Boody who.

This is George with a very special announcement.

First of all, my debut stand up comedy special is coming out officially on December second.

It will be available to rent or purchase on Amazon and Apple and various other websites.

But that is not what I'm here to announce, because it is not available yet.

I am merely saying that because I wanted to tell everyone that I am having a big special release show at the Bellhouse in Brooklyn, New York on December third.

That is the day after the special comes out, So come to the Bellhouse, come celebrate.

It will be a big show.

It'll be like a George and Friends style show with some extra special guests and surprises.

And if you buy tickets now then you won't have to buy them later when I announced the lineup publicly, so.

You heard it here.

First, Bellhouse, December third, Special Release Georgian Friends show.

And then the second thing is that Sam and I are doing a sort of last minute kind of industry adjacent show, a special edition Stradio Lab Live at on Air Fest in Los Angeles on November eleventh.

It is a podcast festival and there are a few tickets set aside for sort of the ga general admission crowd.

If you don't professionally work in podcasting, you can still see us do our thing.

So in conclusion, come to my special release show at the Bellhouse in Brooklyn on December third, and if you're in LA, come see us at on AirFest on November eleventh.

The tickets for that are on the Bellhouse website, on my link tree on the Stradia lablink tree.

Honey, if you look for them, y'all find them.

Enjoy.

The showcast starts now.

Welcome to zoron Mamdani's New York City.

We did it, We did it.

We are recording mirror twenty hours after the were called.

I don't I don't know how to keep time, much like our guests, but I can already feel the energy in the city changing.

I'm already not paying for the bus.

I don't think it's officially free yet, but I didn't pay today when I board it.

The energy is absolutely electric.

I will say I flew in yesterday.

Last night.

I got in, and I tell you I was pretty fake.

I was faking it.

Everyone around me was like WHOA, and I was sort of like, yeah, I've been here.

The whole time too, you know what I mean.

Like I was like, yeah, I felt like a bit of a fake fan.

I know, it's crazy that you left New York during the one exciting thing that happened.

I know, it so messed up.

Well, you know, as someone who's been here the whole time, I can tell you the city's completely different.

Like I said, I'm not paying for the bus.

I had a child yesterday.

Again the way I dropped it off just at city Hall.

I said, they'll figure it out.

They said, free childcare.

I dropped it off in my car that was giving to me by state.

Amaze.

I got a VW bug and I dropped the baby off.

I went to you know, you're allowed to do just a twenty four hour clubbing under the Zone administration, so you can have a baby.

The state takes care of it and then you just go clubbing.

Yeah.

I actually went to get a sandwich today and they were like, that'll be twenty three dollars and I was like, no, not in mine.

You haven't read the New York Hoast yet, it seem bring it back down to twelve.

Down to twelve and what else am I doing?

I am, Oh, I'm not paying rent yay, because did you know freezing the right means you just don't.

Have to pay it anymore.

That's amazing.

So anyway, I'm very excited.

I felt very invigorating to cast my ballot, and needless to say, I'm excited for him to be completely worn down by the machine and approximately three weeks.

I know that's the whole thing.

Though, I'm kind of excited.

It's like fun.

It's like watching The Joker.

You're like, let's see how someone goes from happy and good to like Saturday.

Do you feel like you're like the only person on earth who hasn't met him?

You know?

On a yeah, it kind of felt like when like someone famous dies and everyone has the picture with them.

I would even go so far as to say, so his whole thing is that he did a really good job of meeting so many people and walking up and down Manhattan whatever.

But at one point it sort of cheapened it where I was like, okay, so he'll just say yes to the opening of an envelope.

Like why has he met literally the jerem O Harris, he's a.

Jerem O Harrison politics, why has he not?

And shout out to your friend Jeremy.

But why has he not?

Why has he met comedians?

And yes, comedians, we know that I've been on TV, but even ones that haven't.

He was at Bellhouse with Mary Beth.

Yes, and Mary be thankfully has been on TV since then, so that's okay, But at the time, actually she haven't been on television.

I'm seeking people who have been on television.

I just want to say we are.

Literally I'm I'm I'm so excited for this guest.

I can't wait.

I think to me, I'm like generational talent, Like I'm like, this is our next Lisa Gutro.

Thank you, so please welcome Ivy woke.

Okay, So, Ivy, how does it feel to be a generationally gifted comedic actress?

It feels really great.

I'm constantly employed because nobody'd be doing it like me.

So, uh, you know, that's money in my pocket.

I'm happy.

I'm smiling.

Bought these glasses for thirty dollars.

I reallys z any optical.

My name is scripted on the side.

I saw that and I said, that's did you pay extra for that?

It was about two dollars extra.

Oh my god, it's real.

Still well, Luckily your name is very short, so you didn't.

Have to pay too much.

It was it was fifty cents per letter.

Yeah, I feel great.

I feel great about my life.

I feel very good and I'm not addicted to zenx anymore.

So things are great.

And do you add live on set?

Yeah?

Yeah, But I feel like when I'm working, I actually get mad quiet because the thing is like, unfortunately I am like supremely gifted, but uh, the entire filmmaking process to me is just so tedious and at times really annoying.

This is what people don't tell you.

And I'm semi intentionally they might not intentionally.

Have not done a lot of acting in my life, mostly because I'm not very good at it.

I'm gonna say not intentionally.

You're gonna say not intentionally, Yeah, Okay, I'm.

Saying if somebody were like, hey, George, guess what you get to be?

If someone offered me, sure, But I'm saying I'm not hitting the pavement and auditioning.

It's not a priority for me.

No whereas I am, for example, getting rejected from writers' rooms.

Oh, that is something that I would say is non intentional that I'm.

Not It's an accident.

Yeah, acting is like completely I find it completely exhausting and irritating, and it's like you have to, you know, stop everything that you're doing if a plane is overhead, and it's like, well, I actually want to get off work before the grocery store closes.

It's all I have is a single pork chop in My Friends show, No, when people.

Would get mad that there was like a coffee cup in a Game of Thrones, still, I'd be.

Like, you don't even know how hard it is.

We know there's not out something of that scope and caliber.

It's like, leave the cup in.

Leave the cup.

So we are recording while all the terrible reviews of that Ryan Murphy Shore coming out.

I watched the last episode last night.

Okay, we need to talk about it.

I haven't watched it yet, but I'm kind of like, obviously, yes, I believe that it's bad, but I'm a little bit like you guys don't know how many people worked in order for that to look even as good as it does.

The costume department.

Alone, niss Nash is like in a trench, which you know, I like to see Nissie in a trench.

To me, NISI Nash.

I've always said is like I would say, top five comedic.

Actors of all times?

Oh, I fully like I think it's uh Julia, Louis dreyf Is, Lisa Kudron.

Wendy McClendon Covey and when they maximize their joints Lay on the HBO show Getting on m I was shaking King Krakowski, Jane Krakowski.

Ivy Ivy Wolk.

Yeah, yeah, Jo.

But I love Jin Grofflo obviously, but I'm talking like precise surgical comedy of the type that like Jan Krokowski does.

Yeah, it's very difficult to find.

Yeah, who is your.

Biggest comedic actor inspiration?

Oh my god?

I mean I feel like I look for it everywhere.

I just like in everything that I watch.

I'm really because they're the types of roles I play are like character parts.

I'm always looking for, Like who's playing funny waitress number three?

You know who, Like at the end of the movie, like when the credits are rolling really fast because it's like, let everybody get out of the theater.

We have seats to clean, I'm like, Okay, who was silly bell Hop?

You know?

And that's always who I'm tuning in for it's always just whoever makes up the ensemble, like just a cog in the bigger machine, because I feel like when I'm acting, it's like I know, like what my utility is like, at least thus far in my career, is like I am the character that says the chaotic, annoying things that makes the other characters look more like the hero, so that people can root for them, root against me, and then that propels their narrative.

And so I'm always looking out for who else is doing stuff like that.

Yeah, and there's very few people of my generation that fill the niche that I do.

You know, what I think you're doing is actually taking jobs from gay men, because well you're playing kind of traditionally.

It would be like oh, honey, those shoes, Like that's what I'm doing.

I'm the new old honey those shoes.

Yeah.

Yet also like an even more depraved like sort of like a gay guy coming out of the club, foam foaming out of his mouth, being like on drugs, just being like, oh, that's going on over it, hair, what's that?

Yeah?

I can see you playing like an assistant.

It'd be sort of gay assistant where they're like, oh, that on my desk my Monday, and you're like, yeah, no, And I have.

Played I've played an assistant, I've played a candy shop employee.

I've played a hotel clerk.

I've played a high school student.

Mean high school student who's mean to gay guys.

Yes, that's nice, but also nice to other gay guys, nice other gig guys, guys against each other.

Yes, So my utility in this industry is sort of to pit gay men against each other and to just sit back and watch with a little smirk on my face and a bang just like kind of floating in the wind.

And that's kind of that's that's my specialty.

When did you commit to the bank?

I have had banks since I was I think four years old.

Four years old.

