You're listening to Sorry for Asking.

Sorry for Asking.

I'm Cold Connor and I'm Adam Ramsey.

This is where we talk shop, ask questions.

Tell stories, and laugh some laughs about being creators.

As well as consumers of adult content.

We love watching too.

We certainly do.

We also discuss the impact adult films have had on us, on our guests, and on the LGBTQ community.

So strap on and strap.

In and here we go.

Hello everyone, we're back.

We're back.

Welcome back to Sorry for Asking.

I'm Cole Connor, I'm Adam Ramsey, and our guest here is Gosh.

He's he's uh, he's an icon, He's a Jesus.

She's ready crossed her legs.

His pronouns are he.

But we're gonna say is here living with us?

Living Michael Boston.

Living with Hello, Michael Boston, Welcome, Welcome to the show.

How are you today?

I'm magical.

Today's a magical day in the neighborhood.

You know, say, I wanted to hang.

I've been wanting to have you on this for a while because you're someone that I have actually become friends with in this industry, and I feel like you're my sister.

I mean Gemini virgo?

Honey, is that a thing?

They say that?

Apparently the Virgo is the twin of Gemini, and Gemini is like the twin sign.

Yeah, so like we're both ruled by mercury life for too long.

I'm we're a flannel?

Is that true?

What makes him part lesbian?

I don't have a tool bell, flannel, don't have a tool belt or birkenstocks, but I'm working on it.

Too fabulous to be a lesbians could be fabulous, I know, let's not make over.

I feel like I, first of all, disclaimer, I feel like I've said some things that seem anti lesbian, and I really need sometimes when.

You're calling or saying a broad statement, it's out of love.

Sure, yes, it's just an observation that honestly, well you know, no, we love all in the community all the way too.

Oh goddamn, especially in this time.

What do you have in your your art deco notebook?

My art deco notebook?

Oh yes, all that way.

The little story, A little backstory about this, please This my sibling gave me for Hanukkah in nineteen ninety four as a journal.

This actual things, a book that's older than me.

Wow, shut your mouth, shut your stupid filthy hormones.

Year I was twelve, so I was in my way school.

I was like, cool, I'll use it as a journal.

Look how much is ripped out and torn to shreds because I didn't want anybody to find what I had been writing?

What had you been writing stuff about me?

And I was very insecure in middle school and like, and I'm sure, I'm sure someone did breach the pages the social concept or maybe I felt like maybe my mom took a peek at it or something as like, I don't know, would you read your kids like just so if you?

So?

I felt like shut.

I felt like very I shut myself off at that time, and I didn't.

Talk about it.

I don't see why reading your diaries any better?

Yeah, do you mean my child already doesn't trust you?

Something?

I know?

But so like I so, I felt, I guess I should.

I guess.

I felt like it was possible that they would go to this behind my back to try to get something, to try to understand something about me.

I don't know, maybe, And so I was like, I definite in different garbage cans in case they were, what's.

The point of the journal, then if you're going to tear it out and throw it.

Away, Well, I wrote it.

I do morning pages.

I already got it out.

I got it out morning.

I do morning pages.

I would never look back at those, like I write three pages every day and then mom, Yeah, okay, well maybe one day, maybe.

One day, one day when you're gonna look back on the old days or you'll publish them.

Yes, But anyway, let's get back to you.

So anyway, since we were talking about diary, did you ever have one growing up, like when you were a kid.

I probably had a couple.

Yeah, what did you have to hide?

Being born in the nineties?

Masturbating when I was eighteen eighteen?

Is that when you started Mormon?

Yeah?

Did you actually talk about that?

I talk about that another Mormon guest because the other one we have had men Mormons are very gay.

We have had like the I love doing porn.

I know they do.

I don't know why.

Tell us what it was like growing up more?

Where was it in like rural Utah?

Yeah?

It was a true Utah Mormon.

Well, I mean I wasn't born in Utah, it was.

I lived in several different places before then, and I don't look on those memories fondly, and I don't like to talk about them, but I'll talk about them for for entertainment purposes.

I guess we're asking you to all you have.

I don't know what just sucked.

Did you have Jeff's siblings?

Yeah, I have a twin brother and then a younger sister.

A twin brother.

Is he gay?

Straight?

Is a faggot?

Yeah, he's a homosexual.

We have a relationship with him now.

He lives in Jersey City and he and my mom just bought a house like together.

Yeah, that's kind of cute, so she must be accepting.

Yeah, she's cool for home, She's always been cool.

No, she was fucking having sex at a wedlock.

Okay, she's a fucking horror.

Oh yeah, there's no one in my family that has a fucking leg to stand on about anything.

Were all at the church so wonderful?

Yes?

Okay, God, how about your dad?

Are you guys close to him?

Well?

I didn't grow up with my biological dad.

Okay, I didn't learn that till I was thirteen.

I have a weird mess of a life.

Okay, let's get into it.

