You really know nothing about nothing if you haven't traveled.

That is a fact.

And Baby, I want to know all the things, So travel me, baby, across the word dead ass.

It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight from the heart.

Since then, we've gone on to become Webby award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors.

Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us.

It was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable.

Be wraw or but most apportly be us.

But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we, and through it all, one thing has never changed.

This because we got a lot to talk about, So.

Quick story time, Right.

Kadeena and I went.

To Dubai year yes for my birthday last December, and where it was.

It was a stressful trip, in part because because you hear all of these things from people about things you have to be concerned about when you go to Dubai.

Right, don't kiss your partner, don't hold hands, don't stand next to each other, don't take no marijuana.

Don't drink no alcohol, don't be loud.

It was like a whole bunch of dons don't don'ts when you get there, stand in a straight line, and the minute we land in Dubai, it was nothing like anything anyone told us about.

Absolutely not the coolest place as long as you have decorum, when you conduct yourself like facts, a law abiding citizen, right, because I'm sure there's a place for people who don't follow the.

Rules, absolutely, but even that place doesn't even exist like it exists here.

But what it just taught me in those moments, and we'll talk.

A little bit about it when we come back, but what it taught me to was to never listen to people who've never traveled about what the world is.

Everything we think we know about the rest of the world we've learned through the American gaze, and you can't trust it.

Can't karaoke time.

I had a really good song prepared, but like something else to casting my song anyway?

Oh fancy cuts.

The women in the CAVEO, you know who we are.

We're been all in the world.

Old who's fancy car?

Women in the cave.

I didn't travel all over the world, Baby, I haven't seen something.

Women come on Luden and Bobby be.

Came Michael Jackson.

Sorry, y y'all know, I love.

Money but what Trump's that?

Who wants to take it away?

Am nothing?

And right now you can save fifty pounds.

That's two hundred pounds off of Family of Full.

Yes, that was so good.

I can't wait for y'all to share your jets to holiday travel experiences with us.

But let's take a quick break and we are going to come back with Op or no Op.

So stick around, y'all, be r B all right, and we're back.

So ye, baby, you want to do an opera no Op first, and that we can jump into the story so he can segue us into travel.

Yeah, let's do that.

We're gonna pivot real quick and throw it to trouble with Op or no Op for this episode.

What we got girl?

Okay, So I think Davao sent this.

Somebody sent this video in the group chat about white vacationers.

Van Jones recently made his video and this was the most poignant piece of information I've ever received.

Uh.

But he was talking about Travis Kelce being the latest of the white vacationers, which is just like a white celebrity who got famous off of their like blackfish thing.

So Travis Kelsey was wearing his fade.

He had a bunch of black girlfriends.

He had to chain the lingo, the black scent, everything right up, and now he's yeah.

So so Van Jones was saying, after they do this, you know, vacation in blackness, then they go back to their white selves and then they get super rich.

So now try as Kelsey is about to marry Taylor Swift, richest white woman.

On the planet.

Some other famous white vacationers he mentioned were Post Malone, obviously, Miley Cyrus, who.

After coming to our side, made some comments like that music isn't good for us or something like that.

Yeah, Malone said the same thing.

They both did.

Yeah, and then Justin Bieber, who is a common flip flopper, he's about.

To say he's on a parly vacation, comes back to that consistently.

There is crazy, so he's invested in some way.

Okay, So all of those celebrities, they came up and you know, really a lot after they got done with their black culture vacation.

So oper no op about these white vacationers.

That has been happened a long time.

Yeah, start with Elvis.

Wow, I'm just being honest.

He came in and stole rock and roll thole the hip, stole the moves, sat down, listened to blues artists tell their stories, got engulfed in the culture, then went back and then just became Elvis And it was like he's the greatest thing since sliced bread.

You know.

All he did was just take.

Our culture and not duplicated and replicated or put his twist.

This has been going on like this is for a long time American history.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, speaking of vacation in Jamaica, I was there recently in Portland area and I saw Diplos spot that he had.

Yeah, we like passed it, and I was trying to find a way to jump the gate or get in because have you seen the spread of the place that he loves Jamaica so much?

And I think it was like, yeah, he's a DJ and he built this oasis in Portland.

That was like yes, and it is absolutely insane.

And was his gate bet he did the same thing.

Yeah, essentially, I don't I don't know the DJ.

I'm asking like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean he's in his circles.

But I just heard vacation and I heard white people and I was like yo, I realized that it.

Was a hard cut.

I didn't realize you didn't know.

That it was hard That's what I said, speaking of vacation in Jamaica and talking about vacation.

In America in Jamaica, I saw that.

I saw it was.

Yes, I was talking about the literal white people in black people faces vacations and his place is insane.

I wanted so bad to jump that gate.

I was with the realtor out there, Come on, baby, you faster that normally.

I don't know.

Yeah, he's a very famous DJ, but yeah, he has this spot on Jamaica importantly, y'all.

I was like, this is insane, Like I get while y'all come over here and y'all want to stay for real, but you know that was the sidetrack.

Sorry, y'all, back on track, Back on track.

I'm being honest with you.

I didn't I thought there was an actual vacate like I didn't think he.

I thought it was on vacation with with Taylor.

Like I don't have an I don't really care about his relationship, but I didn't think you dude was too black to be staying with.

Don't.

Yeah, you know I'm a football guy.

I know he his ex girl, you like he would tailor.

There's no way hell he's staying with Taylor.

But he did.

And can you really blame him, like the amount of cash Taylor must have.

I mean, I'm calling Banks over there, baby, I don't care.

I'm over there with the polo on.

I am him.

And he switched up his head.

He got the he don't got the buzz cut no more.

Now he had a stash.

Now he actually got one.

You got he changed his look, which which is crazy.

But I mean, people go through things like you know, we we know, no, we don't go I don't get it, bro, I really don't get it.

