Welcome to Last Subject Podcast.

Our mission at Vladimiry Subject Ministries is to reach the world globally and disciple them digitally.

Let's dive into this episode.

What to do if you are living with a toxic or narcissistic person.

Maybe you watch my video on the types of people God removes from your life.

What if you're married to one of those people?

What if the person God should have removed is still in your home?

Well, you're not alone.

Many people are living with toxic and narcissistic spouse, roommate, or a family member and they feel stuck.

They feel confused, even ashamed to talk about it.

But you don't have to suffer in silence.

This video is not about shaming you.

It's actually about equipping you today.

Actually, I want to.

Give you seven things you can do from a biblical, spirit led perspective when you are facing with someone toxic and narcissistic and they're living with you as like a family member.

Well, number one is you got to protect your own heart.

Sometimes we want to change their heart.

Whata is God wants you to protect yours, The Bible says in Proverbs four twenty three above or else guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.

Toxic people they twist your words.

Narcissistic people, They will distort your truth, and they will drain your soul.

If you don't protect your inner world, you will lose your peace.

You'll actually question your reality.

So how do you protect your heart?

Well, you got to set some emotional boundaries.

You also have to detach spiritually from those people.

Even if you cannot detach physically and don't allow they're chaos to become part of your character, you can make a decision to do that.

Focus on protecting your peace, protecting your heart.

Number two, don't become like them.

The scripture says in Romans chapter twelve, Verse twenty one, do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Living with toxicity and a narcissistic person can actually make you better, not better.

You'll be tempted to respond or react with sarcasm, manipulation, passive aggression.

Do not let their dysfunction disciple.

You don't let their dysfunction cause you to act in a particular way.

I always challenge people that no matter what situation and who you are with, you gotta be careful not to react to that person but to respond to God in that situation.

It will be easy to react, but that's exactly playing their game.

But when you pause, pull back and respond to God in that situation, you actually have an opportunity to grow in certification in the midst of a very turbulent, chaotic, horrible.

Crazy situation.

Stay rooted in the fruit of the Spirit, not in the fire of your frustration.

Narcissists will create frustration for you, but the Holy Spirit was to create the fruit in you.

Number three, Pray for discernment, not just deliverance.

Sometimes we are prone to ask God to change that person, as I mentioned earlier, which is important.

We need to pray for their deliverance.

But James one five, it says, if you lack wisdom, or if anyone lacks wisdom, let him ask of God.

It's easy to ask God change them.

But sometimes God wants to show you how to walk with wisdom right in the way middle of it.

So ask this question, is this person just wounded or actually manipulative?

So this person that you're with, the toxic person, narcissistic person, is there a wound that is happening, because it will help you to deal with them slightly different or are they actually intentionally manipulative?

Am I in danger the second question, or am I in this comfort?

You see, the wisdom helps you to differentiate is there danger in your life that this person is braining or they're just braining some frustration and exposing your own flaws and discomfort.

And then thirdly, the third question you want to ask is and this the wisdom of God, is this a season or is this a stronghold in this person's life?

So is this person going through a season or is this something who they are?

And it's a stronghold.

Holy Spirit will guide you moment by moment.

That's why you got to lean into the wisdom of God.

You got to lean into discernment instead of just you know, praying it out because you've prayed for that already.

If nothing happened, lean into the wisdom of God and let God and his Spirit guide you through number four.

And this is crucial.

You have to get godly counsel don't suffer alone.

In Proverbs eleven fourteen, it says where there is no guidance, people fall, But in the abundance of counselors there is safety.

Shame loves secrecy.

But you don't have to pretend everything is okay.

If you're being abused emotionally, physically, sexually, or spiritually.

You gotta get help.

Talk to your pastor see a godly, spirit filled Christian counselor reach out to a trusted friend.

It's not weak to ask for help.

It is wise to reach out.

Sometimes by you releasing what you're going through to somebody, not only you experience a relief, you actually can experience a perspective that comes from God.

And through those people, sometimes you receive strains, and sometimes they will actually speak into you the wisdom that you are blind to you're not able to receive.

You ask God for wisdom, but you lack.

Objectivity because either you're already biased toward this person, or you're too hurt, or you're honestly you're wearing your heart in your sleeve like they say, meaning you're kind of blind to the fact that you are being abused, and somebody can come into your life, who you trust, who loves you, who cares for you, who loves the Lord, who maybe has more objectivity, and actually see your blind spot.

You have no idea the importance that we need each other.

That's why the Bible says that God gave us pastors, he gave us leaders, He gave us each other.

The Scripture says, to bury each other's burdens, love each other, We need each other.

The body takes care of the body, and so many people they love to suffer alone and they're like, well, I just need the Holy Spirit to guide me.

And that say, you also need the Body of Jesus to help you.

Lean on those people.

