And I invited you here.

I thought I made myself perfectly clear.

When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty.

And I said, no, guests, your own presences presents enough.

I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me?

Welcome to I said, no gifts.

I'm Bridger wineger An Lisa is not here today.

They're joining us remotely, like a real pervert at home with a scratchy throat or something.

That's the latest excuse.

So you know we're all being watched.

And then I should just point out if you're watching this on video, they've added this thing to the microphone, the logo to the box.

What is that the thing that's attached to the microphone.

It's almost I wish this a Channel eight news or something that would be more fun, but it does.

They're always adding something without my permission.

I don't like this at all.

No, I think it's fine.

No, I think it's cute.

Yeah, you'll have to everybody reach out and let us know if you think this is cute or bad.

The morning's been an absolute disaster so far.

But I'm here at the studio.

What's going on on a Lisa's not here, That's fine.

You're just wondering do they still do shopping sprees anymore?

Can you win a shopping spree?

I was thinking about I have.

I feel like you haven't.

I haven't had the chance to win a shopping spree in probably twenty years, and so let me know, I don't know if I want to live in a world if I can't win a shit shopping spring and you know, like a fifteen to thirty minute one one where you have to rush through the store grabbing things?

Do those exist?

Does that matter to anyone?

Does anyone even remember what a shopping I remember?

I wanted a shopping spree tot JC Penny.

I can't imagine they're giving anything away at this point.

M Patreon continues to exist patreon dot com slash I said, no gifts.

By the time this gets to you, I think we'll be wrapping up.

I'm doing The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, and I think we'll probably be done with this second season headed into the first season, because that's how I do things, and I have a lot of questions about season one, and then there's other things happening there.

It's a whole buffet of treats.

I don't know.

God, the morning's been a disaster.

Let's get into the show.

I love today's guest.

It's Danielle Schneider.

Danielle, welcome to I said, no gifts.

I'm so happy to be here, Richard.

I'm so happy to have you here.

You feel like a grounding presence right now.

I'm not.

I'm a mess.

You seem so relaxed.

No, it's an illusion.

I'm a mess, I TMJ.

I'm like, oh, TMJ.

In fact, I am going to get my No, this is going to be a shock.

I'm going to get my wisdom teeth out.

And I know I'm an elder.

So that is a shome on this podcast is people over twenty five years old getting their wisdom teeth.

I got a colonoscopy and my wisdom teeth found at the same time, which is not something you hear a lot.

So but my TMJ, like I got out one like when you're supposed to do it, like twenty two and then I said, well, I'm never doing that.

It was awful, awful, and so now I've been driven to it, like now I just simply have to do.

Why didn't they take all of them out of the same time.

I put the kaibosh on that.

Now you said, I just want to sample it and see how I feel.

You know, you just want to, like a sample, just as everybody does with any surgery, any mouth procedure.

Let's just take a to tease and a moose booshe So no, I think I one had maybe gotten infected or impacted or something.

So we were going to do like that one first, get that out of the way, and I said, like, this can't this can't go on, this can't go awful.

So yeah, I'm a mess, But thank you for believing in me and believing in my grounding presence.

It's a facade, but I am excited that you mentioned the Secret Lives of Mormon Wise.

How are you watching?

Oh?

I mean you obviously don't just dabble in the genre.

Now.

This is It's funny because Casey, my podcast partner at Bitch Sash, she likes it, but she's not like, whereas I can't eat just one, Like I'm literally like I watch one.

They go down so smooth for me.

The Secret Lives and Mormon Wise.

I don't know why, but I can't stop like I can take down one in a weekend.

Wow, Okay, so this.

I'm a kid, I'm like a job.

Things are falling apart for you on the show exactly.

I actually want to speak about this for a moment because I feel like the first season was not that.

I feel like the first season was like I had to drag myself through it.

Really no, I liked it's so bad, Like I.

Just the second season, I've actually had to because I'm now, what do we even call this recapping?

Commenting on?

Correspondent correspondent?

Yes, I'm corresponding on and so I'm watching them episode by episode, week by week.

So I've had to really stop myself and I have to say, what a why don't they just release them week by week?

That feels like a bad business model.

I think that you know, every every of our streaming services, you and I are in the biz.

We're in the biz, and they all have different things, like because Hulu does sometimes release week by week, or like Apple releases week by week.

And I don't know if you're on the you know, Love Island train, but they I can't keep up.

I feel like that releases hour by hour.

I swear to god, Like every time I look there's more, Oh, oh my god.

I can't keep up.

It's like daily, right or I don't know.

I mean, I think that's what's kept me away from the Bachelor is because like the amount of time you have to though if you added up all my house at one point, Casey added up all of our housewives time, and it's been like we spent like ten years on so it's not but yeah, it's hard to keep up.

But the Mormon wives, like, I don't know why they released it.

I am grateful that it released fast.

Like Taylor Frankie Paul's mother, it got to glow up, Oh my.

God, the ultimate glow up, total transformation.

I've never I've never seen like a mother of such a transformation.

And so obsessed with like asking her do I look as young as you?

This kind of thing so gross, very odd.

She her desire to be on the show and to talk about her daughter's sex life and.

To show up at places where her daughter like isn't invited or like just instead.

And also I guess the real litter to one of the mom talk gals, and it's kind of obsessed with that one's husband.

It's a whole give her her own.

Show, I know, but I don't want to.

She wants it too bad, like I want to take the show away from her.

I love a desperate, desperate person, you know, like on Salt, Like I loved Monica's.

Mom, Monica's mom Linda.

Oh wow, I believe you know her name, number one fan, then you must also have loved what's her name this season?

The musical theater actress who was involved with an Osmond.

Oh of course, yeah.

No, one's more desperate than She's.

Not even desperate to be on TV.

She's desperate in chance.

Yes, you like you, I mean you must read.

I loved her personally, I do like a woman on.

The edge, oh beyond, I mean she's past the edge, just like she ran off the edges, just running in.

Mid air at this like the road runner.

Yes, she and the Osmond guy, that is she coming back?

I wonder she better?

Basically, Well, she released something the other day, of course that she was like in a shocking twist, and she used the word chalking like we have broken up, And I'm like, nobody is shocked.

Miss her and the Osmond.

We all assumed they had broken up.

I know, but she was like, it's shocked.

She literally used word chalking, and I was like, to whom.

They're gonna they're probably already back together.

No, what is what is the actual like day to day of that relationship?

I wonder I can't eat talking on the phone.

Are they texting or is she just like driving by her.

House uncomfortable, especially because her kids are in, Like, like, forget the kids.

I know it's tough.

I will say she does have pipes, she can she could sing.

I don't know if you heard her singing like that part from Missigone.

I believe she did like a bus and truck tour Miss Gone and was a lead.

I mean she can sing.

The last I saw of Brittany was her like doing a video of herself walking through an airport holding like a margarita or something.

That's where she comes alive.

That's not her first and won't be her last.

I remember her like.

Kind of bumping a flight attendant and the person just looking so annoyed.

But uh, yeah, I love her.

I love Linda, I love I have a hard time with anybody's name on Secret Lives and one wise, but I've.

