Hello all, It's Sam here to remind you guys about the West Coast leg of our stand up tour, which is just around the corner at the end of September slash early October.

We are going to San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, and Los Angeles, California.

We have added a second date in Seattle and we have added a late show in Portland because our first dates for both sold out, So get tickets to those extra dates.

And I believe there's still tickets for both San Francisco and Los Angeles, but I can't say that forever.

Oh amazing voice crack, so get tickets.

Oh yeah, and also I'm doing a solo stand up show in New York on November seventh a Union Hall.

It's going to be small, intimate vibes.

So basically, get tickets to all of those shows at our bio.

And we have truly had so much fun doing co headlining shows on the East Coast and we can't wait to bring it to the West Coast.

So see you there and enjoy the episode.

Xoxo Sam.

Podcast starts now.

What is up everyone?

You are listening to Stradio Lab coming at you bi coastally what's.

Going on over there in the city of Los Angeles would be okay.

God, nothing, ain't nothing going on here?

Wait, I have something.

So you know how I complain about LA all the time, that's of my whole thing.

Sure, so that's my whole thing.

And I recently had my brother in law come stay with us this weekend, and I was like, okay, well, let's like show them LA.

Like you know, obviously I complain about it constantly, but we'll we'll scramble together something fun.

And when I say we had the greatest weekend start to finish, like, I was like, why would I ever complain about this place?

It's heaven on earth?

And again it's because I was seeing it the someone else's eyes and who was just here for one weekend.

Sorry, I'm laughing because when you said brother in law, my thought went to your sister's husband.

And obviously we're talking about one of Misha's gay brothers exactly.

Yeah, Okay, I was like, you did what.

Yeah, we took him to the Eagle and he really liked it.

No, No, we took one of Misha's gay brothers shout out, shout out to all around town.

And it was so fun and like, obviously it's like the thing with La, like we everywhere we went, we saw people we knew and we were like, wow, what an amazing community, and it was like fun start to finish.

But the thing is when you're here for a weekend, of course, that's fun.

When you're here for a month, there's only six places you can go.

Yeah, it's interesting seeing something through someone else's eyes.

Of course.

I recently had this experience because I rewatched the film Materialists with my mom and I saw it through her eyes, and I would say, through a mother's eyes, and I now like that movie, which when I first saw it, I said, this is not good and actually the dialogue is really stunted and none of the performances make sense.

I watch for a second time, I said, oh, so this is what they're up to in New York.

No, I've always seen that film from a mother's perspective, I must say.

Do you I it's interesting seeing something through a mother's perspective can both be expansive, like you can.

It can actually give you a really new set of values and an extended kind of empathy.

But it can also be limiting, you know, because it's like think of all the things that we do in our daily lives that if you saw from mother's eyes, you be horrified.

Well the things first of all, yes, everything we do in our daily lives a mother would would run screaming at.

But I even think it's hard for me to shake the mother's perspective when I'm listening to music, Like there's always the mother inside of me being like what are they doing these days?

Like or like when something's too repetitive, the mother perspective kicks in and goes like can we skip it?

Is this broken?

Like, and I'm like, I hate that.

This is why I can I ever listened to like one hundred gets because I love my mom too much.

I mean literally, and even sometimes I'll listen to one hundred gets to be like to make my inner mom upset, to.

Be like totally yeah, yeah, you want to be rebellious.

Yeah.

And so you're listening to one hundred gigs alone in your room.

Yeah, being like take that, take that mother perspective.

I love that.

So so yeah, that's what's been up.

That's what's going on.

Should we bring in our guest?

Wow?

Is that crazy?

I know?

This is this is like one of the world's shortest intros.

But I'm sort of like, I don't know, I'm looking at her right in front of me.

She's like in between us.

She sort of is giving honestly kind of challengers, like she'su zandaa and where the two twains?

And yet it's also like Ariel, like there's something Little Mermaid going on here.

Yeah, definitely little Mermaid because of the hair.

For sure.

It's sort of like Little Mermaid if she also was a raver.

Yeah, you know, you know what it is, remember hipster Ariel meme from literally hipster.

Arial come to like, oh.

Wait, I gotta break the silence that.

Okay, wait, please welcome, Please welcome, k.

Boyer, I was quiet for so long.

Okay, wait, so you are so you are hipster Arial?

Have you sort of like I kind of planned your look around that?

No?

Actually, well because my mom was a fake ginger and so I was like, I'll just do that.

Which, so you were actually you're talking about seeing something through your mother's eyes.

You said I'm gonna.

I'm gonna be hipster Ariel.

Yes, Yeah, my mom was regular arial and now hipster.

So I'm excited to see what my daughter becomes.

Yeah, what's your daughter going to become?

She's going to be like goth ariel.

I don't know what she's going to be.

I'm gonna I am planning if I have a daughter, I'm going to name her Sloan because I want her to be predisposed to be at least like kind of a more butch, bisexual type of vibe, you know what I mean.

Yeah, yeah, but we'll see.

I just want her to be evil.

I've just if I have a daughter, she needs to be like a bitch.

You know, Sloan is one of the more powerful names because it's interesting you are saying that it's butch, and of course I see where you're coming from.

But also imagine like a high femme business woman named Sloane.

I don't know that the name is butlf, but it's just like it's tough.

Like you hear there's a girl named Sloan, and you're like, Okay, she's probably gonna be pretty, and she's probably gonna be like too cool for this, And I.

Think you know, Sloan to me, she is a detective, but she herself breaks the law to get to the bottom of it.

Sure kind of like is that what no, Dexter's a serial killer.

I didn't want to show.

Yeah, I'm realizing.

Mostly what I'm picturing is the poster for the film Miss Sloan starring Jessica Chastain, a film I haven't seen, but she is a redhead in it, and she's honestly kind of giving you I whoa.

And I love that.

It's she's giving me, not I'm giving her.

Thank you for that.

I think she was based on you.

She might have, you know, I wouldn't even be surprised.

At this point.

I'm missing quite a few credits in quite a few projects, so fuck that might be it.

Do you feel like you're always in the same room as Jessica chest Stain and then she gets the role and you don't.

You know?

I kind of, I kind of feel like I've gotten I think I've gotten a lot of success where Jessica has not managed to build her career in the way that I have.

And so I think when Jessica gets a win, that's a win for me too, because I think she needs it to feel secure when we share our space together, you know what I mean.

Nice.

So, Jessica, if you're out there, I know you're watching it.

I'm happy for you.

Yes, okay.

I have a followup question.

When Bryce Dallas Howard gets a role, do you feel that that also raises your profile or do you think that hurts your profile?

So when Bryce Dallas Howard gets a role, I get really confused because I say, wait, it's that Jessica chest Dain.

Did Jessica Chastain gonna BBL?

And then I say, oh, no, that's Bryce Dallas Howard.

Where has she been?

She is gorgeous, price our good and she's great.

That's good, that's good.

I know you guys had beef in the past.

Yeah, well it was a small thing.

You know, it's not the same Jessica.

I think we won't get into that here.

It's private information, but you know.

Yeah, of course, of course.

Wow.

Well I you know, we said that we were all in bad moods before we started recording, and I want to say, off the bat, my mood has already improved tenfold, and I kind of would.

Yeah, And let me tell you something, if our guest was Jessica chest Ay, my mood would not have improved by this point.

I would be like move, I would be like running a mile a minute trying to get literally anything out of that quirrel.