Wow, yeah, that's amazing.

And did it change your life immediately?

Yeah?

Yeah, definitely.

Yeah.

I started getting you know a lot of people questioning my mother as to what my chromosomes.

Were because of the bangs.

Yeah, definitely.

I mean I once did a show where yeah, or you know, when I when.

I see a little baby, when I see a little baby with bangs, I say, sorry, is that baby genderqueer?

No?

Exactly, Those are the allegations that have been thrust upon me since I was very young, especially because I did grow up during roller Derby, so I was already you grew doing I did roller Derby from the time I would eight years old to thirteen.

Did the bangs come before or after the roller Derby honey?

During?

Oh got her?

Interesting?

Well it was before I had I had bangs before, they only got shorter during and then post.

There was a roller derby league for children.

Oh yeah, I'm from Los Angeles, California.

A bitch.

Oh it's different over there.

Casting bring me people who were on a roller derby team when they were eight years old?

No, literally, need the film?

No literally.

And what's really surprising about roller Derby is that most of the girls that I grew up with doing ruler Derby are not lesbians today.

Well, yeah, that's that's the LA, right.

It's like, if you're in LA, you don't have to be a lesbian.

No exactly, And that's very dark and sad to me.

Yeah, which not being a lesbian is very hard and sad because here's the thing, It's like, I don't really have that many like straight up lesbians in my life these days.

Really when I do link with the squad of lesbians, I leave there like literally feeling like I'm ready to grow my bush down to my ankles and like like Lilith fair myself into like a field of wheeds.

You know, it's really empowering, like hearing like a butch, a butch dyke be like, you know, I just love eating pussy no matter what way it's thrown at me.

That's just like, that's so it feels so transformative.

When you are around a group of lesbians, you just sort of remember that it is okay to be comfortable with yourself.

Yes, And then when you leave, you're like, this could honestly, I actually need to unlearn that because who knows.

What who what the I could do?

Yes, if I only let myself go, like we're talking, I could suddenly start like raising ferrets in the woods.

Yeah, it's scary.

If you listen to a Judith Butler, ass ho, you're gonna end up with like a cage of weasels in the back of your van selling them on the side of the highway, being like this this little Jimmy, take him for a spin for me.

Yeah.

No, the mutual aid is going to be suffocating.

Yeah, it's gonna You're going.

To live in an environment of I'm paying everybody's complete abundance.

I'm paying everybody.

You're in debt.

Yeah, Chase is calling you every day.

They're saying where is the money?

And I said, I had to pay Tiffany's water bill.

Yeah, we fucked one time ten years ago.

I owe her for the rest of my life.

She made me come with my legs up.

That's what would happen if I was a lesbian.

I would get into deep shit of.

My landlord is, of course lesbian, as many know, And sometimes when I pay her rent, I'm like, it's crazy that you're like still accepting this.

Right, if your landlord is a lesbian and you pay rent, that's mutual aid, right.

And also maybe the landlordism undos the lesbianism.

Oh yeah, she comes in, it renders her by maybe totally.

Yeah, So it.

Renders her by because she's a capitalist and a dike, and so it just renders her.

I always to just be like, don't worry about it this month, Like I just want I really expect that half the time.

Yeah, so far not the case.

Not the case.

Well, that's because I feel like, I don't know, gay guys will always be a cut above a lesbian in terms of like the society sure of power.

You know.

Well, that's the other thing is that as a gay guy working in entertainment, you're in fact redistributing wealth by paying.

No, that's a lesbian that owns an RV and I'm not.

That's not some joke I'm making.

She literally yeah, and it is regularly parked outside your home.

That's so awesome.

Does it ever block like the door, the passageway.

No, she's very respectful about not blocking them.

That's one the ways.

Speaking of lesbian I'm taking off my supreme flannel.

R Oh my god, that's supreme.

Yeah, it's very warm.

You can feel the inside its fleece is actually quite Oh, I believe it must have come from a real animal.

Well, let's hope, so I believe it.

I mean the science they would have to invent to make that out of fake animal is.

Oh, they have the science.

You believe they have the science.

I believe they have the science.

Scientists can do a lot of crazy stuff these days.

That's actually very true.

In this house.

We believe science is real.

In this house.

What does what does the rest of the sign say, It's like in this house.

Kamala is boots, Cheney, Cheney is Bay.

Bipartisanship never sinks is tea?

By partisanship is tea.

Parker glasses or cunts skinny scarves are mama and having having a sale.

My mother will never come out from underneath how much she wracked up in J Crew credit cards for my childhood.

I had a Crew is literally like a predatory lender, I would say for suburban white.

Mons, Oh my god, literally.

On trial, like boost mobile is a.

Cashmere sweater, like literally is a noose for a white woman.

The Kashmere sales happening at JA Crew, I don't know how, but somehow they trick you into thinking it's cheap, but then you're like paying it on Klarna for well, it's.

They make it out of fur from missing people.

So like that meme that's like Rby's steak nuggets, like a whole like twenty five piece steak nugget for two ninety nine, Like that's missing people.

We're not talking about how the fur that's the hair of missing people.

When I worked at the Upper east Side J Crew and oh, moms would come in like.

That's head right there.

Even that it was.

Tough, like they'd come in and buy a cashmere in every size just in case.

Yeah, and it was like a cash stop.

You no for Upper East Side moms.

Cashmere is kind of like when you go to buy groceries and you're like, I can't remember if we have red wine vinegar at home, I'll just get one, yes, or like I can't remember if we have whole grain mustard at home, I'll just get one whenever it's like seven dollars that you chew the mustard that you chew of course, yum yum, yum, tom tom chomp.

And so they're every day they're going to the G crew.

They're saying, whatever, I'll buy two, I'll buy a lavender.

Well, and you need one for the for the house and the side one.

House.

When I was in the lobby over there, I was overhearing a conversation between two women, one of whom said, yeah, I love the Hamptons.

My in laws have a house there, so we're there all the time, and you're there every weekend.

Yes, And then the other woman went, yes, I am.

And I was just thinking, like in Zorn's America, sorry, y'all gonna get shot point blank, like it's literally over for you.

Okay, there's gonna be strangling with the kashmir with Yeah, like.

I'm taking your Kashmir off of you, revealing your tits in your nice bra, your nice department store bra, and then I'm taking it and I'm choking you the fuck out and you're gonna collapse.

Mid television ABC seven.

Yeah, this is this is by the Way Network show.

They're going to hire you a character actress and Indie Darling Ivy will to assassinate Wealthy Way.

Murphy's gonna ep and he's doing hair.

Yeah, he's gonna make sure that the hair.

Is look amazing, amazing.

But then they will be dead.

Then they will be dead because they talk about the Hampton's, you know, outwardly in you know this in this new era of burk no panties on.

Sorry, what I've been hearing so many people like I literally was just yesterday I was in Washington Heights and I heard like an older man on the phone saying over and over again, well, you know, it's a Muslim state.

If he wins, it's a Muslim state.

And it's like, oh, people actually believe like it's gonna be girls in Bushwick full burk and no panties on pushing the thong to the side at moon Ring, like this is what people think is going to happen.

It's like, no, we're just gonna be able to have cheaper sandwiches.

Like you said, people are very confused.

Yes, they're very confused.

Yeah, they're like it's radical Islam, but it's also.

They them yes, and it's like, well, I mean people have done it well.

Of course, people we know have.

People we hold near pop.

I don't think institutionally it's going to be implemented, No, I don't think so.

I think people are going sort of Steffan mode and they're like.

Burke is at the club.

They them's on wheelchairs.

Yeah.

New York's hottest club is the Mosque, Like actually New York's hottest club is, well, is there a hot club right now?

What's hot right now?

Because I've been seeing my trans girlfriends like on Twitter being like knockdown Center's corny by the way.

Completely okay, people I know that went to the Amra show where like this is not it?

So what is fun to go to?

It's impossible.

I mean I'm luckily I have out of like I haven't been.

Here underground raves.

But how do you find a fucking underground race?

Where do you?

Where do you go to find it?

I just you come on a gay podcast, then you and you say into an iHeart podcast, Mike, you say, where do I find it?

Underground?

Right?

Underground ray and then they'll find you.

Okay, comment below?

Will I get like a d M.

And they're going to be sexist?

Okay, that's fine, that's okay, that's okay.

So it's actually such a relief to know that, like Knockdown Center is over, and like hopefully that means basement also because like I've.

Actually never basement is not you think basement sucks.

But.

You're like swagging.

You have a tooth gem, So I feel like you would think that literally anything is quiet.

Our producer has a tooth gem and they think basement sucks.

How that ma you feel your bangs are being held back by a bobby pin, like you're mad Swag, So like I think that you would find anything corny and abhorrence.

Well, we are in a sort of awkward moment right now, and I mean the three of us, and that like we're on camera, but our producer off camera looks cooler than us, and that can kind of throw off the dynamics in a big way.

I can throw you off.

Yeah, I can throw you off for sure.

But yeah, thank you.