Been calling her girl.

Jeremy Taylor Frankie Paul is just like, how can you Taylor?

Frankie Paul, that's a starting.

Yes, I'm sorry.

She's the store.

And it's been a controversy on the show because my least favorite, who I hate to me, says she's a fan favorite.

When she was like, obviously I'm a fan favorite.

I was like to who again, to who, She's not even her husband's favorite.

He's a.

Ultimate creep.

He's rich, he's an elder compared to the rest.

Oh yeah, he met you know their store.

He met her when she was nine, that's so.

And he was married to my apology to the listener, who care's not a bit about any of this.

Sorry to your listeners, but.

This is interesting to you.

This would be interesting to everyone.

Yeah, a man named Brett is forty seven now he was when his current wife was nine.

They met and he was a full grown adult looking at the camera.

But you know this, And he was married to a woman who ended up on Real Households.

Yes, got rid of that lady because she sucks.

She was terrible, she.

Was a true boar.

Yeah, but now he's also been on the Bachelor.

I did not know that right before COVID this guy has got the fame bug.

He's taking all the pit stops, the absolute worst pit stops.

And then I haven't finished the season, but there are rumors that there's some cheating, and I keep saying he has a liar face.

He does.

Well, you also click on our podcast, and I don't mean to keep bringing up my podcast.

It's a very good podcast.

Well, but I don't want to like to.

You know, we're with your.

Pope, but we're talking, we're in your world a little bit, right, Well, very much.

But you coined the phrase which I'll never forget, which is Utah face, which all of a sudden everything, you know how like you look at like a monet and you just like you're like, oh yeah, and then all of a sudden it becomes clear and you see the art like that.

When you send Utah face, I was like, oh, it's all clear to me now I get it all.

But he has I would say, bachelor facere face.

Yes, fireface has bachelor.

Frace correct kind of like a I guess, like hunky hunky, but like right, but it's like not handsome, that's like there's any sexual appeal.

But it's like hunky in that like I get the appeal of the bat, like the Bachelor would be the place for it, but he's not attractive to camera ready, Like the bones are all they are an effect.

He's got a skull, but yeah, he's a creep.

His wife, to me, is a looser.

Yes, And I can't tell her and some of the other women apart, because they all visit the same plastic surgeon.

When I saw when I started watching, I was like, oh, this will be a funny bit that I like, I'll probably just keep it going that I don't know any of their names, and now it's just like, no, I actually there are at least three of them.

I'm like, any of them if you put them on camera, I just it would be like, that might be Macy.

Yeah.

The only one that is not is the one that they've like iced out, who has like short hair and she's Whitney.

Whitney.

She's the only one where we're like, oh, she looks different from the other because she.

Doesn't have the extensions.

Yes I have.

The show has layers.

It's an onion.

It's an onion.

And I'm sorry again to your audience.

I'm so sorry.

I know this brings you know, we have.

We speak a common language and so it's hard not to speak our language when we're together.

There so much and I can't wait.

I have two episodes left.

And a listener did comment at one point early on in the season they said, the most evil thing they've ever seen on camera has been on I'm like, maybe my standards are maybe I just living in the gutter because I'm like waiting for the most evil thing I've seen, like a comfortable thing me.

Too, I don't.

I mean, we'll see.

I'm curious for you to finish.

There is work, my work, you know, it's the work is not complete.

So there is one one character, one cast member, who has said I can't be on the show because of mental health reasons.

I've never heard that, like I've never I was proud of her for her, but for Affleck, who is not an Affleck.

Jennifer Affleck.

That's been a big scandal.

She's been telling everyone that jen Affleck is reflated to Ben Affleck.

That apparently is not true true, but she, according to me, has been gas lit by the entire Affleck family.

I think they set her.

Up for a fall, you think so.

And her husband continues to be on camera talking about her mental health.

It's I'm impressed and proud of her for leaving that man, but then she came back, which is tough, and then for just taking herself out of reality TV for a mental you know, to recognize that, because a lot of people should probably recognize that in themselves.

And yet I think a lot of people recognize that and say, oh, this is even better the.

Show and she said no, I'm taking I was like, wow, wow, yeah, it's.

But the Zach, Yeah, he just keeps kind of wearing neck.

He's the white witch.

He did cut his hair.

It doesn't look like a witch anymore.

But uh, he tried to leave her over her maybe sing a Chippendale show.

I mean, I was like, talk about something that is so unsexy.

I myself have been to chippendales and oh there was a one in Fort Laudert called Labert.

La bet b e a r or b a r e labt bet.

It was French, of course, very classy.

But I visited bad establishment back in the day.

No, they're not.

They're like they're like, oh, they're like a Joe, you know what SA's.

Like going to a all you can eat buffet or like it's tacky and.

Table side Caesar, you know you're there for the roll.

Yeah, it's just like it's a show, like it's.

Not going to be He's treating it like she had a baby with another man.

He's treating it like she got like like it's I've never seen like, it's like she's watching a goof.

It's a chill.

They start to refer to it as a prank.

Oh no, there's other things.

Oh, I mean, my apologies, I can we should we changed the subject?

Change the subject?

What else is going on outside of watching other people's lives fall apart on screen?

What else is going on?

My I just returned from the continent.

Oh, I went to Europe.

Oh where in Europe?

I went to Venice, where I've never been Bethos, but of course I was there.

Yeah, I was all there.

I was invited, of course, and attended.

Both had to be there.

I had to.

No, I went to Venice before, like right before.

The people of Venice.

Were like, I'm not so annoying.

Yeah, they were just like And then I went to Paris and the south of France.

I've never been to any of those places before, so it was a sort of a dream trip.

It was I've been planning this for a while.

I have I have not traveled as much as I would like in my life.

And so it was Venice.

Does it smell?

I don't think so, what makes you think so?

Just kind of like.

The water of it it.

Is sinking, Okay, but I and they even had their like yeah, in the winter, like all the doors have like these kind of like steel traps, and no one lives on the bottom floor of their places.

During the winter, all the places flood.

Oh, I'm familiar with the flooding home.

That was a big theme on this podcast for a while, My house flooding over and over.

Well, you should, you should talk to people of Venice.

They really sound a solution.

I'm very Italian in that way, Yes you are.

And then also what I didn't know is like Venice is empty.

I mean there's tourists, okay, Taurus is huge, right, but the city itself is like the medium age is like seventy five.

Wow, it's kind of a retirement.

Yeah, because there's all these old places and nothing can afford to be fixed.

And in order to sell your place there you have to fix it up, but no one can afford to and a lot of these people leave their homes to the church or whatever when they die, and the church shockingly can't afford to fix it.

So it's just like all airbnbs and like older people.

It's so sad because you see a lot of it like closed up, and it is such a beautiful old city.

But I guess because it's sinking, people don't want to invest.

I don't know.

It's a lost call it is, I.

Don't know, but it's cool.

I loved it.

It was so beautiful.

I'm such a history not so I took like tours and talked about.

The history and crawling with SS.

Yes, just or not.

They're just in their apartments.

They're like, it's just tourists and like seniors waving from the window.

Did you see Ripley the TV show?

