Hello, and welcome to the podcast Who Remembers?

In this episode, we are asking who remembers school trips.

So this is a listener request from our man Edge.

And the reason we're doing this is because we're trying to win him back, because we did our Exodus episode, which were a couple of episodes ago now.

And um Skating review, isn't it?

Well he I I he messaged me saying listen to the new episode, thought it were pretty shit.

So this is one of his suggestions, so hopefully this wins him back into the whole members crew.

I don't know though, because obviously he's a bit younger than us, so his his school trip memories might not be the same as ours.

So we might get another scathing review.

Um any reviews, any any publicity is good publicity.

He's on it, he's on a rampage actually, as we're recording this.

You get this a couple of weeks ago, but yeah, he's he's firing some tweets off all over the place, isn't it?

It's gone viral, it's gone to his head, hasn't it?

It is, yeah, basically, yeah.

He's going after everyone now, yeah.

Yeah, so everyone.

I think he started with those with the Exodus thing, and he it got a bit cocky, and now he's like he's taking an all-comers on uh on Twitter.

But anyway, school trips.

So, what we're gonna do here, I think, is remember uh we're gonna try and pull up memories of like school trips and hopefully get inside your collective minds.

Because I think they're all pretty similar, aren't they?

Even though we'll have been to different places, they all sort of revolve around the same thing.

We went to different schools, but I would imagine that the memories are similar.

That's kind of what I'm hoping.

I mean, if not, doesn't really work.

Yeah, you've wasted your time.

Yeah, you nobody can remember a collective school trip, a hive mind school trip.

I don't this is I I will have missed some out, but I've written down some ones I went to.

The first one that sprang into my mind when we're in the uh and you definitely went to this, because everyone did, I think.

Uh certainly in the Yorkshire area.

I think I know what you're gonna say then, yeah.

Go on.

Go on, go on.

Do you want me to say it?

You say it.

So the the fur and obviously like I grew up at a younger age at at Gleela, so I'm assuming this this makes more sense.

It might be the same one you're you're thinking.

I'm doubting myself now, but anyway, I definitely when I was at Charnock went to at least once went to Healy City Farm.

No, I weren't gonna say that, but that is a good shout.

Um yeah, you used to be off to uh you get you got milk, didn't you?

It tastes like shit, I thought.

It was like quite a it's near where your nan lives, actually, innit?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There weren't much to it really, because it is was it in a city farm, I think it's called.

And like Yeah, that's right, yeah.

They've hardly got any animals, and it's like there's not a lot there, and they just give you a little walk around.

But yeah, I think we probably went there most weeks.

Probably not most weeks, but it felt like that.

The the one that I was actually gonna think what I was thinking of in terms of a day trip was uh York, the Viking Center.

Oh the regged centre, yeah, yeah.

Is that what it's called?

Yeah, the Viking Center, which absolutely stank.

Can you remember?

Why did it stink?

I don't know if it's I I don't know if that's like part of the the act or if it just stinks and they don't know how to make it not stink, because it's like done in sort of some dungeons in it.

Yeah, I just all remember.

Oh no, I'm mixing two things up there, York Dungeons and and the Reggie Centre.

Oh yeah, oh you're about your dungeons, yeah.

Reddit centre's something else, yeah.

The fact that we're gonna do it.

I'm mixing up three separate things there, I think, in one thing.

But yeah, the Viking Centre.

And this is the thing with all these Britley's that I I don't I mean, we should have really got Deb button for this because he obviously he is a teacher, but I don't I don't think we'd learn anything Nordic Viking Centre, that's it, the Nordic Viking Centre.

This what again, this is what I was gonna say though.

I don't think I've ever learned anything on a school trip ever.

That's a great shout.

Yeah, no, I I think I remember I'm jumping ahead a little bit, but it's still it's still primary school, but it's when I'd moved to Drumfield by then.

I think you did this later, you were telling me uh before, but I'm pretty sure I went to Eam in primary school.

Weekend in Eam.

I don't know how you could do a weekend in Eam, because the I seem to remember like we did about half an hour there and we felt like we'd done it.

But because to tell you about the like Limericks, not Limericks, uh the clothing guy opened his box of fabrics and it had fleas in it or something.

Oh, it's just all shit.

Is it is it like rocks and stones and stuff?

No, you're thinking of Castleton then, that's different.

Am I?

I'm getting mixed up.

So Eam is the Eam is a little town that that got the plague and they decided to shut themselves off from the rest of the world.

Oh, right.

And the thing that I found quite interesting at the time was that on the edge of the city they used to do like so people would bring food and they'd bring money and they'd do trades, but they used to leave the money in vinegar because it killed the germs, and there's like a a little sort of hole for the vinegar that they'd put the money in.

So you you did learn something then, so you're going against what I was doing.

Well, I do remember that.

That's something that but whether I was told that before I went, but I do remember thinking that's mad that they used to have uh like a big pot of vinegar, like imagine someone dipping his chips in it.

Like I'm sure we stayed for a weekend.

I'm sure we stayed because what I used to like about obviously you you'd go on the coach, obviously, and stuff, and you'd always have parents parents would go as helpers, wouldn't they?

Some parents, I don't know if that still happens now, but you're like, for instance, not my parents didn't, but you'd be like, Oh, Julie's mum's helping us out today, just for because obviously it's a lot must be difficult for a for a teacher to keep an eye on all these kids just running around.

Well, it's something I've got to come to more on the secondary trips, but I remember being supervised by kids who are just slightly older than you, and I'd no place really being in charge of kids slightly younger than them.

Well, you obviously have the stripes, they don't have the badges.

