[SPEAKER_03]: Hi, I'm Yui Shiu, and I'm Julie Craftscheck.

[SPEAKER_03]: We're active data's turn dating insiders.

[SPEAKER_03]: Here to dive into everything modern dating and relationships.

[SPEAKER_03]: Welcome to Datable.

[SPEAKER_03]: Hello friends welcome back to date of all in 2026 happy new year happy new everything do we feel brand new reputed bottle So I've been seeing it so much about how 2025 we're exiting the year of the snake where the [SPEAKER_00]: There was like so much tension and a lot of things not padding out and we're entering the year of the horse Where there's supposed to be major break-throughs.

[SPEAKER_00]: Do you think there's any truth to that or is that just take talkers spewing things off?

[SPEAKER_03]: I totally believe in Chinese zodiac.

[SPEAKER_03]: Do you know your zodiac sign?

[SPEAKER_03]: You're not zodiac.

[SPEAKER_03]: My Chinese one.

[SPEAKER_03]: No [SPEAKER_03]: Okay.

[SPEAKER_03]: We'll look it up.

[SPEAKER_03]: I'm not monkey.

[SPEAKER_03]: But the snake is a represents a year of shedding.

[SPEAKER_03]: So sort of like letting go of the old ways of doing things.

[SPEAKER_03]: But the horse is interesting because the horse puts things into action.

[SPEAKER_03]: So what I keep reading about is snake was a year of inaction.

[SPEAKER_03]: A lot of like in our head thinking, analyzing and horse is going to be a year of [SPEAKER_03]: Well, that's exactly what we kind of need.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I definitely like, despite having a lot of milestones in 2025 and like having a good year objectively, I think there was a lot of that energy still that I was personally feeling.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: So the explore sense now why there was behind it.

[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, and I think it was so for so long, we felt like we were at a standstill, people were getting off the dating apps, people were not texting, not even engaging in dating, so I think this is a good sign for 2026 where I think more people will be engaging in dating and maybe I don't know, I kind of feel like hook up culture will make a comeback in some ways.

[SPEAKER_01]: That's not what I thought you were going to say.

[SPEAKER_01]: I do feel like this.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like I don't know if it needs to be to the level it was because I think like looking back like hookup culture was a bit just empty and degrading But I do think we've swung like too far now.

[SPEAKER_00]: No, that like dating is like [SPEAKER_00]: clinical and work and interview ask and it's just not fun anymore.

[SPEAKER_00]: There's no more magic.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I agree with you that if you could get a little more of that back, you never hear those like first-rate stories anymore, right?

[SPEAKER_00]: Of just like, you know, like the wild make out at the end or you don't get that, like no one's talking about it.

[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, exactly.

[SPEAKER_03]: And I think because the year of the snake was so much about strategy that we were just all like thinking about planning our love lives like what would be our strategy to do this.

[SPEAKER_03]: I think that it's good to sit to sit back and like pause and think about this.

[SPEAKER_03]: But now it's time to just put it into action and actually practice what you preach.

[SPEAKER_03]: And for so many of us, I think we were behind a screen scrolling through videos, learning, learning, learning.

[SPEAKER_03]: Now let's just actually do it.

[SPEAKER_00]: So we have a really good episode today.

[SPEAKER_00]: Of course we love to have these episodes when you get back into the new year.

[SPEAKER_00]: What is like our twenty twenty six intended for love will both share kind of the words that we go by.

[SPEAKER_00]: We always like that over New Year's resolutions, but also just like how do you manifest this relationship or like, [SPEAKER_00]: how do you take maybe what you've manifested and make it actionable?

[SPEAKER_00]: Like I think manifest can be actionable or it can be just sitting and thinking and maybe we're done with the sitting and thinking or ready to like move into that action part.

[SPEAKER_00]: So we're excited to get into it.

[SPEAKER_00]: We've a lot to discuss today.

[SPEAKER_03]: Let's do it, let's do some manifesto.

[SPEAKER_00]: Before we get into the episode though, we have a really exciting segment from a special guest Dr.