I started to I love look I got to finish it.

I loved the movie.

Okay.

I started the show because nothing could be better to me than Ripley.

Uh you know what's his name?

Who?

Starting?

And Scott?

Who is the most gorgeous man that has ever end?

Andrew?

Reach out?

Please?

What are you waiting for?

Andrew?

You have two people here?

Then just love to talk to you.

One of them watched the show, one of them, and one of them appreciates your work, and it moved so slow to me.

Danielle, how far in did you get one episode?

I was like this, and God bless it's beautiful.

It is so gorgeous it is.

But I was like, you just get onto a plot.

Get watch two more episodes the show.

That's three hours of my life when I could be watching Mormon women yelling at each other, like what.

Three episodes and you'll be into the rhythm.

It's not slow, it's deliberate.

That's what I tell you.

You just made it so much worse.

I've seen it twice.

I saw it two times within the course of eight weeks.

That's like me with like garbage Watch, I'm like, oh, I really need to watch Ladies of London again.

Ladies of London.

I've never heard of this.

It's a reality show from LA.

I mean, I guess I can kind of imagine or.

Me watching like Hey Paula, Hey Paula, what's the heck another reality?

Wow, you need to write a book.

You should have a whole encyclopedia of all the garbage.

I wh great.

Idea you you should write the garbage Encyclopedia.

I know we really need to garbage Pedia.

I know we've been you know, it's like we Casey actually writes real books.

So you know, I don't know, but she could dabble in.

Trash, dabble in trash.

No, it's it's a good idea, you know what.

I'm stealing it and I'm not going to give it forward.

Yes, when I thought of this book and.

Gave it to Denial, and you give me zero dollars from.

It, let me write at least a blurb when it.

Comes to yours.

I will let you write anything you want.

I pay you for those things, but.

You put me in court.

Yes, you'll pay me after your lawyer's case.

But no, I loved Venice.

I've never been there, and I was just I started crying.

We got it late at night, so you know, we take a water taxi straight to our tail, but I can't see anything.

And then I wake up the next morning and I literally walk out onto like what is it Saint Mark's Square?

And I started crying, Oh my god, because I was just so like blown away by how gorgeous, how old, how important it felt like I just it was.

I literally started crying.

And I was with my daughter and she was like, did she have a good time?

She loved it, She had the best time.

Yeah.

And she's she's eleven now, and she's a really good traveler, and so it was, you know, fun to take her and take her a place that she you know, just you know, to see the world.

I think I never got to you as a girl.

I didn't really travel either.

We went to Florida, and then we moved to Florida, so there was nowhere to go.

So so I didn't go anywhere.

Where were you in Florida?

I grew up in sort of Palm Beach area, Fort Lauderdale kind of area, and so yeah, we moved there, so then where was there to go?

Yeah?

Would just stay here.

Then one thing, one other thing about Venice the I just want to talk a moment about the invitation to the wedding.

Did you see that?

It looked like worse than mine?

It looked like they made it on paperless.

They didn't say no gifts.

They did people.

Yeah, a ton of listeners are like they ripped you off.

They ripped you absolutely.

How rude.

That's who you should sue.

Yeah, I should see them separately, right, Lauren and.

Jill, what did you think of?

What were your thoughts on the invite?

It looked like it was made on paperless posts, like somebody and you can make a decent looking invitation on paperless but this was like somebody that was just learning.

It was like you just opened it, opened paperless posts and it was just the first thing that was presented to something.

Was it Lauren's like fourth assistant that was just like new They're like, can you just make an invite?

Like we've already told people by mouth, but like can you just like get on canva?

And I actually don't think it was Laura in herself.

You think so, I think that an assistant would do better work.

Thank you.

I think it was like because she's like not in MILLENNIU.

She's like gen X, so she's not like in those spaces.

She was like, I want to I want to put my personal touch on the wedding and it blew up in her face.

Boy did she That invite was sad and I want to be like like no gifts.

Like no, come on whatever?

Like I think she thinks she's important, yes, like like we are, We're not asking for gifts.

It's like, you better not.

You're fucking Amazon.

You can get like, what are you in a register in Amazon?

Look at our wish list?

Did she go to space?

Yes, okay, I mean it's like space adjacent.

People say I live in Beverly Hills like adjacent.

Yeah, I guess you kind of went to.

Yeah, a suburb further.

Yeah, she just went like the we're gravity.

Right, Culver City or something.

I was just embarrassed for everybody at all, Like it literally broke up Katie Perry and or.

Broke them.

Why did we think it broke it up because he wanted to go to space as well?

Or he was so.

Humili he was so humiliated.

And again I don't know these people.

I was.

I was shocked about Gail King.

Gail, she didn't even want to do it.

Why did she do it?

Which for her journalism?

Like she was expecting to learn something new.

I don't know, but I was so shocked and sort of like saddened.

I was like, Gail, I respect you.

This feels like insane.

She'say, somebody had a gun to her head a publicist or that.

I don't know.

I just was I couldn't believe it.

Yeah.

Also, I couldn't believe Oprah went to Jeff Bezos's wedding.

I can you can't.

Are you kidding me?

Oprah?

I know Oprah?

I mean, what is there to say?

I just I love her, you know, I've loved her child.

We would like to think that she knows better.

Yeah, but she simply does.

But who am I to you know, I get up on my eye horse, but you know I'm still buying things on Amazon.

We're all We're all as guilty as Oprah going to che faces as well.

We are complicit.

You know.

It's like I just bought some stuff on Amazon recently, So who am I?

We're trapped.

Oprah's not trapped.

He's not trapped.

Oprah doesn't have to save money, I know.

But some people are like, I don't even chop on Amazon, and I'm like, okay, then I'm complicit, Like I know.

So there are so many things where I'm like, I want to get off of every one of these things.

But when I'm on them all and I'm stupid.

Yes, and sometimes I need that shampoo now I don't have it at my pharmacy.

Well, you know, speaking of making horrible choices and uh you know, being guilty.

Et cetera, knowing better.

I was excited to have you here on the podcast, Daniel.

I was looking forward to you coming today.

I thought, we'll have a nice time, well chat.

You know, no one will step on anyone's toes.

It'll be as beautiful and as tasteful and as elegant as a Bezos wedding.

Yes, so I was a little surprised when you came trotting in.

Uh tacky as hell.

The podcast is called.

I said no gifts, and you were holding a gift.

I am.

I was bred right.

You don't show up empty handed.

I've never been to a party without at least bringing a bottle of wine.

Okay, interesting, And I don't respect people who come not bearing a gift.

And when you say and just like the Bezos, when you say no gifts, we know you mean gifts.

Interesting.

Do you think anyone took a gift to that wedding?

Yes?

I did.

I told you I was there.

I brought them some ladles, you know.

I went to the cellar, Macy's the cellar, and I just went wild.

Talk about supermarket.

You were talking about wanting to do a supermarket sweep.

I want to do a sweet or a shopping site.

Yes, nothing could be better, you know, but Amazon killed that and.

That they didn't kill that.

Amah, So I will.

Say I raided the cellar and I got them gifts, and I say with you, I'm not gonna come empty handed.

