When black owned brands get sold to like these big companies, we do give black owned businesses.

It's almost like a dig to them, and I don't feel like it should be when they are bought out by a larger company, because that is the goal.

At the same time, I am also wondering how do we hold those that are winning in that respect accountable by way of keeping being breeties the same because once they are then owned by those largely white owned companies, they then start to cheapen the ingredients using stuff that isn't ideal for us people that look like us.

Hey, Va Fan, welcome to Brown Ambition.

It's your girl, Mandy Money.

I am here with two incredible co hosts at the Brown Table, one returning Brown Table member and one Brown Table virgin.

Ooh we Awn.

Poper Brown Table, Jerry, I've never been more excited.

Let's make it or do y'all want to introduce yourselves?

Alexa, you start since you know you're og at this point.

You know it's so funny is I started last time and I was a virgin to the BFM then as well.

But that's okay, let's do this thing.

I'm you're a veteran.

Now tell me exactly.

I'm excited.

I love this.

Hello everyone, my name is Alexa Claire Brooks Major.

I work at the Financial Diet as our creative project manager, So it's really just my job to make sure all of our beautiful creative minds come together and get things on the calendar on time.

I love getting to be here with all three of you, with all two of you, with all three of us all together.

You're on a foursome.

We had four we did.

That's why I was like, say for the three anyway, Mia, Tommy, who are you?

Who are you?

Mia?

Hi?

It's me and the Virgin.

So excited.

I am Mia Bradham Nolan.

Hi.

Everyone, so excited to be here.

I I am a writer.

I work at Shondaland.

By day, I am a member of the digital team over there doing everything on shondaland dot com.

And by eve I am a writer of a substack in Deep with Me, a breb of Nolan, where I basically talk about pop culture, but it's not timely.

It's about what I'm passionate about.

So like in the Middle Summer, I write about like Queen Latifa and why why can't we have our run of Queen Latifa rom comms again, it's like, that's that's old news.

But to meet baby, it's it's new news.

This is what I think about.

So love culture, love pop culture, love entertainment.

That's just a little bit about me.

I didn't know you had a substack.

That's so cool.

Yes, it's fun.

We love you.

Got to send me the links so I can put it in the show notes that everybody can go subscribe.

I will.

It's a fun time, Okay, wonderful.

Well, y'all we made new friends in our twenties and thirties.

Because I'm the old I'm like the old lady of this group.

I feel like, right, I keep it together.

I don't know, I'm seventy inside.

I.

Identify.

I've all seen the tiktoks where it's like, you know, we should start normalizing looking thirty three, and the person I can't tell if it's meant to be a joke, like they're clearly they don't.

I don't want to judge, that's my point, but everyone in the comments usually rips them a new one, saying like, oh, don't worry, you look past your age.

You know.

It's really like I don't know why women are doing that.

I love this world.

It's great.

It's so safe, it's so safe for us.

It's so cozy, you know, so comfortable.

Apparently Anne Hathaway got a facelift, Like great, awesome, there's lip and she's my age almost, so you know, there's nowhere safe.

But y'all we met at a party.

We were at the same party, which, as an introvert myself is my living nightmare going to Typically it has been not so much anymore because growth.

We couldn't tell.

You were literally like, your smile made me feel so welcome.

Mandy, you have no And I just want to set the scene for the audience here, right because like so I was coming as my boss's guest, right, so I was already like I gotta be on my best chief here.

I've gotta like show up and be amazing.

I don't know why I was worried.

I'm such a charismatic person.

Anyway, I get there, Na is already speaking with my boss, Chelsea Fagan, and they're having a lovely conversation.

I dive in.

I'm like, oh, black girls unite, let's chat.

What's up, Mia, what's your name?

Who were you, and so we re viving because Mia has the most beautiful, energetic, magnetic personality and at a lot of these kind of functions, I think we're so accustomed to people being very much like, here's my elevator pitch, here's what I do.

What do you do?

Oh, you don't do more than me?

Oh okay, well I gotta go get a drink and like ignore you.

Like I feel like a lot of the networking feels like that, but between us three, it was automatic.

Let's just get like, get rid of the veil, get rid of the masks that grin and lie, and just chat and get to know each other.

And then that became such a beautiful friendship.

I'm very happy.

I actually uttered the words can we be friends?

Yes?

You did, Yes, you literally did.

Beautiful and then and then she followed up, yeah, we actually met outside of the group chat.

It can happen, be a fam it can so go to the freaking event, I went by myself, even though I did know a couple of people there, still and by myself.

But yeah, by the time I by the time I started talking to y'all was late in the evening.

I thought y'all were already like besties.

I didn't realize y'all had just met.

We were giggling a lot.

Oh my god.

No, thanks to both of you too, because I and thanks for saying my smile, because that's my coping mechanism for being so anxious about like social events is.

I literally had to tell myself, put on the smile.

People will be happy to see you.

True, especially with this gorgeous lip she has.

She always has such nice like me.

I'm like, oh, I just thought you can't help, but look, yeah, you know, I just want to talk.

Mandy is someone that you look at and you literally just go She's magnificent, Like, she's amazing.

I want to be in her orbit.

I want to know her.

Yeah, you have you have a quiet gravity about you.

That's that's for sure.

Yeah.

All the time I had the opposite of quiet gravity.

I was quiet.

I was trying to quietly repel because I was so socially anxious that I would just look so mean like I rested.

I resting on purpose just to just to repel.

But that only got me so far.

Things got much better when I started to like myself a lot more.

But thanks y'all, Yeah, thank you.

It's Leo season, so that also could be having something to do with that.

My birthday is in a couple of days, in August Leo.

Can we just just difference.

I feel like July Leo versus August Leo and versus Male Leo very different, also very different, very different.

I cannot talk to July Leo, man, I can't do it.

But August Leo, anybody, August Leo, anybody Holada, how are you?

Let's be if it's good.

You know, I'm actually traveling.

I'm gonna be at the NABJ convention in Cleveland.

I leave on my birthday, which as a LEO, it's really hard to focus on something that has nothing to do with myself necessarily.

It just feel like even now, I'm like iw getting up early for a flight on my birthday to not go somewhere cool.

