Who do you who?

This is a quick announcement to say that we Sam Taggart and George Severs are going on a stand up tour.

That's right, a stand up tour, no podcasting allowed this summer and fall.

It's called Sam and George stand Up Tour.

It rhymes kind of, and we're going to Chicago, Philly, DC, Boston, Toronto, San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, Los Angeles.

And maybe more locations TBD TV.

Let's just say we're looking into it.

And sometimes that has worked for us in the past, and sometimes it hasn't.

But folks come see us split an hour stand up and we're so excited to see you.

We're so excited, and you can get tickets at linktree dot com, slash stradio Lab.

That's linktree dot com, slash stradio Lab.

Enjoy the app podcast starts.

Now, what is up everyone?

We are doing that time thing.

And for any new listeners, that time thing is when we record the intro after we have already recorded the episode Survivor's Own Poverty.

Shallow has just left the studio and we are to be honest, reeling to be honest.

It was like so much fun and it's it's feels unfair to be doing the intro now, I know.

I'm like, like, normally the intro has this sort of anxiety within it of like how is this episode gonna go?

And of course usually we're looking at the guests and the guest is looking at us and is like, well, you better stick the landing.

And now like we already like like this intro is just a victory lab Like I'm like, wow, we fucking ate that I'm already relaxed.

I'm actually too relaxed that I'm not able to be as charismatic, charming, funny as I always am.

As listeners of this podcast know, I will say something I noticed is, you know, she's obviously master manipulator, playing mind games with us the whole time.

She somehow left with a million dollars, even though we didn't know it was a competition, and I had to remind myself, she's tricking you.

Yeah, be on guard, beyond guard, don't lose yourself.

But it's hard because all I want to do is be her friend.

No, she's so charming.

It was really electronic.

I found myself really wanting and I think we both did a good job of not doing this, but I found myself really wanting to just go full gay guy standing mode and just be like, bitch, you are everything.

I really just wanted to succumb to that instinct, which I so rarely do.

I mean, she has it in a crazy way.

Yeah, I mean I think listeners of us will be like, you know, in comparison what we normally are, we were kind of like, bitch, you are everything.

Yes, we were a little bit.

You are everything.

And I actually think I feel ambivalent about the hold that reality television has on our culture.

But then you meet someone like that and you're like, I'm so glad reality television exists because you deserve the spotlight and in an alternate world.

Actually, something I wanted to ask her and I am so sad that we ran out of time is in her book, she goes through so much stuff, right, She goes through uh, you know, physical challenges, she goes through grief, she goes through divorce, whatever.

The one thing that she truly cannot stand is having a desk job.

And I was like, I relate to this so hard.

Like she's describing getting moving back to New York and getting a job like working as an editor, at CBS News and she's like, the grind of having to go to a desk every day was worse than anything I experienced on the island.

And I'm like, yet, I totally understand what you mean.

I would sacrifice everything.

You thought have to go to a job that is amazing.

God, she really gets it.

I was really impressed because both of us were kind of nervous because we were nervous.

She's like such a figure and I was like, oh my god, what if like we we aren't as like what if we aren't, you know, encyclopedic enough about her background.

What if they aren't like smart and funny enough.

And it was just like the moment she walked in and was like, oh we are she is hosting this podcast.

She was hosting it, and I also found myself and this is not a good quality to have as an investigative journalist.

I was like, I want her to like me, which I hate feeling that way.

Yeah, but it worked.

But then and then I also I was like telling my friend that I was nervous about her, and she was like, you have nothing to be nervous about because her entire thing is that she's studied human behavior, and will be able to adapt to literally whatever energy you throw at her.

Yeah, which of course made me made me feel less special because I'm like, Okay, so she could, she would be friends with anyone.

What about me?

What about me?

What does you think I'm special?

No, she thinks you really special, she told me.

Okay, good.

Yeah, Also, I am you know, I'm in New York and you're in LA.

So you were actually in the room with her.

I do think I would have frozen up a little bit more if I was in the room with her.

She is one of the most beautiful people I think I've ever seen in my life.

She's gorgean and there's something where I was like, because she's a master of reading body language, uh huh.

It made me hyper self aware of how I was holding myself and even like I was doing that thing where you're like looking at her in the eyes and being like, am I making too much eye contact?

And then to look away and I'd be like, is this weird that I'm looking away?

And she knew every every second.

She was like, oh God, here he goes again.

Yeah.

So basically, I mean, do we need to say anything else before we just go to the episode no, this is well.

And I want to read the title of she Oh Parverty has a new book out.

It's called Nice Girls Don't Win.

I quite literally just finished the audiobook on my way here.

I have to say I loved it.

Yeah, she's a great reader, she's a great narrator.

One thing I do want to say is she kept mentioning that she accidentally drove into a poll on her way here, and the way neither of us asked any follow up questions about that, I thought was iconic, Like, she's literally like I got into an accident mere minutes ago, and we were like, anyway, so do you think survivors gayer?

Straight?

No, she bumped into the pole.

Who doesn't.

That's just la life.

You're just bumping into poles left and right.

All right, all right, it's not a full on accident.

She's bumped into a pole.

It's called human.

It's called being human.

It's called being human.

Do you think maybe she didn't even bump into the pole, and she was doing it as a like to show that she's human and to show some weakness so that we would be like enamored to her.

God, the game's never ending.

That's crazy.

Well then, enjoy the app and oh yeah, and buy tickets to our tour.

Yes, is really soon?

By tickets to our tour.

And also I just want to say, since we're here, we're i'll say it, launching Straightio Lab book Club.

Oh yeah, We're launching straight a Lab Book Club.

Our first entry is Murder on Sex Island by Joe Firestone, past guest and future and future guests.

And the way it's gonna work.

The way it's gonna work is that we are giving you one month to read the book.

You can purchase it anywhere your purchase books, hopefully not the bad one.

And then on August I want to say seventeenth or eighteenth, whatever is a Tuesday.

That is when the episode will come out where we talk to Joe about the book.

You can call us at three eight five gay guys and leave questions for Joe that we could potentially ask her and pretty much more than you, Jenna Bushager.

Yeah, I hope that's okay.

Enjoy the episode.

Enjoy the episode.

Bye, shall we?

Yes?

I think we just start talking Sam because we will do the intro Lader.

Oh that's true, so we don't we don't want to give the intro to poverty right now.

Well, I do think we should welcome her.

I'm really loving this dynamic.

You have no idea.

Well, we're especially man podcast.

It's actually the first, like fully two years of us doing this podcast.

We never even got to the topic because we would just be like, so is everyone feeling weird today?

Okay, yeah, I relate.

Well, then, without further ado, please welcome to the podcast party shallow yeh wow, it's already so electric in here.

You have an amazing vibe.

We are buzzing.

I'm literally I could not be more jealous.

I don't think I've ever been more jealous of the other side of a bicoastal recording.

You know, sometimes the guess is with Sam, sometimes the guess is with me.

At this point, very rarely are we all together because of our really busy and fruitful careers, and so I'm love.

I'm literally going to get up and get a selfie later of me and the screen and the two of you on the stream.

Thank you.

Well, we feel your vibe coming through the screen as well.

It's coming through really strong, it's radiating.

Well, I have a really manic I have a really manic energy today because after this I have to go to a pre wedding drinks that will require me to take the fairy stressful.

We both looked at you so blankly.

Why are both tell us?

More so, what's wrong?

What's so wrong with the ticking is what I'm saying.

You don't want to and I don't know, and I literally don't know if I'm going to make it, And so I sort of in my own way feel like I'm on Survivor and I'm you know, I could get Votter off Visa be not gard Harry.