I would be I would be like trying to remember what project she's promoting and how it's supposed to be empowering women, and you know what streaming platform it's on, and you know it's gonna be Apple TV plus.

Yeah, a new Peacock original starring Jessica Chesta.

You know I have just every month there's a new one.

There is always she's always in some propaganda film.

Well, then, does she feel a lot of spies?

I just feel like she's I guess maybe I'm mostly thinking of zero Dirk thirty, but she's always sort of she has like a like a chop bob and she's like trying to convince the president that she's right.

I have something to say.

I think Jessica Chastain is always like grateful to be there.

Yeah, and we were almost like drop it, like at this point, you're Jessica Chestain.

We all know who you are.

You are like a cultural figure, and she's always like, oh my god, I'm just so grateful to be here, like this is so amazing, and I'm like no, no, no, I want I'm craving a little bit of entitledness from missus Chestain.

To be honest, Jessica is she Every time I see her in something, it's a movie that I'm rewatching for like the fourth time, and I just noticed that Jessica Justin was there, and I'm like, oh my god, I just could do anything.

Actually, like, what all has she been in?

I know?

She was Tammy.

She was Tammy.

She was she won the literal oscar for Tammy Fay.

And then she also was famously in The Help.

Yes, and she was then And do you remember in the summer of twenty twenty when The Help became the number one most stream movie on Netflix, And then of course there was like backlash that was like, well, actually, like there are other movies you could be watching if you are a white person who is feeling white guilt or whatever.

And then literally Jessica Chaskian had to release a statement, Wait, I'm sorry, am I think that Bryce Dal's coward?

Oh?

No, you might be.

You might I'm looking it up.

You might be.

It's literally both of them, WHOA and I were both in it.

But see, and that one it was easy to tell because one of them, I believe it was Bryce was the blonde.

I'm kidding no, it was Wait, no, Jessica was the blonde one.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

And which one was evil or were they both evil?

I think Bryce was the evil one.

Okay, And you know what's so crazy, Emma Stone is also in that movie.

Wow, now I've seen everything.

Wow.

I don't think I watched the Hell.

I don't know.

I've never seen it.

I can tell you now I did not watch The Help.

Yeah did?

Did Emma put out a statement sing she saw No.

Emma doesn't have social media famously, and honestly you should know that.

Oh, honestly good for her.

Good, honestly good for her.

She loves giving interviews where she's like, you know, I just have the kind of kind of personality where it would give me anxiety and it's like, girl, we all do, but you have to put your hours in.

I feel like that also just means she runs multiple spam accounts, Like that's what that means, because at this point, I I truly do not believe anybody like, oh, I'm not on social media.

I don't have social media.

Yes you are.

You're the freaks on the anonymous accounts like that.

I know.

I actually had a sip.

I had an interaction with someone we know and I won't dos her, but her name is Joe Firestone, and it was we were like fundament We were like, oh my god, it's so impressive that you are not on Instagram anymore and you must have such a calm life.

And then she was like, well, I do have an alt account where I see everything.

I was like, oh, so, okay, so you are on it.

Yeah, yeah, I don't even fantasize.

I think I used to fantasize about, you know, throwing my phone into the ocean, but I'm kind of like whatever.

Like Instagram, I'm like, I'm at peace with it.

If anything, it's also getting so flop that I'm like, it's almost like watching like a former bully, like like start to fail in life, where it's like you maybe used to control my life, but now all I get are like the most insane AI videos or like podcast cups that make no sense, or like like did you know that the earthworm actually lives to be two thousand years old?

And I'm like, this isn't literally it's not engaging me in any way, shape or form.

Instagram was built to make me feel bad, and it's not working anymore.

Yeah, and I kind of I really try to, Like every time I hear it, like, oh, I don't want to I want to be alt, I want to have a flip p one, like why are we posting on social media?

I still remember, I still think about it sometimes.

I saw this girl on my for you page Chop little Bob, tiny, fierce little Bob okaybet, and she says, you know, like I just could never be an influencer because social media is so fake and da da da da dada dad, and you guys have da da da da da da.

Girl.

I go to her page and that was four months ago, and now every single day she's supposed to get ready with me.

So I know you're lying.

I know you're all lying, and I think, honestly, for me, it's become work.

So I feel like opening Instagram, I'm like, this is my job.

I don't want to be here.

So I don't know.

Every time I hear that to me, it says I am actively addicted to doom scrolling, and I wish I was.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I actually think seeing it as your job is the most healthy relationship one can have with it because It's like, yes, the job is meant to make you feel a little bad, like the idea of like quote unquote to use the term like soul sucking, Like, yes, an office job is so sucking.

So if Instagram is your job, yeah, it's going to make you feel a little bad.

Yeah.

What I don't get is being a casual used It's like, so, wait, you are actually like a satisfied, financially secure accountant, you have three beautiful children, and you still want to go to Instagram so you can be exposed to AI disinformation.

Well, they have to volunteer at Instagram.

Well, and so that this actually brings me to something.

I know that there is a lot of well, people are insane now.

I think relationships and dating have been forever, like truly plagued and riddled and rotted by social media.

But I know there's a lot of opinions in the ether about posting your significant other and being mutuls with these significant other on social media.

And I am not going to lie.

I feel like, particularly for men, particularly for heterosexual men, seeing that they have an Instagram account and knowing that they have a girlfriend or a wife, I'm like, looky, why do you have that like that.

The one time, I'm like, why do you even why do you have this?

Because you don't post that's your wife, You're boring and this is not your job.

You work at finance whatever.

So I don't know.

I do think about that sometimes I'm like, that's weird to me.

Yeah, but they have to like watch clips of sports betting podcasts and then occasionally like and then like occasionally like a photo of like a nineteen year old girl.

Yeah, like suspiciously nineteen years old.

Yeah, it's evil if you know.

Actually met a guy at the club.

He found my did not ask me for my Instagram, found my Instagram.

This is a golf club, so this makes a little more sense.

But he has a separate Instagram account, the one that he'd get me on, where he only wears clown makeup and uses a fake name and only follows trans women.

Started flirting with me and then went through my Instagram and followed every girl tagged in my pictures, And I was like, it is so funny.

You're really sexy and you almost would have gotten away with that.

But I am going to disemvalue.

Next time I see at the club, I am going to take your guts out with this boon, but like, what do you mean?

What do I know?

That's that's one of the scariest things I've ever heard, to be honest, Like the clown makeup is like, that's like murderer by it.

But well, and see it's a golf club, so like.

So because you're like, okay, let's not be disrespectful about the tun right and watch your mouth about my culture.

But no, the issue and the thing that happens is, for whatever reason, this specific golf club is like a spawning point for sickeningly, disturbingly beautiful transgender women.

And so now the chasers are getting sophisticated, which this was not sophisticated.

And here's a question for you.

Are these beautiful trans women goth or are they actually sorry infiltrating the goth space and just being supermodels?

Well so it's kind of that, to be honest, like, I'm very much one of them.

I could honestly give a shit.

Honestly, when they play classic golf music at the golf club, I'm like, why does the music suck?

I'm like, oh, it's so funny.

How this is not an Alejandro remix?

Baby, you're holding you're holding the phone, and it says Edison Ray to the DJ.

Yeah, I'm like, actually, can you play?

Can you fucking play?

Like I don't know, love game or some shit, but it's I feel like rarely anyone is goth at the golf club anymore.

Like half of them are emo at best, and most of it's from shean, So I'm like, what are you really, bitch?