But we're gonna.

Pretend like my birthday is really starting next week.

That's what we're gonna do.

But what it's a fun one.

I'm turning thirty eight, thirty eight, congratulating, thank you, which means I'm officially in my start planning for your fortieth birthday.

Now kind of face start saying idea that because we got to start saving.

We got to tell your friends so they start saving.

You know, right, is this gonna be a destination birthday?

Is this gonna be a destination vibe?

What's going on?

Oh?

I would like it to be.

Yeah, even I kind of live in a destination, living in you know, near New York City.

That's nice.

But I was sinking last night.

I was like, Belie, no, Kenya, you know what it is.

I want to go back to Argentina, like, you know, just crazy.

My husband's like, can we just put the kids to bed?

Like I can't.

You know, what are you talking about?

But maybe also like act three, you know, Act three, Beyonce might be out.

Oh my god, I'm like, what if the stars aligned?

I don't want to wait two years for her next tour?

Right, what if you start?

You know?

That could be an easy nights inside.

You know, imagine y'all get a box saying, so live rate in her box.

That's amazing the whole situation, get a nice dinner and beforehand.

I love this and you can still do destination.

She's going to perform cool places, get a dress custom made.

It's not as expensive as people think.

I don't know why, everyone says it's so expensive.

It's really nice.

I've seen some dresses.

Oh I paid like one fifty for this.

I paid two hundred for this.

Go get yourself a custom made dress, okay, and like ball out, like, oh you deserve it.

Oh my goodness, I love so.

I love no man.

But thanks for mentioning the lip.

I wore this lip color on purpose because y'all may not know this, but August is Black Owned Business Month in America, and this is the lip Bar, which is oh period, we love.

She was also at that at that event that we were at.

What's her last name, Melissa, I had no idea.

Melissa, my Detroit queen.

Hold, I'm looking it up right now.

Are you also looking it up?

I am.

I'm literally Melissa Butler.

Melissa Butler from the lip Bar.

Yes, six Black Owned is a woman owned lip brand.

If y'all don't know, you gotta know.

And you know, we were worried about Melissa and the lip Bar because when everyone started boycotting Target, that's one of her biggest presences in store.

But you can go to the Lipbar dot com.

That's where I've been getting my my fixes of all my favorite colors.

This is rich Auntie.

It's one of my favorites.

When I'm wearing like a jewel tone.

I'm obsessed.

Yeah.

Well, we also love Hot Mama and Boss Lady and yeah they have amazing they have like little lip kits.

So maybe I can finally nail the ombre look.

Oh yes, I have faith.

Yeah, but so it's a good I actually went to my when I was preparing for the show.

I went to my Perplexity, my AI, and I was like, tell me some good news happening in the world.

Tell me why none of the headlines were about the US.

Smelling New York karma is so bad.

We have to get out now.

Goodness literally laughs, like India seeing a boom and renewable energy, medical breakthroughs in the UK.

Okay, got it, but the lip But Black Owned Business Month in August, do y'all want to spot?

Are there any like favorite black owned brands that y'all love that you patronize or want to shout out?

Okay, I feel like I'm a local girlly.

I love walking around my neighborhood, walking around.

I live in New York.

I live in downtown Brooklyn.

Love walking around, finding new businesses, there is.

I don't know if everybody's heard.

I feel like they've kind of become bigger and bigger.

But Cloudy Donut Co.

It's black owned donuts and I love it.

It's just in the middle of a white neighborhood.

It's the middle of Brooklyn Heights and it's like this black owned donut business.

And remember finding it and I was like, what in the world.

It is so good, it's so simple, the food is so good.

And can I tell you they have donuts.

I feel like they have to eventually be on like what is it like gold Belly when it shifts Nashally.

I think they get on that soon.

But they have the full sized donuts with them.

They also have many donuts because you know, sometimes you don't want a big one, you just want a small one.

And they're good.

They even have one to like margarita flavor, and they have a tequila shot like an an eye dropper going into the donuts like yeah, it's and they come up with it's like new flavors like every week.

It's so creative and so amazing.

But I'm really I'm really into food.

I feel like it's it's food for me.

It's like black owned food spots like island Shack as a Kurbbean restaurant.

I love near for I got to taste their food.

Island Shack at at the amazing event that's in It's in Brooklyn in the winter.

It's like a black owned, women owned business event and it's like in usually a warehouse.

Oh she did that.

I've heard of that.

I haven't been great.

They did.

They did a food event in April that I missed, but yeah, definitely around the holidays when you're shopping for Alexa's birthday gift.

She did that, did done.

So that's a good shout out actually to Renee Blewett who founded that.

She's been on She's been on the show before along with Lakeisha Key, Doctor Key Holman.

They were both on a show that I did back in February.

I want to say about businesses that support black owned businesses.

So she did that as one of them.

And then doctor Key Hollam Hollman she owns.

She founded like a curated black owned business space in Atlanta, like a physical space where you can shop different products and faiths.

Really cool.

There's also wait, there's a bookstore called Lizzi's Book Book bar that's also in Brooklyn, and it's black owned woman, black owned bookseller.

I meansay less, Oh my god, it's so cool.

It's like the it's the coolest bookshop I've ever been to.

And they have a huge bar and it's like those like long bars you see in movies that it's like marble, but it's like a bookstore.

It's really Yeah, it's cool.

Can you fame again, Yes, Lizz's book Bar.

Grab a friend, bring out like a stack of Uno cards.

Just in the afternoon there read a little play some Uno.

It was a perfect launch there, I think.

But I was only a guest that so I didn't get to go as like a patron.

But I remember that when you said the bar, I was like, oh, I know what you're talking about.

I've been to that place.

It's legit, it's great.

Okay, I'm done.

Those are my three, my holy trinity right now.

Okay, let me think so.

I was originally going to say the honeypot, but they I don't think they're black owned anymore.

I need to check that black founded.

Yes, I do love.

I'm not a woman that shies away from speaking about our periods or anything like that.

Their pads are some of the best I've ever used in my life.

Not warning to anyone who's ever used them.

They are quote unquote season they are they will season you down there.

Sounds like it's gonna be spicy and hurt.

I know I have questions of like what a season you mean?

