Well, cheating on the husband, are we not?

If I have anything to do with it?

Said?

Hey there, mister Redder, Here and Karen, welcome back to another episode of Reddit podcast Stories.

Our first story will be reading today.

Karen has an emotional affair on her husband and leaves him.

I give her a piece of my mind.

Hello all, it's been rough with my only daughter as of late.

My husband and I, both of us are fifty five.

We have one daughter who's thirty.

We have been married, coming up on thirty two years.

My daughter was in a long relationship and married for approximately nine years, and for a long time I thought that it was a good relationship, when out of nowhere, around three years ago, she decided to divorce her ex husband.

We were told it was a mutual decision, but that ultimately he wasn't the greatest partner and there were many things that she was not satisfied within their relationship, so she wanted to leave and we supported her decision.

About a year after the divorce, she introduced us to her new boyfriend, and while my husband and I thought it may be a bit early to date, we decided to continue to support her and meet him.

He was and is a very charming man who treats our daughter wonderfully, and you can tell that she's extremely happy.

Now onto the argument.

Recently, we were talking with one of our daughter's friends who was visiting our town and were discussing our daughter's job and her wonderful boyfriend.

Her friend, in the conversation made a comment about how they were lucky to be in the same orientation together when they started work.

As soon as she saw our confused faces, she gave us the full story as she realized we hadn't been given it.

Our daughter had told us while her and her boyfriend worked for the same employer, they didn't meet until after the divorce.

We pressed the friend for more information, and she begrudgingly told us that our daughter and her boyfriend had met during orientation at work while our daughter was going through her marital issues.

This led to them becoming closer and her filing for divorce from her ex husband a year later.

So later that day I asked to have a conversation with my daughter and I brought up what her friend had told us.

She turned white as snow and basically confirmed her friend's story, but reiterated that there was no physical cheating.

I told her that physical cheating was not the only way that you could hurt someone, and that it appeared that she had emotionally cheated on her ex husband.

He may not have been the greatest person, but it didn't excuse her actions.

I told her that I was disappointed in her, and while I supported her leaving a bad marriage, that I couldn't look at her and her boyfriend the same in this new light in regards to cheating.

I still love her and will treat her boyfriend with respect, but it is definitely something I have a hard time looking past.

She got angry with me for not continuing to support her in her journey beyond divorce.

Am I the jerk?

Based on how judgmental you come across in this post, it's no wonder your daughter doesn't open up and talk to you about most things.

It sounds like she never truly confided in you with her marital issues, especially since you were shocked when she went to get divorce out of nowhere around three years ago she decided to divorce her ex husband.

That being said, you have no idea how bad things were for her or what she was really going through leading up to that, and If she had a coworker that she could confide in and that supported her, that's great.

She deserves to have someone there who she could marriage is in long before the divorce is even requested most of the time, and if that friendship and support turned into something more after, then good for her.

You're her mother.

You can be disappointed and think you know better all you want, but pulling your support from her and talking down to a grown adult, you're the jerk.

She may be your kid, but she isn't a kid anymore.

It's her life and she deserves to be happy.

You're the jerk.

She divorced him for a reason.

It's not like she strung her ex along.

She left him, and then a whole year later she got with her current boyfriend.

Wow, just wow, you're the jerk one you think dating someone new a year after a divorce is somehow now too soon.

What two you admit that you know that your daughter had marital issues before she met this new guy, yet you've drawn the conclusion that he was somehow a part of her filing for divorce because she was emotionally cheating on her husband.

Again.

What three you concede her husband was a bad partner while omitting any information on why or how he was a bad partner, but then said it didn't excuse her actions.

What actions does she need to excuse?

OP, talking to a new friend who happens to be male.

You claim you support her choice to leave a bad marriage.

Did it not occur to you, OP that your daughter filed for divorce when she met a man who as a friend treated her with the respect and care that she had always wanted from her husband but had never gotten.

Did it occur to you that maybe meeting him showed her that she didn't have to settle for what she had been living with.

She clearly lied to you about it because she knew this is how you'd react.

Are you even disappointed with your daughter?

OP?