Serena Sterling who's going to tell us about her new dating app that we just feel like is so aligned with intentional dating and where we're headed.

[SPEAKER_00]: So let's get into it first with Dr.

Sterling.

[SPEAKER_03]: special guest, Dr.

Serena Sterling here, to talk about her new dating app Sattia, which is designed to help singles who are genuinely seeking meaningful, long-term relationships by encouraging authenticity and teaching healthier dating practices, so welcome Serena.

[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome, we're so excited to talk to you.

[SPEAKER_00]: What made you decide to create this app?

[SPEAKER_02]: I was getting so frustrated with my experience being on and off the apps and noticing as the [SPEAKER_02]: The behavior from users was getting worse and worse.

[SPEAKER_02]: And so I fell with my background and clinical psychology, plus my personal and professional experience on these apps that I could solve.

[SPEAKER_02]: some of the major issues that other apps are causing.

[SPEAKER_03]: Well, then we love the idea that intentional dating is really the norm, rather than the exception on Satya.

[SPEAKER_03]: And the goal is to treat others with respect, which is we've heard a lot of complaints about and I'm dating apps.

[SPEAKER_03]: So we wanted to talk about one feature that we found particularly interesting, which is a dating purgatory.

[SPEAKER_03]: I love this word, purgatory.

[SPEAKER_03]: What is it, and why did you think it was necessary to have this feature?

[SPEAKER_02]: I decided that there is zero accountability on these other apps.

[SPEAKER_02]: Like, a user can be a fake person or hiding behind outdated photos or consistently ghosts and breadcrumbs and does not show up or not even be single for that matter.

[SPEAKER_02]: And think that they desire a good partner, but they keep treating people terribly.

[SPEAKER_02]: And so that's not, okay, it's just not okay to like keep doing that to someone.

[SPEAKER_02]: And yes, I've ghosted someone, you know, before and I'm not proud of it.

[SPEAKER_02]: But I feel like we learn from our mistakes.

[SPEAKER_02]: And so a lot of people get banned or blocked from apps by mistake.

[SPEAKER_02]: And so if someone gets rated poorly five times for ghosting or breadcrumming or making no effort or like being inappropriate in some way, then they go to this area of the app called purgatory where they can only interact.

[SPEAKER_02]: with other uploading videos.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's jail, that's a dump to get you out.

[SPEAKER_01]: There's a lot of get out.

[SPEAKER_02]: They do not get out of there unless they watch six videos from the grow tab.

[SPEAKER_02]: They have just like, you know, the videos are like one to four minutes long and so they're from licensed therapists And psychologists talking about dating and how to show up as a good data So if they don't do that and if they don't write an appeal and the appeal is not an essay It's like Three sentences of like I didn't realize I was doing this.

[SPEAKER_02]: I really want to get back on If they don't do that, they get removed and blocked from that because we don't want them [SPEAKER_00]: I love this.

[SPEAKER_00]: This is such a good way to teach people, but also like make them better daters.

[SPEAKER_00]: I guess like why do you think keeping poorly behaving users accountable will help modern dating?

[SPEAKER_02]: Because I don't think that everyone understands what they're doing wrong.

[SPEAKER_02]: I think they just [SPEAKER_02]: repeating the same patterns without being pulled hey when you go to that person or like because a lot of people on these apps you know like until we see them or meet them in real life they're just like behind a screen and so they don't really think that much of their careless behavior and so it doesn't automatically like when you meet your person you don't automatically have all these amazing skills and plays why don't you start?

[SPEAKER_02]: with the people you're interacting with online rather than like wait and think that you just are going to have these skills in place.

[SPEAKER_03]: Ah, so true.

[SPEAKER_03]: There's just so much more to talk about with you, Dr.

Sterling, we're going to have you back for the next few episodes talk about more about Satya and your experience so stay tuned listeners for those episodes.

[SPEAKER_00]: And Dr.

Sterling, where can people learn more about you in Satya?

[SPEAKER_02]: I have a website, satyadating.com.