I don't I don't get it.

Like the only reason why I say.

I don't get it for for people who despise us so much right to always.

Come over here, emulate what we do and then go back over here.

And speak about like Miley Cyrus' comments and what's the post Malone's comments really rubbed me.

The wrong way out of pocket because you came here and.

Built your whole aura off of us, and.

Then afterwards to go back and talk bad about the culture you built your aura off of.

I feel a way about it.

I do, I really, really do, and that bothers me.

I really talk about huh, That's why I didn't mention him.

I'm talking about in general, the whole.

Idea that you could take from the people.

But then that's why I brought up.

Elvis, because I mean, Elvis build his whole legacy off of stealing, literally stealing.

And they purposely do it.

They do it.

Yes, absolutely, we got the source, you know what I'm saying.

And that's I think that's where the white vacation or thing even comes from, is because they know we got the sauce and they trying to be somebody.

They trying to get their own sauce, but they got to come do what we do because that's how they learn how to have a personality.

I guess that's the thing that bothers me too, when when something that was inherently ours gets named theirs.

For example, I think it was Kim k had the corn Rolls and they called them the Kim Rolls or something.

At one point I was like, oh, you will rename it.

Or even the Travis Kilsi a fade and the beard has called the Travis Kilta since when I've had that in twenty nineteen, like like you know what I'm saying, it's.

Just like you just take it, freedoms to it, even this.

They're Columbus in it.

That's a really good point.

It's it is almost like how Diplo goes to Jamaica and builds an oasis.

Did you know that Jamaica they have all of this coastline, but there's only like eight miles that is publicly accessible.

Jamaican people absolutely absolute.

But yeah, it is like white vacationers going to build a resort on a beach that they're not from, you know, and they still they get to keep that.

Really, yeah, I met her last weekend.

I'm glad you brought that up.

But that's that's it's actually a perfect analogy.

But they understand, like why do black people get upset?

We get upset because you come to our place take up space in a way we can't even take up space.

Then you leave, and we still can't even take up that space.

When you're going because now you're won't own it and won't even allow us to take up that space.

That's actually a perfect analogy, and why the black vacation That makes sense because if you come from an island and most people don't come from island, so they don't know.

But I know this from traveling and listening to your family.

When you come from an island and then people come in and inhabit the island and take up everything from the island, and then you're forced to feel like a visitor and the own place, the only place that you call home, you build resentment to.

And unless you've gone through that, you're not gonna know what that feels like.

That's a fact.

And unless you are someone who is, for example, a white person that comes and owns half of the coastline of Montego Bay, like this woman that I met, Michelle Rollins, she gives so much back to the island and creates so much many opportunities for people out there.

So it's like, at least if you're no, she's not a vacation er, she's actually like invested in the betterment of Jamaica.

So you know, you take the good with the bad.

But a lot of times with these vacationers, you see, it's more so about what they can gain Jamaica.

You know, I love you, but you got to get way more that coastline back, Yeah, I mean getting back, giving back to the local school.

But giving the coastline back.

I mean, people fish, they feed their families.

They want to go to vacations as well.

Absolutely, they want to travel country for sure.

It is for sure.

We met and now were in Jamaica like three years ago Treasure Beach.

Remember what we had to go through to get to that private beach.

We had to go to that old people's house walking down the hills.

Word, Yo, it wasn't It wasn't like direct access to the beach.

It was like you got to go through private property.

And thankfully that private property was abandoned so we could actually do that.

But it was a former resort that we had to like scurry behind and like go to a private beach.

You know what I'm saying.

Not that we went to a beach by ourselves.

We didn't do that, uh us on the trip.

But you want to make that Josh, every.

Y'all learned all about his mind.

True.

I used to think that your mind was the worst his mind nobody.

But somebody might be driving in Carlos the beach together.

Yo, these niggas going to the beach together.

Bro some wrong right, a mess?

No idea.

If we traveled but.

Yeah, the point is that Jamaica do better.

Man, Government of Jamaica do better.

We got to get some of that back man, Absolutely hilarious.

That's not for them.

We wasn't just as a beach just me and Matt by ourselves.

There was a third person with us that can confirm that it wasn't just me and math.

That was the longest pause ever.

He could have just been like we was at the beach together.

Pause.

You know, you know why I'm driving in my car right listening to to the podcasts like.

He hold up, Josh, you went to Treasure Beach looking for treade out to get that.

Now you look as you're throwing gas on it.

Now you're throwing tread.

Yeah, that's it started.

AnyWho, back to Afro and I we have another one for today.

Are we going to go right into talking about travel?

Yeah, we can go right in into it.

Yeah, let's do it already in Jamaica.

So, I mean we're always in Jamaica in my mind, I'm always in Jamaica, you've been.

I'm so excited that Saint Vincent, after being there last October for the Miss Universe pageant out there, they are finally going to have a straight flight from Atlanta to Saint Vincent.

Nice blocking or because you asked for it?

All because I asked for it because I'm like, y'all really want people to come here, right?

You want me to come back with the kids?

How much there not on a connecting flight delta flight as of December twentieth, twenty twenty five.

So that trip that we're supposed to go on, y'all maybe yeah?

Yeah.

She was like, we're never going anywhere.

But if they were to actually, if that comes to fruition, which it's in the news like we're supposed to get it, I will be one of them first flights out of here.

We might even do a New Year and says that's very strngy.

I love that that's strategic because absolutely there's a huge, say visit population in New York.

Yes, easily take that flight from New York to Atlanta to say visits.

Absolutely, the alternative is crazy.

I know, it's crazy.

It's like two and three flights to get there.

And it's like, guys, if you want tourism to boom a little bit with Sandel's being there now and it just being an amazing place to get away, I can't wait.

I'm so excited, So just throw that out there, New Year and save you.