Sure's whatever you want to share forever Okay, give us the cliffs notes basically, Okay, well, no, I don't know if I can tell you.

I'm so sorry.

I have some leading questions.

Yes, leave me daddy.

Okay, So when and how do you feel like you got out of that life?

And did you go to school?

Like did you when did you leave the church?

I guess I was kind of done.

When I was eighteen nineteen, my brother and I moved to sall like we lived in the town what was it, a condo in Salt Lake City together and we were going to the I think it was the University of Utah, and nonither of us lasted longer than like a semester because it was dumb and stupid and we didn't want to pay all this money to go to school and like being all this debt and bullshit.

But anyway, it's a different conversation.

I was said nineteen then like nineteen twenty I started having sex, and then like three guys on a Wednesday was normal for me.

And then yeah, three guys on Wednesday was normal.

Well, like you know what I mean, Like I was having lots of sex.

So you hit the ground, right, how did Yeah?

So, were you using apps to find guys.

I was credits personals, craitless personal Yeah, okay, so that's a little nod to the Yeah.

Sure, it was like the very end of it, I feel, because I remember when I moved to Florida a couple of years later, it was like down, they got rid of it.

When I moved to Florida.

I think that was in twenty No, twenty seventeen.

When to Florida tway seventeen, twenty eighteen, yeah, pay seventeen.

Okay, Yeah, all right, good times.

Wasn't a really difficult time coming out for you.

I never really came out.

I just kind of just was like, I'm just gonna flaunt what I'm doing in front of everyone, and then if they don't like it, great, and if they do, who cares.

Did you ever have a conversation like with your mom or your brother?

Like, did you ever My mom told me when I was thirteen if I was if I was gay, it was okay, And of course, being a little thirteen year old faggot who was still going to church, like no, I'm not like you know.

But she saw it.

She could see the pain of coorse she did.

She could see the pain.

Yeah, my mom only.

My mom probably only went back to church when after she had my brother and I because it was kind of an ultimatum to keep us so because she had us as a single mother in England in like their mid nineties.

Oh right, I forgot you were born in England.

Were born in England.

You haven't lived there for a time.

I looked there for like two years.

My mom's American Italian, so she wanted to get out of the UK as as she could because she loves America.

Oh god, it's all I mean.

Back back then, back then, America was pretty cool.

Yeah, you know, yeah, the nineties we get a little bit more home of phobic, to be more homophobic now again.

But I think not as a people, not as Americans.

I think it's a weird regime thing.

Yeah, sure, we.

Need to go down there.

We don't want to.

Clinton era was when America was comfortable being America.

As it was at the time.

Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean.

Yeah, And also kind.

Of like Clinton a little bit too, because he didn't really help in a lot of ways.

I mean, like they say Reagan was really bad, and yes he was, but also Clinton did some ship that like really escalated a lot of bullshit with our situation.

Now, well, he was the one that really like put the jobs across the seas.

He protective protected it like designated.

Like rural towns and like Middle America.

And that's why, like now they don't ever vote Democrats ever again because it fucked them up.

Interesting.

Yeah, wow, Okay, you're.

Got what it's called.

But it's a thing.

Let me.

I wanted to ask, because we usually asked this of our guests, what was your introduction to porn?

Like, as far as the consumer, do you remember the first?

So when I was thirteen thirteen, it was between twelve is, between sixth grade and seventh grade, I looked up boys kissing who didn't and I got in trouble.

So I go touch my bishop and like I thought, I had like a porn addiction because like every summer I would get bored and horny.

I would just look up boys kissing whatever.

And that's back when YouTube they had a wholesome boys Yeah, boys kissing, Like I was just yeah, like a girl.

No, like you know, like when you're you're a young horny boy, when like just watching like hot kissing just gets you just hard.

Now I'm like whatever, like who cares, Like where's the fisting?

Not kidding?

Why why is he telling him he loves him?

That's gross?

But yeah, you don't see that important.

I love you, I love you, love you fuck me, it's rare.

He gently lays you down and like a bed of roads.

That would be love.

I just love triangle through friendship love triangle.

Yes, right, just very soft lesbian porn, like constantly and every second can I touch you here?

Can I still touch you?

Is it okay?

Are you saying she just snack oils to drink, But basically yeah, like twelve but it wasn't really porn.

And then after that whole experience of like basically being told porn is bad and like trying to like shove down my homosexuality and pretend like I wasn't gay and hoping it was a phase.

Come Florida.

When I moved to Florida, and basically right before I started doing porn, when I started being like, you know what, porn's kind of hot and I started drinking.

On where in Florida.

I first lived in Lakeland, Florida, which is it's in between Tampa and Orlando.

It's actually a really big area.

But it's inland.

Yeah.

Oh, we lived in inland because we didn't want hurricanes.

Who want some?

Yeah, well, well because the think about hurricanes is the worst part of hurricane.

I mean, yes, the wind, but like also the storm surge.

Yeah yeah, yeah, so like if you me, yeah, kind of not really.

