Hey y'all.

Hi.

Hi.

We are recording this from our living room.

Yeah.

We're holding microphones like peasants.

Yeah, while holding hands.

Usually we have peasants hold our microphones.

We're the bourgeoisie.

Yeah.

Um, but now we're holding them because we're in a different room.

Yeah.

Because we thought we'd be recording this waiting uh in our car yesterday.

Because we were unsurprisingly very behind on our podcast.

This time of year is hard to keep things up.

Yeah.

And um I'm super burnt out.

Yeah, and you would think that because I'm unemployed that we'd have plenty of time to make more podcasts, but it hasn't worked that way.

And so we were going to record today's podcast yesterday.

We had an outline.

It was a good outline.

We had an outline?

We did.

Oh.

What were we going to talk about?

We were going to talk about zombie fires.

Oh.

We're going to talk about we're going to give an anti-fascist tip of the week for casual dead.

Yeah.

We were also going to suggest to the people who make Daryl Dixon that they should invent a new type of zombie that's just made of fire.

What a dream.

Also, uh, we were going to talk about the Amphifa.

Oh, the the frogs.

Yeah, the Portland frog.

Yeah.

Well, the there's m the frogs are multiplying, as are the unicorns.

And as you showed me, Dan, from yesterday's protest, the No Kings protest, there were now giant penises and condoms running around town.

Well, that was one.

Um I'm not quite sure what their point was.

I don't know.

I mean, the frog makes more sense than a dick.

Unless they're indicating that somebody in charge is a dick.

And you know, we were also going to talk about how uh an inflatable frog costume makes a perfect protest gear because it obscures facial recognition and gate recognition.

Like there's actually nothing more perfect.

But I guess I just said that, so we don't have to talk about it anymore.

Yeah, there you go.

Yeah.

You know now.

We were also going to do a um author elevator pitch from Zelinda Morrison for their book Harsh Light.

Zelinda, if you're listening, this is going to happen.

The last two times we meant to air it, uh, terrible life things happened.

Yeah, funny how that works.

Yeah.

Um, sorry about that.

I know that you're fine, but uh everybody should still go check out Zelinda Morrison's book, Harsh Light.

There's a whole series.

Yeah, we'll we'll promote it in a later episode.

Yeah.

So if you want that elevator pitch, it'll be coming.

It's coming.

Uh, we were also gonna talk about my declining mental health.

Yeah.

This was before what happened yesterday happened.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How's your declining mental health, Dan?

It's not getting better.

You mean it hasn't improved in the last 24 hours?

It hasn't improved.

Um I mean, maybe in some cathartic ways, but uh yeah, it's kind of, you know, the uh combination of world events and increasing stress from my job and stupid things happening, you know, it's made it really difficult to write and be creative.

And I know people say like, oh, you gotta use that to fuel your writing, but it literally doesn't work like that for me.

I I've admire you if you can take the most horrible things in the world happening and turn that into art, but uh it kind of shuts my brain down with anger.

So I just kind of have to wait for that to pass.

Yeah.

Any day now.

Yeah, it makes your brain it makes the verbal centers of your brain shut down.

Yeah.

There's a whole science behind it, and I could go into it.

But we won't do that this time, because that's a long conversation.

Yeah.

Is being the soul breadwinner giving you extra stresses?

Oh, I I thought you were gonna ask if I'm like getting some like macho man feels, and which I don't.

Uh, but uh, I don't know.

I mean, I don't feel the stress yet because I think that things will work out.

Um, but it's not the best.

No.

Um, especially since like every single day I want to quit my job.

And every single day I still want you to quit your job.

And every time I apply for a job that pays really well, I'm like, they probably won't reach out to me because the job market is um fallaciously bad right now.

Yeah.

But I have a moment of fantasy where I'm like, Dan could quit his job.

Yeah.

You you texted me this week and you said, if I get a job that pays$1,000 a year, could you just quit your job?

Don't tell people our financial business.

Well, okay, I'll bleep that out then.

Okay.

Maybe.

Um and uh, you know, at the time I had asphalt leaking out of a giant hole in my truck that I told my boss about, but he ignored.

And I was backing up backwards through the pit to try to dump all this asphalt, and it was like making a trail of asphalt, kind of like if I was a cartoon character in Looney Tunes and I was carrying like a powder keg of gunpowder with a hole in it, and like somebody's gonna drop a match, and like little fire follows me and then it blows me up.

It's kind of like that.

And um, you know, so that's happening.

I get this text and I texted back, sure, can I start today?

And I said, I don't remember what she said, but did she then?

No.

No.

Oh, yeah.

Because I actually learned that that job um on LinkedIn, more than a thousand people just liked the post about it.

Yeah.

And um, every job that I know about that's had applications that I've gotten any kind of contact back around has been like, yeah, you're one of 500 candidates.

