Welcome to die Hard.

We're back at it, baby, I'm back from Reno, You're back from Torrance.

Hello, please with me.

Let's go, ladies and gentlemen.

Diehard is back.

Listen.

I know that this podcast is in its infancy.

We're in the open mic phase.

Do what you gotta do, scrap, grind it out, grow baby of podcasts.

But uh, it's so much fun.

It's so much fun yapping to you.

We're not long long after I'm dead, and I'm in wherever we go after we die.

People are gonna go, wow, that guy talked a lot.

That Jeff died.

What a yammering existence that guy had.

Often I look at the stars when I'm on mushrooms and I can feel the stars looking down going why won't that one.

Just shut the fuck up.

He's talking so much, he's got so many thoughts and ideas.

He's just won't shut the fuck up.

And that's what I bring to the world talking.

You know, sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong.

I try to make it always funny and fun or deep or enlightened, sometimes racial.

Sometimes you know, that's.

This is my act.

You ready for my act?

My act I've got I've got a lot of gears, racism, sexism, prejudice.

You know, it's very fun.

Sometimes the training gets stuck, you know, and you gotta you gotta shift out.

We got Ari Azizi and the Persian Cowboy in the saddle.

Thanks for being here again two weeks in a row.

Thank you.

I like having you on.

I like having a camera on you becoming a staple.

People love you in my act and like or in my shows.

People always go, hey, where's Ari?

I was at Wednesday when we were in Torrance?

Oh no, what it couldn't have been.

It could have been Wednesday, which was San Diego.

Nu, it was in Reno.

A girl came and she goes, I was so disappointed that Ari's not.

Here now, huh.

Can't bring them everywhere?

Yah, but it'd have been nice to have you in Reno.

She's a nice lady.

I forget of her name.

But how was Reno?

Reno's fun?

Super fun?

Yeah, yeah, I will say.

I don't want the laugh factor to hear this and get mad.

I don't want Harry to hear this and get mad.

I don't want any of the industry to hold it against me.

And hopefully they know that.

Just casinos suck.

You know.

It's like the comedy is great, and the people are great, and the business is great, but it's so depressing to just be in a giant building with no windows and no clocks and you're just wandering around and then you go, I'm gonna get out of the casino.

Well, it's December and Reno, where's seven hundred homeless people and it's gray out and like not only usually December, and Reno's nice because there's snow and like people going snowboarding.

People are coming in and are doing all this stuff for like winter things, but they don't even have that.

There's not even snow this year.

It's kind of a warm winter, but it's still winter.

So it's gray and cold, but it's no snow, and just a bunch of bums because they're like, this is a warm December.

You know, God didn't kill us with the snow, and so they're lingering around.

You go, let's go back into the causine.

Right.

I had what might be my a new rock Bottom.

You thought, me crashing my car and wrestling around with some cops and then being dragged by my by Kristin Cavalari on the Internet was my rock bottom.

It wasn't the new rock bottom happened in Reno.

There's a lot of people who came to hang out with me this week in Rena, which I'm very grateful.

I'm very blessed, and I I it's it's God answering all of my eternal prayers for friendship.

You know.

So Donzola flew in an Nicky and Andrew from Atlanta were hanging out all weekend.

My buddy Blake and and his his younger brother and their friend Austin who works with them.

Who's Blake's youngest brother's friend.

Uh, they were all there.

Jeff Pierce, a comedian from from the Reno area, was hanging out.

It was a big group of us.

We had a big group.

And then I got Bowers with me because he's open for me.

So that's a big Now we've accumulated people from the show.

You know, some people that were like, just watch the show.

Hey, these guys are all hanging out.

Let's all hang out.

And then Blake had a first date fly or drive into town.

So that's a big group of us.

Now Andrew's hungry, so Andrew goes, I want to eat.

Now I remember When you talk about strip clubs, it's a spectrum.

You know, there's there's good ones and bad ones.

Oh you went to that one, And I remember that Reno had the best strip club with a phenomenal kitchen and menu.

Like the food is so good, and while.

You're stuff in your face, the girls don't try to get you to give him like good lap dances or anything like that, because they're you know, you're eating.

It's like fantasy a girl Island.

I walk by it like every day.

Oh dude, it's incredible.

Yeah, and it's one of the best strip clubs.

So while we're walking to the strip club in this big group, we're all outside, we're all under the impression we're walking to a strip club.

I realized that I left my wallet in my other pants in my room.

But we're at the casino where my room is, so I was like, I'll just pop up and get that.

I bring Blake with me.

Me and Blake open to my room.

It took three to four minutes at the most because I just had to go in the elevator Grandma.

When we came back outside, we didn't see them, but we figured it's cold.

They're probably ahead of us, we'll catch up.

So we finally get to the strip club and we get in and I was like, oh, my friends are here, and they go okay, So we look for our friends.

They're not there yet.

It's like, how did we beat them?

That's strange.

So I'm like, all right, I need like, you know, seven chairs.

