Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.

She couldn't She cleaned and cared for her children and the man of the house, and of course she didn't talk back.

She was both obedient and soft by nature.

She was a good woman who always made good choices.

We're good mom's bad choices.

Who's single mom who said fuck the patriarchy?

Shared all their bad choices and sound out they were so bad.

After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties.

Sit back and enjoy the ride.

I can do it.

Welcome back to good Mom's bad Choices.

I'm America, and I'm Nila, your little titty committee leader, and I'm here to tell you don't need big titties to thrive.

You can have sch medium or extra larger petite, which you're like mine a small bee.

Don't you dare say triple A because they're not.

And you can thrive with these big old titties anywhere in a bathing suit in the snow at Disneyland and your while riding.

One of the things I used to have problems accepting is when I was on top and I go like this, it kind of looks like utters like a cat, so I don't really remind myself not to do that, but not anymore.

Oh like you has always got a art your back.

Well, you just can't do this, okay, because I don't look good like that.

But that's not the point.

I love them and always I don't think.

I think all the men, all the men that have seen your titties in that position, have not had that thought.

I think women generally are were in our heads.

We're not busy because your pussy's wrapped around their peace and thinking about, oh my god, her tits look like utters.

You just gotta squeeze your life away and then they won't remember shit.

Yep, exactly.

Just key distract them, squeeze the life out of their deck stores.

Wherever you're at right now, if you're listening to this and your headphones at work or in the car, let's just take a collective good mom's squeeze of the person.

Squeeze gay squeeze, squeeze, geeze, squeez squeeze, squeze, squeeze, squeeze an exhil, don't say good moms never did anything for you.

Yes, you're welcome, husband and boyfriend and digmatized nigga that you found last week.

I had someone in my DM's yesterday asking about how big my boobs were because she's getting a breast reduction and she was curious what size I had, and she has a J and I was like, god, damn, I.

Wasn't really a J though, because Victoria be lying.

I got to ae F.

But they but that's not an F, so they'd be lying like Victoria's secret.

No, but that was no.

I was an F like not Victoria's secret.

Not this when I had When I got frien, I was and I was breastfeeding, my tits were added.

Really, yeah, I do want to need to see footage?

Yeah, I show you actually when if you see my tits when I was breastfeeding, that's actually the book.

That's actually the picture I'm going to present the doctor because they looked great and they were probably like a large seat.

In fact, I'm going to scroll through my photos just so I can insert it here because it's very important to me.

It's actually my best boob life is when I was breastfeeding.

Unfortunately, there's milk coming out, so it wasn't like thriving like I would want it to if they were real, fake, fake, real, but yeah, god, that's like my one motivation to get pregnant again.

Like, hey, Landa, look at these You never seen this before.

I know.

But the only thing about it is when they're that size, like they're being used so much.

Yeah, actually it's like get the fuck away.

It's like you're in like the best hit, got the best hits of your life, and they're doing neckless doing that.

I mean they're I mean they're doing they're doing that fun for you.

Really, that's true.

And have you ever when you're breastfeeding, were you ever like riding and then like you're also like full and then they start to go like like you could squirt.

I didn't.

I didn't breastfeed long enough for that to happen.

They would like simultaneously just be especially in the shower.

I don't think I was having sex too.

I was like, get the fun.

I literally was.

That was pretty much my whole pregnancy up until maybe one year after I had Iri.

I didn't really I didn't.

I wasn't really second.

I don't even remember.

I actually I don't remember any I don't really don't remember.

I actually can't even remember.

There's like a big part of I think the early days of motherhood that I literally don't have a don't have recklee.

Maybe it'll come back later.

Maybe if I do AMDR.

Let me tell you why.

Why Because it was traumatized.

I know, because you were traumat I know that's why I don't remember either.

Maybe I could do AMDR and then it'll come back.

You don't want to, I mean, there's gotta be there's some good ship that happened, for sure.

I think I blocked out, like all of my pregnancy.

I can't remember, like really shit except I think I found my baby daddy and bumble and amongst other things.

I remember my pregnancy.

It's after the pregnancy that I don't remember anything.

I remember after a little bit, but like that full two years, like the pregnancy in that first year were a little bit like a blur because I was probably like very miserable and said.

There's a lot going on.

You're literally walking into like a rite of passage that no one can there's nothing that can prepare you.

Literally, I don't care.

You've got mom, friends, lots of sisters, siblings, whatever the fuck you thought you knew, you don't until you go through this.

Because your hormones also you're like literally not in control anymore.

You're out of control your bache, you're crazy.

You're basically like a host takes over your body.

It's like a zombie apocalypse because like your hormones take over.

It's not even you anymore.

Good luck.

So for those that are thinking about having a baby, congratulation.

It's actually truly like a zombie because the baby, you are a host.

You're like your hormones stake over your personality.

The baby takes over your actual nutrients in your body, and you like go elsewhere that we don't really know yet where you go.

But maybe this.

Maybe we're like stuck in another dimension, like.

We're like resting.

Maybe we're resting to rest because we know it's like we want to have to stay up along a lot of hours.

Do you hear that this is your only way to rest.

You won't remember and you won't feel rested at all, But it'll be great.

Maybe in our second pregnancies it will be different and we'll have a memory.

Well, because we're more self aware now, but also we forgot.

I'm kind of scared because I know more, and because I know more, you know more.

But also we forgot.

I forgot, But then, like I know so much information.

Our bodies are different.

What if we have a totally different reaction our bodies like some other wild shit.

That's my biggest fear.

It's ten years later, Like I'm primarily concerned about chin hair growth.

I already have that problem.

I do.

That's why I'm already have that problem with Actually I forgot to pluck that chin hair this morning that I saw on the.

Like triples, and then I'll die.

Maybe, So that's not.

Gonna die die.

I guess to another dimension.

I'm gonna get electrolysis.

I got electrons.

Did it work?

Though?

I got electrolysis while I was pregnant.

I don't know if I was supposed to do that, but I did it.

Not well, it worked, yeah, because I was getting I told you I grew a beard on my neck, a little patch, a little circa may right here, like between ten and fifteen.

Really it was substantial, really.

Like enough that I was like, were you visibly pregnant?

Did the lady know you're pregnant?

Yeah?

Oh okay, oh okay, I mean I respine, Yeah, yeah, she's fine.

I was supposed to shave it.

No, no, no, I don't know what you're suppsed to do.

I would do the same thing.

I would risk it all.

I mean, we've done it.

People have done worse things.

People smoke crack.

I just got electrolysis.

I fun fact, fun bag.

If we're really gonna like way the go on the spectrum of irresponsible good mom, good mom's bad choices, I'm gonna lean more towards the good mom.

I once watch the documentary about the crack era, and what I collected from the whole thing was scientists were really surprised that after the crack epidemic that a lot of the babies that were products of like crack moms, they were affected, but not as affected as they thought they were going to be.