Cool.

Yeah, cool, cool, cool.

Well, maybe they'll just award the job based on a lottery system.

Like maybe they'll just pull a ping-pong ball with your number.

Maybe.

I feel like that's a more efficient way than like reading through everybody's resumes and doing interviews.

I mean, they have this thing called ATS, and I don't know what that stands for, but it's magical.

And you have to put magic words in your resume that match with the magic words they need.

And then maybe, but everybody knows that now, so it's not like I have an advantage by knowing that.

Yeah.

Anyways.

I mean, does everybody know it?

I don't know it.

I think some people don't know it.

I think people who are applying for jobs um like what I'm applying for probably know it.

Yeah, I think 50% know it.

That's interesting.

Yeah.

Let's do you know what ATS is out there in the universe?

I know one of you does because you reviewed my resume.

Thanks, Joe Salazar.

You know what a perk of being friends with authors is?

Is you have authors read your resume and give you feedback.

Joe, my resume would have not passed the ATS test without you.

So thank you.

The automated traction control system?

Something like that.

Yeah.

Probably it probably works very similarly.

Um, but yeah, so yesterday we were gonna record this podcast.

Yeah, I'm glad we did a little warm-up because now I might not cry.

Yeah.

Um and it started off uh, you know, we were gonna record this at home, and I was going to edit it like so many last-minute podcast episodes that we do, just because like the last several weeks have just been absolute nightmare uh inducing levels of busy and stress.

Every weekend is impact of the gills with events.

So it's like, we'll just record it on Saturday.

And then um Saturday came and Nero wasn't doing so well.

Yeah.

Um, we could give you a lot of details, but for the most part, he was up all night, which means that Leah and Leah was up all night.

I was up all night to an extent, not as much as Leah.

Um, I think I slept through a lot of it.

No, I was with him all night.

But Leah was Leah was with him all night.

Most people, I think, you know, if you're new to this podcast, if you just came because you've been listening to the Wicked Words crossover episodes, welcome.

Uh, this is not usually what our episodes are like.

And if you're like, who is Nero?

Are you talking about the Roman Emperor who burned down Rome?

Yes.

And played a flute?

No.

Oh.

We're talking about um our beloved pup puppa doo, which I I also just would like to feel the need to say that I know that the words are not stresses or puppadoo.

You're just getting my unfiltered weird uh Dan and my cultural lingo right now.

Um but anyways, Nero's a dog.

Nero was a dog.

Nero was Nero was a very good dog.

Yeah.

And he was in my life for 12 years.

He was 13 years old.

And if you've been listening for a while, you've heard him tippy tap in the background.

You've probably heard the episode that he interrupted 5,000 times by barking at us.

Yeah.

We had to record it over the span of two days because he was so angry about us talking into microphones.

Yeah, he was he was showing us signs of early onset dementia and unyeticated.

That's true.

It did go back that far.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So um he was having a rough time, and he was kind of like he kind of stopped being able to control his body for a while.

He was really wobbly.

He was walking on the tops of his feet.

Um, and we decided that we're gonna take him to the uh animal emergency room.

For context, he wasn't like that all night.

We just thought he had an upset tongue.

Yeah, he he definitely it definitely um spiraled.

Yeah, escalated at a certain point.

Does it go up or down?

Because spiral feels like going down a drain, but escalated sounds like going up.

The situation escalated, his condition spiraled.

Okay.

Yeah.

Uh so we went and, you know, at this point we don't really know what they're gonna tell us.

So we're like, let's pack up our laptops, our podcast recording equipment, because I have some mobile stuff that we can just take with us.

Um, and worst case scenario, we record this thing in the parking lot while Nero's in with the doctor getting CAT scans or blood work or whatever.

Um, because we've been to this place a few times before.

All for Nero.

All for Nero.

And uh, you know, we know that these things take a long time, so we might as well get this stuff done right in the parking lot slash the lobby.

Um, but what they discovered, and it was it was pretty clear, you know, he was having these little tremors in his head, which uh the doctor pointed out were seizures, and we had to make a decision uh about his existence and his quality of life.

I'm very grateful to the doctor whose name I don't remember for you know giving us the choice, but making it very clear.

We talked through all the options, all the things we could do, all the tests we could do, what would happen if he got positive results for different test items, and all of the all of the answers were this dog's quality of life is going to spiral really badly.

And if it's not today, it's gonna be very soon.

Yeah.

So And even the roadmap to even um get him on the medication would have meant that like for at least a week he would have been in this like seizury, floppy limbed, like can't stand hurting himself every time he moved, kind of scenario.

And then we would have to like probably drive to Massachusetts to um to see a neurologist.

And after all that, he's still a very old boy.

So it didn't really seem like that was any of those things were an option.