That's just rude.

You want people say gifts or the worst is when they're like, instead of a gift, donate to this charity.

Fuck.

You don't tell me what to do.

Don't tell me where money.

You don't ate to that charity?

Bitch, you like charity so much, you use your money.

Don't get married, put it towards the charity and go to the Justice of the peace.

You fucking holier the mouth.

For your wedding.

Yeah, how much did you spend on that?

D you donate that to charity?

Just the photo shoot all own?

Yes, I don't need this.

Break the videographer.

Well, should we open the gifts here on the podcast?

I thought you didn't want it.

I didn't say I didn't want it.

You said no gifts.

I threw some things in your face and let you deal with it.

Okay, open it.

I would love to open it gay and talk about the packaging.

It's in a gorgeous, cute little bag.

It's a green polka dot bag, white polka dots with the.

Yellow Do you expect that back?

Because I need to regift.

I'll carry this to your car, thank you.

This is obviously from another gift.

At some point, probably you think of I've never bought a bag either.

All the moms and my daughter like we just exchange bags.

Yeah, I the only time I've ever bought bags was when we were doing this over zoom and you know the magic of entertains.

Yes, okay, it's a very springtime.

Okay, let's open this up.

Okay, reaching, Oh my god.

I know what it is.

It's a laboo, well or not?

I think it's a la fu.

Wait, it's a lad that's a fake laboo boo.

Where do you get alfu?

Well, most places, because los are hard hard you can't get one.

You have to like wait for a drop, and as an adult, simply can't.

Will not participate in a drop either, will I?

There is no item outside of I guess I waited for the vaccine.

Yes, that was the one drop.

That I will I also waited in line years ago before I had like kids, was I waited to the Barefoot contests.

I waited outside were to meet her and to get her book.

It was like a signing, and I will say it was like a William snowman.

They gave us like food on the line.

Oh, so this is a different experience.

It's when I see adults waiting outside like pop shop or any of those places, I'm like, y'all, no, no, we can't be.

But for these people, I mean, it's and I refuse to So it's most what I've heard they've been doing with the lafoofoos is they gather all these little boo boo box So.

That box is a laboo boo box, a.

Laboo boo box, but I don't know of what's inside is lafufu or la boo boo?

And there are ways you can tell.

And where do you where did you buy that?

I mean, where did it come from?

On a little store in these places are just going around getting the boxes or buying the boxes and reselling the.

Laboo boos, or they're someone who's selling the boxes with the fake and I've heard their signs, so we can actually see if it's a lab boo boo.

Or a lofay.

Let's open it up.

I'll know immediately.

Okay, let's see even the tape like, how is the tape type is like?

That feels that feels definite?

Lef put it in the canter that that is?

That is tape hole there.

Yeah, this is mom like last minute wrapping a gift.

This is not.

But I would say the box so you can make a lafu.

Oh I could, But now I've ripped it because because this is where you're supposed to reopen.

You know, as a a booboo expert, I know that the terror top.

Yeah, as you can see, that is not.

I'm going to open it like a real la Boo book owner.

No, this is okay, well I don't know what's inside.

I mean this is now.

They still they know, they know what they're doing.

Real, this is I mean if this isn't real, these people are going out of their way.

They do because they can make a lot of money.

There's the love that is.

Look how crazy it's all uneven.

The tag is wrong.

It doesn't know that is that is it's shedding.

It already sheded in your ear.

I've already inhaled half of the fur on it.

This is probably that feels it looks there's some shoddy works.

This is let's see now, this is the monster on the Yeah, but there it's wait is it laboo is labooboo the monsters?

There's different versions of it.

I know this because my daughter was desperate for a Laboo boo and I went like online.

I didn't even do the drop because I was like, I will not participate in this, Like I'm an adult and this is garbage and I won't do that for you, sweetie.

I was like, I love you, but this is not something to engage in.

It's not anything.

I was like, if it presents itself, I will buy it there, yes, but I'm not going to chase this high.

So finally she's like, look, mom, it's on the site.

It's because this place called PopMart.

And I'm like, okay, this is legit.

I even like overspent a little bit.

Bought it.

It took three weeks to come sure from China.

Okay, And she opens it up and she's screaming she's so happy, and then her friend's are just like they knew, they knew, and they said they were like signs and stuff.

And then she started looking it up.

She took it like a cham wow.

But she you know how humiliating.

So for both of you.

Both the Labo boos are signed by.

Who they're not signed.

It's not like a cabbage Patch kid and Xavier Robert.

Yes, no, I think that there are certain signs like it's like the body parts don't move.

Oh yeah, this is this is moving full exorcis.

And then there's like a special tag like there but you can't but they wait that they box them insane.

Same with the one that I got her.

Wow, what a conn.

This whole thing is.

Sorry.

I tried to get to a La Boo Boo, but I knew.

That I'm I prefer a lafu fu.

That's what I said.

You love a fake fake burkin.

Yes, all that, Uh, you know I get everything on Canal Street and this.

I mean if you had told me this is a laboo, I would have I wouldn't know.

You can tell me the fact that the face is so uneven.

It's fair, I mean, it's they're kind of all laboos are a little sinister, yes, but this one is evil.

This one, this one will kill your friends and families when you go to sleep at night.

Where did look like everything in my life?

I feel like I'm just like so far outside of pop culture at all times that like something will just suddenly be every I feel like everyone on Earth gets a newsletter, but me just being like this is what's happening.

Don't tell Bridger for a few months.

Let him find out late.

Right, and so like yeah, I feel like I'm late to la boo boos.

I wouldn't know, you know, I as a parent, this has become You've.

Got a little bit about so pipeline to then.

You know, Casey called me.

Casey is in England for work right now, and so she texts me the other day because she knows as a parent, like this is sweeping the kind of nation.

But again there's like adults.

Of course, if you go to PopMart at the Glendell Galleria, there's a line out.

Seeing any eleven year olds out there.

No, it's all a thirty five and unemployed.

Yes, and people are putting them on like their fancy bags now and stuff like you will see like a woman with a Gucci bag and a laboo boo hanging off.

It's this weird and I feel like it's now like hit its apex, Like I didn't know about this a month ago and now it's all I know about.

And by the time this is released, everyone's gonna want these off of their bed.

Be like, I'm such a fucking door.

I know, but so I'm not.

I refuse, like I get angry about like sort of uh some of this stuff.

I'm just like, I don't want to have to subscribe to this.

I like, I get so mad at society as a whole.

I don't know why.

It's just like and so I reject it completely.

But when you have a kid, you sort of like, I reject some stuff.

But it was her graduate and it was also her graduation present from from elementary, so that's very sweet.

But so I was like, sorry, you got a fake but she really has like been like I like it better good for her her.

Yeah.

Yeah, she had a great attitude about it because I was like, I'm so like, I don't know.

And then I blamed her.

I was like, you gave me a sight huge family, it's like to your fault.

I blamed and el year old.

I was like, you sent me the site.

I didn't know.

I don't know what's going on here.

Wow, So but we don't know.

Was it just like something that PopMart put on TikTok and suddenly people were like, I gotta have.