Are you sure the disappointment isn't with yourself not the jerk?

Hmm.

Don't quote me on this, but it appears that all of the ladies here on Reddit don't see any sort of problem with meeting a guy at work that you hit it off with, having an emotional affair on your husband, then leaving him so you can be happy with your affair partner.

Haha.

You know her poor husband is paying alimony, paying child support if they had any kids, and probably trying to hang on for dear life because the woman he thought he'd be spending the rest of his life with turned out to be a fluke.

I feel bad for the guys who end up marrying all of you till death do us part?

Yeah?

Right, Well, who do you think is the jerk?

O pie or her daughter?

Please let us know.

If only I had a job I could go to, maybe I'd meet a man whose head didn't look like a balloon?

Am I the jerk for telling my husband the nanny is in charge?

I want to preface this by saying that I'm aware this is a very privileged issue, but I'm just trying to get some perspective on my opinion.

My husband and I have three kids that are ten months, three years, and six years old.

My husband has a high profile job and it means he's gone often.

I work a regular nine to five.

We originally use daycare for our oldest, but my middle was born right when lockdown started, so we hired a nanny.

She originally worked when I did, but by the time the baby came around, I was very overwhelmed doing bath and bedtime on my own.

On top of developing postpartum depression.

After a breakdown, we spoke with the nanny and she agreed to adjust her hours, so she's helping me with dinner, bath and bedtime.

We've gotten close over the past six months doing this.

In many ways, she's become like a third parent of the kids.

She's so good with them.

We've created a routine that works well.

I tend to the baby during bath, in bed, she handles the other two.

It's a nice rhythm, and my mental health has gotten so much better.

My husband isn't traveling all the time, but most nights he isn't even home for dinner and bedtime.

He will help me weekends that he's home, but because he's gone so often, he's reluctant to be firm with the kids.

There are times he's come home when our nanny is there.

He tries to help her with bath and bedtime, but allows the boys to rough house, lets them break the routine, and it seriously throws them off and delays bedtime.

My nanny shared with me that she feels awkward.

Obviously, she doesn't want to undermine her employer, but it just makes her job harder.

But my husband also doesn't want her to go home when he arrives, as he says he can't handle it alone.

I told him, if that's the case, then he needs to defer to the nanny and follow her lead.

She knows our boy's best and she has to deal with the aftermath when they don't listen and give her a hard time.

My husband feels that she's just an employee and he's the dad.

His salary does pay for her.

However, I don't feel this is fair to her.

I told him he either follows her lead for bedtime and bath time or he doesn't help at all.

He told me, I'm allowing the nanny to take over and replace him.

Am I the jerk?

Not the jerk?

I'm so angry reading these responses.

Your husband doesn't want a parent.

Your husband wants to be a fun time uncle who comes in, riles everyone up, dishes out sweets, make sure they don't have their bedtimes, and then dips out when the kids start having unpleasant reactions to the disruption.

These you're the jerk comments are unhinged and blatantly jerks.

Dads also have to parent.

It is completely reasonable if the only partner doing any parenting puts their foot down on an unacceptable behavior.

Partner edit, because I'm feeling salty on Op's behalf goodness.

You are all jerks.

Why does dad always get to be the fun time guy and Mum always have to be the downer doing the actual parenting.

This is a huge problem in society.

You're sitting here perpetuating a bad system as if it's good for the kids.

You know, what is really good for kids is having a father who's an active partner in parenting.

It's also completely false that kids won't recognize as they grow that their dad didn't try with them to actually be present in their lives.

When they look back as adults, it's going to be mum.

They respect Mum who provided this safe, healthy environment for them to grow up.

Ben agreed, Dad's gone all the time, so when he's home, he wants to be seen as the fun friend, not the parent.

The nanny either stays as he requests and he follows her routine, or the nanny leaves and he deals with the crap part of parenting, bath and bedtimes, etc.

While keeping the kids on their routine.

Otherwise, eventually they'll lose the nanny and the only loser there is going to be as mom having to deal with all of the crap herself when dad's gone.

Not the jerk.

Ignore the aggrieved men in the comments.