I mean, you know what kind of yeah it is, but it isn't.

Wow.

I feel like a spoiled California hearing this.

This was never something, if at all.

A tsunami thing, but nothing happened.

Yeah yeah, like just some high tide and you're holding on.

Growing up.

For the most part, earthquakes were like kind of exciting.

It was like, oh my god, it was just the north were like oh, I think.

I felt one once with my dog when I first got her last year.

But then, like I could have been high.

I don't know your last year.

When I got my dog last year, I felt one.

I thought I felt one, Okay.

I used to feel them in my apartment on King's Road in West Hollywood because I was up a little building and I was like up.

Then I'd feel like I kind of feel it waving and I'd be like, lose is how I'm gonna die?

And I'd stand under the doorway and then it would pass.

Wow.

Really but yeah, and then I'd get online, and then I'd get online and go to stupid.

I'd go to did you feel it?

Dot com?

Oh really, that's the thing.

Right, I get like the noto vocations on my ring doorbell thing?

Oh yeah, but I didn't.

We didn't have abs like that.

But when I lived on Kings, wait, did you feel it?

I lived on Kings for fourteen years, but you.

Lived on Kings when I first moved here.

Yeah?

Yeah, when was that there were ring doorbells?

That was in twenty twenty.

You moved here in twenty twenty.

That was my last year on King.

I know, I remember.

I remember sucking you in there.

Yeah.

I was very excited too because I knew about you.

Oh yeah you were fresh because you yeah fresh.

Well, yeah, I was very excited.

It was like you.

I I had guys that I knew about that I wanted to work with that I suddenly gained access to by having an only a fan.

So I was like, okay, he was so and he was ne The first one, the first porn guy that I collapseds was JJ Knight, and I was like, yes, and actually one of the what a porn scene that I know you from that I love is from Hot Rock Confessions.

It's New Rock Confessions and J J.

Knight and Alex Makeham and they suck you sauna time.

That's a lot of that was fun.

And I was like, that's a studio okay, which brings me to what was your first studio scene?

And you've told me I give you.

I gave you more than I give people, more than.

They bargain for all the time.

In what way?

I don't know?

And in this case, in what way?

Because he because he asked what was your first studio scene?

But like, there's just so much more nuance.

We like the nuance.

We want nothing to be ashamed.

Of ashamed, you know.

I just don't want to give people too much because it's.

Like, do you mean too much information or too much?

All right?

Let me just answer and then he can yelling you if you want to, okay.

Chapter one.

It was back in twenty eighteen.

I was I just started doing porn.

I had it, so I got an agent in January.

I don't think he even does agent shit anymore.

You did porn before, you did studio Born before only fans exist.

Yes, so I come from a dancing background, so like, I'm kind of like, I love a studio, I love I love a structure.

Yeah, I love a production.

Yeah yeah, yes, yes, so yes, So I started at this.

It was It's broke straight boys is twenty eighteen when you were living in February.

I was living in Lakeland, Florida.

How did how did they find you through my agent?

So you made the decision I want to do porn.

I'm going to get an agent so I can do studio porn.

Yeah.

And the first thing that they got you was this broke.

I was very thin.

Okay, it was tinky tinky.

Yes, yeah, now it happens.

You're at eight at what hell?

I was twenty two, Yes, twing Twink at Best Yes on a good day.

Yes, I was like Twink.

I was twin Water at Best Water over here.

Yeah.

So I did like five things for them because they're one of those I don't even know what they do anymore.

On the take didn't exist?

Okay, how was that experience?

It was great?

It was easy.

Who was your first don't partner?

Don't remember their names because none of them matter.

But I don't want to say, but I'll say, well.

They're broke, straight boys, and I was.

I was there because I wanted to be amazing.

Yeah, and were you yes?

Did you feel like you delivered?

I am now, of course I was.

So you took to it like a duck to water, is what you're saying.

What I was doing?

Yeah, but it wasn't.

I had lots of training and having sex, you know, I mean three guys like every day basically like I was having lots of sex.

When first started having sex.

Do you consider yourself now I'm slowing down, It was like none, it happened.

No, I haven't had sex in a minute.

I remember the last person touched me.

If you feel like, did you ever think that maybe you had a sex addiction?

No?

I was just really horny, it's.

Yeah, because.

I don't.

I didn't ever cont I was eighteen too.

What how I was Mormon.

They don't let you masturbate, and you followed these I didn't know how.

Oh baby, I never touched myself because I was a devout Mormon.

Okay, what I want to.

Know, I wasn't until I was living on my own and then.

It was pause.

Sorry, I need to know what was that first experience.

Like, tell us about the first time we came at eighteen hands free doing sit ups.

Explain tell us this story.

I was doing ups in my room because I was in ballet class, and they would they wouldn't shoot on the boys and little dramatic, but they would tell the boys be strong, so you can let the girls.

The girls roll two pounds and like this is easy whatever, who cares?