You always want to throw out some vacations, but for sure, I'm glad we actually transitioned from Jamaica because part of my storytime was understanding the narratives about countries, right, because he and I looking to go to Jamaica last year leading into the New Year, and Jamaica was on the travel advisory for America, and Kadena is like, why why.

Is Jamaica on the travel advisory?

So she calls her people in the government and they get back to us and they're like, Gene, there's nothing happening here.

Everything is.

But that was just another example to show how when you look at everything through the American gaze, right, and every everything you get from their news cycle or their version of TikTok or whatever it is, you're going to get what they want you to know.

You have to travel.

We traveled to Jamaica multiple times since the travel advisory and there was nothing wrong.

Same thing when we went to Dubai, you know, And I just I really want people to understand that everything you watch, whether it's your phone, your computer, or the television, is all being like filtered and curated through someone else's idea of what the world is supposed to look like.

And if you think about it like that, you will want to travel more so that you can learn more about the world.

Who has their passport?

Everybody here have their passports.

Oh yeah, passport crazy.

Because yeah, because it's interesting.

I've encountered adults who are just like, I've never left the country, never left, don't even have a passport, And I'm always like, Okay, I understand that everyone's financial abilities are different and they allow them certain opportunities or not, but it never crossed my mind that people have just never left the country, whether it was for work or for vacation or something.

And I don't know if it's a comfort zone.

Some people have said they've been scared to go certain you know why because of that.

But we just talked about the news.

Yeah, fairly.

The news is bombs in the Middle East, and my advisory don't go to Jamaica.

Don't go ahead because of tornadoes and hurricanes.

You're like, I'm just stay in America where it's peaceful and perfect.

And that's what they think.

Yeah, who went to Saudi Arabia recently and our idea, especially growing.

Up, I want to go to Arabia?

Would you ever want to go to Saudi Arabia?

And could not true on a magic carpet, but I couldn't think that.

I never thought because I was also programmed too.

What do you think how we grew up in the Middle East?

We thought anything in the Middle East or wars?

Yeah, you know, And I learned going to Madrid with Jackson.

Do you know what they think about America?

We was in Madrid for a Gellect campaign and I was trying to, you know, get some stuff done, and I was like, you know, can you help me.

I don't speak Spanish.

They're like flu and I'm like, you know, America and they're like, oh America bang bang, schools bang.

And I'm like wow.

So the world looks at us and they look at us as the country where our kids go to school and get shot up.

And I'm like, dang, could you imagine, like think about how we false advertise everything that goes on in the rest of the world.

What the world thinks about us?

No, it's true.

One of my castmates was in Italy, I think recently, and she said that this one particular gelato shop that she went into.

The woman was just like, like clearly like rude, just like very rude.

She had her credit card and the woman was like, they don't take credit card, they take cash.

So whoever was behind the counter with the woman must have said to her like, hey, you know, there's like an atm around the corner, and he spoke better English, and so went around the corner and she got the cash.

So she said at this point she wasn't even ready to patron the business because sis had an attitude and she's like, I'm not doing that.

But then she was like, you know what I want the gelato, let me go get it.

And she got the cash and came back with it, and then she looked at her and she was just like, oh, you got cash, and she was like yeah.

And then she said you're from America and she said yes.

And then she said you voted for Trump in plain English and she was like, actually no, because none of them we don't like that nigga, know how, like none of us like him.

And she was like, oh, okay, okay, and then she was like black people don't.

We don't like him, like he's not for us.

So when she saw she was an American and spoke English.

She instantly was just treating her, oh, you know, treating her in a rude manner until she realized, okay, she's coming to patron the business.

You went and got the cash, and then found out that she didn't vote for Trump or she wasn't a trump'sup porter, and then she softened to her a bit and she actually apologize and was watching I'm so sorry.

So I've heard about an uptick as well in Italy of just racism in general towards blacks.

And I don't know if it's just towards blacks or if it's towards Americans at all, because we haven't been, but I heard stories from a couple of friends who have gone this summer and they were like, we actually didn't have a good time out there because we felt the racism.

I've heard that a lot about Italy specifically.

Yeah.

Yeah, I as a black person, I'm not in a rush to go to Europe.

I haven't been yet, but I've been to Africa several times.

I've been to Caribbean islands several times.

I really am not in a rush to go to Italy, where anti black racism was born.

You know what I'm saying.

I don't think that, and especially as an American, I feel like every country kind of looks down on us now after this whole trenh.

Yeah.

I was in South Africa right after Trump got elected the first time, and that's all anybody wanted to talk about.

And even in the place where apartheid was legal until nineteen ninety four, they think that we have a bigger problem with racism, and especially after that elected and they were like, wow, over there, ain't it.

I'm like, talking to a white South African You're telling me it's here, we are.

I'm glad you brought that up, because people don't, especially Americans, don't realize that there are people who are watching us the same way we watch every country, and we feel like we should police and politics every country.

There are people watching us, and how the world views us right now is not in the best light.

I don't think they've ever viewed us in the best light though.

True.

Yeah, that's true, they've I think for the large part I've heard, at least from like family who lives abroad.

They intend to think that Americans are arrogant, that we know everything, that we're better than you know, every other country, every other power.

That's the number one thing American arrogance, right.

Or we're expecting everyone to speak English when you go to their country.

It's like I can't go to Japan and expect for them to be fluent in English.

Americans do, though, but absolutely do.

We absolutely do.

A sub sect of Americans do.

Yeah, because there are Americans that know a bunch of languages who travel a lot.

But yeah, but the average American won't know the language but will travel with the arrogance like I'm an American, you should, you know, convert to whatever it is I need.

That is very true.

Yeah, And there's so many things that you can do to at least know some conversational especially if you're going to another place that has a Germanic language or a Romance language likely Spain, Germany, anywhere in Europe.

Really there's it's some easy things you can do to learn a couple of words so that you can communicate.

But most people won't even do that, right, They just don't get They just talk louder.