I think it's pretty selfish of you, and you're not considering that potentially the clock is taking over here as well.

Because that's right, he actually has to pick up her child.

Yeah, and I hit a hole on the way over here.

So I'm really matching your manic vibe.

But I get that feeling where time is running out.

I have.

I think I've had that since a child, where there's like the pressure of time and there's a deadline.

It's how I do my best work.

So I really expect a lot from you in this podcast.

Yeah, I'm gonna cram a lot in honestly, even the fact that we're like starting a little bit late.

I'm like, good, because we need to have a sense of urgency, like we need to be truly shaking.

I honestly am shaking.

No, I am there is something.

I'm like so excited and nervous and chugging a coffee.

Oh.

I was going to say, did you drink an energy drink?

But yet that's arm caffeine.

I'm like, I can feel it in my stomach.

I'm like shaking.

I'm to bite just by association, just watching you drink.

That, you know what?

I'm also I also am coming with a manic energy because speaking of time running out, I was literally listening to your book and being like it better, my better end right as I enter, because if I if I don't know the ending, like what if something crazy happens to you at the end.

I have no idea.

And it's like the big thing you want to promote is that you're like launching You're like launching a soft drink and you're here to promote your soft drink and I have no idea.

I mean, while I'm talking about the.

Traders, yeah, traders, and the whole time You're like, so when are we going to get to the soft drink?

Come on, guys, that's the whole point and that's why I'm here.

Yeah, all the good stuff happens at the end of the book, the last like two sentences.

It's everything kind of reveals itself.

Yes, right, we want one of my ideas.

And of course I didn't have time write this down.

Is I wanted you to rank from gata straight the titles of the chapters of your book.

Yeah, because all of them are like, all of them are one word.

It's like, wait, I can actually pull them up.

Yeah.

Yeah, I kept it simple for the reader.

Okay, ready, yeah, I'm ready.

Hold on, fuck, okay, are we just giving it like a like a one to ten.

You're gonna put them in order from gayest to straightest.

Oh my god, that's like doing quantum computing.

We have a whiteboard, folks wedering physics today.

It's a lot like quantum computing.

You're so smart.

No, no, no, no, we're the one that's quantum computing.

Flight, Fawn, fight, Freeze, hunger, lockdown, the Gift of Grief, rebuilding, love, body language beyond binary trader.

Actually, let's just do love beyond binary trader.

You don't want to do hunger and lockdown.

And hunger and lockdown from gata straight hunger, lockdown, body language.

Trader.

I think I'm gonna say, oh god, that's hard because Trader is pretty gay.

I agree, So I think I'm gonna I'll start Trader will be won, then hunger, yeah, because we know how that goes well.

And if anything, hunger is gayest because like, if there's one thing LGBTQ plus Americans are doing, it's skipping dinner.

Yeah, it's like you're not You're having a bite of popcorns.

Well, and they're like they're like out of the event and they're like, oh, I didn't have anything to eat before this.

Literally last night at the award show, I could not get a scrap of food.

I couldn't get a glass of water.

I was ravenous and it was the gayest thing I've ever dine.

We were the Culture Awards, of course, shout out lost Coltriesta's really we were.

It was a lot like Survivor and that we were starving and thirsty, starving.

A little more slightly more glam.

What would you say is more difficult winning Survivor or attending an event?

Well, okay, the hardest thing about attending these events is the getting the clothes and doing a hair and the makeup.

So I have really enjoyed doing these drag shows because I get to go to the drag shows and then I just get to be a boy.

Yeah, it's so easy.

I dressed up like Boston rob for this drag show in Brooklyn on the day that my book came out.

So fun, that is so wild, and.

The queen's come in fully glam yeah.

Actually, the hair, the makeup, I'm like, oh my god, the heels, the clothes, they stitched them together themselves but dazzled it with their glue guns.

And then Jan brings me a black tank top in red shorts and I borrowed some shoes from my pr guy and I was like, on Boss of Rope, yeah I get it.

So I'd never thought about that as an appeal of drag for women, is like you get to be the you get to be like the quote unquote sub one.

Well, oh well the queens.

Yeah.

I was like, I got to work on my like boy dance moves because I think I was still like a little cat.

Like sure, it takes time, you know, it takes time to forget all of that all that training.

Will work on that.

But was winning Survivors pretty hard to Yeah.

For sure, for sure.

No, I have this thing being at those events where I both recognize everyone and don't know anyone.

There was like I felt like a crazy person the entire time because I was like talking to people and they'd be like, we've never met.

Or I'd be talking to someone I'd be like, we've never met.

They'd be like, I'm literally your best friend, and I'm like, this is so hard.

It's so hard.

It's very overstimulating.

Very oversimulating.

And then I find myself talking about how it's overstimulating the whole time, and I'm like, maybe just ask how someone summer is going.

Try that right, Well, I sometimes I'll go with the other opposite direction and I'll suddenly act as like a caricature of a fake person in Hollywood.

Like I'll find myself being like, so what are you working on?

Oh my god, Like East Hampton is crazy this time of year, like we were trying to get out East for the summer.

Like I'll just say things I don't even mean.

That's a really good point.

It's amazing to play a character those things.

Yeah, yeah, I mean if I told someone that, if I tell someone I'm on the next season of Yellow Jackets, they'll believe me, Like, no, one's gonna pull up their phone in fact jacket.

No, And then they'll be like, Oh, I should reach out to my agent and I should also get on the next season.

God, I'm the only one of this entire party that's not in the next Yellow Jacket, and I feel like a fucking fool idiot.

I should have reached out to my agent earlier.

I actually did.

I actually did reach out to my agent.

Yellow Jackets.

Well, I met Quinta Brunson from Abbot's Elementary and she was really excited to me, and she was like, we love Survivor.

Everyone at Abbits is a huge family.

Oh my god.

My sister's favorite show is Abbots Elementary and I've been watching some episodes and I find it's so hilarious and like, I'll do it, cam me.

I'll be a substitute teacher.

So I just reached out to my age and I was like, can we get me on?

I mean, okay, Well, they'd be lucky to have you.

Here's a question for you, like would you want to play yourself or would you want to go like really method and play like, oh my god.

I want to be a character.

I want to be a weirdo.

You should actually want to be like a substitute teacher who's like smells like cats, yes, and just has like lipstick everywhere, like Michelle Pfeiffer on Catwoman as a teacher when she's not cat one.

Exactly, I see it.

But then also, but then also you are cat Woman.

It's like really high concept.

Like actually, then the show becomes about how you are also as a substituteacher.

You are cat Woman in the evenings.

Yeah, you're tired every day, but it's not because you're like, you know, have a drinking problem or something.

It's because you are out fighting crime or causing crime.

I forget what cat Woman does.

She's like slinking around, she's breaking into people's houses, stealing their milk.

That's what I'll be doing.

Nearly literal direction.

You know, George was commenting on your amazing accent work in the book.

It was I wasn't kidding.

You're doing a great especially a great Southern accent.

But then sometimes you'll do different voices for different characters, which I appreciate.

I actually was recently listening to an audiobook where I won't say who it was, but a very famous British actor is reading it and when he does American accents, it's so bad.

It's like that British thing of being like move over over there, you know, and it's and there.

He keeps trying to do an American accent, and I was like, with property, I was like, Okay, finally an actress, Like, finally someone that can embody a character, un like all these you know, theater trained losers back in the UK.

Well, they they're just too high brow.

It's like they can't drop the f act because that is what's open doors for them their whole lives.

Like if they drop it, like what are they trailer trash?

Yeah, they lose all their power.

The pedigree.

Yeah, yeah, out the door with the accent.

Do you forge me?