I think it's health and safety gone mad, but not in like an overkill way, in like a way of how can that be right that these people who they're only a couple of years older than you.

When I come to one later on, I'll I'll kind of discuss what I mean, but I'll come back to him enough to get away with it these days, is what I'm saying.

These days.

I think like another one I went to, I don't know if you um it Blackpool.

Did you ever go to Blackpool?

Because we went to Blackpool to study the trams.

Because obviously, which is mad because Sheffield had a tram thing going on at this point.

So I was like, I think this is a bit like Warner, where one of the teachers know is like a chip shop owner or something.

Yeah, so it needed well from them.

Well, funnily enough, we went.

This is I think we must have been 11 because it must it was primary school, and we had a trainee teacher with us.

Um, I would just like a trainee teacher because they were always like easy, weren't they?

Do you know what I mean?

Like to sort of piss about, couldn't you?

Especially if you're like a substitute teacher, whatever.

But this guy was a trainee teacher, and he were he were a proper lad, like lads, lad.

He got six got fucking cigs out back in front of us, don't say anything, lads.

I'm just gonna get like unbelievable guy.

And he likes we went round to all the all we did is went into like uh food shops and stuff like that.

We've got loads of fudges, like sorry, food shots, sweet shots and things like that, but loads of forge.

I think I was six, I had that much forge.

He went for a pint, like because of the they we went off into groups, he goes, like, right, yo, we've I can't remember his name, this guy.

We're only about 20.

And um, yeah, he goes, right, just stay out there, don't do anything.

I'm just gonna get a quick pint.

It'd be like when it fucking pulled for a pine, unbelievable.

Fair play.

Yeah, but we went there to like um look at trams and things like that.

But like I say, I don't really remember remember anything from they have like old-fashioned trams in Blackpool, then, because 'cause were this before the Steel City Super Tram?

It can't have been, so I'm sure they were like '94 in Sheffield, obviously.

Um, but I think it was 90 or something like that.

And it might have been then, yeah.

It might have been.

Maybe that's why we went.

Maybe because they were bringing it into Sheffield, they saypool.

Uh this is what you're in for.

Get yourself to Blackpool.

Yeah.

Beano'd like, you know, like OnlyFools and Oysters, like all kids running around town.

I just I just like like I say, I'd love to know what happened to him.

I wonder if he went into teaching and sort of I don't know, calmed down a little bit, or if he I don't know, he were genuinely.

When I look back now, he was about at the time I thought he was like the coolest man in the world.

Um, but when I look back, I just thought, what a mad thing to do leaving like 15 kids outside a pub where you go from why did he need a pint at that point?

Yeah, I mean, I wonder if that's somebody with a problem.

Like Scott Sigs out and he's gone for a pint within like an hour walk around the city.

But yeah, I mean, other ones I've got from primary school, and again, these these maybe, if you're listening, we're not expected to gone to the exact same places, but maybe they ring a bell in these type of trips.

So pretty sure we went to being being northerners.

I went to a coal mine once on a trip.

I don't remember that, to be honest.

No.

Well, they're all shut now, aren't they?

Since Maggie Thatcher open mines, so what's the point?

Yeah, I I think this was like a working museum at the time, but I I think from memory, we we walked round a lot of it and it was quite unexcited.

And the guy sort of said, right and I don't know whet whether you would have he would have given us the answer anyway.

But he said something like, Right, I'm gonna ask you a question.

If you get it right, you can carry on and see the rest of it.

If you don't get it right, we leave at this point and we go back up and it's fine.

And and I remember him asking a question and me answering it right, and everyone like looking at me like you knobbed.

Like, why would you do that?

Yeah, but whether he would have taken us round that way anyway or what, I don't know.

But yeah, I remember like people weren't happy that they had to see more of the stuff.

You couldn't keep it in, could you?

You couldn't keep that knowledge bursting out of your head, you couldn't keep it in for one second.

Did you ever go to um a Victorian school?

Yeah, well, I've got this down again.

Um I'm not sure if I missed this for some reason.

I don't I missed a couple of trips with grandparents dying.

But it seemed to be the thing that I don't have a memory of it, but I seem to remember seeing pictures of people in my class that had done it where they went to like a almost like a Victorian centre where there was a school and you had to sit at old-fashioned desks and they'd sort of say You had lessons there, yeah.

People used to get caned at this point in time.

I got caned, I got caned.

Um, obviously didn't actually get caned.

Um what so interesting this actually.

So you what if people don't know you get like you say, you're right, you went, I think you were at Victorian Centre and they had real classrooms, and you'd do a normal like day of class, but it were based on what were happening in Victorian times, if you get what I mean.

Like, and obviously the Queen Victoria, da da da da da.

So you'd be writing about that, and you had to write with like you know, like um quills, quill, yeah, and obviously, I don't like to mention it, uh, but I've mentioned it once or twice on here.

I've got dyspraxia.

Um, and I think I mentioned it before, but you don't agree with quills in the workplace.

But yeah, so I don't like bringing it up.

But this is why I don't like bringing it up because we're writing on uh with quills, um, and my handwriting's appalling anyway, and I couldn't do anything with it, I couldn't write.

And the teachers came up to me and said, Um, this is not good enough.

They were they were our normal primary school teacher playing a Victorian teacher, weirdly.

And she ripped it up, she goes, Right, cane, you're getting caned.

So they took me into this other room, and obviously I'm young, I'm thinking, shit, I'm gonna get caned here.

Like, I'm actually gonna get caned.

I think it'd be funny if they made an exception.

Like, this is the point where we normally pretend to cane you, but that is that bad.

We are actually gonna cane you.