If your husband wants to help with bedtime, then he needs to actually help with the bedtime, not make it harder than it needs to be, or else he needs to do it alone and deal with the consequences of riling the boys up, not the jerk.

As their dad, it's his job to make sure they're healthy and happy, and sticking to their routine is the best way of doing that, aside from special occasions.

Of course, either he needs the nanny there or he doesn't, but he can't insist she stay and then make her job worse.

I'm sure at his high profile job, he would immediately sack someone who interfered with his ability to competently perform his duties.

If he wants to goof off with the kids, let him make time for them.

That isn't at bedtime.

You're the jerk.

Your husband is a high profile man who worked hard to provide for you and the kids.

He may manage his job well, but his family is another story.

Once he began losing control and letting you make all the rules and telling him how it was going to go.

That's when he lost the future that he could have had with a great family.

We as fathers have to lead our families with a strong yet loving demeanor.

I know nobody here will agree with that, but hey, maybe that's why you guys have all the issues you do.

You think you can figure out this world all on your own, Well, good luck with that.

As for me, I put my faith in my heavenly father and I follow his word.

Am I the jerk for telling my wife to mind her own business?

My wife, thirty seven female, and I thirty eight male, move to a new neighborhood about three years ago with our two kids, who are eight and six.

Our neighbors across the street have two kids who are nine and seven that our kids quickly became friends with.

We would hang out with the parents as well, and my wife became close friends with the mom.

The dad and I got along fine, but never got as close as my wife and the mother.

Unfortunately, about a year ago, the parents separated and the mom filed for divorce.

Apparently the dad had an affair.

The mom moved out as the house was owned by the dad before they got married, she took the kids with her.

According to my wife, the mom tried to get full custody of the kids, but the dad asked for and was granted partial custody, so he has the kids three weekends a month.

The rest of the time they stay with their mom.

I've only very briefly talked with the dad about the whole thing, as he obviously feels a lot of shame about the affair, and we aren't close enough for me to feel I can ask deep questions about it.

The kids all still play together when they can.

I noticed my wife would make it a point to make sure our kids invited them over to our house.

I also noticed that my wife was asking the neighbor care some pretty odd and honestly rather intrusive questions about their dad, like if he has friends over at his house when they are there, what he feeds them, what rules he has at home, do they feel safe there, et cetera.

This past weekend, the kids were at our house and stayed over for dinner, and my wife asked the kids if they like hanging out with their dad or mom more.

I cut in before the kids could answer, and I changed the subject to watching a movie.

After dinner, as my wife and I were cleaning up, I asked her what all the questions were about.

She said that her friend is still trying to get full custody of their kids, and she asked my wife if she would keep an eye out for anything that she could use to build the case against the dad.

I was shocked.

I told her that's none of her business and she needs to stay out of it.

I told her it seems like her friend is still upset about the affair and is using that anger as justification to try and take the kids away from their father.

I told her that neither of us have ever seen a single thing to indicate that this guy is a bad father.

Sure, he had an affair and that makes him a bad husz, but that has zero influence on his ability to be a good, loving father.

I told her what her friend asked her to do was gross, and the fact that she's going along with it is something that I strongly disagree with.

I told her she needs to mind her own business.

She said she's just trying to look out for her friend, and she's trying to make sure that the kids end up in a situation that is best for them.

I told her that essentially spying on our neighbor is not her responsibility and she's definitely in the wrong for asking the kids the kind of questions that she is.

She feels she's completely justified, but I do not not the jerk.

Putting the kids in the middle and using them as a weapon to get revenge on the father is not what is best for them, even if he is a jerk.

Not the jerk, but you should remind your wife that in her re quest to help her friend remove the kids from their dad, she's causing parental alienation.

The dad is going to eventually figure it out because the kids are going to answer honestly about the questions and conversations.

Whatever information your wife gets and passes along to her friend is going to come out in a custody hearing.

Your wife would potentially be called to testify that she was the one who asked the questions or obtained the information.

The dad would potentially have grounds to sue your wife and her friend would lose custody or custody time for parental alienation.

