[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Black Girl Burnout Podcast Kelly here.

[SPEAKER_00]: And today we're going to talk about part two of an episode we did a couple weeks ago about dopamine anchoring and how to really opt into pleasure and to centering more pleasure in your life.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I have been really passionate about doing these kinds of episodes because the world around us is anything but joyful and pleasurable [SPEAKER_00]: Because of that, it's a call for us to make it a priority, because if we don't make it a priority, no one else, will we be able to create the joy that we deserved.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so the first episode that we did in this series was all about pleasure and nervous system regulation, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: The need to kind of understand how dopamine affects the body, why will power is a myth?

[SPEAKER_00]: And we talked about, [SPEAKER_00]: how to really regulate your nervous system and to do so with joy with pleasure-centered rituals and a lifestyle.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so this episode I want to go a little bit deeper into more practical, ritual-based ways, you know, understanding what I'm calling the deliciousness of discipline that [SPEAKER_00]: how you can actually do this dopamine anchoring in a way that is sustainable, in a way that it's its own practice, in a way that is disciplined, but maybe not the way you've typically associated it with.

[SPEAKER_00]: Remember, we talked about how joy isn't a reward.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's just this engine.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's the thing that makes us go.

[SPEAKER_00]: Without joy in our lives, there just isn't any room for excellence, there's isn't any room for deep connection.

[SPEAKER_00]: Joy is the engine, it's the fuel.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not something that comes after we've done all our hard work, but it's the thing that facilitates us getting hard work done.

[SPEAKER_00]: And remember, we talked about this idea of [SPEAKER_00]: having small moments of pleasure or dopamine release and anchoring it with things that feel maybe not so pleasurable.

[SPEAKER_00]: Habits that we have to build, chores that we have to do, work that must be done.

[SPEAKER_00]: That there is a recipe to getting more accomplished when you dopamine anchor.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I encourage you to go back and listen that episode if you haven't.

[SPEAKER_00]: It was about a couple of weeks ago.

[SPEAKER_00]: and really learn how to buy into this way of living this dopamine anchoring again, and see the benefits it can bring.

[SPEAKER_00]: Because today's intention really is to move forward from understanding what dopamine anchoring is into practice and really realistic ways.

[SPEAKER_00]: And to understand how we can reclaim joy, the concept of what a reward is, all the things that make life really possible when we actually do these kinds of dopamine anchoring activities.

[SPEAKER_00]: So part of this is explaining again that, remember, our bodies and our brains thrive on these small kind of predictable doses of joy, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: This idea of grind now reward later isn't effective.

[SPEAKER_00]: And this is something that people really do think.

[SPEAKER_00]: We live in a society that's like, work hard, play hard.

[SPEAKER_00]: And really what we've realized is actually when you integrate working hard with play, you get more accomplished, you do so with more motivation and you have better results.

[SPEAKER_00]: So there's [SPEAKER_00]: There are really small ways to do this, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: For some folks, it can be like a scent ritual, movement breaks, sunlight moments walking in the sun, moving your body, affirmations that make you feel good.

[SPEAKER_00]: They can all trigger a double main boost and I really want to emphasize that these rituals are not meant to be expensive or time consuming or anything that is burdensome.

[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't require money or doing it perfectly, what it does require is consistency.

[SPEAKER_00]: So really, dopamine anchoring is for everyone and anyone.

[SPEAKER_00]: There is no one who can't do this, and there is no barrier to doing it, but what's in our minds?

[SPEAKER_00]: Cause we can find the time and we can make it a priority if we understand how important and critical it is to create a rhythm of joy and to create a rhythm of pleasure.

[SPEAKER_00]: and to see it as a form of discipline that is delicious, that is enjoyable.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know for myself this has not been easy.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am definitely a person who feels like I will get to joy or at least I used to be.

[SPEAKER_00]: I guess is the better way to say it is like I will get to joy when I've done all the work.