It depends on how sensitive you are.

At first I was like, did I just mess everything up for myself?

And what's going on?

I need to go to the doctor.

And then actually it was the most soothing feeling.

It's like, you go look dis like, it's just perfect.

So I will say I love that, Like their overnight pads are phenomenal, the lavender infused ones fantastic, Absolutely obsessed.

But as for companies that are still currently Black owned, I will say Black Girl's sunscreen, I use it ever get me day every day.

I love Black Girls Sunscreen.

Oh my goodness, because like I don't I'm not huge on one day.

I will learn.

One day, I will learn.

But I don't know how to do my makeup properly, like to do all of the like the lashes and like the contour, and that I just rely on good skin because like if I can just have some good skin I can get, I can get by.

So Black Girl's sunscreen makes it look like I'm wearing some type of notifying climber or something while also getting protection from the sun.

So I have something like what's it like, uh, discolouration and whatnot.

So it just helps with like making sure I'm not making me a bit worse.

So I love me some Black Girl sunscreen all day, every day, I will use it.

I'm obsessed with that stuff.

Well check the links, ba fan, because I'm gonna put check check the show notes.

Rather, we'll put links to all these businesses in the show notes, and then I want to hear from y'all.

I want to hear what are your favorite black owned businesses.

I could go on like there's this amazing cupcake shop here and called small Cakes, which it sounds like a cute little cupcake, but you have to really think about the title.

It's small Cakes.

So we're talking like, you know, like a New York bagel is like twice the size of a regular bagel.

Their cupcakes is huge.

They're so so good, so decadent, and I love the honeypot.

You know.

I wanted to say something about there's a lot of when when black owned brands get sold to like these big companies.

I don't know which company Honeypot was sold to.

I forget now, but I know Melissa from the Lipbar has talked about this.

We do give black owned businesses.

It's almost like a dig to them, and I don't feel like it should be when they are bought out by a larger company, because that is the goal, you know, And unfortunately, like there aren't a ton of massive publicly traded or even private organizations companies that are black owned that could then scoop up and acquire these smaller brands, and so until that happens, like I'm so happy for them, like go get your bag.

Like, you know, I've had the founder of Mayel Cosmetics on before, Monique Rodriguez, and she and I talked about this at length.

Ba Faan, y'all can go check out that episode.

It came out in the spring.

And so when Mael was was sold, like there was instant backlash for Mayel.

And I know there's been other stuff on the internet's like does does hair oil make your hair fall out?

All this stuff, all this you know, whether or not it's true or not, Like that's not for me to say, but there's just like a huge backlash in general, and I just feel like, instead we should be celebrating any sort of like well big major wealth and success business event for black owned businesses in general, and you know we can take to heart like yes, the business owners like as much as you can stay true to your core audience, stay true to like who you made the products for.

But I'm like, go get your back, like.

You know what, I appreciate you calling that out.

I appreciate that a lot.

And that's the kind of conversition I like to have is I say something like that and then you come back with the with the hold on, wait a minute.

I like that a lot, So thank you, I will say, Beatrice Sticks and your owner no, well, I didn't think about it.

I'm just looking direct, like let's just talk about it, like I love this.

Beatrice Sticks in the owner of the honeypop company did come out and speak because there was a lot of backlash about like the ingredients not ingredients, but like wait, what it takes to make the pads and like whatnot that the ingredients to change by what once they were sold to Compass diversified, which is like this huge company that owns a bunch of other companies, whole parent company situation.

And that's really more so what I would love to know your thoughts on both of you, actually, because I agree honestly, as you were saying, all I was thinking to myself was like, yeah, yeah, you're absolutely right, Like that is the goal.

Let's get some bad well circulating.

Let's go like I came up this incredible idea and it's helping millions of people and I get a payday.

Heck, yeah, absolutely, I want to support that, especially the person looks like me.

We're rooting for everybody black.

At the same time, I am also wondering how do we hold those that are winning in that respect accountable by way of keeping the ingredients the same, because once they are then owned by those those white, largely white owned companies, they then start to cheapen the ingredients using stuff that isn't ideal for us people that look like us.

Heyba, fam, we got to take a quick break, pay some bills, and we'll be right back.

That's such a difficult conversation to have of like, you won, and you were winning for us and are in still in many respects, let me not even use past tense.

But in the case for those companies where the ingredients do change, where though you do have certain negative impacts on the people they're originally helping, how do you have that conversation in a way that is reflective of the incredible success that they've reached while also holding accountable.

Hey, like, how can we make it flick ingredients stay the same, it doesn't cheap and we're not going for an ecpayday for the person who now owns the company.

Like, that's the kind of stuff that I do struggle.

I struggle with.

I have a challenge with.

I'm like, how do I approach this?

It doesn't I don't think it has to be a conversation.

I think it just has to be vote with your dollars in a way, like buy the products when they're good.

If they change, it sucks.

I will say, though, my Monique from Mayel, she was very like she was like, nobody knows at the end of the day, what's in our contracts as the founders.

And then so in Monique's case with Mayel, she's still the CEO, she still oversees all the hiring.

The company itself is still completely separate from the parent company, so they control the formulas.

That's all in their contract and in all the behind the scenes stuff.

So I would say it's I would I would just caution it is like using a broad brush to say that, Okay, the result of getting acquired is that the ingredients are going to change, They're going to cheapen them.

It's going to be like mass instead of being focused on you know, what's good for a black woman or black consumers, you know, specific needs, and just say that paying attention is good.

And if it does change, I think, you know, you can vote with your dollars.

I think in that case they're the founders.

I think transparency is really important.

So if and when sometimes products change because they have to change because there's new regulations on well, you know what we can actually use in the US.

Maybe there's formulas that they can use abroad that they can't use here here, you know, whatever the case may be.

But I would like, I like when founders are way more transparent and they're like, hey, so look here.

I don't want it to be some TikToker who's like, did you see and then it's ooming in on the ingredient list and it's like a whole expos I think that's really stupid if companies let a TikToker or a blogger or whoever unveil something, because then it looks like you're trying to get the you know, like pull the wool over our eyes a little bit.