I have no pedigree.

I was born into a commune.

After this episode comes out, you're pedigreeing a skyrocket.

We're talking abouty Royal.

Yeah, pretension.

I know you talked a lot about like as yourself, having different characters that you play and playing around with that in high school.

Did you do that while reading the book?

You know, like narrating the chapter, but it's like a chapter when you're at a low point.

Did you like have to get in there emotionally and go method?

Oh yeah, I was feeling it.

I was perhaps you relate.

I don't know if you've ever done anything like this, but I stood in a sound booth.

I think God Miley Cyrus was like on the wall behind me because I had inspiration and like a mentor, just guardian angel over my shoulders, like you could do it.

And I was just standing up for eight hours a day for two days straight, just WHOA eating my life story that took me forty two years to live and three years to write.

And I'm like, I really like crushed through it.

I was like crushing coffee.

I was just eating chocolate and drinking ginger tea.

And as I'm reading it, I'm like, I know what I like to hear when I'm listening to an audio book.

I want someone to be like lively with it, like it's a conversation.

And I've listened to some audio books where the content is so good, but the narrator just kind of does it in monotone.

Yeah, and I just sow out.

So I'm like I'm not gonna do that.

I'm going to bring the heat and stood.

I stood there on my feet the whole time.

I did not sit down.

I barely took a break because I was in the zone.

This is how I do endurance challenges on Survivor.

I mean, it really is impressive.

You really can't let yourself stop.

This is how you're gonna get the part in Abbot.

You're gonna quaw your weigh in, You're gonna be pushing.

You're gonna be pushing Emily Retakowski like everyone else that's that's up for that role.

Julia Fox.

Julia Fox.

Of course, she's up for the same roles, for the same role.

Me and Julia, we basically have the same life.

Yeah, and the two of you are to get the role.

You're gonna have to hold your hand up in the air for six hours.

She is, she's done, and she's.

I mean, yeah, Like, how far would you go to win something that you care to?

Oh?

See, this is an amazing question.

And I honestly I'm unclear because I am a deeply competitive person.

But like sometimes if the competition gets too competitive, I'm like I'm out.

Like there's something that It's almost like a negative trait in me.

The like like when I play I have to say it video games, I become a different person.

I'm so glad you said that.

That's it feels very vulnerable and real that.

You share so vulnerable.

I know everyone thinks in this cool comedian like she just reads a lot of books and only consumes Prestige TV and the occasional season of Survivor.

But now you're relatable normal.

I play video games and guy, I'm just a guy.

I'm a guys guy.

Even Sam's role in the pod no.

I like used to have my entire day ruin because I would play Super Smash Bros.

Online and like get so invested, Like I would be like happy when I started and then be like don't speak to me at the end of it.

Like it was like it was.

Crazy with that what point do you know that this is a problem.

There was a point like when you when I'm like just another one, I need another one.

That's when I was like, oh this is I'm bad.

Like how many days, weeks, months were you in at this point?

This was like years.

It was like really unchilled, and then how did you unhook?

I literally just had to be like it was like quitting a drug.

Like I had to be like, I am a bad person when I do this.

I just have to stop.

And then people will be like, like one time I was on Fire Island with a million gay guys and they were like, let's play Super Smash Bros.

And I was like, I don't think you understand, like I have a problem.

Yeah, And then we started playing and they were like, I'm They were like, oh, we're all good too, we play all the time.

And I was like, no, you don't understand.

And I like beat them all over and over and over and to the point where then they were all upset and I was like, I'm sorry this.

I devoted my life to those games.

This is where I shine.

Let me live.

I'm trying to get rid of the side of myself.

You guys brought it back out.

Yeah, but did you have to substitute something in for that addiction?

Oh amazing question.

You're like a much better interviewer than Yeah.

You should actually guest post sometimes as catwoman.

Actually this is my job now.

So you guys are fired, and I, oh.

My god, to be offered to buy.

Out ready, I'm not paying anything, No, no.

We'll be in touch with your team.

Storry to have it as soon as you have that abbit elementary money.

Wait, so, Sam, what do you think that your video game experience would mean for your Survivor.

I think it means I would like, I actually would love to go on Survivor, but I'm afraid that like the dark side of me would come out and I would I would be shown as like a psychopath.

Yeah you would, but people love that.

Here's what.

I would be so good at being bitchy and gossiping about everyone, and then I would like forget to actually do well, so I would be like really, I'd be really good at being like, oh my god, she is so embarrassing, like why did she do that?

But then it would be like my turn on the challenge, and I like won't have laced up my shoes, you know what.

Honestly, that would get you really far.

Also, that would get you far.

I also think the worst trope on Survivor is like the really mask dude that like cares about the challenges to an insane degree.

I hate it.

I hate that trope and I worry that that would be me.

Like when I would lose, I would be a sore loser, and I would be upset and I'd be like, I'm just not talking to anybody for the day.

Look, so you would be that I would I want I don't want to.

I don't like that about myself.

I wouldn't see it with the musta.

The mustache throws me off.

I also think I would suddenly I don't normally think in these terms, but I think I would suddenly be like, I'm doing this for LGBTQ plus Americans everywhere, and I would be so like obsessed with not being a gay guy that's bad at you know, physical challenges, because I that's such a that's such a you know, it's like, of course when you're around straight like buff straight guys, you're not.

No one expects you to be the one that's good.

And I would be so terrified of not doing well and living up to that stereotype that I would like honestly start crying.

Like well, that would also you you're pitching yourself as a survivor winner.

You're really really thinkitting right in the sweet spot.

It's like good in challenges but doesn't look threatening because he bumbles up with his sneakers and forgets to tell his shoes, talks a lot of shit on people.

Producer's dream.

Also, everybody wants that because everyone's bored and starving and really uncomfortable.

So it's like Tyson Apostle, he's so funny that people just want him around because he's funny.

But he said he's such a dick and like the confessional, and then you find out later that he was dogging shit on you a whole time, and you're like, wait, I thought we were friends.

I've always wondered how emotionally affected are you by the shit talking when you find out later less?

So now, okay, because how many times have I played a thousand trillion times?

But in the beginning, when I was a little kid, I was like, everybody likes me.

I have so many friends here, And then I watched them all trash man, I was like, oh man.

I mean I cannot imagine.

Also, that time period when you went like early on is such a different time.

It's the dark ages.

It's really dark.

Yeah.

I wrote about it in my book because it was really gnarly.

It was MySpace era.

Yeah, it was Perez.

Hiltons Hilton, Oh my god, when you were talking about how like you remember the desk that he would be on every day just.

Drawing table the table coffee Bean.

Yeah, it's the table at coffee Bean.

It was like middle of the floor at coffee Bean.

It wasn't even on a side corner.

Some people could just like watch him.

That is so weird.

Something that bothered me about something bother me about people being rude about you.

And the episodes that I watched was I was like, I was like, you can you not tell she is fabulous?

Like I was like, can you zoom out for a second and actually take in.

In two thousand and eight, fabulous was a crime.

It was like, let's stick up bird's eye view.

Yeah, no, I was.

I actually do think.

I think Harvedy your issue, your mistake was that being fabulous was criminalized until approximately twenty thirteen, and then that I.

Wanted to be locked up like hand, and nobody would do it.

They would just call me a slot on the streets, like tie me up, put me in the dungeon.

Oh I having a mad girl.

So you're being like Jessica Rabbit, You're like, oh hey, and then everyone's like lock her up.

Oh my god god.

I think I also would like it's I also unfortunately left a flirt And I feel like if I were on an island like board sort of hungry, I would be like, well, all I'm gonna do is kind of try to flirt and have a little fun.

