And I invited you here.

I thought I made myself perfectly clear.

When you're a.

Guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty.

And I said, no, guests, your own presences presence enough.

I already had too much stuff, So how did you dare to surbey me?

Welcome to I said, no gifts.

I'm Britchard Wineger.

Oh what a week?

A lot of I mean, let's just talk about my personal life.

What are the highlights for me?

I got an ultrasound and I lost twenty dollars in a slot machine.

So those are the two peaks of the week for me.

And I imagine I can't bring up me getting an ultrasound without clarifying that turns out everything's fine.

My kidneys and bladder are working perfectly.

The doctor used the word perfectly.

So there must be something else wrong with me, But for right now, the target concern is not a concern.

So everybody relaxed about my kidneys.

That I mean, that sums up almost my you know, at least on a micro level.

My week.

The ultras I will say, the ultrasound.

If you've never gotten one, I've gotten one.

You've gotten we'll talk about I guess that.

Oh, we'll get to that.

Let's just bring in the well.

First of all, I'll just remind you get on the patreon.

We appreciate everybody coming to the patreon, and we're having the time of our lives.

I'm producing too much content for the patreon, to be honest, it's a bargain.

Get over there, Patreon, Colm Slash.

I said, no gifts.

Let's get into it with our guests.

I adore her.

Everyone adores her.

It's Kate Burland.

Oh my god, long time coming.

Goodness, see, I know, welcome to I said, no gifts.

We've got to talk about ultrasounds.

Vaginal Oh, vaginal vaginal ultrasounds by choice.

I have never been pregnant and starrying to catch up with me.

I want to brag.

I once had no ovarian sispers.

Okay, oh is that yeah?

And is it painful?

Like before you go to the doctor, like you're like, oh god, something's happening.

We'll go by the night, throw it from the pain.

I go, hello, next day going and they go yeah, they wand they go, yep, there you go.

I was like, okay, and that's kind of just fine.

Yeah, because it's over.

Yeah, how fascinating.

And then let's just say I had another one but ultrasound, but I've never had over the over over.

Yah, And it was like, I mean, they had kind of spaw music.

They had the weird AI video of art that every doctor's office now has.

It's just kind of like supposed to be a serene scene, but you know that it's nowhere you haven't.

I mean, it's not relaxing to look at because you know it's not.

It's like the computer's idea of Sorrento or whatever.

But they did have music playing and the jail they put on you is very warm, so if you can like ignore just the underlying dread and the unknown about what could be wrong with your body.

Yeah, it was kind of a nice exponent.

Although they had two different technicians do it, Like one did it for a while and then one took over.

I like that.

I don't understand what one could know.

You got, you got someone trying to figure it out learning on the job.

Wow, that's probably what was happening.

Someone was shadowing for the day.

Interesting, Yeah, because the second one did my bladder, yeah, and asked me if my bladder needed to be emptied.

It didn't, but then she insisted that I empty my bladder, so they had to go into the bathroom and pee while they all sat there in the dark.

Oh my god.

When I had my ultrasound, similarly, she was like, well, she's talked down to me.

She was like, you know, it's really important me to go to the bathroom you completely empty your bladder.

And I was like, well, I thought I had bitch.

And that really stuck with me, and I go, am, I am I cutting out too early?

How I mean, you would have to cut out so early for that to be noticeable.

But I guess, like, yeah, it's like what there's like I no, no.

I feel like most people, I'm not.

Save a little for later, that little treat.

Yeah.

I don't know, but it haunted me.

That's a really weird thing to say.

I know, I don't understand.

I can't imagine going into a especially in a doctor situation, and not just filling it up or you know, emptying it out.

I've had I have pea anxiety or like like I've had to have you know, when you give the sample the doctor, I'm hanging out by the water cooler me again, I mean, I take four five minutes.

I had one of those where I had to go get like the whole situation, my panel's done, and had just stupidly peed before and then just was kind of pacing in the bathroom for fifteen minutes and finally was able to produce enough pede that they were like, well, we'll take a look, and it was enough.

So you don't need as much peace.

You don't need to fill the cup.

And a lot of there's a lot of confusion about that.

You don't need to fill the cup.

You doesn't need to be overflowing.

It's almost just like, I think you have just.

A couple of little well not drops, but yeah, yeah, a squirt squirt.

So I learned that that was a good lesson to learn, I suppose.

But it's terrifying when you can do that and you think, well, now what I have to hang out at the hospital.

For no, no, and you think of them mocking you.

And yeah, they're all having a lot.

The other thing I did this week was gamble, which I haven't done in at least a decade.

And have you ever gambled?

It just doesn't take from me.

I don't I don't really like games.

I don't really I don't know I did.

And then this is a brag.

Where was I?

I was at some casino once and I truly, but what's the thing where it's the big roulette?

Yeah?

And I thought it was.

I was like forty five black or whatever, and it landed on it.

How much did you win?

One hundred and fifty bucks?

I thought that's it.

See for me, that would be the beginning of a grand that would be an electric shocked.

Well, I was kind of like one hundred and fifty dollars for free.

Yeah.

Are you ever tempted to say roulai rulay?

I sometimes I'll see that and just fred, But I think it's roulette.

I don't French never got in for me.

I don't know.

How did you take French in high school?

Fanish?

Spanish?

Yeah?

I took French?

What a waste of Yeah, only to be confused about gambling.

Yes, performance I'm not a big gambler either.

Jim likes to gamble, but I've demanded he not gamble since we basically began dating.

Yeah, and we were in Palm Springs and unfortunately we just had too much time, and he asked very nicely, and so I thought it through and set down some ground rools and said I will be in control of every time.

To a gamble hit a max.

Yes, And he said I'm only going to take out two hundred dollars and I'll give you twenty for slot machines.

And I was like, well, who cares.

It'll at least give me something to do.

But then I kind of learned that I don't really even know how to operate a slot machine, which feels like it should be pretty easy.

It was this crank, you're not using the crank, there's all the buttons.

You didn't even get the crank anymore.

I was tempted to, but then I was like, what if someone sees me try to use the car all of these pro gamblers around me.

So I was up by two dollars at one point, and then gambled it all away because well, I gambled nine dollars away because I again didn't know how to use a slot machine and gambled too much.

There was a woman having the time of her life.

She had a little dog in a purse, She had her own glass of wine she was pouring.

Yeah, doing it sober is bizarre.

Who's sober gambling?

Guess a lot of people.

Actually, no, I know, I was gonna say a lot of people, but who are really addicted?

All right, Yeah, they're just like smoking completely.

I mean you have to be very away because you're up all night.

Well, I gamble.

I guess I am addicted to gambling, because that's what.

Of course, the social media is, right, so you're fresh, and it's like you might get a cookie or you might not.

Yeah, it is exact, it's the same thing.

And then they keep you, they keep you enticed by every little feeder drop a couple likes.

Oh you got a message?

Make it never start.

I'm going to start smoking while I'm using Instagram.

No, just kind of.

I hate it so much and it's inescapable.

Hell, am on seven day cleanse right now?

Now?

Are you really?

Day's day two?

Wow?

What a time to be on a cleanse.

I've done it sometimes where I do like months, like I go thirty days, right then a sixty day.

How does that feel?

Immediate relief?

I was right on this kick probably in like the last week of February twenty twenty.

It's like I've finally done it.

I've kicked it off.

And then we went into lockdown and said, well, no.

It's over.

Yeah, I'll look at this for forty eight hours forever, ikare.

I haven't gone back out of it.

And it's the one thing I don't do is look at it immediately in the morning anymore.

It's incredible.

I have to have had breakfast and read something that's not on my phone.

Good for you, But how long you were seven day cleanse?

Why did you pick seven?

Just a week?

Just classic?

Are you online at all for the next week?

Eil?

And I'll let you know.

Sure, I'll go on a website, I guess, but I just.

There are only two of them less, there are not enough websites left.

It's so frustrating for me.

I don't have TikTok okay, I knew if I assigned up for that's so far.

I just should it's over.

So I'm elderly, so I just have Instagram.

It's really embarrassing to be addicted to Instagram.

Oh, it's so embarrassing.

It's not even it's like, you know, it's like Facebook, Yes, essentially like being on Facebook and engaging.

I deleted my Facebook way back when, and then I went back on because I wanted to do marketplace.

It's the marketplace.

It gets you every time.

And I had to do huge things.

I had been off for ten years maybe more, and it was such a thing to get back in.

I finally had to, like I got back into my account to see the people that are still it was it was really I was like, they're still here and it's the same figures, it's the same strange people and like my wall and it's like happy birthday for like the last ten years.

Oh no, we're just they go and I have to say, I was like seeing people go, this person's dead, this person's married, this person.

I mean, it was crazy.

That's like going into a haunted house.

I couldn't believe it.

Did you look at like your most recent message you or post from a friend, like what was the last thing somebody?

I didn't.

I saw some messages and it was all just very banal.

There was it just but.

It was a strange thing of like that, and I should leave Instagram tomorrow of course, never return.