So if you're crack, but you're fine, razzle dazzle all extra sprinkle like like quite literally and it might be genius, You're welcome.

And in the sixties they were telling women to drink martinis and smoke cigarettes while they were pregnant.

So the point is we don't really know electrolysis is problem.

A lot of people from the sixties are fucked up.

It's not because they are drinking.

All the people that are in power now around that time.

Because he's fifties.

Those guys are a little it's because their moms didn't hug them.

That's the real issue.

It's not the martinis and the hug marbles, the hugs.

The hugs.

Yeah, you gotta hug your kids important.

Well, I'm glad that sorry, we just will.

I'm glad that we we've recovered that.

Yeah, and that we've we got hugs and we're giving our children hugs.

And then I did not smoke crack while I was pregnant.

I did not electrolysis, which was I lady did some other things before I knew I was pregnant.

It wasn't smoking crack, though, but there was some other things that Luda's fine.

She was great.

She's wonderful, intelligent, funny.

The other things might have made gave her a sense of humor.

We makes.

It gives you the giggles.

It will give your baby the giggles too.

Oh God, don't endorse anything that we say, because we are not all for entertainment purposes.

I didn't do any of these things.

We were twenty six.

What we're supposed to do, who knows?

Like we're children, We were children having children.

You know, you couldn't tell me I wasn't grown though.

Oh no, not at all.

It's like, I'm a grown woman.

I am twenty six years old, mom, and I'm gonna have this baby, you know.

I was sitting with my mom yesterday and I was telling her, like, some some stuff that's going on with my little sister who's nineteen.

Did you ever respond to that text message?

I did after I calmed down, and it went, well, I'm glad that I was able to be a big sister.

Not a bitch.

That's good for you, because I was thinking, wow, yeah, yeah.

It took me an hour but and a few rewrites of the text message.

But I was telling my mom about what was happening, and when I left her, I was thinking because I was like, she's a child, like she's a child, and my Mom's like, well, she's not really a child, like she's nineteen, she's a teenager.

And then I was thinking about my mom listening to her daughter tell her this, and I'm obviously I'm not nineteen, but I'm still a child in my mom's eyes, and just like her thinking.

The crazy part is will always be children.

I know.

And then I was but I was just thinking about I retelling me this, and I was just like, Wow, it just keeps going.

Huh.

I just like we always think we're grown.

We just always think we're grown.

And we're not.

Let's just accept the fact that we'll never be grown, We'll never be fully grown, We're always we're always growing.

I talked to my mom this morning, and we literally speak different languages.

I don't know if my communication language is just off from the world, but like we're like having the same conversation but like clashing it not.

And I'm like agreeing, but we're still arguing, and I'm like, what the fuck is happening right now?

She's like, I listened to your episode for the one episode for the first time ever.

I was like, oh really, really, which one was the Moms Heal the World?

Oh?

God, of course, okay, And I was like, I don't think that was too bad, but yeah, my mom has not listened to my entire podcast in seven and a half years, nor has she read my book.

And then she told me she to end to dive into the book this weekend.

She's like, what she been saying about me over yet?

Now that I did you say anything?

Did you say anything on the episode about her.

No, I don't.

I mean I think I said some things, but I don't think.

I think I actually said she's been doing a lot better, and yeah you did.

Yeah, So that's probably why she's like, let me read the book now.

But today she was like, she'd asked me to take her to her colonoscopy and I said yes, and then I was like, what time is it, Like where is it at and she's like, yeah, well if you take me, yeah, well you need to remember, and I'm like, I, okay, yes, I wrote it down.

It's in my calendar.

Okay.

Yes.

She's like, why are you talking to me like that.

I was like, because I feel like I keep saying okay, yes, I'm doing it, and there's still She's like, I just feel like I was just like I just had to let it go.

And I was just like, uh huh, yeah, I took Lenda to school today.

Moms, mom's moms and moms moms.

We just want our point, We need to get our point out.

We need to make sure that you know all the details.

Twelve times we're all because we're still in mom mode.

And also maybe she's nervous too, so she's just like saying stuff to say stuff and wants you to be in the know of everything that's going on because this is a medical procedure.

Then she's like, I could just drive myself home.

I'm like, I think the point is that I drive you home.

She's like, you just have to show up and tell them that you're taking me home.

I've done it before.

I was like, over, the point is that, That's what I said?

Why would I go all the way there to do that?

I said, you wait.

Thirty minutes, go get a couple of coffee and come bring your drug ass home.

That's what I said.

I said, just uber and I'll be there to pick you up.

Well, yeah, I don't know.

I know anyway, moms never get less stressful or frustra.

It's because she wanted you to take her and the fact that she had to uber there was a disruption and the flow of how she envisioned it going.

Because that's also a mom thing too, like if it's not going exactly how they envisioned it going.

Apparently she envisioned it me just showing up and saying hi and leaving and getting back in my own car and letting her drive off, fucking off amnesia or whatever the fuck.

I don't fucking know what she envisioned.

Not amnesia, amnesia, all theses fetitious.

Yeah, you know, like much like we said on last week's episode, you know, mothers us our mothers.

We're just girls.

We're just the girls, you know.

And sometimes you don't get the girl that you would necessarily like hang out with.

Yeah you in fact, sometimes you get the girl you wouldn't hang out.

So then you have to really figure it out.

I'm really trying to, like, Okay, let's figure this out, to figure out this communications.

So you're in this lifelong relationship with someone, so there's gonna be a lot of phases in which, like you guys are not on the same page in your personalities.

And then like later on and lift, I just like see how like my relationship with my mom has evolved over the years, and how like we had so much turmoil at one point in my life, and then like how motherhood birthed us into another version of our relationship and our personalities and her life, her life changing as she's aging, you know what I mean, And like now we're in a different season of our relationship where like I do appreciate my mom more than I did before.

I also see like the girl in her, you know.

So it's like it's just never ending.

The longest relationship ever.

It's a fucking longest relationship ever.

It's longer than the one you'll have with your kid.

Maybe maybe around the same time actually, but like because she's no, maybe it's longer than you'll have with your kid, right, yeah, she's right, because I don't know, I'm just thinking, like how long how I don't know, it turns on when you have your kid, if you're a teen mom or something, but it's it's the longest relationship and it's your first relationship, and so it's like, I don't know, I think the we the hope is that you're like always in in this symbiotic relationship with your mother.

But that's just not the fucking truth.

And that's just not the that's not the reality of relationships in general, whether that's with your partner that you're in love with, whether that's your child, whether that's your mother, it's just not you.

Know, relationships might just very well just like be the obstacle that like relationships are the obstacle that will eventually catapult you constantly to the next level because you're never gonna be triggered unless you are in relation with other humans, because you can't really be triggered by yourself.

