to move forward.

[SPEAKER_00]: Somebody else named Shar said, I've recommended your podcast to colleagues because it is insightful and healing.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for the dedication to Black women and looking forward to more episodes in 2026.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, Shar.

[SPEAKER_00]: Please leave a review if you can.

[SPEAKER_00]: And understand that Black Roburn Out is more than a podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's really just a platform.

[SPEAKER_00]: And there are many ways to interact and get information about how to let the year shape you gently.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're on socials.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's Black Roburn Out, real simple across all of it.

[SPEAKER_00]: TikTok, Instagram, you name it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Just at Black Roburn Out.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you are a reader or you were a tumbler, girly, love a blog, a long form post.

[SPEAKER_00]: Substack is your place.

[SPEAKER_00]: We are about to be like 20K strong over there.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I do longer form thoughtful essays about basically how to care and not collapse.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I do a little extra for $5 a month if you are a paid subscriber.

[SPEAKER_00]: I do monthly targeted workshops.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I mean, I come through with slides, worksheets, I record them.

[SPEAKER_00]: just more practical hands-on ways to bring more ease into your life, to build those supports, those systems, that mindfulness work.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is the kind of work I typically do with my actual clients and my consultancy and I just wanted to make it really accessible for you at $5 a tier.

[SPEAKER_00]: So Sub-Sec is the place for that once a month, first Sunday, the month.

[SPEAKER_00]: So that's it for this episode.

[SPEAKER_00]: As always, take care of yourself, take care of each other, and remember, nothing is wrong with you.