And then you go back on ten years and you go, oh look, I instead I was living my life for ten years.

Because I go back.

I opened the Facebook room.

You guys are still in here.

Clanging against the walls, like.

This is my big problem because there are people on Facebook i'd like to, you know, spy on Yeah, they're like that's the sort of person.

I do want to see how they're like behaving on the internet.

And unfortunately I'm not on there anymore, and I know that they're just mutating there.

It's very strange on there.

It's like everyone's like it's like my fishing trip, like my daughter's engaged.

Which is kind of.

Out of touchness.

Yeah, there's I feel like there's probably less careerism on Facebook definitely.

Well, no, you're not on there to get work.

The only like unless you're trying to sell supplements or like you're, yeah, whatever's filling your garage at the moment that MLM type sales.

I didn't get back on.

I used my sister's account to get into the marketplace.

It's good.

I was talking to somebody about Marketplace recently and why it's like overtaking Craigslist and we couldn't come to any conclusion.

Is there I feel like I still will just go to Craigslist.

Craigslist.

I know I used to be really I used to be on there.

M h.

I haven't in a minute.

It's still the same website used.

To Miss Connections is gone though, so it's been gone for like probably fifteen years.

What a shame?

Why did they get rin away?

Maybe not fifteen years, but a long time.

Do something dangerous happened?

No, I'm sure, but I think it was just like they're like, this is not a sex website, you know, or something.

I'm sure it was that fascinating.

I posted a misconnection once.

Who's an explosive story.

I'm premiering it on the podcast.

I don't think I've ever talked about this on air, and I was here the right to repeat this on my podcast.

I posted a misconnection.

I want to say.

I mean, this is fifteen years ago and I still.

Have that being balked from the website or deleted.

And I was living in New York City at the time, and I used to constantly look at miss Connections.

For those of you who don't know, it was so sweet.

It'd be like I was on the sixth train uptown at nine point thirty.

You were reading this book.

We were looking at each other.

I would love to get coffee whatever, really cute stuff.

And I was in my permit I was living alone at the time, and I started to feel dizzy in a way that feared me.

NIL one dial immediately now one and then I'm talking and they're like hi.

I'm like, hi, I feel dizzy, and they're like, okay, you know, sit down, whatever is there anyone around?

No alone.

Immediately as I'm talking to her, I'm actually okay.

I start to rese and by I go, you know what, I'm okay.

She goes, We've already dispatched paramedics and I don't have to.

And then the speed at which I still understand how they get in.

They have like a universal key, Like how.

Do they get into the building.

I'm not kidding.

It felt like moments later I hear I opened my door.

Up the stairwell comes three cakes and I was like, and I go, sorry, sorry, I think I'm actually okay.

They come in and I was just like, I mean, I feel weird, but you know who doesn't, you know?

We all feel weird, right, I start, and they're like, so you keep saying you feel weird, We're gonna have to take you in.

I was like no, please, please, no, And I was like, I want to do the ambulance right but seven hundred bucks whatever.

Of course it's very expensive.

So I was like, no, please, just like I'm okay, really, I'm okay.

So they sit with me for a second.

I remember I had a stack of posters of like postcards for my comedy show at the time.

I go, you guys like comedy, come on down, you know so, And of course one of the paramedics was cute.

Okay, okay, and I'm sure there was.

No connection, and then so they leave.

I posted a misconnection for the paramedic any response, of course not, I don't think.

I think the energy was in one direction.

And then but you probably felt it because the paramedic is supposed to care.

Of course, they're supposed to give this feeling of safety, and you're going to be okay, yeah, who can resist that?

And I'll never forget because I you know, felt woozy afterwards.

I remember I walked a few blocks to a restaurant, got a veggie burger, felt all better.

I was hungry.

You were your blood.

That's why you were so cranky with the paramedic.

Exactly, I'm onry.

What what's a paramedics uniform?

I'm trying to picture that.

It's not like scrubs.

Is it a jumpsuit?

Was it a fireman?

Yeah, it's just like pants.

I don't know.

Oh yeah, maybe it's like a dark pant and a T shirt.

Right right, that's a good look for I mean that's just a good street wear.

Yeah, absolutely, Wow, and no response.

I wonder where he is now?

Is an ambulance?

Right?

Seven hundred dollars?

Is that what we think?

I don't know.

It fluctuates with inflation.

I think at the time the number seven hundred was burned to.

Me right on at least would you look into that because I actually, I mean present day, how much is that novelty?

Seven hundred dollars?

I mean unless to find out seven hundred dollars, I could get the community to reach out and like pitching for.

Me to ride in an right now in New York City, it's nine hundred.

Dollars one hundred.

I mean, that's not that much inflation wise.

That's estate that's been pretty steady.

You know.

You look at a price of eggs, that's.

So crazy, throwing carton of eggs and we're talking, Wow.

That's wild.

Yeah, I did you did you ever see anything that felt like it might be a misconnection pointing to you.

No, no, next question.

I don't think so.

I feel like that.

That's got to happen pretty often though.

People are like, well, this could be me, and then they're reaching out to the person.

And bothering that it's not me.

Yeah it wasn't you.

Have you ever been in an ambulance?

No?

No, no, I never question.

Yeah, where's what?

My god?

This is all?

Okay, does this take what?

Yeah?

That's what.

That's what.

That's what.

That's what knocked on it, particleboard, that's what.

Okay, then we're fine.

We're absolutely fine.

Are you superstitious like that?

Are you really?

I am?

That's the one thing I do.

I knock wood and spilled salt.

I'll go, I'll do that, you will.

What are you supposed to do that for?

Uh?

Just like being cursed.

I guess somebody curses you when you throw.

Oh, if you spill salt, then you have to throw it over your left is either left or right shoulder?

I do both because I never checked.

I didn't know this.

Ye.

Actually it's weird you bring it up because today a little salt like I lost control of the shaker a little bit.

Someone on my hand I go, does that count?

And I just kind of yeah, wow, I don't know that I've ever spilt salt.

Salt is a thing you're like, you're supposed to constantly.

Yes, the point of the entire shaker interesting.

Well, I'm not going to start now.

I'll just keep knocking on wood.

And yeah, you're fine at this point.

Whatever.

What else has been going on in your life?

Oh?

What's going on?

Well?

I saw a ghost?

You saw a ghost kind of where?

Well, here's what I'll tell you.

I had a ghost.

I was staying in Bend, Oregon.

Okay, spooky.

Apparently, but I was there for two nights.

I had a show and I went to this place.

I was like, I'm not a ghost person.

I'm not that people know what is until they've seen and I'm very like.

I don't want to see them.

But I went in, went to this room.

The point is fell asleep, mill of the night, eyes open, like, oh no, I woke myself up.

Listen what I'm gonna try to say.

It was weird, creepy stuff.

I'd never get nightmares, rolling nightmares, lights going on, really fucking weird stuff.

And I was scared, like waking up, which is I travel alone constantly.

I'm not like afraid.

In the night, I was awake, like arms crossed, like like really freaking out mood rooms okay, next day scared, I'm sorry to say this word and the energy scared like I was like, I'm scared in this room, like this is off.

I'm gonna just cut forward and say found out today found Google reviews people saying this place is haunted.

When you spoke to the hotel staff, did you say I think my room is haunted or did you just say the So I was.

Too scared to say it there because I had another night left right and I changed my flight to like seven am.

I wanted to get out of there.

I was like, I don't want to go the whole place.

I was like, this is like a bad place.

I don't like the energy.

Again, the hotel was well run.

Everyone was sweet, but so I eventually, then when I got back, I called the hotel and I was like, this is really funny, but has anyone ever talked about like being haunted?

And the guy I spoke to was like sweet, young guy.

He's like, I've actually only been here three months, so I was like, oh, But then he talked to him and he goes, well, when I got my first tour, they did tell me like, oh, this is an area of the hotel where people kind of war report stuff.

I was like, what so yeah, And then since then I've seen a Google review that said do not stay here haunted.

Okay, and then another person who said my partner woke up in the middle of the night screaming help and then walked to like a window and was.

Like, is there any theory about where the like the spirit came from, like a murdered woman or.

I of course did auditions.

I saw a couple and I'm not going to get into it here.

It's something that I'm working on privately.

But I'm not a ghost person.

And I said, don't I don't want to see you ooh, And I said that lag, I know I'm not open.

See this is where I you and I differ.

Yeah, I would, I mean, I feel you want to.

I would be so thrilled.

It would be some proof of suf thing to me.

It's just I don't know.

I feel scared to see the conjuring thoughts.

Do I want to see the conjuring post this?

Because I have have you seen any of The Conjuring.

How many other like five of them at least six really Lily Taylor.

Patrick Wilson and Vera.

Oh she's very ghosts.

Yeah, they're very you know what I want to see, thank you.

I want to rewatch The Others starring Nicole Kidman.

I love The Others.

That's one of the all time ghosts movies.

Yeah, it's like I don't really a horror movie.