I just want to say thank you for vape, like I did mean to ask, can I do this in this small room?

Huh?

And I just did it anyways arounds America.

America, that's cool.

I vapor on the train, Government save the plane.

I vape on the bus.

I vaped at my grandpa's funeral.

I vaped at my friend's funeral.

I take it everywhere.

I'm real hardcore about this ship.

You guys, if you want to if if Zoran does anything for vape, you know what he should do.

Actually, at the city owned grocery stores, with the grocerries are cheaper, there should be vapes in the checkout line.

This should be ten dollars.

How much is it thirty?

WHOA?

I know, I know, I know crazy, No, I know there ringing me out.

Don't they know you're an artist?

No?

Literally, don't they know what I mean?

You're in an Academy Award winning film.

Right, and so I should just pay I should just pay right.

I don't like how industrial this looks.

The vape you're holding.

It's like so giant.

It's black and silver, like what happened to cute little vapes that had like a little ombray that went some yellow to blue.

It's geek, bar bar, what the hell?

That's tough.

It's for nerds.

Bitch.

Oh my god, it lights up.

Whoa, that's crazy.

The night sky show you the world.

You're dying in slow motion in front of us.

I think that should be fifty dollars.

You think there should be fifty dollars?

Should Oh I'm going to jail.

I think it should be fifty dollars.

You pay, you don't get to keep the money.

You're immediately arrested.

Okay, well I'm an abolitionist, so.

That doesn't matter when they're coming to arrestue.

Do you think when a police officer comes and it's like you're under arrest, you can just respond.

I'm actually an abolitionist.

Actually, like I have read excerpts of Angela Davis during twenty twenty, So don't send me to jail.

You're on some function.

I don't believe in this.

No, literally into a place I don't believe him.

No, I wouldn't.

Exactly, you can't take me to heaven.

I'm going in the ground.

If I don't believe in God, I'm not going to heaven.

If I don't believe in prisons, I'm not going there either.

I would love the world in which you are punished based on your own moral code.

It's like they do a little brain skin and they're like, oh, got it, she is an abolitionist.

I guess we'll do community oriented uh work with.

I guess she'll have to volunteer.

And then much she's annoying, she's going to Bushwick for the rest of her life.

Exactly.

Be careful what you wish for.

Yeah, be careful.

Yeah, she's going to basement.

And you have to be at every show no earplugs.

Oh by the booth.

Oh, and you have to know who do you have.

To be in the dark room while all these gay men are fornicating around.

I would actually be really happy.

Just handing out juice boxes.

I would be really happy.

Actually, yeah, that's nice.

I think gay sex is interesting.

Well yes, compared to the alternative, for sure, But.

You know, the way it happens is just it's curious.

To me.

I had to I recently had to just reveal to my straight male best friend who is thirty years of age and had went his whole life not knowing that gay guys can have sex like not from just behind.

He didn't know that gay guys can do missionary.

I was like, just hoist and this is a guy who's been pegged by the way in missionary And he was like, no, no, but for gay guys it's ergonomically different.

No, I'm sorry, this is crazy.

I know.

No, that's the crazy thing I ever heard.

It's madness.

It's madness.

But so Uran will educate the youth.

He's not young, he's there.

Do you think Zoron has been pegged?

I think no.

I think no.

I think no.

Actually I think no, because when he smiles, I believe it.

Yeah, And I think when a guy who's pegged, most men I know that have been pegged kind of carry the weight to the world on their shoulders, like the strap really took something from them as it went in, it took something out, you know, with every thrust it removed a little emblem of the soul.

And so I don't think Soaron has been pegged.

His wife is beautiful.

I mean, we have the first egirl first lady.

I know, it's kind of amazing.

It's huge for me.

It's amazing that our first ladies went from lesbian to nobody to art school girl.

Yeah.

You kind of start to realize, like, Okay, this is why the chidwife movement is growing, right, right, this is what they're responding, right.

They're resisting against.

Yeah, the establishment.

Everyone is just craving Laura Bush.

They're like, bring back Laura Bus.

We need something we need.

Yeah, that's what it always is, right right.

Yeah, but I'm excited about the egirl first lady.

They're going to hit you up for a position of some kind in.

The in the in the administration, in the administration, Yeah, in the cabinet, even though the transition team potentially, which is more.

I'd be the czar to good vibes in a fun time with friends.

Yeah, I'm actually the zo run Mom Donnie tzar to good times and having fun and smiles with friends.

Okay, cool, And everybody is like.

Oh cool, Yeah, I'm the tzar of like letting for know what they need to bring.

Yeah.

When people on Twitter are like, what would your position be in the communist revolution, Like I think I would be like the basket weaver.

It's like, uh, you're gonna be in the rubble a million pieces of skin because you're gonna get blown to bits.

That's what's gonna happen to you when the revolution comes.

Some of y'all are not gonna survive me personally.

I know I'm not built for it.

I Celiac disease.

You know, if the revolution comes and I can't, you know, boil potatoes and eat them raw, like it's just it's just not.

No, you're gonna be going around with a little sticker that says, GF.

Who's gonna accommodate that?

Exactly?

I can't eat canned beans when the revolution comes, I'm gonna be shitting.

They leave you behind if you shitting' that's.

How war goes.

You get left behind if you ship.

If you have ship allegations on you during the revolution, sorry, point blank in the forehead, you're under the ground.

Yeah.

No, the millennial Army is going to be like I'm not beating the ship allegations.

I hear they're gonna.

Kill yes, yes, Like so if evolution really does come, like sorry, there will be no more front facing reels from me.

You know that's not a position in the militia.

Wow, that I'm.

Over and I'm accepting that.

I'm saying it on camera here.

Yeah, I'm addressing this my camera.

Yes, yeah, you can kill me, it's okay.

If the revolution comes, I won't stand.

And I know if a race war comes, it's over too.

Well, where would you fit in there?

Where would I fit in the race war?

Yeah?

Right, because I do like to keep it ambiguous.

Well, I'm sort of like if there was a race war, I would hope you wouldn't just like mindlessly be on the white side.

And I can't be on the juice side either, because of you know how things are going there lately.

Right, you know, not for me, that's not our story to tell.

It's no how many sides during this race war.

In the race war, honey, it's infinite, honey, it's a very progression exists on a million axes.

Honey.

When the race war comes, we're delegating, We're we're finding ours.

It's an intersectional race wark.

You know, there's actually so many factions that it's just one man, each man for.

Himself, No exactly, because everybody it's gonna be state mandated twenty three and meters before you enlist, swab the cheek, whatever your exact percentages are, that's who you're fighting for.

Of course, everybody's different, so it's just gonna be every it's gonna be a bit just slap boxing each other all up and down the street.

I'm not gonna survive.

That's not okay for me.

Don't you think you could use some of that charm and you know, talk your way into surviving.

Honey, to what end?

I know, Yeah, it's like you win and then congratulations, it's just you and a bunch of Italians.

Right, No, right, right?

And then what I'm getting raped all the time?

Oh my god, sorry, oh my god.

The Italian community, the Italian American community.

Everything that has been said.

In this episode, the Italian American community.

I'm sorry.

You can watch ivy on English Teacher and Laura.

If I had like, they'd kick you.

It's really bad for me to be on the mic.

No, it's crazy.

It's interesting.

I'm seeing it.

I'm seeing it happen in real time.

I'm like, you can't control yourself.

So what's like can you tell me like sort of what's the deal like with what so, like I want to know about like internet backlash.

No, Sam, I want to know.

I want to know because you were like you were like not beating the allegations when you were like talking about like being canceled or whatever.

Yeah, I don't beat the allegations.

So I just lean into the I lean in.

Okay, It's it's fine to talk about Italians.

Can we talk about light still, of course?

Can we talk about how we met?

How did we meet?

Was it versus that audition one of the craziest days of my life?

Yeah?

Wow, Yeah?

Have I told you this?

No?

Okay, So we were called into audition for an sketch group sponsored sketch group.

He was not directing it.

No, It was the only boy that he enlisted, and it was a sketch comedy group that was supposed to be political sketchu.

It was supposed to be leftist political sketch comedy.

And he was like, we're going to like fight the power via sketch comedy, something that the tank, the tank, something that has always worked in the past.

Yes, And our audition was that we had to do a rant, a political rant, but make it kind of entertaining.

Whatever and some people shed tears.

No, there were people.

It was actually one of.

Them incensed and I rate and they did cry.

They cried.

Somebody talked about Governor Greg Abbott.

The lady cried.

You know.

One girl did like a rant about the governor of Texas because I think maybe she was from Texas or something or had some affiliation with Texas.

And by the end of it, the end of her five minutes, when that timer went off, she's crying.

She was one of the most hot.

It was one of the darkest things I've ever witnessed.

Because basically the prompt was commodify your pain in ninety seconds, yes.

And specifically your It was supposed to be like a personal.

Yes, a political or like global gripe that you have something that's like weighing heavy on your spear, talk about it in like ninety seconds to five minutes, and address it to camera in group a U shaped group of improvisers.