I got seven friends coming, and then me and Blake's eight nine, you know.

So I'm holding seven chairs, I've got Blake with them.

I'm here and I was like, oh, I got friends coming.

It's a Saturday night.

I'm holding chairs and two tables at a strip joint.

And they're like, well, if your friends don't come soon, you know, we're gonna have to figure something out.

And it's like, no, they're coming, they're coming, They're coming.

So then I order food for everybody.

I got like three appetizers and then like a pasta for myself, so the table would be kind of also try to show the strip club I'm spending money, you know, like, don't.

Don't unless yeah.

In the text, there was some sort of miscommunication and so Blake's first date is Man, I'm like, why would you leave me with all your friends and try to go to a strip club when it's like our first date.

So she's kind of in you know, in girl world.

She's right, like that's not a good look.

But he also like he was like me, thinking we're just gonna come back down, Like it wasn't a huge We left you alone for three minutes and it abandoned you.

So anyways, nightmare, you know, complete nightmare.

Blake goes, I gotta go fix this, and I was like, dude, you're not going to leave me at a strip club alone, and.

He's like, I've got it, dude.

She's pissed off.

She says she's going to drive back, and like I live in Tahoe, which is an hour from where we are now, and she lives in the Bay Area, which is hours I can't.

Like, I gotta go fix this.

I go, dude, do not leave me.

And then the group is texting me, Hey, we all took a vote.

We're just gonna stay here at the casino.

And I'm like, I'm at a strip club saving chairs, like this is my nightmare.

I've got three appetizers, I'm eating pasta alone at the front tables of a strip club and all the strippers are looking at me like who's this fucking loser?

And I'm like, I've got friends coming, promise.

I mean, it was I knew hilarious that walk back.

Dude, I thought I was gonna kill somebody.

Like I was just like just just walking in the cold back to my friends, like I'm gonna kill all of them.

I know.

I just stayed there until I finished my meal.

I actually walk by that one every day because it's like attached to like a mini hotel kind of right, I don't know.

I was like, do people stay at this like mini hotel slash strip creek?

Right, Yeah, that's where the girls live.

And all the billboards would flash be like come and talk to like Ashley today.

It was I will say, like, I'm not like a huge strip club guy, but that one's the best because if you don't want to spend a bunch of money and have like some girl on you, like not everyone's going to strip clubs for the same reasons.

Sometimes it's funny.

Sometimes it's just like, you know, it's nice to look at naked girls, but like you don't necessarily need to go to them back and get the sex work.

You don't need to have them give you a lap dance.

In fact, one, one girl at the strip club just argued with me a bunch and I was like, man, you haven't lived.

Tell a girl's giving you a lap dance and belittling you for your conservative values.

She's like, let me guess.

You're some bro that just punches down in your comedy, Like she was just going crazy well dancing like this is so hilarious, like a stripper who's woke.

Like a woke stripper is so funny to me.

She's belittling me, like I bet, I bet you you wouldn't get it.

You're a white guy.

I'm like, what the fuck is happening?

The worst I didn't even want the lap dance.

Blake bought it for me, and I was like, this is embarrassing.

Yeah, so it's great, But one of the greatest things that ever happened to me happened to me in Reno this weekend.

So I am a huge, huge Jerry Seinfeld fan.

I've said it multiple times.

If you ever hung out with me, you know, if you've ever been at my house, I have a giant mural in my guest room of Jerry Seinfeld and quotes from him that weren't from the stage they're from like interviews or books or podcasts, because his I really like his philosophy on stand up comedy.

He has all these like gems that I think about all the time.

One of them that I think about is he said one time he was writing and he was about to like wrap up his.

Writing or whatever.

I can't remember if I made that up or not, but he was like sitting there.

He's like ine in a little rut in his writing, and he saw these construction guys come in and they ordered hot coffee and then they were like all right, and they went back outside.

You could see their breath and they got their construction hats.

And he's like, those guys don't want to go back to work.

It's cold and it's hard, and construction is not very glamorous.

But they went out there and they got back to fucking work, because that's what you do.

You get your ass to work.

And he goes and that's how we need to think about writing jokes or going to open mics or going to spots, and you know, you might not want to, but you get your ass to work.

And I think about that almost every single day.

Another one I like is that Jerry said, comics are always asking him for some sort of secrets or shortcuts.

You know, guys like Jeff Dye were like last comic standing.

I can leap frog other comedians by just being on this stupid reality show.

Some people do agt you know, some people do kill tone.

They think, oh, I've only done comedy five times, but I should get on kill Tony and that'll transcend me to the top or whatever.

Everyone's looking for a shortcut, no matter whether it's comedy or any other profession.

And Jerry's like, people are always asking me, Comics are always asking me for advice, all this different shit.

He goes, you know what I wish.

I wish I could take every comic into a big room, say all right, I have all the comics are here, Okay, good, here's the secret to success.

And he pulls a thing and a big banner comes down.

It says, just work, and it's such good advice, like just fucking right, just try things, just get up.