[SPEAKER_00]: I used to be very type A, had my checklist, and then it's like, I got to work, I got to get this done, and then I can have more fun.

[SPEAKER_00]: And the truth of the matter is that just wasn't enjoyable.

[SPEAKER_00]: I often was pushing myself past productivity.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was often disappointed with myself and feeling like a why can't you just get it together.

[SPEAKER_00]: Why can't you just get things done and not really acknowledging that I was just doing it wrong.

[SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't really sure of how to integrate play and joy.

[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't think I could.

[SPEAKER_00]: And because I didn't think I could, I would push myself.

[SPEAKER_00]: And then once I fell down a little bit, I would push myself harder.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I would do it until I broke.

[SPEAKER_00]: And it's taken years to kind of unlearn that way of being.

[SPEAKER_00]: And also while acknowledging that there were cultural societal and communal pressures that made me feel like that was the only way I could be.

[SPEAKER_00]: That play was silly, that it was something that I had to earn.

[SPEAKER_00]: That joy was for other people at other time periods and not for me.

[SPEAKER_00]: And it wasn't until I really learned about neuroscience and really honestly did some soul searching within myself about rewriting the script about what it means to be a black woman, what it means to be Kelly, that I arrived at the fact that I was a highly whimsical who loved play, who loved being able to move to the world with a certain measure of silliness, enjoy and [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe go further and faster than if I would have just stayed beating myself up and pushing myself hustling to this imaginary moment where I then could rest.

[SPEAKER_00]: And as I said in the last episode, what I realized is, yeah, that reward isn't nearly as sweet as you think it's going to be.

[SPEAKER_00]: And there's rarely time where you do get to honor yourself and you do get to access joy.

[SPEAKER_00]: There just becomes another obstacle that you have to push through to get there.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you live your life in a way that's like work hard now, have joy later.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so based on that, I first had to, like I said in the last episode that we talked about this, I first had to accept that there was a different way of doing it and that I could find hard work pleasurable and I could marry aspects of pleasure to hard work.

[SPEAKER_00]: Once I did that, though, I actually had to do the work [SPEAKER_00]: of creating systems and rituals and different moments of my life that we're infused with joy and pleasure and play.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we talked about some of these before.

[SPEAKER_00]: We talked about sensory anchors and movement anchors and connection anchors and I'm going to go over them again and then I'm going to talk about really how you can begin creating them with actual systems and an [SPEAKER_00]: and effort put in and a plan into making sure you create these anchor rituals.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now again, anchor rituals just something that you attach to make work joy.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's an act that links joy to work, so it can be many, many things.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I will share some of my own to give you an example with the encouragement that you too can create your own anchors.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now, when it comes to sensory anchors, this is where you engage some level of your senses, paired with work or right before you do something that's work-focused.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is a great way to kind of get through the moment.

[SPEAKER_00]: The easiest one I can think of that I use that comes to mind is music.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love to have music in the background, particularly if I'm doing a repetitive task.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have different moods for different moments.

[SPEAKER_00]: If it requires more deep thought and writing, classical music usually is something that I will listen to.

[SPEAKER_00]: And the science tells us that classical music is great for studying, too.

[SPEAKER_00]: So when I have to study or when I have to write and I don't want to be distracted by singing along, then I'm going to listen to some classical music and create, I have a list on Spotify called gentle rest where I play that.

[SPEAKER_00]: It comes my nervous system and I go to work.

[SPEAKER_00]: But there are other times where music is key to motivating me.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's say I'm having a slump.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's the afternoon.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm struggling.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'll put a song on and I'll start dancing to the music to a song I love, to an album I love.

[SPEAKER_00]: Over in Sub-Sec, I was telling folks how I embedded rest into my life by obsessing over the Olivia Dean album and I've been listening to it on vinyl, so it forces me to slow down.