So I think transparency like tell us why, like, don't underestimate the intelligence of your consumer that we care about that kind of thing, and like tell us, why would that feel better to you if there was like a conversation and they could explain.

It, would it absolutely was.

I feel like a lot of many founders not all of course, don't speak until there's backlash and it's like, let's get ahead of it, please, because you know we're going to talk about it.

You know, we finn to talk about it.

So I think that would absolutely be a great way to handle it.

For sure.

Think I'm I'm always say I'm not the smartest one in the room.

I like to surround myself with people who are smarter than me.

But I think my gift is like cultural analysis and critique, and I don't have the answers to those questions.

I think they're good questions, but I think for me, this opens an opportunity to talk about like a bigger symptom of this conversation, which is just that people are scared.

We're scared about what's in our products, what things are being made with, especially for black people, because of our relationship with the medical system and with health and wellness.

I mean just history centuries of this, and so I think obviously it's a symptom of a bigger problem, which is that we need more brands that we can trust.

And you know, since we're talking about black businesses and it's Black Business Month, I think it's just this is a right for conversation and for anyone who's listening, who wants to start a business, who wants to research, you know, what are.

Products I can make?

What are like baby products I can make, or products for mothers, or products for young children, or any of us all of us beauty products for black women who want to feel good in their own skin.

Like it's never too late to start a business.

It's never too late to start something because we need this space is not too crowded, Like we need things that.

We can trust.

I know everybody needs to hear that right now.

I was just at an event and like I did a whole panel on podcasting, and you always get the question are there too many podcasts?

Like and I'm like, no, listen, tomorrow, somebody is going to come out with the podcast that is the biggest thing in you know, it's going to blow away everybody and it will not have existed, And like that could be anybody if you just try, and it is.

It's like that whole analogy of like go to the supermarket and look how many types of bread there are?

Come on now, Like I was more than happy to introduce the Dave's Killer Bread to my pantry.

When I saw it, I was like, ooh, they make a bagel now, okay, period, that's that?

On that all right, well thanks for that, Yeah, that would.

I think it's really important that, especially during Black Business Month.

And one last thing on that on my part is I just want to say, don't underestimate the power of getting acquired when it comes to when they when black women are able to generate that level of wealth when we are.

When our companies get acquired, you have this huge windfall, You get all this stock.

You know, it's a huge earning opportunity.

But like, without fail, I don't think I've met a single black female founder who's had an IPO or well there's not many IBOs, but has been acquired and then hasn't turned around and created a fund so that they can seed black owned female businesses.

So Monique has done that.

From Mayel, I know, we have we have Arlen Hamilton, like there are There are several examples Stacy philpop Brown, who I interviewed back when she was a CEO of Task Grab It, and I think she had gone on to I forget where now, but she has a venture capital firm now that she runs.

So maybe we don't love the like it's not the perfect ideal way that we would be creating black wealth and it's all black and be black by black, But it's really about like, when we get us in positions of power, more often than not, we are turning around and lifting the community up with us.

And I think that that's worth something to you.

Priscenian.

Well, let's talk about my favorite topic, which is jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs.

I don't know if y'all know, but I do career coaching.

I have the podcast, of course, but I've been a career coach for years now.

I think the last time we got drinks right before an event, Like we were lots of me who got together.

We were getting drinks and I think I forget which one.

I think it was me.

I was kind of lightly trying to get some negotiations.

Yes, without revealing that this is what I'm obsessed about at US all the time.

Is amazing.

But I have I have a one on one coaching program.

It's very small.

I only have a couple of women in it right now.

It's like twelve weeks.

And the something that I'm working with are so freaking talented, resumes stacked, experience stacked.

I would even say their network is decent, you know, their their personal relationships.

Still, they are struggling to find work.

And I just want to use them as an example because New Jobs Report came out on Friday, and the job support itself, this is like the Big eight Department of Labor comes out once a month and says how many jobs did American companies add?

Which is important, right because if they're not adding jobs, people are not getting jobs, and you know, the economy could be going down.

But it wasn't just the fact that there was such a low number of jobs added.

It was only like seventy three thousand jobs, which I think we're all used to seeing numbers like two hundred three hundred thousand month over month.

It wasn't just that jobs were so low in July.

It was that the numbers for May and June were cut.

So they went back to May and June and said, oh oops, we overestimated how many jobs.

So actually, for the past three months we've been hemorrhaging tens of thousands of jobs.

They took two hundred and fifty eight thousand jobs off of the May and June payrolls.

At the same time, unemployment is ticking up, and big baby big Baby Orange in chief, of course, turns around and decides he doesn't like I don't like those numbers.

Mmmm, throw away the person who said the words.

He throws a hissy fit, fires the analyst in charge of coming up with the data using the formulas that have been used under multiple administrations.

But the point is, like, the job market is tough, and when I say tough, I mean tough.

There are not a lot of new jobs being added.

And on top of that, when you look at the seventy three thousand, like which sector is actually giving, which sector is actually the bulk of those seventy three thousand jobs healthcare is like fifty is like fifty five thousand of those seventy five thousand jobs are healthcare.

So if you take away healthcare, like we're not, it's rough like places are not hiring.

You're still seeing like big companies layoff like thousands of people and getting all that news.

But I think, and I think what's more damaging is not that we're having these sweeping layoffs.

I think it's just the fact that companies are not hiring.

They are just choosing.

Not if you're getting fired, you're getting let go.

They're not running out and replacing those roles.

So it's just created a really difficult job market.

And just to go back to what I originally said, my two Mandy money makers who are like again resume stacked, great experience, super talent, I think that they represent a lot of the frustration if you're in the if you're looking for a job right now, or you're unemployed right now, Like I just want to encourage you to keep going and to understand that it's going to take a while, very likely it's going to take a while, and to not let yourself get too disheartened by what's happening.

At least feel that you're not alone, because it's tough.

I would not want to be out there looking for although sometimes I should.

I feel like I should because entrepreneurship's hard.

Sometimes I'm like, oh, paycheck will be nice, but yeah, any thoughts, y'all.

It's just honestly, when we stop demonizing the gig economy, because I feel like so many people are like, well, i'm thirty something, I'm forty something.

I shouldn't be doing side gigs.

