And I invited you here.

Thought I made myself perfectly clear.

When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty.

And I said, no, guests, your own presences presence enough.

And I already had too much stuff, So how did you dare to surbey me?

Welcome to I said, no gifts.

I'm pretcher wine girl.

It's eleven am.

I've already been to the Burbank Walmart.

It was a fine you know, unsettling and not at the same time.

The customer service was excellent.

They had a giant skeleton in the shape of a saber toothed tiger, which I feel like is a confused message for Halloween.

I don't know what we're talking about when we have it.

That's a museum piece, that's not Halloween.

I don't think that's going to take off like the other skeleton has.

But who am I to say?

I didn't really I didn't know the skeleton would take off.

Why was I at Walmart?

I had to return something.

It was my birthday last week and someone got me the wrong thing.

So now it's a whole journey.

But oh, I should talk about found coffee.

I haven't talked about Found Coffee in a long time.

It's an Eagle Rock, California.

They do not sponsor the podcast.

What I'm doing here is I'm secretly building up a bill for them.

Eventually we're gonna slam them with an advertising bill and then they'll be out of business.

But in the meantime, you should go.

I love Found Coffee.

The other well, speaking of Halloween, look at me go.

This is because I've had about five hundred milligrams caffeine already.

But on the way from Found Coffee, I noticed that our local car wash is now doing a haunted car wash.

I don't know what goes on in a haunted car wash, and I don't want to know, but that's a new option.

Everyone wants to get in on the Halloween game.

I don't know why it's bigger than Christmas At this point, I think you don't get a Christmas car wash.

It's not a bad idea Blaggio car wash or reach out.

What else is going on?

Oh the other thing, I'm still trying to figure out what's going on with Peter Teal and the Antichrist.

I don't know if I almost don't want you to google this because this could ruin your algorithm.

Do you say antichrist or antichrist?

Neither sounds right to me.

But Peter Teal is waging war on the Antichrist, and that's all I really know.

But thank you Peter.

Okay, well, oh, Patreon.

Of course we've got to mention Patreon Patreon dot calm slash.

I said, no, give the amount of material there.

I mean, it's a treasure trove.

Bonus episodes of the show.

Also episodes of me ranting about the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and then secret lives of Mormon wives, and then who knows what else.

I watched a little bit of Sister Wives last night and season twenty things are not going well for the polygamists.

Come to Patreon support the podcast.

Okay, I mean this has been thirty minutes.

It's time to get into the podcast.

Everyone loves today's guest.

He's fantastic.

It's Jacob Wisaki.

Jacob, welcome to iad No.

Hello, I'm sorry.

I mean I brought a lot of information.

Ham there's a rule in podcasting, can't talk to your intro.

I follow the rules.

You did it very well.

I'm a consumer of the media.

I understand how it works.

Occasionally the guest pops in.

I almost did, because I would have welcomed it.

That burbank Walmart's fucking nuts.

It is the greyest space I've ever Gray.

Is a great way to describe it.

It is liminal in that it is so far away from being in Los Angeles, California, yet it is here.

Yes, it really feels like, Oh now I'm in another I have just gone to another realm.

Yeah.

Have you been to like more rural Walmart?

Well, I grew up in Utah, Okay, so I've been to I would say, almost any type of Walmart you can imagine, and I've been to them every time of day.

When I go visit my parents.

Sometimes I'll just go wander around the Walmart late at night just for the experience.

I've seen.

Walmart is crystal clear.

The weirdest thing to see is a full family at Walmart at that time of day.

Yeah, okay, it's like maybe vampires.

I don't know what's happening.

It's good that we're all out.

Yeah, I'm glad.

It's good that they're all out together.

That's nice.

You have to see a family in arms.

Oh yeah, of course, of course, yeah, this Walmart, and I'll also say it's it's in a parking lot with also an Alta and a Sephora.

You have the tension there between these two makeups or there constantly fighting, constantly fighting?

Who allowed that to happen?

You can't have both?

No, and how do you choose as a consumer?

Oh?

Of course?

Oh, there's a spot at Alta.

I guess there's also a target within walking distance of this Walmart.

I mean that's we're taught.

You're talking about the beauty of Burbank at this point.

There's room for everyone, and you got it all.

There's also kind of a religious workout center over here.

Tell me more religious, like God religious Christian gym?

Why did I call a gym a workout center?

It's not wrong.

You weren't wrong.

Don't be mean to yourself.

You weren't wrong.

My English classes are coming along, well, they have a Christian gym.

Great.

This is a new phenomenon which I don't understand.

It's the race for the third space, that mythical third space.

They need it, they need it, and then we also got to get Christ in the mix.

People love going to the gym and church.

How do we combine those two things.

I don't know.

I guess it's a two for one.

Yeah, it is, Yeah, interesting, a spiritual body practice, right, do you go there on Sundays?

Interesting?

Once a week gym, once a week gym.

They're now remember finding some apple for people.

This is all starting to add up.

It's good marketing at this point.

Yeah.

But then the music it's probably Christian.

Rock, not fun.

No one likes it, even the people who say they.

Like it, even the people who make it.

Yeah, they're like, well, I'd rather be doing something else.

Yeah, I'm just getting my bag.

Yeah, of course, of course.

How are you doing.

I'm good man, I'm good.

Beautiful Burbank, California.

You know, nice early morning pod.

It's great because you don't have to do anything before this, right, and I technically don't have to do anything after this.

It really I did something.

It's a dangerous thing to do a podcast early in the morning.

I know, it's kind of nice.

I also have tripled up on caffeine in a way that I normally don't.

What sort of caffeine were you consuming?

So I've moved away from liquid caffeine, okay as a regular and I take a caffeine pill with my vitamins in the morning.

Why, I just I just think it just kind of gets in the system in a way that's a little better.

And I don't like feel like I crash.

Oh, and it doesn't get me like because sometimes you overshoot and then you're just.

Like, oh, buzzing every single hands will be shaking at some point.

Just wait, keep an eye on my body and knocked in.

Yeah I'm locked in.

All I'll ring a bell and you start to shake.

But yeah, it's it's nice.

And then sometimes like you don't have to take it, Like if I want like a slow morning, right, it's not like you get hooked in the same way I think you do with like coffee and the ritual of like brewing your coffee or making your espresso or whatever.

So like on the weekends, if I want to like be lazy, I just don't take my caffeine bill and I can just kind of like lumber around.

See, for me, it's not about feeling lazy.

It's about feeling like wanting to be awake at all.

Sure when I wake up, I'm just I mean, the most miserable person you could possibly encounter, just not.

A sort of a grumbly bear situation.

I would go beyond that, okay, just I would say hateful.

Sure, there's a lot of spot me in the morning, so until I've had some level of caffeine, it's just I can't you can't be around me.

And now what happens if you don't get the juice?

If I don't get the juice?

I mean, I question.

There was a huge part of my life that I wasn't getting the juice in the morning, and it was just like, well, what's wrong with me?

Well, it's because I don't have the normal brain chemistry of other people.

Yeah.