But anyway, I was being a diligent dancer and a student, so I was doing sit ups in my room and I probably used my pelic floor muscles in a weird way by accident, oop to Daisy, and I came all over myself hands free doing sit ups.

What wow?

And what did you think when that happened.

I knew what it was.

I've taken sex ed and all the child avelopment classes and ship so like I knew what it was.

But I was like, oh no, oh sinn.

Then I was like scared.

I would do sit ups for for evil Satan.

Satan?

So then, so did you did you like follow?

Were you like, I'm going to try this again?

I tried to not.

Oh yeah, no, I was constantly coming doing setups.

Yet at that point, Wow, can you do it now?

No, No, I'm too sensitized.

She's just been funny so many times in the ass, like the pellic floor is gone.

What if I can remember you don't have a trouble, you don't have a hard time coming.

No.

Yeah, which I think is a good thing for a performer to have.

It's kind of what gets you hired.

It's not a require.

I'm not.

I feel like so many times now I'm working with these twinks that can't can't sove off.

It just takes them.

I don't know why they keep hiring.

But you know what, whatever, they got a fine shots all the time.

It's fine.

You know what, Let it all burn?

Who cares?

Let it all burn?

Let what all burn?

To say?

I think you know what I mean, you know what we're gonna get.

We're gonna get to that.

No, we're gonna get all right, let's keep.

The train on the tracks.

Okay, Sorry, I'm really going to do railing.

Okay.

Sorry, let's let's try not to talk.

And I know when I do that to you, I'm sorry.

It's okay, Okay, I know we're we're all doing it because we're excited to talk.

We're to be here, just three faggots with a lot of say, what has.

Been your favorite studio to work for or the least the one that you hated least?

The hate comes.

Well, all right, the hate comes later.

I hate the hate.

Well, maybe not hate, but it's like a little bit of.

Sadness, a little bit of like hurt.

Yeah, I liked all of them.

I liked all of them for the most part.

Each one had their their their pluses and minuses, Like you know any any place you work.

But you've done a lot of scenes over.

They apparently have done three hundred and seventy one movies.

I didn't know that.

You tell someone told me that you have a good book of work, a solid book of work.

What studio consistently does a good job with you?

I feel, or that you had a best time with Maybe I feel like.

Falcon was the gayest, which was fun, like you feel Falcon was the gayest for me, everyone was gay, like you didn't feel like it didn't feel weird, and even like like it didn't feel weird being there and being homosexual.

And then other studios like I felt like almost in a mask up and like they would always hire these shitty nothing against I guess gayer payers in some respects shapes and forms.

But when you have these gayer payers that are kind of shitty and you know, they're probably getting paid five times as much as you, and they're not really like giving their all and you're doing all the work, that's when I have a problem.

And did that happen a lot with Stern Studios?

Yeah, some of them are still working now.

Wow, Okay, she's moving on to bigger and better things.

And were you mistreated ever?

I feel like that is mistreatment.

What is mistreatment?

Being told being told that you should be so lucky because you're a faggot to fuck these like hot straight guys, but like they're straight and you almost feel like you're raping them.

Were you explicitly told them?

Yeah?

I was told that by studio people or by the performers.

Studio people like, wow, seriously, that's so gross.

I could name them.

I'm not going to.

Okay, you don't have.

It was in Montreal, just say that, so I'll say it for you.

Anyway, did she even do anything anymore?

I don't know what's going on with any of these studios anymore.

I'm so in the dark.

It's so Montrealmen dot Com is based in Montreal, and they do hire a lot of straight men from these.

Stupid strip clubs.

Why can't you hire some good faggot.

Stop bringing in these new pieces of ship.

You already have good gay talent.

I feel like I feel like the straight talent that I worked with in Montreal, they were good performers.

You and I probably have a different we have different Yeah, I know standards, but I felt.

Like they, I mean, we one of them.

I'm a bitch if I can't remember his name.

This one guy, we were shooting at this house and we were waiting for the other scene to be uh finished shooting before our scenes start started, and then we and we got a chance to talk and I just kind of like we kind of had a discussion that was nice and it made it made the scene go better, like where it was just stuck us stuck in a room together and we had to talk.

So I think it made us a little more comfortable, him a little more comfortable with me, and me a little more comfortable with him.

So it worked out.

But that doesn't always happen, especially with and sometimes they have their girlfriend there and they're hanging out with them the whole time.

It's just so weird.

I'm like, why don't you just do straight porn?

Like, I don't know, I don't get it.

I don't understand why.

They don't do get paid lessons straight but.

They work a lot, so it kind of deepens out, like I don't understand, and it's so confusing and weird to me.

I don't know, I don't get it because I don't know whatever whatever.

I'm so upset he has to move the pillow.

Right well, because I'm like, well, I'm looking at the monitor because I am a diva.

I might need to break in a second to like check my hair.

But.

Your hair is beautiful because you're just you guys are just saying that to make me not stop.