I should only be doing full time and of course, naturally you deserve, of course, but also what makes it so challenging is the lack of integrity.

We ascribe two gig jobs right, We're like, well, that's not really a work.

It's like, well, if it's helping you get like pay your bills and feed you and make things happen, I think that we need to say, hey, actually, it's a good thing that we have this right now.

Not that it should be, you know, the final thing that you rely on, of course, but I think what it's part of making the hold because I was unemployed for two years myself, and what was part of making that making what part of the part that made that so difficult for me, especially as a social person that I am, is being these conversations with my friends or with strangers even and feeling as though I wasn't enough because I didn't have the big name job or a full time job, and oh I have to work three different gigs at the same time and try and make this happen, and try and get this contractor to like you know whatever, to get paid on time with the invoices.

Like all of that was just really draining on me so much, And it would have helped so much if someone had just been like, hey, work is work.

Work is work.

That's it.

Like let's let's gin let's light some honor on that as well.

And it's not to say that like, just get a gay job, you'll be fine.

I understand that that is not ideal either.

People have mouths to feed in their homes and whatnot.

But just ascribing a certain level of integrity to that work as well, it's what I'm really trying to get at.

My dad used to always growing up, piece to be like there's a McDonald's in every city, you know, and that's like obvious, Like you said, not the answer.

But I mean, especially in this world today, but there's something about you know you can you can build.

Continue to build your brand, continue to build your resume, continue to build your portfolio, keep doing the things that nourish you and feed into your career so when the time comes, you're going to be front center ready.

And also I think some of the like I love, I worked in college.

I worked at a career center for four years, so I love this stuff as well.

Mandy about jobs.

In college, it's so it was.

It was the best job of my life.

Like I still I'm just like I love it so much.

I go back and visit and I visit all of them.

But I learned so much.

And I think still some of the tactics for job search, even though it's a terrible market right now, it still holds, which is like you can really rely on like I think in person meetups, in person connections.

It could be loose ties.

But I think the internet it's getting worse and worse.

Like every time, like there's a job that pops up and you click it, it's like this job's been taken down.

You can't even apply or like you know, it's just.

A tibition summer intern, I mean fall intern, which is literally an internship for college kids.

I got three hundred applications in like ten days, And was that hard for college kids?

Was that hard for you to go through all of that?

I haven't even I went through like twenty and I'm like, oh god, I need help to go through so many.

And probably the ones that were flagged to you by certain people.

If someone said, hey, I know someone who's good for this, Like I think people just be nice, always be marketing yourself.

Be like I'm looking for a job.

Don't give up.

Tell everybody you come across like I'm looking for a job.

If you are a rare person like Shondaland has job positions right now, Like if you are a rare person who's at a job where there are job openings, who's also hing you know, you should also be like, hey, guess what we're hiring, Like send out a blast on Facebook or LinkedIn and just be vocal.

Really really help your peers right now.

And I think someone being able to put a word in for you or to just even forward a resume, I think is really really helpful right now, especially when there's like so few openings.

I could not agree more.

And I think that even speaks to like just the power of the community and being able to tell those around you, hey, like this is what I'm really good at, that's what I want to do, just talking to the people.

There were so many of my own friends who were like, dang, I didn't know you were actually doing this.

That and the third, if I had known that, I could have pushed your resume over to this person that I know.

I'm like, I was so busy in my shame that I couldn't talk about it.

I didn't have compassion towards myself to be able to be in that growth mindset.

And I just know that that's where so many of these people stand.

What they're feeling is like this shame on themselves of like I got to take this gig, or oh I don't have it, I don't know how I'm going to pay this, or oh my kid needs this, but how am I going to make it happen?

Like, once you get into that growth mindset of being able to practice that kind of self compassion towards yourself, that's when the ideas flow.

That's when you're able to go out and be with the people and start talking and saying, hey, this is what I do, this is what I'm interested in.

I'm looking for a position.

This is just getting it out there to plant the seeds.

Staying in the house and lamenting so too long it keeps this negative cycle going.

Of course, you need to feel your feelings and you know, lament for a little bit, but then it's time to get in the lab, you know, and get get craft.

Absolutely I agree with you, Nia one hundred percent.

And you need that community to encourage you to do that stuff to like still be creating, like I mean, Nia, I love that you have a substack, Alexa.

I know you have projects here.

We have your travel influencer.

Bad going right is that they get that wrong travel right now?

No, you got it absolutely travel at my website Moments of alexiclare dot com.

Yes all.

And I just always, I think because I was always craving like max stimulation, just dopamine, just searching for those hits.

So for me, I was like, okay, working as cool, but like, I want to do this on the side, I want to have a podcast, I want to have this blog and like and it helped so much because no matter what you're reinforcing that you can create something and do something.

And so, you know, one of the things that I'm working on with my makers is continuing to do the thing that they want to do and actually share it.

And sometimes there's a feeling of like, well, if I don't do it in a you know, for an employer or as part of a you know company or a paid gig or something, that it doesn't count as work or like work products.

And I'm like, oh no, Like, continue keep demonstrating your excellence.

You can do a free workshop for you know, college students.

You can you can go you can go back to your college alma mater and like do a talk.

You can you can do a virtual oom.

Who cares if five people come show up, that's still five people.

It doesn't matter.

You can still say I taught my thing, I taught my project management skills, I taught you know, and put that on your resume or in your cover letter, and just don't be stale.

You don't want that Like there's a there's a staleness, there's a stale air around unemployment that can settle and it can be stifling to you, but it can also be completely like a turnoff it sounds so up and it's but it's true.

It can turn off a hiring manager if you come with the stale energy of like, oh, I haven't you know it's been a while, I'm superdup.

You know, here's my resume.

So it's just so stack with it.

For the first last year, I haven't really been doing much.

It's been tough, Like you don't want to bring that that energy with you.

And so that's why I agree with what y'all are both saying, and I would say double those efforts to start sowing seeds, even if it's a brand new relationship, like we just became friends, y'all less than what five I forget, less than six months ago.

And this feels like like who knows what opportunities we may you know, have for one another, Like y'all are on my podcast yay talking about your blog and stuff like there you go.