Then you get into this and you're like, oh, now I get a lovely beverage in the morning, and then about an hour after waking up, I can communicate with other people and at that point I can start doing my what's the game that I play connections?

I don't know what this is.

You don't connection.

Word is a word game.

Yeah, it's like a word game, kind of in the same vein as wordle.

Okay, I think it's better than wordle.

Ohay, fucking shots fire.

You heard me.

Wordle is just a guessing game.

It's just you know, a slot machine.

Essentially, isn't there strap the strapped They're almost strap.

Because it's like S is more than T or whatever.

But people talk about strategy with a slot machine.

Yeah, and there's it's like, no, never have a.

Friend who figured out Roulette.

Yes, and they're like, I just I figured out the system.

It's the system.

And then they go and they're like, well, there's actually just some error with my system.

It's like, well, I gave you my money because you were so confident.

Yeah, and now I'm realizing, oh, this is still purely chance.

Yeah, and you're delusional.

Do you gamble at all?

I do?

I like I like a controlled gambling situation whereas, uh, I'm going in with one hundred dollars okay, and then I will leave right And that either means I'm gonna sit and slow play and see if I can accumulate, or sometimes I just go for like the one big dopamine hit and I goes like straight to Roulette, put it on black and just like hope, and I like channel my psychic.

Running an errand just pop in.

I love like a road trip where there's like a little dinky casino, like I'd rather stop there for like my little like stretch and break situation and then like play twenty in a slot and haal.

Some cigarette smoke.

Yes, yes, I used to smoke SIGs.

I don't smoke cigarettes anymore.

So it is like a cheap Yeah, of course it's a bit of a cheap.

That actually is.

It's always shocking to find people smoking in a casino.

I mean like it's wicked to be in dos.

Truly, it's the last frontier.

It really is.

It feels like I can't believe they haven't banned this yet.

Please keep it.

I mean, I think it's part of the charm.

Yeah, some places I think are like moving away from it in the Year of Our Lord twenty twenty five.

But I'm like, you're not a true casino.

No, no, no, If you don't.

Reek and if they want gen z, they need to keep the cigarettes.

Well the gen z they're smoking stokes.

They love a sig.

They're going for SIGs.

They're kind of like they're getting off the baba the vape.

Nice.

Yeah, just fucking blast to see.

They're the same thing.

Yeah, I would argue maybe worse prop I don't know, Yeah, we don't know what the science ripping it in your house now, Yes.

And a cigarettes kind of a more of a leather jacket.

For sure.

You're not you're not vaping off like a You're not sitting on a motorcycle vaping, I hope not.

No, you're not on your Harley.

You're not at a slot machine with a vape.

No.

No, If you are, you're losing.

You're losing that.

The secret to slot machines got genuine to back.

Yeah, back to the Walmart just briefly.

When was the last time you were in there?

I was actually there pretty recently for what reason.

I needed uh like three international food items that that they tend to carry, such as I needed goju chong okay, you would be a fermented bean paste like a cream bean paste.

I needed jerk chicken seasoning that they have there.

They have like a I forget what it's called, but it's like a jarred and what it was the other thing I think like, uh like a mirran like rice wine vinegar.

This feels like you were creating a chopped basket.

It was one meal and then I just like, I need a.

Chicken for the pantry right er pantry?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, Wow, you make a lot of jerk chicken.

I used to work in a Jamaican food truck.

Really yeah, as a chef, I cook, I'll cook.

Yeah, I mean like on a food truck, everybody kind of does everything.

It's kind of like just all hands on deck.

So yeah, I was cooking, I was prepping, I was cutting, I was frying, and I was also the token white.

Sure, how did you end up in this truck?

I feel like unless you, like, did you submit an application to the truck?

It was kind of like a family friend.

My mom's was really close with this guy named Dylan who they used to work together, and he had a side business of a Jamaican food truck.

He's from Belize.

He's Belizean and cooks really really good Caribbean food with his family.

And during the pandemic, shit was tough.

There was no jobs and I was looking for work and he was kind enough to like, come work.

On the truck and had you cooked much before this?

My first job was like a dishwasher food prep.

Like way like in my know what was the restaurant?

It wasn't a restaurant.

It was called Delightful Dinners like this and it was essentially like Hello Fresh, but before so This was a crazy concept, and I wonder how I would do today.

But it was like a bunch of wine moms would show up, then they drink wine, and we had these stations that would be a complete meal.

And all of this stuff was pre measured, so it was like chicken tortilla soup, and this scoop is the perfect measurement for the amount of buoyan you need, and this scoop is the perfect for the amount of green peppers you need.

And you'd construct a meal to take home and freeze to pull out to cook fresh home ingredient meals.

Right, And what sort of space was this taking place.

It was in like a commercial kitchen space.

Yeah, and it did well.

No, it lasted like a year and a half, two years, something like that.

Yeah, it was very ahead of itself, right, And obviously those things are very popular now where it's like I want fresh ingredients sent to my house so I can cook and we can bring the family back to the.

Of course, that's what's wrong with America.

We're not eating together at the table.

Well, but this one would send you allow you to drive home drunk.

Yeah, okay, yeah, interesting.

These women would get hammed.

They would just get tanked.

And my boss was very, very Christian guy, and I always thought it was an interesting moral crossover because he would make us pray before work and I had to lie about being religious WHOA to get the job.

I was like, yeah, totally mad, that's really weird.

And every shifted he'd be like, yeah, maybe doing his little shit.

But then you'd also allow people to just get absolutely incinerated.

He's probably running this gym now.

Maybe yeah, yeah, yeah, I wonder I I'd pay five hundred and fifty bucks to see what that guy's up to, and no penny more.

I like the extra fifty dollars, a little walking around money.

I worked as.

My first job was as a dishwasher.

Well yeah, at both Schlatsky's Delhi and Gecko's Mexican Grill ooh rip to both of those.

What was the grossest thing that you had to regularly wash?

Oh that's a great question.

But I later worked at a bakery where we also had to wash things and you had to wash out.

They would cook full turkeys in like a tin and like scraping essentially turkey off of the thing into water hot water.

Nightmare.

What about you?

I think like sour cream interesting because it curdles under the heat.

Oh why was it under the heat the.

Heat of the quickly, Yeah, because you're washing with hot water for sanitation.

Hot water, yeah, exactly.

And so you'd be washing out the cabro of a that of sour cream because the wine moms need it for their Greco Roman Fiesta chicken or whatever, and you'd wash it and it would just like curdle, and then the smell would wash.

Yeah.

There's a couple of things that like, really, I can no longer enjoy because I just for to.

Eat sour cream.

No, I'm out interesting, I'm fully out.

People have very strong opinions about sour creams, even while they're not cleaning it.

I don't get it even before the clean I'm just it's like, okay, cool, I guess I'll eat some bad milk, but it cools my burrito down, so I'm I'm winning.

It adds some tangs.

Are you pro sour cream?

I wouldn't say pro is a strong.

FU can love it.

I'm with the sour cream Council.

Okay, and everyone, you're sorry you're morning with a bowl.

Okay, that's all I'm saying.

You're on the propaganda train.

Man, I fucking smell it on you.

Get a spoon, get a straw, get into your sour cream.