You can stop if you want to wait, we can wait.

We can make a break.

No, I'm just letting you know I'm about this.

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Look at this hair, you guys.

Isn't she stunning?

Gorgeous?

She's okay, just beautiful.

It's almost like it was never the moment.

I know.

It's almost like I'm just a Eurotic piece of shit.

Sounds like you were a joy to work with.

I actually am.

I might have a big mouth, a little bit of a cunt.

But you know what I come in.

I do my job.

Yeah.

I mean, if you've done fo hundred movies, there must be she's almost four hundred movies.

Almost four hundred movies and all studios.

There's a lot of money.

Actually, Okay, I know you think about it, I.

Know, and it's all gone.

All right, we'll give us.

So you were so it sounds like you you like had like a big wave where you were doing really well with studio and maybe like you're not doing as much.

What is going on with you in terms of studio work.

I don't know, you don't.

I think here's my thing, Okay.

I was based on like when you think about it, are the seeds are coming up?

When you look at the studios and who actually owns them.

It's straight people.

Straight people are going to invest and it's time straight people.

It's straight men.

By the looks of things.

From what I've observed and from what I've seen, I could be totally wrong, and I can totally admit that, and I'm I am willing to be taught, but I am just saying for the record what I have observed and what I know.

So it's mostly straight men that run them, including the gay side, and so gay straight men are gonna fucking invest in what they want to jerk off to.

So when it comes to the gay shit, they don't give a fucking damn and they're not gonna actually invest in it because they don't fucking see that there's money in it, which I feel like there is, but I guess not or into them.

And then they hire their straight buddies because I guess they'd brother hang out with a bunch of straight people and not hang out with faggots.

And where am I going with this?

I lost my train thought.

Anyway, I'm a victim.

So you've you've soured, I have studio.

I have soured.

I've become a little bitter.

I'm not gonna lie and sorry to hear that.

It's okay.

I don't care because it pushed me to do other things, and yeah, like what kind of things.

Well, she got her SAD card because yeah, congratulations, thank you, And that's the thing too and kind of makes me a little bittersweet too, because I got my SAG card because the people at next door were the ones that got me this job for euphoria on HBO, And that's how I became sack eligible just from that one job.

What did you do on it?

It was like this big finale thing.

I think for the second season they didn't end up using it, but I still like became sack eligible from it and made you know.

It was like a two thousand dollars check.

He was cute.

That's very nice.

It was cute, it was fun, it was a good time.

Was like the dance at the end.

No, it was like the supposed to be like this big dreamy orgy kind of thing.

So like that's what sucks too.

It's like there were lots of like really fun sweet moments in the studios and like you know and whatever.

But then like all of a sudden in twenty twenty three, like rithe was nuts.

That's when it all started.

Yeah, what happened in twenty twenty three.

Well, that's when I media blackout.

No one was talking to me, no one would message me back.

Oh, it was really bizarre.

Did something trigger that?

How would I know?

I don't know, no one told me anything.

And then like when I even like this year when I was at the the gay the ends, when I would kind of like talk with some of the studio people, and they like they would act as if they had no idea.

I'm like, okay, so like.

Either I don't know, but also I think some of them have told me that apparently once a more time, which I kind of knew this already, like once the time the directors had a little bit more say and who they could cast, but then that kind of changed.

So like it's a whole it's a whole thing.

There's a lot of things.

I have no idea what's going on behind the scenes.

But it's stung and it hurt, especially when like I'm the person and we're like when I do things, especially when it comes to like I'm getting paid for it.

I really like to like give all of me and so it kind of becomes who I am, and when you know that's taken away or I'm made to feel like I don't know, it hurts.

Yeah, especially when they don't have a reason and you're like, what the fuck is why am I being blackballed?

Yeah, like I can relate to that a little bit.

Yeah, so yeah, so yeah, but I mean grateful for it now.

I mean I'm a lot happier now and things are getting better now.

And yeah, but it definitely it's stung, and it's still kind of stings.

But okay, I wanted to go back to something a little more fun.

So you've won, You've won like a lot of awards.

Oh thank you, ex Business and Gabians and Grabby's Fleshbots, fleshpots that award.

They don't make them anywhere, and you know what, And I grabbed four of them on the way up.

Which one are Which one do you feel?

Like means the most ex Biz expis.

Because my first expiz was in twenty twenty two and I like made that really crazy speech to all the straight people, like went nuts over because I was on the stage.

Oh my god, it was nuts.

So like it was my first time being nominated for x BIZ and so obviously I went I didn't think I was gonna win because like it was like Cade Maddox and like what was the award?

It was Performer the Year Wow.

And at that time too, it was only a game.

Well no, not anymore.

So.

That was the last year where they only had the two gate categories.

It was I think it was Best Gay Director.

No, it was Best Gay Director, sorry, Best Gate Director and Best uh Performer.

Of the Year.