Well, it's literally the only thing you can do for fun.

You're not eating, you can't buy, and you can't go shopping.

You can't, I'm serious, you can't.

You can't go out for margaritas.

Wait literally, wait wait wait, there's no protest store on the island.

I'm sorry to burst your book.

I'm fucking pissed what they're doing.

Agree.

I agree we should all sue.

We should sue, we.

Should wrass action citizens or US.

I've always wanted to know, like when you're on the flight over, like on the first time, are you like, what the fuck am I doing?

Yeah?

And they have us all like quarantined off on the flight so none of us are allowed to look at each other.

And it's different the first time because the first time I don't know anybody, it's every contestant is new.

But then for the returning seasons, you like walk on the plane and you're like I remember getting on the shuttle to go to the airport, and they had all the women staying in one area and the men staying in another area, so I thought it was going to be separated men versus women.

As we started, I get on the shuttle and Amber Boston Rob's white yes, yes, Yes is on the shuttle, and I was like, oh my god, I am shocked.

I am gobsmacked to see your face.

I couldn't believe it.

I was like, for sure Rob's going to be playing, but I couldn't believe she was there too, both of them.

That must be so freaky.

I can't imagine we can't talk to each other.

So I just like give her a little wink.

I'm like, hope we're on the same team.

I know.

Do you get to like are there ways to signal like I want to work with you even like at that moment, yeah, I think.

Your guns wink like a little like a note, like smiley face, like do you want to work with me?

Box?

Yes or no?

Harvedy's special tips like right on a piece of paper like Mistress of Deception, Parvety shallow, right on a piece of paper, Do you want to work with me?

Box yes?

Box no?

And then when they circle maybe I'm like, yeah, you're like, you're getting fucking cut.

Wait, okay, I have a question.

We have to do our first segment.

But before we do Parvety.

You know, I know that you have studied body language, and you have studied, like you know, modes of deception, and I want you to tell me what are you getting from our body language?

Well, Sam's really fidgety over here with his cord.

And what do you think that means?

And now you feel seen?

He feels exposed and uncovered.

It's like I now I've taken away the comfort that we had with one another.

No, I I the moment you asked that question, I felt the cord in my hand and I said, fuck, I've been found out.

I've been a real fidgetter recently in a way where I'm like, I don't want to be.

I know what's going on.

Though.

It's because you quit video games.

That's why you got you need to fix.

I got on my fix.

And now can you read George's body language?

I mean, obviously it's true the screen so it's little.

We can only see George's shoulders and heads.

Well, there is like a vain kind of throw being in your left neck.

It's just pulsing, like like, can we get a zoom in on the vein that veins, like are gonna be late for the ferry?

Oh my god, I do feel you're You're really good at this.

I do feel tense.

It's like Sam is jittery and I'm tense.

I think that's what each of us is bringing.

But then we also energy.

Yeah, but it's it's very subtle.

It's very subtle because it's under the cloak of like they're like cute stripe shirt, like the open button and then the chest hair.

Oh my god, you know just what?

Okay, And here's my follow up question for you?

What have you done so far that has been a mind game for us?

Like we think you're just like connecting with us naturally and asking follow up questions, But what have you done that's been dishonest?

Honestly, I couldn't tell you anymore.

It's so woven and to my personality, I can't.

I feel like I'm being myself.

Yeah, I feel like you've never been more yourself ever.

I honestly think you are.

It's like you've prepared your whole life for this era of influencers and creators who are all just like completely full of shit all the time.

It's like you, it's like you actually had to do it with steaks.

You had to be on an island and lie to people to win money.

People are doing it to unbox.

Uh you know new Seltzer brand, new Seltzer drinks.

Yeah, I love a new Seltzer drinks.

Yeah.

No, definitely, please send them over.

You send every Seltzer over.

We will never say no.

Do you do you think deception is gay or straight?

Ooh, it's if it's fun, it's gay, if it's if it ruins the world, it's straight period period.

No, it's I think that's a really good point.

Also, we just saw that viral video at the cold Play concert.

Wow, we feel uniquely connected to this viral video at the cold Play concert because we think it's like essential straight culture in so many ways.

Yeah, and actually, and in fact, honestly, I'm so glad you brought it up.

And we're gonna literally fast track this episode so that it comes out and it's ill relevant.

I so to me.

So think of all the signifiers, Coldplay one of the like literally maybe the straightest band.

And I say that with you know, love, Chris Martin you know, straight in every possible way.

Then the idea of a jumbo tron so straight, like if you think of a jumbo tron wedding proposal, like the idea of wanting to be on the jumbo tron, the idea of like looking up and seeing your face and waving, it's so like, it's so like you know, random guy at the basketball game and it's just one chance to be on a big screen.

Then then we have he is an AI CEO.

Is there anything more straight than that?

We have that?

We have the head of HR, the straightest department in the company.

It is the detendment.

The job is to make sure people follow rules and don't sexually harass one another.

It is the most It is the most prude, sex negative job you can have.

Very mad men, very mad men.

The HR element is my favorite crazy.

It's like the one person you probably shouldn't have an affair with is the HR.

No.

My favorite is that he drops to his knees and puts his hands up and waves with his hands like he's a clown, Like he planned that that was his bit.

It is so crazy and now even like I even find that the cheating to be like even cheating.

I'm sort of like, well, yeah, you should be hooking up with other people.

Yeah, no, the cheating, cheating is get yours.

It's like, that's cheating is the straightest form of deception.

It's like the straightest sin because it is you know, the prereq is monogamy.

It's like something you can only do if you already subscribe to like straight norms or whatever.

So he's cheating, and then the reaction it's like the complete lack of chill, like that they can't adjust their behavior accordingly and try to.

They can't actually commit to deceiving.

It's like the second they're found out even a little bit, they're literally like, arrest me.

I broke the rule.

Yeah, it's him getting down is.

So it's so funny, and her like burying her face and her friend laughing so hard.

Her friend was there like watching this whole thing play out.

What are the odds?

And he's the AI tech guy.

I'm like, your own technology turned against you?

So is the technology gay?

Oh you think you think like the technology of like basically like surveillance technology.

Yeah, is it gay?

This is That's a really good question.

That's an amazing question.

It's kind of gay because it's reality TV.

It's really yeah, it's honestly, it's like Real Housewives, the logic of Real Housewives like that.

For that moment to be picked up by that technology, it's at some game.

In that moment, Chris Martin was Prez Hilton like he was literally like he was like, he was like, I'm going to expose these cheaters.

He's infidels.

I also like, I have never understood the idea of an affair that's like like we're pretending we're dating.

Like I was like, isn't an affair like hotel room and like being bad?

Instead, they're like going to a Coldplay concert and like holding each other.

I'm like, wait, what.

Like probably in their work sweet they're like, oh, we're all we'll see you at the concerts straight after work, baby, And then they're like a noodling to the song.

I need to do.

We know what song was playing.

I hope it was yellow.

I hope it was yellow.

I hope.

I've actually been noticing a trend alert ring the alarm.

So many songs these they are vivale evita coded.

I keep hearing the like the strings are back in a big way.

It comes in a sharp yes, the fact that they are sorry, I know we're pushing it with this topic, but the fact that they are so happy in that moment also, it's it's like they it's like the straight people that can only have fleeting happiness when they are doing something that's against the rules, and you can tell that in that moment they are so in love.

But it can't last.

It can't last, and that's the only reason that they are in love.

I know I'm feeling that way.

Well, it's forbidden really.

Well no, I know, I feel like, you know, what.

If they're going to be together, what's going to happen with their partners?

What?

I'm like, what is the fallout of this?