It's the only way you're gonna learn, right?

I think this is I think you're gonna have to, like, yeah, just but you know what they did?

Do you know what they did as a uh so they take you into a different room and do you know what they do what they do?

Uh well I'm gonna make the same Michael Cain, Joe.

They said something like is a picture of Michael Kane.

No, so what they do is they like she's really serious, then she goes into room, she breaks out brilliant acting from my, you know what I mean, from the from the primary school teacher.

Might have been secondary school-ish actually, but brilliant like snaps out of it, eh?

Don't worry about which I'm obviously not really gonna cane you.

What I'm gonna do is hit this pillar and I want you to shout, ah, as if you've been it, and then when you go back out, tell them all that you've been it.

So I had to do that.

What then did they reveal the joke, or did they all think you had been cane?

No, they thought well, obviously, when I got back, or might be on the bus on the way back or whatever, I said uh I've not I weren't really cane.

I reckon you could have put a claim in if you stood by it and said they actually physically came me.

You all earned it, honestly, yeah.

You uh if we were to teach, yeah, that would have been amazing, that wouldn't it?

It's like you were evidence 2024 people here in this class or whatever it were back in the world.

These days camera phones would be out, it'd be all over social media, wouldn't it?

Yeah, and I mean, realistically, I don't know.

I don't know if that's a good thing to do anyway.

Then you are in dyspraxia by this point.

So I don't know.

It is a bit weird, even though it were all fake.

I don't know that if it like the punchline is the teachers got dyspraxia, they're cane themselves instead of you, like they end up shouting.

But what's realistically, though, like that is a that is a uh what do you want to call it, a mental disorder or whatever.

It's crazy that even though they're obviously they're playing a part, but they you want you would not get away with that now, I don't think.

If you said I don't know.

No, but I reckon you probably would have been caned for your dyspraxia in Victorian times.

I get that, but I don't know if you'd get away with pretending that's alright, if you get what I mean, or pretending that were normal.

Well, yeah, but I think they just did it based on like right, pick someone out whose handwrites, but I don't think they said, right, who's the disabled kid in here?

You are gonna get absolutely battered today, mate.

Who's a bit of one of you what?

Got a bit of a disability out of there.

Can you imagine that?

But yeah, that's it.

Do you think any of you in here today are gonna get a teacher's assistant or special glasses?

You're gonna get cane within an inch of your own.

You should do one.

I should uh open like a Victorian school, that would be amazing.

Um but yeah, I think as well, like they also had like a again.

I don't think I went to this, but I've seen pictures of it where and I've I've heard Ricky Gervais talk about it on the thing where there's like a shop and they say, Well, come and look at this kid's and it's like uh mannequin of somebody behind the shop saying, like, uh, you can have eight sausages for two and sixpence, and like somebody saying, like, back in these days everything was done to the quarter.

I'll have a quarter of bonbons, please.

I I think we had to dress in Victorian clothing as well.

Yeah, again, I think I've uh definitely one of my kids has done that.

I'm not sure if they both did.

What is it, Victorian clothing though?

I can't try to think now what that is.

Like I didn't wear it.

Did I wear a flat cap, mate?

I think I must have worn a flat cap.

Yeah, maybe maybe a waistcoat, like Southgate with flat cap on for the boys, and I think the girls had like a I don't know what you call it.

I'm not I'm not gonna Victorian class.

What do you call them?

Uh not a harness.

Is it a harness?

No, no.

No, no.

Um, but yeah, anyway, so Victorian school.

But another thing I used to like about this is uh is this an old school trips?

There were always another school going at the same time, especially in the Victorian classroom thing, because obviously they did double book two schools at the same time.

And uh you always just sit here if they're in King Eggberts or wherever it is, you know what I mean?

Like some rival school.

Like I don't know, there's like underlying sense of like I don't know, like some sort of gang warfare going on.

Yeah, we I mean these these weren't school trips, this was a regular thing, but we used to go swimming with uh like a local it's like a village school, but quite a fashion called Penny Acres, and yeah, I remember sort of sneering at them.

Yeah, you're at like rival schools, like that that because at that point I suppose it it's just like life in general.

Now you do it with football and stuff like that.

Like remember but just completely tangent this.

You remember when we worked at uh Sainsbury's and we got sent to a different store?

You know, it's not the story I'm gonna tell here.

Yeah, we had to go and work in city centre for uh a day because they were short, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and you there's a thing that you do called a bail, which is where you get rid of all the cardboard, basically.

And we were at this store, we didn't have much to do, and you said, Oh, I'll do a bail.

They all turned round and looked at you, didn't they?

Like, yeah, like a village, some like you know, like in a pub where everyone stops and looks at you.

Yeah, yeah, and obviously, even though like it what because in my head it was like country village, you wouldn't have said it in the this accent, but you said something like here, what on earth are you doing?

Mark does the bales round here, and like they all just sort of stopped and looked at us, and like we sort of had to slowly back away, didn't we?

Like, yeah, that's uh yeah, that were a bit like that.

You go into a different this is mad with human like psychology as a whole, there's obviously tangent here, but you go into somewhere different, and you all these people are just same the very same job, but working at a different store, and they're like completely different people.

Like he I'm sure he said he does the bales round here.

He did, yeah, he did, yeah.

He didn't say it in like a sort of old-fashioned villager.

He does the bales around here.

Yeah, I've got a terrible accent, but yeah.

Um, anyway, but it's all that thing about like I say a rival school coming up, and it was like, I don't know.

Obviously, nothing ever kicked off.

Well, it when I was there anyway.

No, well not, once the new you were a local hard man were involved, it'd be like absolutely, yeah.