Yeah, okay, so it was only two and I was one of the two, and I was shocked because, like, you know, like they had Devin Franco and is that his name?

It is it Devon?

Want to make sure.

So I was pissed drunk, as I do as those award shows, like this time was really drunk because I didn't yeah anyway, it doesn't matter.

So I was blackout drunk, and then I found out that I won, and I was saying with my best friend her stage ings Alia Donovan, I love her to death.

Apparently I looked at her in horror, and then I went up stage and gave a big, giant, long, two minute, fucking drunk speech saying like who rigged this for me?

I'm gonna go kill myself?

Blah blah blah.

Think it's which they wore by.

And very very drunk, very yeah, very me and with sunglasses.

It was great.

It was very exciting and fun.

I couldn't believe it.

I remember after remember they were towards the end of the show, we went to the abbey, and I remember like kind of like having consciousness a little bit, but like I held onto that little gold envelope that they give you the whole night because I was scared that it wasn't true.

That's why I held onto it, like I don't you know.

But that one was really nice.

And the following year that's when they ended up adding more gay awards, like whatever.

That's why it's a little bit more special at least for me, because that's when it was like a little.

Bit more exclusive.

It's like when like Beyonce won like the Country Music Award and now they added like two of them instead of like just the one.

Yes, people are jealous and racist.

Sure, Yes, are there any scenes in the past, studio or otherwise that like really stick at you as like wow, I really love doing this, like you're seeing partner you loved, or it was just a really great day.

There were a lot there were.

There were also times too where like I would be like midpen and I'm like, oh god, I want to I want to die midpen just midpen, just doggy, just that's mid penetration for the moms.

I mean, that's that JJ night one was really fun.

That JJ knight meum was fun and sexy in a good time, or like I remember, like I don't know if disruptive is still a thing.

I don't know what I've been so like, yeah, I've been so out of it, so hor I don't even know what's going on how I think works anymore because I feel like also, like here's a here's a consolidating short.

They pay less and they've worked, they hire you less.

That's that's the general.

That's even the then to shut it down, I know, But but.

They pump out so much shitty content now the studio sorry studios, Yeah, but you're going down.

That's so confusing to me because it's like, wouldn't you want to invest in Like, don't you want to sell good cars?

Daddy?

Like you know what I mean?

Like I feel like a Matilda.

They're all afraid of falling behind as far as not giving the consumer enough new scenes.

So they all like when I started, even they shot one scene in a day, there was no this scene.

Then oh we got to finish this one by two o'clock because we got another couple of guys in here.

We got to film them after.

Well, are you saying that like the heyday of like studio porn being this big production is just behind us, Like features, nobody's.

Doing that anymore.

They don't.

They didn't know because the one that I did, It's a Ride or Die, that was like a much bigger budget.

They used everybody the prison one.

That I got said I wasn't in that.

Yeah, I'm sure you.

I almost wasn't.

Very I almost wasn't.

But I I'm a very jealous and competitive girl.

That was a large budget.

That was like, I mean, guys on the crew were like, yeah, we've never worked with this kind of budget before.

And then I don't think it paid up.

I won the best it won everything.

It won awards I won, but maybe it didn't have a lot of revenue.

They got Best Director, but it didn't pay off financially.

Gotcha?

Ok?

I think that that was kind of the end of doing something like that.

That was I think it was a test.

But why fuck over the models?

Like why not like be like all right, let's see it, like maybe we can like budget this better, or let's see we can be smarter with our money so we can get more of a return, Like why be so like throwing the towel.

And well, let me add about let me ask you this, like what how is it like?

For example, I just did my first dudo scene in a while where it was literally just a hotel scene and we were there for three hours.

I got paid not a lot, but it was decent and I was like it was a fifty not bad for like a three hour afternoon and like you know what I mean like this, I was not mad at it.

I didn't have to memorize lines.

I wasn't sweating.

I was here.

Was it for Randy Blue, which I didn't even know was a thing.

That's shocking.

They have been resurrected from the.

Dead, Well the director, it was like a hockey crux for like Austin.

Well, I swear to God like everybody.

And we talked a lot about people's first experiences with porn and Randy Blue is one of the first studios.

Yeah, a long time ago.

A lot of people have this like nostalgic feeling for it, I think, and like remember those scenes being so hot because it was maybe the first gay porn they'd ever seen in video.

Maybe really that wasn't like vintage, you know.

Right, who, I'm confused, whatever, I'm I'm just a baby.

I think I'm just a baby baby with a lot of opinions.

Remember, I think I don't have enough experience anymore with studios to know how they're doing.

I know we've talked about some that do like the content houses, they're so they're kind of gross, you know what i mean.

Like trying to do that with me.

I'm like, I'm not selling my brand that I would rather die.

I would rather just I mean.

It also just goes to show you that the state of the industry has just been it keeps changing.

So like I was in the like my heyday was in the last days of DVD, sounds like your heyday was in the last days of like these big studio productions that were like streaming, and you apparently just worked with a lot.