I mean that means what I do need a TV show about it?

I do too.

But it's also you know what's annoying.

It's like you can't even enjoy an ai CEO cheating anymore because suddenly they're dooxing his kids.

Like why I need to be able to press an off switch.

I need to be like, Okay, we had fun for twenty four hours.

Now we have to move on.

I agree, And I even think the brand using of it to be like, don't get caught cheating at KFC and like no, no, no, no, no, you don't get to have this.

This is ours.

This is for the people, This is for the It is for the people.

We are the bourgeois, and we name the moment.

Should we do our first segment, we are pushing.

We are pushing it tire.

We'll do our first segment very quick and then we'll get into our topic.

Okay, poverty.

Our first segment is called Straight Shooters, and in this segment, we're going to ask you a serious of rapid fire questions to gauge your familiarity with and complicity and straight culture.

It's basically this thing or this other thing.

And the only rule is you can't ask any follow up questions or we will.

Snuff out your torch.

I'll say that much.

We literally that's really traumatic for me.

I can't believe you just went there.

Oh we go there, we go there on this podcast, Okay.

Ye getting comfortable.

Just when you were getting comfortable, we were revealing that we're actually evil gay guys, not kind of gaggy gay guys.

Stand.

I kind of picked that up.

We're the Perez Hilton.

Yeah, we're the Prez Hilton.

Gay guys.

Yeah, there's always a shadow.

George kick us off.

Okay, all right, and so here's the thing, you have to say this or that, and and I actually.

You know, we actually usually when the guests asked that question, we yell at them.

Yeah, but we're actually because we're standing so much because now now we actually change our personalities again and we're no long Prez Hilton and now we're Evan.

I'm following.

I'm really enjoying.

We went from from Prez Hilton to Evan Ross Cats.

So now we are standing you and we are noting hoasting a carousel, hosting a carousel of memes, and we are saying yes, Queen Diva.

Okay.

So and I actually I tried to sort of sprinkle in references from the book in mine.

Okay, ready, the body he keeps the score or I got have already at the store.

Oh my god, okay, I can't I this?

Am I doing it right?

The body keeps us Yeah, okay, I have to I reference it in my book.

It's like really foundational for me.

Okay, is that we can't That's that sounds like another question questions Okay, poverty.

I wish you were wearing Mickey Mouse here.

That would be fun.

This is the deception thing.

I don't know how, but you're playing a game.

Okay, a blind side Prince Y's Survivor or the blind Side Prince Dee's White Save your movie.

A blind side okay, Perverty Micronesia or micro Penis Micronesia.

Okay, being voted out or being noted to.

Shout, being being noted to shout.

Wait, okay, mine is so similar.

Ready, betraying your tribe, accepting a bribe, or delivering a diatribe.

Oh, delivering a diatribe.

Yeah, okay, finding the immunity idol, or whining Honestly I'm full.

I'm whining.

Honestly, I'm full.

Okay, that's what I said last night.

Nothing.

I couldn't even eat a skittle right now.

God, I'm full.

Okay.

Coming out as by or having doubts about that one guy hmm.

Yeah, And they're actually related if you think about it.

Sometimes having doubts about that one guy can lead to someone to coming out as By.

It's well they should be, well, everyone should be by even a thing lateral.

Let's start there, Okay, Winning a meal from Chili's or making a big deal out of something silly.

Oh that's really good.

That is good because winning a meal from Chili's if you're on an island and.

Starving with no protest.

But actually, I couldn't name one menu item from Chili's.

It's not like you got a bloomin onion.

So yeah, the ribs.

Of course, now I can't remember the second one, so I'm gonna say chili.

Im well, harvity.

We rank our guest performance on a scale of zero to one thousand doves named after the Lady Gaga b side one thousand doves, and I mean, I have to say it's yeah.

I have to say, I'm like the idea that I would ever that either of us would ever have the power to give to like give Parvety a low score, like we would feel.

Like I did get a low score.

Oh my god, don't even say that that I have.

So you're already you're playing mine games again, So you're you're full of deceit.

It's crazy, you guys.

I am being myself.

Oh my god, that's true.

She's never been more herself than she is in this moment.

You know, I know you have all people.

I'm gonna do something really radical because I'm feeling so kooky crazy, huh.

One thousand and one doves.

Whoa, whoa?

And I actually have to agree.

This has never happened.

This has never happened before.

We've actually we've gotten a thousand doves a few times, but never one thousand and one.

This is a new record.

This is a new record.

I feel like I have wings.

I mean the way that I feel like potentially I'm like on some sort of hallucinogenic right now.

I feel like euphoric in a way that it's like not healthy, it's not right.

I have to come clean.

Oh yeah, I have Like there's something I don't I went to the doctor when they told me this, and they said that I just have this Pheromonia oozes out of my skin.

It makes people high.

It's similar to psilocybin.

It just oozes out.

I can't help it.

Well, as long as a doctor said it, you've been diagnosed with medical charisma.

Still a cybin quality air coming out of my mouth.

Interesting, So I'm curious.

This is fascinating.

You know, you're not allowed on planes anymore because the pilots.

Actually I can only fly private.

That's it.

You can only fly private.

And then everyone there has to have like a full on hazmat suit because otherwise, But it's.

Like, why would you do that to yourself?

Don't you want to be hot?

Say that?

Yeah, but it's like if you're flying, if you're flying a plane, suddenly you're ingesting the pheromone.

Suddenly you're like you get overconfident.

You think you can do a flip on the plane.

That's why I can.

Actually the only person who is immune Peter Webber from Traders.

Oh he is he got vaccinated?

Yeah?

He I don't know what.

He's got some kind of immunity.

It's very sort of like kryptonite.

I don't know what it is.

Will say.

Watching that season, I was like, why isn't he falling in love?

I was like hello, it was so rude.

It was so rude, and like I like you like lying, like being like no, I'm not like, just trust me, work with me, and he like wouldn't I.

Was like no, one says no.

I was like crying, Okay.

The Traders is it You're like there all day and you have to like lie all day long.

Oh my god, I can't you sleep for like two hours?

It sounds exhausting.

It's insane.

I had dinner with Janelle because you know, I went to the Mall of America, Oh straightest place on the planet many times.

What well, I have a family in Minneapolis.

Okay, yeah, I've been.

Wow, I couldn't.

I tried to walk around and I was like, it's a nightmare.

I had dinner with Janelle though from Traders, Who's she's very funny.

She had that fight with uh Sandra at the round table.

Yes, and Janelle's like every time I would go back to my room, I'd have my notebook and I'd be writing notes about who it could be, and I was like, yeah, I didn't do that.

I was kind of more of a feelings based.

It was like, that's why I was such a bad faithful like trader acting like a faithful because I could not get into that mindset where I'm like, who could be the trader?

Because I was like, it's me, just don't look at my face.

There was a squinting sommerch.

Squinting was so funny.

There was there was one elimination where like they didn't show your or one banishment but they didn't show your face.

And I was like, it was like near when you were eliminated, and I was waiting desperately for the reaction because I was like, how could she possibly play this off?

Like it is so clear that it was me.

I was not playing it off.

It was so obvious.

I was like, and that's in my book.

I'm like, I just like froze like a deer in the headlights.

It seems really hard to be a trader on that show.

Also, all the guys on the show, the straight guys, were like, oh, I would rather do it than be a trader.

It was I'm always This is where deception is queer, where people understand it's like a fun game to try to deceive you.

It's so that's the whole game.

And straight guys are like, uh, I will die with honor.

Yeah, you won't catch me canoodling my secretary at a culplay concertantle.

Well extra, Okay, here's the thing.