[SPEAKER_02]: You can also download the app from the App Store and Google Play right now.

[SPEAKER_02]: It's available in California.

[SPEAKER_02]: And we just expanded to Salt Lake and Park City, Utah.

[SPEAKER_00]: Awesome.

[SPEAKER_00]: Well, great.

[SPEAKER_03]: Thanks, Dr.

Serling.

[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you.

[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, manifesting.

[SPEAKER_00]: 2026 love or brug it at the share.

[SPEAKER_03]: We got to do it.

[SPEAKER_03]: And I think manifestation is this phenomenon that is preached on the internet.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

[SPEAKER_03]: But so many of us don't actually understand how you do it.

[SPEAKER_03]: And I think the best way it's been described to me is when you're dreaming, you're actually manifesting because you feel it.

[SPEAKER_03]: And that's the most important part of manifesting.

[SPEAKER_03]: It's that you got to feel it.

[SPEAKER_03]: It can't just be in your head.

[SPEAKER_00]: but you can't just like be at home also like being like a manifesting even if you're leaving and never do anything.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's the part with manifestation that gets me that it feels a little like wubu.

[SPEAKER_00]: I do think though before I met my now husband I did manifest a bit that I like felt it coming.

[SPEAKER_00]: But it didn't stop, but just feeling it in like waiting.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I think that's maybe like the missing piece.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, yes, you need to believe, I think at the end of the day, believing and having that faith that things are going to work out is so pivotal, but there also has to be steps.

[SPEAKER_03]: You can't feel it until you experience it, right?

[SPEAKER_03]: And I think in a lot of these manifestation courses, they just teach you to think about your ideal love life.

[SPEAKER_03]: But if you're not meeting people, then you're not getting the feedback of if this is even aligned with what I want to feel in a relationship.

[SPEAKER_00]: Right, it doesn't mean that you need to meet like 1,000 people either.

[SPEAKER_00]: We clearly are not like dating as a numbers game people.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I mean, I think the first step is really this like getting clear on the relationship that you're calling in, which is a good little plug to go get how to be dateable.

[SPEAKER_00]: Our book, because one, you know, we go through at the beginning of the book, like all the traps that are getting into your way of modern dating, and then what are we going to do about it?

[SPEAKER_00]: what are we going to do about it?

[SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, it is a lot of these are kind of in line with, you know, setting up that manifestation and moving into action.

[SPEAKER_00]: And one of our chapters gain and clarity is exactly this.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's getting clear on what you want, what's your dating your star, what that means is why are you dating at the first place and not just to be in a relationship, like the real y underneath that?

[SPEAKER_00]: And then what are your core needs and values that you're looking for?

[SPEAKER_00]: And we have an exercise, and I remember doing this when I was single, just like visualizing like, how do you want to spend holidays with your partner?

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, how do you want to like do birthdays and be celebrated?

[SPEAKER_00]: And thinking like making it so like clear that you can feel it.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like it feels realistic, it feels like it could come to you.

[SPEAKER_03]: It's so different than wishing, wishing is like I'm just going to wish for something and hopefully it happens.

[SPEAKER_03]: I think manifestation, the part that we always miss is that it takes effort.

[SPEAKER_03]: We have to be aligned to it and we have to make choices that are orienting to it as well.

[SPEAKER_03]: So once you have clarity on what you're looking for, [SPEAKER_03]: All of your choice's decisions actions behaviors align to that.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I mean, I think a big piece of it, too, isn't just like, of course, it's thinking about the big moments like I mentioned.

[SPEAKER_00]: The birthday is the celebration, but like you could even think about like, okay, like what is conflict look like with my [SPEAKER_00]: partner.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like what we have a challenge, are we sitting there?

[SPEAKER_00]: Is it still coming from a place of love?

[SPEAKER_00]: Are we not screaming at each other and doing all the things that we don't want to be doing in a relationship?

[SPEAKER_00]: How do I feel on a day-to-day?

[SPEAKER_00]: Do I feel relatively safe and sick?