Yeah, in theater theaters in New York.

I want to say that was a big one where they you know, like the ad campaign spoiled the whole thing.

They were like and the twist endings just like, just let me find out that something turns.

Those were the olden days when trailers were four minutes long and they just showed you the whole movie.

Yeah, I appreciate it.

No, I love the Others.

I love the Haunting of hill House or it's just the haunting.

Have you ever seen that?

The night?

I think it's like a I think sixteen to three.

It is terrifying.

That's scary, It's genuine.

Yeah, it's really just like scared me.

Of course, I think that probably stood in with ghost stuff and I'm when a child actor is good in a movie.

I feel especially scared because I feel like that's a you feel the vulnerability or something that.

They're too close to the spirit world already.

Yes, the child act already like of the another world, and they're like child actors to me?

Are they prove that reincarnation is real?

And like that's some like fifty five year old actor who's now twelve, and it's like, here's my big shot.

That is the dancing of yeah, Shirley.

Temple like or just any of these kids, any of these kids on and if you if you work in sorry to say it, Hollywook, you know, every now and then you see one of these kid actors.

Yeah, oh thanks man, Yeah, I'm good.

It's like you aren't twelve, you're fifty two.

When you feel the trained networking, like the parents like hammering that into the kid, that's the world.

Jacqueline Novac, this is her idea, so I can't steal it, but she said children should not be allowed in movies.

Adults should play children.

That's a great idea, and I've hurt somebody else that I unfortunately can't credit them.

They said, that's the one use of AI that makes.

Sense, right, right, right, get the kids up.

All children in movies should be AI.

Why not you're taking your kids to moviesit what strong?

What are you doing?

It's so crazy.

It's like we've just seen case after case after case.

It's like you think you're gonna be one that your child escapes.

How horrible it is?

Only I was Mary Kate Ashley Olson.

They are, they are the exception.

But they went on, they went through it, and now they have the row and they've done an incredible job.

And they have and they've they snuck out of the public eye.

They have secret in private lives.

Everyone else dead or near death.

Yeah, pretty much hanging by a thread.

It's such a small pool where it's like, oh, now they're just an adult and they can live there, and they have to.

I feel like their child acting career really has to fizzle out pretty quickly in order for them to be like, yeah, then they like end up in a real middle school or what have you, rather than learning in some unit on set.

From hearing Kulkan another success story.

Oh, he's a fantastic success story.

It's really rare, and I'm sure he went through it.

Sure well.

Actually he kind of just had a lot of tasteful choices the entire.

Time well managed.

Well, that's a family that knows they had a they had another child that went through it.

They probably said, let's strategize on this one.

Yeah, let's take our So instead he wins the race.

He came out on top.

He absolutely came out on top.

Well, I feel like there's something else we should talk about.

Let's see, it's something I don't want to talk about.

I was excited to have you here on.

The podcast today, Kate, Yeah, until I.

Thought cable come by.

We'll have an absolutely fantastic conversation.

Nothing will go wrong, Yeah, and then we'll move on with our days.

Yes, things are hard enough already.

Yeah, so you know the podcast is called I said no gifts, and so I was a little surprised when you kind of forced your way in here holding what I assume is I haven't seen you in a while.

That's true.

So I felt like it was only appropriate after so much time.

Right, it's right, Okay, Well that's that's a nice way of going this.

Yeah, and it's not too big, and it's in kind of a velvety looking bag.

How can I resist?

Should I open it?

Here?

On the podcast?

I mean, why not, why not let me just a little something, just a little something.

Oh, this is a material that is hard for me.

Yeah, what is cheap?

It's a cheap material.

It's poor man's velvet.

Yeah, it's a I would have an emergency.

What do you is that velveteen?

Is that it's below velveteen?

Is velveteen?

Cheaper velvet?

I think it goes velvet velveteen?

And then whatever that is?

Okay, well I'm going to open it here.

Well that sounds nice.

Okay, we're pulling it.

Oh my god, what I mean?

I'm actually not entirely sure if this is real fish or like a gag tin fish.

Another element of this which is kind of crazy.

Doesn't it look like one's missing?

It hasn't been opened?

Yeah, looks so no, no, no, here's what So I get this.

I go wait, and I said to my partner, I go, did you take a chocolate?

They go no?

And then I know it's completely sealed.

It's never been opened.

So this is just poorly or I think something happened.

This is limited a ghostly removal of a sardine.

I don't want to get off this topic too.

I want to come back to this, but this reminds me of a time you were in Ireland in a hotel.

I.

Oh, you're right, yeah, I've had a couple encounters happened.

Then can we do you mind talking about that?

Because I want to remember No, I want to remember this and these This is the golden age of Twitter where it was you Mega name and Rob Delane and you three were smoking cigars and everyone was please retweet?

Can I please get a follow?

Friday?

You guys were the I remember I was working.

I was an assistant.

I was working for this woman.

I was her assistant.

I was mad at my job.

I had to do like I was like talking to her account.

I was like, oh, I had to do like Xcel like quick books.

No, no, no no, and I would get and then she stared I didn't know what I was doing with like the tax stuff.

I was like, and then the account it was like, what's you like?

They uncovered that I had no idea what.

I was just entirely on them, but I completely but at that job, I would be like on Twitter.

And I remember once Rob Delaney retweeted me and I was at work and I was like, it was like it was all about Yeah, I was like, here we go.

I was in duble Lynn doing a comedy festival, okay, and oh my god, what was it?

Okay?

So it was that I left my room to like go do something, and I came back and there was a pair of red.

Underwear, oh men or women's underwear was.

Women's okay, either on the bed somewhere where I was like, what the fuck is like it was like I had been there for and I remember it was a thing because if I'm saying in a hotel for a few days, I don't get like the room turned over.

It's like kind of rare that I will do that unless I'm saying somewhere really high end and I want to, you know, I have to give all the whole experience.

But if it's just kind of a hotel, I'm like, I don't need my bed, she's changed your towels.

I'm here for two nights, three nights whatever.

So I knew no one had been in there, but there was this really ostentatious pair of red underwear, maybe hanging on the back of the door something where I was like, and it scared me because I was like, someone was in here.

It feels like such an invent.

I feel like there was another detail that I'm forgetting because this was ten years ago.

Everything I'm saying is ten Sorry.

To ask you to just recall this, but like, no, for whatever reason, a missing fish made me think of something, and I.

Called the front desk.

I think, I I you know what, I bet where this is saved somewhere.

I believe I was chronicling it on Instagram Stories when stories had just launched.

Oh my god, and I mean speaking of people reigning supreme your early days of Instagram Stories for unlike anything, they should have shut it down after that, you know.

So I was like, I gotta get back to story.

I gotta go.

I gotta start having fun with Instagram again, getting back into those stories.

Wow.

Well, I'm sorry to bring up the memory, but I yeah, that just there was this flash in my mind of a haunted Irish hotel room.

You know, I've had some strange things that happened.

It's weird to walk into a whole hotel room and something's changed like that you've already been in, because it feels like, oh, I've almost walked into another dimension.

This is the same space, but just slightly altered.

A real like, yeah, one of those picture things.

Which thing is different?

Do you think this is weird?

Really quick?

At the recent haunting that I had the hotel, I switched rooms right.

I went into the second room and it was in a different building, different part of the building.

I go, okay, I'm safe.

This is different, same room, but like inverted, you know, like I was in there and I had spent like hours resting.

I'll call it in bed and I leave, I come back.

No one's been in there.

The digital clock next to the bed was blinking three forty four.

It was like ten o'clock at night blinking three forty four am, blinking, blinking, And I go, I would have seen that if the clock had been doing that, is that scary.

Power go out or something that is?

That's just not a thing that you know, after already having a haunting experience.

At three am, that's when I woke up.

It's like a cartoon.

I was going to say, if that's when you.

Woke up right before three am, I was like, woke up the whole thing.

The light's going off.

I go, no, no, no, no, no no no, it was three am, just before three am.

There's something you should get in touch with these other people who feel like they've been haunted.

Well, I actually went to the Google review today and I try and I want to reach out to him and go what happened?

Right, you should start putting the pieces together.

He might have another details.

I could have a whole set of podcast here.

I can have ah, this is a mini series.

This is a limited series for podcasts.

I just woke up screaming because I had a Charlie horse.

You had that and were of course there's no I mean, I'm.

Sure, Oh it's terrible.

Was your foot doing the thing where it's.

Like, yeah, of course and there's no undoing it?

Read just scream screaming.

It's so crazy, horrible for you.

Anyway, let's get back to these fish.

I'm very curious about this entire situation.

Well, wanting it back and silly Okay.

Price tag by the way, thirty two dollars.

Thirty two dollars.

That's pretty fucking expensive.

That's a that's that's in the top ten of this podcast.

Probably thirty two dollars.

That's eight dollars of fish.

It's crazy.

Okay, So this is a really cute item, right, It really does look like one's missing.

I think just they got shooken up.