Your wife's mission is going to negatively affect her family because your kids are going to be upset when they lose their friends because the father won't let them be around your wife when he figures out what she's doing, and you potentially face legal bills if the dad decides to sue your wife.

Even if he loses, you still have to pay a lawyer to represent your wife.

Your wife doesn't think there are any ramifications for her or you or your kids, and there are serious ones.

Your wife is obsessed with helping her friend and is willing to risk her own family's well being to do it.

She needs therapy.

Am I the jerk for not letting my daughter miss out on stuff just because her stepsister doesn't get to go to My husband has a daughter from a previous relationship, Mattie, who's fifteen.

Before I even met my husband, Mattie's mother moved abroad.

Mattie decided to go live with her.

My husband and I have been married for ten years and we have an eight year old daughter, Abby.

Mattie visits us for the whole summer and two weeks in the winter.

We go to her when Abby is on spring break.

We obviously save big family trips for when Mattie is with us, same with any other Once in a lifetime.

Even However, my husband is consistently reluctant to do pretty much anything without Mattie.

I tried to be patient, but it feels like we can't do anything throughout the year until she gets there.

An example, we live near a water park.

We have season passes and take Maddie all throughout the summer, but my husband refuses to go until Maddie comes to stay with us, and he doesn't want Abbey to go, as it's unfair.

I've tried discussing this with him, but he won't budge.

Sometimes I win him over, but then he complains the entire time that Mattie isn't there.

Abby loves Taylor Swift, who is going to be in the area for a limited time, and before Mattie would arrive, my mom somehow scored us tickets and Abbey was so excited.

My husband said it wasn't fair because Mattie also loves Taylor Swift and she doesn't get to go.

I said I'd take both girls to another concert during the summer, as there's going to be a few other artists that I know Maddie likes in the area.

My husband said that it still isn't fair and tried to ban Abby from going because I know it will be asked.

It's not possible for Maddie to fly out for the concert.

She still has school and important exams that cannot be missed.

I put my foot down and said that life isn't always going to be fair.

Mattie lives in another country.

She's going to miss out on things.

It's not fair to ask Abby to give up fun opportunities because Mattie can't come.

I pointed out that Maddie gets to do fun things with her mom and Abby isn't there, which I think is completely fair.

My husband said that's different because his ex isn't Abbie's mom, but he's Mattie's dad.

Eventually he could see I wasn't going to give up and said yes to the concert.

My mom, Abby and I attended and we had a great time.

It was Abby's first concert and she loved it.

My husband says I bullied him into this and that if Mattie didn't get to go, Abby shit in either.

Mattie is disappointed she didn't get to go, but she seems happy for her sister.

Am I the jerk not the jerk?

The longer this behavior continues, Abby will start to feel like Mattie is more important to their dad.

He's trying so hard to make sure Mattie doesn't miss out that he's making Abby miss out.

Mattie has her life with her mom plus her life with her dad, and what Abby is supposed to sit around and put parts of her life on hold, missing out on experiences and chances to learn and grow in the meantime.

Don't think so.

Your husband needs to reassess how he's handling things, or this could really harm Abby's future relationship with both him and her sister.

So you want to be informed about every customer transaction bad.

A few years back, I used to work retail at a brick and mortar shop owned by a guy that well, let's just say that if we left him alone, the place would fall apart within minutes.

There was myself, two other associates, and two assistant managers, one of whom bought the business out, turned it into an online shop and is doing pretty well for himself.

But I digress said owner had no clue how our inventory system worked, let alone our POS system, But he absolutely insisted that he knew everything about the place inside it out and threatened you with unemployment when every things didn't go his way.

One day, I called his bluff and walked.

Not thirty minutes later, while I was sitting in a nearby park did he call me begging for me to come back.

Squeezed a sizable raise out of him in the process.

This know at All owner was so convinced of his hype that he insisted and demanded that we call him after every customer transaction go over what was said so he could tell us we were wrong, even after up selling and setting up a delivery account.

Mind you, this is in the Upper West Side of Manhattan, where it's busy for roughly five out of the eight hours during any given shift.

Cue the malicious compliance.

Despite a line of customers at my register, I had to stop things, pick up the phone and make the call.