At least my dress is vintage, you know, no it's And I also feel like to me, I'm like, I feel like we're kind of allowed to go wherever we want, you know what I mean, Like especially in Dallas, Like what are you gonna do, bitch, I'll tase you?

So okay, So goth club full of beautiful trans women and then clown guy is like this is where I shine?

Yeah, yes, well because then that's the hard thing is chasers, I feel are starting to learn that they need to be like at least hot and so like you can do clown makeup and then be ripped and it's like, well.

Oh, so that's what you're saying.

So it's not that he's hot that you saw him out of makeup and you're like, wow, you're actually really hot underneath all that makeup.

It's that he's shirtless and he has a good body.

Well he's a cute paste too, because he that's the weird thing.

He has the fake clown based account, but immediately DM me like twenty pictures of his face about clown makeup.

So it's like, you know, you're still learning, like you're getting your giraffe legs, you know whatever.

I do think it's just distasteful to follow.

Like mass following at all is a huge red flag.

It is, and you have to like, like, sometimes I find myself, you know, as someone that loves is obsessed with Bears, always has been, you know, when the bears are all on vacation together, You're like, Okay, obviously I can just click on this picture see every single one of their user names and I could just hit follow fallow fula fall hollow.

But you can't do that.

You have to people like one to two of them and then like wait six months.

Because they talk about it, they talk to we talk about it well.

And that's the thing too, I know, for various communities, for various different communities, it's a harmful stereotype that oh they all know each other, they all know each other.

Hot cool trans women actually do all know each other and we'll tell each other about this stuff, you know what I mean.

And so it's like, girl, I know half these bitches, and you're following with we're gonna kill you where gonna rich will sacrifice you.

It's gonna be like weapons.

Yeah, oh my god, you guys should do weapons on him.

You should do weapons?

Do you guys want to know?

Okay, I don't know if either of you are familiar with this meme, but there is this like meme audio that's been going around for such a long time, and it's like these women chanting in Spanish.

They're like doing a dark magic spell.

Me and my friends.

Whenever a guy pisses one of us off, we will occasionally be like should we do the circle?

And then we'll share his number with each other and all send him the like the copy paste and text of that meme with that to his phone and then my god, block him.

But that's kind of like a fun way we found to break up with men.

Sure that's actually really toxic and that like, no, it's good.

No, I think it's good.

I think it's all.

It's good.

Thank you.

The mass following is interesting because it's like it on the one hand, yes, it is this guy's fault for being creepy.

On the other hand, he's using a platform that is almost designed to encourage that kind of behavior, like when you gamify human relationships to that extent.

It's like, yes, it's his fault because he should have more emotional intelligence.

But it's also you're putting the own is suddenly on the user to like define normal behavior, and what if he's you know, it doesn't come naturally to him well, And I.

Think the real issue comes in that the dmification of like trying to hit a bitch up has really stripped.

I think like the allure of like anticipation, do you know what I mean, Like you meet someone at the club, Because here's what would have happened.

Here's what would have happened.

If he had never said into my DMS.

I would have been like, oh, yeah, that like guy with the clown makeup and a nice body, like we were kind of talking.

He was so cute.

I wonder if he's gonna be there next week.

But instead what happened is within twenty four hours, I now know all the other girls at the club, he's talked to.

I know he has a foot fetish.

I know he's using a fake account, and I know that he's kind of like, you know, like the mystery has gone and I already know that he wants me.

So now it's not fun anymore.

You know, we've like fast forwarded to the end because at least I feel like with out the DMS, like anytime you if you meet someone at the club, they're going to be weird and the sex is probably going to be bad, and like you're probably going to not think very fondly of it later, but you can draw that out and have some mystique.

And you just can't do that anymore, you know, and.

Have some longing so storytelling you're missing as a narrative, yes, and also frankly use your imagination.

Yeah, Like what technology does is just like cut you cut to the chase.

Yeah, and that's kind of boring.

You know.

Wait, I want this is like so perfectly leads into our topic, but we first have to do our first segment.

Sam, oh, shall we do that?

Let's do our first segment.

So our first segment is called straight Shooters, And in this segment, going to ask you a series of rapid fire questions basically this thing or this other thing, and the only rule is you can't ask any followup questions.

You have to pick one of those things and you can't ask any follow questions or we will scream at you.

Okay, Upset, I see, and I'm already I'm sensing you're gonna ask a question, and I'm just telling you right now you're gonna not want to do that.

Okay.

Okay.

Gucci Mane or ethel Caine Ale Caine, Okay.

Oppressient thought about gaze or a present bought from Cage Jewelers.

Could you say it again?

Oppression thought about gaze or a present bought from.

Cage Chris, I thought you were saying oppressed.

Oh no, I was oppression for the gaze.

Or oppression thought about the gaze?

Okay, Shine bright like a diamond, or sit tight and eat an almond.

Sits I mean almond?

Okay, live, laugh, love or move that bus, move that bus.

Okay.

Shoplifting from Sephora or regifting.

Okay.

This one's a tough one in the sense that it barely works.

Being a kink positive or peeing in sync on a whim.

You know what that's a toss up.

I'm gonna say kink positive.

Okay, all right, Midnight cowboy, big white sex toy or shine bright queer joy?

Wow?

What was the first one, midnight cowboy?

And what was the second one?

Big white sex toy?

That one?

Okay?

Calling a therapist a shrink or calling yourself a dink?

Oh, calling a therapist a shrink?

Wowow Sokay.

We rank all our guests performances on a scale of zero to one thousand doves.

Doves, doves from.

The Lady Gaga song one thousand doves.

You should know that.

From the golf club, damn it.

Yeah?

Okay, Well what am I getting?

How many dogs?

Let's see, let's see.

I do want to address you know you did multiple times ask a question in the form of a of asking us to repeat things.

Sam, I don't know that.

Now that was a follow up question.

I guess.

I guess you're right that.

I I guess I can't believe I'm letting you down me like this, but I guess you are right that.

It's not exactly a follow up question.

It is more of a sort of clarification question.

That's right, well, and to be and I do like, I want to give you some extra points for pushing back on on my criticism of your question asking.

So we're looking certainly, we're looking certainly above an eight hundred.

Yeah, Okay, what am I getting docked for?

Sam?

Okay, calm down, Sam, What are you thinking.

I'm going to go with eight hundred and fifty six doves?

Yeah?

I think that's correct.

I really I actually would just love to know what are the four doves you're taking that's keeping me from eight sixty.

That's really what I would like to know, those specific four Sam.

So you know, I just think you were rushing a bit.

You know, there there wasn't much luxuriating okay, and you know this isn't work, This is play, and I think it's really important to to, you know, just find a really tasteful way to lounge in the game.

And I just want to say, hey, like you, I would say your best moment by far, of course, was interrupting me and saying shoplifting from sofor I mean, that's classic sitcom acting.

You were honestly being like Lisa Kudro in that moment, in kind of like a clip from Friends that would go viral, you know, and I really loved that.

And then when where you lost me was I you know, I had that one that had three options, and you as me to repeat two of them.

Now each time you ask me to repeat, I'm like, Okay, a punchline is coming, A punchline is coming up, punchline is coming.

The then you just chose one.

Well, you know, so that and see that's where I'm going to come back to you, Samantha.

That was actually where I was lingering on the question and considering my.

Oh think about interesting.

Very active imagination.

Don't even get me started.

Well, in conclusion, you know you this is a very good score, and I think you should be very proud of yourself.