Straight guys don't understand that lying and deception can be fun.

Like yeah, it's it's like they it's like they do lie, but about things that get people killed.

They would never just lie because it's like a fun thing to do.

Yeah, that's what needs to change.

Also, could you see in my eyes when you first said Peter the way, I was like, I have no idea.

You were totally yeah.

That's why I elaborated.

And I really appreciate that.

I'm bad with names.

Yeah, but I could tell because we because you're very cash and you're very You've got some flow, sure, like really good flow.

Oh, I'll take it.

And then when I you've got mail aol?

Is that Meg Ryan sending your guys a note?

That Geyer straight?

Tom Hanks, Yeah.

It's Tom Hanks hair straight.

Great question.

I want to go back.

You were telling you how an amazing flow.

Okay, yeah, you have such flow.

And then when I said Peter Webber, You're like you stiffened.

It was like I'd called you out.

I mean, I do think that, you know, but I'm on your side.

I'm your ally.

Of course I'm going to help you.

We're working together.

Sam, you don't.

It's Sam doesn't have a great poker face, and actually neither do I I think that's I don't.

It's it's we immediately.

You can immediately tell if we're uncomfortable, which is honestly an amazing equality to have.

If you're a great you're a friend, yes, a friend for a comedians.

Yeah, it's even hard.

I have to say, as someone in at a Hollywood event sometimes whereon be like I love you, like you're my best friend, I'm like, where we barely know each other.

Oh my god, you can't even be like oh yeah, oh I'm.

So bad at being like yes, or like they can they can smell it on me that It's like.

There was a real house wife there last night wearing a silver beaded gown.

Do you know the one I'm talking about.

I saw her long blonde hair.

I'm not super familiar with the Housewives.

Neither am I.

And she was a big fan.

She came up to me and she was like, oh my girl, I love you.

And she was talking to my friend Donald at the bar.

And can you believe they had a bar?

It was hiding it was Donald.

It was that bar.

It was Donald Trump.

Right the after.

I am actually i feel like I'm going to.

Let's start that rumor.

I feel it was he.

At the Culture Awards, Yeah, Donald Trump actually spoke.

He presented.

Yeah, yeah, best.

Makeup, coolbe we presented together.

They had an amazing like couple's comedy bit.

It was cute, It was cute.

It was so cute.

You have to hand it to him, like he was funny at the Cultural Award.

It's like, yes, I didn't vote for him, but like he has what it dates like he got it.

It was his best work, it was his best work, and he was his most authentic self.

Yeah, so I think that fella.

Hate on that authenticity is King Parvety.

Do you feel like you're as a reality superstar you're complicit and Donald Trump becoming president because he.

I have thought about this.

I have thought about it really, yes, because he, you know, kind of blew up through the Mark Burnett channel, which is my channel as well.

Oh, Mark Barnett arted Survivor.

Like, so I mostly blame Mark Burnett.

I can't be held accountable because I originally tried out for the Amazing Race and they just put me where I belonged on Survivor.

That's not your fault, So I'm sorry.

Like I have been doing my part for women because if I wasn't there, who would speak for the women?

I'll say, So, I feel like I'm balancing the scales.

Okay, so skirting accountability is what I'm hearing.

Wait except that, yeah, five minutes on the topic.

Yes, Parverty.

What is a straight topic you have brought to us today?

I want to talk about hunting.

Love that.

What do you feel is straight about hunting?

Hunting?

It's well, first of all, guns and guns, camo, like dirt, like being in a dirt perch.

Oh, a dirt perch?

Have you hunted before?

I have?

Really?

Okay, I dated a Navy seal sniper.

What, oh my god, straight straightest man I ever?

Actually, he might.

I don't know.

I can't say by reveal.

No, I can't say he's pretty.

I'm sure he's straight anyway.

So yeah, but before that, even before that, I'm a girl from the South.

So I grew up in Florida, then moved to Georgia, and in Georgia, hunting is sort of like a way of life for a lot of people.

So my first boyfriend in high school, his name was tr Busby, Tommy ray Tommy ray Busby, Tommy his mom looks like Reba McIntyre.

Tommy ray Busby.

Yes, that is a cartoon.

He was here.

He was so cute, but he would wear camo, and he took me to Bucarama.

Okay, it is a hunting convention called buccarama like deer when you shoot, like a buck is the one that you're trying to shoot.

So it's like all these straight guys coming over to this convention like in a warehouse, in like a corn cob pipe warehouse that they turned over sideways and then they just have boosts and boots of like hunting gear, camo, like orange best because you don't want to get shot.

You don't want what's that guy's name, Dan dan.

Quail, Yes, Quail dan Quail, Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, somebody got shot.

Somebody got shot hunting, right, of course, some old straight white man.

I like the I have always loved the aesthetics of hunting.

I have found, uh, the camo.

I've always wanted to wear the bright orange vest about.

You should, but you should wear it with just a pair of cutoff dnim short.

Well yes, well, of course, give the girl something to talk about.

I have been now, I've been friends with Sam for so long, and he so much of his sensibility is appropriating straight esthetics that it takes me a while to remember that they are originally straight.

Like Sam, it's like it's hunting, it's camo, it's cowboy, it's like all these things.

It's even like frat aesthetics and like yeah, and flannel and whatever, and I just think I associate all them with Sam so much that I'm I do have to remember, oh right, there are people that are non ironically wearing camo to kill animals.

Yes, that's they do it on purpose.

The killing, Like everything about it sounds amazing, except for the part where you actually have to pull the trigger and kill.

Okay, and then not only that, you then have to go collect the dead animal and drag it across the dirt with its bloody trail, and then do you know what they do with it?

They're like so proud.

They bring it back to their log cabin in the woods, and then they hang it up on a hook upside down and let the blood drain out of it onto a concrete floor like a murder scene like Dexter.

It's gonna make me throw up.

To be honest, I had this thing.

I like, there was like a fear I had as a child that someone would be like, you have to go hunting with me, and I would have to be like, Okay, I'm gonna go hunting with you.

And I was like, I like played the fantasy out of my head where I'm like, oh god, I'm gonna have to make the decision like do I pull the trigger or not?

Yeah, And it's always like no one's asked me to do that.

It's not really part of my culture.

But but like, if you're saying yes to going hunting and you want to win, you're gonna probably pull the trick.

Well, the only the only queer hunting I think is if you're using like an old school bow and.

Arrow, oh, or a taser.

Should do taser?

Just Gay Guy Taser Night.

Okay, y'all, gig guye Taser Night.

Who's coming.

We're just tasing a bunch of gay guys.

No, it's perfect because then you can do the most dangerous game.

You can hunt each other.

Yes, yeah, and you're just tell.

Me about it.

I always wanted to drop someone with a taser.

It would be so good.

Yeah, you'd be really good at that.

You should actually start like Gay Guy Taser Facility.

It was like like a laser Taser Night hosted by post poverty like sold out in one second.

Yeah, yeah, it's drag.

Also it's dragon.

Also honestly, let's get Bravo on the horn.

They just saw you last night at the Cultural Awards.

I'm sure they would like I get to email my agent and you're like, okay, we have abbot down, I have my suit.

Next stop, Gay Guy Taser Night.

It's sponsored by Pringles.

Oh my god, I chose sprinkles as my iconic snack last night.

You were really bringing this full circle.

Yeah.

I am into that, but I don't want to close up taser.

I want the kind that like shoots out like silly putty.

Yeah strings, Yeah.

It's like, where's it going to go?

I don't know who's it gonna actually land on a.

Taser.

There's something so appealing about even being hit by it because I'm like, okay, like.

What would it look like?

Like you're not gonna die, I'm gonna die, Like it'll herb.