It can be Obviously, tying it to your lived, experienced or identity makes it more powerful because it's more personal, Like mine was not tied to my experience in any way.

But you were like Greek.

No mine was it used to be.

I actually remember what mine was.

And by the way, spoiler alert, I was cast and I was not.

Well, I really want to know what yours was.

Well, that's what we're building too, because it's iconic.

Okay, So mine was this felt fresh at the time I promised, this was like three years ago.

Mine was about how I didn't like how everything in these times is called content.

Like I was like, by calling things content, you're sort of like using the language of advertising in a cheapen's art obviously, you know, literally giant jerk off motion.

But I knew it was going to hit, you know what I mean.

So that was my rant.

Everyone everyone is talking about, people are talking about, you know, serious issues, gay violence, gay rights, sexual assout whatever.

The white guy with long hair and like half length sock started crying.

But I want you to because this was an a star is Born moment for you in my mind, Like I was like, I cannot believe this bitch cut out of her seat, went to the center stage in this basement in you know, the East village.

Yes, And I want you to say what your rant was about.

My rant was about my roommate accusing me of using her hair straight.

No one else had done like a bit like everyone else, including me, was taking it seriously and sort of like making it their own.

I got up there and I said, I know this is gonna sound meritricious and vapid to some of you, but my roommate recently accused me of using her hair straightener when she wasn't home, and I need to talk about it.

And so for five minutes, I just talked about how much I hated her, and everybody was kind of like slack jawn, expecting me at one point to start being like and the government's I had to go away my mother's food stamps.

And I didn't say any such thing.

I was just like, she's a bit she wishes she was born British, but she's not, and every day she like walks in the pain of that she.

Wish she was born British.

Yeah.

No, it was like personal attacks against the against my roommate from when I was I was eighteen years old.

At the time, I was eighteen years old in that I had moved to New York the week before.

Wow, it was it was one weekend.

I was congrats on getting that audition she cut.

I know, not a lot of eighteen year olds were there.

No, it was it was you know, elders.

It was like it was a lot of queer elders in that room.

I would say yeah, And then I was like taking this subway back to Brooklyn after the audition with a bunch of people, and I was like asking everybody.

I was like, so, what's like your guys's deals And they were like, well, I'm thirty six.

I run a monthly at bell House.

And I was like, oh cool, Like I'm eighteen, and like I was a child actor and now I'm in New York and I'm thinking about getting addicted to pills.

So that was my story and then I didn't get the job at all.

I'm glad you're saying all this because I had this whole time.

I have been sort of like, what's your backstory?

What's my backstory?

You've been an actres since you were what thirteen thirteen?

Thirteen years old?

Yeah?

Like what kind of stuff?

What kind of stuff?

I was on a sitcom run by a gay guy, literally gay guys, A predicted toy to putting me in a sitcom.

What was it?

Sitcom comet.

It was called Everything's Going to Be Okay.

It was on Free Form, which was like a Disney subsidiary and doesn't really exist anymore.

It was ABC Family where they did the like Christmas movie marathons.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I remember a free Form Yeah, I had not younger.

What was the other one?

Did they have?

The one about the women's magazine on free Form?

Yes, the bold type, the bolt type, the bolts.

A lot of people I know loved the bull type.

Yeah, people were gagging for the bull type.

Megan Fahie from White Little Oh, you know, we.

Met her once, but yeah, it was really nice.

She's an amazing talent in a glimmering, beautiful star and her face is she's so intelligent and gorgeous.

But yeah, so I was on that show when I was thirteen.

I made it one season.

I got fired for what I was posting on the Internet, and then I was unemployed for the rest of high school until I was turned eighteen.

The idea of being unemployed in highschool is obviously one of the most iconic stents I've ever heard, because guess what.

I was also.

Struggling actor in high school, auditioning five times a week and not hearing anything, and most of what I was being sent were like Christian movies for most of high school, and so I would get like in front of the camera, I'd be like, hi, Ivy willk five to two Los Angeles, But David, God's on your side.

And it was like that for years.

The phones were not ringing.

Nobody wanted me.

I literally was so like I was so unworkable that I had been fired from a job that I did have.

Like that was how much people did not want to associate.

Was there a specific posts that got you fired?

One of the they well, Freeform was creating like a dossier of basically everything that I had done on the internet that they were then you know, presenting too higher up to the network being like this is why we need to get this heeffer out of here.

One of the main things that really got me in a lot of trouble was I made a TikTok when I was like fourteen or fifteen, where I was a green screened by self, uh dancing and like stomping on top of an image of a like graveyard of a boarded babies outside of a church.

Well that's just satire, right.

But honey, when the mouse is involved, that's lost.

You know.

When when when McCard.

M Mouse is, you know, tapping his foot waiting for his morning coffee, and he's scrolling through what the interns have brought him on his desk that day.

Satire don't exist, all right.

It's literally like the goofy character from Disneyland comes to your house and knocks on the door.

You're under arrest.

No, literally, you're under arrest.

You're under arrest.

We're taking you to Bourbank and you're gonna die there.

Yeah, Like that's what happens.

We're space and then we're pressing on.

Yeah, and it's just gonna.

Space mountain seatbelt.

Yeah, forever and ever and ever, and once you once it reaches the bottom of the mountain, honey, you're going right right the other way.

Yeah.

So that's what happened to me.

And so I was like unemployed my you know, from I shot that show when I was thirteen turning fourteen, and then from fourteen years old until I was eighteen almost nineteen, I did not work.

Yeah, and then of course this amazing opportunity came up that we both auditioned for, and you were like, this is my moment to get back.

Yeah.

I was like, this is definitely what's gonna solidify my star?

Yeah, I take this seriously, my star, My star is waning.

I'm aging.

You know, as a woman in Hollywood, you aged, you age quicker, so it's like you could still play sixteen on TV.

That's true.

I just got an audition last week for Old Crone who dies of leukemia.

So you know, it's like.

I'm I I thought in Oscar Oscar, I know, so okay, we you know, we usually don't do traditional interviews about career, but I'm like loving this because I want to know.

Like, then, obviously you became an indie darling, So how did that come about?

Well, the first job, like the first like legit job that I got, uh after like my years of rest and relaxation.

Was you were in school?

Correct?

How did I do in high school?

I mean I did like online high school, and all my friends were adults in the La comedy scene.

I was like I was just like bouncing around comedy club.

This was before I even started stand up.

I was just like I was doing like you know, I would like be eighteen, like on stage at the Allegian in lingerie, drinking tequila and singing ladies who lunch like literally, that was what I was doing when I was How old were you?

How old were you when the pandemic started.

I was fifteen, Okay, so that was high school.

So you were in high school during the pandemic.

And that's why it was zoom high school.

It wasn't that it was a zoom.

I was doing high school before that, because you were a performer.

Because I was.

I was on a TV show.

I was going to a performing our high school in Los Angeles, and the like five foot lesbian who ran the school hated my guts.

Told me I had a really bad work ethic and that's why I didn't get cast in the tenth grade production of Spring Awakening.

She said, you have a terrible work ethic and you don't show up for anything.

You're like, I'm literally at Disney.

No literally, I was like, I'm literally sorry, I can't talk.

I'm on the lot right now, you know whatever.

Yeah, She's like you're not.

Yeah, You're like, I've been up since three am.

I don't care about my mutiplication table.

No, literally, So I get kicked out of the school essentially, Like they were like, either you quit acting and you stay at that high school, or we're gonna not sign your work permits anymore, and it's going to be illegal for you to have a job and go to school.

So I was kind of in like a rock and a hard place, and I just resolved to do online high school.

Then covid hit was doing online high school, and then like the world sort of opens back up.

I was like sixteen or seventeen, got a fake ID, I got a fig idea it like fifteen or sixteen, and then I was just using that to like go to the Illegion and I was like going to like, you know, Dynasty Typewriter, and I was just showing up at these places and going to like backyard shows that I would find on Instagram, and I was just like making friends people who are still my really close friends to this day.

I was just like making friends with people that I would meet at shows, and then they started putting me on their shows before I did stand up, and I was doing like sketching cabaret stuff.

And at what.

Point did you reveal to them, like, hey, by the way, I'm actually sixteen.

Like I know you're thirty and that's a your deal, but I'm actually sixteen sixteen.

The whole time.

It's hard to conceal that when, like everybody you.

Have a zoom calculusness tonight, Like I need to go first on this show.

Yeah, first of all, I'm.

Sixteen, right, It's hard to sort of conceal those things because like everybody has stories about like fucking and sucking and like doing cocaine and whatever, and I'm like on my free period, right no, And I'm like, so I live at I actually live at home with my mother right now.

You know.

It was like stuff like that.

But for some people, I like was I was eighteen, you know, And then on my ID, I was twenty three.

I bought a fake ID that was like thick as card stock from like a length that had pop ups for porn sites that I found on Reddit, and uh, the photo on my fake ID was a still image of screenshot of me in a self tape, and I put that on my selfie for a job.