All while my line of customers and what would be typical New York levels of patients would drop their stuff and walk out.

The ones that stuck around waited the five maybe ten minutes each phone call.

It got so bad at one point one of my regulars grabbed the receiver and proceeded to lay in to Know it All owner about how he's losing business because of his crazy policy.

Owner dug in his heels, though, bless his heart, and insisted that things be done his way.

All right, bed, I tried to keep the conversations receiver, only now it's been upgraded to speakerphone.

Now everyone in the store, and I do mean everyone can hear how much of a colossal jerk he was.

This business that was once about five thousand dollars a day, and in store sales dropped to just north of one point five thousand, while deliveries, which were about six thousand a day, dropped to roughly half that, with online reviews being the most hilarious I've read since I started working retail and customer service decades ago.

Know it All Owner was forced to give up on his policy, eventually announcing his retire in a few months later and selling to the assistant manager I mentioned earlier.

It's something we still joke about years later on our occasional catching up sessions.

Me.

Hey, remember that time Know it All demanded that we call him after every transaction Assistant manager?

Yeah, I laughed in his face about it.

Hey didn't like me much after, Am I the jerk for insisting my pregnant sister switched bedrooms with me.

My sister and I both mid twenties.

I'm a few years older.

We share a house together.

It was our parents' house, and we both inherited it after they passed.

We have equal share in ownership of the house.

The house has four bedrooms.

One is the master room and has an end suite and a walk in wardrobe.

The other three just have built in robes.

When we both moved back in after deciding that neither of us wanted to sell, we agreed that she could have the master suite, but the two largest of the other bedrooms would both be mine.

One is an actual bedroom and the other is a gaming room for me.

The last and smallest bedroom is a guest Her boyfriend's been living here for a while, and she recently told me that she's pregnant.

I'm not particularly looking forward to sharing a house with a screaming baby, but it's her house too, and she has every right to be here and raise her kid.

Obviously, the baby will need a bedroom, and I was expecting that to be the guest room.

It's the smallest bedroom in the house, but it's still the same size as a standard bedroom, but my sister wouldn't go for that.

She's insisting I move my stuff out of my game room so that can be the baby's room.

I told her that I'm not moving my stuff into the guest room because that wasn't our agreement, but then she informed me that actually I won't be able to do that either, as we would still need a guest room, especially with the baby coming as her boyfriend's family will want a visit.

So I said, fine, you can have my game room if you move into my room and give me the master room.

She started crying and said that as a mother, she's going to need her own space and she deserves the master bedroom.

I asked what she expected me to do, and she said I should just suck it up and keep all my crap in my own room.

We're at an impasse and I can't get her to come to a real agreement with me.

She keeps calling me a huge jerk and says that I should let her have both the master bedroom and my gaming room because she needs them more.

Her boyfriend says I should just deal with it that because I don't want kids anyway, I should just suck it up.

My girlfriend, who also spends a lot of time here is on my side and says, my sister is being a spoiled and titled little brat.

Am I the jerk at it?

She can't buy me out, she doesn't have the money.

We each got some money along with the house, but she wanted a fancy range rover, so most of hers went to that, and she can't get alone because she's only working part time at the moment.

I still have all of my money, plus some of my own savings, so I will be having a discussion with her regarding buying her out.

The house is located in a nice expensive area, so what she gets from me for her half will be enough for her to buy an average three bedroom house in a cheaper area.

Really don't want to sell if I can help it, as the house has been in the family for a long time.

Not the jerk about giving up your rooms, But I am very doubtful this living situation is going to last.

She's doing a slow takeover and it will only get worse, especially if she has more kids.

Have you ever discussed her buying out your share or honestly just selling and getting your own home.

Not the jerk, Do not under any circumstances, give up your gaming room or else they're going to try and move you out of that house.

Tell her to take the guest room and make it an even two bedrooms for each.

The boyfriend's family can sleep on the sofa, or they can go to a hotel.

You own half of the house, not him.

Karen demands I pay her rent because she's pregnant and quit her job.

I'm eighteen female, and my brother who's twenty one, and his girlfriend, who are twenty are currently living with my parents, who are forty and forty six.