I've mentioned before that what a ball there, and and I and I got caned, so you know what I mean.

I'm ready.

I've obviously got that aggression in me, and I'm ready to I don't know, get my own back.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Uh my my last one to mention from sort of primary school was I don't know if you ever did this, but in year six we got I think you were two nights away when we went to Scarborough.

Um What'd you learn now?

Well we we learned like some weird stuff there.

So I I remember this is like learning looking back how I used to think you're really grown up at the time because I I remember like we we've gone away and a couple of people had homesickness, homesicklessness, sick sickness, homesickness homesiclessness, sick lessness, yeah.

So happy to be away, like sick less.

But yeah, so what what age would you have been then?

So year six, it would have been like 10, 11, is that right?

Uh yeah, primary.

So my my daughter's nine comes up to ten, and obviously, like I I see her talk to her friend groups and they'd sort of think they're really grown up.

But I remember sat in year six on these outdoor benches with a couple of other guys that I knew.

Guys, yeah, the guys, you know, like you're 11 years old, you can't call them guys at all like that.

Yeah, me and the boys were sat outside.

Can you call that your name's the guys when you're 11?

I don't know, but we we sort of sort of thought we were it.

Like I remember the guys sitting down, and there's like a couple of I don't know, boy or girl or both, or like a couple of people had been really upset because they were missing home.

And I remember sort of seeing it.

Get a grip, man.

Yeah, but I remember us saying like almost like old school football punits, like, listen, fair play, they've turned up, they've given it a go, it's not worked out, and they're just trying to make the best out of it.

And everyone likes to say, Yeah, come on, you know, we've got to give them a pattern and bike for training.

It's it's it's good marks for effort.

Um the the other sort of takeaways from that are that I don't know if you ever did this at school, but this is where it kind of became big in my school or in the people that I knew anyway.

So there was a thing where it was supposed to be that if you if you pretended to be dead and people said the right words, that the spirits would help lift you, and they could lift you really high up really easy.

So this is the first time I ever came across this thing where you had to lay on the floor, cross your arms, across your chest, and people had to come round you like and someone had to say, I think he's dead, and then someone else say, He is dead, and they say, Oh, right, we're gonna have to move him on to the next life, or something like that.

And then everyone had sort of have to crouch round, like, I don't know if it's four of you, six of you, and then supposedly, like, just with your fingertips, you could kind of pick them up really high into the air.

Yeah.

And I remember it really freaking everyone out, like everyone sort of thinks.

I think that's true, right?

You don't I still don't understand this, you'll be able to tell me this.

There were a guy, and he was like he saw himself as a bit like the new Paul Daniels, and um he said, Right, put these two pencils together, and he tied an imaginary knot round them, really like over the and I genuinely couldn't pull them apart.

Explain that.

He did what?

So I put two pencils together.

Two pencils together.

Yeah, two pencils, you know what a pencil is?

Yeah.

Yeah, so I put two pencils together, and he said, put these pencils together, and he tied like a knot, but he didn't tie a knot round, it was like an imaginary knot round him.

And then he said, right, try and pull them apart with these pencils, and I couldn't.

I mean that I've sort of seen that sort of thing done with Darren Brown where you sort of can can make people believe they can't do it.

I would imagine that at primary school level that wasn't what he was doing.

Did he just place your two pencils for two that were actually stuck together?

Like, so just one long.

I swe well, that'd have been even more honestly.

I still to this day are going, but I can't I can't do it.

And you were like, ha ha ha, yeah, you see.

Don't know what happened to him, ginger kid he was.

So, you know, as a fellow ginger, I'm allowed to say this.

Um, you know, he's probably the best thing you could have probably done, weren't you?

Going into magic.

Darren Brown got ginger air.

Yeah, I think so.

Maybe Darren Brown.

Imagine me doing it though.

Imagine me doing me being a magician, it'd be terrible.

I shit fuck wank, like knocking everything all over place.

But these cards are ah shit, I've dropped them all.

Rabbit coming out of your heart, like there's not even supposed to be a rabbit in the axe, like just yeah, I'll put you, I will see.

Oh no.

Um I've got about um yeah, so so did they pick you up by the fingertips?

Yeah, so I I remember it it kind of working, but it didn't freak me out in a sense that I kind of believed there were spirits involved.

Uh people sort of trying to explain it, but uh to me it was kind of like you played along with it.

So the first time that you tried to pick up the kid, everyone sort of went, Oh no, they're really heavy.

And then the second time everyone kind of did a sort of mega lift together, and it did give them a bit of a sort of boost up.

And but I remember people being genuinely scared saying, Oh my god, they brought spirits into this place now, like that is it.

You've ever done a Ouija board.

No, but not because I wouldn't.

I just I just Well, I don't know if I'd mess about with that.

Ouija board, Ouija board, Ouija board.

I think I can be saying that a lot of them doing it as well.

I think that's probably why we've never done one because I think you would just be doing that all the time.

Ouija board, Ouija board.

Um, yeah, so I think once you get I mean, uh secondary school, I don't know, unless you've got any more primary school ones.

Well, no, sorry, so the last one, the last point I want to make from the same holiday as well.

I don't know if you've got any examples of this.

So you're seeing as a holiday rather than an educational trip.

Yeah, I think I mean we went to Sea Life Centre and I think we we sketched some rocks and stuff, but I that's odd.

Another one I went to actually was the uh oh go on Media Centre.

Is it Bradford?

Oh yeah, yeah.

Uh, I went to that and they were like a television or whatever it was.

Yeah, that's right.