Right there, Everybody just start talking louder.

And that doesn't.

I said, na, you ever heard this talk?

American talk American.

That's the class ever heard.

That's crazy talk American while in another country.

They say it here and tell people to say here.

Well, I get.

People saying it while in America.

It's it's still like I think it's disgusting.

But imagine being in somebody else's country and saying talk American, like you know what I'm saying.

If I'm in America, you know what I'm saying.

You would expect that the dominant languages English.

But even if they talk American, when you can't just say talk America is crazy.

Imagine you in their country.

Though.

There's also customs, right, so things that we're accustomed to doing here that may be offensive to other places.

It's like you got to do your due diligence before you travel.

Any worse that you're not by accident, you know, because you're just ignorant to the culture offending people.

There was something I saw, was it about tipping, Like it's offensive to tip something ja American.

Multiple countries that they'll take it offensive that you're tipping because that's not primary culture for them.

Right.

Well, I've been looking to go into Japan, so I've been reading up on cultures.

I also know that it is definitely it's disrespectful to talk on your cell phone in an elevator, It's disrespectful to have a private conversation.

And like, these are things that I'm just looking to learn.

But to your point, how about you learn about the culture before you go there and get yourself in trouble.

Because when we went to Dubai, everyone knows I like to smoke a little bit.

I didn't take not one ounce a week.

This is against your culture and I'm gonna be here for eight days.

Fine, I just I'm not small.

I wasn't looking for none.

I didn't need it now.

But some time Americans will go and be like, well we can do this here, and now you in jail.

You know that that happens.

What was the dude?

Remember the dude when he was younger Singapore, he graffiti the car and got that.

And got the got the lashes.

I remember, yeah, so to do to Singapore.

He traveled to Singapore and he wrote graffiti as a way to mark that he was there, but got arrested for it.

And he and him yes, and Americans it was do that to people for graffiti.

You can't came them.

And it was just like, bro, he's not in America.

He was watching uh Peter Jennings and he's talking about that on TV.

Peter j is like a good feed.

Because you don't go to no country and like your privileged white boy from America and go to another country and then just like raise paint somebody's car.

There's gonna be crazy greap percussions for it, regardless if you think you should have got away with.

It or not like that.

Oh for sure.

Absolutely, any jet to holiday stories like while you were traveling, like oh my god, this went totally wrong.

Absolutely.

I want to preface this by saying, I believe that I've done thirty one countries.

It might be thirty two, but I've tried to country.

I like it.

Yeah mine, yeah.

Mine, thirty one thirty one countries.

Tell them your accomplishment.

You're about to hit though, oh shoot, oh yeah.

So we're flying to uh China h later this month with my wife for airing Envy.

Shout out to airing Envy.

We're gonna meet with some manufacturers out there, my favorite.

But on my way back, I'll be hitting my a million, one million mile coming back with Delta exclusively.

Already.

But for you know all the test purposes with Delta, I'll be a million miles.

I used to watch it travel, you'd be living in the sky.

Yeah, a lot of places, a lot of places.

Lines that.

I want to I want to travel.

I've signed all the boys up from they were born, so that hopefully by the time they hit like eighteen, there will be million miles.

I'll be dope.

They're all signed up.

That'll be dope.

They're all those people to talk American.

Yeah, all those miles coming stories and experiences.

Yeah, for sure, for sure.

That's why I told you I always have one to in homeschool in them so we have the freedom just to like travel at our whim and our leisure.

You know, have you all a travel You ever traveled with your daughter?

Yes?

You got eleven country leven stand something Bassport.

Let me tell you.

The most, the most I don't want to say belittling, but I felt small being in Madrid with your son and being lost and not being able to speak the native language fluently enough to communicate to feel comfortable, made me feel like.

This much of a person.

Bro Like That's why I really hope people go and travel and learn about cultures and learn about things because being there and Jackson was six at the time.

We had we were on the bus and I had already mapped it out of my head.

I'm like, listen, I know the bus line.

I mapped it out.

As long as we stay on the bus line, we cool.

Stay on the bus line.

We get off the bus line.

He's like, Dad, I gotta go to the bathroom.

So I said, let's walk into this museum.

Oh, you got to pay to go in the museum.

Okay, we go in the museum, but you got to exit on the other side of the museum.

So when we came out, we came out on a different side of the building.

I had no clue where I was, and I'm in like downtown Madrid and I'm just think of imagine you walk out of ran on me Plaza and then you see road road, road, circle road.

You like, I don't know which road.

I came from jet to holiday.

That was a freaking jet two holidays for me.

And then I'm walking and Jackson goes Dad like, what's up.

He's like, we lost bro.

My stomach was in my freaking heart, bro Like it was like I was like, I was like, no, we're not lost man.

And we walked for like an hour thirty minutes and I'm walking around looking and looking, and finally my ego was like, yo, you gotta ask somebody, right, So I said, how could I ask somebody without looking like a tourist because the sun was going down.

So I pulled my key cart out, walked over to a guy that was sitting in the taxi stand and I was just like, you know what I'm saying.

I was just like, hotel, hotel, you know, hotel, and he was just like, oh, I'll take you, bro, get in the hotel.

Two and a half blocks.

We had walked that far that he literally went scoo cool.

Cool and got in the cab.

It took me right there.

But when I tell you, I was so scared, and I said to myself, I don't ever want my son to feel like this.

So I got to make sure he traveling even when we go, because she she knows I'll be in my house all day.

But when she says she wanted to travel somewhere, I'm like, I wasn't my idea.

That was her idea.

So I'm a rock understand and travel etiquette too.

You know, the kids should be accustomed to knowing what it's like to get on a plane, travel somewhere, look after your things, check for your bags.

You know, it's a lot of it.

Sometimes it's just even like life lessons that are intertwined into the experience, so much.

Traveling through the airport and you could just see they've never gone through an airport before.

