And I invited you here.

I thought I made myself perfectly clear.

When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty.

And I said, no, guests, your presence is presence enough.

I already had too much stuff.

So how do you dare to surbey me?

Welcome to I said, no gifts, imperature, wineger, Oh, what's happening?

Let's see.

Yesterday I saw Jaws in the movie theater thrilling time, although I will say about half an hour of Jaws is just three men talking on a boat, and that could have been left on the cutting room floor.

I became bored.

I was bored during Jaws, and it was the part when they're supposed to be finding the titular Jaws, so you know, when you're looking for a shark, it should be thrilling.

It shouldn't be three guys bonding.

So that was tough.

But the movie overall is, of course mildly frightening.

What else is going on?

It's just been NonStop heat.

I'm sweating constantly.

I hope you're doing okay.

I hope you know.

I hope if you have a problem or if you're struggling with something, just know it's entirely your fault, and I blame you.

So we should get into the podcast because I think I covered everything.

I feel like I'm not saying that we have merch often enough, and I'm sure the network is upset to exactly Rightstore dot com, there's all kinds of merchandise.

Buy some merchandise.

Today's guest is just so wonderful.

We should get into the show.

It's Haley, Marie Norman.

Haley, welcome to I said no gifts.

Thank you for having me.

And can I just tell you that I'm actually in my merch era.

You're in your merchant in my merch era.

How so I everywhere I go I buy merch's some recent merch you okay, So I bought some really good Alabama Shakes merch.

I just saw them at the Hollywood Ball.

Wonderful.

And I spend money on merch, Like I don't just go up to the merch table and get a stick hr you go for it.

I go for it.

At Alabama Shakes.

I got a short sleeve shirt.

I got a long sleeve shirt, Oh my god.

And I got a hologram poster and it was like of a limited edition, like two hundred or something.

This is them flagging you as like a worrisome fan.

This woman is could be dangerous, she's on the path.

I just it's the thirty year anniversary of Clueless, which is one of my favorite movies.

Right, okay, this one's I was going to say, this one's actually embursing, but you know, I'm just gonna own it.

Mittel put out a line of thirtieth anniversary Clueless merch sure, and I bought everything.

Like what what are they sells?

Okay?

I mean I will say, your dress is kind of clueless coded.

Oh my god, thank you so much, you.

Know, kind of it feels like it would be right on Q for the movie thank you.

I grew up okay, okay, I grew up being almost embarrassed to say that Cluse was my favorite movie because people would associate it with like being vapid or.

Oh right whatever, which is basically saying they didn't watch the movie.

Thank you.

You get it.

Well, they're morons, they're morons.

And then now I've come into it a little bit more, especially because some of my favorite female comedians are.

Like why did I say female comedians?

That was weird?

Well, because women are rarely.

So the few funny women that.

Are out there, there are two or three of.

Them, and they all like Clueless.

Oh yeah.

So it's seemed to be like, okay, can I can really own it?

Right?

But when I was a kid and I was watching Clueless, everyone said I had to be Dion because I was black, and I was very upset because I'm very clearly a share.

I can tell you're a share.

Thank you dress alone.

A share I would like I was thank you you freaking see me?

You get me.

So with March thirtieth anniversary of Clueless, matel put out of line.

So I got the Share doll, the Clueless doll, I mean the Shared doll, the Dion doll, the polypocket.

I don't give a shit about polllypockets, but I had to get it, you.

Know, clueless polypockets.

So it's like SHARE's polypocket.

And the jeep the white jeep wrangler a little time and I have thee.

You drive a white jeep.

I just got it it.

See I told you in my merch Hay.

But in a way that might mean I'm like deeply devoid of.

Having sends to automobiles full price cards.

They should have a Clueless Jeep, the special edition.

They should have a Okay, do not get me started.

I am already in a and I just bought this one.

Oh, that would be a nightmare for you.

I would have to turn it back and a guy, I need the official clue list.

You would lose a lot of money.

Jeep, and it might be worth it.

You probably would.

That's truly a missed opportunity on the Jeep Corporation's.

Part, not because that part is iconic because of Clueless.

And they're always talking about Jurassic Park.