And they were a roller coaster ride um where it was just you you were in your seat and you watched a video of roller coaster and it felt like you were on it.

And that at the time that were like, oh my god, what are they gonna come out with next?

You can watch a you know what I mean?

Like you're doing this, like virtual weren't even a virtual headset.

Things have changed, man.

Things have changed.

They've moved on, haven't they?

Yeah, but I remember this can I'm not even gonna name the person to be honest, because this is how like damaging I think it can be to your reputation.

But we once we went on a school walk from Scarborough to I think it's called Goatland, it's where they do heartbeat, it's around there, but quite a long walk.

Not really, do you see Nick Berry?

Um no, I don't know if not this time.

It's funny actually, because in my head, like he's sort of linked to wrongdoing, but he never was like somehow me and No, you've mentioned you've mentioned this so many times that Nick Berry has done.

I'm convinced because we sort of decided he might have been involved with the Gildando thing.

But somehow no, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, not me.

You you no no no, me and Phil Esposito, it was.

Um, you can't just drop a name like Phil Esposito in.

Go on, anyway.

Me and Phil Esposito kind of did this sort of joke thing that he could be involved with a Gildando thing, and it it's kind of uh it got repeated that many times that when I think of Nick Berry, I think, oh I think there's a dark cloud over him, but I don't think there ever was, was there?

I I really don't think he had anything to do with the Gildando thing.

No, no, no, unless Phil Esposito was.

To be fair, Phyllis Pazito does sound like some sort of crime lamb boss who would have like, yeah, maybe organise that.

Or did they hit?

No, yeah, yeah.

But anyway, a guy really needed toilet, um, and not not for a wee.

He uh he needed to do uh Yeah, we know there's only two options, yeah.

And it got really bad, and teachers had to kind of say, Well, you're gonna have to go behind these bushes.

So he went behind the bushes, he did no make it in time, and ended up trying to think of sort of nice way of saying it.

Um soiled himself.

That sounds more dirty, than I'm gonna say, like he he he crapped himself, but yeah, soiled himself.

Oh man, that ruined his school career, that didn't it?

To be fair, he he bounced back, but he yeah, for a long time.

I mean, I even know my mate's dad now.

Like, if if I sort of talk to him and I say, Oh, I saw him the other day, how's he getting on?

Yeah, yeah, I've not seen him for a few years actually.

Does he still call him?

How's he getting on Bobby Brown?

He still calls him poopants, and then he's surno him to this day.

Um and and the the worst thing about this is, and this is horribly graphic.

So probably skip forward 30 seconds, like if you don't hear this.

This is like a horrible childhood memory there.

So when he got back after his accident, we went back into dorm room and somebody said to him, Come on then, show us.

And and he he did, he sort of dropped his trousers and showed us the damage.

Oh, why?

Why would you do that?

I mean, in my mind, it's like one of these things where do you know when you see something so graphic that like I can't actually picture it, I can sort of picture like a grayed out, like a pixelated version of it, because my mind's blocked.

I get mentioned it all the time.

That scene off MASH where he thinks he's he's strangled a chicken or whatever, and he's actually strangled a baby, but you blank that out.

Why actually he's pulled his pants?

It's like John Simpsons, you know, when uh the the plant's burning down and he's seeing those clowns going.

Yeah, I can't.

I I know a kid who uh shot his own pants and he was literally just known for a bit as logger.

Alright, logger.

We might do something else on uh nicknames at some point.

Um I do episode him shitting you, but who remembers when people shit the biggest thing?

I don't think they'll all be specific to that, yeah.

But we might do sort of school schoolyard nicknames or something at some point.

Yeah, but yeah, that that's how sort of and like say he did all right, he was alright after it, but yeah he's done well to bounce back from that.

He kind of owned it.

I think that's what he had to do in that moment.

It you know, there's no point him sort of trying to pretend it didn't happen or that do like come on a bus, like uh you give a penalty away.

Sorry, lads, I made a mistake.

Yeah, I'm that's on me today, guys.

That's on me today.

Oh, what a that is oh, that is just that might be worse than anything that could possibly happen to you as a school kid, that maybe he did well to his kind of class.

Obviously, Linica still gets like messages, don't he?

Yeah, but you should have said that to him through Shat on whatever his name is.

As far as I don't know, he's he's sort of distanced himself from that.

And I I don't want to name him.

If you know who he is, well done.

You're you're in the you're in the club.

Uh I hope you if you do have the memory that I have, I hope you've kind of found a similar way of block blocking it out.

Right, anyway.

Yeah, we move on to secondary school trips now.

So I Eam was the one for me that I remember because I remember I think this was the only one that I went away for a weekend.

Uh and it was the first one where you I don't think anyone actually brought beers onto the coach, but I think it were one of those sort of things where I don't know, yeah.

Do a weekend in Eam.

I don't know if you're mixing that up the country.

Sorry, Ream.

Where's all the caves?

Yeah, Castleton.

I might have been Castleton.

What's Eam then?

Eames just a little bit.

We've been through this.

Yeah, we've done this, yeah.

Yeah, we've plague and shit.

Who remembers when we remembered Eam like about 20 minutes ago?

Yeah, we'd done that.

Um it might have been Castle.

Can you go to Castleton for a weekend?

I mean, we've definitely stayed away from the city.

I mean, there's more there, and there's like youth hostel and things nearby that make more sense that you might have stayed there.

And there's like there's a couple of caverns, um, there's a few like gift shops you can buy blue John and like in a room with our friend uh Matthew Stratford, who you know, and uh he pulled his jarmas on to get ready for for bed at night, and his elastic broke broke on his trousers, and he uh yeah, straight back down, straight back down, and exposed himself another another horrible memory from a school trip.