Okay, seems like five is a better number.

I got this in an artisanal gift shop.

I want to say the last Christmas?

Okay?

And I was going to give this to what's the date?

Quick?

Today is October?

Nope?

Wrong fully wrong on September nineteenth, Nomber September eight.

Best if used by September fifteenth, twenty twenty five.

So we're still well.

Within That is a lie.

Ye, No, of course, expiration's a lie.

I cracked eggs.

Want any go best of?

I go best of your mother, bitch, I'm meeting you for another month.

Do you know how you can tell if an egg is good?

If it floats, put it in the water.

If it floats, it's.

If it floats, it's bad.

If it stands up, it's on the edge, And if it sinks completely it's good.

Also, I think with eggs, crack it open.

If it smells crazy, I don't use it.

That's really the ultimate test of anything.

If it smells like rotten garbage.

Don't put it in your mouth.

Okay.

So I'm gonna take again thirty two dollars.

Okay.

So I got this in an artisanal shop.

Okay, I got two of them, and I go, you know what this is.

I saw this and I go, this is a perfect little come over to someone's house for dinner the holidays.

It's got those shiny red packagers.

I just thought this was cute.

I think, actually, you know what I was gonna do, and this is really sad.

I was gonna send this to Amy Sidaris and I never did this.

It feels right of her aunt.

So this is like an Amy Sidaris like.

I was like, I'm gonna send this to Amy.

It didn't happen, So sorry, Amy.

And this is in line with a broader theme in my life, which is gifts that I purchased to give someone sure never give them.

So right now, I want to say, for maybe a year, if there's been a little child size parasol propped up next to my front door, I was going to give that to my friend's daughter for her birthday.

The birthday passed.

Now the other birthday just happened.

I go, I'm finally going to give her the parasol.

Still have it.

I bought baby, I bought purchase baby clothes for babies.

The baby's on five.

I can't no I got.

It's a couple of things.

I need a full time assistance.

I mean, how do how are people.

Saying, I really I forget.

Anything that's not like always in my bag will be forgotten.

Yeah.

Anytime I go to the dentist, they say make sure to bring your mouth guard.

It's not coming with me.

They're not cleaning that.

So it's all up to me.

So I understand this feeling of like because it's not entirely essential.

A friend asked me to buy them sunscreen on vacation I was Japan.

She's like an SPF, there's really good.

This was five six months ago.

I did the same thing Aqua.

Yes, it's good SPF.

See, I know my shit.

I bought Bora Aqua for a friend and never gave it to her.

Wow, I when to Japan, and as you do give her friends give your friends, they're never getting them.

Because they're mostly in essential items.

It's a sweet thing because you're like, oh, the key chain.

I'll buy this from my friend.

It's a sweet thing, but you got to go the extra home give it to them.

That's where I circuit complete, Like this was so sweet, and I have this I have this dream of myself.

Dear Amy, Merry Christmas.

Love you now?

Would you have had to taken it with you to New York to give to her or mail to her?

I was going to mail it.

See that's him.

That's never happened.

There's no chance that's happening unless there's like some business agreement where they can like write you a bad view.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're not going to the post office to send those.

I have a post office I love, and so I have almost a superstitious attachment to them.

Like that's where I go.

Okay, I feel like any other male, I can't do it right.

And so I could have gone there, but I didn't.

And so this ended up.

In my home and I've been looking at it and I went, okay, oh I can dinner party.

No.

No.

And so I was looking at what to bring you today.

I wanted to bring you something, and I looked, you know, there were some options.

There was some skincare sure, and I thought, and I go, no, this and this is the promise of a person that I I hope to be, and I think I could still become that person.

This feels like a nice two dollars thirty two dollars my.

God, price point, I mean, what is that?

I call it fifty truly thirty two dollars?

Round up, it's called it forty.

It's already the price is already out of control.

That not being nine dollars, what would you guess nine dollars?

I would have guessed this was fourteen, because you know it's got the little it's true sweet, ha's sweet tech.

Yeah, and who God knows what the quality of chocolate is, but maybe a tie.

It probably is decent.

Where's the chocolate from?

Let's see here?

This is truely space is.

German?

I'm not seeing Let's see, oh, France.

It's probably a.

Good cho chocolate.

And the quality of the sardines is all the details detail, it's gorgeous.

I'll have to post some sort of picture of that.

But this is like a real They're shiny, like a sargine.

They're beautiful.

You wonder where that I guess chocolate's shiny.

So that works.

And now I'm like, should we open these or should this be?

Should we try one?

Oh?

And do you know what I'm noticing?

There are five in here?

So yeah, one just got dislodged.

Yeah, so I've this whole time.

I thought it was just but they're just packed in in a way that like, do you think we should open them?

I'm completely torn.

What do you want to do?

I think we should open them.

I feel like we should.

Chocolate girl like me.

I think they're factory sealed.

Factory sealed with a piece of Scotch day.

Okay, oh my god, Okay, look at that.

Okay, we'll put them back in place.

Oh, here's one got loose.

And do you know what I'm noticing already is that it's even more it's the tin is the I thought they were painted like fish, but detail, how sweet that is?

Yeah, that's good solid chocolate.

That's no, that's good French chocolate.

Hmmm, you know there is first I go see after taste, you go, it's French.

There's no other chalkiness.

This is not a CVS Easter Bunny.

The worst a Russell Stover's the absolute bottom of the barrel.

You know.

I mean a lot of you United States chocolate and now was not chocolate.

They have to call it chocolate.

Echo you read about that.

Ye, no, I guess there's some international standard.

And because they're just feeling it with blavor and it's wax or.

What have you.

Well, isn't that what we That's what those countries become.

It's chocolate.

It used to be chocolate, I know, used to be pure chocolate and.

Now chocolate product.

This is very good.

Do you eat?

Are you a tin fish person?

I kind of Sometimes I get really I'm a tuna girl, okay, but the actual sardines, like the actual fish.

A couple of times I go, oh yeah, and then it's scary when it's the head and the spine, and you go, I don't like the spine.

I don't like the idea that they're I'm crunching on bones.

Don't really like that.

And I in Kyoto once, I of course did eat.

There was a thing where it was like the whole fish and it's just a little I'll do it.

But that's another very American thing though.

We don't want to see the four want to get the chicken finger?

Yeah, you don't want it.

Want it's separated from.

What they don't want, the carcass.

Yeah right right, Yeah.

I like a tuna.

Are you putting anything in or eating a plane tuna?

Yeah?

Lemon all over, I mean I do it.

I'll do a mustard.

I mean I do a real chop them up, salad, herbs, capers, oh wow, red onion, shallots, and what is the you're not?

It depends on if I'm in a cut.

I uh, I love a tuna with just lemon or whatever.

But the mayonnaise.

I don't know that I've ever actually even eaten that.

I've been circling a tuna melt at a restaurant.

Which restaurant my favorite Clark Street diner.

So good, it's good.

I don't know.

I just know that it's good.

I know the waiter that I I mean, we're there so often.

She's like, you have to try it, but and we kind of came to an agreement where she's like, you can send something back if you don't like it, and that kind of took some of the pressure.

You can't this happens, is what they love to tell you.

If you don't like it, it's a cocktail thing.

Because I'll have a cocktail at restaurant.

I go, oh, is this?

They go, if you don't like it, send it back?

I go, Now, I really can't because now you've gone doors open.

What could possibly be scary about that?

So now there's a real gun to my head.

And so I can't have you ever sent anything back?

Relish in it all the time, not all the time, and it's scary, and but it's one of the great accomplishments.

That's I think of adulthood that if I look at my life and I go, what's changed?

I can send something back now.

And by the way, it's rare, and it's an emergency.

It's you have something has to be really wrong.

I'm not doing I don't like this, of course not, but when it's an occasion, it has to be egregious, like like I did not order this.

That's because I used to just even suck that down.

But I got what I got.

You know.

It was like I was very yeah, I was very like, it won't be me.

I won't rock the boat.

But now I'm trying to think of a good sendback.

I had there anything, Yeah, I want to send it back.

Oh.

Actually I ordered a disgusting steak at a disgusting restaurant.

Here's the thing.

I went to a place where you go for happy hour cocktails and like French fries mistake and it was a huge thing.

And I go, I'm going to get the full at Mignon and it was so everything else.

It was like happy hour burger is ten dollars, right, happy hour fries are five dollars.

I go, I'll get the forty five dollars, fulllaming eye.

I knew it was a mistake, but I was hungry, and I was like, I don't I just it came and I said medium, because I go, I want to do a medium right here.

It arrived rare and it tasted like dog meat.

It tasted.

I was like, this is a frozen smart and final steak from three years ago.

I mean, I was like, this is not good.

And as a result, I barely touched it, but I sliced in I go and so I said.

I was like, and the guy was so slammed.

It's a happy hour joint.

He's like, what, They're already like steak like it was crazy.

And then I went, sorry to do this, but it was just so rare, right, and he looked at huh.