It so temporary, I mean, I mean, let's say it.

It's kink adjacent, like I do want to it's kinson.

It's also like, I'm someone who loves spicy food and I feel like this is like adjacent to spicy food.

Okay, get this, Harvedy.

Here's a huge move for you.

It's like hot ones, but you're tasing people instead of having them taste different hot sauces.

I think this is a YouTube series.

Can agent in the room right?

The say, Jonathan, Jonathan, you are leaving on the table.

But you guys, I have a real question about this.

Please, if you wore rubber boots, would it not affect you, like if you got taste?

Oh, because it would like absorbed the taste.

Like do people start walking around town in rubber boots just in.

Case they get tased at the big show?

Dishwashing gloves?

Rubber boots?

Does that protect?

It's like Meryl Streep is showing up to your interview show to promote her big series at you know of you and you have to taste her, but you're showing up in rubber boots and and.

And like a parking cone.

But she like pretends she like puts a wig over the parking cone, so she pretends she's not.

She like pretends she's just like really tough.

She's like, oh, that didn't feel like anything actually, And everyone's like, wow, Meryl Street's amazing.

She got tased the highest level and barely reacting.

And I love this.

I mean, I have to say, prison, this is what it's all leading to, Like all those like videos they do where they do lie detector tests on celebrities, like all the hot ones like Chicken Shop Date it's all leading to literally them being tased.

It's just this is perfect for me specifically because of my brand from Survivor.

It's like, you just you got to endure the pain to get whatever it is that your goal is.

And if it is to sell movies or books or your TV show you're coming to promote something, you gotta suffer for it.

I mean, I honestly think the weird the worst part about this is that it's like completely possible.

No, it's gonna happen.

It's fully going to happen.

Yeah, it's like and I'm going to tune inn.

In.

We had co producers because it was our idea.

I know, Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan write that downt that Donald you might email after the show created by I want to create it by credit.

I want to create it by credit, and then I want to have my own little segment.

Have you thought you're created by credit in Camo block letters?

Oh yeah, when was the last time you went hunting?

Oh me, No, I went one time with that Navy seal.

Did you shoot anything?

No?

No, no, no, But he gave me the binoculars and he was like, I found the elk that I've been looking for forever.

And I was like, poor thing.

Like he's going to get him because he's a sniper.

He's trained by the Navy, like he's actually quite good.

And so he gives me the binoculars and he's like, Okay, read the numbers off the binoculars because they're like technoculars.

So I'm like, oh, should I read fake numbers?

Should I tell him seventy two?

I was twenty?

But anyway, and then he shot it and then it was too far away I couldn't see, and I was like, yes, he missed.

Then we walk over the hill and he did not miss.

Oh no.

I was really quite upset about it.

And also then afterwards they're telling these stories and these guys are laughing in the van and they're like, ha ha ha.

We did like a pig call because there's these wild pigs all over Texas in this area, and he's like, yeah, they're just they're a pest.

So we just come with machine guns.

I'm glad you had that reaction because it's working machine guns.

Charlotte's Web.

That's not right.

They're sweet, they're cute.

Pigs are cute.

Let them let them run?

Like what are they doing to you?

Do you live in this forest, sir?

Like you have a log cabin that is so villain coded.

It was really dark, and they were like, we're doing good for the world, like shooting all these pigs, and I was like, absolutely not.

I cannot get behind.

This, can I tell you?

I think I'm realizing a bias I have in myself where when you're talking about killing a pig, you're talking about killing a deer.

I'm like, that's horrible.

But if you talk about shooting a bird out of the sky, I'm like, go off.

I'm like, get what's yours?

Diva?

Like, oh my god, there's birds where I'm like, let them.

Let them all die.

That's why you have a taxidermy duck in your house?

Oh that's true, because I don't see it as a real being.

You're like, doctor duck dead.

How dare you?

I love birds?

I really I feel like birds are birds and I are very closely related.

Yeah, I feel very connected to birds.

I could see it, but like sort of the you know, you moved around the lot, like the migrational patterns.

It's like like not having roots, like going going from flight, going from island to island, just deceiving various men.

My migration, migration paths, my maiden call.

George, do you relate to any animal?

This is a really good question because I have.

One, which one.

I relate to animals that like are kind of only aesthetically pleasing and sort of useless, like like a flamingo.

It's like, surely a flamingo cannot like really survive, Like it's like its legs are way too skinny.

It's like so it's like pink.

It's just sort of like doing a little dance, or like a penguin.

Like I like animals that feel.

Very Flamingos are very closely connected to queens.

I did not because Alice in Wonderland, the Queen of Hearts, uses a flamingo to play.

Okay, that's true.

So that's a great point.

That's like I just watched that My daughter is in a That's why I have to go pick her up because she's in an Alice in Wonderland production right now.

So we just watched the show, and the flamingos are a critical part.

No, they are regal It's like they are.

Like with such seriousness, indispensable to me.

It's like flamingos are regal and useless.

And that's exactly how I feel like.

I'm like interesting.

It's like to what end No one knows.

They always stand on one foot, them standing on two legs.

Never why, They're always having fun.

They're always sort of like, look what I can do.

Yeah, they're showing off.

They're showing off.

They're like, I'm pink, I'm skinny, and I can stand on one leg.

Original, supermodel.

Original.

I've always been a dolphin coded Yeah, I.

See yes, And you're a packet.

Oh.

I love to socialize, you.

Know, would you play with like humans and other creatures or would you stick to your own kind?

Oh that's an interesting question and a trap.

Of course, I would be open to all species.

Oh my god, you walk right, and this was your chance to prove your loyalty.

Damn, there's no winning.

You're so you have so much experience in this that that is true.

That is how that would happen.

Yeah, that is wild.

Are you just all birds or any bird in particular?

Well, I love like hummingbirds and I have I see hawks all the time.

I feel like very kind of spiritually connected to hawks.

If anything big and intense is going on in my life, I usually will look up in the most random place and see a hawk, like sitting on a telephone, bowler like flying over my car or something.

But I'm very sort of like woo woo like that.

I see like lady bugs, and I'm like, oh, that's a good sign.

Yeah, I I think that's a fun quality to you.

I'm trying to think if I like what things I think I see, and I don't have any which is an amazing podcast I have.

I always go opposite.

Like people say black cats are bad luck, so I always think they're good luck.

Yeah, I feel that.

And I always like whatever, like literally whatever we're supposed to think, like opening an umbrella indoors or like breaking a mirror.

I'm always I feel like that like prevents the evil eye rather than invites it.

It's like it's good that something bad happened because that means the other bad thing won't happen.

Ooh, I hear you.

You know what I mean.

I feel that way about breaking a glass, Yes, like if I shatter it because I'm a little lag kind of I can be very accident prone.

I mean I ran into a bowl on the way over here.

I'm like, oh shoot, I felt a bump and I was like, dang, I was just trying to get a meter parking spot.

Oh you know.

Yeah, it's tough.

But if I like move my arm rapidly across the counter and at last flies off the shelf and shatters in three million pieces, I'm like, huh, lucky day.

I know what you mean.

When I do.

When I make a mistakes, sometimes I'm like, oh good, I'm like banking negative points so that I'll like, they'll get rewarded something I think.

Yeah.

I mean, it's literally like when it's like rain on your wedding day, It's like good luck because that's the bad thing that happened.

But then you know the marriage will be good or whatever.

Right are you?

Guys like Brene Brown talks about foreboding joy feeling of like you're so joyful and everything's working out great and you're really happy, and then you have this pit in your stomach that you're like, it's all going to go to shit.

Yeah.

I have that big time.