He was uh he would scrubbling around, but I'd seen everything.

I'd seen it all.

Um but yeah, so I remember that.

But yeah, this one with the first one where you're obviously at the age, I think we must have been about 14 or something like that.

And people, hey, I'm gonna bring some beer on.

No one actually did bring any beer on, but I think you're at that.

I don't know if anyone did it at your school, like trying to act a bit cool.

See, we I don't remember having a night away at secondary school.

And whether whether it happened and I didn't do it, I I think in year seven we've got to be.

Your missus will have been there, actually.

I should miss this after this.

Right now, I was like, but yeah, ask her, ask her.

I mean I'll point actually because people listening won't you know we're not doing it.

We won't add to the episode, will it?

Yeah, no, we're not doing a behind the scenes after, so yeah, waste of time.

I I my memory is that in year seven we went to France.

And it was a day trip.

Yeah, a day trip to France.

Yeah, I I know that sounds crazy, but I don't think we stayed over.

And this is where This is where your love of Paris uh started.

Yeah, Gem Paris.

Jean Paris, Gemma Paris.

I know more Spanish than uh sorry, it's more French than Spanish, even though I studied Spanish and not French.

Work that one out.

Ungon, rubber.

Unregler, ruler.

Er's loads loads I can do.

Umpicine, lapis what is it?

Lapiscine swimming pool.

Anyway, carrying on just carrying off, yeah.

Uh have you got any jambon?

Uh no, have you got any fromage?

Fromage free.

I don't know.

Jeez, yeah, but anyway, um this is one where I thought like imagine now sort of going to a capital city.

Did we go to Paris or did we go to Calais?

No we No, we did go to Paris, I think.

Anyway, w I I remember a group of about four of us being scored.

I don't know, did we make it that well?

I seem to remember going to Paris and wandering off into the city centre, and a couple of kids who are like two years older than us sort of being in charge.

So like just sort of meandering through a capital city with like a couple of I think I think there were two girls who were a little bit older than us, but like we weren't really listening to them, they didn't really care.

We just sort of walked around a bit through the city.

I I thought that's mad we were allowed to do that.

I always feel like like I say, there's a lot of supply teachers and things like that who end up on these trips, like uh school trips and stuff, and they're very like sort of well, sorry, look just down there, and then she'll turn around and go, that's the big sign there, don't you?

Don't even look, do it.

You know what I mean?

Like it's like that, so uh um but yeah, I think I never but I did get I didn't not me personally got the offer the chance to go to France, but we I didn't end I didn't go to France, so I don't know why.

Maybe I'd like to uh maybe I think it seems too much for a day, doesn't it?

But I don't remember staying over anywhere.

But I've gone through a thing.

Did you see the tower?

I think we saw uh Notre Dame, is it Notre Dame?

Notre Dame is the I think that's in Paris, which makes me think that is where we went.

But yeah, I I seem to remember it being a bit of a mad one.

Like you set off really early, you got on a ferry, you sort of rushed about a little bit, and then we came back.

And I remember it was really stormy on the way back on the boat, and everyone would be sick.

Everyone, well I've seen a family guy.

I think you're talking like 75% of people were being sick.

Why?

Because it was that rough.

Like we went into a gift shop and a wave hit the side of the boat, and a load of bottles fell off and smashed.

It were really bad.

But I weren't feeling it at all.

So I remember like proper sort of dickhead like time going to get myself like a fillet of fish burger just to sit and eat it like in front of everyone, because I didn't feel sick.

I remember thinking like this'll show them.

Like, so I just sat and ate my fish burger really sort of happily with myself.

Um yeah, so yeah, not not a great, not a great moment in my life.

Like I say, I think the only one that I went to is like a like I say, the EM one.

I always think as well in school trips um teachers become more normal out of school.

That can't have been a day trip, can it?

That can't have been.

Because it think how long it takes to drive to Calais, we can't have done that in a day.

But I don't I don't remember staying over.

I don't even know if it happened.

I don't know if you imagine the whole thing.

Brilliant.

You can't go to Paris back in a day, can you?

From Sheffield.

I don't know.

Why don't you ask you me for?

Well, I didn't stay anywhere.

I I don't know if that's real or not.

I don't know.

I might be losing.

This might be me having a breakdown live.

Yeah.

Um do you think teachers were more normal out of school?

Um you know, on day trips and things like that.

I think some tried to sort of be cool out of school, didn't they?

Yeah, hey.

No, there was this one guy who was really strict, he made you take your shoes off in his class, in fact.

Um, he really like proper, sort of right, everyone really serious teacher.

And I remember like on this, uh I think it I think we're eating, but it's probably Castle there.

Um, and he were like in, hey guys, come on, I'm gonna put the FA Cup final on.

It would really like just change personality, sort of overnight.

Do you know what I mean?

It was like it was like I don't know, we were just completely different.

They were like far more sort of leading everton one man United nil, by the way, was the uh I suppose they are real people, aren't they?

Like control the classroom, but they are real people.

They were like I say we know Deb Bad now, who's a teacher, and he is a real person, despite what so I work with people who he taught, and I don't think they see him as a real person, in the way that I don't see my old teachers as real people.

Yeah, once you've had that sort of authority figure role, it's quite hard to sort of separate that out again, isn't it?

But although these days I don't think kids respect anyone, do they?

Well, these days it's unbelievable.

Like they just you know, they've got no manners, have they?

The only other one I've got, which ironic and this is I think in year ten, and it was a geography trip, and this was to Castleton, but this was absolutely a day trip, and this was uh another one I'm sort of bringing in like dirty humour here, which I I don't like.