This, And I think I don't know for sure, but I believe that they withhold drop set.

I just can't be a part.

Of that artificial what do they call it?

Yeah, like a need or like like create a demand?

Yes, And I just can't be a part of that.

Oh, I'm just like And also it reminds me syny and I.

My daughter and I one time were in Target and we were like, what what is this line for?

We thought it was just like the line to the register and I was like, oh, is this the line to the registrant?

Like forty year old men were online being like, oh no, there's a new drop of the new Pokemon.

Like I can't.

I can't wait.

There's nothing that's worth waiting in line for.

I just like I'm trying to think of anything I would want to and like.

My husband used to always say, if I have, like because we used to live New York City and there will be people outside of clubs, No, I cannot.

I will never wait to get inside of a club.

I will never do that.

There is nothing less appealing to me, like and it feels like the opposite of being in a club.

I know, you're just online to a pathetic.

Old or hot and.

I never did that.

That was not And I lived in New York City, but I you.

Know, huge amounts of people do it.

I know, but it was just not part of my There's no chance.

And I guess I've never hung out at the cool places too, so that's probably right.

See, I'm never like out for the la boo boos of social entertain.

You got to try this new club?

That was never my personality.

I was always like, could be you think that good time?

Really?

Oh yeah, I think it's not.

Even with my bad back, even with my tap dancing knee injury, for my old you know that tendon that's gone from that old performance of anything goes like that's that gonna hold up on the club line?

I think so?

I think.

So.

Did you have a toy like as a kid that like was super in demand.

My mother got in a fight over a cabbage patch kid.

Well, like, we were living in Atlanta at the time.

Grew up in Atlanta, and this is when cabbage patch kids.

Were all the races, right.

And my mother I remember like going to the rich Way store, which was or service merchandise, which was and like braving not getting in a fight, but like braving the and like pulling one off for me for my cousins, and I wow, good for her, and I wanted it so bad, like it was I'll still remember her name.

It was Susannah Courtney.

Okay, very good name and uh and.

I remember I made one at one point before, like my mom took me to Judy Jacob's art class and you go make and I you know, this is when I couldn't get you know.

It's like because before the Cabbage Patch kids, there was a less affordable option and called adoption dolls, and they were one hundred dollar dolls.

They were like yeah, and they had like I think like cloth faces, where the Cabatretch kid had plastic faces.

But the adoption dolls were bigger.

And my girlfriend had gotten one from her parents and my parents were like, and my dad's like, I'll get you one.

And then he took me to the store and was one hundred dollars and he's like, we're going home.

That will not be happening.

Yeah, one hundred dollars for a doll or a doll that probably didn't talk and this was.

In the eighties in the back.

Yeah exactly.

So this is like, can you imagine?

So my Mom's like, I will take you to Judy Jacob's art class and you can make it yourself what you do.

And I went to this art class and I made one.

I named her what did I name her?

Linda Lee?

Middle names too.

And she was made out of pantyhose whoa, and like stuff cotton and then you like sew hair on and she looked she was.

A mess, very folk art.

Yeah she was.

She was garbage.

She was a mess.

You painted on the eye.

Oh sorry, you painted on the eyes with some you know, acrylic paint, and you put like doll clothes, you know, baby clothes on them and they were huge and sort of mouthformed.

How long did that last?

Until I got Susannah Courtney and away she went the way of the doll.

Trash.

Yeah, goodbye, Linda Lee.

You can see yourself out, I said, good day, Linda Lee me while Susannah Courtney is like, huh oh, Linda, nobody wants you anymore?

Yeah.

I Uh.

My sister had one.

I remember.

She wanted to name it Maggot.

And that's when my mom was like teaching her about names.

You can't name a doll maggot.

Also, they already come with a name.

They come with a name, just come with a name.

Not in the winding households.

You get to name that thing if you want to name it after a baby.

Bug, Maggot.

How's your sister doing today, Jesus in jail?

Okay, well.

No, I think it ended up getting the name got soft into like a Margo children.

She's got three children, Maggot, Maggot two and Meggot three.

Okay, she It is a gorgeous name, conjures a beautiful image and decay gorgeous.

I'm sure this is like well Troden Territory.

I'm sure people have discussed this before.

But Kevin Patch dolls were so the butt was signed.

By Xavier Roberts, theeur, the creator.

You could not release that product now like that, Like can you imagine like it is?

I mean it's I don't know ifs are still signed.

I don't know.

That is creepy, very pert about.

Well, there's the Cabbage Patch patch you can go to outside of I think it's in like Delanaga, Georgia, where you could there's like the place where they're born from, and you can like pull it from.

The patch wet.

I don't think that they deliver them wet, but I don't know.

But that place still exists.

It's kind of like the original American Girls store.

I'm actually, you know, I when I when my daughter was into American Girl for a minute, I never got a real one again.

I just I really as a pattern I have to look at.

I got her the Target one because I was like, this is ridiculous.

She will grow out of this and it's really expensive, and it's like I just couldn't and she doesn't know the difference.

Well according to.

Me, but I will tell you, going into that American Girl doll store gives me a like gives me a tingle.

It's something in me, same as like Barbie, like going into a Barbie section of a toy store like something in a nostalgia like I loved this stuff and so like I wish I was young enough where it's not weird, right collect dolls and play with them.

I've got news for you for living in a world and that's it's totally normal, but it's not.

It's not.

I'm sorry, Get in line down with the American girls, so no one will blink up.

I know when I see like they have like the hairdressers there and like the tea.

Like there's a part of me that wants all the dolls and all the clothes and oh, look she's surfing.

She can surf, and like, oh she opens her own malt shop.

You know, like these are something goes on in my brain.

Right, did you.

Go to the cafe, the American Girl Cafe?

Do they allow the target a girl Target girl into the American Girl Cafe?

They do, but I was worried about that, But I.

Was worried generous of them.

I was worried when we went there because like what if they know and they don't let us in, and then she'll know what I've been up to.

The d the Target girls come with like a history or like a little like book about them, or it's like this one works at the cash register.

Or like this one was in the depressions, or you know, like the dolls of history or whatever.

You have through different eras of Target probably starting in like nineteen seventy eight.

Yeah, no, that would I would buy those.

Of course, love to know what Target girl was in the eighties or whatever.

But no they don't.

But I was worried about that at and I and my daughter.

There's also like the salam where you can get their hair fixed and her her her target doll's.

Hair was but Noah, probably highly flammable just.

And like you know, you you take it out on the town just once and like doesn't go back like it's you know, there are downsides to the target doll.

How are they doing there?

It's like synthetic hair.

Yeah, but I guess you know, how do we all do?

There's synthetic hare lives and Mormon wives currently you think all those girls have real hair?

Like no, head on down to jay Z's Styles.

Say Styles talk about the z Kavarecci of Saloons.

And they have an academy.

Like the beat Outs as soon.

I love seeing like the moms going in and like buying hair like it was.

I mean, I could have a time in jay Z Styles.

I could have some time.

I've got to go.

You should get extensions because I know we've both been I would like that for you.

If jay Z Styles will pay for my extensions, I will wear them for six months.

I will.