I mean you can, but you're gonna likely oh so much you can, yeah, so, And like even if you're a loner, if you isolate, you're gonna be triggered by the bitch at the restaurant or the motherfucker at the gas station, because God's gonna be like, oh, bitch, you think you got it away from this.

No, all close relationships, especially I'm realizing now, like in a relationship where I live with my partner, I'm like, oh, this is the like this is the outside of my parents and like roommates that I've had.

This is the only motherfucker that I have to live this closely with.

And it's like it's it brings up a lot of shit because we haven't I haven't been lived in the house with someone in so long since childhood, and now I'm here as an adult and I'm like, you're getting out of my nerves and I there's nowhere to go.

I have to deal with it.

So I realized that, like, yeah, relationships are literally like God's hoops that you have to jump through in life so that you can get to the next dimension hopefully.

Maybe Yeah, they're mirrors for sure.

I like I've been thinking about like how long I've lived alone by myself, which has been over seven years.

And you know, me and shakem have you know, talked about moving in together on and off like throughout our relationship.

Early on, very.

Early, like I had this like extreme want for him to move We're on mushrooms and I was like, you need to move in.

I know, I I know, I know you're not talking.

I know it.

And he was like, you know, of course.

He's a reasonable smart person in relationship.

But but lately I've been like just thinking about like what that dynamic it like would feel like for me to not be able to like escape and and like but like knowing that at some point like that's the goal, that's the goal, you know, but like also feeling my like fear and like sometimes it's not present at all, and I'm like, yeah, let's do it, fuck it, and other times I'm like, oh my god, like what And so I was I was thinking about you, and I was just thinking about like all of us, all of our friends that have been in relationships where like they're living with their partners or like people are in seasons of separation and divorces, and like I'm feeling what that feels like too, like the emptiness of what that feels and like like the scariness of what that feels like.

And then you graduate into like the empowerment in that place and just just how that is such an important decision, both sides of it, and like how living with someone is like I don't know, it's like an initiation, right.

Yeah, it's an initiation.

And also like there's a mourning.

Like Orlando just recently went back to like the workforce, like the real workforce, and I've been like, you know, home alone more and like I'm like, oh yeah, like this is what it feels like to be alone and like, oh, like, oh, like getting back into that groove and there's a morning of that.

Like there was a time where when Luna would leave, I'd just be alone, you know what I mean.

And then there was a time where and prior to that, I was with her dad and that was fucking miserable, and you know, like just and then it was just me and Luna, and like there's always going to be like a mourning of what used to be, because even if it right now, Like I know a lot of times people feel alone and they're like, I really want a partner to like to support, and that's great too, but then there's times when you're in it and you're like, I just want to be around my own motherfucking energy, and so there's fear around it.

But yeah, like luckily for me, Orlando just kind of squeezed his way into my house, into my state, my city, and my house without like I approved, but not really, but that's kind of what I needed because I probably wasn't gonna be like, yes, it's like move in together.

He just left a bag and then said I'm next time I come, I'm bringing the rest of my stuff, and I said, okay.

But I don't think that we really sit in these decisions that we make, especially as women, because women are just like hand fed this tale that you're supposed to get married and have babies and move in together and everything's going to be happy and beautiful, and like, I think men are actually more like aware because they are not given that same like protocol and called like normalcy.

They can be players and have a bachelor pad forever.

Whereas women, it's like even when we're all we're like, I want a partner and I want a husband, you know, like, and I feel that it's been a process and I love it.

I love I love being in partnership, and I love like Orlando, and we have a really fun household because we have fun together and we joke and we play and you know, but sometimes it gets real.

It's like you already have a responsibility of caring for your child, and then another human comes in and then like even right now, like I as he's gone back to the work force, I feel like an immense amount of pressure to perform for what like dinner cleaning?

Why you have you're you're in the workforce too.

I don't know.

The patriarchy, it's who's patriarching you though You're like you're you're you're feeling like you're falling back into like having this Is it because you want to do it or maybe it's something that you actually like and want.

To do because you did have big dreams of being a housewife at one point in your life, so that that feeling obviously exists within you.

Yeah, I think I just want to win you want to win what I don't know the best, like I could be the best wife, yeah, yeah, yeah, but then I want that's where that feeling came from.

Back now, I don't yeah, I think so.

And like even now, no one said any of these things to me.

In fact, Orlando was like fucking with me, joking the other day about like you don't know how to be a wife, and I got super offended and I was like that was very rude.

And then I stayed up late and prepare lunch for the next day for five am.

And then you know, there's just like these like I don't know, my mind switches like, oh well, he's bringing home bacon now, so I gotta cook it and I gotta clean and I got to like and even as a child, I think it also stems from like I would sit around all day until I knew my parents were coming home, and then in the last like twenty minutes of their return, I would just clean up the whole house because that was what I was.

I was responsible for like a lot of responsibilities as a young woman.

And like I see that come up in me now, like if someone leaves and comes back, I think I'm so to clean the whole house.

But I just I feel like I don't know, I can kind of see where men get it from.

Like before, when I was feeling like more of the how do you say, the head of household that I had more leverage.

To kind of like to be like I don't want to clean it.

Yeah whatever, I'm like, I don't want to need to cook.

And now I'm like.

Well, now you're called to be an equals in ways.

She doesn't like that.

I was like, god, do I kind of like being the boss of everything and everybody?

I do a little bit, but shut up, Orlando.

Now I have to, yeah, find a balance in like all the things like not trying to overdo so much but also trying for somebody else.

Well, I mean, this is what relationships are about.

It's about like he's this new dynamic is asking for you to expand in some way because you can't run from it because this person lives with you now and you guys are engaged in building a life together and b like, this is how he's shown up for you, like over these last you know what, however, long then you know this dynamic, this other id dynamic existed and he did he has I've seen it, and now that you know, there's like this new element coming in where he's you know, in the workforce, Like, yeah, there's like a balance and that's what you don't like.

Okay, I got it.

You should see you most and that's she's like, and shut the fuck up.

And I also feel like the patriarchy coming out of his purse ever since you got a job.

I just think it just like something switches in men.

And then he's like, he got my shoes, bitch.

He didn't say that, but in my mind, that's what he's saying.

And then I'm like, I gotta go to the gym.

I gotta get my butt right.

And then I'm like, I gotta cook dinner too, and I gotta clean it up and I gotta forget the child.

What the fuck?

And then I'm like, oh my god, is this like single motherhead again?

It is?

Damn Yeah, it's kind of intense, but as you can see, I'm working through it with ease.

What were you like as a like what we like in other dynamics when you lived with men where you wasn't because you were younger, so it was different.

Do you guys like, did you guys have like that my baby daddy because I'm thinking about myself, and I was like, did I like step into like that housewife mode ever even in my last long ass relationship, And I'm.