Oh for sure, absolutely.

And then you have the TSA agent that expects that everyone does this every day, like they do, so they're yelling at people about what to do when it's like literally people going through for the first person and super scared and super intimidated by the whole experience.

I like that.

I walk right past him.

It could be a lot.

Get out my weight, man, I'm going to custom you know much.

Funny know, we should talk a little bit about that.

Man.

Like people be intimidated to travel, do your research beforehand, find out what time, how long before the flight you should get there.

The number one reason people hate the travel is because if my flight is right, they want to get to the airport at nine thirty.

Then they get there and they don't know where anything is, so now they panic.

Then it's no give yourself two hours if you don't travel often, so you can get there and you can ask some questions, you can move around.

The lines are going to be long.

People are traveling.

That's just what it is.

Someday you're gonna walk into the airport and you're gonna be online for thirty minutes, unless you're a frequent flyer.

So people need to know too, like it can give you anxiety if you're not prepared.

Just give yourself time.

The more rule of traveling.

Occupations have occupations.

Oh that's a good one.

That's moment of truth.

You heard it here first, bars.

That's.

Shut up.

Any other jet to holiday stories.

Yes, so back in twenty nineteen nineteen.

We're y'all together again.

Huh, we're together.

We travel the world together with other people.

I brought the love of my life this time, and it wasn't Matt.

We went to India for the very first time and it was the very last time as well.

Not for me.

Let me tell you something, man, I've been all over this world and India has some very beautiful parts, but it has some has some other parts that I was not aware of.

And everything I see online right now, that's everything that I saw in India at that time in person, live and direct.

And what's funny is Matt and I we we we went with the purpose of going to like the Holley Festival.

Yes, yeah, we went to the Holly Holy.

Holy Festival early March, and we didn't know that they like kids will.

First off, we didn't know India had hy ens, all right.

Number one, we were in Delhi, they had Wayians.

They were chasing us in the street with chicken feet, like like a chicken's foot, not cooked chas.

So for clarity on the story, just in case anybody wants to jump in and jump us, we didn't go to an organized Holly festival situation.

We were just trying to figure it out forty Yeah, we don't really know much.

So we thought we could just go there find people throwing paint powder, yeah, and see what it is.

That's not how it was.

It was certain places that have organized a fence for that we were doing.

We basically ended up in Brownsville, East, New York.

Wow, DEI, we were in the hood, like actual hood.

It was Matt got smacked with this thing in his face, with the powder in his fate.

It was it like a jew job job type situation.

Got it all, all these colors.

It is one of the most colorful festivals in India.

But we weren't prepared for there's no guide to this.

There's a certain place that you go to in India.

We are not there.

We are waiting from that location.

But the whole country celebrates it, right, so we weren't.

Like we later on we found out we should have went to this specific place, but you know, flights going in, so we like, all right, let's catch the festival.

Let's go to Caribbean Day Parade.

And it was legit.

So yeah, that was our ject to Holliday story.

Man.

We still had a great time.

One you you lucky, you made it.

Trying to press you out.

That's part one.

There's a part two.

We end up saying we want to go to Ta ma Hall.

We in Deli to Mahall is like three three hours away on the speed train on the like express on express train, we take the local train, and we had no idea.

We tried not to take the local train, but that we had it was an attitude situation that was.

Ad So we got we got in the taxi, We got in the taxi, We got trying to get to the transtation in the morning.

It's a huge amount of traffic, like early morning on that highway.

You can't go anywhere.

Driver at the park and say, y'all gotta walk.

So we run into the train now so we don't miss it.

Get to the train.

The training we end up, Uh, did we get the tickets yet?

We didn't get to We didn't get the tickets.

We end up getting online to get the tickets to get on the train.

Nobody spoke English there.

There's no service to use Google Translate anything like that.

You ain't tell nobody speaking American.

Driver was looking at my phone if you remember, was Yeah.

The driver was so suspicious of us.

He kept looking the whole time he's driving.

I'm in the backseat.

He's driving.

He's looking like this.

I'mh I get it.

You're want to jump out it.

I try to.

Think about a taxi, think about a taxi in Jamaica, and two random dudes it's not Jamaica, said y'all want to go to Kingston.

Remember when I kept saying that.

And he was like no, on.

Same situation.

He was.

He didn't say no, he took it, but he's just he's just watching us he's just keeping.

It about four o'clock in the morning as well.

As you should.

We end up getting the train station.

We get end up getting the wrong ticket.

We end up getting a local ticket, but we don't know that.

We get on the train.

Were sitting on the train, cool.

We get to the next stop.

People come on the train.

We cool.

Coming to the next stop, people come and training like, hey, you're in our seats.

We don't know that there's assigned seats for this train.

So we got attitudes getting up from their seats like come on, man, what's we're getting up?

We get up, go to the next, next seat, next stop.

More people come on the train like yo, y'all in our seats.

So we end up getting up.

We end up standing now because the train packed.

It goes to the next stop.

Now train is packed, like we at Atlantic Avenue after the next game and everything just happened downtown.

You cannot get on the train.

People start coming through the windows of the train.

I'm standing.

I'm like they were just pushing again, on.

Pushing again, the only.

Way they could get to the city, to their small town where they live.

Yo.

These trains like like the airplanes have, like these h luggage compartments.

Right, it's open luggage.

You put your luggage.

I remember the picture.

People are sitting and laying down up there.

Y'all see pictures.

When I have pictures, I'll put it.

When you say people coming through the window, they're coming through the window.

Excuse me, excuse me.

And then they're climbing on top of it getting their phones out.

This is what even as he's saying that, he's not saying it proper context for what I want to say later.

Those are kids off there, so you you're just looking at it's packed his kids.

It's kids, and they're taking bags off and his kids in up there.

There was a grown adults sitting up there.

Too, but the parents are putting their kids up there because it's.

Like it's the only spot we have to get on this.