Well, even with the neurologist, she made that clear that they could basically diagnose the problem.

Yeah.

We could we could know the reason of his suffering.

Yeah, and we might be able to delay it a little bit longer.

Yeah.

Um having lost a horse in a very sudden way, um, it I'm not interested.

Like it was clear that he didn't need to keep suffering.

And um also there's uh the the Tom Ten Farm and Sanctuary, which I mentioned a lot on this podcast that before I was unemployed, we were donating to monthly, and I hope to again.

And uh they exclusively work with seniors, and one of the things that they really do is they monitor their wellness very carefully and they spare no expense in making sure that these creatures have the best possible life.

They say peace, possibility, and protection.

I've been there, I've seen it myself, it's really special.

Um, but when they know an animal is rapidly declining, they do their best to end that animal's life on a good day.

Yeah.

And um I didn't want Nero to have more bad days for a very small possibility that he might have one more good day.

Yeah, yeah, and I agree.

Um I didn't know we were gonna get into these weeds.

I didn't either, but I guess I guess it's you know, if we're talking about it, we're talking about it.

Yeah, I'm just worried I guess like, you know, I'm a little worried.

Some people will judge.

Like I've even seen on the Tom Ten Farm and Sanctuary page, like people get mad when they euthanize animals, and it's like, I don't think you've first of all grown up on a farm or like known what it like had to make those kinds of choices.

So just know that I would much rather Nero be here right now.

And the fact that I'm not crying is kind of incredible.

Yeah.

And I'm glad because I don't want to cry on this podcast.

And I didn't know we would tell you all of this.

The the original plan was just to be like, this is why we're not having a normal episode, but maybe we just need to talk about it.

And if you're listening to this, odds are oh, hi Simon, and there's the other dog, Janeway.

I'm gonna tell y'all a story.

So, as you all know, Simon, Dan's brother, lives with us, and he has a great dog named Janeway.

And Jane Way is young and beautiful, and she's the other black and tan, or now the only black and tan.

And when she got here, we had a big backyard and there's like a ditch in it because we live on a hill and that it redirects the water away from our house.

And she used to love to run and jump over the ditch, but we had to fence it off from her because Nero, as his let's see, got more dementia um over time, would would forget where he was and um always go to the wrong door to come inside or just get lost down there because it's quite a large yard.

It's hard to explain, but basically we had to split the yard into two.

So if we let him outside when we were downstairs, he would come back to the only one door because he didn't have a choice.

Yeah.

Um, so now Janeway gets the whole yard, and that's good.

And yes, it is Janeway from Star Trek if you don't know Janeway.

Yeah.

Well, I'm happy about that because Janeway Janeway would jump like a deer.

Yeah.

It was pretty amazing to watch.

Nero used to do that too.

Yeah.

Nero used to be incredibly athletic and uh smart, and then you know, we've really watched him decline for a long time.

And I we was I was looking at pictures of him, uh, it was becoming really, really clear that this was it was the right choice.

Like yeah, he was old.

But he had a good look last couple of few weeks, and I'm really, really grateful for that.

We went for walks in the woods.

Um he went for car rides, he got all of his treats all the time, he got lots of pets whenever he wanted them, but he wanted them less and less.

Yeah.

And uh and he had a really good last five years for sure.

He had a big backyard to play in.

You had to walk in the woods a lot.

Well, I told Dan today that I might want to do an episode of like our fantasy, like what would our fantasy zombie apocalypse world look like if Nero and Atlas were still here, and also my snake friend, California King Snake named Ikoro, or sneakers.

Um Because I don't know, though maybe that will be the way that I like mourn Nero and all the others that have gone before him.

But I don't really know what how much more to say.

There's clearly no zombies in this episode, although I will say I do have a sticker of Nero as a zombie with a arm in his mouth, and it's a little more disturbing than it was to me when I drew it.

I'm sure over time I will think it's cute again, but right now I'm like, oh, that's really sad.

I think it's super cute.

I guess I'll end with this.

It was really peaceful.

It was, yeah.

And that's why I'm okay.

I'm like not okay, but I'm also okay.

And we were all there when it ha when when we did it.

Um Zeke, our other dog, uh climbed onto the Gurney with Nero and laid on him.

Like like he does.

Yeah.

Um and he's doing well too.

I think it's you can see that he's you know, he's sad.

Yeah.

Um but I he understands he understands what happened, I think.

Yeah.

Our other amazing author friend, Alice B.

Sullivan, let me know as a somebody who is a vet tech that they know when they pass.

So shout out to you, Alice, for being incredibly helpful in this time and knowing science facts.

When I was like, these things are happening, and this is what's happening, and then you were like, This this thing, and I was like, I think so.

And then you were like, Yeah.

That's how that conversation went.

Ziggy just booped my leg.

Yeah, Ziggy says hi.