I went back to the thing comes back dog meat on the plate, and so I had to send that back and yeah, but that was the last time.

So they brought it back another steak back to you, the same steak, and you didn't eat it.

You just said, I took a by it.

My friends had a couple of bites and we all agreed that it was like.

That's the big problem when you send something back and they're like, well, we'll bring back the same thing, but because there might be multiple elements you don't like about it and the thing that you're sending it back for, they'll bring it back and that's gone.

But now you still don't like that.

Yeah, I just sent back a steak.

I've never done that before, but I realized that within the last two years or so.

Like when I was a waiter and people unless they were truly horrible and we're sending everything back.

It was like I didn't care.

Well, that's the thing that I always I talk.

I go, I'm being lovely, I'm being polite.

I'm not going, what the fuck is this?

Like, I'm being I am so sorry, and it's not egregious.

If I'm sending it back, I'm sending right for a reason.

You want to get the thing you pay for.

That's like I was.

I had had maybe twenty percent of the meal, and I was thinking, am I just going to sit here for the rest of my meal and not enjoy this?

And then pay for it.

I can't do that anymore.

It's not fair.

We're too old.

Yeah, if an ingredient is missing, I'll let them know.

And if an ingredient's missing, what do you mean.

Well, okay, now it's gonna sound like I send everything back.

But this is very I have to say, it's very rare.

Your head is just a tune them out.

Now, I'm hungry.

I want to tune them out.

I was just looking at all I see is a Clark Street.

That company owes me some sort of compensation.

You talk about them all the time, although I found out recently that their T shirt they sell is forty dollars, which I wasn't planning on buying one in the first place.

But that feels like a lot of five.

Yes, but people buy a T shirt.

Everybody needs a little extra money.

Okay, miss the ingredient.

I ordered a club and it didn't come with bacon.

Well that's you know, that's a There are only a few.

And they say they were lovely about us, We're so sorry.

Not only did they take it back, but they clearly remade the this this to me, I was like, well, you could just go back and just flop it up and throw the whole plate had been redone.

I feel like Clerk Street, you're getting high quality sour dough.

I want that cheddar on.

There, fantastic delicious and their cob salad.

I don't know if you've ever had that which Clark Street, because there's two, right, this is the one, the old Yeah, the old cafe one on one.

Cafe one on one used to have ice to go there in high school.

It's been around for a long time.

Yeah, I'm not that old.

H I used to go there to go there.

They had a waffle brownie Sunday, and this is something that I mourn.

I mourn the loss of this brownie batter and a waffle maker.

That's a gene idea, especially for a diner waffle.

I scream hot fudge me sixteen years old, high as a kite there with my girlfriends being bad.

That is such a good idea because then they don't have to worry about the brownie getting to stale.

Yeah, Crispy Edges waffle.

Clark Street reach out, I mean, can they get that back on the middle a waffle maker there?

I have a Clerk Street announcement.

I went there.

I have a dear friend.

He would love his fabulous love you, Lauren.

He goes there a lot.

I went with him once, and he has his whole thing there.

He has his women, he's got this relationship with the wait there she was selling this oil that she made called abundance oil.

Okay, and it was like, you know, it's like we're this and like abundance.

I was going through a hard time.

I got give me, I need a bigger bawl, you know.

I bought it.

Smell fabulous.

Oh this is great.

Little roller.

I had in my purse for a couple of days.

I was wearing it.

Something happened, not blaming the bottle, but shattered in my purse.

I went into my person, got my keys pulled out.

Bloody.

That wasn't that bad, but cut your handle.

I was out of party, actually, and I was fishing around and I go, ah, blood, I had to ask a bartender for a band aid.

That's a broken glass stuck in your hand.

A week or so later, I meet my current part partner.

We'll take that again.

A week or so later, I meet my current partner.

Can you imagine it's actually a week or so, But I just mean, is that the abundance oil, and.

I feel like the symbolism of it's rich, yeah something blood and the passion.

That's amazing.

And was I assumed there was no real connection there.

It wasn't like they were like, oh I noticed that scar on your hand.

Yeah no no, But I just later I go, huh, maybe the abundance oil.

I got to get more.

That's very like witches brew where you have to put a drop of blood into the brew and it creates whatever you need.

Wow, And I get some more oil.

And I'm sure your purse smells wonderful now it did?

What purse was it at the time?

You know?

That's girls with our purses.

The passes recommend they become a certain air of your life.

That's the air of life of that purse.

And then you move on in that purse.

You got to just get rid of it.

That bag right there have been carrying around for I think three years.

It's a nightmare.

And I can't commit to a new bag.

I know exactly what bag you're going to upgrade to.

What.

I have a couple of ideas for you.

I need, I genuinely need to punt this as holes in it.

Okay, I know a bag.

I don't why I'm keeping a secret at Couslada.

Sorry, but they are friends.

But they're fabulous.

That's a good bag.

They just new season.

I just saw the show a fashion week.

They came out with a new They have a new bag that is so fabulous.

It's amazing.

It's not gonna be cheap, sweet, but it's gonna last you for the rest of the next ten years.

That's what I need, because I'm not someone who's like a constant turnover.

You need a fat you need a real bag.

I just need a bag that's like, you know, I can use and it's I have.

One of their other ones.

It's like my tour bag fits a lot.

Do they have any inner pocket?

I don't know.

I need just for my ones.

Yeah.

I think there's always my wall.

Every a serious bag is gonna have the obligatory inner zip.

The rest of its keys, and then swamp right just garbage they have to fish through.

I think you should get that one in like navy in a like an army green.

Okay, this is good to know because I've been online for at least six months.

I wonder if you'll think it's like if it's like a little too firm for you.

But it's not it.

Who cares?

No, I know, I think they'll be into it.

Okay, I'm very curious.

Yeah, it's black too.

See this is why you're here.

Look at this ads is while you're look at this ad Clark Street.

These companies compensated.

I know, Well, is there anything left we have to say about this fish?

I think this was really nice.

Glad we ate it tastes wonderful.

M I wonder if the listener hates that's like the soft pressure of tooth on chocolate seems like a nightmare, But that's what you get.

This molded into that.

Look at the look at the scales on that.

That's a high quality item.

And now I have a couple for decor, which is so lovely.

Most can just kind of you know, ratch, it's almost a little toddler.

You go, oh, like they'd like that you could taunt a child from the little sardine.

Children.

Well, I think we should play a game.

Okay, We're going to play a game called Gift or a Curse.

But I need a number between one and ten for you.

Okay, I have to do.

I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces.

So right now you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want with the microph.

I have a podcast called Poog.

You can find us at poog podcast.

Legally we had to be Berlant Novak.

Things are shaking being shooken up over at Poog headquarters.

But the point is please come over and listen to the podcast.

And of course you can find me at caperlan caperland dot com for touring tickets.

Yeah, okay, one, I'm an actor for hire.

Someone described me as a the other day.

I go, fuck you, saying them ugly.

I don't like that.

I'm an actress.

Hello, comedian of course.

Someone someone was introducing she's a great writer.

I go, that's a weird thing to name you first, like writer, Like why give up.

My pen?

I would say singer for not that you're not a great writer, but it's like I think you're.

Known, thank you seven people.

She's a she's a great writer, hair stylist, dentist, exactly, garbage man, yeah, yeah, all these things.

Yeah yeah writer.

Was it someone who knew you well?

Apparently not?

No, that's what I know well, but someone I know enough to go writer.

I feel like whatever, good for them that shakes you up.

The actress, re evaluate your actress.

Okay, everyone go, So it's back to Poog.

Listen, this was a whole drama, a big drama in the podcast world.

We're on the cover of Fast Company.

I don't know what that is.

What's fast Company?

That's a great, great question.

It's like burn into my head.

I don't know what it is.

Is it a website?

Is it like an articleal magazine?

I think yeah, I feel like I always see it like almost like uh.

Okay, deep Pockets.

I'd love to do it.

I would love to do a seminar a Fast Company.

Who's subscribing to Fast Company?

Is it like marketing companies to put on their coffee tables?

Yeah, they like Fast Company's like here are the top businesses of this month.

Yeah, there's no one sitting at home like waiting for the mail to come to get their latest issue of Fast Company.

I don't know what it is, but it does seem like they have someone working there.

Someone's there and they're talking about businesses and your business and companies and I have a business.

But back to Poog, So everyone, the podcast continues.

You know, we started in COVID.

It and we're just still there.

We've seen a lot of come and go.

We've seen a lot of stand strong, resilient.

Okay, this is how we by some of the episodes stick around.

This is how we play Gift or a Curse.

I'm going to name three things.

You'll tell me if they are a gift or a curse and why, and I'll tell if you're right or wrong, because there are correct answers.

First up, this is from a listener named Emily.

Gift or a curse.

A character quietly, yet dramatically takes a pill to let the audience know they are troubled.

It's a curse.

Why I don't understand the question.

Wait, a person takes a pill.

A character like in a TV or movement, takes a pill to let the audience know they're troubled.

Oh I see, I see.