Hopefully that's considered like some fruit, not that it felt like transactional, but you never know where those relationships are going to end.

And I would say people get overwhelmed by like how am I going to meet new people?

Or how I'm what I'm going to a networking event, and like I have to get everything I want accomplished in this one conversation with this one person.

But it can just be a tiny seed and then you just like try to water it over months and months.

It takes time, but you have to be like deliberate, intentional and try to keep that mindset right, which I know is easier said than done, because the way this mind is set up to hold us back is booby trapped.

Booby trapped.

But ye have said that better, Well, I will need it.

But y'all seem to both have like a lot of compassion, which is like, at the end of the day, we all need to have so much compassion for every for everything that we're all going through.

Yes each other, ourselves.

It's hard.

Well, miss me, I know you have a hard stop for a fun reason.

But since you're are pop culture girly, is there anything like pop culture wise that's getting you excited?

Is it Nicolandria like me?

Because they still have me in.

All gosh, I goodness, this is a good question.

And I don't know.

I feel like I'm really tired right now.

I'm really I want something juicy.

There's this writer Haley Nauman, and she always writes about like the death of sex.

And she's like, I'm not talking about sex sex.

I'm talking about like we live through a lot of eras in our lifetime where things are just like sexy, like they're edgy, there's nuance, there's like depth, there's like intrigue, and now it just seems like everything is flat, like it's just like this thing happened, Let's make it a headline.

This thing happened, Let's make it a headline.

And so I'm feeling a little bit of that, Like I'm feeling a little bit bored by publicas.

Do not watch Love Island.

I did, and I was a little bit bored.

I also could not keep up.

I didn't.

I didn't fully, I was like a little bit behind.

I think it wastick of me talking about it, really.

Mommy, mamacita, I mean that had me by the neck.

That didn't have with Andrea.

It's the couple, it's the Alexa.

Yes, no, are we are we?

Nicolandria Hive.

I'm so sorry.

I'm on Love is Blind Girl, not Loveland.

I'm sorry.

I'm like I need to get for y'all.

I don't know, sorry for us, but you know what's crazy and maybe You're right to a certain extent, Mia, But I was reading about have y'all are y'all into fan fiction?

Reading it?

I used to write really bad fan fiction as a teenager.

Tumblr was the peak of my life.

Pa mm hmm.

I was a huge behind.

I would write on what pad and I would and I would read constantly.

Also, I was calling it what.

What?

What?

What was I calling it?

What did I call it?

What?

I'm sorry?

What Pad?

Yeah?

I would, but no, you tell me because I'm new to it.

I only got this really really really, I'm like blushing.

I'm so embarrassed.

I am reading Love Island fan uh on what Pad?

Which?

What Pad?

Which I had never heard of before?

But apparently it's like that girl now.

For Yeah, okay, so I will say I'm careful about where I say that I read what pad now because growing up like middle school, high school era, it was very just like cute see oh yeah, I want to know more about what happens into Finelight, like can we get some other versions of this?

Or like there's this really great movie I watched now what the characters to continue on what happens and someone else takes it on or they'll just do their own original work, which is great and I love that.

Now, unfortunately it has very much become uh likened to all the like dirty reads and like the three four five Chili Peppers and whatnot.

Working on care fun Yeah my money Now it's because it's not romance, Mandy, It's not it's not romance.

This is this is yeah, this is other stuff that now what has been like likened to where I'm like, no, there's still the good stuff.

And there's like still like the good, feel good stuff in there where you can find stuff that makes you like kick your feet and tiki he like in the Galandria fan thing.

Yes, there's really well done.

I wish I'm getting new to it.

I'm not paying for it, so I will say the ads drive me insane, especially now, like get out of here, you know, but it is it's making me feel like I get that kid feeling, I get that teenager feeling a little bit, but I'm people making money, you know how.

It's like fifty Shades of Gray used to be it was like a Twilight fanfick.

So I was reading that from wattpad.

There is this.

There's been a couple of projects.

There's been the Kissing Booth on Netflix, which I haven't read.

I haven't watched that was here, not of fanfic.

There's also oh Ana Todd's After, which was a one direction Harry styles like Zanfit, but the book it got turned into a book published by Simon and Schuster twenty fourteen, and then it became a movie with four sequels.

Clearly, I'm not the target demo because I ain't never seen this.

Four Secrets racked up one hundred and sixty eight million dollars worldwide.

You see, this is what I say.

If you have an idea, go for it, go for it.

Apparently, come on, this is how so I've been.

I'm a huge fantasy girl like reader, like I've been really into like Akatar Sarah J.

Mass.

If anyone knows, if you know, you know, but Sarah J.

Mass has written a Tatar which is like Quarter of Thorns and Thorns and Roses series.

Yes, yeah, okay, okay, as well as Thrown Up Glass.

But actually it's it's well, it's actually not it's ya.

They don't get to I mean until silver Flame.

Silver Flame is a little smutty but otherwise not very No.

A s caliente'ta no, because it's it's literally classified as a young adult novel, like they can't go crazy, gotcha, gotcha?

But a guitar thrown of glass.

All the things are thrown of glass, which is like her Ultimate Like series.

Anyone reads that and they just know they're never gonna they're never gonna find a book like it ever again.

But she had started that when she was sixteen on a site similar to what pad, and that's when it took loss from there, which she got a deal took it off of that website, and now it is I think they have like a Hulu deal or a Prime Video deal for a movie now.

But yeah, that book has been going since I was in high school.

Like that book has gone crazy.

So I'm saying I say that just to say, if you have an idea, write it.

There's editing that can happen later.

All the professionals can take a look at it and make it perfect for whatever you need it to be.

But just get the idea out there.

Oh, just get it out there, and also just have fun, like just to be creating.

That used to be a real outlet for me as a kid, was writing stories.

I would write my own stories and I would write some fan fiction.

I used to edit my brother's Harry Potter fan fiction and try to pretend like I also wasn't writing it because I was so embarrassed.

I was so shy about it.

But I waterhouse.

My house I think is Hufflepuff.

It's been a while long time.

I think for sure i'd be a Slitherin today, way more I think I was.

I think I'm way more honest about who I am and where I want.

I think get they get a bad rap, but I think that there is I think that.