No, I don't mind.

It neutral a neutral party.

Yeah.

When I find it in a burrito, I'm like, well, they put another ingredient, an ingredient and thank god, bang for your buck.

Yeah, bang for your buck.

I would prefer guacamole in the place of that.

How do you feel about crimme fresh?

I'm just kind of not on the krema, the crem and the cream.

You won't do it.

I don't even really do Mayo.

Mao is another category.

I'll hit an aoli maybe interesting, maybe right, And that's just I guess good marketing.

It is because it is mayo.

It's the same it is with some sort of flavors.

Yeah, you put a little garlic or a little steak in there, some.

Uh no mayonnaise.

I've like learned to deal with.

I can like be a big boy, be like okay, fine, I'm gonna eat it.

I'll try, but I don't get it.

I don't get what we're getting out of it, right, I guess compared to you, like a mustard or just the taste of salami.

The taste is I don't eat it more wet man.

Some sandwhich is the bread is too dry and you need something there to wet it up.

And whose fault that's, you know, ultimately the baker.

And we've got to go all the way back.

It's not even the restaurant, it's the baker.

I say, we blame the farmers, but if we should just get back to the grain, the dry grain.

Yeah, whoever was the person with the scythe ultimately is to blame for mayonnaise.

No.

I I can eat essentially anything.

I had something to eat recently that i've I wish I could remember.

It was.

Oh, it was a tuna melt.

Okay, first time eating a tuna melt.

It was your first time?

Last time?

Only made it halfway through?

Yeah, what did you not like about it?

It was heavy, it was wet, it was hot fish.

Yeah, it's so soft.

I'm right there with you, buddy.

Have you had one before?

I have not?

Okay, I don't eat fish.

You don't eat fish.

I don't really like fish.

Okay, Well, then this is gonna be a taste.

Like drowning to me.

It has a I think I have like a maybe a bit of a trauma trigger.

Right, have you drowned?

I'm currently not currently not so.

I grew up in Sokel, right, we could ride the shitty bus to the beach, sure, And I feel like the culture of being a kid was like you swim until you almost drown and then you go in and that's when you're done.

At beautiful beach.

And there was a couple of times where you're there's a couple of times where you're really like having fun and you're being a young man, and then you get caught in a riptid and you're like, don't know, I honestly don't know about this one, right, and then you like barely and it's like that's kind of the same taste as fish.

Is that like, yeah, no, I was in the ocean for the first time in a long time recently, and it's way scarier than I expected.

If.

Yeah, man, it is really out of control.

It's it's you have to really respect it.

Yes, it's not a lake, it's not a river.

No, it's so different, and you can get tricked.

You can be like, oh, it's calm, the waves are only two feet and then for whatever reason, there's just like a six foot set and you're fucked horrifying.

Do you know Josh Sharp no comedian Josh He drowned in Mexico.

I guess, like technically, does when you drown do you die?

Or is it he was knocked out and washed up on the shore basically, And.

I think to me, that's cause of death, right, like, drown is I think you almost drowned, almost dround.

Yeah, to me, drown is dead.

And even though we can look that up.

Jamie, what is the final word on drowning?

Yeah, I would really like to get to the bottom of that.

It looks as if, yes, it's it's pretty final.

Yeah, Okay, that's the final word.

Okay, So he almost around, but like to the point that, like some his brain I think essentially kind of shut down for a minute.

And to me, it's like, okay, if.

You cross over, I'll give it to you.

If yeah, then you have a best seller on your hands, all kinds of I mean, your career opens up in a hue.

I wish I could write an angel book.

I know it would be good that book tour, Go.

Be Reckless in the ocean, go for it.

Are you a beach guy in general?

Yeah, I'm kind of like for me unfortunately a classic so Calcy.

You have a bit of a beach vibe.

Thank you.

I really appreciate you.

This is not a bad thing.

It's a good thing.

I like all versions of going to the beach.

But I'm a guy who's like I'm gonna get there early and I'm going to stay all day.

And are you reading?

What are you doing?

You're playing in the sand, You're splashing in the water.

All of it, Wow, all of it.

You're I think it's a great way to like get away from the phone for like an extenule time.

Or I think a lot of it is just like focusing on kind of like doing nothing and enjoying just like the sounds and the sights, and like maybe you're with some friends and so you've got like some fellowship and community, and it's kind of about the nothingness of it, right, and then you get to fill that nothing with like little things and it's sand castle time and it's swim time, and it's like go for a walk time or nap time.

You're making this sound way more appealing to me because I just think I'm tired and there's an hour drive home and I want to take a shower.

So I think that maybe if you thought about it, is like it's a whole day.

It's like Disneyland, Right, it's not.

It's not a three hour you pop in and then go home.

Right, you're going to do the whole thing, right, Yeah, but it is a lot of sun.

You gotta be careful.

I know, I feel like do tan.

Yeah, I kind of get a little alliver.

Okay, you're very lucky for me, not a you're a little more fair there.

Yes, So there's a lot of worrying about reapplying the sunscreen and have I got enough on in the first place.

Look the tent technology in the last five years, Kent technology, it's gotten crazy for beachwear, Like what people are just there's all these like things that you can just pop up and all of a sudden you're shaded.

And it's like I would have loved that when I was a kid.

Right, there's all these like and it's just the wind and it just uses the wind to keep up and you're shaded and wow, yeah.

Not doing anything for anyone.

Old school at this point.

Pass oh, I would say a fallacy the umbrella phallasy.

Logical fallacies you got to get one of these sun the sun umbrella.

I don't even know what they're called.

There the text amazing.

Well, I know what parking lot to go to the ARII, Walmart, Target, Old Suppora.

Parking Lot, best Buy.

They got it all, They've got it.

All, got Wendy's, and then you can go get Backstakhoffs.

Give me a bloomin.

Let's get a bloomin after this, Let's cut the pod now and go get a bloom and.

Well, as much as I'd like to keep talking about that parking lot, I feel like there's something else we should I don't want to talk about it.

I didn't even want to bring it up.

Yere honest, But you know, I thought Jacob's wonderful friend of a friend of friends.

I think a lot of people can vouch for this guy.

He'll come on the podcast, we'll have a nice time and then move on with our days.

Maybe split a blueman.

The podcast is called I said no gifts, so I was a little I was surprised when you showed up today holding this gorgeous gift in this stunning kind of magenta pink sparkling bag.

I can't show up.

I'm empty handed.

It rude friends.

Okay, well if you if we're friends, I'm always looking for new friends.

Yeah, I can't enter a new friend situation empty hand and it's so rude.

Okay, well that's a perfectly good excuse.

Should I open it here on the podcast?

I would be honored if you opened it.

Okay, let's get in there and just have fun.

The front of this has got a nice there's a feel to it.

I don't know if you might take some glitter away with you.

Oh yeah, not yet.

That's almost the same as Mr for that.

Yeah, very nice.

Okay, let's reach in here pulling out.

Okay, now we've got a lot of tiss.

Okay, it's in that.

Okay, it's in the baggy.

I did sort of a classic small Oh my.

God, this is so small.

Yeah.