No, it's a gift to the audience to show them.

It's it's character development.

It's a rich character development.

Correct.

I mean it's cheap writing.

But yeah, I think absolutely still actually used to do that tiktoks when I was a little kid.

For years, your little pills.

Yeah, yeah, when you're bored, you get to it's like there are a few things that kind of were drug coded as children, like.

Tiktoks were huge.

And then I loved a First Wives Club when I was younger and stuck her channing in the beginning, she has she's about to kill herself or spoiler happened to the first scene.

So it's fine.

But she jumps off the balcony of her apartment building and she has vodka and a little thing and she's like drinking the vodka with like the glass hitting and I remember doing that, like loving like the woman on h Yeah.

She poured herself the glass of vodka before she.

Drinks like one last drink and then she puts on what it's nice.

She's fabulous.

It's a great scene.

It's a great movie.

We won't make them like that anymore.

We get to see the actor.

You know.

Everyone's take on the pills swallow.

Yeah, sometimes you just need it spelled out for you.

That's something's wrong.

Yeah.

Actually I sometimes am rosing about myself because I have pills.

I don't like like I take it time.

I'm actually a little scared of pills.

But I've been known to have an emergency colnup in here and there.

But I have a little pillcase and I am on a plane.

I had a tummy ache the other day and I took something for my tummy, and I felt very aware of like opening the pillcase in public and being like like, right now, not me, but yeah, it's like what are they thinking?

And I wanted to be like, yeah, but everyone gets to guess what's wrong with you?

Yeah, exactly, and no one at that point they're gonna be tiptoeing around you for the rest of the flight.

Well, I was overthinking because I'm actually I'm taking this at the end of the flight.

That would be weird to take take a sleep medication at the end of the.

That's a great idea.

I'm gonna drive myself home.

So I thought, anyone observing me right now I might go, what was she taken?

But I probably don't care.

But of course, and so I thought, well that I'm throwing them off this.

What do you take for a stomach?

You know you're up there.

I'm never prepared.

I don't have any pills.

I have pills at all times.

I should, you know, I have a whole bag of garbage always what are you doing well?

Because I get migraines chronically, so always have migraine medication on me.

I always have something for the stomach.

God forbid, and I feel God forbid.

Migraine is that prescription medication I need that.

I literally give myself an injection once a month in my five I have them at a.

Really bad frequently.

And I'm in a whole battle with my insurance company right now because I'll just say quickly, I've been taking it for years.

Change my life.

This medication, life saving medication really when you think about it, and five dollars guess how much of costs now?

Oh, I can't imagine.

Hundred unbelievable, untenable.

So I've been literally begging for free samples all over town.

I had to pay for it once out of pocket.

But who can do that?

I mean it's just insane.

Yeah, I mean, I mean we all know how awful it is, absolutely horrible, And like you think about somebody that has the rug pulled out from underneath them and they don't have that.

With the coupons and everything, I got it down that one time to seven hundred.

Seven hundred dollars the price of an ambulance ride in twenty twelve.

So I mean the chaos continues.

Oh, that's horrible.

And you haven't gotten the approval yet.

Oh, I've been denied.

I'm in like my fourth appeal.

They pulled that on me with some medication monsters.

Yeah, and there was just there's nothing you can do.

Anyway.

Anyway, we gotta reach out.

Yeah, exactly.

Okay, so you got one right, so far, so good for you.

I'm second.

This is from an unknown listener, so they must have posted it on some sort of thing we were doing.

God bless you, gift her a curse.

Tongue scrapers.

Okay, so I have a lot to say about this because tongue scraper ostensibly you go, well, that's great, fresher breath whatever.

Jury's out.

Because listen to me, there's there's two schools of thought, and I have to go deeper into this.

Some people think that when you wake up in the morning, you should immediately tongue scrape brush your teeth, get all that out right before breakfast.

Oh yeah, for coffee, for everything, because they think, oh, well, in the night, all your shit is caked in there, and then you're eating it, you're digesting it.

It's going back in, oh, causing heart problems.

Plaque, the whole thing, right, there's another school of thought.

Andrew Huberman taught me this.

Yes, I dip in Huberman.

He teaches at Berkeley.

There's some scary stuff going on there, but there's usually somebody who fixed.

I like science, he said, because I listened to one of his episodes about like immunity, because I'm obsessed with immunity, you know, doing what I we all, you know, we all should be but touring and whatnot.

And he one of his little tips.

He goes something that I do for immune for immune support every day, and you wake up bedside water.

Swallow oh, which is the absolute opposite.

So I so I have an announcement.

I've been doing that for about six months.

I haven't gotten.

Shiok oh, my god in six months.

And I've been traveling.

I mean I've been traveling.

That's a long stretch.

I get sick probably once a quarter something.

M h wow.

And that's so.

I mean, there's something about that that the logic doesn't add up.

So maybe that's why it works, because I feel like there's nothing worse than a glass of water that you wake up to.

I don't know what.

I don't know what The science is there.

But he goes, he goes.

You know, this is kind of a I don't know what he said about it, but he goes, he goes.

People think it's a little gross.

He said, It's not like you're you literally do.

It's not like you're like just what's inside your mouth, just like a But I started.

Doing that as a habit just kind of and I kind of I'm kind of going, someone's here, well, maybe I'll give it an But then I read a horror story yesterday.

My friend's friend's friend suddenly ill, plagued with sickness.

Feels crazy, going to the hospital.

I've never felt worse.

Help help something.

They can't figure it out.

They're testing them, they're doing all this stuff.

Eventually doctor comes in and goes, tell me about your oral hygiene.

It's okay, well I'm pretty on top of it.

I floss, I brush, blah blah.

When do you floss?

When do you brush?

They get down to the order.

Turns out they think this person has been ingesting plaque and it's doing made something go haywire.

Sounds crazy.

How is that?

I go, well, then is that what I'm doing?

I'm right, I'm adjusting.

All of it, and I'm flossing before bed and then I.

Go to sleep, right, So it's all just kind of floating around.

You want to floss spit when you're at night.

Well, by the way, who's flossing yum yum yum and eating?

I mean, you're like spinning it out.

But I have another announcement.

I'm saving lives alcohol free mouthwash.

Do not use mouthwash with alcohol.

Oh yeah, I've switched over making sure.

But I just kind of thought, well, why do I need alcohol in my mouth washed?

But a lot of people think, well, that's what's cleaning you.

No, it's the opposite.

You're getting rid of these essential something.

Yeah, it's killing off a bacteria.

They don't want to kill it.

That'd heart.

I love when I do something by accident.

Yeah.

Wow, And I just learned you're not.

Just as of today, I've learned you're not supposed to rinse after brushing your teeth.

Huh.

You're supposed to see.

The floride is supposed to spit.

Which I tried this morning.

It was not didn't feel natural in any way.

I don't like that I've been, you know, washing out my entire life.

You too, have been washing it out and the water feels so good.

But apparently that's what you're supposed to do.

Right now, I'm using a Colgate with kind of a science.

I think I bought this in a four pack at Costco, kind of a medical looking tube.

It's not their traditional you know, it's like almost a doctor's certified.

Yes, I've I'm really into arm and Hammer Now I'm just never go.

Back baking soda.

Yeah, why the clean that?

Now?

When I do Colgate or Cress, I'm like, what is this a trip to the fair?

The County Fair tastes like sugar.

It's like it's like it's like tastes.

Like mint, like crazy, and it's so smooth.

Doesn't get it clean to me?

I need the arm and Hammer.

I need the microscoppers, right, I like that bit of grit, Yeah, that little making so yeah, my I do think we should just narrow it down to like, why does Colgate have fifty varieties as a company?

Just settle on one choice.

They think that's what you want to want to go in there and see a wall of options, But.

For me, it's just which one is on sale, So they're not going to get made.

Yeah, tongue scrapers.

You're saying, I own one.

Sometimes I'll use it, but I need to get more research.

Gift, I shall say it's a gift curse.

Look at all the efforts you've brought up, not big.

Effect and even yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right.

I think it's not only we don't know the science is out.

It seems dangerous.

I feel like you could go too far with it.

Well, yeah, the horror element of it, the final designation of accident, pulling your tongue off or totally scraping the you know, the surface.

Off, threading your tongue through the whole.

Oh, it's kind of amazing.

You don't see that more people threading it through.

And then no, I feel like just brushing your tongue with your toothbrush is enough.

Totally waste of money.

That's another, you know, scam, that's just kind of being imposed on us.

Whatever, you got one wrong, and that's fine.

Uh.

This final one is from one of our Patreon listeners, Arista Arista A R I S T A.

Thank you.

I'm sorry, I don't know how to pronounce your name.

Gift to a curse.

Cute c fake movie trailers with celebrities that remind you not to talk or text during the movie.

Well, very rarely are they with celebrities, So I'm a little confused by the question.

Apparently they exist.

Okay, So there's a classic one that I'm sure people have seen that I remember seeing in theaters in like high school, my early years.