When I have a string of good things, I'm like retrow, Oh no, yeah, I'm like, how is this going to come crashing down?

And then does it?

Yeah?

Do you think that's your own self fulfilling?

Probably?

Yeah?

Probably.

I remember being like being a teen and having a very almost zen like understanding that everything went up and down and just being like when I was at my lowest, being like, I know, next week's going to be good because because this week was bad.

That's very very zen Buddhist.

I know.

And then I lost it completely and now I'm just sort of like stressed all the time.

What do you think about that?

Because the block is ticking well, there's even something about you know, this podcast is mostly about New York versus LA, and there's something about living in LA where I'm like, coming from New York, I was.

Like, wait, this isn't right.

I'm supposed to be suffering.

I'm supposed to be suffering at all times.

Yeah, because that's how I deserve things from the suffering.

It's the New York way.

Yeah, that's what bonds people.

It's true.

And here everyone's like maybe you just are comfortable.

Like actually I never have to check the weather.

It's always good.

It's crazy and I'm happy and I'm still scared that I'm not suffering.

I'm like, Also, La is the land of magical thinking.

That's true.

Everyone here is into crystals and astrology and tarot cards.

I'm with my people.

Due to times, I think we should do our final.

Yeah, we should do our finals.

I mean I obviously could talk for hours and it's killing me that I'm not there.

But George really really feels like you are here.

It does.

Yeah, you haven't missed a beat.

And yeah, I feel like you are the JumboTron.

I am theron and we are having an affair with you.

Yeah, and you're you've caught us.

You've caught us in a in a torrid little emotional moment.

Oh my god.

Viva Levita starts playing crescendo.

This feels like it's getting serious, like very Barbara Walters.

Yeah, our final segment is what have you done wrong.

Of Our final segment is called shout Outs, and in this segment we paymash is a grand straight tradition of the radio shout out, So we shout out anything that we are enjoying.

People, places, things, ideas.

We make them up on the spot.

George and I will go first.

I just thought of one.

Do you want to go first.

I can go first.

Great what's up freaks and losers and survivor heads and trader heads all around this great country of ours.

I want to give a shout out to the film Unfaithful Form.

I want to say two thousand and one.

I maybe was inspired by I maybe was inspired by the JumboTron of it all and wanted to watch the movie about being unfaithful and cheating.

And when I tell you the entire plot of this movie that someone was unfaithful, it was so refreshing.

These days, everyone's polyamorous, everyone has all these rules and is like keeping up with spreadsheets.

This was just a married couple and one of them had an affair.

Bring back simple movies like that.

I have a really difficult time keeping up with these plots.

I still haven't seen Mickey seventeen.

I need a movie where that's just a couple and one of them has an affair.

Diane Lane very underrated actress.

I don't know what is going on with her.

I think she's like in the midway point between being prestige and being not prestige, so people don't know what to do with her.

I think that's sexist and I think they need to put her in the next Marvel movie.

Stat and Richard gear Legend.

Obviously, I had the time of my life, and I think they should remain unfaithful featuring the stars of today.

Wow, George, I think that's so beautiful.

And I have to tell you that movie was like a bit of a sexual.

Awakening for me.

Like watching that movie, I remember being because of the friendly guy.

I remember there being like a really hot sex scene and being like, whoa, what is this?

Like I watched it asleepover and I was like, uh oh yeah, sleepovers will get you.

Sleepovers will get you ever time.

I mean it, Everyone's.

Having their sexual awakening in a closet at a sleepover.

It's literally true.

Okay, I have a controversial one.

Okay, go what's up freak cliss and perverts around the globe.

I want to give a huge shout out to get this.

Male musicians hear me out as a gay guy.

I am often standing the girls.

I am standing the girls left and right, and sometimes I forget that male musicians exist.

This week, I.

Have been like, wait a minute, men have been making music this whole time.

So I've been sort of diving into the things that straight guys listen to, like say Alex g and McGhee and even I listened to the new Justin Bieber album, which was produced heavily by McGhee, and I am is that how you say his name?

Whatever?

I'm just learning.

I'm just learning about this culture mcg.

And I just want to say that I feel so connected to straight male musicians right now.

I don't even know if whatever.

I don't know their sexualities, but I know that they are men, and I think I'm like, you know what, they have some talent as well, and I'm trying to expand my mind and not I will obviously stand the girls till the day I die, but I'm trying to open my mind more to male musicians once again.

So shout out to the boys.

Xoxo.

Wow, Wow, oh my god.

I am excited.

I want to go to a music festival with you in your orange bets when you're cut off dunim shorts.

Oh you know, I will be looking like a little country slut.

Let's go see the beeps, Let's do it.

I'm all in.

I'm actually I am all in.

Yeah you should go.

Yeah?

Can I taste him from the front row?

I'm gonna drop you to your knees.

Oh my god, I would love nothing more.

Get ready, Yeah, I have one?

Go off?

Oh my god.

Well I was listening to you guys like, oh what am I gonna say?

But I think I got one?

Okay, Hey, free exclosers and homos.

I want to shout out to my girl, Pamela Anderson.

Yes, yes, you know.

She is not being given as much credit as she deserves.

She's the original slut, the og hot playboy, barbed wire like, the bleach blonde hair, the big hair, the gorgeous the like overplucked eyebrows.

Bring them back.

We miss them from the nineties.

I overtweezed my eyebroth.

They never grew back.

Am I Pamela Anderson?

No?

Do I want to be?

Yes, she's moved away, she went through court.

She has a documentary out.

It's good.

Oh.

I wished the Pamela Anderson documentary and I was floored.

I really I want to be this woman's best friend.

She's a role model in icon for women everywhere.

She went on and did Chicago, she performed in a musical.

The woman is a worker.

She's devoted to her craft.

She works hard.

She overcame Tommy Lee clearly has a way to overcome a narcissistic kind of psychopath.

Like she's she's grown, she's evolved, she's a strong woman, and she's a role model for women everywhere.

And I for one think that she needs to be glorified maybe on Mount Rushmore put her face carbon and granted i'd Canadian, but I think, amazing message.

That would be an amazing message, a beautiful shout out.

Can I tell you something amazing?

I went to the opening night of Chicago with Pam Anderson with Matt Rogers.

No, how was it?

It was so good?

I was so jealous.

I actually, I mean obviously everyone in our like age group love Pam Anderson, and I think, like it's so fun to watch her like come into her own in this stage.

But you know, I didn't know if she was gonna be good at singing and dancing, like not everyone has every talent.

But then you just remember she is someone who has done so many things and at each point works so hard to do them well.

Like she's sort of like if the task is acting, she'll work at acting.

If the task is like being a reality star or being a model, or whatever, and I just think with Chicago.

She was like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna commit to this, and she was like a passable Broadway person.

I mean, how do you be a passable Broadway person?

Like Cow?

I would be my pant.

I would flow up so hard for her.

I'd be like low, like.

The idea of doing anything on Broadway, I'm like, no, no, no, no, it's I feel similarly about hunting.

I'm like, just so, don't make me, don't make me go up there.

No, but because you know you would do it though, you'd twinkle toes your way all the way across this taste you.

Wow, I mean party, This has been absolutely electric.

We are so much money beyond honored.

I want to I'm going to read the full title of your book.

Parvety's book is called Nice Girls Don't Win.

How I burned it all down to Claim My Power by Privety Shallow.

It is available everywhere.

And this has been a complete and utter delight.

Yeah, thank you so much for coming on.

This was really amazing.

I loved it.

Thank you.

FOW.

We'll stay in touch.

Yes, no, Jonathan has my email.

Okay, bye bye, hey bye, go get your Faery podcast.

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