[SPEAKER_00]: We're an out podcast, Kelly here.

[SPEAKER_00]: And today, I want to follow up from last week's episode and talk about how to handle the start of the year.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to start with this.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you are listening to this podcast and you are feeling like the year did not start so gently.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you came into January hoping for a little piece and instead you felt tense, [SPEAKER_00]: or alert or bracing.

[SPEAKER_00]: That makes absolute sense.

[SPEAKER_00]: The truth of the matter is life doesn't reset on January 1st.

[SPEAKER_00]: We don't lose every piece of challenge or stressor that we might have in December.

[SPEAKER_00]: There is no magical restart the clock moment.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so a lot of us started 2026 [SPEAKER_00]: anger, exhaustion, all throughout our bodies.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't believe that the answer is to pretend we're not.

[SPEAKER_00]: To think that new year new me is somehow is going to solve all the challenges you had in 2025.

[SPEAKER_00]: But on the other side of the coin, I also don't believe the answer is to harden ourselves.

[SPEAKER_00]: So what I want to talk about today is a different way of being in this moment.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're not here to [SPEAKER_00]: We're not here to numb out, but we're here to hold the year with both of our hands, with two hands.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because here's the truth.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's a particular kind of exhaustion that comes from waking up every day and feeling like something else is gone wrong.

[SPEAKER_00]: That something else has been lost, or taken, or threatened.

[SPEAKER_00]: And even if we don't catalog, [SPEAKER_00]: every slight we might feel, every headline that is so crushing that is occurring in the news right now.

[SPEAKER_00]: Even if we don't list all that out every day, our bodies feel it, your shoulders feel it, your jaw feels it, your breath feels it, your sleep cycle probably is definitely feeling it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to name what many of us are experiencing right now.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's something called flooding.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's a term that happens when your nervous system is exposed to more stress, threat, or information than it can process at once.

[SPEAKER_00]: It automatically shifts your body into survival mode and it floods it.

[SPEAKER_00]: with what's needed to survive.

[SPEAKER_00]: For some people, flooding looks like anxiety, racing thoughts, tightness, feeling constantly on edge.

[SPEAKER_00]: For others, it might look like numbness, checking out, not feeling much of anything at all.

[SPEAKER_00]: coin completely flat.

[SPEAKER_00]: Those are not personality flaws.

[SPEAKER_00]: Those are physiological responses.

[SPEAKER_00]: Your nervous system is just doing what it was designed to do in the face of uncertainty and danger.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if you've been going back and forth between feeling overwhelmed or feeling disconnected, I want to make sure you hear this clearly.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is not a mindset problem.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is not a failure of resilience.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is your body trying to protect you.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so what's important for you to also hear clearly is that the work isn't to override that response or push through.

[SPEAKER_00]: The work is actually to figure out ways to come back into your body what it happens.

[SPEAKER_00]: And this is why the language that we use to talk about the year matters were used to January being about resolutions, intentions, big goals.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is my year energy and listen, people will still get things done, goals will still be hit and things are still going to move forward, but this does not feel like the moment for conquering push through language.

[SPEAKER_00]: recently I taught a workshop for my sub-stack subscribers, where we picked a year for the year instead of a long list of goals.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not because it's a bad idea to be ambitious and have a list of goals.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's great, but what I'm feeling is more important in this season is capacity.

[SPEAKER_00]: The gap between the big ambitious goals you have and your body, your emotions, your heart's capacity, [SPEAKER_00]: is pretty wide.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so when your entire approach to the year is like conquering and dominating, pushing or grinding, your body pays the price.

[SPEAKER_00]: Your nervous system is gonna stay braced.

[SPEAKER_00]: You are gonna be tight and more importantly, you will lose opportunities to feel restored.

[SPEAKER_00]: You might check off big goals and achievements.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I promise you, you will suffer while doing it.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that is not what we're about over here at Black O'Burnout.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's talk about something too many of us carry in silence.

[SPEAKER_00]: Money.

[SPEAKER_00]: the fear, the shame, the confusion, the pressure to hold it all together when it feels like everything is falling apart.

[SPEAKER_00]: Dead, divorce, caregiving, trying to stretch one, check into two.

[SPEAKER_00]: Financial stress doesn't just drain your bank account, it drains your spirit.

[SPEAKER_00]: but you don't have to figure it out alone.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's a place where you can lay that burden down and get real help, the savvy lady's help line.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's free.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, free.

[SPEAKER_00]: You'll be matched with a certified financial expert for a private one-on-one session, someone who will listen without judgment and help you take the next right step.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can ask the hard questions.