Yeah I'm proud.

I'm proud.

But next time I'll be coming for blood.

And just know.

That we brought we brought some people down a peg before.

Yeah, we're people.

We're not afraid of being people down a peg.

We're not, actually, and we need to do more the world two of that.

Actually, the world needs a lot more of that, too many.

I agree.

You know, people, young people these days are such are so are so weak, and yeah, they care so much about what language you used to.

It's actually kind of crazy.

That's it's actually flipping now like millennials are the ones that care too much about language, and now it's going to be like gen Z's like, why do old care so much about language?

We've become I in like the blink of an eye, I have watched gen Z be like, actually we are fucking evil again.

I know it has been.

Super weird, super weird.

It's been confusing.

It's confusing, but I'm also like, I'm like I might not understand it, but I'm sort of like let them cook, like it's not I think they they need to go through.

Nothing good will come out of me scolding a nineteen year old, Like I actually do need them to make their own decisions.

And I know that the arc of you know, whatever Martin Luther King.

Said, yeah, you ever leave it there, whatever he said, I'm in.

I'm into it.

The arc of history bends toward justice.

Yeah, yeah, you know.

And in eighteen eighteen, I mean I remember myself at that time and now seeing them run around in the while, it's like, you actually can't.

I don't think that.

I think there's like a three year gap where the brain stops taking an information.

Yeah, and it's just kind of like your job is to drink prematurely.

And you have to do whippets.

Do you know?

I was pressured into taking a whip at one time, but the canister was empty and I just lied and I was like, that was awesome.

I put it back on the table and walked away because I was truly I was horrified.

This was also, by the way, at a goth club after party.

Well, of course, yeah, don't ever go to one of those genuinely ever.

I'm sorry, but the idea of a goth club after party in Dallas, Texas sounds like one of the most interesting places to be.

All turn into orgies, and not an orgy that is well organized, of course, which is really kind of where my grithe is, you know what I mean.

It's not the orgy, it's where's the schedule?

Yeah, you want to bring a sort of militarist Jessica chest stained vibe to the goth orgy.

You want to say, let's actually kind of sit down and figure out who's going to be in that corner, who in that corner, and how we're gonna and.

Where's there where's the drink station, like where canning Refreshman's?

Yeah, yeah, who are the liquor sponsors?

Because it looks like there's just a bunch of empty bottles here.

Right and I'm not drinking.

Yeah, I'm not doing that.

Are not even working.

We're giving each other literally just whippets that are empty.

Yeah, and seriously, you guys, when are we all going to come?

Like, like, would you have to tell me when we're all gonna come?

Because if I come to earlier, mine what's going on, because I'll do whatever.

Just tell just we need to organize, because I refuse to be left out.

I know, God, you know, maybe that's the the dom and me.

I want to be the one running everything and I don't like showing up and it's it's already halfway and it's it's not good.

It's like, well, there's no fucking reason for me to be here.

The the only time I've done whippets was with a group of gay guys and one straight guy, and he I was like, so interesting, you're the one straight guy.

And he was obviously so hot to me, and not because he was one straight guy, because he was hot to me, and I kept being like, damn so hot.

I wish he wasn't straight.

And then I kept telling people that and like like within earshot of him, and then he kept being like, I'm straight, I'm engaged to a woman.

And I was like, okay, and why are you hanging out with a bunch of literally why are you hanging out with the gig guys at like three am?

Also get this?

But five years later bye.

Well yeah, and what is he currently?

Is he still with a woman?

Yeah, but but but open him by he's back open?

Okay.

See, I don't feel like that works for straight I not to be hateful.

I the only people that I have actually known make open and open relationship work, specifically an open relationship are old gay men that I haven do that.

No, you're right, You're absolutely right.

Okay, you have to have lived through, sorry, the age crisis.

No, literally, though it's literally a different thing, Like we are not the generation that could actually handle the type of like who and n anny bullshit that people are talking about doing with their fucking throubles nowadays.

You had to live through the AIDS crisis at the antique store that I worked at, and I still cover shits for him sometimes.

My boss and his husband are the nastiest old queens, Like I mean, evil, evil bitches, liver spots.

He's constantly getting shit removed at the dermatologists.

I went in there to cover a ship for remember, the first time in like four months.

The other day he's missing a tooth.

Now I think he's just going out back and fighting people.

They are never nice to each other, and they're my favorite people on earth.

Anytime, I'll show him like a picture from an event and he'll be like, I was doing Dragon this seventies and back then.

You are either a break fish and I'll just go back to work, or no.

What does he say?

He says, Oh god, I don't know what it is.

But I remember one time he literally looked me up and down.

He goes back in my day, you had to be fish, and then goes to his office and I was like, and you know what it Let me go bleed mite, let me go blend my face, excuse me.

Excuse me.

And then you came back and you made your entrance.

I did, and I got more beautiful because he put that heat on me every single day.

That's great, you know, pressure making diamonds, and that's why what he did was good, right.

I Actually I think that's how if anyone's listening.

If any HR departments like that's how you should speak to your employees in an inclusive way.

Critique women's faces.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

If you are a sixty year old gay man, I will take that from you.

If you're fifty or under, though, I will stab you.

That's you know what I mean.

Yeah, that's actually true.

That's true.

That's complex.

I do.

I think if you were a drag queen in the seventies in Texas, you can honestly hit me.

I don't.

You can do whatever you want.

It's completely fine, girl.

You earned your stripes, you know.

Damn I love that.

Wow.

Have you considered pitching a reality show about you working at an antique store run by two old queens who were drag queens in the seventies in Texas?

You know?

I feel like that would hit a little close to home for me, so I haven't.

But something similar to that is actually actively being pitched right now, not a reality show, but hopefully maybe sometime next year you'll see that and say, oh, that bitch stole the idea that I gave her on podcast and say something horrible about you, and we can have Yeah.

No, I'm excited to have a big fight, like a nasty public bee for attention for I'm coming for blood.

It's really going to be below the belt stuff.

I'm going to comment.

I'm going to say, look at what hipster Ario is saying now.

This knockoff mermaid, hookoff mermaid ass utterly perfect.

Okay, okay, Yeah, As you know, this podcast is about straight culture, and everyone brings a straight topic and then we discuss what's straight about it.

So we would like to extend the question to you, what is your straight topic and what is straight about it?

I decided to be controversial today and I am going to say that I think hookup culture is slowly being sucked into the vacuum of straightness.

I think that's where the appropriation is happening now, I do, And.

I think this is really interesting because obviously the stereotype would be like, you know, gay guys especially, it's like hookup, hookup, hookup, hook U left and right left, right, left right.

And now you're saying that that straight people are taking our techniques and utilizing them for their own sick and twisted.

Games very poorly.

So tell me, you know you're out there, you're dating, you're on apps.

What are you seeing?

Well, So I do have serious thoughts about this, but it's kind of shocking because here's the thing.

There was there was a time.

There was a time where if you were a man, this is how your life would work.

You would meet a woman in your early twenties.

She'd be a SIS woman, and you would like lie to her and be like, you're my princess, I'm going to give you the world.

We're gonna die together, and then you would marry her, and then you would go pay a trans woman to fuck you.

And now it's like men just go on Tinder and they kind of just message all the women, regardless of genitals, something very like strangely sexual, you know what I mean.