These are not things we're thinking about.

We're just trying to get to to context.

Zoom out.

This is the only way they could get from the big city to the small town where they live.

This is the only train.

Especially, so there's people running on the platform while the train moving, trying to get on.

Stuff like that.

And this is no disrespect to anybody, but no one wore deal around that train.

All right.

This is not no, I'm not disrespecting anybody, but I mean this is what it is dealing with.

You're dealing with a compact train, right, people barefoot, summertime, people sweating this.

Vendors he said, the train is packed.

It's still vendors walking through the train, selling, selling soups everything everything.

You know how smell?

Yeah, grab yourself with sip.

You think nobody is standing between your legs, you got another thing coming because there's there's a random dude that's going to make room and stand between your legs while you're sitting on that.

Yeah, that's why he wont to clarify nothing, you know what.

That's that's good though.

This is why you gotta pack your patience.

Bro.

Plan when you travel around the world.

But even but even when you plan, just plan for it to go wrong and you have to pivot.

That That's why I always say paccupations.

That's true, don't You're right?

I had a plan to you better play, I think.

But I think planning is great, but I think some of the best experiences comes where you don't plan either, and you.

Just you just like, let's just anybody, no I'm not telling somebody do that.

But now we travel.

We wing it my wife and that we travel.

Sometimes you're like, you know, you want to go here, but you might just wing it a little bit and out of that.

Winging you might get a little his story.

But it's cool wing with Gavin around.

And we got that run in the car and almost missed our cruise ship.

Back to I.

They were like cross because they might hijack you while you're out.

And I'm just like another situation.

The sun is going down and I'm like, yo, Gavin, we gotta go back.

He's like, nah, something we good Gavin.

Gavin from the hood to so Gavin thinks everywhere he could fight anybody, because I'm like, bro Win Cosmo, you don't know these people, bro, they don't speak American.

They're not going to give the minute you say I'm from Brooklyn, they not.

Gonna They got the version of browns over there too.

And that's the fact that's important for people to know that there's a version of Brownsville.

Everywhere and don't on Brooklyn.

That's that's the Browns that's our hood, Brownsville.

There's flat bushes everywhere, there's a canards seat everywhere.

So I don't think you the toughest wherever you go, because there's some people that's going through some ship that's been like, wait a minute, arrogant American, I'm taking everything you got.

That is a fact.

Surround out that story real quick.

But like for me, it's all my travel stories are really important because I dropped out of school and I just started traveling because I felt like that was the best way for me to gain experience in life.

And it worked for me.

The India sorry for me, the Mahaw picture.

All of those stories come to me when I see that picture because I remember and when I got there, it was like, this place is beautiful, and that's what it felt.

Absolutely worth it.

But it gave me compassion for people.

I don't ever complain about m t A or those types of ever.

Josh said, word, we could, but you.

Could just taxi, but we didn't know that serious.

We could have took up their fifty dollars taxi and we would have been good.

We'd have been miserable, but yeah, but you.

Don't got that license.

Story now now gave me the moment of truth.

Matt, Traveling the world does teach you compassion.

For Yeah, you know, you walk around thinking that you've.

Got it so bad until you travel the world and like man like running water, something that we think is so regular.

You go somewhere else and you like, they don't even have running water.

Get your empathy.

I was thinking the slums that we were in.

You could see you can see electrical poles that have like thousands of wires on it, like it looks like he's about to burn down, and you can see the poverty that these people are living.

Being on that train.

Being on that train, you felt you felt almost too good to be on that train.

It was like you're privileged and you shouldn't be on this train.

But when you look at everybody else on that train and what they gotta do, like they gotta deal with every day, they realize, like, you're so blessed if you're hundred percent blessed, Yeah.

Beyond blessed.

That's a fact.

You see that situation, it's like, I'm never going to forget how I saw this or how I felt everything that was happening that.

You know, it's crazy when you hear about Flint.

We lived in Canton, Michigan for a minute, and when all the stories about Flint started coming out, it made me realize that, like, Yo, just just one town over from Canton, runtown over is Flint.

They don't have running water there and haven't had running water there for decades.

Right, if you really think about that, I think about what the story you just told.

There are places in America in the same exact thing, and it gives you empathy for people.

When you traveled and seen something outside of your front porch, it shows you, like Yo, I do have to value what I have, yes, right, but I also have to value.

What other people have gone through.

So when you come onto a train and someone may have an attitude or someone may have like a bad disposition, think about it.

They may be going through something just to get here that you haven't.

And that's what traveling really is like.

Travel essentially can make you kinder of a person because you just never understand what people are going through.

I think the one experience that I've value so so much, and Devo was there for it and Josh as well, was going back to where my dad is from, you know, like traveling back to somewhere where my family originated and seeing the humble beginnings of my father having to walk five miles in the morning to get to you know, milk the cows, to come back to have breakfast, you know, before school.

Like those things just made me think, wow, like people are still there living in those spaces, and I'm like, in my mind, I'm like, it's unfathomable how they're able to function day to day like that.

But they're just so grateful for what they have and they haven't experienced anything more than that.

But it really makes you appreciate.

Well, for me, where my family has come from and then what I have now.

Travel definitely, that was one of the first thing that came to mind for me, is like it makes you a kinder person because you've seen so much.

Traveling worked out well for me.

I love traveling with you.

You opened my eyes up to a lot of things.

Like I didn't travel.

The first time I left the country was go to Nova Scotia when I was eighteen, when my parents took us there.

But then after that I was in college.

I had never traveled the world ever.

So then when Kate was like, let's start going places, it really opened my mind up and just taught me how to appreciate, gave me more perspective gave me a broader perspective, but also it made me hungry though, Like going to travel more with you made me wonder, like what's going on over there?

But I do agree with Treble.

I'm more interested in going to Africa than I am going to Europe.