[SPEAKER_00]: How do I start building wealth even if I've made mistakes?

[SPEAKER_00]: How do I get out of debt?

[SPEAKER_00]: What happens to my money after a breakup?

[SPEAKER_00]: How do I put more joy into my budgeting?

[SPEAKER_00]: This call could change your life, because clarity brings peace, and peace with your money is true freedom.

[SPEAKER_00]: Savi ladies is a non-profit dedicated to helping women, especially women like us, learn, plan, and reclaim control of our financial lives.

[SPEAKER_00]: So please, don't stay in silence.

[SPEAKER_00]: Go to SaviLadies.org and book your free session today.

[SPEAKER_00]: you don't have to struggle alone anymore.

[SPEAKER_00]: Help is waiting for you.

[SPEAKER_00]: When you shift into a mindset of holding the year instead of conquering the year, it feels different.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because holding the year lets you leave room for adjustment and here's a revolutionary concept.

[SPEAKER_00]: holding the year allows you to let your body be an active part of the decision-making process.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can still work and create.

[SPEAKER_00]: But now you're not gripping the year so tightly that you are hurting yourself in the process.

[SPEAKER_00]: Ultimately, what I want the year to be about, [SPEAKER_00]: isn't doing less or nothing, but have it be about doing what you do without abandoning your body in the process.

[SPEAKER_00]: And the most amazing part of all of this is, joy gets to come back in the picture, not as an escape [SPEAKER_00]: But as something that's deeply practical, because joy actually helps regulate your nervous system, it actually can become an interrupter to flooding, because when your body experiences pleasure, whether it's through laughter or beauty or anticipation or rest, it gets new information, that danger isn't the only thing that is happening right now.

[SPEAKER_00]: Pleasure brings you back to the present, and I think that's important to say, [SPEAKER_00]: Because part of what gets lost in all of the noise, all of the struggle and the hardship and the challenges is that as black women joy isn't just a nice to have joy is ancestral.

[SPEAKER_00]: it is communal.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's sacred.

[SPEAKER_00]: And long before anyone came up with wellness and self-care, which now has become like these buzzwords, and has been co-opted by dominant culture spaces, joy was how black people survived in a world that was meant to break us.

[SPEAKER_00]: Never forget that joy lives in our culture, our music, our laughter, our food, and the way we take care of each other.

[SPEAKER_00]: Joy didn't make the world safe, but it meant that we were still here.

[SPEAKER_00]: It meant that we were still here.

[SPEAKER_00]: So when I talk about centering joy, [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not talking about like a one of indulgence or like an individual plan.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm talking about an inherited practice, something that has been passed down generation after generation, and it's something that we were never meant to lose.

[SPEAKER_00]: Despite the fact that along the way, so many of us have learned so many other hustling, destructive, capitalistic frameworks that are just inviting us to be like martyrs for what I don't know.

[SPEAKER_00]: Encouraging us to just endure without any relief and to be strong without ever having space for softness.

[SPEAKER_00]: And what I'm here to tell you is that to be joyful is to be black.

[SPEAKER_00]: And when you are joyful, it allows you to not necessarily take away all the grief, but it allows joy to be a companion to the grief.

[SPEAKER_00]: So when you choose joy, if for no other reason, choose joy not as an act like denial at the world is hard and challenging, but that it is a sake of remembering.

[SPEAKER_00]: that you are refusing to let the world steal what your ancestors, our culture has beautifully protected.

[SPEAKER_00]: So joy is a cornerstone of how we're going to hold the year with a little more gentleness.

[SPEAKER_00]: But in practice, I want to acknowledge that that's not necessarily just an easy thing to do, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: Because so many of us are swinging between two extremes.

[SPEAKER_00]: One is that we are flooding our nervous systems again, but we're doing it by taking in so much information that our bodies are in a constant state of alarm, think doom scrolling.

[SPEAKER_00]: The other is we're so disconnected that we look at nothing, care about nothing, feel nothing, engage with nothing because we're so burned out, we can't.

[SPEAKER_00]: And neither of those extremes are going to keep you safe.

[SPEAKER_00]: So we need joy, but we also need discernment.

[SPEAKER_00]: We need to know when to step back and also when to come back into our bodies, or stay in our bodies in the face of challenges.

[SPEAKER_00]: So practically, let's figure out how to care about what's happening in the world in our lives without collapsing.

[SPEAKER_00]: And this is where so much of what I believe, like my skill set is, my purpose with this podcast and just my life's work really shines through, which is the truth that I return [SPEAKER_00]: that you can hold heartache and hope at the same time.

[SPEAKER_00]: And not in a way that is forced toxic positivity, but more so, courageously holding hope that even when things are hard, I will still love.