It's so like it's so simple, just work, just try at it, like you're not gonna become famous in a year.

I've been doing this a fucking long time, and I'm just now seeing some Well that's not true.

I've had success, but I'm like, I'm just now like really like reaching kind of like this, I'm turning a corner, if you will.

That's why I think.

It's so funny when people say something like, oh, it must be nice.

You know, they see like a check that I get for a gig, or they they you know, I say, oh, I sold out the shows.

You know, they go, it must be nice, must be nice.

It's like, fuck, you are you talking about hard work?

Yeah?

Yeah, you know many weddings I've missed.

You know how many things I've skipped to go do shows.

I slept in a car because I was pursuing my comedy career.

I have no wife, no kids, no girlfriend.

That was because I put comedy first.

I've compromised so many things for this job.

I've made many mistakes.

I've said many things I shouldn't have.

I've I've had to learn from those.

I've had to fall back down the ladder and then climb my way out.

It's like, it's not this must be nice.

Like everything you see, with the exception of like the hawk to you girl, and maybe people who came to you know mine for gold and found some gold on their first expedition or something.

Everyone else has earned it, they've worked.

There's no overnight successes.

Justin Bieber wasn't just immediately famous.

You had to be like a kid playing guitar out on the street.

The Beatles had to perform twelve hour days for a year, seven nights a week, in like some crappy venue, because that year they accumulated so many hours just in that year that that's more than most musicians will do in fifty years.

It's all about the work, and that's why I love Jerry Seinfeld so much.

So.

Anyways, Jerry Seinfeld came up on Joe Rogan.

I didn't know or when I did Joe Rogan, and I don't know if Joe liked him or not.

I really didn't know Joe's opinion about Jerry.

We'd never talked about him before.

And Joe said some nice things, and I said some nice things.

But I was trying to explain on Rogan.

What I appreciated about Jerry is is that even though he's the clean guy, people roll their eyes.

Oh, Jerry Sin.

He was always joking about Raisins.

Neil Brennan's like, he's always joking about a jacket or something, and so like he kind of sup by some people, gets dismissed as like old and out of touch or clean and corny or what are those things?

And I was trying to make the point of like no, no, no, no, That's what makes Jerry a genius is that he can joke about raisins or he can joke about a jacket, but it's still has like an edge to it.

There is an irritability about Jerry that is very, very fascinating.

You know.

If you don't think that he's like edgy, look at his opinions about like Israel Palestine, Like he's capable, he can go there.

You know.

When he gets accused of not having enough diversity on Seinfelder, comedians and cars, he's willing to punch back like fuck you.

Yeah.

You know.

Like one of his best friends is Chris Rock, a black guy.

Is that not good enough?

Like what are we talking about?

Yeah, Mario Joyner, Like he's got black friends, which is not supposed to be a good argument for whatever, but like I think that's the best argument.

Anyways, all of this.

To be said, I was just having a nice, fun public conversation with Joe on the podcast and you know it's nice.

So when my web guy posted the clip, I was walking in Reno with all the big group.

I opened my DMS and I was I literally like all that wind got knocked out of my body.

I was like huh, Like I couldn't believe it.

I was walking with the group like somewhere in the casino and I like was like oh, and they were like what And I can't believe this has happened?

And I had to sit down.

I actually had to like sit now.

I got a DM from Jerry Seinfeld and I couldn't believe it.

But when I guesped, I hadn't read it yet.

I just saw that Jerry Seinfeld had DM.

I should have panicked, like I wonder if he was gonna say something mean, you know, I have like my my Eddie Murphy Bill Cosby moment, you know, like where he's gonna lecture me about something I said or whatever.

But then I read the message.

Here's what he wrote.

He wrote, Hey, I heard the nice things you said on Rogan.

Thanks been watching you lately.

Really like your stuff.

You've got a really good way you're doing it.

Hope it keeps going well for you, and I'll see you around sometime.

Jerry s, that's amazing, that's so cool.

I've got to ask myself, what more could I want?

You know, I could pay my bills, i can eat, I've got great friends.

The respect of the top of the mountain.

In my opinion, I consider him the top of the mountain has now reached out and acknowledged my comedy is the greatest feeling in the world.

I was like literally all day and I replied, like, you made my month, but you made my life, Like like it made my life.

I just didn't want to sound like a little boch and.

Being like, oh, you've made all my dreams come true.

But the truth is like, that's what more could I want?

That's that's it's so cool.

Cool.

Hopefully, you know.

Maybe maybe I could be on a podcast with them, or maybe we could share a stage, or maybe go to.

A Mets game.

That's kind of all things.

That you would be would be better.

But I but if that never happens, I'm very happy with this.

This this feels good.

I'm content.

I'm nice.

A little Jerry Seinfeld story that people might not know is the first time I ever did the Tonight Show.

My team goes, we have a surprise for you also, and I was like really, and I was like yeah, but they're They're like, we won't show you.

Excuse me, you won't know till the day.