Gonna say no, My my my baby daddy didn't really step into like the provider role at all.

So I didn't really feel the pressure.

I didn't feel supported that much.

Like in some ways, yes, but I really viewed him and and I realize this now because God, bless his heart.

You know, we knew each other for so long, and like as high school sweethearts, I feel like I got like maybe the worst of him.

I ate because we were young, but b because I knew him so well, Like I was thinking that, like is he ever going to find someone?

Like is he gonna move on and like have someone?

And I was like maybe, because that person will never know him as much as I know him.

And will I mean never, I don't know, but like or knew him or like or knew him, like he was so comfortable with me that he would literally show his ass like there was no you know, like when you get to know someone, you're like presenting the best parts of yourself.

And I kind of feel bad like he he felt like he could wile out in the most extreme ways because we were so close.

We were literally there was times I felt like we were like siblings close, like I knew him.

I've known him for like twenty five years at this point, So there is that.

But I didn't feel like he showed up in that way.

So there wasn't like a huge need for me to show up that way.

And I still did.

But I feel like in this relationship, like you said, Orlando has supported me and us and our Luna and like a major, major ways.

That's very clear and obvious.

And so now they're like the pressure's on.

It's like, oh bitch, now it's your turn.

Can you do it?

And I'm like, ooh, well, what what parts of it do you actually enjoy?

Like maybe just you don't have to be good at everything, Like maybe like what part of being in sort of any sort of service or balance in that dynamic to Orlando, do you enjoy Like do you like cooking?

Second dick, Okay, there's that.

I do, like you were doing that anyway though.

Yeah, I like cooking.

I do like cooking.

I don't like cleaning that much.

And I feel like I'm like, obviously, because if you live in a house with anyone else, you're always cleaning.

But soon I'm making a cleaner.

I was gonna say, yeah, so you just need to get a house keeper.

You're gonna call the housekeeper in.

But maybe and then maybe you can cook, and then you would enjoy that because you do like cooking.

I do.

Yeah, yeah, bitch, So.

I think that I think you're putting on I'm not think like enjoying this a little bit more than you.

Maybe maybe just don't put so much pressure on yourself to fucking have to do everything that a wife does, Like what is a wife?

What is a wife's responsibility in your patriarchal programming and.

My patriochal programming, is that like everything like like everything else to support the family, which is like cooking, which is cleaning, which is I realize that, like I'm not good at planning ahead.

So if one thing, if I like, do one thing lazy, then everything else is messed up.

If I like, if I you know, like if I don't clean the house and it's hard for me to cook, and then it's like everything's a disaster.

Then it's late and then I didn't wake up early enough to make the lunch, and then everything's fucked up.

Snowball it's just snowballing.

Ef, It's all bad.

It's late here, fucking don't do anything.

Order pizza.

I mean kind of sometimes.

I mean, just like we were.

Talking about again in last week's episode, around like surrendering to the mess of like motherhood too, and like sometimes you're not gonna like fucking hit all the mom marks, Like sometimes you gotta like do the shortcut wife mark too.

Keep in mind, I'm only on day fifteen.

Okay, guess it's a new muscle you're flexing.

Yeah, you know it's a little flat that, Yeah.

You know.

I never like when I think about wife wifing, cleaning is not in the I mean I clean anyway, but like it being a part of my duty as your wife is not party.

You have a cleaner, you don't even think about it, Like you just come home and it's cleaning and thinking about your mind is clear.

My house gets dirty in one day, maybe every house, even though you have a cleaner like your My house is dirty within twenty four hours.

Again.

But I like, I will say, like the cooking aspect, because there's parts of like I never cooked really for Freddy at all, and like cleaned except that fried chicken, except for that fight chicken.

And there was a reason.

But maybe that's why I didn't work out.

I like tod know, wife duties, like none of them.

Was he expecting that from me?

No, I don't think so.

And the crazy part is my mom was not that type of wife at all.

I don't know where I collected these ideas from, Like my dad was.

I'm marrying someone who in some ways really does a mirror my dad, Like my dad was the primary cook in my household.

My dad really was like like my mama took us to like appointments and make sure we got our fucking teeth to the dentist and she like that.

But my dad really was like hands on.

So I don't know where I'd adopted these Well, that's probably Latina house Latina culture of my housewife, because I literally I think it's because I didn't see it in my household.

I was to say, because you didn't see it's probably why you have resistance for it.

And also I kind of like like admired that, like I wanted to be pretty but like big cakes and stuff like that.

But yeah, but I honestly I aspired to be a rich housewife, kind of like that lady that I we know on the line that I sent you the other day that I said, it's kind of getting on my nerves, probably because I'm kind of jealous.

I'm not jealous.

She's like, look at what my cook made me, look at my chef, And I'm like, that's how I could be a housewife if I have a chef, a maid, and the chauffeur.

I mean that sounds like my kind of housewife.

And honestly, like I don't.

I think I haven't.

I haven't somewhat patriarchal.

I don't even gonna call it that, just traditional traditional trad wife things that come up in my relationships, Like I do enjoy cooking, But do I want to cook every night?

No?

Like and cooking is like a new thing that I enjoy in my relationship.

Do I enjoy cleaning?

I like to have a clean house.

I will clean if I'm annoyed and I'm like, fuck it, we just need to clean the shit up.

But like, do I have that part of my duties?

No, that's like a shared responsibility, Like.

Do I washing clothes?

I fucking hate washing clothes.

I fucking hate folding clothes, putting them away.

I will put them in the machine, but the.

Last those last two steps, you can.

Count me out.

Like I don't need that.

So I think that like for me to be really true, really happy and as a wife in the relationship dynamic like a there needs to be a fifty to fifty element.

The way I got it.

Fucked up though, was the fifty to fifty like paying element, because I did that in relationships where like I went fifty to fifty with my baby daddy on a lot of shit, and I should have never done.

I should have never did that, Like I don't know why the fuck I did that.

This bitch is stupid.

Yeah, he's like, okay, all right, you might pay half the right.

I mean, I think it's like I think it's like my own like hyperindependence trauma around like money and people thinking like feeling like I owe anybody anything.

Also like just liking my it's not even hyper deefents.

I just like feeling like independent and I've done I'm doing something for me, you know.

But sometimes at my own detriment, like where I'm like fucking at my lost last dollar.

Don't don't know how I'm gonna like it, and I'm not gonna say anything like that's stupid as hell, But the fifty fifty dynamic doesn't doesn't I need that dynamic aside from that in my household.

But for the most part, like, yeah, I want I want service in the home.

I think that that's going to help.

I think that if I think that will help my relationship.

And I know, I know that's like yes, that's like okay, bitch, well, but yeah, like in my ideal world, if we're talking ideally and the life that I'm calling in that I'm working really hard for, that is what's going to happen.