I will pay for your extension if your.

You're not going to get it from Jazy Styles.

You'll get it from Target or you'll order them from a website.

I've given myself away and I've been exposed.

But you know you and I have both been to Beauty Lab.

And Lazy of course, I've been there so many I love for you to.

Go to jay Z Styles next and if you could document it and then send.

Do have you had any work done at Beauty Lab?

No, I've just had the pictures taken over.

I don't have time, and you know my people.

Are, yeah, you got right.

I feel like I'm going to go this time and they're gonna be like, sir, you've got to do.

You've got to buy.

You've had fifteen pictures in our estaff I buy a cream.

I don't know, buy like a soda out of the fridge.

I think they have Red Bulls or something.

I know you've been.

You've been to some of those soda spots that they.

Go only going to one swig.

Now I'm going.

Back when you're going to Swig.

I'm gonna go there this weekend, Utah on the fifth.

I'm so jealous.

What's your poison?

I don't know.

I tried like their Founders Special or whatever, you know, some so sweets.

I got like the diet version too, and it was just like I made it probably a tenth through the drink, and I was like, well, I'm unfortunately this.

My body can't consume any more of this.

And I'm not like a health not I'm I eat pure garbage all the time.

So it's, uh, the fact that I can't handle that is so I'm going to try to be.

Our dentist making a killing.

Oh, there are so many dentists in your town.

I think there's like a there is an interesting thing where it's like it's a safe career, like a safe like normal man career.

And we're also like not going to grow out of needing dentistry, like it's not something that we'll always need.

It, and it's like kind of doctor a Jason.

I don't think it's there's as much schooling needed.

Uh.

And then there's all of the sweet consumption in Utah.

So I think those things come together to being like this is the dentist capital of Earth.

It's got to be.

And I also bet that there's like a lot of diabetic clinics.

Oh.

Interesting because of the sugar that I don't.

I don't.

I didn't know that many diabetics in so yeah, I.

Wonder give it time talking some type two.

I mean I should be diabetic.

Okay, we all should, but I will say, like that's so much sweet.

Oh yeah, I mean maybe.

Yeah, the swig now that that's new there that you can.

Read it in like ten years, really get a swig effect.

I would you.

I would invest in pick and axe, picks and shobble.

What's that that dialysis centers get to.

That's a great idea of this.

And make it kind of an elevated.

Like a dry bar for you know, like when you go into like make it fun, make an elevator, make it, make it cute, have like a neon sign instead of like get the lips, like get the get the juice, get the soda, life and short, get the soda.

I think that's not the worst idea.

I don't either.

Again, I'm giving you this idea the way you give me the book.

We'll sell your book.

The people can read the book while they're on dialas.

Wow, we could we could wrote Heather Gay into this, hun Heather reach out.

I feel like Heather reach out.

Look, this is you know this could be right next to beauty lab for you know, uh.

Get your lips, get your dialogs.

Maybe at the same time, I.

Love this, we're thinking business.

Look, this is my bas is crumbling.

The entertainment industry I wouldn't even say is crumbling.

I would say is crumbled.

There's nothing left.

There are like coyotes eating.

Yes, we're like the carcass has been.

Let's talk about maggots.

Oh my god, maggots wouldn't eat the entertainment.

So what we need to pivot?

But pivot to dialysis and.

A dentistry and dentistry.

I don't know.

I think that these are there are options.

At least we know that there's hope.

Yeah.

I like, finally today we.

Found hope through We found hope in a really hopeless place in a dialysis.

Wow, I'll just call it kidney.

I love that.

Maybe with U K I d N I.

I love this.

I really believe've got so dialysis works right, it's works with your kidneys.

Don't I can't get bolts.

I can't get into the nuts and bolts here.

That's somebody else's job.

That's not our Well on a Lisa, if you're there, let us know how dialysis works.

Yeah, I think we're I feel like flashing the blood.

Is this the darkest podcast you've ever done?

And I'm sorry if you do.

I have relatives with diabetes.

We're just talking about the sugar intake.

The sugar intake, and you know dialysis is important, which is why I'm ready to open a mini chain throughout the solt.

Why shouldn't it be fun, is what I'm saying.

Yeah, why shouldn't it be fun?

In floy Yeah, I would be getting a pedicure, That's what I'm saying.

Like, let's and why can't you while you're getting dialyses?

It should be done by like blonde twenty year olds who are having a time of their life.

Great music, great tune, right right.

So dialysis essentially it does filter the blood because your kidneys can't.

So it's like in there we can.

So that's okay, thank you.

And so the neon sign is because your kidneys can't cool pink curs.

We can when your kidney.

Yes, I like this, I love it.

We've got I mean again, this is a recorded audio.

So for legal reasons, I can sue you, You can sue me, we can sue the listener.

Yeah, we can sue Heather Gay.

It's gonna be World War four.

Let's just be honest.

I'm very excited about that.

Now.

Is there anything left to say about La Boo Boo?

I would just say, you know, when ordering a La Boo Boo, check your sources.

Your sources.

You can be scammed.

You can be scammed.

I literally the site I was on, what it smelling?

It poison?

It smells perfectly clean, but maybe it's too clean.

Yeah, it want smell like The site I was on literally said PopMart.

But I think there was probably like an extra asterisk in there, something you know and like, and it took too long.

And when I would go to PopMart, I would be like, well it says here that there's no more left?

Did I get the last one?

F Like I my computer shuts down every time I go to the website.

I know, like there were red flags and I chose not to see them because my daughter was so excited.

So you really, like, I don't think there's an easy way to get these, So know that if you want a real one, like, you can't take these.

Gotta be care for.

No, that's a I mean, like all good things you have to put in the work.

Yeah, and just because it's in a pop Mark's bag, which is in a pop Mark box.

That doesn't mean it any means because this looks very official to.

And that is I believe the box is the only thing that's real.

Wow, I mean, and what does that even mean?

That doesn't mean anything?

Right, like, but I will.

I'm seeing that they have names saying he he se, sissy, dadas zz.

Or hey, this is were they I assume this.

Is the closest.

Well it's none of them.

Well there there's this this is secret.

Which I assume this is this brand that la Fufu is probably always secret.

Because you're not seeing that labuobu on the box.

No, the closest match, I would say is daw Da, but it's not.

It doesn't have the hard eyes.

There's zz baba, So that's.

Another way, like if it doesn't because you should be getting they're blind boxes, so you do a lot of times, don't know which.

I can't eat that sort of thing too, What a scam.

It's gambling, I know.

But kids love a blind box like my daughter's love gambling.

Yes, they do, teaching them early, so just know that like so that's another red flag when the one that is in the box isn't on the box right right.

And also something else I'm learning is a laboobo would sit up.

Yeah, it's very uneven.

It's a laf It's a lafu foo.

This is a certified lafufoo.

But eventually these will be more rare.

That's what I'd like to hope.

That's what my daughter said.

You and my daughter are similar.

And yeah, I mean you cannot get this lafoo foo to sit.

No, it's now being leaned up against a computer.

A la boo boo can stand on its own.

Yeah, la buoba can walk and slap you across the face.

Sorry, I wanted to give you a la boo boo.