I did sort of a classic small gift in a big bag.

It's okay, we've got the tissue.

Okay, now we can get rid of this.

Also, there's let's not forget a paper clip.

That's also part of it.

This is part of the gift.

That's I brought you two tabs of really good acid and a mushroom.

Wow.

Yeah, do you grow your own mushrooms.

I don't don't, but I got a nice I got a nice mushroom guy.

Uh, I just go to this kind of weird warehouse that changes locations throughout the city.

What you get like a he kind of like there's a guy and he like is like we're on sixteenth Street today.

And you go and there's a warehouse and they pat you down and there's a bunch of people selling mushrooms and weed, And.

Does it feel illegal?

How illegal is this drug trade?

That's my question because it's so harmless.

I mean, if it was just weed, I would say that it's gray markets, the term where it's like semi legal, where I think they're probably growing it legally.

They have the paperwork to grow legally, it's just like the business license, yeah, Or they're not selling it in a brick and mortar in a way that you normally would, or they're not following regulations of like packaging and testing.

And stuff like that, just like selling milk.

Yeah, but it's like selling raw milk, raw milk.

But as soon as you put like the mushrooms and stuff into the equation, I do think it becomes black market, significantly more black market wild Yeah.

How did you find out about this particular business.

So it's an interesting little set of situation.

Like I stopped buying weed from clinics, okay, because it's like bad.

I think it's bad in one way.

If you feel like it's bad weed.

I think it's bad weed.

I think it's like too expensive.

I think it's like overtaxed.

It's like not really thinking about like the growers.

It's turning into this like big sort of like it's just another capitalistic Marborough sort of total space and all the weeds kind of old and it all has to get sent off and it has to get tested, and you can't smell it, and like back in the day, you go to a clinic and you'd like open a jar and be like this seems nice for.

Me, almost like on the prairie you would go to the apothecarya.

Yeah yeah, yeah yeah.

So I ran into some guy at a punk show who was like he had like a little set up at the punk show, okay, like a couple of jars and he's like selling pre rolled joints and stuff like that.

So I like got his information and he sold me like weed and mushrooms for for like a year, and then ominously he came over one day and he was like, Hey, I just want to let you know, like I'm getting out of the game, Like I'm not going to be selling drugs anymore.

Like I'm going to go back to being an air conditioner tech.

I think it's a better move for me.

And I was like, okay, yeah, like thanks for everything, man, And like over the year we had like you know, he'd come to the house and we'd have a chat and ask him about his life, and we had a nice little report and I'd see him at a punk store every now and then.

But then he did something really weird.

Not weird, he did something interesting that he left behind, like a piece of paper that had an Instagram handla, and he didn't say anything anything, and I like followed that handle and it was too one of these accounts that works in this sort of like gray market space.

And so then essentially what he did was like connect me with his supplier.

Right, So he's like, I buy wholesale.

Wow, So I buy a couple of pounds, right, and then I sell you know, ounces or whatever to you and your people.

So he basically like connected me to the whole.

What's the breaking bad guy's name.

It's not that big.

I'm not hanging out too.

He has an underground layer yeah uh yeah.

So and then I've just like gotten to know these people that it's essentially like a farmer's market, okay, where it pops up in these different locations and you can go and smell it like he used to.

And there's a lot of different like independent growers and stuff like that.

Uh.

Their instagram, they got got good grid, good story.

Nothing on the grid.

Nothing on the grid, because if you like post stuff.

About weed, it gets taken down and it's like one of those things where it's like often the Instagram does go down and then they have to like start over with like XX.

Give me a break yea yeah, and so you just go to random warehouses.

When you first followed the instagram, do you like, how do you approach Oh, I know this guy.

I just I was yeah, I just was like so and so uh like the name of the guy or his like you know, nickname or whatever.

It was like connect.

It was like I know, blah blah blah.

And they're like, great, here's the address Tuesday this time.

And then just kind of like you know, you go to a farmer's market.

A couple of times people start to remember you.

You just kind of get.

You're part of the community.

I'm in the system.

Yeah, and how often are you going?

Oh I like to buy Like I don't like to go a ton, so I kind of like I'll kind of buy in bulk by like an ounce or two, and then you know, maybe go once a month or whatever and get like my my treats, my medicine, and.

They've got weed, they have mushrooms, they have acid.

Yeah, anything else, No, no, no, because that feels like maybe but like I'm not you're not going into the other category.

Yeah.

Yeah, I feel like there's other people if I had to, there's other people for that.

Oh yeah, they're a little bit more on that.

Like holistic sort of like right, these things are from well.

The acid is like to push Yeah, yeah, how.

Was acid made in a lab?

I mean, I don't know the science.

Yeah, I've never really thought about LSD where it comes from.

This is from.

This is the acid separate from the gray market.

I got it from a different oh, a different place.

I don't even know.

I don't I got it from I don't know.

I don't know if I could say.

Right, is it a person or a place?

It's like that's the thing.

I'm not one hundred percent sure.

It's just like there's a a collective called the Sorcerer that connect with on telegram.

I love the mystique.

It's very Yeah, it's interesting.

America needs to get back to eating at the dinner table and mistique.

Yeah, a little bit of mystery is fun and like it's kind of interesting to be like what warehouse am I gonna go get my wet today?

And I go to different parts of town and I like, I'm like, great, I'll get to try a taco shop like a little further away, or like, oh there's an interesting chili cheese dogs stand next to it or whatever.

And are the people you're dealing with do they feel like drug dealers or are they just some?

Do some feel like true like cultivators, they feel like, you know, they're just like I grow great weed.

And then there are people who are like, I'm here to sell sixty pounds weed right and make my money.

And I'm kind of an intense I have an intense brow.

How often are you doing mushrooms?

Not?

I like a microdose?

Okay, I like it's it's Saturday night.

We might go somewhere where there's like a little bit of dancing and to just like eat a little guy, right, and like I can still have a conversation, and I like, I am not going to get to like whoa right, my legs, what are they?

Tears are running down my face?

Yeah, yeah yah laughing.

But a big dose I probably like at this point, I mean, I've done it.

Like, once you've done the big guys, right, you kind of you kind of get it.

Kind of there's like all you know, there's only so many lessons in life.

There's only so many revelations you can have.

And not saying I'm opposed to getting anymore, but it's like I've done it.

I've done the like big trips, and I think it's more fun to just like, yeah, we're like at a cabin, so everybody's gonna eat a little bit more than a micro We're gonna do macro dose.

I feel a little giggly and like our tummy will be a little rumbly.

But have you had any bad trips?

For sure?

What's the open to talking about?

Absolutely you've had.

Top of mind because I was just kind of talking about this.

There was like anytime I've done mushrooms in like a large, large group, it's always a little more challenging.

Right, the anxiety that I mean, there are more random factors.

Yes, And there's like slightly different doses and like different needs and like different sort of desires and like comforts, and everybody's so amp athetic in a way that's like almost the politeness gets in its own way.

Oh, sure, after you, after you, after you, but then nobody's doing anything.

I remember we were like at a cabin in Big Bear.