It's what's going to need to happen.

Because I want to go to lunch with my friends.

Yeah, I don't want to stay home.

I want to go to my gym and then come home and like dinner's already prepared and I just like put in the oven.

I think that, you know what I realized in this like as I'm preparing to uh literally walk down the aisle and like expand my family and like I'm getting older even though I've been an adult for a very long time, I realized that like the vowels or like the role of a wife isn't something I've had to really deeply like sit with and understand and like vow like vow to because it's been a concept for so long that yes, I want to be married, But I think that these niggas have so generally on a mass level, comes so below the bar that I haven't really it's only been a concept.

It's never been something I've actually had to put into play because most of the men that I've dated have not shown up in a way that I've had to like really be like, Wow, I feel so supportive, such a great man.

What do I need to do next?

So now that I'm in that space, I'm like, oh, ship, your turn.

I got to read a book or something.

What pages this on?

Fuss?

I want to chat because they know everything.

Chat.

I think Chatchibut is a she, a he, or a they.

It's anyone you want, you can you can assign it.

You can assign its gender.

Yeah, did your talk to you?

I don't.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't do that.

I don't even know how to do that.

How do I make him talk to me?

But I don't know, I don't, I don't like I robot in my foot in house?

How do you become a wife?

How do you know?

Not become?

How do you be away?

How do you be?

How?

What are wife duties?

Be a wife?

Tragbt Thanks a big and meaningful question, and a good one to ask.

If you're thinking about marriage, are newly wet or just trying to grow in your role?

That's me you start with.

You know yourself, your values, goals, boundaries, and identity matter just as much in marriage as it does before.

So kind of like when you're become a parent.

Don't lose your identity.

Stay grounded, Okay, don't lose your sense of self in your role.

Tell us myself say it again, tullless myself, don't us myself, tell us myself.

A healthy marriage includes two whole people, not one person disappearing into another.

Yeah that fifty to fifty or one one, not fifty to fifty's together one plus plus two three because third, h I got it.

Listen, look at me, nye, keep looking at me.

You got it?

Got it?

One three plus one equals two plus one is three.

Don't forget that, Okay, communicate honestly speak your needs clearly and listen to your partners' needs.

Listen, listen, practice empathy.

I care, but what you're saying you don't always have to agree.

But it helps to meet in the middle.

I genuinely care.

You have to be in the middle all the time.

I don't care.

That's where the fun.

The fun is where you don't meet in the middle.

Don't bottle things up.

Resentment grows in silence.

That's true.

That's the hardest one.

Though.

Build and rebuild intimacy.

This includes emotional closeness, physical affection, vulnerability, and fun.

Stay curious about your partner.

Don't assume you know everything about them just because you're married.

This is this is very ethical.

Okay, chatchy, she's been reading the internet.

Live live.

The commitment marriage is as a choice you make daily, not just a status.

It's not just a concept, bitch.

It's a real thing.

Okay, not just the ring and the dress.

Got it?

Keep growing?

Know what a light?

Know what a wife isn't?

What is a wife isn't?

A wife is not a servant.

Oh see write that down, Orlando.

She is not a doormat or an emotional dumping ground or a robot.

Ai, you are.

Not responsible for managing everything.

You can't manage everything, all the all the things, all of this.

You can't even manage all of his emotions.

I can't even manage my own his responsibilities or his mistakes, you can't manage them.

He has to deal with that shit himself.

Sometimes I get a therapist if something feels deeply wrong.

Trust your instincts and seek help.

Therapist.

I'm calling eve this.

A final thought that chatchybt Haspepe.

Being a wife is ultimately about being a partner.

It's about mutual respect, care, growth and teamwork, not outdated stereotypes or losing yourself.

I'll do it, stereott it okay.

If you want to talk about this in terms of your culture, religion, or personal situation, I can tailor the advice to fit that too.

Put for blacks, would you like a version of this in checklist or journal prompt form?

And that's where we're done, chatty Chi, that's where the sense to your journal.

Orlando has been at work for six zero point seven hours and I don't know what to do.

Should I start with the dishes or the laundry?

Today I did clean the kitchen, and I did the dishes and I put it on stories.

So I saw it looks great.

I'm trying to be accountable online.

If if I do it online, then I'll do it.

It's true, it's kind of fucked up.

It's the why I take my vitamins every morning.

It's the line.

It's the only way the Internet's working for.

Me, the only way if I don't take my vitamins on Instagram stories, did I take that?

I do it?

Am I even a wife?

Did you see my ring?

Did you see me get proposed to?

Like now I'm cleaning death?

Yeah?

No, wife?

The wife role is crazy.

I was telling Mila before we started recording that I've been taking care of my boyfriend because he was sick over the last two weeks and just thinking about like through the vows of marriage, through sickness and health and how like I was like, can I do this?

Am I?

Like one day he's going to get old, Like like like my dog Shaka that I was annoyed the fuck with when she got old.

That was a dog, babe, I know, but I loved her at one point.

Agent I'm just saying, like I had to really ask myself, can I care for someone's health long term, like if you are if you sign up to a healthy person right and you don't even consider the fact that they might potentially fall ill, get sick.

And I'm thinking of like all the people whose partners like have cancer, like all these different things that you just you didn't sign up for.

Well, you did sign up for when you said, I guess when you've said that vow, but you didn't know you signed up for until you were there, and you're like, oh, I gotta wipe this nigga's ass.

I did not what my man's ass for the record, but I'm.

Saying, would you look, yeah, I would.

I'm glad we're not there yet.

But like, I would do a lot of things for the people that I love.

I know that about myself.

And that's what this situation also showed me is that iye, I would do a lot for the people that I love.

But it does require and pull something out of you that sometimes you have to go looking for.

You have to go search for it.

It's not just there by nature, like you know, as women, we're always talking about like we're nurturers by nature, and it's like nurture is by nature to who.

But everyone liked our kids because it came out of our body and like that reaction.

Nurture to our partners, but like to what ex stent to how far?

Like I think that there's everyone has their their limits and their spectrums in that and it's not just like one hundred percent all the time.

And that was surprising for me because I was like, of course I would just step into this role.

Of course, it's easy, of course.

And then I was like ooh, okay, and you know, I'm like it was just it was just interesting because I was really thinking about like, yeah, like the vows that you take when you marry someone and you say those things through sickness and health, and how often those things happen and it destroys relationships because you weren't really prepared for what that looked like and or or you're in it right now and you're like rising to the occasion and actually like damn, I didn't even know I had this in me.

Fuck the preparation.

Yeah, the preparation.

And a lot of us, I mean most of us are there's like no just like there's no mommy handbook outside of a good mom's gude to making bad choices.

But there's no guide necessarily to how to be, you know, a supportive nurturing wife, and there are I'm.