It's all right, we'll figure it out, you know.

So the surprise was that Jerry Seinfeld was also on the Tonight Show that night, but he was pre recording his his thing to air the next day or something like that, so it wasn't publicized that he'd be at the same time as me, so I couldn't have guessed my surprise.

But they had him come into my green room and shake my hand.

Wow, right before I went on for the Tonight Show.

Wow.

Yeah.

So I'm thinking about my set, I'm going through my jokes and then I get a knock on my green room door and my girlfriend at the time, Kim like opens the door and we were like, Jerry Seinfeld's here, Like what the hell?

And then he shakes my hand and he goes, don't screw it up, like it was very fine, that's perfect.

And so the last hand I touched before I did my first Tonight Show was Jerry Seinfeld.

So I had that moment.

But it didn't feel like he would recall it, you know, to him, it was just him.

They asked him to go knock on my door and.

He said yes.

That's so that was a very forgettable moment for Jerry.

But if he wrote me a message like this is something like he reached out to me.

He wrote the thing, so this this is now to two cool Jerry things that have happened in my life.

Very excited about it.

I like the Jerry sh Yeah, that was interesting.

I wonder if that's because he's sending you do you think like you don't even need to put a signature on a d M.

Right, It's like when you're when someone puts a signature in their email, you're.

Like, I know, it's like a letter.

Yeah, yeah, very funny, but it says see around sometimes.

So hey that So we also have a lot of the same interests.

Coffee, we love words and jokes.

We love coffee, We love the old dogs of our business.

We like talking about like the history of things, especially comedy.

And then we love baseball.

Yeah yeah, so it's all we have all the same, like kind of core interests.

If Jerry Seinfeld was into pro wrestling, I think that would be like we would be the most kindred spirits ever.

We know he likes hot chicks, you know, hell yeah, come on, that's every guy.

Yeah, so I was very excited about that.

How was your week?

I got a text from I'm just kidding amazing.

I got a text from Gabby Lamb.

That's not I mean, it's good.

We love Gabby Lamb here, but that's not a Jerry Seinfelt.

San Diego is fun.

Yeah, so good was perfect.

Yeah, it was easy Wednesday, so much fun.

We got to hang out afterwards with our boy Josh.

Let's talk about Aubrey Huff.

Yes, so Aubrey Huff came to my came to my show, which shout out to Aubrey Huff.

I know he played for the Tampa Bay Rays.

I know he played for the Houston Astros.

I know he played for the San Francisco Giants.

Aubrey Huff, his Internet persona is considered very controversial, evidently, But I think he's just controversial in the way that like any conservative Republican would be considered a controversial you know, like if you ever meet like Ben Shapiro and you asked to take a picture with him, he actually warns whoever's taking the picture with him, like, hey, just you know if you're gonna post this on the internet, like it's gonna you know.

And I think, which is crazy that you didn't have to give that warning, But that's modern times.

So same thing with Aubrey Huff just because of things he's said online, He's considered like this controversial guy and if there is something he said that I'm not aware of that like should be criticized.

I don't really I'm not that familiar with what he's gotten into on the internet, but he has said something so controversial to some evidently that they didn't let him be at the celebration.

They had to honor the World Series.

With the World Series he was a part of.

You're kidding had the Giants said that he couldn't be a part of it?

Which is insane?

Actually google it ago Aubrey Huff uninvited to see what comes up?

Giants to exclude Aubrey Huff in twenty ten World Series reunion they cited his unacceptable tweets.

I know, so evidently his tweets were so controversial that they uninvited him.

Earlier this month, we reached out to Aubrey Huff to let him know that he will not be included in the upcoming sorry, upcoming twenty ten World Series Championship reunion.

Aubrey has made multiple comments on social media that are unacceptable and run counter to the values of our organization.

That being said, the Giants are because maybe they're in San Francisco, they constantly overstep politically in my opinion, like as far as they are the most political baseball team, you know, like they they are the ones who have to be like, we're the pride team.

We're the like they had like nuns, like drag queen nuns like Dodgers Giants.

Also they had them before it the Dodgers like uninvited them and that's what got the Dodgs.

Yeah, but the Giants are famous for being the most liberally progressive baseball team.

So any you know, this is the team to cancel you.

If any he's gonna cancel it, there would be the ones.

In November, Huff posted a tweet containing a picture of him holding a shooting target with holes, and the caption on the post said in part that he was getting my boys trained up on how to use a gun in the unlikely event Bernie Sanders beats Donald Trump in twenty twenty.

That's a I don't know what that alludes to.

What do you think he's suggesting there?

I don't know.

Whenever you're holding up a bullet target.

Yeah, good, but yeah, that's not a great one.

Trying to be funny, you know.

Yeah.

Also, what does he mean like they're gonna take his guns away?

Or is he saying that he wants to shoot people that wouldn't vote for Donald Trump?

I don't really know what he's alluding to.

Everything quoted in an article is never funny to the picture.

Yeah, and Aubrey's a silly guy.