I guess what did not get because again the phones weren't ringing, and I had this fake ID, and I would just show up to places and bar ha with like comics and that was like the last two years of my high school life.

Then I went to Emerson in Boston because I wasn't working, and I was like, Okay, so now my life is just going to be I'm a college student for the next four years.

I was like, I'll be a babysitter in college.

And then two months into being at school, I got like the lead in a pilot that will never see the light of day literally is under the floorboards at Amazon Prime videoot.

Yes, so that was where now and it's in theaters now go check it out.

Yeah, so that was where I met Mary.

But I did that pilot and that was like my first like real job back, like I had done jobs like like tiny things as like favors.

Like there's a Netflix movie called The Bubble directed by Judd Apatow, and I played a YouTube video on a phone in that there's no I made one hundred dollars playing a YouTube video that plays on a phone.

And then I like union rules and well, yeah, and by the way, that's sketch group.

But that's a different story.

That's a different story.

But and then I did like when I first came to New York I or to Boston for college, I uh was called to like do a sketch on the Adam Friedland Show, like when that, Yes, the Adam Friedland Show, when that was like first starting when they were had just transitioned out of Cometown and they were like trying to do video, and so I did a sketch on that where I played like a fourteen year old girl who's like sucking Adam's fingers and whatever.

And that was like, which was a real stretch for you because you were.

Fifteen and a half right exactly, And that was like amazing and awesome, and that sort of got people in New York in comedy knowing who I was.

People in LA in comedy knew who I was.

And then now I was like, you know, I was in Boston, and then that helped kind of set the groundwork for me in New York because people recognize me from that.

But then I was in college and I did that pilot, did the Adam Friedland Show whatever, Like again I was just like, my life is gonna be I graduate with a BA and I'm gonna figure out what happens next.

And then after that pilot happened, Anora happens.

I auditioned for an Aura a month after I shot that pilot, and then a month later we were shooting it, and then I dropped out of college and then I've just been working ever since.

Wow wow Yeah, and that movie won an Oscar.

I know, and I knew what was gonna happen.

That's the thing is, I literally I knew we were gonna go to can.

I knew, I knew all of this stuff.

Everybody was acting mad humble, like Sean and Mikey Madison are both like hella shy, like dorks, and they were just like, like I remember telling Mike you one day when we were we were in Vegas, like that was the last like unit of the film that we shot, was all of the Vegas sequences, and we were getting our hair done at like eleven PM, like about to go shoot like one of our last scenes.

And I like looked at her.

The hair tinsel was like being sewn under her hair, and I looked at her and I was like, do you realize that, like your entire life is going to change after this movie comes out?

And she was like, this has been a really wonderful experience, and like I'm very happy to be here and I love working on this movie, but I'm pretty sure that, like you know, my life is just gonna be like pretty normal after this, and I'm just gonna like be chill and just all I'll have to find another job eventually.

And I was like yeah, And I was like no, Mikaela, like everything from here on out is gonna be so fucking different.

I just knew these things because I think from all of my time being like technically in the entertainment industry but like not working.

Most of my friends, like before they were adults trying to make it in entertainment, were like kids I grew up with in La who had been child actors who were much more successful than me, right, And so I just got finnwolf Hard, like the Apatow daughters.

Like I just got like a sort of sense for how these things went because I was on the outside of it.

And it was like I was at the same you know, parties and functions of these people, but like I had nothing to show for it, and they were like, you know, being flown out to France to like sit in the front row at the y A Self fashion show, you know, and it was like I just I was like, well, I work.

I worked at pizza parlor at the Grove, you know, in high school, and so I was like, you.

Were unemployed, were working.

I was working, but not in the way that I wanted to work.

I was Hollywood unemployed, which is really what I mean, because I.

Don't when you're in high school and have a job.

Yes, exactly, this is so interesting.

I know, I'm obsessed.

Well, it's like I never meet people who are.

Like Jared Jared was a child star.

Yeah, Like growing up in la is such a weird experience.

And it's no way to have a family.

It's crazy.

It's like when I was grown.

When I was fifteen, I didn't know actors were like real people.

Like I was like they live in like the sky.

Like I was like, you can't as a person be that.

Yeah, I mean I was fifteen and I was like, okay, like let's break down beat for beat this like Wendy mcclennan covey performance, like that was the type of shit that I was doing, you know, And so I was just obsessed with it, and I had like a real I read Deadline every day.

I mean, I had like a very crazy you need psychoanalysis.

I know, I'm really sick.

I'm a really really sick person.

I have in a massive star tattooed on my back with you my shoulder blades, Hollywood forever incursive, like with a star encasing it Like I'm really I'm a very sick person.

So yeah, and you're sort of fetishizing.

I'm seeing you have a Courtney loved head, So you're sort of fetishizing the kind of like messy starlet.

Yes, like dripping eyeliner on the red carpet.

Yeah, because but then they yell action and she fucking.

Kill yes, and I lock the fuck in.

But the thing about me is like I was not only like you know, up against sort of corporate Hollywood powers who didn't like what I was saying, because like comedy has always like really come first for me, and like internet expression has always really come first for me.

So I was up against that.

But even before that, I was famous on the internet from the time I was like twelve or thirteen, and so I've been famous on the Internet for like a decade now, and I even then was like faced with like a lot of detractors and cancel campaigns and all these things, and so I just always had this understanding of it's like preternatural understanding of like reputation, private life, career and the confluence of the three things, and like that's really like my sort of autistic special interest, and like it's all I read about, and it's like I have posters and archival, you know, magazines and all these things all around my house of like these types of women who were like really maligned in Hollywood and in the public opinion because it was thrust upon me at such a young age, and I have been experiencing that for a really long time, and now I kind of just lean into it, Like I don't think any of the attempts to fire me or cancel me or anything made me paranoid or fearful at all, because the women that are in my personal canon of greatness are women who have faced those exact circumstances decades before it happened to me.

And so if those are the people whose.

Art I'm Megan McCain, right.

Megan McCain, Meghan Trainer, Meghan Stalter, Meghan Malalai.

Yeah, mostly just all the Meganssage.

And I'm changing my name to Megan and.

The next great for you.

But those were all the women that were the most interesting to me from the time I was a child whose star images I was always so attracted to, and when it became me it was really painful and difficult at first, but now sort of it's a thing where it's like I, in a way have become the kind of people that I have studied and obsessed over in like diva worshiped for so many years, and that is a really strange position to be in.

But I can sort of take my interiority and my feelings out of it and look at myself and my career and my public reception and my image from the same lens that I would view it for other women, and so I can kind of make myself the Diva that I worship in a way.

Sure it's project, yes, exactly.

It's so interesting you you've done something very thing where at the beginning of this was so like absurd, we're being crazy, we're being crazy.

And then when we were like okay, now we're actually gonna ask you, like a real question on your background, you went so actress saying it was like really like I'm like, I feel like I'm Zane Low all of a sudden, like it's.

Well, you're not sucking my cock under the table, so you're not saying Zane love Zaying Low would if you put the worst album of all time in front of Saying Low, He's gonna have tears cresting in his eyes.

It's gorgeous.

Yeah, oh my god, I know he likes Life of a show Girl.

I know, I know he loved Life of a Showgirl.

He's literally it's like you can see the devil horns peeking out of his skull.

Crazy.

It's well.

I mean, celebrity journalism is like a really lost art nowadays because it's all fans in front of the celebrity.

I mean, granted, it's like, would I want a Barbara Walters and Diane Sawyer making the girls cry?

No, I just.

Walters.

Barbara Walters and Dane Sawyer are both hacks, and I want that on.

It's a Nancy the.

Celebrate Barbara Walters and Diane Sawyer.

Are you fucking kidding me?

They're Nancy Grace iterations.

It's just the same thing, just blonde, cunted side part high bank spray to the high heavens and to what end?

You know, literally no, to what end?

But like you know, celebrity journalism used to be that.

I mean, I feel like, you know, Sam's allegations.

It's like Charlie Rose had a nice thing, you know, like the Black Boy.

Charlie Rose was asking good questions.

Yeah, yeah, Larry King was asking good questions.

Occasionally, I'm trying to think like who is a legitimately good because it is one of those things that like, like who's a good broadcast interviewer?

Because I do think there were actually good journalists, like if you read an old like New York profile credibly.

But on camera journalism, I mean, it's a hard thing to it's a hard thing to capture.

I've been interviewed many for many different publications by many different people.

Usually the questions that they asked me are so.

I saw a tweet this morning on my commute here saying that you're fat, nasty here to comment, and I'm like, like, I'm eighteen, like sorry, Like when I was like much younger, it was like people being like so, like, I actually saw a blog post today that said that you are racist and should be hunted with pitchforks.

I kind of agree, but I want you to tell me why you should live.

And after that the trap, yes.

Exactly, And after that it's when I wake like literally literally it's like, where's the fucking middle ground?

Because the people that are supposed to be on camera interviewing celebrities are like either it's like with a an air of irony, like I think of like you know, Adam with the Adam Friedland Show.