Most of my girlfriends are Slytherin's very especially since I'm mom.

There's not much I'm doing just to be brave just because I got kid, you know what I mean.

I think all moms would be Slytherin like we want, we have to strive.

But no, I'm not risking my neck for any just anybody, because my children need me, you know, period.

But shout out to watpad and the fandom lore, Like, if you have a favoritef you're part of some fandom.

I want to hear about it.

We need some wtpod Wtpad billionaires to come forth, all right, the a fan.

We're gonna take a quick break and be right back.

Then I do brown Boost Brown Break stick around.

All right, y'all, are y'all ready for a little brown Boost brown break action.

I will go first since it's my party, and I then put y'all in the hot seat too much.

I'm gonna do a quick I love this sum I this this TikTok trend where it's like it's usually a woman and usually behind her is like her partner, her husband.

I don't want to, you know whatever, there there there, their man is behind them, and it's usually a woman and she's like very aggressive and she's like, Hey, this is Paul.

This is my husband, Paul.

He's going to show you the tomato he just grew in the garden.

You better be impressed.

He worked really hard.

So it's like you're kind of threatening the audience, Like you better listen to him, and you better like it.

And it's so cute.

It's so damn cute.

I like, low key wanted to do one for my husband, but he's way too shy.

But there's this I saw this on blavity.

It's the story of a black owned food delivery app that has now gone viral and is more popular than Uber eats.

And competitors in the app store because his sister did one of these, like TikTok trends for him.

So the I want to shout out this new food delivery it's also it sounds hell acute.

So his name is Lucius Daniel the Okay and he founded byte Site, b Ite Site sig ht so.

It's a mashup of TikTok and door dash so and it offers over one hundred and fifty thousand dishes to customers.

But the cutest thing is like, instead of shopping based on the restaurant, like I think what you happen to, you scroll through and you see TikTok videos of the food and then you can say I want that and they will and like somehow you get the food delivered to you.

Who knows how the mechanics happened.

But he built this app from scratch and his sister Kendall is the one who who did the video.

So shout out to his sister Kendall good kindle or given her brother some shine because now he has one of the most popular food delivery apps in the in the app store.

I hope she gets a cut put put her in there.

That's amazing taking cuts, but yeah, probably should get a cut one day, should get a cut.

This is why you need to have contracts in place before you do your marketing.

You know, that's amazing.

What a good idea for an app.

That's actually I didn't think of it.

I'm mad I didn't think of it.

The name is so good bite site.

I just got it now, please, that's so good.

So now he's number He was number six on Apple's food and Drink top chart, ahead of Uber Eats, Domino's, Instacart, Subway, Chipotle come on now, and they've also And at this point he's gotten one point five million dollars in seed funding from some venture capitalists like hy Combinator, has a big one search point capital, so he is not playing around.

He is here to win.

This could be.

I mean, we were just talking about black owned brands not going ip.

We need an app, we need a tech business.

Just put an AI on that shit like, let's get you a billion bucks late man, Come on, all right, Alexa, I know you got a jump, so do you want to go next?

This is truly what I've been ranting about lately.

But just any and everyone that would listen, I have been rewatching Pose.

I don't know if either of you are familiar with the show Pose, but it is about the trans community circa nineteen eighties nineteen nineties in the New York and it features all kinds of mega huge names.

It is created by us for us.

Everyone was a part of the writer's team is LGBTQ largely on that tea side, which we love.

And so I've been rewatching this with my roommate and there was a scene we were I'm on the episode now where Pray tell his character this black gay man in his forties who has HIV AIDS and it has since developed into like an AIDS type of lymphoma.

It's really serious what he has.

And so he goes back to his hometown but she left because he had unfortunately, he just had a lot of unfortunate experiences.

I want to be mindful of like what our audience's triggers might be, but he had some unfortunate experiences there and you can imagine and what they were.

Uh.

And he goes back and you know, rekindles some things to certain people, develops, like re strengthens his relationship with his mother and whatnot.

But oh my goodness, this, this the challenge between his mother and him are what really just got to me because she just kept saying, you were fine, you were fine, you were healthy, you were such a great singer, you were such a part of a community, you were in the church, all the things.

He's like, Mother, I was being hurt every day and I was telling you, and you didn't believe me.

You knew it was happening, and you just you just let it be.

You just let it happen.

This commitment to delusion that people have to get them through these these these moments that they don't know how to handle, that they don't know how to how to how to work through.

Oh my god, it is I was crying so hard at that scene, because this is your child telling you I was being hurt and I came to you and you said, I don't believe you.

And and still to this day as an adult, as an adult, he comes to her and he talks with her, and she has to make it about herself.

So just comfort her with me.

He's like, that's where I was hurt.

It's all of this.

It's this commitment to delusion over things that especially hurt those we claim to love.

That for me just it grinds my gears.

I have been rancy about it and non stop.

That is what I have to share.

And it wasn't so much just about that, like deep topics, right, it can be about anything, just commitment to delusion, about anything.

When those around me are telling you, hey, actually this makes me feel this way, and that person is still like, well, Ladie, da, like it's fine.

If you think about this Saturday the third, it'll be fine.

Don't look at what's right in front of you.

I don't understand that, and I will never understand that because community is so important to me, and I yeah, even though delusion is comfortable, it, community requires discomfort.

It requires it.

As someone I've I've been on the receiving end of that, and even if it's small, like it's so infuriating to not be believed for your experience that you're telling themone how it made you feel, but because they can't fathom feeling that way, or they don't or it's inconvenient to them that you felt bad, like they can't accept it, and like that's I can't think of there's it's just one of the most damaging toxic actions you can or almost like a it's like an act of violence, a little bit like against a person.

It really is you do you're damaging someone, like you're you're inflicting an injury on someone when you say to them that, oh, you felt this way.

I don't see or acknowledge or empathize or you know, acknowledge or validate that in any way.

You ignore their pain, and it is like it's damaging them.

It's very hurtful.

So I then turn around and say, I love you so much, but I love you.

Don't do that.

Don't do thanks for listening to hear.

If I can't, I'm holds the the gen hearts, I can't.

I what the helly figuring out how the hell to do this?