It's like a pickup line, like sometimes like a nasty pickup line is like hot, but the way they do it, it does feel like like they're trying to lure you into like a saw trap and there's no offer of like I don't know, like I almost often feel like CIS women and trans women now in the dating game are kind of getting dogged out in the same ways, and no one's getting paid, and they're expecting a lot of things for free and I think gay men have built a beautiful hookup culture, and I'm so glad that like Sniffy's is here, because Grinder is becoming weirdly romantic now and so somewhere needs to be dirty, you know what I mean.

But sorry, this is kind of like a huge tangent.

No.

I think part of what you're saying is like hookup culture with gay guys, there's a jois de vive in it, or at its best.

I mean, I do think now with everyone like being on g and needing like fifteen loads at all times, it is getting a little more sort of optimized.

But in the heyday, it was just like, okay, everyone's talking.

It's so fun.

At any point you could hook up with your friend, like at any point you could look at a map and see who's around.

But no one is like copying and pasting the same thing to fifteen.

People right well, And I think the issue too is that there was a time where casual sex and now I'm gonna put my serious hat on, there was a time I think, like you know, I think pre twenty tens in particular, like very early two thousands, and you would see it a lot in like those like kind of college comedy movies like really nasty, like drunk hookup sex was really normal for straight people culturally, but that was very much like from a man's perspective.

And then I think we kind of started, you know, like you know, like leading up to like the me Too era.

I think kind of really hearing women say like, oh, this isn't like good, this is like only good for the guys.

And then now I feel like we're kind of coming full circle and people are being like, why aren't you guys fucking anymore?

And it's like, well, because do you remember what happened the last time straight people tried to regularly have casual sex.

It doesn't work this there's no history and it always ends up being weird, you know.

And now I feel like it's become easier than ever.

And they treat Tender like its grinder, like you you don't get dates on Tinder?

Do you guys know that?

No, So tell us more about that, because we've been certainly out of the loop straight dating wise for a while, and Tinder especially, I'm like I think of it as like as like always fossilized in like twenty fifteen.

Yeah, Well that's so it kind of should be.

But now you're saying it's changed.

Now it's like the men and is that why then people go to bumble, which is like women message.

Yes, and it changed nothing.

It changed absolutely nothing.

So how it works hinge Hinge is going to be men who are slightly less attractive than you would like, Yeah, but they are really sweet and they're kind of at that perfect point of like, I still want to try, but I am getting desperate, and so I am actually going to treat you pretty well, at least for the first couple of months.

You know what I mean.

So that's fun.

Hinge is really cool to be do me Tinder, Do you guys remember how there's a tab on there that you could put what your relationship goals are and one of those options is still figuring it out?

You remember that?

So that is basically the Tinder straight guy equivalent of the tab on Grinder that says yes in all caps send NSFW picks.

That's what that got got it?

Yeah, And it's pretty much like you match with a bunch of guys during the day and then your phone literally shuts down at three am because they're all texting me to come over, and it like you know, it's fasoms out the the wires or whatever.

It's evil.

It's really really strange to me.

I don't know, does it Does it work?

Like, are these guys getting to hook up?

Yeah?

I have to imagine they're not, because at this point it's just cat calling.

But on my phone, Oh do you know what I mean?

Yeah?

Which, and I'm not like I'm not woke scolding them like I'm not with them, and I because I I like the attention.

I'm trying to say that, you know, but no, I haven't.

I'm not going to your home at three am?

Do you know what I mean?

And are women doing that as well?

Like are women being like, come over, I'm it's two am.

No.

Every time I matched with a woman, she we never speak.

I speak, well, of course, that's sort of a class.

Well, I mean, are women like are you doing that to men?

Like our straight women or like male attracted women doing that to men?

No, to be honest, I've been completely like I'm completely pilled on the whole, like I'm not talking to you first, I'm not making any plans.

And it's crazy because I used to be very like actually like even if I was with a man like it would be a queer relationship.

It's not like you make the plans, you tell me where you're taking me, you text me that you miss me.

I'm not doing that well.

Also, well, straightman actually like when you're mean to them, which is also kind of the really unfortunate thing, you know, because I'm not I mean girl, I think I've been very nice to both of you this whole time.

You've been super nice, ye can say again, and then yeah, the wanting.

I see that dynamic in straight relationships a lot, where the straight man wants the woman to be mean to him.

It like, is this weird cycle where I'm like, this is a bizarre form of foreplay where like the man will like make mistakes and be like doofy, and the woman will just fucking lose her shit at him, and like that's just like that just means they're having an amazing day and they're going to have sex later.

So here's the thing with that.

I actually think, you know, every relationship needs a certain level of passion.

It's almost like the fuel that keeps it going.

And I think for many straight couples they don't have access to positive like positive valence, passion so the only passion they do have is like negative passion and like fight based passion.

So it's like they're bickering or they're like, you know, you imagine like sort of like a middle aged stray couple that's super into like real estate or something all of that.

That's like the way they can the way they can access passion, whereas, like, you know, it's like for a for a gay couple, it's let's say, bring someone into having a threesome, or for a lesbian couple, it's like investing in a really complicated sex toy that they read about.

And so I do think that there is something kind of complex and kinky happening with a woman yelling at a man.

No, You're actually completely right, because what happens is that all roads lead to makeup sex, which is objectively really good, you know.

And the idea of makeup sex, if I may, is a very like straight rom Colm type thing.

It's like, makeup sex is something that like girls in Sex and the City would talk about at brunch.

Is like, and then I thought to myself, are we making it up when we have makeup sex?

Like that is what makeup sex is.

It's it's like it's like one of those It's honestly something that Dakota Johnson will talk about a materialists, So.

We need a materialist sequel materialists too.

When can I ask you something case because okay, I feel like we you mentioned me to then post me to.

There was this like era of almost like semi ironic missandry of like all men suck blah blah.

I do think as a culture we are past that, Yeah, but it's almost like nothing has replaced it.

And yeah, what I'm seeing and this is anecdotal, and I'm seeing this with like some of my single women friends.

There's almost like, in the same way that men are driven towards being in cells, there's almost like an ironic celibus that I'm seeing.

It's almost like as a joke.

Women are women I know are saying they don't want to have sex.

Yeah, you know, well, so I think there's a lot happening.

And I really, I really do think about this often.

I think I'm really fascinated by what is happening with this line that I brought up earlier, the like young people don't suck anymore.

Yeah, I actually love that line, and I think it's so funny because I think, like culturally, like specifically, like a lot of the esthetics going on right now and a lot of the music that's really big in party scenes and kind of this whole.

And maybe I'm biased about this because I'm on substack, but like the way that Substack princesses talk about the app and writing and raining magna dum lam.

You know.

I think people my age, like like you know, like early early to mid twenties, are kind of at this point right now where they're realizing like our youth, Like when I was like ten, eleven, twelve and internet calllture was kind of really taking over the world, we all had this conception that that was millennial culture, and it really wasn't actually millennial culture at all.

That was a very specific subset of millennials online making content that mostly children were consuming that ended up paving the way for the mainstream And so we actually kind of really missed a lot of real cool millennial cultural output.

And now they're like we're doing indie sleeves dance parties and at the fucking like shitty club down the road totally, and what is what does indie slees mean?

Like, what are you talking about when you say that, but that so much of that stuff at the time, you know, it was very like I feel like a lot of it, Like musically in particular, it was very nihilistic.

And that's why, like the party culture was really cool, and especially when we look back at like the hipsters taking cool pictures on their iPhones with the CPIA filter, like, yeah, it's cool because everybody was really fucked up and having crazy sex and like nobody give a shit at anything at those parties, and so I think they're kind of trying to go back there.