[SPEAKER_00]: cure am I not feeling anxious or like some of the feelings that maybe have gotten in the way in the past?

[SPEAKER_00]: I think thinking about all of that is so important in the reason why we stress it in our book and it's coming back now too is because when you can envision what it you want it to feel like it becomes so much more abundantly clear when you meet a person that can meet those needs.

[SPEAKER_03]: And it feels more realistic like it's in this realm and not some outer realm that you have to like transport to it is so achievable and we can get there once we set a clear intention.

[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, we set a clear intention for 2026.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, I think they're all different like depending on where you are in your stage of life, but I guess like for you, what is your attention?

[SPEAKER_03]: I think my overall intention, alignment, I want to be more aligned with what I want to achieve and what I want to become and that's in my love-life personal life, professional life, etc.

[SPEAKER_03]: So that would be my word slash intention.

[SPEAKER_03]: What about you?

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, I think my intention overall, I was thinking about what word envisions it and I think it's like healthy and that means like healthy and not just, you know, physical health, but like emotional health financial health like.

[SPEAKER_00]: just feeling good and that I think seeps into your relationship too like if you feel, you know, mentally strong and in a good place then that only like, you know, slows down into the relationship with your partner.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I think having some of that like safety stability, stability is another good word is a good word for me.

[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, when your cup is full, then you can give from your cup, but if your cup is not full, then you don't have much to give to, you know, someone else.

[SPEAKER_03]: So that makes a lot of sense.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I mean, of course, like if you're like looking for love or like looking for a relationship that might look very different, it might be like just envisioning like how do I want my day to day to feel like what are some of those core needs that we talk about in the dating to a star and you know like what what kind of partner could actually meet you where you are now we have our perfect partner equation that's another big part of getting clear of like what is it that I'm looking for and who is right for me.

[SPEAKER_03]: And one thing about setting intentions just a side note is don't make it about the relationship or someone else.

[SPEAKER_03]: Make it about you and that translates into a relationship.

[SPEAKER_03]: For example, my friend recently told me she's like, my intention is to be in my power.

[SPEAKER_03]: And if I'm with the right partner, I will feel empowered to be who I am, to be authentic, right?

[SPEAKER_03]: So I think the flip side, when sometimes when you're setting intentions, you might say, I want to feel good in a relationship or I want to feel like a power couple or I want to find this X, X, Y, and Z in relationship.

[SPEAKER_03]: Make it less about that and make it more about you.

[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so glad you said that because I think [SPEAKER_00]: Don't get me wrong.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think there's a lot of good that's come from that.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's nice to have an idea of where you're going And you're not just like, oh, we'll see what falls on my lap.

[SPEAKER_00]: I just see what happens.

[SPEAKER_00]: That big said I do think that's why dating has felt not fun.

[SPEAKER_00]: Like, yeah, you know, this like methodical like you [SPEAKER_00]: interview ask as we're so focused on the goal and it goes back to like this whole exercise of like you know getting clear on the relationship you're calling in it would be so easy to say oh my intention is to be you know meet someone next year and get married in the next couple years but that's a goal what we're saying is like how do you set an intention of how you're gonna show up and then also get [SPEAKER_00]: And therefore you're not just like, okay, I'm going to end up in any relationship or I'm going to like meet this goal, it's more about like finding what's aligned for you.

[SPEAKER_03]: What you just described is exactly a snake.

[SPEAKER_03]: A snake is someone, it's a year of being in our heads, but also for a snake, there's a winner and a loser.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_03]: And I do think we spent a lot of last year thinking about how can I win in dating?

[SPEAKER_03]: How can I not be the one being broken up with or going through heartbreak, right?

[SPEAKER_03]: And a horse is all about a win-win.

[SPEAKER_03]: Horse is not a predator.

[SPEAKER_03]: So in this new year, we can think about more scenarios [SPEAKER_03]: That are less about how do I make sure I'm coming out of this okay versus how do I use my relational skills so that it creates a win win situation for everyone so kind of like in dating if someone's not the right fit for you then set them free to be with the person who would be good for them that's a win win and not like I need to hang on to them until I find someone better.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_00]: And that kind of moves actually into step two of, you know, manifesting this for 2026 is remove what's blocking love.