It's like that's a satire of like Johnny Carson or Jack Parr, like all those old shows.

But he's doing it from the lens of like it's ironic.

It's a joke.

You know, I'm gonna fuck with these people.

So either it's trolling or it's like making Billie Eilish eat hot chips until she spits in a bucket.

Well, this is the other thing.

It's like, how many more celebrities are gonna lip sync Real Housewives scenes until we're satisfied it's great.

Vertical video has done something nasty to It's our.

Fault that we don't stop clicking every time.

I'm sorry the way what are they in the in the Conde Nast basement where they do it's literally just a line of celebrities.

Their hands are tied in front of them and they're saying, Glenn close, get in that chair.

We're gonna pie you.

Yes.

No, literally, has the cherry, but also legacy media is dying, and all these things are being consolidated.

I mean even just as of this week, teen Vogue is being like all those writers are laid off.

Teen Vogue is being consolidated into just normal Vogue at Conde Nast.

It's like, so all these outlets that maybe did things that were a little more interesting or culturally frictive or skewed younger but not in a way that talk down to young people are just getting sucked up into the ether and then soon everything will be like one channel that just does tiktoks.

There's no more profiles, there's no more TV interviews.

It's just gonna be one TikTok network that all of these like like five you know, millennial reporters outsourced too, and they're just gonna be asking Malala like, hey, Malala, like do you want to hit this j with me?

And like flick up Diva?

And that's what's that's journalism.

That's flick up Diva challenge.

No, literally, Malala, can you like pull your pennies to the side and twerk on camera for me to this trending.

Audio entire and that entire multi channel, multi Channel conglomerate is run by Alex.

Cooper of No exactly exactly love that you do.

Pull your pants It's my.

Favorite thing in the whole world.

Pull your pennies, it sid is my favorite.

It's the funniest thing.

It's the funniest thing to ask somebody to do.

Not take them off, not take them off well because it's half hearted.

What's so funny to me is that it's like, we're not going to ask you to like, you know, get them around your shoes or angles.

You can still wear your shoes.

I don't have to fully come off.

Literally, the entire Conde Nast video thing is leading to Academy Award winning actresses doing the pull your panics to the side challenge, like it's literally gonna be It's literally.

Gonna be Jayla pulling her panties, be like, I hate my old persona.

Here's my pussy just to the side.

I'm eating pizza, but I used to eat too much pizza.

I'm not tripping it Polly anymore.

I'm not adorable.

Adorable's over.

But here's my pussy in the side.

And by the way, I had to access a lot of trauma for this role.

Yes, No, She's like, she's like on this press tour for this movie Die Jennifer Lawrence.

I love Lynn Ramsey showing.

Ramsey, the excellent Ramsey.

Who's somebody that literally you would.

Love Morburn Color?

Is that like one of your My first daughter will be named Morvan.

I'm I'm kidding.

I will name my first daughter after a movie wherein a girl steals her suicide boyfriend's manuscript and then just sort of goes clubbing, goes around.

It's one of those movies where somebody just goes around.

Amazing.

Love that love a movie that's like almost to pic arasque, but she's not really traveling.

I would be more color for Halloween.

That'd be a great costume for just.

Me, a ponytail.

Ponytail.

Everybody's like, who are you.

I'm like, I'm Morvering Calor.

Yeah, I'm just kind of like sort of on.

Drugs and Halloween.

I went as Best from Breaking the Waves and everybody's like, who are you sure?

I was like, I'm Best from Lars Bunchers Breaking the Waves and they're like, are you speaking Vietnamese right now?

Like, no, it's all English.

Actually, it's hard out here for a pimp, I'll say, do.

We want to even like straight?

Yeah, So you're catching us in a sort of a weird time because Samini, if you don't mind me saying that, we're sort of being like, how much do we want to keep doing all our segments and how much you want to keep just like one segment and then a straight topic.

But like we've been enjoying so much like gabbing with people, and it feels like we're cutting the momentum when we're like, and now our first segment, right, and so we're kind of like.

Well, you'll probably have to cut out so much.

Of this do I have straight?

Shoot me too?

Episode will be thirty minutes either way, since you'll have to cut out my whole thing where I called Italians rapists and like just all of Oh.

No, that's the that's the real, Okay, that's going viral on tiktoks.

We're doing our first segment.

It's called Street Shooters, and in this segment, we're going to ask you a series of rapid fire questions.

Is basically this thing or this other thing.

The only rule is you can't ask a single fle up question or we will scream at you.

Okay, ready.

We will make it so you're unemployed for the rest of your life.

Being radicalized online or being authorized to commit a crime.

Authorized to commit a crime, the.

Secret life of Walter Mitty or the Secret lives of Mormon.

Wives, sialized of Mormon Wives, sending a meme on Slack, or loving the team at Hacks.

Loving the team at hacks.

Cast me a New York state of mind or a true dorc on love is.

Blind, a New York state of mind, living out or getting.

Gout Living out, I got catt eye glasses, living out, rip.

Dick Cheney or pee on me, Miss Janny.

That's Alison Janney.

Yeah, ye on me, Miss Janny.

She's in the case the top five.

Yeah, that's Allison's in the top five.

We need to Yeah, okay, I want to swing from the chandelier.

Sorry, yes, I want to swing from the chandelier.

Or I have a thing for that engineer, swing from the chandelier.

Meeting on Tinder or screaming you center you sir, Wow, beautiful word.

We rank our guest performance on a scale of zero to one thousand doves.

That is named after the Lady Gaga song one thousand Doves from the album Chromatica.

And I am going to.

Say that Ivy gets eight sixty nine.

I think that's correct.

That's high.

That's like a bee, right, that's like a US.

Oh well yeah, you answered with a lot of confidence and speed.

You recognized it.

It was a fast segment.

You said, let's move on.

Yeah, you're like, I did have a few asides and for that, I'm sorry.

But no, no, no, you did a really good job.

Okay, okay, well we have approximately thirty five seconds.

So what is your straight topic and what's straight about it?

My straight topic is being straight back acting hella d L.

So that's my straight topic.

It's when guys act mad coy when it comes to pussy dude, like we're not, you know, fucking each other in the button the Ramble in nineteen eighty, like, come on, let's let's get serious, like when straight when straight guys do a sneaky link type of thing, when straight guys like pocket pussy or like hide a bitch.

It's so it's part of why people are mad at you because you speak like this sometimes.

Yeah sure, okay, I guess so, yeah, sure, you know when straight guys do When straight guys act like DL gay guys sure.

Like about high women hiding their relationships with women, yes, keeping them secretly.

Because it's like you have what are Who's gonna who's gonna kill you, who's gonna hurt you, who's gonna penalize you, who will criminalize you for just popping out with a bit dare dare to pop out with the female.

You know, it's like when guys act like I can't let my like when guys are like I can't let my wife know I'm gay, It's like, well, you're not gay and you don't have a wife.

This is we met on hinge.

You know you're saying that.

I would say it's like the the famous habits of noncommittal men.

Just like this lack of commitment actually has the same and as.

Being DL gay.

This is genius, Like it really is true.

It's like guys that either don't want to commit or are sort of like soft half lying to three women, not fully lying.

They're not cheating, but they're kind of like concealing, concealing and not being fully honest.

That is the same behavior as someone who is like has a wife and is going and getting absolutely fucked.

Yes, yes, is there anything sort of erotic and hot about being kept a secret, like not to me, not to me.

And you know why because it's happened to me literally in almost every relationship I've ever been in, probably because I talk the way that I do and I'm also like Loki famous, and so it's like popping out with me at your friend's birthday party.

It's like bringing chuck e Cheese to Kiev.

It's crazy.

So it's just like, well, like why is the cartoon in the scary place?

You know?

So you're saying, but do you not think that they also are like kind of gagged that they're bringing the cartoon to this.

You need a straight guy who has only gay guy friends.

You need a straight guy that's standing you in a sort of Lady Gaga way.

And it's like this is the this is Ivy Woke from Anora.

The Dynamics and all of my relationships with men and the one woman that I had a relationship with where basically they idolized me and it was like it was diva worship, but in a way that brought them great shame because then they realized they would never be able to match my starf Okay, here's.

What it is.

It's diva worship, but the diva is Nicki Minaj, so they're like.

Yes, sort of embarrassing.

It's sort of like obviously I'm a barb, like I love Nicki Minaj, but yes, I don't agree with like what you just said on Twitter about COVID.

Yeah.

No, and the baggage of that is actually like stopping me from just going to this house.

Yes, no, exactly.

It's it's diva worship that sort of brings shame upon your family.

Problem.

That's really it's.

Problematic diva worship.

It's like if Joy Behar is your queen, you know, and it's kind of like everybody's like, why is Joy Bayhart or your queen?

Yeah, and you have to be like, I like fucking her, you know.

Yeah.

That's kind of the classic dynamic that I'm in.

And it's just it's so it's so trite and born.

Well, I have to ask it's still in Ga Ga Nacho's and Valor because it's like gig guys should be the only ones.