It was like a group of my improv buddies, and it was one of the first trips that I had taken with this like group of friends.

And we all ate some mushrooms and somebody was talking about that they had found a recording of what the Earth sounded like from space.

It was like a sonic This could go in any direction.

And we were all seated in front of this like big window, like looking out at the view seeing the pines and stuff, and music was playing.

Sure, and they like had just talked about this like earth sound, and it was playing and it was not what I expected it to be.

It was more melodic.

Oh, and it turns out that it was not what was playing was not the Earth sound.

But I went like, wait, so this is Earth.

I was like, wait, so this is Earth, and like I became misunderstood in that moment, and they thought I was like talking about.

Like, oh, what you're looking at in that like I.

Think there was like a perception that I was like a little further along than everybody.

And then they were like, yeah, man, this like and everybody was like laughing, like yeah it's Earth, man, haha.

And I was like trying to communicate, like, no, not what we're looking at, Like somebody was talking about playing this music that was the same, and I like couldn't articulate what was going on.

And it was like everybody was just like laughing and they're having a good charm and we're comedians, we want to make people laugh.

But it was making me feel a little nuts, of course, and I couldn't like communicate.

You're mildly confused, and now you can't communicate or express yourself in the correct way.

And everybody's been like and their faces are like and so I like kind of played it.

I just like muted myself and I like got really inside myself.

And was like, it's fine, you were just misunderstood and that's fine.

And that kind of turned into like an earworm that burrowed its way like through my my psyche and I had to go and I just like like I just left and I didn't tell anybody, and I like was gone for like two and a half hours, just like tripping sack like around this weird kind of like remote big bear area and I'm just like wandering through these neighborhoods just being like does anybody get me?

And I remember like finding myself like in a yard with dogs and being like this is where I need.

This is good.

And I'm like in a yard like somebody's property, like hanging out with their dogs, and I'm like going up to trees and hugging, and then like I get really sick and I like have to go puke like in some like person's like you know, like neighborhood menace, yeah, man, And the worst of it is like I kind of came back and like after two hours that like the trip, the the peaking of the trip had had subsided and I was feeling a little more regular, right, And I went back to the house and it was all locked.

The whole house was locked, and it was like quite quiet, and then I there was like three Zachs at the party, and I just remember like looking at my phone and like trying to get to Zach.

But it's like all the way.

So I'm going through like everybody I've ever like ever interacted well, and I'm just thinking about like everybody that's ever been in my life because I'm looking at.

You everything they thought about where And then.

I can't figure it out and I am overwhelmed and I can't get to Zee, and I'm just like i just got to call one Zach.

So then I'm like banging on this door trying to get in, but I scared every dingy.

Yeah, of course now they're freaking out.

I like me, and this is like the type of person I am, like, I'm kind of like comfort first, total people pleaser, Like to send alarm to a group of people is like maybe the darkest place I could accidentally find myself.

And I har es so much and I'm just like, God, I'm here, and then you know.

Everybody's like like who is out?

Yes, yes, And it was this like total push and pull of like and then finally somebody was like, Oh, it's you.

Where have you been?

And I just was like I kind of freaked out and I'm I'm here now.

And I think they were like all playing like ID and seek or something, so like they were like in the dark hiding, and then it was like.

How did someone not die?

During?

Three people passed away?

And that was one of the tough ones because it was like, I think I've had worse trips, but I'm on my own right, And I think it was that like interfacing of like newer friends and more intimate settings and kind of upsetting them where I was like I carried it a lot.

And what's funny is I feel like if you asked anybody there, their version of the story was like I said a funny joke and then I like knocked a little too hard on the door.

Later little did they know.

Yeah, I was just like.

This was like a chemical reaction.

This is like what's going on side and Adam, I can't go further.

I wasn't great.

They're all bouncing against each other and freaking each other out.

Yeah.

Wow, the domino effect of that is pretty wide.

It was a wild time and it like you know, it evened out right bounced itself out.

I aimed into the house and everything was fine.

Was it one of those ones where it's like, I'm going to take a little time off of mushrooms And I was like, well, everyone has a bad experience.

Yeah, I think I was probably like, cool, I'm not going to probably do that for six months two years?

Right, it was enough for the year.

Yeah, that was good.

I was good on that.

At least it wasn't boring.

It was electric.

I don't quite know the difference between mushrooms and acid, like the experience.

Have you done either, I've done mushrooms cool, So.

Just once that when it was lovely and it was like one of these things where like I don't know if I want to have one of these experience.

Sure, did you get like the wavy or was it just like everything?

But I will say it was like in twenty fourteen when all of the Bill Cosby allegations were starting to come out and ride as it started.

You're so sad, that is your boy crying?

Why calling my senator?

No?

I rides it started to hit.

We were in a cabin and they have like books, you know, and I was wandering around the cabin and truly as a hit.

I found Bill Cosby's book this giant picture of his face, and it was one of the weirdest experiences looking at Bill Cosby being deeply, deeply tripping on mushrooms.

Something I'll never forget.

Yeah, his face burned into my brain forever.

Hello.

Yeah, so that could have really gone in a bad direction.

Yeah, for sure, for sure, But it sounds it sounds kind of funny.

It was kind of fun I think that they fund but yeah, that's all I've ever done.

And it was wonderful, and it was wavy and very visual.

I was say, I ate some pineapple and it felt like I was eating gold bars, that kind of thing.

Yeah, what's the best way to kind of equate it.

I'm going to attempt a new analogy.

I feel like mushrooms is a bicycle and acid is an e bike.

Oh interesting, So one's bad.

One's much I think, much more intense.

Or it's like it's a very similar experience, Like it's a psychdelic It allows you to kind of like look at something and it can kind of change shape.

And I think they're both similar, but it's like acids twice the length.

Okay, I think it can get like far more intense visually, far far more intense visually, and it's like technically a little bit more of like an upper and it can really like I think your noggin is like really turned on and you're thinking very fast in your range, just like unless you're kind of scared, I think, because like you can push it out and then you're like, oh, whoa, the clouds are turning into faces of men, right, and then that's really fun and nice, right, yeah.

Yeah, Whereas mushrooms it's a little more laid back, a little bit more uh.

I think it's just not as like computeristic or like it's like less tron more fern gully.

Like there's just like an organicness and like a violin isn't the right word, but it is also the right word, you know, because there's a lot of people who like the acids easier for them because there's no tummy like it necessarily as emotional.

I think it's a little more cerebral, okay, and like technical in a way where you're like.

It's a dude to your taxes, for example, this is the drug you would want to be.

Yeah, I think you're having like profound thoughts but I don't think there.

It's more like the world and like the systems and like patterns and like well the leaf and like you're it's not like I'm good, right, I'm thankful for myself.

I don't think it's as emotional.

Interesting.

Yeah, very interesting, And do remember the first time you did either?

For sure?

First time I tried acid was with like a really great friend Roger of mine, and we were at a like the maybe one of the most grimy parties in like Chino, California that I could ever go to.

It's just like such a fucking just one of those like sticky.

It's like the house becomes sticky.

Oh and we we took acid and it was bunk and we just kind of like waited for it us to get high, and it never really quite quite worked, you know.