[SPEAKER_00]: That kind of sensory anchor of pairing something like that that I'm enjoying to activities is chef's kiss and great for dopamine anchoring.

[SPEAKER_00]: But there are other ways to engage your senses.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's of course hearing.

[SPEAKER_00]: But taste, they might pair it with a piece of chocolate or something that truly gives them joy.

[SPEAKER_00]: And we know that chocolate does give your little brain a boost of some happy hormones.

[SPEAKER_00]: For me, I love teas and I have different teas for different moments.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have to after lunch tea, I have a pick me up tea.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have a tea that just makes me smile.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love tea.

[SPEAKER_00]: Activities are work to make work more pleasurable.

[SPEAKER_00]: A role with therapy, what I can smell.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, we've talked about what we can hear, what we can taste, what we can smell.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am obsessed as you know with perfume and lotions and all the things obsessed.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I have sense for different moments of my life.

[SPEAKER_00]: There are certain sense that I use every day that it just comes me.

[SPEAKER_00]: It makes me reflective.

[SPEAKER_00]: It makes me cozy.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have a difference and for a different moment.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so sometimes before starting a task, I will smell like my arm that I've draped some perfume across or I will put on a lotion that will one soften my hands, but also smell really great and smell that the point is how can you engage your senses.

[SPEAKER_00]: into your work, into your activity.

[SPEAKER_00]: Then we talked about movement anchors, which is just moving your body while doing work.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so I already talked about this before.

[SPEAKER_00]: Dancing between tasks, I absolutely love to do that.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's an element of whimsy and play that I in the past would kind of shame myself for that now I just un- [SPEAKER_00]: like I unabashedly embrace it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm just I'm here for it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want a dance party.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna have a dance party.

[SPEAKER_00]: They've got some songs that I love that when I listen to these songs I want a dance and it helps break up my routine and it helps break up my tasks.

[SPEAKER_00]: So maybe I'm switching from a task that was kind of long and felt like my brain is smoking a bit from all the effort I put into it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Dance party is an order at that point and I will dance.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You can opt out of burnout and into clarity, confidence, and [SPEAKER_00]: The other thing that I do is I like to think about a problem while I walk.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I will put on some headphones, some classical music.

[SPEAKER_00]: Now we see I'm pairing sensory with movement.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I will walk and I will try to brainstorm a solution.

[SPEAKER_00]: So maybe it's something like content planning for the podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: What do I want to talk about and write about this week or this month?

[SPEAKER_00]: Currently, I am planning out January's activation.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I always see January as kind of like another season of the podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I see it as an opportunity to do something fresh or new.

[SPEAKER_00]: And right now, I'm thinking, what is that going to look like?

[SPEAKER_00]: How am I going to create something new and fresh and different for January?

[SPEAKER_00]: So I'll take a walk around my neighborhood and think about that and just let my brain wander, do some work while I pair it with something that is pleasurable and connects me to nature.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that's an example of a movement anchor.

[SPEAKER_00]: It could be also stretching while listening to something maybe you're catching up on a meeting.

[SPEAKER_00]: being able to turn your camera off and stand and move around a bit, taking a meeting while walking.

[SPEAKER_00]: I know some organizations and companies, they do that.

[SPEAKER_00]: They have walking meetings where people are all encouraged to do some kind of movement.

[SPEAKER_00]: All of these things have the neuroscience to back it up to say how great it is.

[SPEAKER_00]: And it is an opportunity to pair pleasure.

[SPEAKER_00]: with tasks and things that you may traditionally find a bit painful or just plain old hard work.

[SPEAKER_00]: The last anchor is a connection anchor and this one is great.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love connection anchors.

[SPEAKER_00]: For me, for example, I may have to do some level of exercise and I may not be feeling like I want to do it.

[SPEAKER_00]: If I call someone where I'm walking for actual cardio health, so I got to push myself a little bit, [SPEAKER_00]: Calling someone and talking to them while I'm doing it is amazing.