Jurassic Park Jeep.

Who cares.

I've seen enough of that treep.

We've seen so much of that.

Gee, everyone loves the classic white Jeep.

Yes, it's some more fun in that jeep.

The other jeep you get killed by dinosaur exactly.

And I feel like the I for got a really special Jeep white Jeep because I just showed up to the dealership randomly and they were trying to get me to buy like a black one or whatever other color one, and I was like, I only want a white one, and they were kind of playing like, oh, we don't have a white one blah.

And then the girl who I was buying it from went to the back, she came back.

She was like, we.

Actually do have a white one, and she was like, they were trying to throw me off the scent of this white one because it's a really special one.

What's special about it?

So it has denim interior.

Oh my god, this is a dream.

It's so cool.

It's a sport so it's like kind of high up right, it's fucking hot, dude, Like it's hard top.

It's the fucking best car.

And so they were trying to get me off the set and get me to buy another one.

So the girl had to go to the back and say she it's she loves clueless.

She's take away, she's relentless.

Why does it feel to sit on a denim seat?

Well, it still feels soft, great question.

Yeah, it doesn't feel like chafe jeans.

There's no chafing.

Okay, yeah, which is good for me because.

I wear like a shorter dress right now.

Yes, baby, So it's like a probably like a washed denim or something.

It's a washed I've never heard about this before.

I recently got a car in the seats are leather, and it was such an obvious mistake.

Did they get really hot.

Of course, why is that even put in a car?

I don't know, I don't horrible, it's horrible.

I like, I felt like I was getting this great deal because the last car I got was during the car shortage, and it was one of those things where you would go in the car salespeople would be like, well, deal with it there, we can charge whatever we want.

Yeah, so I was paying way too much.

So when I got this car, is like, oh, I can get whatever I want now, I've got this leather.

That burns my Wait, what kind of car do you have?

It's a Hyundai, It's a Hondai.

Those are good cars, They're great cars.

I'm obsessed with hondais Now.

How weird was that car shortage thing?

Though?

Oh?

It was absolutely wild and true, a true nightmare if you had to get a car, it was a true nightmare because you don't want to have to just crumble in front of a car sales person.

I remember going to the Preus dealership in North Hollywood and they were like, we have one.

Literally one, we have one.

The one good thing about it was selling your car, getting up your old car.

You were like, oh, I'm actually making money on a car.

How is this happening?

Yeah, but now I've got leather and my legs are just burning up all the time.

I've got to be in pants.

Why don't you get one of those you know those weird like nineties sun dash things.

I should get one of those.

You should get one, And I need.

One from the for the outside of the windshield because I have be Bees are constantly pooping on the windshields.

Bees bees.

Yes, you know what, honestly, I love that because you know we have a b shortage.

Oh interesting, So it kind of is like it's a positive sign.

I think it's a good thing that I at.

Least have too many bees around my home.

Which I think that means you have good energy.

Yes, you're keep going collinators.

But they're destroying my windshield and it's like, I get my I would prefer to get my car washed around every eighteen months, and now it's like once a month, which to me is over.

That's a lot.

And a car wash isn't cheap.

Car wash is not cheap.

I'm obviously getting the absolute cheapest.

Yeah, but it's still what fifty dollars?

Okay, well, you're going to do a nice car.

I'm usimply paying eleven dollars.

Yeah.

Oh you're going through the drive the.

Drive through one.

Oh yeah, you're taking care of your car.

I did well.

I had a prius beforehand.

Okay, do you know who Catherine Burns is?

She's like part of our group?

Is Catherine?

Now I feel bad I should have said.

Yes, Okay, yes, I know.

Catherine and I love her.

Like, yes, you should have her on this podcast.

She's amazing.

She does a lot of she's a choreographer, but she does a lot of like comedy choreography.

She was nominated.

I think she even won an Emmy for my crazy ex girlfriend.

Oh wow.

So when she won an Emmy, I bought her old priests from her because she got a Tesla back.

When it's a funny mo my cars for sale.

And I bought it.

Good for you.

So with that car, I went through the car wash.

Okay, there's a certain level like of car where you're like, I'll just go through the thing that beats it today exactly, And for me, that's literally any car.