So they're just like what why did people do this?

Why are we?

Yeah, and then I didn't try it for years because I was like, oh, it's kind of an omen like maybe I'm not supposed to do this mark.

Yeah.

First time I did mushrooms was at a music festival in eastern Washington called Sasquatch Okay, And it was like I was in my I was like twenty three, and me and my guys fucking road tripped up and camped in like a cow field and saw all these bands over three days, and the first night it was really cool and we were just like enjoyed a full day of this festival.

First time I'd ever been to a music festival.

And We're walking back to camp and I was like kind of walking alone, and there was just a dude walking the opposite way, so he was like kind of headed back towards the venue, sure, and he just was like, mushrooms twenty five bucks, mushrooms twenty five bucks.

Very peanuts, hot peanuts, five.

Hot peanut, hot peanut, And uh I had twenty five bucks.

It's like literally the master that I.

Had, who ever has twenty five dollars, come, I must have broken that other twenty for fifteen dollars chicken tender or something like that.

And uh I just it was kind of a no thought situation where I was like, this guy's got them.

I'm like at this sort of like a place where.

You do that makes perfect sense.

And me and a buddy split the bag.

We split in eighth the mushrooms and just like completely tripped sack and we're just It was one of those where I'm just like laid back, staring at the sky, seeing like the grid and like seeing it open and being like, there's so much more and I remember, this is very silly and who knows, but I remember seeing like people like angels or like humanoid so you could write the book maybe maybe.

You shouldn't have to die.

You were seeing people at angels.

But they were like seeing me, being like, you're not supposed to see us.

It was Nancy Reagan's ghost.

You aren't supposed to be on drugs right now here?

What are you doing?

And that was really funny that all these like people were like beyond the veil being like whoa, hey man, how are you seeing this man?

And it was just so fun.

Wow, it was so fun And it was just like one of those like I'm perfectly young and like, I mean, I'm just experiencing why right, And it was really really cool and transformative.

And I always thought mushrooms were gonna be like then I have to fucking get dreads and like then all I talk about is how everybody needs to like transform And it was not that at all, Just like I did it.

It was great.

It was like a little ride you get to go on and then you get to continue being yourself.

Yeah, I said, you know.

I was like, you guys should try mushrooms.

It was pretty fun, but I wasn't like proselytizing personality.

Yeah, that would make fear of mine.

I think that was why it was very apprehensive.

For a long time.

A lot of people high school early college were experimenting with that stuff, and I was like that kind of like I don't want to be full hippie.

Right that.

I feel like that should be more of anti drug programs, just like you don't want to be annoying.

You don't want to be like a fucking hippie, right, Yeah, No.

One wants to be annoying.

I think that would probably be more effective than being like, well, you're gonna have the best time of your life, yeah, and then you'll want to keep doing well.

Okay, people aren't.

Going to think you're chill.

That would immediately make me be like I want to do never.

I won't to be chill.

Did you see any music while you were tripping?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, did you see oh man?

I remember seeing Bonie Verka, which was very like kind of boring to me.

I'm glad to hear this.

I'm not you're not a fan.

Yeah, it was kind of boring.

And then what was really awesome was my friends loved bony Ver and I was like this kind of sucks.

I'm gonna go, and they're like, you can't leave, and I just was like, meet me here, well, meet here at the end of the night, and I went and saw the lead singer of LCD sound System did a DJ set, but he brought a live black choir whoa, and so it was like this he was playing like gospel music, like E EDM gospel music, and it was fucking awesome.

And it was in a tent and it was like just like dancing and it was like so much more fun than bony Bear, where everybody was just like on their blankets.

Yeah yeah, and this was just like but it was also like had that sound liveliness, yes, yes, and like that sort of like you know, they're like commanding energy and they're like harnessing energy in a way that was like so fun.

Were they in like choir robes.

It was like they're on a coral riser and he was like doing his like spinning, doing the dj shit and then they would like sing the hooks and stuff like that.

It was so cool cool.

Wow, yeah, why is he still not doing that?

I don't know.

And it was like one of those things where it's like I didn't really know who LCD sound System was at that point in time.

It was just like I don't want to missay his name, James Murphy.

Yeah, it was just like build as like James Murphy DJ set.

I was like, who's this, who's.

The Mormon Tabernacle quay?

Yeah, Wow, that sounds delightful.

It was really special.

Yeah.

Do you go to a lot of music festivals?

Not anymore?

Not anymore.

I went we like went to that one, kind of got hooked, and then we went for like several years, you know, three or four years, and then it closed.

It was like no longer.

What was this one called again?

Sasquat Sasquatch?

Yeah, right, Like for.

Whatever reason, they're like, we're not doing it anymore.

And then I kind of stopped and I never went to Coachella.

Coachella sounds too dusty.

Too dusty.

There was a little one.

It still kind of exists in La.

I think it was like fyf yess and that would be cool.

It'd be like down at USC like kind of like near the coliseum.

Right within driving distance.

Yeah, that was really fun.

Like stuff like that I think is great.

But I think as as like the older I get, it's like, do I want to stand around for nine hours?

Right?

See?

Like probably like two good acts in a span of ten.

Acts or whatever, just under the beating sum.

Yeah, I'm more like I go to gigs a lot.

I still love going to punk music and going to underground shows and stuff like.

That's what I like.

Where I'm like two hours, three hours.

Even that's almost too much.

Yeah, when I go see a favorite band, I'm like, by the encore, I'm essentially like holding the keys in my pocket.

Are you going to the opener?

If I like them, if I've heard of them, or if I really like the band and trust their taste.

Yeah, see, that's what I like too.

It's like maybe they're going to put me on and I'll have a new friend, yes experience.

If it's a band that I'm like just you know, seventy percent liking, we'll be like, well, I don't need to waste my time with whatever crap band they've gotten in front of me, what was least concert you saw.

I went and saw this really cool punk band, hardcore punk band out of Olympia, Washington called Electric Chair.

Oh, and they're just like the lead singers just like one of these guys who's just like got so much energy and he's just such a showman.

And the band's really good and tight, and they like they're clearly rehearsed and tour all the time, right, and he's just like jumping around and doing somersaults and like slamming his body around and it's like really a great perforce.

Yeah, where did this take place?

It's at this place called Five Star Bar in Downtown LA.

That was a pretty iconic punk place in downtown LA for a while that closed.

And then my buddy Dice, who's like a really big part of like kind of the DIY punk community in East LA in Los Angeles, he's running like a lot of really cool underground venues, gray Market venues, and he and his buddies were like, we're gonna re open up Five Star Bar to kind of have like a place for this community to exist.

And he's kind of like it's been a kind of his own undertaking and he's like revived it in a really cool, fun way.

And it's cool to see like the city have like a more you know above ground rue to exist.

And the basement or whatever.

Yeah, like you know a hole in the wall and skin row right, you know, which is fun and that's sure, you know, that's where you should go see a bunch of but it's also nice to just be like I can get a beer and like there's parking.

Yeah, I feel like the closest I've ever come to that, And I feel like this is like the top is the smell the smell?