[SPEAKER_00]: Calling someone when I clean my house, as my favorite thing to do is to have a beautiful conversation while I'm cooking or cleaning, and having that conversation occupy my brain so that something that I normally dread doing, I can do with joy.

[SPEAKER_00]: And all of a sudden it's pleasurable, all of a sudden it's fun.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so as I lay out those three anchors, I think I encourage you in the last episode to think about how you could implement one for the week and practice it for seven days.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I do think that [SPEAKER_00]: now that you've tried one, you should try more than one.

[SPEAKER_00]: You should try to mix and match all three of these anchors.

[SPEAKER_00]: Think about taking a walk with some of your favorite music and maybe calling a friend or taking pictures on your walk to send friends.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've done that before my mom, for example, is obsessed with fall foliage.

[SPEAKER_00]: I will send her pictures of [SPEAKER_00]: the fall foliage around this area where I am in the DMV and that's something that brings me connection.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm listening to my music and I'm moving my body.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm hitting all three of these anchors at once.

[SPEAKER_00]: The goal is you can stack them.

[SPEAKER_00]: and you can do this in a way that regulates your nervous system and sustains your energy.

[SPEAKER_00]: These are activities that don't make you feel tired, they don't deplete you, they actually make you energized and get you through tough moments or just plaitled work that has to be done.

[SPEAKER_00]: Really when I talk about dopamine anchoring and first productivity and bringing more pleasure into our lives, it's really a call for us as black women to heal the productivity wound that we have.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's so many of us have been ingrained through the diaspora and imperialism and colonialism and slavery and all these things that are worth is in what we do and what we produce.

[SPEAKER_00]: particularly for those who have connections to Africa and America and the slavery narrative, your literal value was based upon what you produced and how much cotton you picked.

[SPEAKER_00]: And when you are burst in a culture that is in response to that, it is not shocking that we still in 2025 as black women see our worth in what we have done.

[SPEAKER_00]: So many even in modern-day society holds on to these outdated belief system that women are only as valuable as what they physically give, their aesthetic, their body, or what they produce, children, and work product, clean a house.

[SPEAKER_00]: being productive and femininity and being productive and value have been so intertwined in black identity and really women's identity that it isn't surprising that so many of us are so uncomfortable with the idea of rest, with the idea of understanding that [SPEAKER_00]: joy is allowed.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's not just allowed.

[SPEAKER_00]: It should be demanded in our lives.

[SPEAKER_00]: That pleasure isn't something that should be punished or should be something that's shamed.

[SPEAKER_00]: but something that should be centered in our life as a way to get the things that we need to get accomplished.

[SPEAKER_00]: This isn't asking for us to become like overindulgent or selfish.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is rather asking us to create a life that makes a smile and a life that values who we are on the inside and how we nourish and love up on ourselves.

[SPEAKER_00]: That being our value.

[SPEAKER_00]: That being seen as something to be praised and not anything else.

[SPEAKER_00]: So let go of the guilt or fear that may be coming up for you when you are intentionally starting to choose ease over grind.

[SPEAKER_00]: I promise you it's not easy.

[SPEAKER_00]: I've been there.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm still there.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have a default setting that's just like workworkworkworkworkworkworkworkwork and I try really hard to reset that all the time.

[SPEAKER_00]: and to not feel guilty for not doing my checklist or not getting everything done.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I do it because I know that it's essential for me to make it to 80, 90, 100 years of age.

[SPEAKER_00]: And more importantly, to get to those years with some measure of joy and ease, I cannot work myself into joy.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have to instead make space for it and fall in love with my life and fall in love with myself and have a joy-first productivity mindset.

[SPEAKER_00]: because at the end of the day, rest and joy are productive.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I would say that you will get more accomplished when joy and rest are centered.

[SPEAKER_00]: So the first step to doing that is, maybe just doing a body scan or writing down what does it mean for you?