She moved in after my brother revealed that she was pregnant and that he wanted her to live with us in case something were to happen since he doesn't have his own place, and neither does she.

She is not a good person.

She's extremely manipulative, and she's bipole.

I've had problems with her in the past because I've caught her wearing my clothes, using my skincare and makeup, and just overall invading my privacy, as well as my younger brothers, who's seventeen.

I've brought this up to my parents, and they took it with a grain of salt, so I began to dislike her more and more as she continued to cause problems for me and my brothers.

Anyways, she's four weeks pregnant and she's already milking it.

She'll whine to my brother about her pregnancy cravings, how much her stomach hurts, how tired she is, how she needs a bigger bed to sleep in.

They sleep on a twin sized bed in the living room and a bunch of other bs.

She also brought up quitting her job due to feeling sick all the time, and my parents oppose this since she wouldn't be able to pay rent.

Fast forward a few days later and she quits.

Anyways, and she doesn't have rent money, and neither does my brother since his payday wasn't for another week or so.

So they come up to my room and ask for two hundred dollars to pay their rent.

I tell them no, and she goes on this rant about how six she feels and how much pain she's in because of the baby, and that she would have the money if she weren't forced to quit.

I explode on her and tell her that I don't give a hoot that she's pregnant a few weeks pregnant that and that she'll just be using it as an excuse to leech off my parents and my brother.

We get into a screaming match, which results in her crying and my brother calling me a heartless jerk, and they run and tell my parents about how Mina was being to her.

My parents are on my side, and they told her that I'm right about her being lazy and that they are not allowed to ask me or my younger brother for rent in the future.

But they thought that I took it overboard by saying that I didn't care that she was pregnant and for calling her a leech.

Her and my older brother are ignoring me now, and they said that if I don't apologize for what I said, then they are going to continue to not speak to me, and they're going to keep the baby away from me once she gives birth.

I'm not sure if I should apologize.

I want to be in the baby's life, but I simply do not feel sorry for anything I said.

Am I the jerk not the no need to apologize?

She is a leech and you don't have to care about her being pregnant.

Poor baby.

If there really is one.

Oh no, a lazy mother is going to keep her newborn away from me.

Whatever will I do?

Not the jerk, And for your sake, I hope they keep the baby away from you.

With two brothers and you being the sister, they will do almost anything to get free child care from you.

Lock down your stuff and your information.

Protect yourself from identity theft because they will take loans in your name.

Have a conversation with your brother, friend, or a parent in your shot about identity theft and how you would one hundred percent prosecute to the fullest extent.

These people are users and in the words of my grandmother, people will feed you crap as long as you eat it.

Am I the jerk for having a lights out wedding even though my in laws to be aren't happy about it.

I twenty seven female, am the daughter of the most amazing parents that ever did amaze.

No, they're not perfect, but they've literally done everything they could in their lives to make sure I was happy to the best of their ability.

They are also both blind.

Being raised by blind parents wasn't without its challenges, but we always found solutions or compromises.

But the one thing that was often a point of contention, especially when I was a teenager, was clothing in fashion.

My parents have their own way of being fashionable, and rather than appearance, its fabric and feel.

This has resulted in them having a very eclectic sense of fashion, but I honestly love it.

I admit that I hated it as a teenager, as I had no say over my own wardrobe purchases.

But I realized after I moved out that I really did prefer to feel comfortable in my clothes over how I looked in them.

Took many stupid expensive clothing purchases to realize this, but I digress.

Nothing is mismatched anymore, but I have a super cozy wardrobe.

With the wedding planning in full swing, my fiance asked me if I was going to be okay with the photos.

He did not mean this maliciously, It just didn't occur to him that I was originally planning to buy them clothing to wear.

But the more I thought about it, the more I thought would in a fabric wedding be special?

Essentially, the whole wedding will be in the dark.

I was inspired by a restaurant I saw in a movie.

I realized that I don't want to dress my parents.

I want them to be comfortable and to enjoy our wedding the way they experience it.

And the more I thought about it, the more I realized I want to experience this special day as they would too.