Like I just everything I've heard about Africa from young was just about how bad Somalia was, and you know, like it's like they programmed us to not ever want to go back and see, but because of social media, now we get a chance to see.

And he was like, wait a minute, why does that look like New York over this?

Like wait a minute, Nigeria has a place that looks like San Francisco.

Is you know what I'm saying, Like I want to go see all.

Of that, all the doings.

Yeah, let's stupid.

Come on, you'll get your passports ready.

I agree with de Vell, but I want to push the narrative a little bit more and encourage more people to go to Africa and more people to you know, explore their origins, especially black people for sure, explore their origins in Africa.

I've been to Nigeria and South Africa and Mauritius so far and I don't think I tested the surface.

I'm sure you have of what Africa has to offer?

Did you I did?

You did?

Are you Nigerian part partially?

Yeah?

Six percent Nigerian and Benina Togo.

Oh so those three countries make up sixty sixty six percent.

Of my gotcha, I'm thirty eight percent in Yeah, you're like eighty seven percent.

Yeah, yeah, Nigerian, bro.

It makes listen, listen, my green and my white.

Please give me a name to present the green and the white, you know.

But also understanding that all African countries are not equal, They're not the same, and they offer so many different things.

So I want to encourage your people to go to Africa understanding that Africa is a continent and not a necessarily exactly.

I think it's important for people.

There's several countries, the largest on the pet because the map slide.

Yeah, we have this idea.

That Africa is the smaller continent and I'm like, there's no way.

Yeah, there's no way if you really look at it.

But I mean, how we're gonna trust when they make the globes.

Yeah, you know, it's the largest and the richest continent on the planet.

Absolutely and even within the countries in Africa, there's hundreds of tribes.

So even the black people are not the same where we come from.

We see black people as a monolith.

You believe Black American or you know, y'all got New York so you got like Jamaican's, Caribbeans, all that Afro Latino.

But people have different tribal.

Traditions and ways of living and ways of celebrating, and it's amazing to see.

It's really amazing to see, and it's amazing to be embraced by folks.

I remember meeting some little girls in South Africa and they were like, oh, so your parents are African.

I'm like, no, they're American.

And they're like okay, but how did they get there?

Like what do you mean?

You know?

So like there's like a missing link.

Even in some of the interactions we are, we are alike.

And it was such such a beautiful experience because these little black girls, they were doing things, these little South African girls, they were doing things that black American girls do.

They wanted to touch my hair, they were in flaming hots, you know what I'm saying, Like right, and didn't know that there was black people in America.

So it's such a beautiful thing to reconnect with you.

I can't wait.

I got my eye on South Africa for this Thanksgiving.

Kas's birthday falls on Thanksgiving Day, and we're doing like alternating Thanksgivings where we do one with family and then one travel summertime.

It's summer and it's a little code there's I loved Cape Town.

I had a really great time in Cape Town.

It's really great I did.

I rented a car in Cape Town and I drove up.

First I went to this amphitheater is really really beautiful.

It has a Dutch name.

I can't think of it right now, but it's like back in the woods, and so all of the surrounding the stage is like natural stone unless that's carved out of the mountain, and then everything around it is green.

And then I went to Table Mountain.

Now, where you rent a car in another country, most of them are manual, so it's a stick.

I'm driving a stick up to the top of a freaking mountain on the coast.

It was a beautiful drive.

On the way down, I got to part of the city and I hit every car that was park.

Because you know, you.

Driving on the opposite side of the car, on the opposite side of the street.

So I'm like, I can't really see what, you know, what I'm next to.

I hate everybody's side few mirror.

I was just like, I gotta keep going.

I can't stop, man, I don't know nobody was by myself.

Just drive American.

She didn't say fifty pounds.

She spent five hundred pounds that far.

And I know they was already like, oh fuck, I still can't believe someone telling somebody to talk Americade like.

That doesn't even sound right to be bro.

Could you imagine saying that to somebody?

Absolutely not.

But you know, people, an, that's crazy.

That's what you said to drive American.

That's what she's telling these bill collectors who got to pay these bills.

How about y'all pay them in American.

I got my moment of truth.

That's my moment of truth.

I'm gonna tell y'all.

Now, let's take a break and we're gonna get into listen to letters.

So when we get back, all right, we'll back with our listed letter for the day.

I'm gonna dive right in.

Thank you so much for the beautiful book.

My husband and I write it together and I truly enjoyed it.

Thank you.

Who else is still reading and purchasing?

We over me.

We appreciate y'all.

I'm reaching out because I've been feeling stuck since becoming a mom to my two little ones, now two and four.

When I met my husband, I had just graduated, was working in a nonprofit medical center, running a small nonprofit of my own, hosting poetry events and personal training that was like a full pay.

I was living in my purpose, which we love that.

But when I became pregnant, I lost my job during the pandemic.

It had to put everything on pause.

Since then, I've pushed my husband to grow, which created conflict.

Therapy has helped me accept that he may never contribute in the way I hoped, and I'm learning to release that expectation.

Now I'm trying to figure out how to step into the next version of myself.

I've earned new wellness certifications, and I know I have what it takes to build something again, but community and trust have been the hardest to rebuild.

I don't want to do this alone again, but I also don't want to keep waiting and losing these years to hesitation.

I'm ready to move forward, but still finding my way back to feeling confident and rooted in purpose.

What ways have helped you create community and trust around the things that you want to build?

I don't want to create something again by myself and build partnerships that are not mutually beneficial.

How old had she said she was?

She did not say.

She just said that she had two little ones, two and four.

Her and her husband read the book.

It sounds to me like she's just going through the life process, you know, starting things, learning how to use discernment.

Some people probably did her wrong, which is going to happen in life, or maybe not even did her wrong.

She might have had some business partners who probably had some different synergies or things in the work out.

It seems like her and her husband don't have the same work ethic or drives.

Seem like she's a very driven person, right, high energy type A type person.