What's going on here?

It's a fucking like this is not my humour.

I hated this, I found this so so embarrassing.

Yeah, but we This is like you know when you go to a talk with an ex-footballer from eight, and then you'll know.

So we're all in shower, and we're all in shower and our shots on the floor.

No, I'm apologies for sort of the the toilet humour, but this is this is my lasting memory of it, and it I remember being as embarrassed as the older the two older girls who were sort of looking after us.

So we went to Castleton Castleton or Hathersage, Hathersidge.

We went to Hathersage, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we did a walk around, and we'd we'd done a walk to start with, but we finished in the town, and the teacher split us up into little groups, and they said, Right, go off, get yourselves a sandwich or a drink or whatever you want.

There's a there's a petrol station, there's a little sandwich shop, there's a cafe.

There were four of us, four lads, and we had two a couple of years older than us girls who were kind of you know, nice, sort of quiet girls, and they they sort of said, Look, let's do something nice, you're not gonna be here often.

So they took us to this really nice little coffee shop, and like a few pensioners in there and us, and we sat in this corner, and again, I'm not gonna name him, although this time I kind of rather would, because this felt more like a sort of deliberate action.

But in this horribly quiet little coffee shop that came to take our order, I wanted guys, and again, I hate this humour, apologies, but he farted so loud, it was absolutely appalling, and it just it just everyone like sort of in the whole place turned around like went, Oh god, and he sort of went bright red after he'd done it.

And the couple of guys that I was with were laughing their heads off.

The girls looked absolutely mortified, and we ended up having to put our coats on and leave, like it was that sort of a light because someone fired, but honestly, it was like she said, Oh, what can I get for you?

And it were like like an exhibition piece, honestly, it was like oh my god, like and yeah, I was devastated by it.

I that's that's I don't like that.

But the the two guys that were with us were crying with laughter.

I mean, I probably did end up sort of finding it on his own.

Not much fun, not much funnier than I thought when you're in your early teens, I don't think, to be honest.

Yeah, but it but it was just honestly like it were like everybody was just so embarrassed.

I just remember I think this was funny.

I'd like to see this back.

It's a shame there were no camera phones.

We all put our coats on and sort of trudged out, and it were like called us called Freddie Farpman or something.

I don't know what were he called.

Well, I don't know if done it to be funny or if he he it was just pure accidental.

I I I don't know.

I I don't remember it sort of being a thing that he had associated with him, to be honest.

I think we all just put it behind us and moved on.

It's absolutely crazy that there's a viz character called Johnny Farpans, and that is literally all he does, and he's been going for 40 years, and it's just him going around going, Alright, readers, hope we don't let off a big waff today.

And like saying it weren't like in a sort of you know, like a greasy spoon or whatever, it was in like a really nice formal little coffee shop, and it were like, Oh god, right, we'd like to be a little bit more.

In my eyes, this is like a scene off of comedy where it like closes in on like the old women, like with disgusted looking like looking at him.

Yeah, yeah.

Did you ever go to sorry, we went to Alton Towers.

I don't know if you ever went to Alton Towers.

I don't know why we were talking about it.

This is another one where uh I had a death in the family, so I think my granddaugh died.

Yeah, every time someone's like organises a trip, someone at 20 or there's either a dirty protest or a death, isn't it?

Or a death, yeah.

I don't know what's going on, but yeah, no, I missed our I don't remember.

I'm I remember my dad being like really apologetic for it because his dad died, and like that was the big thing in year nine bit selfish, though, isn't it?

Everybody went and it like it was sort of saying, I'm I'm so sorry.

And I was saying, no, honestly, it's fine.

He was saying I remember saying something like, Do you know the the brass eye sketch?

Like, this is literally the last thing you would have wanted.

This is the one thing we didn't want to one thing you didn't want to happen, you know.

You missed Alton Towers, but no, I mean I was fine about it, and actually, yeah, I seem to remember the drama being that there were a couple of twins in our class.

I mentioned them before previously.

Again, I'm not gonna name people on this one.

Um I think they went up the log flume and they got out at the top because they were scared it were gonna go down too fast, so they ended up like clinging to the railings like 100 foot up in the air and they had to be rescued.

I think that was the drama, but I weren't there for it, so I didn't I didn't see that.

I'm not re I you a you are a bit you you never were.

I remember you saying, I remember saying something like, Are you into roller coasters?

This was years and years ago when we were in the 20s, and you said, I don't need a roller coaster, I get enough excitement in my life.

This is a mad thing to say.

Uh but yeah, are you into right?

I do get like sort of huge adrenaline rushes though, just like if somebody sort of moves their trolley across mine and like they've blocked my right away, like that that to me is like around ride.

Like I'm I'm full of adrenaline straight away.

I'm I'm but now you've got kids.

Um do you are you more than I've done don't get me wrong, I've I've done rides, things that go round and round.

Completed them.

Yeah, I've completed it.

But no, I I used to do those things, but they did make me feel a bit sick.

But I think like when you were with your mates, you kind of felt you had to do them.

So uh my our mate Ross, um, well, we've mentioned a couple of times on here, in fact, but mostly every episode actually, he was absolutely desperate to go on a big wheel when we were at a music festival once.

Um, and he said, Come on, and I I'm really scared of heights, uh, it's my main fear.

And I was like, I'm not I'm not really keen on that.

I had a few drinks and everything, like, oh come on, come on.

So he likes and then as we were queuing up to go on, he was looking at look how scared he is, look how scared he is.

We got like halfway up to the top and he just shouted, I want to get off.

Like he absolutely shits himself.