I mean, I don't think GI guys should be DL because I think gig guy should be gay.

Yeah, that's maybe really brave for me to say but I think gig I should be allowed to be gay.

I think they can should be able to choose.

Sam likes that when they're DL.

Oh yeah, no.

Let's close it.

So you need to go to like Minnesota, and then you open an app and everyone is like hidden in secret.

I'm like, now there's some mystery.

Right, but I don't like mystery.

I'm a straight shooter.

Y'all hear me like this, like the segment, y'all hear me talking today, It's like I can't you know, I can't conceal, I can't be conceala frey or I can't feign a casualness.

And I think the difference between being embarrassed as a straight guy about your girlfriend and being embarrassed about being gay is like a DL gay guy has self hatred, yes, whereas a sort of fuck boy that's embarrassed of you is a misogynist, like is specifically actually angry that you have personality?

Yes, So that's different.

So it is much harder for you to fetishize that and be like, damn, I love that this guy is embarrassed at whereas for Sam, it's like damn, I love that this guy is like being dirty, right, now he's bad.

Yeah, there's nothing.

Really, there's really no way to romanticize or fetishize or skew concealing a woman who has too much personality in a morney way but too okay.

Is it more likely that like the fucked up bad boy wants to keep you a secret, or like the really Norman boy who's like sweet.

It's usually like, uh, I feel like classically, I've been with people who think that they have a reputation to uphold more than they actually do.

Like the guy that I lost my virginity.

The guy that I lost my virginity to was literally straight up acting like he was only a few years older than me.

Like it was hardly an age gap in the gay community.

It would be like we were the same age, you know, but straight people sort of view things on different of course, you know, the great things on a different group brit Yes, but you know, he had nothing.

He had he was an after school program tutor and he had like family money, and he was like he had not he had no you know, esteemed to uphold or maintain.

And he was straight up looking at me being like if this gets out, I'm cooked, and it's like cooked.

Where at Kuman where you volunteer three times a week.

Like he didn't actually work at Kuma.

It was a it was a Kumon analog.

But you know it's like shit, didn't even a proper.

No he taught or Kuman's for math.

But you know, I'm cutting around it, but I guess now I'm not anyway.

So it's like, you know, you have nothing, there's no pressure on you.

Nobody's like breathing down your neck.

To well, this is something that straight guys don't deal with often, Like, yeah.

A gay guys, it's very novel for them.

Yeah, so they're frightened immediately, and like.

You've you know, dealt with reputation shatter and like understanding how people perceive you in a different way.

Straight guys don't really, they don't ever deal with that because straight guys usually are perceived Like I've been thinking a lot about how straight men have so much more latitude in terms of what they can say and do, Like the fact that and God, love him, love this man.

But the fact that Starvarsakias is now being heralded as like the face of the new left, and like who's gonna save culture and leftist politics?

And I somebody who has said not even as bad as things that he said or chuckled at in his day, and have only been in this industry for a fraction of the amount of years that he has am still being called literally hitler every day on the Internet.

Sorry, that's crazy, but that's because he is being consumed by other heterosexual men who are a lot more forgiving.

Women and queer people hold each other to uh the most inflexible, restrictive standards.

That makes it impossible for us to really be in community with each other or make art with and about each other because we are so confined to each other's expectations of like the world that we wish we could see.

And oh we internalize the certainly we are.

Basically we all have multiple personality disorder and each personality is a different person that's different.

Credit comments, Yeah exactly, are the you have to kill the comment section within?

Yes exactly, And I have.

And it's like people act like I'm fucking Amelia Earhart getting on the plane, like girl, don't do it, and it's like I'm actually just living my truth.

If I drown, that's fine.

You know.

I have had a lot of men like older than me in comedy, tell me, like, you know, when I was your age, I used to post stuff like that, and now I don't do it.

And it's like, well, all those tweets of yours are still up and nobody's you know, baton and el, nobody's mad at you.

So I don't know, like why you're telling me I shouldn't be doing it anymore.

It's like, I, you know, I've reaped the consequences more than you have, and actually I've chosen to be fine.

I've chosen to overcome the hurdle of public scrutiny and just lean into who I actually am and the right people will find it.

But yeah, I mean I remember when I first started comedy.

This is sort of an aside, but it's it's related.

When I first started comedy, I had a lot of men older than me telling me things like, you know, like here's like a tip for something that you should do right try to make the audience like get on your side and be comfortable with you right away.

So like don't go into like your more sort of edgy or like crass material right up up top, just like say something that will comfort the audience.

Self deprecating whatever, so that they're on your side.

And it's like, hey, for a man, that's a novel idea, the idea of having to walk into a room and being like, how do I make people comfortable so that they listen to me?

That For a men, we're revealing this to me, like they just take in the fucking stored out of the stone, you know.

They were like I found it, Like that's what being a woman is every single day, and they were telling coming up to me, telling me that, like that's what I should be adopting, as if it was some like novel new experience or way to frame things.

And it's like that's what women are taught every single day because we have so much less latitude for what we can get away with.

Men are so new to these ideas of like shame or like having to make people comfortable or whatever.

That to them it just blows their mind.

And it's like I have experienced, you know, scorn and fear and hatred and all these things, and it's like in my work and in my life, I am actually trying to like do the diametric opposite and like make people uncomfortable.

It's not on I don't try to alienate people and make people uncomfortable.

But it's like sometimes, sure, but also I think that's like interesting because I think women have never really been able to get away with that.

In the most interesting women are people who are still here and still in the zeitgeist even if they behaved that way, And so why can't I also do that?

But men, you know, our straight men are new to these ideas of like shame and scorn and feeling eyes on the backs of their heads, and it's like, that's what moving through the world as a woman is every single day, and so I don't want to adhere to any of that.

And so when straight guys act like Hella d'l it's like, what do you have to fear?

What do you have to fear?

What do you have to fear that women have not been fearing for centuries since a pussy formed on fucking like you know, the Neanderthals, since a cutthole opened on a Neanderthal, women have had fear and eyes, you know, and you guys are just fucking new to this, And it's like, I'm true to this.

I hope the reveal is that like, ten years from now, every guy you've ever dated comes out of the closet and they just worried.

Yeah, they just want here's the thing, here's what's really upsetting, right, Okay.

I went on a date that I thought was an amazing date earlier this year with a guy who revealed to me that he had had sex with more men than he had women.

And then he rejected me, and so I sort of, you know, rationalize the babying, like, well, he's gay and he's finding his truth.

Well, now he's got a girlfriend, so he wasn't gay.

I just have a really bad personality.

That's that's not true.

I'm just I'm abrasive, you know, to a certain kind of subsect of men who present as straight, you know, to his credit, present as straight and move through the public life as straight.

I have maybe an abrasive personality that they perceive as something that could like shatter the veneer or like take it all down.

Maybe if he were just a little gayer, it would have worked, because Sandy right exactly, but he.

Was just it was just right down the middle in a way where his bisexuality sort of air on the side of shameful of ivy wool, whereas it should the bisexuality should err on the side of davia worship, kissing my feet, bringing me a hot towel so I can do my jokes, you know.

Yeah.

Wow, And that's a tricky balance to balance.

It's a tricky balance.

Yeah, And so that's basically the TLDR of everything.

Is that whole polemic that I just went on.

That was the most verbose anybody's ever been on your show.

I'm sure, but yeah, you give me a hot I gets really danging.

No, this is I'm completely unclippable.

The reason that I don't post, like the reason that I don't post stand up clips is because all of my jokes are three minutes long.

There's no way to edit around it.

To me, everything is I wish I.

Had announce of that.

Everything I say is like ten seconds, ten seconds, ten seconds.

I'm like blown away by the soul of wit.

I just don't have that.

That's good, it's a good thing to have.

I just don't possess it, like I've never spoken to my life.

No.

No, I think what you're doing is radical because you are going against the clipification of everything, like you're doing anti capitalist comedy, and that you're doing comedy that.

Has and I should have been in that sketch group.

I should have been in that sketch group so that so that we could have all I mean, you know what ended up happening.

They tried to unionize.

Yeah, oh, we're unionizing a sketch group.

Great battle work, Not.

Dude, that's awesome.

No, I think we need to we need to create our own sketch group.

And it's all forty five minute sketches, that is most that are mostly monologue free association.

That's my dream.

I like pitch to sket showed to Adult Swim and they like didn't take it.

And that was probably because in the meeting, I was like so hour long episodes and they.

Were like and they were like all long episodes, one sketch.

One person.

So literally I was like feature film every week and they were like, usually our stuff is like eleven minutes.

And I was like, okay, what if you broadened that.

I'm just challenging everybody to broaden their horizons.

Really, at the end of the day, you want greatness, Yeah?

Is that so much?

Ask?

Like Timothy Shallamy said on the sag Award stage, I want great Ivy.

I just want to say, as your fathers were so proud of you.

We're so proud of you, and we think that you are on the correct track and don't let anyone make you doubt yourself.

Thanks ever ever, love you guys.