Yeah, probably probably wouldn't have tweeted that.

That's probably like a tweet you don't want to do all that.

To be said, I have.

No opinion on this matter, but I do love Aubrey Huff and I love a good baseball player.

And he was a super nice guy and a cool dude.

And I support anybody being as Republican or as Democratic as they'd like to be, or as Republican or Democrat as I'd like them to be.

But he was a super cool guy.

One of the things I know about Aubrey Huff the most is when he Kyle Mooney was interviewing all the baseball players doing his gag where he pretends to be a bad baseball interviewer.

Aubrey Huff's like, what are you high right now?

I'm sorry?

This is the worst interview I've ever done.

Like it was a very very funny Aubrey Huff Kyle Mooney moment.

Here you go.

Over there live the giants of the Dodgers game talking baseball, when and everybody is around and we're swinging for two long bombs away?

How how do you come around to know?

Man?

This is what it's for?

Are you high right now?

That question?

So good?

So good.

There's another moment too, He's like, I'm sorry, I got I can't do this like I gotta, I gotta go so perfect.

Oh yeah, he tries.

He's trying his best.

Make it for the make it for the fences.

Wy, It's the worst interview I've ever had.

I'm not sorry, I'm sorry, man, I can't do this.

Kyle Mooney is the best.

I love I love this character too, very very funny.

Stuff makes me so happy.

Aubrey's cool guy.

Aubrey brought me a glove.

Says huff daddy on it.

That's so cool instead of puff daddy.

I asked him when he when he the next day, I messaged my said, did you use this?

It looks like it's not used.

You know, it doesn't look I mean, it looks like it's it doesn't look new, right, But does this look like a major league baseball player like he used in a game?

And he's like yeah.

And I was like, but it's shaped strange, you know.

Like that like looks like it's you know, whatever, And he was like no, and then he described that he use it, So this was used.

This is a game used, uh glove.

Just I wouldn't have never guessed that, you know.

I was immediate the second I got I started like doing what you would do, like shape the glove and the way that I thought.

Gloves are shaped.

But pretty cool stuff.

Very happy about that.

I'm starting a new rule.

I did it with Robin Vatura, and I said, because it was so successful with Rob, and now I'm doing with every baseball player.

You want tickets and you want to hang out, I'm happy to take care of everything you play that you pay the baseball tax.

Just bring me something from your career.

That's a fair trade.

Yeah, in an old jersey war once or you know, a bat, or you know, like in this case, a glove.

He also gave me in a jersey, which I thought for sure would be a Giants jersey.

But he hates the Giants so much because they rejected him.

He doesn't hate the Giants.

I put words in his mouth.

He's feelings are hurt that the Giants have rejected him in the way that they have.

So he brought me a Houston Astros.

Jersey autographed, which is pretty good.

Cool.

He brought in a trash bag.

I love this guy.

He's the best dude.

It came like a black tribe because of course, dude.

And then when I tried to open, He's like, what are you opening like that for?

Don't be a bit just rip it open.

And I was like, well, I want to keep it in here for them.

That's great, that's very good.

Let's talk about cheerleaders.

Yeah, we were talking about Aubrey Huff.

Let's talk about these cheerleaders.

When I go to the Lakers games and the Laker girls come out and they do their routine and they dance, how am I to encourage them.

In twenty twenty five, what do I do if I stand up start going yeah, yes, Everyone's like, sit down, you pig.

You don't root for those girls like that.

It's like, what do you mean they're doing a performance, they're doing a dance.

We're supposed to sit there and just like kind of pretend like we're watching.

That feels creepy, Like what is what is cheerleading and dancing generally girls?

You know, most of the time it's chicks, and they're wearing sexualized clothes, right, They're wearing like tight, form fitting clothes.

I'm trying to be as pecy as possible here, and dancing is like this like kind of like sexual thing.

They're wiggling around out there and they're all doing it in unison, so they all have their boobs and butts moving around, and you know, it is something that is sexual.

It is something that is attractive, right, it is something that's a bunch of drunk sports fans are supposed to be like, eh, but like either A get rid of it because it's modern times and we don't want to objectify these girls, or b let's just call it what it is.

These are hot chicks.

Wearing hardly anything, dancing around for a bunch.

Of drunk mutants.

It's perfect, That's what it is.

Part of the game, I understand, rightly.

Part you understand, well, I'd just say in my mind, I'm going I want to support the Laker girls, but anytime I do it, everybody gets So what I do now?

Is I just I do it.

Obnoxiously like yes, yes, yes, and then everyone looks up at me and I'm like, what support the Laker girls?

That's right?

Yeah, there's like this.

Uh unspoken kind of thing like is cheerleading?

Is it pro women?

Yeah?

Why not?

I would say, I don't know.

Guys can't do it, so yeah, what is my mind?

I'm like, if if people want to be progressive and woke, then you have to cancel dancers and cheerleading.

That's why that woke stripper thing is rattling me so much.

