[SPEAKER_00]: This is the Jockel Underground podcast number 189 sitting here with Echo Trolls.

[SPEAKER_00]: We've got some questions from you, troopers, and we have got some answers in some cases.

[SPEAKER_00]: Some recommendations, some guidance.

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe just some things to think about, but we're gonna do our best.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: So, let's get into it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Life is coming at us.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's figure out a plan.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_01]: All right, first question.

[SPEAKER_01]: Draco, thank you for everything.

[SPEAKER_01]: Your books and podcasts have helped me through the tough times, the toughest times.

[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I recently had a one night stand with a girl.

[SPEAKER_01]: I met that night.

[SPEAKER_01]: She's now pregnant.

[SPEAKER_01]: abortion is illegal where I live, so I'll likely become a dad.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't plan to see her or the kid.

[SPEAKER_01]: I know it's not right.

[SPEAKER_01]: But this isn't someone I can build a future with.

[SPEAKER_01]: The quote, other than death, all failure is psychological, has kept me going.

[SPEAKER_01]: Any words of wisdom on how to move forward would mean a lot.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, well, I think in this situation, you're going to want to try and build some kind of amicable relationship with this woman.

[SPEAKER_00]: Right?

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you're not going to marry her apparently.

[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe she's not going to be your girlfriend, but you have, right now, a common interest and concern.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that is this kid that's on the way.

[SPEAKER_00]: So [SPEAKER_00]: Imagine that you moved into a house and the house for whatever reason had an easement and you had a shared driveway with the next door neighbor.

[SPEAKER_00]: So you're both using the same driveway.

[SPEAKER_00]: you're gonna wanna get along with that person.

[SPEAKER_00]: That driveway is gonna be, it's part of everything, it's part of our daily life.

[SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna wanna make sure that you both can shovel snow off the driveway, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: Both if it needs some kind of repair, there's a pod hole in it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, we both gonna participate in this and make sure it's cool.

[SPEAKER_00]: Make sure you're not parking your car like where it's gonna block me from getting to my garage up the driveway.

[SPEAKER_00]: So that's what I think what the situation that you're in.

[SPEAKER_00]: You have like a common driveway, you know, you have a shared part of your life that you are going you you need [SPEAKER_00]: You just there, it's not going anywhere.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's part of your life.

[SPEAKER_00]: And so you want to get along with that neighbor.

[SPEAKER_00]: You want to have a good working relationship with that neighbor.

[SPEAKER_00]: They don't ever have to come over for dinner.

[SPEAKER_00]: You don't ever have to have barbecue.

[SPEAKER_00]: But you have to be able to say, hey, good morning.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, I'll shove with the snow tomorrow.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, I'll make sure that I fix that bottle since you did the last one.

[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, I'm going to be leaving.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to be moving my car this afternoon.

[SPEAKER_00]: Do you need to go anywhere.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let me make sure I'm not watching it while you need to drive.

[SPEAKER_00]: You see I'm saying that's what we're gonna have to do You have a important part of your life that you share with someone else now [SPEAKER_00]: If you end up not getting along with this person and now they're doing everything from not shoveling any snow ever and not repairing any potholes and then sometimes they might even be actively blocking the driveway purposely so you can't get out and they might even do things that harm the driveway and that's going to be bad.

[SPEAKER_00]: So we don't want that.

[SPEAKER_00]: You are going, yes, so this does mean that you're going to have to provide [SPEAKER_00]: you're going to have to provide likely both time and money and I say that you do that to the best of your ability how much money can you provide how much time can you provide and do your best to provide as much as you can time and money.

[SPEAKER_00]: And here's the thing, I'm assuming that you're a young person right now, and so it's difficult sometimes to understand how that will pay off, but there will be a reward in the end of your current investment.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's kind of where I'm at.