Yeah, yeah, so it's right next to the smelling literally like kidty Cat corner to the smell.

It's like five star bars here, there's a parking lot the alleyway.

They're like right there.

The smells awesome.

That's an LA institution.

Those guys are so great.

They like have held it down for so many years.

So many great bands come out of.

The Oh yeah, it's really been there in years, but I'm glad it's still open.

It's one of those places that like is always going to be the same.

There's always going to be like young kids drinking beer and nicely.

That's just kind of a thing.

That it's part of nature.

Yes, yeah, you can't get.

Rid of it.

It's just a cycle.

Yeah.

Yeah, it gives you a little bit of hope.

What was the last show that you saw?

Mm?

Oh, I wish I had a memory.

I wish I had him.

I saw a Destroyer, which is not punk.

It's I feel like I've seen it on Spotify.

Yeah, it's this guy, Dan Bahar and a band that are kind of I would say, I'm not super easy to describe because every one of his albums is kind of its own thing.

Cool but a little I don't know it even in the realm of like who I would compare it to historically with music maybe in the same like a little bit Brian Eno or glammy slightly but indie rock to cool, a little New ordery sometimes.

Yeah, I'm like, how this is shaping fantastic?

I'm in Oh my god, I'm on.

Have you ever heard you've ever listened to music at airports?

Of course?

I used to listen to it when I would do my laundry in New York, sit at the laundromat.

Just it's so good.

I have it on vinyl.

It's like one of my favorite things to play it beautiful.

Yeah, absolutely, and his four like I guess rock or pop albums whatever you would call me Murray singing four of my favorite albums of all time.

Sure, he's so good, so amazing.

He's gone on to produce some real I mean produce bands that I'm not super into.

That happens, so you've got to make a buck.

Bill.

He's one of our great I have what's it called oblique strategies.

They made an app of it.

Do you know what?

Are you familiar with this?

He created this like card thing in the seventies with we should I'm gonna try it right now.

But it has like basically these different directives and you would pull a card from the deck, like I think when they would be at a standstill in the studio or whatever, they would draw card and then like creatively, they would follow that directive.

Okay, so let's.

See, and I don't think Brian Needo created this app Well, this one says take a break.

That's not very interesting.

Come on, let's see.

Let's I've been working hard enough.

Okay, now this is yeah exactly.

This one says allow an easement, allow and then in parentheses and easement is the abandonment of a stricture.

So I mean you just do what you do, whatever you want with that.

And so it was designed to inspire music choice.

I think initially jam.

And what this jam is inspired by the idea of adding an easement.

Right, and whatever that means to So I think it's just like, yeah, brain spark something.

But I'll look at that occasionally and it does almost nothing for me.

Sure it does, true, but you might need a drum kit ye or something.

But I think it's for creatives, maybe something you can at least distract yourself with for a minute.

But Brian, you know, oh my god, I just adore that's so cool.

Well I think I mean, before I bore everyone everyone to death with Brian Eno, I think we should play a game.

Let's play a game.

We're going to play a game called Gift Master.

But first, any to number between one and ten from you?

Do?

I tell you it?

Yes?

Yes, seven, Okay, I have to do some like calculating to get our game pieces.

Right now, you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want.

Cool, you're right back.

Yeah, Hi, guys, I'm just going to promote good health and wellness.

Drink your water, take a deep breath with me, in through the nose and out through the mouth.

Let's do one those huh guys for health and wellness out through the mouth.

Now, think about something you want to accomplish today, this week, or maybe this year.

Visualize it.

I'm visualizing it with you.

Send it to me and I'll send you mine sending it to you.

Wow.

Think about how real that is and I hope that happens for you.

Wow.

What an excellent use of that time.

Anyone listening to the podcast is now driven off the road.

If they hadn't already.

Might need to like drop back.

A warning, a coziness warning.

Please be fully awake and alert.

Okay, this is how we play gift master.

I'm going to name three things, three gifts that you can give away, items, experiences, whatever.

I'm going to name three celebrities and you can tell me which celebrity you would give which gift.

Oh fun, Does that make perfect sense?

That makes perfect sense?

All right?

The gifts you'll be giving today are number one, a good look in the mirror, Number two a short lived but beloved dramedy.

That's a nice gift, and number three an in home urinal.

Got it, I've somebody's in home urinal before and I prefer to flex.

It's a flex, but it's in what direction?

Hey?

Can I just say, and this is going to be polarizing, just pissing your sink?

Just what's it for?

Same thing?

It's the same thing.

It's got a drain.

If it's got a drain, you can rhyme let it rain.

Yeah, there you go.

The celebrities are number one Malia Obama, okay, up and coming entertainment something.

I think she was a writer or something.

Stephen King great and number three Barbara Corcoran.

Do you know who that is?

I don't think I know.

Barbie kind of bob wa Yeah, there you go.

She's an entrepreneur, she's a real estate mogul.

Yeah, and she's got a heart of gold at least on the show.

Okay, so we've got the pisser, we've got a good look in the mirror.

Remind me of short lived but beloved dramedy.

Sure lived but beloved dramedy.

I think we'll give Bob.

I think Baba gets a good look in the mirror.

Okay, because what are you doing?

What is this show?

What is your life?

Do you really need it?

You got enough cash.

You've been doing Shark Tank for how many years?

Seventy?

Yeah, at least years.

She's about one hundred and thirty years old.

A cackling at this point.

It's it's dark magic keeping her afloat.

Get a hobby, baba, come on, start fucking start taking up photography.

Get a dark room.

You can afford it.

I'm sure you have the eye for it.

Yeah.

I think I'd give her a long look in the mirror, and she probably love it.

I think there's something going on here that she'd be like, look at that, Look how good it all is.

She's had some very good work done.

Appreciate the work you've had done.

I think Stephen can get the drama edy.

I think he'd appreciate the story.

He's not getting a lot of dramedis on TV.

He's not known for his soft comedy.

Yeah, he's not going subtle.

Yeah.

I wonder what the closest thing he has to a dramedy.

He just I imagine him.

It's Yeah, there's a little bit of or with thinner is like kind of cheeky, a little bit desperation, which is like Roy Buchanan, which is I think is a pseudonym.

Oh he has other another person writing books as well.

Oh, I'm sure a factory at this point.

I mean, I'm saying like I think I believe he's writing them, but he can't stop that he had to create a pole.

I think I could be so wrong, and that's totally fine, and I don't care that's true.

But yeah, the desperation is like funny.

Oh, there's there's like dark humor.

Interesting.

The cop character is like very like he's like a cheeky bastard.

But I also just kind of love the idea of like Stephen King watching like the first season of Skins.

Stephen King's Freaks and gigs.

Yeah, I think that's nice.

Yeah, kind of a late career turn for him.

Yeah, yeah, I mean why not try and get it, try and get into a different cash revenue.

Right, I'm sure he's got it.

Right.

If you can be bad that, I think you could also be good.

You're just kind of put in the mirror the other one, right, just a mirror.

And then Malia gets whatever the last one is.

She gets the in home urinal.

Yeah, and that's just sort of like, uh.

She's probably already got everything she could possibly ask for.