Don't just escape to reaching out to a pastor or to a minister you watch on YouTube, by going to their DM and sharing your story like a lot of times, those people aren't going to be in the position to help you.

The reason why is because they don't fully understand your story.

They don't live with you where you are at.

Lean on people that actually know you, that you know them, you know their hard, you know their fruit, and you know their life.

Number five is you gotta stay anchored in your identity Colossius, Chapter three, verse three.

Your life is hidden with Christ in God.

Narcissistic people, toxic people thrive on control.

They will attack your identity to keep you insecure.

You'll hear things like you're nothing without me, nobody else would put up with.

You except me.

You're too sensitive.

They will really bring it back.

They won't attack an issue in your life.

They will attack an identity.

They won't attack something you did.

They will attack who you are.

You gotta reject those lives.

You are not who they say you are.

You are who God's as you are.

Stay in God's word and speak God's truth over yourself every single day.

Number six, Create healthy spaces what is possible.

In First Corinthians, Chapter seven, verse fifteen, it says, if the unbelieverd departs, let them depart.

God has called us to peace.

This does not mean we walk out of our marriage flippantly, but it does mean we seek peace.

That means that sometimes, for example, if you are married to this person and they're toxic, they're narcissistic, it's just unbearable anymore.

Maybe you don't need to sleep in the same room.

Perhaps you can limit certain interactions when possible, or perhaps you can say no to being their emotional dumping ground.

Sometimes space is sacred.

In some rare cases, even temporary separation may be necessary, especially when safety is at risk for you or your children.

Biblical boundaries are not rebellion.

They are wisdom.

And sometimes when you actually hold those godly boundaries, the other person may actually be convicted by God to repent because now there are consequences to their decisions.

And at other times, unfortunately, it triggers them and they go crazy unhinged, which leads them to the step of pulling away and even getting legal help in situations like these.

So people who allow themselves to be an emotional dumping ground and people just kind of abuse them, and they don't speak up, and they say, well, I gotta turn another cheek, and I gotta know, just allowed to be abused, allowed to be spoken to in a very diminishing way.

That's just kind of the way it is.

What happens is you're not allowing the Holy Spirit to convict the other person because the other person never have to face any consequences for their bizarre, demonic behavior.

And so when we simply say.

Hey, you can't speak to me like that, I will not respond to that.

You have to rephrase that question.

You have to phrase a statement why, because otherwise I won't be listening to that.

So you begin to put some boundaries.

If this person is abusive, say hey, I'm gonna move out for a month.

Why because I can't take this or you can't live here for the next thirty days.

Why this is not safe for me, and this is not healthy for you, and this doesn't under God.

So what it causes is this person to come back to their senses or unfortunately, this also could cause the other person to go into a spiral of self destruction.

And you may say, well, then it will be me causing that.

No, the person is responsible for their decision.

You're simply protecting their heart and a sacred space.

Number seven.

Believe that God sees everything and God will act Genesis sixteen thirteen and says you are the God who sees me invisible.

You may feel unheard, and you may feel dismissed by God, but God sees what you do in private.

God sees your faithfulness.

God sees your midnight christ.

God is keeping the record of your tears.

Don't let your pain lie to you about your condition.

You are not forgotten.

In due time, God will either transform them or transition you.

But until dead, he will sustain you.

Believe that living with a toxic or a narcissistic person is not easy, but you are not helpless, You are not crazy, and you are not alone.

Keep your heart clean, keep your boundaries firm, and keep your eyes on Jesus.

And I want to pray for you right now, right there as you are watching, Jesus, I ask you that you will come into this situation.

You are the prince of peace.

Would you bring you peace?

But Jesus, you're also the carrier of divine wisdom?

Would you bring your wisdom?

You are the miracle maker.

Would you bring change in the hearts of people that's so desperately needed?

And would you bring light into the hearts of people that feel like victims, that feel like forgotten and they feel like they're being trampled over.

Raise them up from the ashes.

Give them beauty instead of ashes.

Lord, give them garments of praise instead of spirit of heaviness.

In Jesus' name, Amen, Thank you for watching this video.

Share this with somebody who's quietly suffering in silence, and remember you can't change them, but you can stay free in the middle of it.

Jesus didn't promise easy relationships, but he promised his presence and peace in the middle of all of our storms.

God bless you until next time.

Thank you for watching this video.

Since twenty twenty our ministry has reached over two hundred and eighty million people online.

We released over eighty two resources in eighteen languages.

I have about one hundred and sixty thousand students in our school and we distribute thousands of books, even into prisons and closed nations.

But that's just half of the story.

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This eternal impact.

Let's reach more, serve more, and love deeper.

Would you join us today to reach more people for Jesus by being a partner of this ministry and you can do that by going to pastorblad dot org forward slash partner.

Thank you for listening to this episode.

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God bless and remember you will raise to deliver