Yeah, because like she like she's going to lecture someone about ethics.

How did that happen?

She recognized you and it came over to you.

No, no, no, what happened was Blake bought me a lap dance because he knew I didn't want one, and so then when she came over.

You know, she's basically she didn't barely even gave me a lap dance.

She was just kind of like sitting on my lap.

Just what I need when I have a tummy full of it was.

This is the next night I made the group come back.

Good for you.

Yeah, and we actually had food and we sat there the way we were supposed to do.

The night before.

Perfect.

Yeah, because the night before, just me the head I I laped, I didn't get anything.

And the first night I go, I gotta get the fuck out of here.

I had some food, I saved some chairs that no.

One showed up for, like do you guys have boxes for?

It was terrible.

And then so then the next night on the Sunday, then we then we were there and we you know, and it's also slow Sunday, so it was a big group of us.

It was very fun.

All the girls came, all the all the all the everyone in that group I described was there.

So it was really fun to everyone's talking and goofing around and uh.

But so then the stripper is just kind of sitting on my lap and she's like, oh, so you guys are comedians.

And then that's how that went down.

And she goes she named her favorite comedian Josh Johnson.

Josh Johnson.

She's like, how are you a real comedian?

You've never heard of Josh Johnson.

He's a political guy.

He started his like he's young, he's very political.

He hosted the Daily Show like when whoever needed to be replaced or not replaced, but like they needed to fill in, like he replaced him once.

I've never seen this person in my entire.

Life, I know.

And she was surprised that I had never heard of him.

I'm like, he's just like a really well spoken, very talented.

No shade to this guy, by the way, shout out to the stripper for knowing like a very but.

It shows why she knows him.

She's in this like bubble right, Josh Johnson is a very like politically charged young man, charming, handsome.

I'm I'm giving him all of his flowers, but you can't watch him and then go he's not political.

That's what she thinks.

She thinks this isn't even a political guy because in her reality, if you talk about you know, Joe Biden or Kamala Harris, or socialism or Marxism or progressive things, being gay or being trans.

Those aren't political things.

Right, It's just normal.

That's just life, right.

For in her mind that like that's just like that is that is uh you know, that's that's everyday That's just life.

Man, Oh my god, he's just talking about life.

It's not political to trans.

The issues aren't political.

Gay issues aren't political.

Joe Biden, Kamala Harris talking about Marxism.

So that's not Oh my gosh, that's not political.

That's everyday life.

Oh my god, you think that's political.

Oh, just because he did the Daily Show once.

I love that you're getting into it with a stripper.

It's insane to me.

This is the beauty of your agitation.

Well I'm treating her like an equal, right, Yeah, I don't think she's a bad person for being a stripper.

Everybody, I think.

It's great whatever you're having a debate.

In my mind, it's it's it's the gal is wild and it's not because she's a stripper.

It's because of like that's such a silly way to view the earth and.

Like horrible stripper pull betside behavior.

Yeah, very crazy, very weird.

Uh, But like I just think it's very interesting that like if if you do gut Field, which is a comedy show on Fox News, you get labeled as political or whatever.

But if you do any of those other things, you're not political.

Like, is it breaks my it breaks my brain.

It's just what it is.

It's just what it is.

How was the Christmas party last night?

Tell me everything?

You didn't miss anything?

Well, what what is it?

It was nice just to see everybody because you don't get to see all the comics at once.

You know, everybody's always busy or doing something.

I saw in the video Bobby Lee.

Bobby Lee was there.

I saw Darren Carter and Carter Starter.

I saw Viny fast.

Line on stage for some reason.

Yes, what was he trying to wrangle everyone to come see?

Was there gonna be a band or something?

Yeah?

There was like a musician guy he opened for or I want to say, Jelly Roll or somebody like some big artists.

But he was good.

He's good, Yeah, nice, good little musician.

And I guess most of the party was hanging out upstairs.

Everywhere outside there was a taco truck.

There was like people on the main you know, showroom floor dancing, and then upstairs.

Yeah, in the video it didn't appear as if there was anyone.

No.

I took that like just as a joke because Darren was being funny by standing that.

Close to Viney fast Line.

And then I just showed the part where it was like empty.

Well then it must have been empty to be able to make the video though.

Just that one.

Poor people were right behind me, and then they went out to the dance floor.

But I just thought it was.

It was Yeah, it was very funny.

He looked very autistic.

No, you looked great.

It was just just clowning vine Fast.

What was Vinnie in charge of the Laugh Factory Christmas party?

I guess how does that happen?

I don't know.

They say we need you to organize some things.

Get up there.

He's that plugged in at the Laugh Factory.

Jamie masaud is letting him do.

Ten minutes part.

Well, he say you open weird and he was like, I never get to perform here, so this is my one.

I was like, why would you say it's also not true?

He thought that'd be hilarious.

I don't know.

He's a good guy.

He's a great guy.

I love him.

He's gonna even Reno soon.

Very nice.

How about this.

We all did Reno in the past, Oh.