Okay, it's like it's the Korean, like the k the k Drop, Yeah, the Italian?

This is the this is the Italian.

Okay, it's I can't that's my I would do a bonus break just to say that I hate that.

I will never be invited again.

All I missed me and not Abraham Nolan.

Okay, it's me the virgin not anymore.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Can I was it good for you?

It was so great?

Could do it again.

I would highly recommend do it again again.

Honestly, you were like, I'm going to come and go as I please.

Yeah, I'm like, wow, you know, not that bad, really not that bad.

Okay.

My rent is about PR relationships.

Uh, I'm a little over it.

You know how I talked about things being a little bit like sexless.

It feels like PR relationships are there used to be something juicy about them, Like it used to be like like the Notebook, like Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling and like like the first time Jay Loin been got together, which was totally PR.

It's like and now it's like we're really doing Pamela Anderson and Liam Neeson and we know it's because and that's why I'm like, and I'm like, oh, we're all falling for it.

I'm like, oh, I'm still not going to go see their movie, but it's.

I have heard it's a great movie, but I'm like, do we not see?

But one thing I will say that I love about it is that we should we need representation, Like there should be like an older couple who's living their lives and we're we're following their romance and we love it.

I also, I just if it was anybody else, I'd be okay with it.

But the fact that's Liam and you said, I'm like, do you forget that he went on a racist rant about how he wanted to kill a black man.

I'm like, oh, we're all forgetting that.

Everyone's like, I'm so.

Happy I actually did forget it.

Thanks for bringing it back on earth.

Oh.

I'm like, everyone's like, we love this PR.

We sorry, we love this relationship.

I'm like, I don't know.

I can't.

I can't get behind it.

I can't be happy.

I'm a terrible person.

Wow, But I just I don't know.

I'm like, if we're gonna keep doing PR relationships, let's I can't think of the last good one?

What are some?

Are there any bad ones besides that one?

Are you gonna say, tommin Zindaia, they're not a piano.

I'm trying to think of other kinds.

I don't think they are.

And if it started as one, I don't think it is, well.

Then you need to get into love island lore.

So here's how you can do it.

Here's how you think those are some PR relationships too.

Absolute Except for Nicolandria, I will defend them to the move the delusion.

I don't care.

It feels too good, but it's it's real.

I didn't like them both.

I did like them.

I don't really know the story of how they ended up because I stopped.

Why are you denying yourself?

You probably got because it was boring as hell, but then way through it starts to turn, and then the last week it really turns.

So what you need to do is just go watch.

This is my tactic, because who has time to watch an hour every day?

Two hours?

Sometimes I would watch the recap from last week, fast forward to the last ten minutes and watch that, and if it felt like I missed something important, the recap from the following week would just cover it, you know what I mean.

And that is how I got through tons of episodes very quickly.

And then there's plenty of this tactic.

Yeah, and you get to listen to the Irish guy or whatever, he's Scottish or whatever and in whatever last week you know, in the villa, and then it's great.

It's the best.

I've been doing that ever since my husband, my husband, my cousin got me hooked on UK back during the pandemic.

It's so good.

But that's serious.

They would have they would go for weeks and weeks they would be on air for I think I there were some Hulu seasons where it was like sixty something episode, there's no way in hades, No, I got kids, I Got live.

You literally have to start and be committed.

Like I think, if you really get into it from the very beginning, you can do it.

Skip all.

I'm seeing bits all that ship now, but I'm saying that you should because there is I think it's a dumb debate because obviously they are the real real but it's very which relationships have seemed real and are now falling apart?

And Nicolandria has to the test of time.

It's been there.

It's been three weeks.

But yes.

They slack it.

Yeah together.

But then there was like the couple from last season, Jenney and Kenny.

There's all this drama like that was that for him?

It was a pr yeah for her to witness so you do, okay, so you have clocked that.

Yeah, very sad, but she got there like that woman's power because the way that he everybody unfollowed him, Like does she mass email the entire crew?

Like I don't know what happened, and I'm here for it.

I don't think anyone other than like, apparently he sent some text to friends talking about how like saying derogatory things about her as a black woman, like this is why I don't date black women, Like she's always on her bullshit.

He's Dominican.

It's sad for me because I'm married to a Dominican man who's not like that.

Yeah, it was pretty shitty, and basically said that he thought he would be getting more money from this already.

He's just doing it for the cloud blah blah blah.

Like that's he really crazy, fucked it up for himself.

Wow.

But for Pamela Anderson, I just hope because Liam Neeson is such an aggressive his care I don't know him as a person, but like obviously, but his characters are so aggressive, and she's so delicate and like and I mean, I know she's a strong, powerful woman, but she's so I just want to protect her.

And I just hope that she feels good because I'm following.

If she's happy, I'm happy.

But I'm hoping he's not aggressive and she's just like you know, like can happen in Hollywood, I'm hoping it's mutual and then it's mutually respect and like there's all that happening.

I hope it's so.

I would be so sad to find out that the whole time she's been deeply uncomfortable and wishing for it to end.

Yeah, I would hate that.

Okay, Well, miss gorgeous Bala Sunshine, thank you so much for joining me on ground ambition.

Thank you.

I love you back.

Yes, anytime I want to come visit you in Brooklyn.

He visited me on the internet.

We visited Alexa, you know, in Chelsea.

So now we need to come to Brooklyn.

It's almost to Brooklyn.

We're gonna we're gonna find a time.

Be a faan, go make new friends.

You can do it, whether you're twenty thirty, forty fifteen, go make new friends' it's not too late, okay, okay, be a fan.

Thank you so much for listening to this week's show.

I want to shout out to our production team, Courtney, our editor, Carla, our fearless leader for idea to launch productions.

I want to shout out my assistant Lauda Escalante and Cameron McNair for helping me put the show together.

It is not a one person project, as much as I have tried to make it so these past ten years.

I need help, y'all, and thank goodness I've been able to put this team around me to support me on this journey and to y'all bea fam I love you, so so so so much.

Please rate, review, subscribe, Make sure you sign up to the newsletter to get all the latest updates on upcoming episodes, our ten year anniversary celebrations to come, and until next time, talk to you soon.

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