Sure the Trachy has a guy.

I've chattypt has everything, but like to embody it and to like just show up that way is not like and I unpopular opinion, like all women are not nurturing and most of us are not.

Because if you didn't see your mom be nurturing, then how the fuck are you supposed to like actualize something that you've never witnessed or experienced.

Even that time, if you look in our our archives that time that I was dating a gentleman named adventure Bae, I mean went to Palm Springs and this motherfucker out passed out, fainted, and my first instinct was, oh, hell n hell to the no.

I don't even know you'd like that.

I was like, I was pretending to be nurturing, but in my head, I was like counting your day, days are numbered, niggas.

I was like, he's too old, he faints in the heat.

I was like very, I was showing up real nurturing.

I was petting him, I was looking into his eyes, but inside I was panicking, like this nigga has got to go, and that was the first time I was like, oh no, I don't like you enough for this.

There is a level of love that you get to that then you, I think, can can catapult you to a nurturing space where you're like, oh, I love you a lot because I can show up this way.

But in that moment especially, I guess at that time it was five years ago.

Fuck wow, uh, Luna was like five, and I was like, I already have a human outside of me that I have to care for and nurture and that's like not a liability.

That can be a mother's excuse for a whole lifetime.

Though I don't know is at any point you are like I don't You're always I'll always feel that way about my daughter, you know what I mean, Like even if she goes off into the world and obviously the relationship changes.

But I'm like, I.

Can't handle if anything happens to you five or fifteen shit like, but that's the thing, like you, I couldn't.

I couldn't handle it if anything severe happened to my child, I would like show up it all all the way.

But like you have, and that's someone who has come out of my body, Like physically, I saw you come out of my kuchi.

So this other nigga that came out of somebody who else is kuchi?

I don't know.

I don't know if it's like.

Not my kuchie, not my problem problem.

You came out of it.

But you know what I'm saying, come out of it.

You know you might go in there sometimes, you know, So it is like you really have to really examine.

And I will admit, like I'm in a space where I'm opened that I don't necessarily come with these tools and tricks and I have to like kind of be in a place where I am empathetic and supportive and showing up for my family in a way that like I haven't really Like I feel like it's just getting real right now, Like shit's getting real.

Like I got the ring, got bitch, he got a job.

Now what you're gonna do?

You gotta really show up.

But I'm not gonna put so much pressure on myself.

But I do feel like even in like the Kenya ste Caven's Kenya k Stevens class that we took on, like the marital pre marital stuff was helpful, but I'm like I need to read books or like at least make a make a make pillars for myself so that I can like actively be working on showing up in this role better.

Just like if I was going to show up at Good Moms and we did a retreat, now I got to show up in that way.

And we do merch, so now I got to show up in that way.

Like just like any other job or partnership, or like in school, if I want to learn something, I'm gonna go to class and figure it out.

Like I recognize that that's the only way you get better if you like ask other wives or you read a book or the Divine just downloads wife things to.

You or you and just do it and like get on, get be okay with the discomfort of it.

I think, like even thinking about like you're taking that marital course with Kenya, and just all the and just the tools in general that like we've acquired over the course of our careers in life, Like sometimes it's still hard to put those things in practice when you're in an argument, when you're like when you're when you're default at coming up and you're like, I don't give a fuck, get the fuck out of my face.

I don't want to do animal anime whatever the fuck.

But you're like, but you know, it requires one person to at least be able to bring you back to that space, because both of you are not always gonna meet there and be ready to do the work together at the same time.

And like it does require like the someone to be in it.

Well the other person isn't.

You can't learn the tools, but like actually utilizing them in a high fucking emotional place is a whole different thing.

I can know to meditate, I know the fucking water element, bitch.

But am I gonna get angry and go I'll be back.

I'm gonna go meditate and then we'll come back and talk about this.

Yeah, probably the fuck not yeah, because the Philly in me is too clear and too like rembunct Like you have to constantly be sharpening that tool.

And like even in our relationship, even as a mom, I'm like, I can know what to do put your fucking phone down, bitch, and sometimes you just don't do it.

And it's like and you can like attack yourself and be disappointed and be yourself, but also gently starting over and doing it again and giving yourself the opportunity to do it again and again to like to eventually be better.

You're going to fail before you actually actualize it.

But maybe this, like, especially in a world where everybody's in open relationships, and I feel like marriage is like not a priority as much.

We're not even like coming up in a socially in a place where like long term partnership is prioritized or talked about positively, So we really have to like try.

Yeah, no, it's true, because, like I mean, I've I guess, I guess I've had an example of long term partnership with my mom and that I guess I have, but it.

Still feels foreign to me.

It still feels foreign to me, I think, because the dynamic that my mom and my stepfather have is like beautiful, and but it's not like necessarily like what I'm aspiring for, do you know what I mean?

And I don't mean that in an offensive way.

I just mean, like, I know, like what my soul's path and love is supposed to look like is not the What.

Does it look like outside of the main and the driver and the cook like mine, Like outside.

Of that passion passion, it looks like passion.

It looks like deep, deep communication.

It looks like spontaneity.

It looks like collaboration, it looks like working together, it looks like space, it looks like.

Individualism.

It looks like like I invited.

I am inviting in the discomfort.

Like even yesterday me and him sat and like yab yum, and like I was not.

I didn't give a I didn't really want to.

And that's what I was thinking about, Like knowing you have these tools and you do them and it didn't go how I want.

It didn't go how we hope it goes.

But we did it, do you know what I mean?

And like it's just like but I'm okay.

I woke up this morning.

I'm like, I'm okay with that because I'm still in the work with it.

I'm still doing the work.

It's just like sometimes the work there's no progress when you show up, Like sometimes you sit on a call.

Sometimes we'll sit on a call and be like did we get anything done?

I don't know, But what we showed up literally yesterday, but we showed up.

What do you think?

I don't know, I don't fucking know, But like what we showed up?

Do you know what I mean?

So it eventually eventually the answers will be answered.

But I think that that's like also like what I'm realizing relationships are like too.

It's like sometimes there's no progress, you know, but you're showing up, so.

There is, there's always a process.

It's like the consistency of showing up even when like no decision has been made, no choices have been resolved, like things haven't been resolved, but you're there, you know.

So I want to be in relationship with my partner, and I am in relationship with my partner where we're both committed to showing up at least at the very least, we're going to show.

It, like we agreed to be here, So let's do our best, let's put our best fit forward, Let's grow in the process and agree that it might not always look like this, it might not always be easy, but we're here to see out the process whatever that is.

Yeah, yeah, and I agree.