[SPEAKER_00]: I will still tend to my life.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that is the most brave thing you can sit with right now.

[SPEAKER_00]: especially right now.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if January felt heavy and if you don't have the clarity yet, if your only real goal is just to get through the day with some tenderness intact, I want you to hear this.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're not behind.

[SPEAKER_00]: You don't need to conquer this year.

[SPEAKER_00]: You don't need [SPEAKER_00]: you can hold the year gently and honestly, and still keep coming back to yourself as it unfolds.

[SPEAKER_00]: In the coming weeks, I am going to talk to you specifically about skills and tools on how to hold that year gently.

[SPEAKER_00]: Think of this as an episode to invite you to buy in or opt into holding the year gently and the rest of this month about the skills and tools to get you through it.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's some really cool stuff happening with the podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm very excited about there's going to be a YouTube series and I'm going to put out that are very practical and tactical skills.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, very, very practical stuff here.

[SPEAKER_00]: On how to do that, some ways to regulate your nervous system unless that a minute, some practical tools and tips that help me manage my life that you can try or subscribe to.

[SPEAKER_00]: Think about it as a companion to this year's content to make sure that you are able to get every way I can give you the tools to live your life present, open, and still with hope even when heartache feels ever present in our everyday lives.

[SPEAKER_00]: So that's it for this week's episode.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know the drill.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can find the podcast across all major platforms.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if you haven't, please subscribe to the podcast like share with people.

[SPEAKER_00]: It makes a huge, huge difference.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you can, drop us a review.

[SPEAKER_00]: I cannot tell you how much you all warm my heart.

[SPEAKER_00]: First of all, it's the easiest and most simple way to support the podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: When our rating is up, and there's a lot of good reviews, people are more willing to sponsor the podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm really intentional this year about bringing you sponsors that I think will change your life versus our nice to have things.

[SPEAKER_00]: But in order to do that, I need to be able to go to them and say, hey, we've got an active engaged community.

[SPEAKER_00]: So taking 30 seconds, five seconds to just hit the five stars on Apple or Spotify makes all the difference.

[SPEAKER_00]: And your comments when you leave them, when I tell you light up my day, I am not exaggerating.

[SPEAKER_00]: Here's a few from Spotify.

[SPEAKER_00]: Emani said, I just finished this episode.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, girl.

[SPEAKER_00]: You were the break I needed in a busy day.

[SPEAKER_00]: Wishing you love, rest, abundance, peace, and happiness going into this new year.

[SPEAKER_00]: Emani or Emani, thank you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, girl, for listening.

[SPEAKER_00]: Someone who goes by the name Caramel Light Skin 23 said, hey, Kelly, thank you so much for this podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: So glad it popped up on my Spotify.

[SPEAKER_00]: I really loved your take on living life without burning out.

[SPEAKER_00]: I just wanted to say thanks.

[SPEAKER_00]: It really resonated with me.

[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Sean Tray said, simply, I need to hear this.

[SPEAKER_00]: make my day and let me know that this work is meaningful and that it's helpful and I need to keep giving this content.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if that's something you haven't done if you haven't read the podcast, please consider rating it.

[SPEAKER_00]: It makes a huge huge difference.

[SPEAKER_00]: You just don't even know.

[SPEAKER_00]: Also, black robot out is more than a podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: It really is just a platform for black women who are looking to have more joy in their lives.

[SPEAKER_00]: redefining ambition in a way that doesn't make them want to die, hitting their goals.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I want us to be the hub for that.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so there's many ways to get content from Black O'Burnout.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can follow us on all the socials.

[SPEAKER_00]: Good news.

[SPEAKER_00]: Very simple.

[SPEAKER_00]: Black O'Burnout.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can follow us on Substack.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're already heading toward 19,000 subscribers there.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you are a reader or a tumbler girlie and you want to dive a little deeper, Substack is your spot.

[SPEAKER_00]: I go deeper on these themes.

[SPEAKER_00]: Every Sunday, I drop a post.

[SPEAKER_00]: I also do actual workshops that I do for Fortune 50 companies and Ivy League companies.

[SPEAKER_00]: I do a monthly workshop with subscribers for $5 a month.

[SPEAKER_00]: I do that and I give you a workbook and slides and tools.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's a fun time.

[SPEAKER_00]: I just did my first one on how to pick your word for the year.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if you're interested, sign up there.

[SPEAKER_00]: and that's it!

[SPEAKER_00]: So, as always, until next week, take care of yourself, take care of each other, and remember, you're allowed to hold heartache and hope at the same time.