That's Fabulous, which is like a opera.

It's like there's like an opera performance and you think you're in about this, and then this one opens your mouth to sing and I phone rings and someone's like, oh no, that's fabulous, adorable, love it.

No movie stars in that.

Those are so characters in great costumes.

I would actually go as far as to argue, I've never seen a celebrity and I please don't talk during the movie, So I'm gonna have to see that.

You might maybe this person's talking, of course the viral Nicole Kidman and c.

But she's not asking anyone to do that.

It's not about that, but it's about the power of storytelling, right, And so I've never seen a celebrity in one of those.

So I refeat the question.

It's a gift though, because I like that one media.

Wrong.

I've never seen one with a celebrity either.

So I'm a little baffled and I'm disoriented.

But to me, I don't think we need any of these things because the people who are going to do these things are going to do them no matter what.

Right.

So I'm just sitting there being reminded that someone in the theater will be doing that ignoring what they've been told.

Have you ever been with someone where there I went some movie recently with some friends.

One of the friends was talking a little bag.

Oh, a friend of a friend.

No, no, my friend who I guess I haven't seen a movie with a long time, just a little bit.

But I was like, oh, because I'm I'm of course, that's what you do.

The most I could ever do a movie looking for like the most quite thing I had to be said.

It would be sub perceptual.

And it puts you in a weird position because you're like, well, I don't want to be rude to and.

Go stop talking and making me uncomfortable.

You can't sit to a friend, then you're a cop or.

I'll just be icy to them.

And then I'm like, now do they think I'm not fun to be around?

I'm can't talk in the movie.

You can talk through the trailers.

I don't care anymore.

The trailers are communal.

Yes, when you make friends, what do we think of this?

No, that's fun.

I had a lot of fun.

Actually had a really fun time going to see weapons.

And I was I was in a really good mood, and I was doing major entertainment for the whole theater.

I was doing major talking.

I was talking about I'm scared, I'm scared.

I was doing the whole thing is I really was scared and talking it all up, and a bond of was and people like you want to switch some too close someth I gets good.

I was doing incredible community work.

But then once the trailer's pay and re in the movie, bitter silence.

Of course that's what everyone's there for.

And the trailers were there for a half an hour, were trapped.

What was I watching a movie I didn't like?

Oh, Wicked, but there was somebody on their phone.

Oh just during the movie.

Happens all the time.

And then I see it again, I go, sorry, but I loved Wicked.

But the point is, please cast me in anything.

But the point is, it's just it's not your cup of tea.

It's too strong to say I didn't like it.

It's not it's just that it's not for me.

Yeah, that's and that's fine.

By the way, so cried it's not for me when she's falling through when she sees he chocolateself.

Not I didn't know what it was about.

Told me what it was about.

On the way to the theater.

I hadn't seen the plot.

And I'm happy for everyone doing everything, happy for every everyone, except for this person texting during it.

That's half the reason I'll go to a movie is because I know I won't be able to text.

That's the joy of it.

Because at home I will be on my phone.

It's impossible to resist looking at my phone while watching.

I need to be trapped in a movie.

Theater, I know.

So when someone's guess what I just set up before coming to see you today?

The light phone?

What's that?

Here's another ad the light phone, because I because I have to move away from technology and joining my life.

I've donated my brain to science and not for my own gain.

It's horrible, it's over.

I used to be smart.

I'm dumb now.

It's actually completely The light phone is a phone that only has texts maps camera, you can put music on there.

The point is it's not connected to the internet.

Right, Oh, so it's almost like you put MP three's on you.

You can't exactly, it's like an iPod.

You can't.

You can't download apps.

So it's only a phone number.

You can text, you can talk obviously, maps huge, what else do you really truly?

And I just set it up before coming here, So I'm gonna have two phone numbers.

Now.

Oh so you're keeping your iPhone or whatever?

Of course I got it.

So but how are you going to operate with these two phones?

So here's what it's going to be.

I'm gonna have I'm gonna have like light phone days.

I'm gonna give my light phone number to people that have to reach me emergency concert and I'll go.

How much does a light phone cost?

It's not cheap.

They have different models.

I think this new one's going to run you like six hundred's for a new life.

That's half the cost of an iPhone certainly.

And by the way, it's fun.

It's cute.

It's light physically light, it's like a square.

It's I'm really excited.

I just set it up and I tested it to the phone, took a photo.

It's like a cute little Oh.

I want to try one of these, and so I'll report back.

But I'm convinced it's going to change my life.

Because I have you know, like, do not disturb on at all times?

Do anything?

Well?

It does for me.

It makes everyone mad at me, even my doctors.

Be At this point, I was texting with my doctor this morning.

You text with your doctor.

No, that's too close of her.

I need the doctor right here.

I'm saying, pictures, what's this rash?

It hurts when I touch this.

Help?

Did you know them prior to the doctor relationship?

We actually have an amazing relationship.

And I'm a powerful manifestor.

And I had done an interview and I guess it was variety and they were like, what's your goal for the year or what's something you want for the year?

Right?

And I said, and I meant, meant from the soul.

It was authentic.

I want a primary care doctor in my network who I like.

I met this doctor at a Emmy event.

Oh wow, she's.

High up there.

I go, this is great.

I need a doctor.

We start talking.

She's she's fabulous, She's like, what are you looking for we talk.

She goes, I have some people I can connect you with, and then she goes, you know what, I'll be your doctor.

Oh my god, she is beyond.

And that's I mean, that's unbelievable.

And then she by the way, she texted me today apparently she's a podcast.

I'm gonna go on it.

But I lost my last doctor to a podcast.

Really, the last thing I heard he said he was starting, Oh my god, He's like, well, what has my treatment?

Ben?

I love her and it's really, I mean, it's one of the greatest blessings of my life.

Wow.

I want to manifest something like that.

Something I'm dreaming about constantly is a someone who cuts hair that has ideas.

About, oh, what to do with your hair?

Yes, well that's what you need.

I love my current barber, but he doesn't, you know, he doesn't bring thee.

I would love for someone to confidently say this is what you should do.

Oh, I have I have some names for you.

Okay, that's really because it's hard and it's hard to get any sort of recommendation.

Okay, see, there we go.

I think I might be texting with one of.

These guys for you.

Yeah, we have to ask for what we want.

Yeah, and sometimes beautiful thing about I'm in your hands, But what do you think right?

Oh, to get another person who the stakes are not as high for them relationship wise, and they can say something.

They can look at you and say this is what needs to happen.

Yeah, the best feeling in the world.

Deliberating because no one else is going to give you the truth and they don't really see you.

If someone if someone's been in your life a really long time, it's hard for them to separate.

You have to go to children at that point go am I ugly like, Yeah, you don't have to ask, and you know, it's.

Nothing worse when a child starts crying before you've done anything.

Just seeing you.

Yeah, well you got two out of no, one out of three, five of it.

That's totally fine.

You were honest with yourself and what are you gonna do?

Yeah, let's see.

Okay, Now analys has their own gift or a curse that they're going to present we you have to speak to it.

At least, what is it?

Gift?

A curse?

Watching a scary movie alone?

We were just talking about scary movies, really good one.

Okay, so I have a complicated relationship to scary movies.

I think I like them, but I'm very poorous and I'm open and they scare me.

Sure, so I have to time of day how going into theaters.

Like, for example, my friend who loves scary movies is like, let's go see The Conjuring, and I go, that might be too scary for me.

I don't know so, but I'm open to it watching them alone.

My partner is tragically really afraid of scary movies.

They're like, no, I've been bigging to watch Zodiac, one of my favorite movies.

Oh my god, maybe my favorite movie.

It's one of the best, one of the most rewatchable movies.

I agree completely, and they're like no, And I'm like, re'spect.

They're like, I won't do murder, I won't do sexual violence.

I won't do uh like possession demons that scares them.

I go, yeah, there's nothing they can do zombies for some reason, zombies don't scare them.

Well, zombies are boring.

But watching a scary movie alone, I'm gonna go with Curse.

I think I think it's not.

But I'm on the fence here because I was thinking about actually watching the conjuring solo an old version to gear up for the new one before I go to the grove and shell out.

Right, this is going to distract, But I just had this vision of you alone and not watching This isn't a scary movie, but the idea of you sitting and watching Pirates at the Caribbean, I've never seen it.

It could happen.

It seems like a very funny thing on my couch, just like seeking it out and I'm watching it and just like wow.

Yeah, be like, well, technology has advance and it doesn't look that good.

So you're saying, Okay, I'm actually.

Gonna go with I'm gonna go with Gift, even though my instinct is cursed, and we'll see if that pays off.

I also am going to say Gift and I it's an extreme I've done it before, and I'll say it's a very hard thing to do because it's the fear factor is through the roof when you're alone.

But I think that's a that's how you maximize what the movie is.

And it could be fun.

Like I'm actually picturing myself on my couch with a blanket, like.

Oh, it's fantastic.

I tried watching I've had several failures where I tried watching The Strangers alone.