[SPEAKER_00]: And this is a big one.

[SPEAKER_00]: We actually talk about it also in our book.

[SPEAKER_00]: Who would have thought it was set up this way?

[SPEAKER_00]: But it was like that we have a chapter called Letting Go.

[SPEAKER_00]: And in a way, it's very similar.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I think a big piece of this, I know for me, was paramount to get rid of like the wrong people, like you were just saying instead of holding on so you win.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's like being okay to be like, okay, this person is, you know, it's nothing like I'm dating for the potential of this person.

[SPEAKER_00]: Be like this person is not measuring up.

[SPEAKER_00]: They are not who I can build a life with.

[SPEAKER_00]: The reality is that this is not going to work.

[SPEAKER_00]: I think I was so afraid to look at like reality because it looks like I was like less than because I couldn't like keep someone.

[SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, do you really want to keep someone out?

[SPEAKER_00]: You can't build with anyways?

[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and we're keeping it, is it going to move the needle if you keep pushing uphill?

[SPEAKER_03]: And that is sort of what our chapter about letting go is about in our book is if you're keeping if you keep these blocks in your life, no matter how hard you're trying, you're not actually making any progress.

[SPEAKER_03]: So let's remove those blocks and figure out what's getting in your way.

[SPEAKER_00]: I want to dive into this even more, but before we do, let's take a quick break to hear from our partners.

[SPEAKER_03]: And another way to do this, which is the next step, is just becoming energetically and behaviorally available.

[SPEAKER_03]: So this just means, what does my energy?

[SPEAKER_03]: How am I showing up?

[SPEAKER_03]: What are the actions and choices I'm taking?

[SPEAKER_03]: Am I aligning myself with how I want to show up in this world?

[SPEAKER_03]: And how I want love to show up for me in this world?

[SPEAKER_00]: This is a really good one too, because I think we're always like, we want someone emotionally available, but the question is, are we emotionally available?

[SPEAKER_01]: Uh-huh.

[SPEAKER_00]: You know, like, we did this episode, it will still stay with me with Cotter Beaded, and I remember like, going there, because I had this dating situation of this guy, I felt like, wasn't emotionally available.

[SPEAKER_00]: And he completely turned it to me, [SPEAKER_00]: to being like, okay, if you're experiencing this, what can you do to share your needs, share what you're looking for, and if it's not right, being okay to move on.

[SPEAKER_00]: And I think like sometimes we think we are, like I think before that kind of call-in, I'll call it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, yeah, being super available, I'm always ready for text or I'm ready to go out.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I wasn't being actually upfront with my emotions and how this was feeling towards me.

[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, you don't always get the kind of answer you're looking for all the time.

[SPEAKER_00]: But I think having the ability to have that hard convo with that person, [SPEAKER_00]: and eventually it opened up the right person like shh like quickly after.

[SPEAKER_00]: So I think that is a big piece of it of just like you could be open like going out all the time and doing the things but are you really open?

[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, and that's so in line with that next step which is acting in alignment.

[SPEAKER_03]: just like a horse who has a very strong sense of direction, a horse knows exactly where they're going.

[SPEAKER_03]: And they're not.

[SPEAKER_03]: They might take detours, but they're going generally in that direction.

[SPEAKER_03]: So let's start getting clear.

[SPEAKER_03]: And I think what I mentioned earlier was like, let's ask the questions earlier.

[SPEAKER_03]: Let's get [SPEAKER_03]: the answers, ASAP.

[SPEAKER_03]: Let's figure out what we want to feel and how this person makes this feel right away.

[SPEAKER_03]: Let's stop marinating because now you're clear about what you're looking for, act in alignment with it.

[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, this is also something we talk about a lot.