You got me better.

Thank you.

Lafufu secret Lafufu.

Well, I think we should play games.

Okay, I need a number between one and ten from you.

I'm going to go six.

Okay, We're to play a game called Gift You a Curse.

Okay, but before.

We play, I have to do some like calculating so you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want with the microphone.

I'll be right back.

I just want to promote Casey and Danielle's Garbage World.

It is our basically podcast empire where you can find Casey and I's Casey Wilson and I's podcast Bitch Sesh.

We've been we're just about to celebrate ten years or did we just celebrate ten years?

I'm like, I don't even know, but we're on our podcast Bitch Sash.

We talk about, you know, all the Bravo shows, Real Housewives and all the like, and also any sort of garbage television you could want.

And then we have a second podcast called Garbage Sash where we deep dive on other such you know, trash that we're into.

And then we also have a Sex and the City podcast that Matt McConkey does.

Well, it's really actually and just like that podcast, and it's called in just like Matt.

All of that on Casey Daniell's garbage World dot com.

That is worth checking out.

I love, we love when you're on Okash.

I'm on whenever sal like City Zone.

Well, we'd have you more cities, but that seems to be the only one I watch.

So you are our official correspondent.

I'm kind of come on as more of a professor, expert I.

Love that for you and I can't wait for next season.

Oh my god.

Okay, this is how we play Gift or a Curse.

I'm going to name three things.

You're going to tell me if there are a gift or a curse and why?

Okay, and I'll tell if you're right or wrong because there are correct answers there are, and you can totally flop, you can bomb out in.

A huge way, so be careful.

Okay.

These are all suggestions from our Patreon listeners.

Thank you to all of you.

This first one is from Clark.

Gift or a Curse washing down medication with a carbonated drink curse?

Why when you have medication?

Water is the simplest way.

I feel like the soda dilutes it.

I don't like that.

And also yeah, it's like it's you shouldn't mix your your drugs wrong.

What that's a gift drink and doing it with water?

What a bore?

What an absolute boar?

Why not?

And you know you're usually take your pills in the morning or night.

Why not a little soda?

That's discussing a diet coke.

Sugar?

Oh?

Absolutely?

And I feel like the water is too smooth of an experience.

We've all had that before.

We've all done water and pill water and carbonated drink.

Now there's I prefer I love.

So in the morning, like me when I'm taking my SSRI, I would have to take a swig of a of a pop.

You reach over to the nightstand, get your orange soda which is always e and h slurp it down.

Gifts absolutely gifts.

Disagree wrong, Okay, so zero so far.

Number two.

This is from Rachel gift or a curse.

Mistakenly trying to get into a car that.

Is not yours.

I've done it many times, especially when I had a silver Honda Civic.

Oh boy.

Then I was constantly like I would just walk out to the grove and be like, I don't know.

It is a curse.

Why because you can't find your car like it's it's it feels confusing, and then you you think something is absolutely your car, and then you're like, but I don't own that weird jacket that's in the back seat, you know what I mean, You're like, that's I didn't.

Also, with grocery carts, when you take someone else's grocery cart and you're like, I didn't get asparaguess, it's the same to you more than i'd like about the same grocery store menace.

And then sometimes I put my things in the other person's cart and they're like, what what's happened to my card?

You're blindfolded.

I'm just moving too quick, So I'd say it's a curse.

It's embarrassing.

Wrong again, Danielle, Oh my god.

Who decides if I'm wrong?

Your listeners?

Are you universal truths?

That's very clear.

Objective truth is answering.

Why is that a good?

It's a gift?

First of all?

Okay, so first of all, what a fun little peek into another person's car, an innocent peek into seeing what's happening in another person's car who owns the same car as you.

So you're like, well they made this choice.

Are they making different choices elsewhere other than me?

Or are we similar?

Second of all, chance at a you know, a meet cute you know, you turn around the actual owner of the cars are now you get to have a fun conversation about how you're not stealing.

Their car calling the police.

Well, if they are, then you're filming them for a future viral video.

I got you look at this, you know, loser trying to send me off to the cops.

So those are two good reasons.

And third reason, I think I'm probably on record for loving the experience of you know, when you like during Halloween Thanksgiving time, there will be a pumpkin on the table and you go to pick it up and you go like this because you thought it was a real pumpkin, but it's actually a fake pump What a What a thrill?

I love that feeling.

This is kind of the year round of that.

You know what.

It's also terrible because then you have to like kind of talk to yourself.

Oh yeah, but you're like, oh, well that's not my car.

I have like talk out loud.

Oh yeah.

But like it's almost like when you trip in public, you're like, well that was that was weird.

It's like an out loud conversation to yourself.

That's why it's terrible.

No, that's why it's great and a learning experience and maybe the start of something exciting and romantic.

I don't like it.

Wrong, okay too.

Wrongs so far got I'm scared.

We're rooting for you to get this final one.

This is from Mallory Gift Her a curse.

Long naps in the evening.

Awful the worst because then first of all, you wake up feeling hungry and angry, and and like what time is it?

Is it six?

Especially in the fall, it's like, is it five o'clock or is it ten o'clock?

I don't don't know what time it is.

I feel crazy.

I don't know where I am in space and time.

And now when I want to go to sleep for reels at night, I'm not gonna be able to fall asleep.

It's the worst.

So gift or a curse.

It's a oh it's a gift.

I curse.

It's a curse.

Well, you sealed the deal, you lost the game completely.

Why is that a gift.

That's the worst thing ever.

Well, first of all, someone's not listening to their body.

If you need to take a nap, take it.

It doesn't matter what time of day.

I don't care.

If you just woke up and you feel like you need to take a nap, it's time for a nap.

I don't care.

If you're behind the wheel, it's time for a nap.

If it's six point thirty in the afternoon, I guess that's night early evening that's a perfectly fine time to take a nap.

You wake up and everything is so dark and you feel like you've just crawled out of a swamp.

But now the challenge to becoming a normal person for another two to four hours for the rest of your day.

It's a you know, maybe you maybe you need to wash down some pills with a soda.

I feel like you're just disagreeing with me.

To disagree, I'm on the side of your body.

I'm on the side of my body and the listener's body.

I feel like your body is wrong and you should go to the doctor.

So we've got a Republican on my body, my body, my nap, my.

Nap, my body, my map again, I will monetize it and you will sue me, and then it'll all come out in the wash.

Uh well, I mean, I hate to see you lose the game in not only a complete way, but also in kind of a bitter way.

Wrong.

You're wrong.

It's like when you lose Jeopardy just because you can't work the buzzer.

That is insane.

I would tackle Ken Jennings to the ground if I lost Sheppardy.

Ken, don't reach out.

You lost the game.

In a horrible way, and then you weren't even gracious about it.

Well, I'm not going to be because the answers were wrong, and I'm sorry.

Like, when you're right, you're right, and yeah.

When you're right, you're right, and unfortunately today you were completely wrong.

Disagree makes me sick.

To my This is I'm going to sue.

It's going to be a I mean, we're going.

To fool of me and yourself what you've done today.

I need a mirror for the podcast so I can hold it up when someone says something like.