Every comic.

Yeah, yeah, we're in Reno.

I'm looking at the sign.

This is the sign of the upcoming acts for the Reno Laugh Factory.

I see that one.

Well, I didn't send it to you.

I'm telling you about it now.

Sorry, you don't gotta know what I'm talking about yet.

I'm talking about you in real time.

Ari Ron Pearson is gonna be there, Michael Lenocci, Derek Richards, Maddie Chimber, Kathleen Dunbart, Yvonne or Ivan Or, Evan Pekel, and John Capo, Nara.

I Passel, ye Ivan Piscil.

Okay, So those are all the acts that are coming, and then they have photos of the acts whatever.

That's what it is.

None of these are like huge, gonna guarantees sell out every show.

Ax.

That's just that's I'm not throwing shade.

I'm not being mean.

That's just that's that's just the state of affairs that these performers.

It's not like you're gonna have trouble getting tickets, Like how'd you get tickets to the fucking Michael Linocci show?

Like, you know, that's just a fact and that's okay, it's it's not a big deal.

There's plenty of tickets available for my shows.

You know.

I'm not throwing shade, But one of the names caught my eyes as the opener for the for one of these acts, right underneath Michael Lenocci, it says, with Mark Hayes our friend, Yes, and Charlotte McKinney.

I don't know, Google's Charlotte McKenny.

She's probably one of the most gorgeous women that's ever lived.

All so, she has millions of followers, she has two million followers just on Instagram.

She's one of the hottest chicks in the world.

She's more famous than me.

She's she's like a.

Celebrity point two million.

Wow.

And why isn't the laugh Factory exploiting her celebrity if she's on those shows for the whole weekend, Charlotte McKinney's gonna be at the Reno Laugh Factory, like at the at the casino that.

Entire time, Like, why why don't they?

Why is there not a picture of her?

You have never mind?

Orry, I just shocked.

It's shocking to me that they're not exploiting this, and then going yeah, man, we have a celebrity who's going to be playing these shows.

No, I understand clearly what you're talking about.

Yeah, it's ah, her face should be the entire poster.

Yeah, millions.

To me that they're like that, they don't understand marketing well enough to go.

We've got a celebrity plan.

People will buy tickets just to see her in real life and be creeps.

Who cares if she's the host of the show.

Put her face over Michael Lenochi's Hell, you could put her face over Michael Lnocci's body, make a weird like trans looking you know, Charlotte heead Michael andonci body.

People would still come.

That's how pretty she is.

Yeah, what are we doing?

Oh, Lenochi's gonna be here.

Wow, how do we get tickets for that?

I don't know.

Maybe put Charlotte mckenny's picture up.

That's how you get tickets to Michael Linocci.

Yeah, I'd be pushing hard.

Yes, it's insane to me, Harry is very out of touch if he doesn't know well enough to put her on the poster, or maybe he just doesn't know who she is, but he wants to ask me seven hundred questions about my ex every time I play his rooms.

So he's very aware of some women, but not Charlotte McKinney.

Evidently unless she added like her contract or something, she might have had it in her contract, like don't use my face or likeness to promote these shows because I'm only the Sometimes that happens.

It's a very interesting line.

Well, you know that I love to talk about wrestling.

You know that I love wrestling.

Everyone knows I love wrestling.

A John Cena has officially retired.

He had his last match this Saturday against the up and coming star Gunther.

Now Gunther, he's had a.

Great career already, but like he is younger and he's the part of the next class.

And so for John Seena to lose and have him win, and wrestling we call that putting someone over.

It's kind of the passing of the torch.

You're not supposed to win your last match, You're you're supposed to give it to someone whatever.

Well, a lot of mutant wrestling fans didn't understand that.

Evidently they're all booing and then like chanting, you fucked up, chanting, ae w chanting.

We want Vince, who was the old Booker before Triple h and like, do you not understand how wrestling works.

That's how last matches are.

You're not supposed to win.

You don't go out on top because then you'd have the belt.

But you're gonna carry the belt off with no more matches.

You gotta give it to you gotta that's the passing of the thing.

So anyways, what I'd like to let everyone know who watched John Cena's last match One John Cena, love you, respect, loyalty, hustle.

You're the guy I've always I've always loved you because you were like Luke Skywalker.

You were a good dude.

And no matter how many.

How people felt about you, you should they should be rooting for you because you're the good man, the good guy.

You've done more makeup wishes than anyone on planet Earth.

You're a good guy and we love you and I love you on Peacekeeper too.

Now, all of that being said, wrestling fans, you don't gotta worry about John Cena retiring, because wrestlers don't retire.

He'll be back in a month.

The guy will watch at the Royal Rumble.

His music is gonna hit on, will run out and everyone will pop, right, because wrestlers are incapable of retiring.

I remember I had a wrestling party at my house.

I had all my buddies there, and it was Undertaker's last match, right, that's what they said.

He left his boots in the ring.

We all got a little teary eyed.