Once I put it in in a twelve forty five am oh home invasion movie.

A few years ago.

Oh eight, maybe at this point, Okay, you should see this movie.

It's one of the most terrible invasion for me.

That movie I watched, you know, I knew what it was, and I watched up until the point when there was a knock at the door in the movie and I said, oh, okay, I'm not watching this anymore.

That's azing.

That scared you that much.

I saw like a fake clickbait thing that was like seven or seven out of nine people couldn't wouldn't be seven out and I was probably say out of ten, but it was like people couldn't finish this movie on Netflix was like Netflix officially says.

That marketing tactics, it was obs scare a meter.

What movie was it?

Don't no something I had never heard of a clue they were trying to I couldn't it because it was so terrible exactly exactly.

I hate this one.

Yeah, yeah, no, I think it's a gift.

I love watching scary movies with people, but I if I really want to be terrified.

I have to do it alone.

What do you see weapons?

Oh?

I loved Weapons.

Was in the theater, so it wasn't sccary.

Oh okay, I had some scary moments.

Did you scream?

No?

I didn't scream.

I rarely scream.

I screamed in Jaws.

Recently actually went saw Jaws.

Have you ever seen Jaws?

Yes, there's one scary moment with a dead body underwater.

It's kind of a jump scare with a man's face.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, scared.

Oh my god, it's terrifying.

But the thing I love about Weapons is I love a horror movie where there's an actual evil, Like there's an evil witch.

You know, it's not like psychological or anything.

It's just like, oh no, there's an actual demon that the town has to deal with.

She rocks.

She's so good.

Finally someone wasn't scared to go.

There's good for her, so good on a least.

What is the answer.

It's a gift.

It's a gift we all win.

I mean, yeah, to me, it's my way to show me what I made of.

You know, if I can sit through something really terrifying by myself and get through it, I'm good.

Like, I've never felt stronger than watching And I know this may seem silly because it's not very scary for a lot of people, but watching the Blair Witch Project by myself, oh, I felt invincible.

I could do anything to do a rewatch because that movie really got me.

I recently watched it for the first time.

Did nothing for me.

I think that I've just seen too much.

Where Witch just like Pre nine eleven, like it just takes me back.

I mean, coming one of those people, it's like the world.

I mean, of course, just end the episode quick before I start getting into pre nine to eleven.

Okay, well we all win today.

Good for us.

Okay, we have to answer a listener question.

People writing into I said no gifts at gmail dot com.

Will you help me answer questions?

Okay, well, this is Salu Bridgett.

So this person's already off on a bad Yeah.

I don't know if that's a typo or what, but in the French, you're you're on my bad side.

Listener.

My brother in law is turning forty this December, and my husband and I want to get him a thoughtful yet unique gift.

He's a college professor of creative writing, and his hobbies include surfing, reading, and writing, and he loves a good pizza as specifically New England.

Pizza as a single New England pizza.

Where's is it?

What is New England pizza?

There's no culture there.

I don't know what New England pizzas versus New York pizza is that they Maybe I'm hungry pizza and tuna melts.

We will clan.

We only get to see him and my sister a couple of times a year when they visit us for the holidays.

It's too much, it's overwhelming.

Yeah.

Uh, they're in New York.

We're in Florida.

So even an experience gift during Christmas time might be fun.

He already owns a million books.

NERD, what would you get a forty year old writer, surfer reader who seems to have it all advanced?

Thanks Catherine.

I have to say something that's gonna sound like spawn, like I'm sponsored.

Here we go.

But I have to say like a nask and my stickers.

This might sound obvious, but gold belly and a pinch.

Oh has some fun stuff for someone that wants a food item.

Like you're saying he's a pizza head.

Loves knowing them pizza.

I've never heard of that culture, but why not send a fun other kind of pizza sampler.

Here's what you do.

Like my friend had a baby, I send her post posts post.

Part post when you say that with that depression, but it's not and it's a weird.

Yeah, yeah, it seems a little are you.

Yeah, I don't know, but I sent the pizza because they do you know Top Chef Chris Bianca.

Yes, Chris Bianca.

It's a fun episode.

You can get his pizzas sense, right, So I go watch the chefs hey episode, get excited, to get hungry.

I have the pizza.

Isn't that fun?

What an experience?

Yeah?

So I think.

Sometimes a fun gold belly item.

Multimedia like can be.

That was my own little spin.

But I think that's a great gold belly because I've been sent a couple of gold bellies.

I go, let's hit the spot.

Because I am never like, oh I'll get gold belly for myself.

I'll never order something from across the country.

It's wet, but it's such a novelty.

It's an extreme not and there are different price points, so if you want it into the fortieth you want to get up there.

I think you can get things as low as maybe you know, there's seventy dollars range, but they're going up, up up.

I wonder what the most expensive thing you can get on there, and it's probably some sort.

Of meat, right, I think you can go pretty high.

Probably some type of sushi or yeah, does it all come frozen?

Don't gold sushis like a rough No, it's not all I've gotten.

I was.

I sent Russ and daughters so they it's different.

That's a lovely I mean, and she could, uh, maybe there's a good food in Florida that could be gold Belly to Florida.

Yeah, there is good Cuban food there.

We go.

You have never been to Florida, so I've never been to Florida.

I've never set foot in the state.

Well, and I can actually cannot really speak to the Cuban food because my experience in Miami was very singular and I was not really allowed to go into the city.

But I really, really okay, I really wanted a Cuban sandwich and ended up so desperate to have when I had one in the airport.

So it wasn't really the experience I.

Was looking sometimes airport food.

I had one of the best things I had in Italy at the train station.

Well but Italy, Yeah, what did you have this fucking amazing sandwich.

It's weird when you go to other countries and it's just like baseline, everything's good.

Yeah, it's like you don't have to worry about even a train station having bad Yeah it was.

I was blown away.

Oh well, I think that's a lovely gift.

My only thought is you're in Florida.

Has he been on one of those air powered boats?

What is that called?

Was you know the thing with a giant fan behind it?

Did they fly across a swamp.

A solo like a one seater?

No, I feel like it's usually uh like a swamp person.

That's like a swamp tour.

Swamp tour.

Have you been on a swamp tour?

No, that's how I want to del ray fall in love.

That's true.

And if he's single, I know, get out there misconnection.

If it were on the Swana, I could work for anyone.

She's still married to the guy, never been happier, So I believe it.

I saw Listen walking down the aisle full blown, and then someone there was footage of her recently on a tour being like and then crying like looking at him, I.

Was like, whoa, that is incredible.

Good for her, really happy for her.

Well, yeah, we love her and Catherine of you and your brother in law.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday to him, and hopefully send him some food and then say you'll take him on a swamp tour.

I think that's fun.

If you already took him on a swamp to he's probably hooked.

He probably wants to go on another.

We answered the question perfectly.

I'm scared of a swamp tour.

Alligators.

No, alligators are very top of my list of terrify.

I was like about alligators in therapy yesterday.

Have you ever seen one in person?

No?

But I had a dream?

Oh, I mean young and analysis.

We'll talk about dreams a lot.

What happened to the within the dream today?

Sometimes alligators appear for me and the primordial mother m the alligator.

You know what's lurking underneath the service that can suddenly explode and.

Can follow and thrash, and they scare me.

Yeah, of course I.

Am not unique in that they're scary, But something about like, sometimes I watch videos of them.

I kind of like want to feel the fear.

There should be an alligator horror movie.

I don't think anybody is really a lake plasid.

I think that about a giant alligator.

It's a great alligator versus crocodile.

What's the difference.

Is it a gender thing?

I feel like a crocodile has a rounder snout while the alligator has a more harper points smaller Yeah, can kind of snatch you, while the crocodile is more like chomps you.

It's a science.

Yeah, they're terrifying to me.

We had a lizard in the house recently.

Baby alligator.

Gim was screaming.

Yeah, I had it was adorable.

It was smaller than that's cute.

The alligators don't scare me.

I had an alligator, I mean a lizard that came into the house hot day in Los Angeles.

Where was it laying on my cold laptop on the top and take a load off?

Just the cold apple metal like I know.

I was like, smart, someone should make beds out of that so aluminum at oh beautiful.

Well we answered the question perfectly.

I have my chocolates.

I'm so glad you could be here.

When the misstic thank you for being here, thank you for having me, and listener, the podcast is over for screeching to a halt.

I'm oddly warm.

I don't know what's happening in the studio today.

I think we need to I mean, unfortunately, it's too late for the note.

The next person who records in here will be nice and breezy.

We're sweating.

We have to get out of here.

I love you, goodbye.

I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production.

Our senior producer is on Alisa Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday.

The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner.

You must follow the show on Instagram.

At I said no Gifts, that's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting.

And don't you want to see the gifts?

Li invit?

Did you hear?

Thuna Man myself perfectly clear.

When you're a guest, Tom, you gotta come to me empty And I said, no guests, you're our presences, presents and already had too much stuff.

So how do you dare to surbey me