[SPEAKER_00]: It how to be [SPEAKER_00]: because like we have the chapter about investing appropriately and you can't invest appropriately if you're not taking action.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you're just waiting, like waiting for the text, waiting for someone to tell you how they feel about you.

[SPEAKER_00]: And like, I'm sorry, it's so archaic to think like, especially as women, like we can't make moves.

[SPEAKER_00]: We're not saying you make all the moves, but you, like, I'm ever getting to a point that I was like, I have too much to do to be sitting here.

[SPEAKER_00]: Analyzing in my head if someone likes me or not, if they're going to ask me out again, I'm going to get the answer and that meant like, I had to like text them and like profess my love, but I could text them and see if they were receptive to talking instead of just wait.

[SPEAKER_03]: It's that, it's something about a winner and loser.

[SPEAKER_03]: Like, if you make a move, then you've lost in this game, think about making a move for yourself.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

[SPEAKER_03]: Would I benefit from this action I'm about to take?

[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, because I'm actually gonna get answers.

[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, because I'm actually going to plan out my weekend instead of waiting around coloring.

[SPEAKER_00]: And it all, it all gives you data.

[SPEAKER_00]: That's the most important part.

[SPEAKER_00]: It gives you data and then what do you have that clarity?

[SPEAKER_00]: You can respond accordingly.

[SPEAKER_00]: Mm, I like that.

[SPEAKER_00]: So the last bit of this, we're going to give you, we're going to leave you with a 2026 love attention's ritual.

[SPEAKER_00]: So right these down, we have three things that we want you to do.

[SPEAKER_00]: The first one is one belief to release.

[SPEAKER_00]: The second is one standard to raise and then the third is one behavior to commit to this year.

[SPEAKER_03]: Hmm.

[SPEAKER_03]: And if you want to take this a step further, right?

[SPEAKER_03]: The one thing to release after you write it down, burn it, rip it apart, throw it away, let it go.

[SPEAKER_03]: The one thing you want to raise, the standard, put it somewhere up high like a pedestal and then the behavior you want to commit to this year, put it in your purse, put it in your wallet, something that stays with you every day.

[SPEAKER_03]: things.

[SPEAKER_00]: If you want to take it like five steps higher, you can sign up for our five-degree person, coaching app, and tell the coach about your 20-26.

[SPEAKER_00]: There you go.

[SPEAKER_00]: Love intentions at how you want to set it up.

[SPEAKER_00]: We've talked about this before, but if you're new here, [SPEAKER_00]: we have this really, really cool AI powered coaching app that we released in November.

[SPEAKER_00]: It's through a partner of ours called Studio and they have all this technology that will basically give you a personalized experience based on whatever you're going through.

[SPEAKER_00]: journaling there's exercises and all of this has AI functionality to give you kind of like feedback and you know pattern finding and ways that really moves you to action which is perfectly aligned with the year of the horse.

[SPEAKER_00]: So this is the take it it's take it steps further.

[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, it's keep have the AI coach keep you accountable.

[SPEAKER_03]: In fact, that's a prompt you can use.

[SPEAKER_03]: and give me daily reminders, and it will do just that.

[SPEAKER_03]: So you can find this app at studio.com slash dateable.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yep, or go to our website, of course.

[SPEAKER_00]: And all the info you can find anything there.

[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, I mean, I guess in short, wanna leave everyone that love as a head.

[SPEAKER_00]: 2026 is gonna be a big year.

[SPEAKER_00]: We are moving into shit happening.

[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, let's move the needle.

[SPEAKER_00]: So definitely share with us.

[SPEAKER_00]: We always love seeing comments on Spotify or reviews on Apple podcast.

[SPEAKER_00]: What are you doing in 2026 or even just send us a DM or email us?

[SPEAKER_00]: But tell us how you're approaching this year differently and how you're really going to take the horse by the reins and do some new things that lead to action.

[SPEAKER_03]: Let's have a fantastic 2026, and we all all see you very soon.

[SPEAKER_03]: On that, we're gonna wrap up this episode.

[SPEAKER_03]: Stay safe!

[UNKNOWN]: Stay safe!