God.

Yeah.

I think maybe it'll give her something to like.

They can roast her about it and that'll humber horror.

And that's probably right to be a president's daughter who she does blast SIGs, which is I think is oh interesting.

Gen Z.

Yeah, I think that's pretty cool daddy's daughter.

I think he's shopped.

He did, but he was, he was blasting SIGs.

Yeah, you love you know, you're the president of the United States.

Have a focus, cigaret brother, Come on.

The way, this podcast has become pro smoking is so.

We're gonna from him in the pocket of big Nickeds.

I want you to know.

The Surgeon General is coming for us.

Yeah.

I got drove here in a Winston Company car, in.

A giant cigarette shake car like themobile.

It's pretty cool that you can light it.

The exhaust comes out in the back.

Yeah, and you get fast.

Why haven't they done that bad move on their part?

You know, I'll call, I'll call.

Give you can touch, Yeah, I can get.

I can get up the ladder for sure.

Get them on the phone.

Get the cigarette machine going.

Well, you played it perfectly, Thank you, very thoughtful.

I was nervous.

I was going to fucking with it in the game.

No, you did perfectly.

And all these people are going to appreciate their gifts.

Yeah, and they're welcome, I hope.

So now we need to answer a listener question.

People are writing into I said, no gifts at gmail dot com, or they're sending voice notes.

The voice notes have to be sixty seconds long and in a quiet space.

That makes sense, doesn't listener.

But today we're going to read one.

We help me answer a question.

Absolutely all right, this is dear Bridger and hopefully tolerable guest.

Okay, I mean that's a little.

Okay, Well, I'm you're sort of already creating a bias and how I'm going to interface with you and sort of the level of kindness and empathy the whole like you can find your whole dream things.

Fucks out out the window, out of the window.

This is after returning home from our vacation two days ago, my partner and I discovered our apartment has been invaded by fruitflies and ants.

We had a new house slash dog sitter, so we're assuming although we are certain they are the cause of this pest issue.

Should I get in touch with them to ask about the situation or is it better to leave it alone.

I'm worried they might be butt hurt.

Butt hurt.

Okay, okay, however, they are supposed to sit for us again next month, and I would like to prevent this from happening again.

Oh my god, eagerly and anticipating your incredibly uplifting and faultless recommendations.

Okay, now they're trying to win us over.

Have a great day.

Danny ps high on Elise.

I don't know who that's in reference to.

Fucking grow up.

Grow up is what everyone needs to do.

This is so lamb fucking grow up.

You're making good on your promise.

I'm pissed you.

You're upset to begin with.

I got a fucking problem.

There's ants in my house.

Grow up, dude, that shit happens house.

Yeah, they're fucking with my gig.

That's crazy.

Why do you have to?

I guess my question is why does this issue?

That is like fairly common And you probably left town with fucking fruit and no bowl.

Right, You probably left just crumbs all over the count.

They're probably an old banana in a basket.

Floor needed to be swept.

Yes, why can't there just be ants in your house?

Because nobody was around.

Why does it have to be the fault of somebody because this person hasn't looked within.

Yeah, and they were going in there.

That's why they're constantly escaping to vacations.

They're running away from a champagne problem.

It's a champagne problem.

A guy watching my ship while I'm having a good time.

I'm sorry, you had to have a little bit of reality in your life.

Man.

Well, and I feel like the solution here is just live with it.

The person comes around.

If it is their fault, they'll live with it as well.

Ultimately it will pass.

Yeah, eight billion people.

Find another guy.

Yeah, find another guy.

Cut this person out of your life.

Really that hard.

There's somebody who's the people need money, there's people look into dogsit.

And yeah, throw a rock you'll find somebody.

Is that the phrase?

And also get some of them.

Have you ever heard of the magic ant chalk.

That that don't cross the line.

It's unbelievable.

I think it probably immediately gives you cancer for sure, because I think it's illegal.

But you use this stuff, the ants, I've never seen anything like this.

Anything is effective in any category really, but it's hard.

To find, so it's different than regular chalk.

It's as far as I know.

Okay, it says I think it says like magic ant chalk.

Well, because I know I've heard of the chalk like I've done the chalk line just.

And it worked.

Yeah, just chalk.

Interesting.

So maybe the magic chalk people are just it's branding.

I bet you it's just branding.

Or it's like a type of chalk that maybe it's like a more like more gets off.

Oh you know, I'm pontificating it.

Yeah, and it's just too much chalk.

And that's why it becomes legal.

You can only have so much chalk.

It starts getting weird.

We'll get some regular chalk and put it all over your house.

Yeah, I don't know.

Man, this sky pissed me off pretty quick.

This person piss me off pretty quick.

It's d A and I so Danny whoever you are.

And hey, thanks for listening to the pod.

I hope you like it.

Subscribe to the Patreon.

There's a lot of great stuff over there.

And uh, yeah you owe Jacob.

Yeah, I would fucking venmomy five bucks.

Dude, I'm helping you.

I'm giving.

There's not a lot of people in the world that'll throw a hammer and just be like, hey, check your shit.

I think we need a little bit.

More in the dose of reality.

Come on, America needs.

We need to be eating as a family.

Mystique and a dosive rehalit.

A little bit of slap of the face of what's really going on.

That's how we turn things over.

Easy to write an email to a podcast about hands.

I don't want to be like I think I nam slightly going into actually being a little rude territory.

But the more I zoom out, it's like, what's going on, man, they're having a big problem.

You have a friend to call.

They have a friend in me.

That's right.

They expected me to be on their side this time, and unfortunately they were wrong.

Serious apologies, Danny.

He's not sorry.

No, no, but I can't lose a fan.

You can't take it back, take it back quickly.

This is bad for your career, Jacob.

This is gonna ruin me.

I'm going to get buried to think about the bottom line.

He's sorry.

He doesn't want to end up up at delightful dinners.

No, I can't go back.

You can't go back to delightful dinner.

My hands are too soft.

Now, I don't think they'd handle it.

Well, we answered the question perfectly.

I think so I have my drugs.

Yeah.

I hope you enjoy it, of course.

Yeah, at least they find it.

I hope they find a good home, of course.

Yeah, don't take a boat tabs of acid one right before I drive home.

Yeah, that'll be the rest of my day.

Yeah, I'll hear about them Monday, same time.

Okay, we'll take both at the same time.

Fine, split it with a friend experience.

Okay, I've had such a nice time with you.

This is a really fun time.

Thank you for being here.

Of course, listener, the podcast is over.

Of course.

You know that you're denying it.

You're scratching your clawing trying to keep.

It going and out of win win the bar.

On their iPhone, and there's really nothing you can do.

We've all been speeding towards a conclusion, and here we are.

It's over.

I love you, goodbye, I said.

No Gifts is an exactly right production.

Our senior producer is on Alisa Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday.

The theme song is by Miracle Worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner.

You must followed the show on Instagram.

At I said, no gifts.

That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting.

And don't you want to see the gifts?

And I invited you hear.

Thought, I made myself perfectly clear.

When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty.

And I said, no gifts.

You're our presences presents enough.

I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to survey me