[SPEAKER_01]: yet it you make it you put this scenario like you put a lot of clarity into it where especially that dry land allergy was just pretty much perfect by the way because I know people you know in this [SPEAKER_01]: similar situation not necessarily the one-eight-stance area but you know a situation where hey they had no intention of this given their relationship and then no intention of staying together you know and here comes the baby and I think one of the kind of the mistakes out the gate is they regard it as like this [SPEAKER_01]: Baby or this kid that's separate, you know, rather than, you know, as opposed to what might come naturally to maybe a cohesive family who plans for a new addition to the family and now this is a part of me that I have to out.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we have to guide and [SPEAKER_01]: develop through life as they can care about and they care about it, you know, like it's like a integral kind of part of themself and the family kind of a thing, you know, but you can still kind you can still do that.

[SPEAKER_01]: And but instead of mom and dad being, I don't know what we'd call lovers, you know, and they're just working relationship.

[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly right, there's still parents, there's still, you know, everything except for kind of the, you know, that romantic kind of part of it, [SPEAKER_01]: having a good neighbor and of course you got to flex I mean you got to bend a little bit you know you got to let them have their time you got to support them in their time wasn't it not always going to be comfortable you know whatever but if you can kind of make that happen you'd be super I think anyway think you'd be surprised I'll smoothly it can go track because like let's face it you know a lot of times the parents like they don't get along and they don't put effort into like getting along you know just like oh she wants to you know a lot of [SPEAKER_01]: someone will get mad.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I had them, uh, you know, let's say they have a boy, right?

[SPEAKER_01]: And the guy gets a half custody of the girl gets off custody and it's like, oh, well, I had them freaking more time while you were out on vacation or something like this.

[SPEAKER_01]: They treated it as almost like this burden sometimes, you know?

[SPEAKER_01]: Or they'll get mad that oh, you had them too much now, you know, and they start fighting with each other all the stuff or whatever But yes, not all works, you know, sometimes I feel like if you get along you can kind of bend with that like oh, no, you want them for like a month You know you guys going to somewhere or freaking go have fun, you know like let me know what I can do to support you know [SPEAKER_01]: I think I can go through life like smoothly, you know, I'm way better.

[SPEAKER_01]: Unless you get the girl who wants the relationship and then the guy who doesn't or vice versa or whatever, then you got some more work to do, I think.

[SPEAKER_01]: You know, work to do.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you gotta plan that thing out, I guess.

[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, there are ways.

[SPEAKER_01]: All right, next question, hello, Jockel.

[SPEAKER_01]: As a department specialist, I experienced daily micro management from my direct supervisor.

[SPEAKER_01]: Recently, during a critical one-time mission with a tight deadline, the pressure intensified.

[SPEAKER_01]: Despite my strategic plan and expertise, upper management, my supervisor and his supervisor.

[SPEAKER_01]: Overwrote my tactical role, leading to excessive micromanagement and unsound decisions that complicated the mission, though it ultimately succeeded.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm concerned this dynamic will re-accur causing friction and reduce work quality.

[SPEAKER_01]: Should I voice my concerns or remain silent?

[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for your time.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, first of all, voice my concerns or remain silent.

[SPEAKER_00]: Those yellows are pretty extreme, because you definitely need to voice your concerns, but you need to do it in a tactful way.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I would recommend a good opportunity for this is a debrief of the situation.

[SPEAKER_00]: Let's sit down and have a quick debrief and during that debrief.

[SPEAKER_00]: So that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocco Underground podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: So if you want to continue to listen, [SPEAKER_00]: go to jockelunderground.com and subscribe and we're doing this we're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms so we are not subject to their control and we are doing this so that we can support the jockel podcast which will remain as is free for all as long as we can give it that way but we are doing this so we don't have to be under the control of sponsors [SPEAKER_00]: And we're doing it so we can give you more control, more interaction, more direct connections, better communications with us.

[SPEAKER_00]: And to do that, we are building a website right now where we'll build the utilize to strengthen this legion of troopers that are in the game with us.

[SPEAKER_00]: So thank you, it's jacco underground.com.

[SPEAKER_00]: It costs $8 and $18 a month.

[SPEAKER_00]: And if you can't afford to support us, [SPEAKER_00]: We can still support you just email assistance at jockelonaground.com and we'll get you taken care of until then we will see you mobilized underground.