My fiance, honest to God, does not care and his mind the moment I said yes, I became his wife.

I love him.

To avoid accidents, We're going to be using glow stick lighting and everyone will be provided free bracelets and necklaces.

They light up enough to not crash into each other, but not so much as to light up the room.

We're also hiring event staff with night vision for this equipment too.

When we announced, most of the family was supportive.

My family goes without saying.

Fiance's family is iffy.

His brother loves the idea and is going to come in a velvet suit a lah Austin powers.

Honestly, it's his parents that are really against it.

We had a huge fight over it when they argued that it's not fair to punish the guests because my parents are blind.

The reason I think I may be the jerk is because the part of his family that is siding with his parents are vowing to boycott if we don't have lights.

My husband just thinks it's their loss and that his parents will attend, even if begrudgingly.

But I know it would hurt his relationship with them, and I don't want to do that.

It's not that this is a hill I'm willing to die on, but it's my wedding and this would be really special to me.

In quotations, because my husband has told me he would marry me in the Walmart if that's what I wanted.

He just wants to marry me.

Am I the jerk at it?

I feel like I keep seeing these points brought up, so I'd like to address them.

One We've hired a wedding planner whose literal job is to make sure this event runs smoothly and safely.

They are literally being paid to factor in any contingency to ensure the safest experience.

Two.

There will literally be staff wearing night vision goggles monitoring every table to ensure everyone's safety and so that if anyone needs help board guidance, they will provide it, be it for serving food to escorting other guests.

There were two hundred invites sent out and one hundred twenty one have RSVPD.

Yes, each table is set to seat six, so at this time we're paying for twenty extra hands to cover the tables for one hundred twenty one guests.

This isn't counting our table or the exits.

Three.

I've heard a lot of people imply that glow bracelets and glow necklaces won't be enough.

Having been to many nightclubs and raves in my teens and early twenties, I can promise you that one hundred twenty one wearing these is enough to see with and the staff will manage the rest.

Concerning tripping hazards and directions.

Four, a lot of you'r the jerks are making very valid points, and I'm discussing them with my fiance.

I'm also making a list of strong points to go over with my planner tomorrow.

But for those people whose only argument is that they wouldn't be comfortable not being able to see, that's literally the point you're not supposed to see.

If someone came in a giant furry Sully from Monsters, Inc.

Costume, I'd be thrilled when I ran into them.

The wedding isn't going to be focused on visually enjoying the experience.

It's about hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling it.

I know for a fact that enjoyment is independent on site.

Okay, cool concept sounds great on paper, but in reality, someone is going to get hurt.

Someone is going to fall or miss a step or run into someone else and they will fall.

Glow sticks are not enough.

You can't see people's feet with glow sticks.

What if someone chokes on food and no one can see them choking people aren't loud and their airway is blocked.

What about parents with kids, They will lose the kid in minutes.

What about people who have allergies They cannot see what they are eating.

I think there are better ways to honor your parents.

Maybe have a select time that the lights will go out, or a toast or something.

You're the jerk.

This is a bad idea At it the point is to be uncomfortable.

You are a jerk for that.

You can have a wedding that honors your mom and dad without making other people uncomfortable.

Really think about this.

It will be dark and there's a real chance of some sort of assault since no one will be able to see.

It would take one person to make it a nightmare for everyone.

Oh look, I just got grabbed.

Oh goodness.

Just think if one of the servers was a creep.

I have night glasses and everyone else is blind.

Heck, it would be so easy for someone to steal from the other guests.

It's pitch black.

Servers will not be able to know whose stuff belongs to who.

Someone could start grabbing purses and leave.

I'm not even going to mention people who have anxiety or fears of the dark, since I'm sure this would be a nightmare for them at it too.

I've really been thinking about this.

Think of the people who get surprised easily.

They will either flee, fight, or freeze.

If someone startles and they are a fighter, then you're going to have someone panic and boom, Now we have someone injured due to a punch or something.

Anyone that panics and is loud shots or whatnot, Yeah, that will be fun.

Or just think if there were an actual emergency.

People already panic during those but now you're adding that they are in the dark.

Hey, I need you to do something for me.

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