Ziggy says, Whoever you love, go give them a hug.

And um remember that life is finite, or at least this one is nothing lasts, everything is of the nature to die and get sick.

But if you're not right now, fuck and celebrate that shit.

Yeah.

Yeah, and that kind of brings me full circle back to like how I was feeling earlier this week with my, you know, my my declining mental health about world events and stuff.

And for a brief window of time, I had uh I was so sad about Nero that I couldn't be sad about anything else.

In a way that was kind of nice.

Um even though I was incredibly sad about Nero.

And now I'm still like we're we're still mourning Nero and still kind of in that place.

Yeah, I think that's maybe why we're talking about it so much.

I think having a microphone in front of my face makes me a little calmer.

Because before this, and I'm sure after this, there will be more sobbing.

My eyes are very swollen.

Dan shed some tears.

Yeah.

Ziggy also looks like he's kind of I don't know if dogs can cry, but been through it.

Definitely has some eye goopers.

Yeah.

But Nero was the best dog.

He was so special.

He was um a feral dog when I got him.

And um he had never experienced love or trust of the human being before except for the person who rescued him and fostered him until I took him in.

And he had special needs as a result of that.

And I feel really privil oh no, no, I'm gonna Okay.

I feel really privileged that I got to be that person for him because he was the most loving boy.

He was just scared sometimes.

Yeah.

And needed a little extra help to get around in the world and to be safe and to keep other people safe from him because he was he could be scary because he was scared.

Um, so that meant a lot of our life and a lot of the way that we lived our life was restricted.

Um, and so one of the weird things that we got to do today that I haven't done ever with Ziggy, is we took him for a walk in the middle of the day, and people went by, and it was okay.

Instead of taking them both for walks before the sun is out on a back road, hoping no one comes by.

Yeah.

So But I think I think that's it.

Yep.

Yeah.

We could talk forever about Nero.

And maybe we will.

Yeah.

Nero will absolutely be a part of us forever.

So Yeah.

He was a good boy.

Yeah.

And um next time you see somebody who seems a little angry, having a hard time, I'm not saying that you let them bite you, because you shouldn't.

But probably they're pretty they've they've gone through something pretty rough to be that way.

Yeah.

Also, maybe they're a zombie.

There's that too.

I just tied in zombies.

There we go.

We did it.

Anyways, I don't know why I'm sharing all these random I'm sharing my own life lessons from Nera.

And one of them was that the way he reacts sometimes or the way he reacted sometimes when he was scared was to be scary.

But what was wild about him was the minute he knew you were safe, which was basically giving him a dentistic, he loved you more than anybody on the planet and was incredibly wonderful.

And um, like no risk to anybody, really.

He just looked scary if you walk to our front door.

Yeah.

He whenever I see a scary person, I think maybe they're just Nero.

Yeah.

He um he he loved me instantly from the moment I met him.

Yeah.

And Dan was a scary man with a hat, and Dan or Nero didn't like men with hats, especially.

Yeah.

Nero didn't like men, didn't Nero didn't like people who wore hats.

Um, and I guess that changed.

He didn't like people who rode bikes.

That never changed.

No, but this are very upsetting.

This is a no-bike household here.

Bikes unacceptable.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There we go.

That's uh that's our update.

And um are we going to push back Zombie Wien?

Yes.

I need to tell the Zombie Wien people.

Um, so I'm sure many of you are wondering who the Zombie Wien people are.

I'm not gonna use this episode to tell you because they deserve their moment in the limelight.

Uh the the are we do we have a limelight, Dan?

Yeah, it's a light.

It is lime in color.

I think it's pink because we have a neon pink logo.

That's right.

Yeah, but when when we bring the limelight out, though.

Okay.

Well, anyways, they deserve to be celebrated for their amazing participation in our absolutely ridiculous game.

And uh we have exciting news about that, but it was gonna come out next weekend on October 26th.

I'm thinking it's gonna come out the following weekend, so that when Dan is editing it and when I'm working on the promotional materials, we're in a better place.

Yeah.

Take some time to grieve first.

And uh next weekend maybe something a little bit uh I don't know.

What I don't know what we're doing next weekend.

I don't either because it was supposed to be zombie ween, but we'll do something.

We'll do something.

We could talk about one of the many zombie things we've watched recently.

Yeah.

That we haven't talked about on the podcast because we've been interviewing authors.

Yeah, we can talk about Daryl Dixon's fire zombies.

We can talk about in the flesh.

Yeah.

All right.

Um it might sound crazy.

But the end uh kind of happened for one of our favorite creatures on the planet.

And so I'm just gonna say for now, bye bye.

Go hug somebody you love if you can.

And if not, go give yourself a hug.

I'm sure you deserve it.

Yeah, give yourself a hug.

Don't die.

At least for now.

Bye bye.

Bye.