[SPEAKER_00]: How do you know when your body's telling you, it's had enough?

[SPEAKER_00]: What does that look like?

[SPEAKER_00]: I know I've said for me, and sub-sec, I think I talked about this, that when I start drinking cans of coke, that is usually a sign that my body is exhausted, and I'm craving caffeine, I can't have caffeine through coffee or other me, and so, and I probably should even have it through that, but if I'm drinking soda with caffeine in it, all of a sudden, I know my body is exhausted, and I'm pushing it past its limits.

[SPEAKER_00]: It might also be that I'm finding myself doom scrolling or scrolling aimlessly.

[SPEAKER_00]: I also know, okay, I've had enough and then not just cataloging that and knowing that about yourself, but then honoring it, taking a break, taking a walk, calling someone you care about, having that cup of tea or coffee or whatever brings you joy.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if you didn't before, this is my challenge to you to try again to pick one anchor ritual and track how your motivation changes.

[SPEAKER_00]: Add a little more science if you did it before.

[SPEAKER_00]: Before I just said just do one, just pick one.

[SPEAKER_00]: But if you've already done it or you haven't yet, [SPEAKER_00]: pick an anchoring ritual, but this time track and see, did you get more done?

[SPEAKER_00]: How was your energy level?

[SPEAKER_00]: Now that you paired something pleasurable with something maybe you thought was painful and let yourself sit in this question and answer, what does it feel like to let joy lead your work day?

[SPEAKER_00]: Let me know, share in the socials and hopefully this is one more [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, that's it for today's episode.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you enjoyed the episode, you know what you can do.

[SPEAKER_00]: You can share this with a black woman who needs to hear it, who needs to understand the power of this podcast and this movement.

[SPEAKER_00]: I have had so many beautiful interactions with people as of late.

[SPEAKER_00]: I just love the work that I'm doing.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love the community that we're building.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I wanna keep growing it and I want you to keep sharing the podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: So, like, follow and subscribe.

[SPEAKER_00]: Again, we have some incredible, [SPEAKER_00]: Incredible, incredible, incredible reviews.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna share some of them.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is another review that came in from April, who said, the Blackel Burnout podcast, and I'm going to read you one from another review that came in.

[SPEAKER_00]: The Blackel Burnout podcast is truly changed my life.

[SPEAKER_00]: I am absolutely at number one fan.

[SPEAKER_00]: Kelly feels like my personal therapist, my best friend, and business partner all in one.

[SPEAKER_00]: Every week her voice reminds me to slow down, [SPEAKER_00]: and my business with ease.

[SPEAKER_00]: She goes on so much to say so much more.

[SPEAKER_00]: This was such a thoughtful review April.

[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I appreciate you.

[SPEAKER_00]: She just closes the review by saying thank you Kelly for creating something that has become my personal therapy, my reset, and my reminder to build my life with ease.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm forever grateful for the Blackel Burnout podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, that makes my heart so happy.

[SPEAKER_00]: We have so many thoughtful comments on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if you have not, writing review is the quickest and easiest way to help monetarily with the podcast, just taking time out, to do five stars, genuinely translates into dollars to support this podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if you haven't, please drop a review and I will keep reading the reviews as they come in every week.

[SPEAKER_00]: Also, you can follow us along on all the social media platforms.

[SPEAKER_00]: We keep it simple for you.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's Black O'Burno everywhere.

[SPEAKER_00]: TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and of course my baby Substack.

[SPEAKER_00]: We are heading toward 15,000 over there.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's free.

[SPEAKER_00]: I go in deeper if you like reading or blogging.

[SPEAKER_00]: I go deeper there and we get more information and more goodies there.

[SPEAKER_00]: Alright, that's enough for this week's episode.

[SPEAKER_00]: I hope you all take care of yourself, take care of each other, rest well, and find some joy and pleasure, and create more moments of joy and pleasure.