And I think Brat Summer was like the really sexy, nasty brick on that road.

That confirmed it for me that people are kind of caught right now between wanting like young people are very caught between wanting to justify all of their stupid opinions politically somehow, like every like you can't just hate anything or dislike something or like something.

You have to have like a weirdly thought out, like political moral reason that you like or don't like that thing.

But then they also want to like do cocaine and pass out in an alleyway in like a ripped tank top with a union jack on it, you know what I mean totally.

I don't know if that answers your question.

First of all, I'm fascinating.

Sorry, go ahead, Sam, Well I doesn't.

I felt like it was a very interesting journey because I I see what you mean, Like, I think the understanding millennial culture later is like a very real thing.

And I think like we, like millennials, we didn't do like we didn't have like political reasons why we were disliking things like or liking things.

It was very like surface level, like this is cool, this isn't cool.

Yeah, And I feel like like because we weren't having like so much online discussion, we didn't we weren't all like a little bit scholars about things that we shouldn't have been.

Well, no one is now either, but it's like you're expected to do this language thing, you know what I mean, even for people who have no real politics at all.

Yeah.

I'm trying to think if I because on the one hand, yes, Sam, like when we were in our Indie Slei's era, God, when we were doing all that, yes, it was sort of in a sense a political but also we did invent being like friends is problematic.

Yeah, that's true, you know, what I mean.

Like, we did pave the way for then, but.

I think that was I do think that was two separate things, yes, And now I think the issue is that people my age are like, I can do both, and it's like, actually, you really are going to have a hard time being the nihilistic party girl and the bitch in a comment section like literally using buzzwords like your therapist told you last week to score total another bitch in another comment like, it's actually kind of difficult to do both, you know what I mean.

And so I think that's why we get the weird like ironic cell because you do want to fuck like you do.

I know, you want to fuck like crazy, but you also want to be like celibate and you want to like watch men die, and it's very confusing.

I think there's just.

A lot of okay, yes, and now you're bringing it back to like the celibacy thing.

I do think and maybe what we're what all this is leading to is like this idea that young people aren't having sex.

It's not quite that they're not having sex, it's that they are pulled in these two very different opposite directions and like haven't decided yet, So there are they have.

Part of them is pulled to like just extreme promiscuity in a nihilistic way, and then the other part is pulled towards like trad celibacy.

Oh yeah, but I have something.

I'm like, okay in the same way that you're the claim right now is that like straight people are claiming sort of gay hookup culture or trying to there's something about it, because like when we were gay in like twenty ten or whatever, it was like, okay, well, that's one of the worst things you can be.

So I'm like, I'm like, either not gonna do that or I'm gonna like be anonymous and insane.

And so there was like this like push and pull of like, well, am I like cool indie, straight seeming guy, or am I like sucking like a theater guy's dick?

Like which is it?

And I feel like that's where like straight people are currently, like they're like, am I like scholar who hates men?

Or am I like like indiesly slut?

So really, no, you're absolutely right.

Well, and I think that the big problem too is that once straight women, I think culturally kind of all were like we all publicly now know and accept and agree that drunk sets with a man like messy one off drunk sex with a man is not fun or good.

You can't put that back in the box.

And I think the fantasy of like, why isn't everyone at this party fucking right now?

Like involves that creature not being released from the box.

Yeah, when you're a straight person, do you know what I mean?

And you can't really go back.

But I think like everything is about nostalgia now in a really boring, like really fucking exhausting way.

Everything is some kind of a nostalgia piece, and so it's hard to I think it's just hard for people to separate those ideas out.

And I think that also kind of comes from like the way Internet language has evolved to just take like very strong words with very specific meanings to just be like argument fodder now, you know, like nothing really means anything, so they don't know what they're talking about.

Yep.

And every is a prompt.

Every like everything you see is, whether it's a little clip of a talk show or a new song whatever, it is a prompt for an argument to happen, and no one actually cares about the specifics.

Right, No, we're all arguing about Sabrina Carpenter.

I didn't.

I don't even know what the album sounds like.

I haven't heard it.

I haven't heard it.

No one has, I believe, I don't think anyone has.

She could be doing it, she could be rapping that whole track list, and I would not mow.

No one will, Yeah, no one will know, no one will.

This is interesting.

It's it's always I feel both.

It always feels so cathartic to sort of talk in such grand ways about like the culture now, and then I also feel like I zoom out and I'm like, damn, I bet I sound stupid.

As fuck, but he's so really intelligent.

But I love it.

The nostalgia thing.

I this is like not groundbreaking.

But I was even watching like some of the VMA's clips this morning, and like the Dojakat performance, I was like, damn, she is such a performer.

Why is this eighties themed?

Like, I'm like, I don't need you to be eighties.

Can be mean?

Am I allowed to be mean on you?

Because I are so sweet?

You've been really sweet, even an angel.

I genuinely I saw her sit down for one interview for this album.

I was like, bitch, I am turning off.

I'm not doing it with this fucking like Malibu realtor look she has going on.

I cannot stand it.

And I literally, I swear to God, if I see one more outfit on a red carpet that's like a reference to some look that Madonna passed out in in ninety four, I'm gonna shoot myself.

I'm so tired.

I don't Why does I don't like that everything is a reference.

I hate it.

It's I literally do feel like I create.

I'm hungry.

I'm hungry for something exciting.

It doesn't even need to be like good, just no, something new, you know.

I'm sorry.

I know as she's very people are very back and forth about how they feel about her.

I actually really love Meg and Stalter, like everything.

She's kind of doing right now in all.

Her little fashion moments and her very strange presence in her interviews, Like I kind of like when she makes jokes and they flatline really bad.

Like I don't know, I like what she is doing, you know, just dressing up as different beverages.

I think it's funny, you.

Know, I think you're right, Like, I actually it's funny.

I hadn't considered that Meg is actually a unique figure right now.

Yeah, and as she's really on the up and up, she's she's such an it girl, she's and then newly Lena Dunham show, it would be a great time for her to just behave and show up wearing like the dress that the brand sent her.

And I actually do respect, I like I hadn't fully thought about this, Like I do actually respect that she's insisting on being literally more psychotic than ever.

Yeah, it's really amazing, it's like genuinely brave.

No, And it's like it to the point like it's actually like because her whole character, like I remember seeing her videos and a lot of her delivery is about it seeming like halted and stuttery, and so I can't almost help but feel like, particularly that one moment, I don't even know what talk show she was on, but she's screaming like get me out of here, talking about London.

It was kind of like awkward, like it was yeah, and it was like actually kind of uncomfortable.

But it's like I feel like you wanted that, and I kind of really respect that, Like it seems like she kind of craves not even like oh, everyone's in on the bit and so they're gonna laugh when I'm awkward, Like she's actually trying to make people feel a little uncomfortable.

Yeah, and I really love that.

I think it's really sucky.

Actually I agree.

It also is literally sorry but literally necessary in the talk show format because talk shows are so beyond stale.

And I'm not like the first person to say that, but it's like, obviously, I you know, I think it's sad when one of them is canceled.

I think it's sad when one of when, like you know, you notice people sort of like moving on from the format.

I grew up on talk shows.

I grew up loving like Conan and whoever else.

But like, yeah, the reason people thought it was exciting to watch Letterman is because sometimes interesting things would happen.