We cheersed our beers and we said, Undertaker, You've given us thirty years of memories and we'll never forget you, buddy, we love you.

And we got duped.

It was like a month later he was in a match with aj Styles in some sort of like graveyard pre taped wrestling match on the pay per view.

These wrestlers don't retire.

John Cena's only retiring till the Saudist write him some seventy billion check to play at the riod, you.

Know, wrestling match.

He's not retiring.

He might not be in the ring taking bumps, he might not be part of a storyline.

But John Cena's not going anywhere.

We didn't need a bunch of montages and all this stuff.

People crying like he's dying.

He's This wasn't a funeral.

John Cena will be around still.

Maybe he'll be a manager, Maybe he'll be uh uh, maybe he'll be like in a start, he'll have a movie he needs to promote, and they'll say, oh, hey, can you go do a quick run on WW to promote your movie like The Rock did nine hundred times, like a lot of wrestlers have before him.

So don't worry.

John Sene is not going anywhere, and I'm here for it.

Love you, John, love everything you've ever done for wrestling.

I'm super happy.

I loved the finish.

I thought it was great.

Don't listen to these mutant fans who don't understand how wrestling works.

You put Gunther over and that's because you're a good man, and we commend you and we love you, and.

Uh yeah, I wish you all the best.

All right, bring up my dates.

Let's let's uh, let's wrap it up, Jeff dad dot com.

There it is.

Change the past picture, yeah, changed.

It east to have the cowboy one up.

It didn't make me look like a comedian, so I just picked this one.

Uh.

Upcoming dates.

I will be at the Upstairs Comedy Club on Christmas Eve.

Very excited for that.

It's gonna be good.

If you don't have a family, you don't got nowhere to go, Or you live locally and your family's gonna be, you know, nearby for Christmas Day, and you're in town for Christmas Eve, go to the Upstairs Comedy Club in downtown Los Angeles.

Then immediately after Christmas, the twenty sixth to the twenty eighth, I'm in Spokane Comedy Club.

Home of Sydney Sweeney.

Home of John Stockton, Spokane where I was born, spoke Compton, Spokanistan.

See me at Spokane Comedy Club.

Then I'm at Wise Guys Comedy Club for all of New Year's, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, and that's in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Then from there I go to another Wise Guy's Comedy Club, but all the way in Salt Lake City, Utah, for January second and third, January eighth to tenth Jane, that's hard to say.

January eighth through tenth.

Rick Bronson's comic strip in Edmonton, Alberta.

What's more depressing than being in a casino all weekend?

Being in a giant mall all weekend?

And that's what I am for Rick Bronson's comic strip.

But it'd be good.

I'm excited to go back up to Canada.

A lot of people have been asking me when I'm gonna play Edmonton.

Last time I played Edmonton the comic Strip I was.

You know, I wasn't even a political commit that's how long it's been.

So it's gonna be nice to go back to Edmonton with my new act and my new found hatred for government since they locked us down.

It was pre COVID that I played that place, so I wasn't all radicalized yet.

You know it might get arrested and I can't wait.

But if they didn't get me in Australia, they're definitely not gonna get me in Canada.

That's true.

The Stand in New York City January eleventh, That is one show only.

You're gonna have to get tickets to that quick, which means I'm doing gutfel to either January eleventh or January tenth, So check that out.

Comedy's Own January sixteenth to seventeenth in Greenville, South Carolina.

And then here's.

Just just quick if you're still listening, I'm playing Indianapolis, Indiana, Irvine, California, Albuquerque, New Mexico, Tampa, Florida, Sarasota, Florida, Florida, Springfield, Massachusetts, New Jersey, and Point Pleasant Beach, Gainesville, Florida, Boca Ratorn, Florida, Orlando, Florida, Rochester, New York, Saint Louis, Missouri, Washington, d C Raleigh, North Carolina, Huntsville, Alabama, Calgary, Alberta, Springfield, Missouri, Duboiq, Dubuque, Iowa, Batavia, Illinois, Hobart, Indiana, Kansas City, Missouri, New Bruce, New Brunswick, New Jersey, Phoenix, Arizona, Bakersfield, California, Bellflower, California, La Jolla, California, Dallas, Texas, Fort Worth, Texas, Austin, Texas, Bridgeport, Connecticut, and Levittown, New York.

That's a lot of dates, and we're adding more, motherfuckers.

That's only through September.

Baby, I've got a lot more money to make if I'm gonna buy these castles like Nicholas Cage, if I'm gonna be single guy that's gotta pay massage parlors to touch my pecker.

I need money.

I'll be starting to gofund me every goddamn month to keep up this lifestyle.

I want to be ten.

I need hair transplants.

I need hookers.

I need food money for these strip clubs.

I need to give money to Bowers.

He's broke too, all right, so give to the go fund mes?

How many times do I need to start one?

When will you give?

You gotta give?

Are he gives?

All right?

We love you guys.

Go to Jeff dot com.

For all of the dates that I just mentioned.

Thank you for being here.

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