That, Wow, we started off so well.

I know, I know this is tough.

We're going to be tied up in court for ka.

This is the final segment of the podcast, and hopefully we can at least come together on this.

This is how I said no emails.

People are writing in I said no email.

People are pathetic and desperate and gross and they need answers.

So they'll write into I said no gifts at gmail dot com, or they'll send in voice notes on a lease.

Well, maybe can drop in some of the rules about that later.

I can never they are they're begging for answers.

We help me answer a question I'll try.

I mean, yeah, who knows how you'll do.

I know obviously I can't be trusted.

Yeah, listener, take whatever Danielle has to say with a or just know I'm the truth.

Oh interesting, I'm the truth.

No, I'm the.

Truth on truth Social my favorite.

Okay, this is hello Bridger and Guest.

I need help deciding what to give my childhood best friend for her birthday.

It already passed, but she lives in Las Vegas while I'm in Minneapolis.

Well, okay, that's.

A two hour time difference, baby, so there's not too much pressure on getting things right on time.

Okay, I don't I disagree.

I still want to get her something, though, because I always have.

Here's the catch.

She is now twenty four years old and in a camper van with her boyfriend and cat.

They've been doing this for almost a year now.

They saved up, paid off all their debts, but this van gave away all their possessions, quit their jobs.

And took off.

Okay, what are are we running from?

So living in a van, you obviously can't have a ton of material possessions that are taking up virtually any amount of space.

I don't want to give her something that she will feel bad about having to get rid of because she just doesn't need or have room for it.

I also don't want to give her gift cards or cash because I want it to be a heart to be heartfelt and personal.

But I really want it to be something useful.

Well, choose a lane.

I know.

I'm like, Wow, you have a lot of prerequisites for this.

She is a rock climber, she paints and cross stitches, plays animal crossing on her switch, and generally lives a simplistic lifestyle.

I feel super conflicted, as you should please help me.

Thank you in advance.

That's from Abby.

Perfect health insurance.

Wow, that's not a bad idea.

I mean, she's putting her life in people's hands.

She's off the grid, she quit her job.

I worry.

Yeah, she's traveling through vague Vegas fan with her boyfriend.

Health insurance feels.

She was in Minneapolis, a perfectly lovely place, and she let it all go, and health insurance is not okay if that's too much.

First aid kit at.

First, Yeah, a first aid kit or like some you know, like essentials, like how I know if you're if you're cheapy and not going to do health insurance because you're not a good friend, right friend?

A really nice blanket, oh like really comfy cozy, right yeah on Amazon dot com.

One of these blankets that is neither too hot nor yeah.

Like a kind of like suirp a blanket like really like fuzzy, but also like comfy, a little bit of home in it.

It says you care, I love you in your You need a blanket to sleep and to cuddle with.

And I think a nice like a well made blanket, nothing you know, crappy, but just like a nice, well made blanket that you've picked yourself.

A blanket and a first aid kit, fire, extra English, sure, what things?

I'm sure this person she's twenty four.

She can't possibly have all of her bases covered.

No, definitely, what does she need?

Does a camper van I assume has some sort of shower soap.

Soap, A nice soap, A nice soap.

You don't really associate a camper van with a good like.

But not a bar, not a bar?

Where is that gonna go?

No, it's gotta be in a bottle.

You know.

It's a great gift that in my twenty I didn't learn this lesson in my early twenties and my husband, who was a bit older than me, was like, I don't care what you do.

How poor we are spend money on good toilet paper?

Oh yeah, oh yeah.

And one time I also had someone come and stay with me for a while, and the nice thing they did for me again in my twenties is bought me a shitload of nice toilet paper.

Oh that's so nice.

I don't know where you store it, but like good top of the van.

Yeah, like we're talking the Sharman, Like we're talking like the soft Bears, because like at your age, you're like stealing it.

From work, from the casino.

Yeah, exactly, And it's not the good stuff.

No, I think that's not a bad idea.

I feel like at some point on this podcast, and one gave me a portable bidet that's just under my sink waiting for me to own a camper van.

I guess day the first time in Europe and was like, what's this for.

I was like, it's to clean your bottom.

She was like, you do it.

No, that's a very European of you.

You have a portable bidet.

You had to have that in your camper van.

How about those little visors you.

Wear when you're gambling.

You know those great they're probably hitting the strip every day every day.

They're probably parked on the strip and with your names on him, with your.

Names on them.

There's a lot of fun gambling related things for the camper.

Let's go full Vegas with this that.

What about a trip to circus solet I'm going.

To go give you one further a trip to see Shanaia Twain.

Wasn't she in?

Does she have a residency right now?

She had a residence or maybe she did.

There are world class shows all over Vegas.

I saw Middler there ones at Middler Selene.

Is she still there?

I think she's gone.

I think Adella is gone.

I think Brittany is gone.

People are leaving Vegas, but they're also coming.

People have their residencies.

Look it up.

There's got to be something.

If Shui is there, that's the answer.

Yeah.

They pull up in the van with the dice swinging.

They've just washed themselves with the nice soap and are ready for an emergency with the first aid kit.

Again, this is if you can't get them health insurance exactly.

Is that's first?

That's first, At least check in with them and make sure they have health insurance.

Don't You could run twenty four and quit their job.

My gut, but.

That's not She opens a happy birthday card and says, do you have health insurance?

That's a good that's a great opening line.

Go well, abby, good luck to you and your friend mostly your friends.

I hope she's everything's okay too.

She does when you said, what are you running for?

Yeah?

Yeah, they are several states away from where they started in a camper van.

Good luck, good night, and good luck.

Well.

I have my lafufu.

You do in fancyer environments, I can kind of just wave it around and say it's a laboo boo.

And you would also hook it on your jeans.

People put a hook on it.

Can you imagine me wearing this like.

They hook them on their jeans.

Please, this is so like my carpet.

So it was like dog peek.

This is someone whose home is soaked in cat I.

Would like you to please promise me that you're gonna walk into Starbucks.

You're gonna go into all the things you need to do today with that hooked on to your bad and document it all.

It's gonna get caught in an escalator.

I'm gonna get sucked.

Into the escalator if you die, because your lab at the Galleria, and it's.

Gonna go in your in your death, in your you know, obituate that it wasn't even a la boo boo.

This is a la boo boo, and then it'll be even sadder.

That's the last line of my obituary.

It was not a la boo boo.

Well, Danielle, I've had a wonderful time with you.

Thank you for having me, thank you.

For being here, thank you for my laffu foo, and listener, the podcast is over.

It's over.

The show's over.

I'm in my lafoo foo and I'm off to have the best day of my life.

Things are turning around for me.

Everyone's going to show me the respect I deserve.

Finally, I love.

You, goodbye.

I Said No Gifts is an exactly right production.

Our senior producer is on Alisa Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday.

The theme song is by miracle Worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner.

You must follow the show on Instagram at I Said No Gifts that's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting.

And don't you want to see the gifts?

And I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear.

But you're a guess to my home.

You gotta come to me empty, And I said, no guests, your own presences presents enough.

I already had too much stuff.

So how do you dare to surbey me?