Of straight people who were shitty to work they were to work with.

I'm just, I'm just.

I'm just.

I'm just a girl with a lot of feelings.

Yes, yeah, Well, how is it doing your own content?

Do you do only fans and stuff?

How's that going?

It's it's good.

It's been good.

I can't wait to be done sometimes, but it's been good.

Are you feeling like you're nearing the end of your trajectory in this industry?

I would love to I'm not, Oh my god, not to be like, oh my god.

I hope I'm not sound like such a negative bitch and no one wants to work with me because I I do.

I do a good job.

I go to work.

I like, you know, I do my thing.

But like I am definitely ready for a new chapter.

Yeah fuckingly yeah yeah.

I mean you've been doing it since you said twenty eighteen concern.

Yeah.

Yeah, so you're doing wait so twenty eighteen?

Oh yeah wait so no, no, no, okay, So you have your sage after card.

Oh yeah, and you're doing an improv show with me next there's Yeah, which is gonna be so fun.

Yes, don't be nervous.

I'm not nervous.

I think it'll be fun.

No, I knows.

I'm not scared at all.

Good.

No, yeah, I hope the other people aren't scared.

I know one of them, just like I have stage right, like really bad?

Wait, who are the other Who are the other performers?

I have Greg Dixon okay, as I like to call them Greg to Dixon he always wants to should say that on stage or inked Jimmy.

Oh that's what we're calling an inked Jimmy.

Not inked pig.

Does he have a background in stage.

And I mean, like I've I've filmed with him a few times and I've hung out with him, and I'm like, he's pretty sharp.

I think you can do.

And we also have really good improvisers that can help us out and steer the ship.

And there's only one way to get a background.

Babe.

You have to start.

You have to start.

That's true.

That is true.

Heart was a good experience.

If you don't, don't start on the stage.

Paid show, yes, hey, if you have that any we're getting paid.

No, people are buying tickets.

Okay, okay, I'll just take the practice.

Yeah, take the practice.

The practice.

Yeah, I think it's just wait.

Question actually about the show, So I note, wait, how does it work?

Are we all just set partners the whole time?

We so, because I have one guy that's just messaging me on on Instagram.

Yeah, we're talking about porn without the porn.

We're doing it at UCB.

It will have already been done by the time this airs, but but I'm sure there will be a next one.

We did plug it in, yeah, so I know.

But then two of the people that I said that we're going to be in it were still plugging it to recast ship.

We still plug it, and we mentioned that Michael is in it, so so, but it's it's like, so there's eight people.

There's four porn performers and four improvisers paired up, so there's like eight two people's scenes.

But there's also a backlook.

If you're in the cast, you can kind of jump in and jump out right.

I'm kind of like if somebody like if they mentioned somebody else, you can be like ring ring talk on the phone and then like or yeah, you can introduce yourself as something in the scene.

It's very silly and fun and stupid, and hardly any of the scenes have anything to do about porn.

Porn.

It sounds great.

I'm just excited that what's your name, Rachel, Rachel Bloom.

Oh my god, that was so cool.

Yeah, I know she did the first one.

She's great.

I just want to be here.

I just want to She was crazy expert.

I'm going to be Amanda Bynes from Easy Friend.

You can't plan, you can't plan them.

I don't want to know.

I'm not about planning.

I just I just want to be her.

I just want to be her fun little gay side kick.

That's all I want.

I remember being at the grabby Is where your mom came with you.

What was that I bought her dress too, I bought her a dress.

What was that experience like to have your mom there?

It was great she's come to that when she came to one of.

The ex business as well, did you did you win?

No?

I wish I wanted the I want of the Grabby's.

Thank god she was there.

Well, it was also about fucking time the Grabbys fucking gave me something.

Same with the Gay Ends.

They didn't give me anything for it forever either.

I was always listening to a certain someone I'm not gonna name.

Well it's because.

I don't know, but anyway, but your mom win an award, seen.

Me win a gray Yeah, that was great.

And they and the whole day they I don't know who was on stage, but they like had her stand and everybody they were like, if you're a men family member, it was it was she she yeah, yeah, they were like whose family members?

Of who was here there?

I think?

And they stood up and everybody like stood up.

Hold on important question, though, what award did you win when she was there?

Do you remember favorite butt?

Well?

I would like to thank my mom.

No, I wouldn't know.

Well, you know, I'm just thank her.

I don't think she would.

Funny, My Italian American mom could not be more proud.

She loves That's great, she loves You're like, I got my butt from my mom.

Who's right there?

Thank your fault.

I mean, that's amazing she did this.

It is a magnificent But have you always had it?

Yes?

Wow?

How do you feel about being type cast as a bottom?

I don't care.

I just want money, right, dude, Like, but you are tapping as much as bottoming.

Or I think it depends on the person.

Right, do you identify as a bottom?

Like the noun like everything?

Okay, I'm every woman, I'm kidding his pan, Yes, No, I'm kidding.