Like the passion, I think that that's always been really big for me, Like romanticism and passion, and like I even as a like a rebel with thought, a rebel hoe without a cause, I was very clear that like I wanted a relationship that was like juicy and fun and like intimate and like there's chemistry, and like I think a lot of times we look at movies and like people try to say, like I mean, and obviously I've only been in a relationship five years or four or five years, but I think that there's space for it to be passionate and to be all those things and to like still be attracted to your partner, Like is it gonna be on ten forever?

Maybe not, but I do think, like the move the movie theater version we see of love, like that high arows, like I think that that is is obtainable, and I think they tell you like, oh, sex is gonna die, Like they give you all these things that to expect, and I just like I refuse to accept that, and I and I and like, thankfully in my relationship, I'm continuously every day proving that wrong, because there's attraction, there's love, there's there's sex, you know what I mean, There's spontaneity, and I feel like people underestimate like the passion peace in relationships and and like long term marriages.

Even the other day, I was doing like ask a sexologist on my stories, and somebody asked, like, I feel like I can't be as sexually open as I used to be, And I was like, that's because a lot of times, like the resentment gets so high, so there's like you feel like the other person's constantly judging you, whereas before you're like, oh, anything you want to do, baby, you know, and then when things happen and things happen and things happen, then you're building up judgments and ideas about the other person that don't allow you to like just let them.

Yeah, but I like that is one of the things that's high, high, high on my list, Like I want you to be smacking my ass and us to be making out and like doing fun shit and like having that desire for one another forever or else we're roommates.

I think that, yes, And I think that there's probably people listening that have like maybe, like you said, like experience that in their relationship early on or maybe for a long time, and then there's a break in the in the dynamic and it's like maybe it's just changed, like maybe it's over.

Maybe we can't get it back.

And that's where like the showing up part is, that's where the work shows up, because their relationships do go through seasons like I pray that you and Orlando never go through a season like that.

But if you do, knowing that like there, you can always get back to that place, you know, like, but there is a requirement for you to at least show up.

And both be willing.

I don't even say open, because sometimes one person might not really be open in that moment, but you're but you're still there, you know, to be able to pull the other, roll the other one out yeaeah.

And that's what I hear a lot about, like in marriages too, It's like not everyone's always all the way in the whole time.

It's it's like the beauty the longest relationships are like we just were on this.

We were our our our entity, our whatever we created was on the different level at each at each moment, and.

You weren't when I was at fun.

Yeah yeah, yeah.

And it's like and and that's and that's how you know you're supposed to be with that person, you know, Like, this is not you saying be miserable in your relationship.

Hell, don't be miserable, but also do something about it.

Yeah, that's why I told the gentleman who was in my damns.

I was like, well, then do it.

Then like, it's not it's it's not rocket science.

Don't over don't overthink it, just do it.

And I was like, go to the tribe.

You know, it's my favorite thing in the world.

Go to the drive in movie and finger Banger in the trunk.

Just take ecstasy and you know, you know what Jamila's cure for everything is you need Molly therapy.

I didn't say for everything at first.

I said the drive in bait, which is very PG and then I said sometimes I will never forget or like our you're one of our podcasts.

She's like, I'm going, oh, I'm going to New York to go do Molly therapy with Young Bey because this is how we're going to heal our relationship.

And I was like, is that right?

Did I do it?

I don't think it worked.

Thank god it didn't work.

Oh my good God.

I think you did do it.

But God, thank God for getting out of relationships when it's time to get out of them.

Because Young Bay was not it.

Neither was it Venture Bay or any of the other bays that were on the list of bays.

But I mean it's and you know what, and like shut out to us for trying and for you know, allowing ourselves to grow and to figure out exactly what it was that we needed, because without all the taste tests, you don't really know what kind of cake you want.

That's true.

Gotta taste the flavors, taste the flavors to be like, no, we don't need the peanut and this cake now, No, no, don't that frosting doesn't go in that cake.

No, that muslim frosting is not gonna work.

No sprinkles please.

Yeah.

Wow, what a blessing to one day have the like have the ability to like go push play on eight years of our lives, bitch, eight years of our dating life.

Because I'm pretty sure we're talking way too honestly about whatever the fuck we were doing.

But yeah, I'm really grateful for that, to like hear the growth in real time.

Not that I've ever I have gone back really except for that one time we did, like the first year or two.

But yeah, and thank you guys for fucking listening.

Sorry in advance, if you were really frustrated with us for a while, or you know, or you were like riding like gabbitch, I feel you.

Yeah, it's been a it's continued to be a beautiful ride.

And one day I will go back and listen to all of our episodes, hopefully before my child ever does.

And if you're new here, and maybe you're in your you know, late twenties, early twenties, early thirties, and you know some of this other shit we're talking, doesn't it resonate with you.

Just go to the beginning.

Just go back, just go to.

The We weren't always you know, engaged in things of emotionally mature.

We weren't.

We weren't and like.

Very immature, very think we were mature.

I mean, I'm just kidding.

I mean there was some emotional immaturity for sure, for sure, but at least we were self aware.

We were self aware, you know, we were like, we're being stupid and it's so fun, woo wow, good old days.

But yeah, if you are just joining us, so you started in the middle, I really do highly recommend that you go back to the beginning.

There are a lot of gems there.

We went through a lot of shit.

We and you know, we didn't just show up here at good good media looking this good way to go through some hoops jump through some fire, date some frogs before we got here.

Okay, my tits were smaller in the beginning, for only like six months.

You got those tits very early.

Look at my old tits.

You're gonna really have to look.

Is it terrort time?

It's terot time.

Before we do terror, let's just let's just take a moment, just reset the energy.

Do a few deep breaths.

Wherever you're at.

You're driving, please don't crash your car.

Keep your eyes open, keep your eyes open, just you know, try to take a few breaths.

In through your nose, out your mouth, Relax your.

Jaw, am exhale was sound, Do a little moan because life is sweet and everything is good.

Ah mm hmm.

Okay, now it's territyed.

Just a little reset.

Do you want to pull my dear?

Sure?

Okay, she pulled the tower and I'm not gonna lie.

It looks kind of chaotic.

There's people jumping out of a tower that's on fire and maybe bleeding water at the automn It's okay, I think, so, okay, it's okay.

The Tower card usually signifies sudden change, upheaval, chaos, revelation, awakening when the Tower card appears in a tear reading.

Expect the unexpected, massive change, upheaval, destruction, and chaos.

It may be divorced death or a love of a loved one, financial failure, health problems, natural disaster, job loss, or an event that shakes you to your court, affecting your spirituality, mentalit, mentally, and physically.

There's no escaping it.

Change is here to tear things up, create chaos, and destroy everything in its path.

I know I shouldn't picked this card.

You did.

Yeah, I was like, I shouldn't pick that one, and I picked anyway?

Do you want to pick another one?

Yep?

Okay, okays for somebody else's driving.

After Tower experience, you will grow stronger, wiser, and more resilient as you developed a new perspective on life you did not even know existed.