I mean, it seems like she's at the point in her life where she's starting to figure out that everybody isn't like her.

You know, we've gone through this before, and you figure out not to shame people, but also not to accept a lesser version of yourself because you want to fit in with those people, and.

Also releasing expectations because like she said, you know, when you have an expectation, especially within a partnership, that you're hoping the person changes, or the person grows, or the person adapts to your way of thinking, you can end up being really disappointed in that.

It's learning to accept the person for who they are and then now trying to find that village.

Right.

So, for example, with Divine and I'm building out our businesses, it's about finding individuals who have the work ethic but also the same mindset and can bring something to the table with their talent.

So remember we talked about working in groups, for example, whenever kids are now working in groups to develop that collaborative spirit.

Find people who have strengths and areas that you need in order to build that business up.

So a lot of times it could be like Triple Sat in the previous episode, going into spaces that have people who are like minded because you share the same interest.

Right.

So whatever this business is that you're trying to build, now maybe putting yourself in those kinds of spaces.

I also know that she said when I became pregnant, I lost my job.

So think about what you just said about being in those spaces with like minded people.

Right then, you go through pregnancy, and a lot of times when you go through pregnancy, not that you go through it alone, but you're going through a journey in your life where other people who aren't pregnant may not be able to go with you.

You know how some women say they lose friends during pregnancy.

You know, some guys say I lost my homies when my wife got pregnant or we started having kids.

It seems like she's going through that transition in life, you know, like it's a different phase of her life.

You have kids now, your wife.

You know, you may not have the same syner Jesus friends that you grew up with, but it's okay, find those people, like you just said.

And I think, like reading that while you listening to what you just said, her trying to find those people of like minds while going through a different, like phase of her life is going to be challenging.

But she's going to therapy, so she's learning about herself.

I think she's just had a phase in life where she's learning about herself.

It's like the startup all over again.

Right, that's always the hardest part to kind of like find your way through.

But it seems like you have the determination at least and the drive to you know, pick the pieces up and kind of create something beautiful for yourself.

And she's asking for ways to help build.

I think she's doing all the things to build right, going to therapy.

I hope she's continuing to talk to her husband, dropping expectations.

But yeah, I don't think there's any one thing we can tell her other than the fact that she keeps doing the work and life is going.

To work out for her in a beneficial way.

And building trust around the things you want to build, Yeah, just being being upfront and being vocal and being intentional, and that always helps when you're developing trust with someone in the very beginning phases of whatever it is that you're trying to build.

So good luck to you.

It seems like you got your head on straight.

It does seem like you're doing it right.

It's just rock with it might keep going.

Yeah, anything good worth having it takes time takes time.

Yeah, Yeah, all right, if you want to be featured in an episode coming up, I know this season may be coming to a close soon.

But listen, there's gonna be future seasons and we want to hear from you, so be sure to email us at the Ellis Advice at gmail dot com.

That's t H E E L L I A S A D V I C E at gmail dot com.

All right, moment of truth time.

We're talking about travel.

What that's like the importance of opening up your mind to actually stepping foot on the soil of other countries.

Anybody want to take it away?

I think Matt tod he had one to go.

Did you have a momentary back the patients?

I like that, I got another one.

I would say travel is very byly important.

Just do it.

You don't got to lead the country.

Uh, you can stay in the United stations.

Do it United stations very broad ride like yeah, but Josh definitely definitely step outside of your comfort zone, out of your neighborhood, out of your state, and explore.

Get off your block.

That's in truth is that nothing beats a Jetsu holiday.

That's a fact.

Absolutely nothing done.

Especially when you can say fifty pounds per person.

As don't ever in your life, no matter where you are, tell somebody to talk.

It's my moment of truth, bro, Like I can't even imagine, bro, because I was lost to Madrid and I never thought to tell somebody to talk about it.

Was like, Bro, I gotta figure this outhing about.

We ate pizza her twice because I can figure.

Out pizza from the very least.

Tango tango, no keto, movest tango.

I gotta do better.

But I did not say talking about.

I love it well.

Jackson's is immersed into Spanish this year, so we got to make sure you're speaking at home with us.

Make sure we at least get one language under our beltish like I'm doing it myself and my family the service.

You're not speaking Spanish to me?

You read language.

I learn a couple of choice phrases.

Like what.

Well, how does one say, got got five thousand Spanish?

Josh, you lost me?

You lost me.

It's not it's not my conversation, bro.

Think of me.

Let's think for me, my mow and the truth is, ditch the tramp stamp and get you a passport stamp.

How about that?

That's where the true wealth is.

You know what I'm saying in memories and building memories and it will overall I think make you a more kind, compassionate human when you can see how other people live.

My other one was the travel will help you start developing more gratitude.

That's a fact.

Oh for sure, Oh for sure.

Look at you the wealth of humanity today.

Travel develop a humanity man, Travel, meet people, see different walks of life, see how people people live, and don't tell me.

That's just mind.

I know it is, I know it is.

Be sure to find us on Patreon if you have not subscribed yet.

That's where you can get exclusive Ellis Family content as well as the Ellis ever After After show, and you can find us on social media at l sever After on Instagram and TikTok.

I'm Kadeene, I am, I am Devo, I'm Underscore matt Elis before Josh God.

Let me say this real quick because my mother found a podcast.

Thank you Ma for introducing me to travel.

Oh good job.

Shout out to Edna and I'm joshaw Wayne from Josh Dwayne.

I hope you hope you know.

I'm Trips the Cool at t ri I bb Z that's cool on everything.

And if you're listening on Apple podcast, be sure to rape.

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Got Ellis ever After is an iHeart Media podcast.

It's hosted by Kadeen and Daval Ellis.

It's produced by Triple Video, Production by Joshua Duane and Matthew Ellis, video editing by Lashan Broe.

To give Me Hands, had.

To give me hands, To give me to Kip had