No, I'm I want.

I wanted to bring up you.

Are you like to do looks?

Looks you like to dress up?

Like especially for award shows?

Where does that come from?

I mean, like, actually, I have decided when I go out with with Michael, I want him to come over her so I can see what he's wearing and then just.

Obvious smart basically sunglasses.

Well, I see you out.

I'm trying to not do that anymore.

I'm trying to be more of a a glinda.

Wait what is that about?

Tell me about sunglasses out in the nightclub on you?

What do you mean you didn't know?

This is my journey, This is doesn't here.

I don't know where or why it started.

I think I just did it once to be funny, and then I just kept doing it, and then it kind of became like a weird safety thing or like kind of like I don't know, like me put on my sunglasses just means like people can see me, but I really can't see them as much, so then I feel safe.

It's weird, I don't know.

And if you're drunk, it's the eyes that give I know, well, then I can kind of like.

Look around to be a little like fucked up and like no one really knows.

I mean they know you're wearing sunglasses, but.

Like do you know because I think, well that someone is drunk, that's fine.

No, I see it the way you do.

I think sunglasses are a great way to be able to people watch in a way that makes you feel like you're not being you're not.

It's a safety it's a partition.

Partitions safety blankets.

For sure.

Yeah, but I'm trying not to do that anymore because I'm just I don't know, I think I need to just trying to be I don't know, just a little bit more of an authentic a nice No, not authentic, because me doing what I was doing sunglass wasn't it just like unauthentic.

But I think having more of a more of a presence, right, more of a sweet a sweet girl of the people.

I think it s no, but I think you're on the right track to maybe being able to have a conversation and a little be a little more connected when you're out.

When you're having that instead of with sunglasses on and they're not.

Wearing people will so come up to me.

I know.

Yeah, yeah, I think your evolution is great.

Thank you.

I have loved Yeah, you've and you've made your mark for sure, Like I mean, thank you the Michael Boston of it all.

Oh, stop you guys.

What's next?

Yeah?

Yeah, tell us what's next?

Like what are you what are you excited about for the remainder of twenty twenty five?

Well, right now, I'm working with I've been going to a friend, my friend Jeff McLean, I've been working with him on my seeing voice since twenty twenty one, or we're doing some more.

Hoping to record some stuff an album.

It'll be fun.

Yeah, are you a singer?

I like to sing.

I'm getting more comfortable with it and figuring out how my voice works.

And shit like that.

But it's exciting.

It'll be fun.

And I mean, obviously I wouldn't look to anything that sounds I wouldn't want to lose anything that sounds shit, so it'd have to be amazing.

But just things like that.

And then we're doing background stuff and I have friends who are writing parts for me and shit, and hopefully some things will change and I'm working towards those things and being open and yeah, open minded, open hearted, and open legged.

That is what I'm doing for the rest of twenty twenty five.

Lovely.

I can't wait to see what you do.

Yes, thank you, and we'll see you out about in or out of sunglasses.

Yes.

I love that you come to all the parties.

Thank you, You're welcome.

Oh my god.

No.

I actually just got like accosted bite someone yesterday at the gym and they were like, why ain't coming to Hot Dog anywhere.

I'm like, I'm like, well, the less time I went, I was black out drunk.

I feel like I got carried out with my friends.

Oh no, probably wasn't you can stone cold sober?

Those stairs are like really, I feel like Alice in Wonderland.

I'm like, where are we going?

Like?

This is so crazy?

Has anyone fallen down?

Probably?

I followed over one hundred years old.

Nobody has hurt.

My leg fell off.

It's not quite like black speeches.

But it's honey.

I will not go down there.

I don't think it's worth it really.

Now, she's just being a I'm being a nun now.

So I'm like, I couldn't imagine walking downstairs.

I will never I couldn't imagine, well, not for long, but.

And then a big dick comes along.

Oh, follow me up the rocks?

Good under a tree?

Yeah, I think we have to wrap up.

I've been really lovely having you.

Do you have anything else cool?

Do you have anything for us?

Michael Boston, Not that I could think of.

I feel like I've already like shared a lot.

You've shared a lot.

You are sharing too much?

No, never, there's a lot.

I don't know.

I don't where the line is.

I don't know where it is.

I don't know where the line is entertaining and oversharing, but oh.

Well, well there we are this podcast.

It's it's a big.

Range fair yeah, yeah, yay, and thank god.

Sometimes we complain, sometimes we put things on a pedestal.

Right, and then sometimes we ship on a bunch of people and then hope they don't hear it.

And either way, sorry for asking, that's how it goes.

It's not your fault.

I opened my mouth.

I asked for this.

Well, thanks for coming today, Michael Boston.

Everybody, if you don't know, now you know.

Yeah, well that's it for me.

How about you?

Okay, I'm Adam Ramsay, sorry for asking.

Bye by This has been woraity for asking.

Be sure to like, comment and subscribe, and until next time, stay sexy.