These moments are necessary for your spiritual growth and enlightenment, and truth and honesty will bring about a positive change, even if the experience, even if you experience pain and anxiety throughout the process.

Thankfully, the Tower doesn't always associate with pain and turmoil.

If you are a highly aware and in tune with your inner guidance system, then this tarot card can indicate a spiritual wakening or revelation.

You may be able to see the cracks forming and take action before the whole structure comes tumbling down.

You may create a massive transformation before you reach the point where change is your only option.

Okay, with this other card you pulled, my dear, This one looks a little eight of swords, which also is Look, this is the one where she's able to or like she feels like she's in a bind, but she's actually not.

She just has to turn around.

What is this nine sorts?

Yeah, she's blindfolded, she has her hands behind her back, and yeah, I know this one.

Actually negative thoughts, self imposed restriction, victim mentality.

The aid of swords reveals that you are trapped and restricted by your circumstances.

You believe your options are limited with no clear path out.

You might be in an unfulfilling job, an abusive relationship, a significant amount of debt, or a situation way out of alignment with your inner being.

You are now trapped between a rock and a hard place with no resolution available.

However, take note that the woman in the card is not entirely imprisoned by the eight swords around her.

And if she wanted to escape, she could.

She merely needs to remove the blindfold and free herself from the self imposed bindings that hold her back.

The aid of swords is often associated with a victim mentality.

You surrendered your power to an external entity, allowing yourself to become trapped and limited in some way.

At times, the eight of Swords indicates that you are confused about whether you should stay or go, particularly if you are in a challenging situation.

It is not as clear cut as you would like it, making the decision very difficult.

You have one foot in hoping things can work out, but your other foot is out the door, ready to leave again.

This card is asking you to get out of your head and drop down into your gut and your intuition so you can hear your inner guidance.

Your thoughts are not serving you right now.

Your intuition is trust yourself.

Hmmm, interesting pair that we pulled here.

Hope that resonates with the collective.

Do you have affirmation for us today?

M You are naughty by nature.

You're naughty by nature.

You are naughty by nature.

You are naughty by nature.

You may not be a nurture by nature.

But you will, you are, you are not by nature.

We're inviting you to step into your naughtiness.

It's today, it's Friday, as we're recording, whatever day it is.

When you listen to this Wednesday, hump Day, Tuesday, titty day, whatever day, step into your naughtiness.

Be naughty by nature, bad me meaning like.

Sexually not just don't be just naughty.

Don't be a bitch, nasty bitch like Tanash.

I've been a nasty girl.

God that I took over the internet first, I think I've been a nasty girl.

Somebody gonna match my you know what, she wouldn't be coming up with.

She got a lot of hits.

She's like low key that person that one day we're gonna go to one of her shows, and I'd be like, God, it's like jay Loo.

When I went to see fucking j Loo.

I was not even like a big j Loo fan, but I went and saw her in Vegas by chance you and I was like this writch has so many goddamn hits.

That came on yeshay in the car right after I left parent teacher night and I gave you all my tress.

Would you come for me and call me banks.

Oh, but some of those notes that she hits song, But that's why I love them, because I can hit everyone, and I give you that one.

Got this comedy is.

She hits some really what is that line?

It's like really bad.

She really tries to.

Go for it.

She shouldn't have.

Yeah, you know what I'm talking.

But that's like towards the end of the song.

No, there's a there's a whole Oh my god, she.

Has a breakdown or breaks it down and dance moves.

Oh there's that's also.

It's a not the one that Christina million.

Yeah, like Christina got paid in that DJ playing my son, because turn it up and turn it on, play play.

She didn't write if you had My love Christina.

Yeah, probably I don't any of that ship.

That's true.

She probably got.

Anyway, I was having deep nostalgia, so I was leaving sad from the parent teacher night because Luna is going to be eleven soon, she's going to be her last year in elementary school.

And then that same song came on and I'm pretty sure it came out when I was in sixth grade, and I was just like got her to speak to me via j Low Oh my god, me like a right back to elementary school.

Wow?

Anyway, God, some mom shites going fast.

Be present, be present, and be naughty by nature.

Be naughty by nature.

Thank you for joining us.

If you haven't joined our newsletter at good Momsbad Choices dot com, follow our personal pages and our Instagram Good Mom's Bad Choices, Good Mom's Underscareboard, Underscore Bad Choices.

Yes, yes, that's it.

The Good Vibe re treat to be about to release our twenty twenty six retreats and we are going places.

Okay, we going places, places and spaces and you can follow me at Mila underscore map with two p's.

Are you going to change that?

Soon?

Is going to feel like underscore?

Roy?

What are you gonna do that?

I'm gonna hyphenate.

Mila Underscore Map Roy.

I don't know if I'm changing my Instagram bitch, Oh, you can keep it the same.

I did never I think so I didn't think about my Instagram.

I think about my the.

Things you haven't thought about.

Wife, got to think about these things my on my Amazon packages, all these cons here?

Are you like?

What are we doing with Instagram?

Well?

I already had a deep conversation with my husband that I'm a famous author, so I can't really do too much with that.

I can't change my full name.

It's my it's my stage name, it's my author name, Jamila mapp But I could.

I didn't put it.

You could put Jamiala mapproy.

I offered him the roy.

I don't know if I will take that on as an author in my like future endeavor books.

But the good thing he's only written one book, so there's still there's still it's a best seller.

So it's really it's it's it's basically it could be basically ten.

So the point of the matter is I'm already semi famous with Mela map so I could just having a hard time.

That's the wife thing, aren't you.

I don't think this.

I don't think this is This is the part I'm having a hard time with.

This is where I'm really clear actually following Amazon, Mela Mapparo.

I've been putting roy on my last name on my packages for a long time on Instagram.

I don't know that seems a little ser Okay, okay, okay, already have barely have a couple.

Anyway, follow her for now at Nila Underscore map.

You can also followed follow Huccie mom.

And dad, Hoochie mom and Daed.

You can follow me at Watch Erica and yeah, be well, take care of yourself and we love you.

Yeah, I'm living so good?

Can't you tell?

I went through a drought.

That's until I found out.

Well, madem have been known art.

I used to be broken tail, now got the blues.

Dancer might Beyonce Jisell throat shot with pop and his cow wearing our voices.

Patriarchy kept it in the box to exploit its women put the p and powers.

So what's pointing that they want me to be good?

So I made bad choices.

Bad mom not a bad mom, but a bad mom.

Gitter's in on, put cannabis.

In her bath.

Bomb walked in bosses cap and I blew his cat boss dog.

Now I'm immune to the cat called Herbie in the waisted straight to it like a dollar.

Sign, mother, rent the lover when too what?

It's like a water sign where you're rent the winter essential will when the summertime?

I do what doll ain't no one that needs to run it by