Yeah, that does not happen anymore every once in a while.

No, after a lady got got showed up that lot of paper, it was kind of all downhill from there.

I don't know why she's I sound like a huge stand I have not listened to anything since what was the country one?

I'm not gonna.

Lie, Joanne, you didn't listen to CHROMATICA.

A girl?

Do you think you go in.

So I'm the opposite of a Stan honest to god.

The second that I don't like a single for an upcoming album, yeah at the door.

I kind of love that.

It's nice to be honest with people, like something about I feel that way a lot with like big franchises of like say Star Wars or something like.

I'm like, if it is bad, I'm out, Like I can't make no loyalty.

I might have no loyalty.

No, it's and that's actually that's called respect.

It's called rect artist.

And if they produce something bad, then I'm not gonna listen to or watch that.

As far as I'm concerned.

You are the girl at the water Burger, and if my order is incorrect, I will come back and order it again.

So you know, like it's very simple.

I'm not gonna say, well, I loved her work last week, so I can let it go.

I don't give a shit about the sandwich.

I will say when it's when it's Lady Gaga, I will eat a rotten burger like anything she puts out.

If it's like I just like have to consume it.

It's I I don't know why, but.

You do get hypnotized in this way.

Well, I have this sick and twisted game of like like basically coping, where if it's bad, I'm like, no, no, no, you don't get it.

The bad is a commentary on good like bad, like I twist and turn and it's like for her, literally I do well.

That is how I am with t a extent with Madonna.

But oh you know, not anymore.

When they pissed me off, I will literally at them on Twitter like I did not like this.

I made one of that k Twigs for putting Northwest on her album.

I said that was crazy.

You're like, be better.

I was, oh h that one girl that's been beefing with ARCA for years.

I have added her multiple times.

The other oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I've added her.

Everyone is always beefing with ARCA.

I'm also like, okay, I obviously like from the beginning, you know, we were there in the trenches when ARCA first came out, like we were, you know, reading Pitchfork.

You know you were, you were getting ready for pre K with your little with your little Mermaid backpack.

So I you know, yeah, but now in the garden.

But I have to say, now, I'm like I'm like, I'm great, you know, she's grandfathered in.

Like I will always say, if I have to, I'm at the polls and she's an option.

I'm going to vote for Arca.

But could I tell you anything she has released in the last fifteen years.

No, she's sort of to me, Arca is just that one photo of her that's sort of bionic totally.

That's it.

Yeah, some people are just a photo.

Yeah, well, and that's yeah.

No, I here's my thing, here's my thing.

If the Nexus swirls around Arca's head, I think it's fair to say that at the center of all that drama, it's probably Arca.

But that's a doll, So I'm always going to back her up and well, and for me, it was like they've had this whole kitty kakat cat back and forth.

But then she seb Deliza.

She like got on TikTok with one of those like evil robot dogs as like a prop, and I was like, you're a corny ass bitch and you were making like really cool music in twenty fourteen, and now you're trying to bite the Regaton hand.

It's not working for you, and you've got this fucking war machine on a leash in bedsty.

You're a weird ass this and I commented that.

I was like, something is wrong with you and you're beating with the doll.

Who am I gonna side with the dolls?

So amazing?

Do we want to say anything final about say, hookup culture?

I guess the one thing I want to say not okay, it's we love to go off topic and yeah, we celebrate it.

I'm just wondering just to wrap it up roughly, is like the thing with it is like I do wish.

I do wish straight people could have tasteful hookup culture.

Like I know, I agree that there's like something about it that just like does not work.

But I feel I feel genuine empathy for for all sides where I'm like, if if there could be equality and then this would be so beautiful because I do think it's it can be so fun and such an easy way to have fun with people.

I don't actually I love that.

I don't think they should have access to that.

I truly I think you have to figure out the sensuality first, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, I think even like I am not going to sit here and say that before I transitioned, all the hookup sex I was having with gay guys was like beautiful and romantic and that we were talking about like queer history.

No, I like I was, Yeah, it was like bros, you know what I mean.

Like it was a lot of bad sex and some occasional really good sex.

But much like the talk show format, Yeah, every once in a while, something exciting would happen.

Every once in a while, something would happen that I wouldn't want to remember.

Yeah, but with straight people like kind of actually literally what you were saying, like, we literally have to get into a cycle of like I'm yelling at you because you've been throwing pebbles at my head from across the couch for two hours and now I'm pit and that's why we're about to go fuck so hard, Like and then you do that for twenty years and not to marriage, before you get a divorce, when your kid goes to college, Like it doesn't really make a lot of sense.

And Yeah, so many straight men, I think they feel like they aren't getting the sex they deserve because oh women think I'm ugly and I'm not six feet tall, and it's because you have no swag.

It's because the average man walking around at like prime fucking age, like you're in literally the world's in front of you.

You have no real responsibilities, You have an okay job, like this is your time to be fucking and you're not because they like are so lame.

I'm gonna give you guys, like a super dose of estrogen one day so we can all just hit the town together and you can see how bad the game is.

It's crazy, like we love to do that, so you to do that.

Yeah, de visiting the town is that You're gonna give us one super dose and then we're.

Well and it will be like yeah, probably like a four hour like grisly painful trans sprow and all the HATI.

Okay, it's sort of going to be like the substance.

But for positioning.

Yes, yes, that sounds like an amazing night the goth club.

It's super dose and hit up the goth club.

Yeah my god, I hope the clown guy doesn't follow you, but also sort of want him to.

If you transition and look pretty, you probably.

Will if challenge accepted.

But yeah, I mean it's really it just comes down to like you can't wait, Like I think you have to figure out how to wait and to long and to tease.

Yeah, I will email it to you guys at some point.

There's this girl who does a lot of like very kind of serious monology videos on TikTok and she's been talking a lot about flirting lately and about how like flirting is the kind of the same muscle that you use to like play, pretend, and that's what makes you good at doing it.

Is like the ability to play and not just with other people, but like with yourself and to kind of interact with the world from a playful standpoint.

I don't know, like even on a grinder, sometimes I feel like there's still, like you know what I mean, there's like a even if there's a system in place, like there's a playfulness to it.

And I think straight men they get it in their mind and it's like it looks like they're watching porn.

Well, the playfulness is the playfulness is related to ego.

You have to put your ego aside to be playful, because you have to risk being slightly humiliated or slightly humbled or slightly misunderstood without it being a direct attack on your entire being, like on your entire sense of self worth.

And I think I'm not saying, to be clear, that all gay people are good at that, but I'm saying that's like and I'm not gonna know, but that is like an I think the people I know that are at their happiest being sort of promiscuous do have that, Like I think that's I think that is the secret basically.

Yeah, No, I completely agree, and I kind of have realized that.

I think I just kind of flirt with everyone all the time, mm hmm.

And it is a fun way of interacting with people, you know what I mean, Like it's I agree to do it.

You know how It's like if you never see an ankle and then someone shows you their ankle, you're gonna get really hard.

And so I think the same thing kind of happens if you like take out all of the like the shame, like the fear of being embarrassed, you know what I mean, and just like start flirting with everyone, not even like with any intention, Like you should just be flirtatious, you know what I mean, Like the world just kind of opens up, you know.

It's like fun energy to bring into the world.

And I actually think what you're saying is like, to be flirtatious without expectations is like goes against these sort of like optimization ethos of the apps, because you're not thinking in terms of cause and effect.

You're not thinking, oh, I'm investing in flirting with this person to get sex in return.