He goes, It's too high, I want to get off, make it stop.

He absolutely liked bottled.

It's weird, though, innit?

Like different things because like Jody, she'll go on any ride or any roller coaster.

And again, when I were younger, used to do them, but certain things when we we went to America recently, and there's certain ones that I said, I'm not doing that.

Like I'd I'm not I'm not a teenager, don't you?

You won't catch me on that thing, yeah, yeah.

But like big wheels, she's terrified of because they just go slow and high and she doesn't like it, it's too high.

I'm I'm fine with them.

I find them a bit dull.

Yeah, I'm alright with that.

Yeah, I think I'm alright with that.

But yeah, I'm I'm not a ride person, but I think on that school trip, I would have gone on everything.

I think I've been on every ride at Alton Towers, but I kind of feel like I've done it now.

I don't I don't have a point to prove anymore.

I've yeah, I I don't see it as impressive now to say I'm gonna go on the biggest, scariest thing here.

Like I've had my time in the street.

You've had your time, yeah, you've proved yourself to into a bygone age, but that's really all I can think of in terms of school trips.

Like Seggy asked us to do this, and I think it definitely lends itself really well into what we're trying to do, which is sort of talk about rather than facts and dates and shit like that, which are people who listen.

I mean, we could do that, we can be experts.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We can we're good at that as well.

But we're trying to like sort of get this thing as well where we sort of you might have to be an knowledge of feeling, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But we just want to we want to we want you to listen and get that glow of I'm gonna take you back.

Um I'm trying to think of a song.

I think I'm going back to the things I love so much in my youth.

You know what that is?

No, dusty Springfield, and that's what we're after.

A bit of dusty magic into your um and in that's what we're trying to do with this podcast.

So hopefully you've enjoyed that.

Just before we finish, by the way.

Like, so so this is these aren't my memories.

So I'm maybe gonna try and grab more younger people by thinking about my kids on school trips.

Ah, that's come on, yeah.

So I I don't know if any of these affect you.

I just made a couple of notes just to finish on.

So a thing, particularly for them, I don't know if it's a girls' thing, what two daughters, I don't remember it being an issue when I were younger, but it's a huge sort of planning event for them of who sits with who and well, I really want to sit with this person, but then I promise this person I'll sit with them on the way back.

But I'm worried that this person might want to sit with me.

So, particularly for sort of friendship groups of an odd number, it seems to create a huge amount of stress in their in their lives.

I don't know if that triggers any memories with them.

No, no, no, no, not really.

It does remind me, we might might do this as an episode actually.

First day of secondary school is always a bit worrying, like because you don't know anybody in your life.

Yeah, that that might be an episode that we do.

I don't want to go too much into it.

It does remind me a little bit of that of like you're going in and you meet you up with your mate and say, I'm sitting next to you, is that right, first lesson?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.

But yeah, not really on a trip, I don't think.

Yeah, I don't remember that sort of being a huge thing.

But the other thing is now as well, and this this to me is not like a modern thing, but they do actually do like really good things now.

Do you know, like you sort of said, Oh, it felt very educational, like they now do a thing, particularly in year six, so they they give them like a three or four-night stay, but they go and do something really fun, like they got they went to London and did loads of tourist attractions, no sort of educational thing, which it I mean.

I suppose we just mentioned Alter Towers, which which wasn't educational, but I don't know, that just felt like a few hours out.

They seem to get like almost a holiday now.

Buffalo crack camera, like like you do with a football team and you say, have a couple of days away, come on, get some.

Take him away to Spain for a few days, get a bit of hard.

Get him in.

Where did Walnut used to take his team?

It was Scarborough, isn't it?

Yeah, take Scarborough and uh because he got like cheap chips or whatever.

He'd get like three meals all year if he brought like wives for three nights to buy fish and chips in this.

I wonder if that's what teachers do, like you said.

I wonder if that's what I've asked Device, is that what happens?

Like we're going to Gillingham.

What, what, why?

What there's nothing there.

Uh you've got this thing going on.

I can get three three uh three nights at a caravan around there.

But I don't know why you want to go to Gillingham actually, it's a terrible uh I don't know what Gillingham is, to be honest.

Kent.

Yeah, Kent.

Um yeah, I think I think that's kind of done.

Like, like I say, I've got a couple I'm not even gonna go through them actually because I don't think they're worth it.

I don't think they had any when you've been on a journey like this, there's no point finishing on these.

Absolutely.

So genuinely thanks for that, AG.

I hope you enjoyed that more um than the Exorcist one.

And we'll be back firing next.

I think we might have got a guest next week.

Um I know you don't like me uh saying what's happening before because in case I don't think there's any point because we either have or we haven't, and you saying that implies we have.

People might be going like, ooh, I wonder who that is.

So yeah, and they might think, Oh, I wonder what these guys have well, they've already got you know, and they've already had Tyrone, who's next in the peck.

You know, we've had Ben.

Christ knows who could be next.

Yeah, we might have a guess for the one after this.

Yes.

But we might not we might not.

We might not, and if it's just us two, it's just us two.

Send in your your uh ideas if you haven't got to your idea.

Yeah, if you want to give us an idea of an episode, if you want to come on and do one.

I mean, we're not we're not strict, but it has to be sort of enough to either sort of drive an episode or be the main part of an episode.

Yeah, you you need to know enough about the subjects.

Obviously, we're experts in most things, but if you we'll catch on quickly, but you've kind of got to leave it, that's the thing.

Yeah, absolutely.

So let us now thank you, Liam, and I'll see you next time.

Thank you very much.

Good evening.

Thank you for listening to Who Remembers.

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