And we can't wait to see if I had legs that kick you.

It's really good.

It's really everyone I know delicious.

Roseburne is so incredible honestly, as if Roseburn did McCarthy.

Also, but if roseburn didn't also have dramatic chops, she would just be known as like a Julia Louis Dreyfus level.

To me, incredible and she's very funny in the movie.

The movie is very dark and sad and like dour, but everything with no I didn't shoot anything with Conan.

I shot with asap Rocky, who's such a mench and gorgeous and so kind and loves filming, loves independent cinema, loves watching everything happen in a really charming He's the real deal, like truly as charming and handsome and kind and generous in real life as he is like in his public life.

He's great.

He's so awesome.

Rosebyurne a fucking doll, just like literally amazing, like Pooky for real, like deserves to like be heralded in the high heavens, like she is Olympus.

To me, that's Queen.

That's really Queen.

The movie is really good.

If I had like sidekick, movie is really good.

English Teacher Teacher on Hulu.

I'm in episodes one and seven.

See you how they don't put me in all ten?

Oh really, I will see.

Your presence is so strong it feels like you're never.

We're only in two.

Yeah.

To me, you're like, I know, well, because when it comes to a sitcom, you give me a script, I'm clippable.

Yeah, No, you were.

Is your that's like your panic in Central Park?

Yeah, thinks that's really No.

Seven, I said it stars.

No, that was really amazing?

Was that?

Did you improv Yeah?

Okay, yeah.

They let me improvise a lot.

I mean last season they would just roll the camera on me for like thirty minutes and be like, okay, now we're gonna do a take where Ivy just says anything.

So a lot of my lines are improvised, like the you were in the gay club, no mask on ye the gay club, the masko on yeh, the line last season where I'm like sir I'm posting ads on back page because I'm gonna have to hit the corner.

Stories are so bad that of course.

Also his backpage does not exist anymore and hasn't for like ten years.

And it's like I, of course, and it would exactly and it wouldn't be a reference a high school student.

Would you, right, It's just an Ivy Woolf reference.

I'm like, damn, I'm posting ads on back page.

Yeah my god, damn.

Okay, Well, are you in to our final set?

Yeah, let's do fine, there's a final set.

There's a final set.

Our final segment is called shout outs.

Watch the grand straight tradition of the radio shout out, shouting out anything we enjoy.

People place those things ideas George and I will go first.

Yeah, you guys go first.

Anything example, I can go, yeah, go for it.

What's up Centophile's letterbox users, anyone out there with a wild opinion about a film?

I want to give a shout out to young Mark Ruffalo.

This is a very kind of like DURP DRP.

I'm a blogger, take like to be like Mark Ruffalo is actually kind of hot when he was young.

But I recently rewatched you can count on me the kind of fun or good movie which I hadn't seen since I was a child.

I've heard it.

That was crazy you so.

We have to leave that.

No, we're leaving that we can, we can, we can cut the actual part, but we're leaving, and you saying I'm so sorry.

No, Listen.

All I wanted to say is like, I don't wow, wow, insane.

Wow, that's never happened.

That was improved, That was not scripted.

Everything else you said so far was.

In the script.

That's like, I was like, that was really random for me, Like that was me genuinely being just random and out of care.

I like that you're so comfortable with us though that I didn't even like it was truly like it just flew.

I honestly think it was very like you can exhale now, Simon, Like you've been so focused on telling your story from love Simon, you can focus on telling you know, you've been so focused on telling your story during this whole episode, and then finally you're like, oh my god, I can relax.

Finally it's all out there.

It's so hot in here.

Listen.

All I wanted to say is that Mark Ruffalo is hot.

There's really nothing.

I mean, I can I can keep going, no you, but don't you think that there's I'm literally like, and this is just a question for everyone out there.

What category of man is Mark Ruffalo?

And who are who in Hollywood like looks and feels like him?

I was just sort of unique an interview with him where he's talking about like all of the movies he's ever made.

Yeah, in promotion of like the new show that he's on, and he talks about like a hundred movies on it.

And I find him to be very cute and charming because he's like kind of thick and gruff, but he's also is really soft spoken and like kind of twitchy.

Yeah, and yeah, there is really nobody with his like even when.

He was young.

Obviously he's very objectively hot, but he's hot in a way that not all.

I guess the only comp I could draw is like, you know, when Dustin Hoffman was young, he wasn't like hunky, he was like there was something different.

But I don't know, like, can you think of anyone who has the vibe of a Mark Ruffalo?

Not a one is strange?

I keep wanting to say, Eric Bana, but that's because they both played the Hulk, right.

Anyway, that's mine.

Okay, I'll go quickly, what's up press and perverts?

I want to give a huge shout out and a very I'll say this practical shout out to TSA pre check.

You know, I have been one of these people that's like, if I can't do it the plane way, I don't want to do it at all.

I want the common experience.

I don't want a specialty experience.

And then my dear friend George was like, you should really do this if we're going to be traveling together.

And it works so well, you think, do you think who cares what's waiting in a line?

Then you get this pre check and your life is so easy.

Every time I go to the airport, I feel like I'm you know, Julia Louis Dreyfus, Why I'm being treated like royal.

To the greats?

I am?

I am like sliding right through.

Everyone is kissing my feet and no one is the way, which have shoes on, and no one is stopping me and take laptop out lap out the line.

Three people belong.

You should get it.

I did you know you're not the mom would interview.

You have to give an interview, like I've not been by the way, oh yeah, And one of these is you and it's a picture of you and the mom and then you point at you.

You go, I'm Sam and they're like you pass.

Yeah, you give your fake ID.

That's your photo from your self tape right, and the like are.

You been long?

And like, I'm actually Ivy.

It's a different last name.

So shout out to TSA pre check sometime's being practical as good.

Whoop wow wow, Okay.

I would like to give a shout out to the meal that I've been eating every single day, which is yawki with olive oil and salt and pepper.

Eating that every single day for the past like three weeks.

It's really good.

I ordered the naki that I like in a big box online because I have crazy like food scarcity hustle grinds at mindset and so I'm always afraid that food is just going to disappear.

So I buy things in bulk and massive boxes like I'm a Costco mom or a Doomstate prepper and so who wait, that's good.

Write that down.

That's a new character for me.

So I bought all this yonk and now I have like twelve containers of it in my fridge.

Last night I made the mistake of eating eight hundred calories of it in one sitting, and I couldn't move or walk, and I felt like I was gonna die.

But it's really delicious and it's just clutch.

Like I just I love dinner.

I'm really I'm going I'm in a dinner phase in my life right now.

I kind of like I only eat the same things over and over again.

Like pretty much all I eat is potato based products and bee for pork, and that's all I eat.

And then I eat like sweets and candy and that's it.

It's a pretty varied yeah, pretty very vegetables.

I've been doing apples, so actually shout out to Apple.

Get into apples.

I have like gastroparicis, so my stomach is paralyzed.

And so I was not eating raw fruits and vegetables for like many years because I was like not digesting them well and I would just like throw up apple skins.

And so I was not eating apples for many years of my life.

And then the other day I was like, what it would happen if I just ate an apple, and now I've been eating multiple apples a day, and honestly I feel like, actually like I'm better.

So shout out to that.

Oh wow, well this has been a real treat.

Thank you for doing the pod.

I'm so sorry that I farted in your office.

This is the most punk rock episode with that was wild.

I'm actually surprised no one's parted.

Before well that we know of.

Adam's a farterer.

Is he interesting?

I can't.

I don't think he farted when he was not audible, not audibly but you know, much like you, uh, not clippable in the sense that he does tell some seventeen minute stories.

Yes, Adam, he's also he's Adam.

But Adam tak like Adam talks like Bill Maher, where Bill Maher is always like, you know, one time I saw Teddy Kennedy at the Jet Blu terminal, sure part airport.

It was a cold day, and like that's how Adam talks.

Every Adam story is like once upon a time I saw the guy from Different Strokes at a Costco.

Yeah, it was chilly, the breeze was blowing, and then two hours later you're like, well, my Crane's here.

I got to yeah, well, not that we should talk to Adam.

No, I love that.

My desire for his approval is like humiliating.

No, it reminds me of being gay in high school and like wanting the pool.

Well, people did comment that there was a chemistry between you two.

They actually said, I really felt it in that episode.

I think there was a sexual tension between Adam and me, and I'm excited to explore it for re spectacled Kings.

Yeah.

Yeah, I was kind of ignored the whole time, but you were not ignored too, busy eye fucking each other and listen to my words.

He likes he likes a Mediterranean vibe.

I know Italian and you're Greek.

We want to know more about his fiance.

Nice girl here, beautiful beautiful woman, Yeah, beautiful one.

Okay, we have to wrap up, all right, Okay, bye bye bye podcast and now want more?

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Stradia Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.

Created and hosted by George Severis and Sam Taggart.

Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonni and Olivia Aguilar.

Co produced by by Wang, edited and engineered by Adam Avolos.

Artwork by Michael Failes and Matt Grugg.

Theme music by Ben Kling