You're just actually having fun.

Yeah.

Yeah, and if you actually just have faith in that, it will lead to it's not that it will lead to sex, but it will lead to just like having a good time.

Rights well yeah, and it's kind of guys, young guys at the club have just gone back to being pick up artists, and so now we're going to need pick up artists instructional videos because they're not doing lines anymore.

They're just coming up And what most of them will do is they will not look at anyone else you're speaking to.

They will interrupt you in the middle of a conversation and they'll go, I just want you to know I've been watching you from across the club for two hours now, and you're so beautiful and I would love if I could get all your import Like it's like, why would that work?

And so now we need like more scammer guys to teach them how to do it right, and then we have to go through how that's not an ethical business practice and it's just like a whole thing we've already done.

Well, we need to put the art back and pick up artist say that we do.

Also, we do need to teach them what hung means definitively totally.

I mean the way that hung is just thrown around.

I'm like, you know, words have meaning, right, the way.

The word hung is just thrown around, the abbreviations.

I'll see BWC and then I'll get the picture and I'm like, where where is it?

You know what I mean.

And that's also probably because there are now straight men on Grinder, because there's so many trans women on there, and so they don't really know what hung means.

But hung means like it's going to be a problem with the weight women at the TSA.

It does not mean slightly above average.

You know.

Yeah, I want to throw that complain in there too.

That's a beautiful complaint.

Thank you.

I am well.

I think we have done an amazing job.

I might agree.

I don't know if we answered any No, we answered all of the questions.

First of all, we asked.

We asked amazing questions and we answered them perfectly.

This podcast is over or this is the season finale, and thank you everyone.

For listening pretty much pretty much.

I Jessica Tastin was so happy to be here today.

Oh my god.

And you were amazing, you were.

Amazing, Rosa, thank you.

We have our final final segment and that is called shout Outs and and it we pay homage to the grand straight tradition of the radio shout out, and we shout out to anything that we are enjoying.

People, places, things, ideas, and we will think of the moss spot and I honestly first and George, I actually have one that I was talking.

You have one, okay though, and I'll think of one as you're speaking.

Okay, what's up freaks, lousers and perverts around the globe.

I want to give a huge shout out to Parverty Shallow.

That's right, past guest of this podcast, Parverty Shallow.

I just watched Survivor Australia versus the World and Parvety was so deeply good at this fucking game.

I'm I'm I've become a full on Survivor head as many know, and she is so confident, powerful, playful fun.

I'm in awe of just how incredible one person can be at a game that is supposed to be like relatively random.

She is a powerhouse.

I want her to run the government.

I want her in charge of everything.

I'm like starstruck just from Afar.

I'm just like, I can't believe someone is this powerful and not to mention, how the hell drop the workout.

I'm trying to figure out how you can hold these like sit up positions for hours on end like you are like physically strong, emotionally strong.

Gorgean this nice as hell.

I love you, Parverty whoo who God.

Remember when she started a group chat with us and then I was like, maybe this is gonna be like a lasting thing, but then we never were in touch again.

Yeah, well that's okay.

I mean she was just like the way that she plays.

I knew.

I was like, you know, she needs us for the next vote, and I'm in.

No, But I think she likes us though, and I actually like us.

I'm gonna get back into.

Group chats work too.

Yeah for you to occasionally scroll down and look at it and be.

Like, yeah, okay, uh, what's up?

Freaks and kinky perverts and everyone else, even the in cells and even the vole cells, You're all valid to me.

I want to give a shout out to ordering the ice cream as dessert at the restaurant.

So, when you're at a restaurant, you're seeing a dessert man, you're seeing a Tira missoux, you're seeing a chocolate moose, you're seeing a carrot cake, you're seeing potentially even a kind of artisanal doughnut.

You want to order something that seems difficult to make, that's something you can't get at home.

But guess what, what are you actually wanting.

It's ice cream.

You're wanting ice cream, So just order ice cream.

Life is too short to try to be fancy with it.

And guess what.

Oftentimes these places, if they're making a tear massoux, they're even making like a better ice cream than you would get at the local Hogandaws.

So order that ice cream.

It might be a sort of like crazy as flavor, or it might be a classic like chocolate hazel nut.

It's gonna be more creamy and more impactful than what you're gonna get at the store, and that's what you want anyway, So just go ahead and order by the way, not for nothing.

It's going to be cheaper than the tresuit.

So go ahead and order the ice cream, share it with your lover, and yeah, get a shot of espresso, and then go home and have anal sex.

Right, yes, go whenever you are ready.

Okay, Oh my gosh, what up?

I'm gonna say, cooks and comeslots, That's what I'll say.

I want to give a huge shout out to the BA restaurant that I'm actually about to go to right now with one of my favorite gay men on Earth.

I have been taking really creepy men on dates there for the past few weeks as I've been experimenting with dating older and eyes and and you know what, none of them have judged me.

None of you have looked at me weird.

You guys have pretended like it's completely normal for me to be doing that.

And I really appreciate you letting me do that in the nice the corner booth that I like, so that they know that I'm hiding them from the rest of the public, but never from you guys.

I wish this was a joke.

This is not a joke.

This is something I've done three times now and I'm kind of waiting for you guys to ask if you know you're concerned about me bringing all these old men into the restaurant.

But that's fine, thank you for not judging me, and I'll see you in like twenty minutes because I'm so.

Who wow, you're really going to throw them off by bringing a presumably younger gig guy after they're used to you bringing older guys.

Well and see this one.

So most of the gay guys that I hang out with as friends are all kind of toppy, so you always think they're my boyfriend, which I love that too, you know, so just kind of confuse the nasis.

They never they just think I'm a whore, you know, which is I love that you're.

A kind of a fag hag with a type like you're like only tops.

Yeah, no fans, no bottoms.

Just sorry, sorry, Well it's not that it's that I twinks like little like the bottomy, like the little I don't I get into trouble with them, like those are the ones that I end up like, I'm in a strange call.

We're going seventy miles an hour.

I don't know what city I'm in.

You know what I mean like, yeah, I don't know, they're riskier.

They're risks and you need some.

You're looking for stability.

Yeah, that's where all of like bad girl culture has gone is too twink bottoms.

It's totally they're insane.

Those guys there that I got.

Me and my top got invited to a penthouse the other day to watch twelve rich twinks fight each other.

It was crazy.

It was really like, that's not what they told us.

But they were like, we're going to bring you back and make you martinis.

And they did, and they just argued for three hours.

Didn't offer me any cocaine or anything, not that I was going to ask, but I was like, I know, you have some.

And then we just left and they didn't care.

It was very weird.

That sounds weird as hell.

Well, I'm addicted to your life.

It sounds amazing.

Yeah, and we're going to book our flights soon and then you're going to take us out and I can't wait to go to the goth club.

Oh, you'll be so disappointed by this city.

You're gonna love it.

Beautiful.

Well, kay, please tell everyone where they can find you.

Oh, you can find me everywhere you can find me on TikTok Instagram YouTube substack around the corner from your house looking in your windows.

Yeah, just look outside period.

Well this is a delight.

Thanks for doing it.

It was really fun.

Okay, bye, amazing bye podcast and now want more.

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Stradia Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.

Created and hosted by George Severies and Sam Taggart.

Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Sony and Olivia Aguilar.

Co produced by by Wang, edited.

And engineered by Adam Avalos.

Artwork by Michael Failes and Matt Grugg.

Theme music by Ben Kling.