But I don't know if you had my clueless Wrangler, yeah.

Maybe if I was in a clueless Wrangler, that's a very special type of automobile, and I don't think share was going through the well.

And also, wait, does it doesn't.

Have a top?

Well you can remove it?

Oh?

Yeah, so I have it on most of the time.

I only took it off for the first time this weekend.

And how was that feeling?

It was so fun, but mostly because I was just excited because I knew I was gonna be able to take hohe pictures after there.

Oh cool, goes like, we're taking the top off, We're going to beat Yeah, that's going to be fun.

But what's going to be better are the hot photos I'm gonna get from there.

That's the only car you can do a hot photo in.

Oh my god, these photos are hot.

Were they at the beach?

Yeah, the beach was in the background, but my butt was in the foreground, as it should be, as it should be.

Any you should do a calendar, You should sell calendars and team up with cheap and clueless.

And since I'm in my merch era, why don't I have my own merch?

That's a good question.

And did this bring us back to merch?

I want to know if there's any other merch you've bought.

Okay, yes, I well, I just had a film play at Silver Lake Shorts, and so I bought merch there.

I'm telling you, anywhere I go, I'm buying.

I think it's a good idea.

Merch is there.

You know, if people are selling the merch because they needed a little extra cash exactly, especially if you're in a musician's concert, buy a piece of merch, Buy a piece, throw them in extra twenty five to fifty dollars.

And I feel like they Okay, there's a part of me that loves it for the now.

It makes me feel like I'm like, I'm curating this cool life experience and I like wearing the things, and I'm just like, but also there's this idea that I'm like, this is going to be so cool in like twenty five or thirty years.

Oh, even though I don't know if the Earth is still going to exist in it or the earth work says, I don't know that humans will says, but my Andre three thousand shirt, well, and.

Some I mean, if someone comes from another planet them stumbling upon the Andre three thousand shirt.

They're gonna love it.

And Andre three thousand would be so happy that happened.

Oh he would love That's probably his dream.

That's his dream.

It's probably his ultimate fantasy.

Yeah, let me.

Ask your opinion on how much a March T shirt should cost.

Yes, you've got a dine warm.

Have you ever been to Clark Street Diner?

No, I haven't.

Wonderful restaurant here in Los Angeles, fantastic diner.

They have a great T shirt, a great piece of merch with a lovely picture of breakfast on it.

I think they're charging forty five dollars acceptable, that is, that's the price with the long sleeve.

That's what that's the not only that's the price of a long sleep.

If I was at Dantana's, d'antanna's has merch nout Oh interesting, Dantanna's had a long sleeve shirt, I would say, okay, I'll pay forty five dollars because it's Dantana's.

I'm not paying forty five dollars for Clark Street T shirt.

T shirt twenty five dollars, House OFFT thirty X.

It's just regular college.

What are we talking about, Gus.

They've gone too far.

They've gone way too far with this.

And I feel bad saying it because I eat there probably four times a week.

But they've got to rearrange the T shirt prices.

If you eat there four times a week, I want you, I want them to give you the shirt.

I mean I've said that.

I haven't said it to an employee yet, but I feel like they probably own me a T shirt.

At this point.

They're listening now.

They have ruined me financially.

I don't have the money to buy the T shirt.

Oh my god, too busy spending it on a cobb salad.

I did get a piece of merch that was disappointing recess.

What was it?

So Seinfeld is like my favorite show.

Okay, So when I was in New York, I got the merch from Tom's Diner where they're always eating.

It was a very hard Oh no, the oversized wasn't oversized enough.

So when I wear it, I feel like I'm working at tom Steiner.

That's like late nineties, early thousands merch, when there wasn't quite the quality that you needed for merch.

It was a last thought.

Yeah, and usually those things would be free.

You would be thrown in as a promo item.

So you're getting trash, Oh we are.

This is a true sign of inflation or just bad times.

But now you're right.

We used to be able to get merch for free.

Right.

Oh, it's such a shame.

I just spent two hundred dollars on a vintage Seinfeld sweatshirt.

Wow.

Yeah, And because I'm in La Girly.

It's a vintage Seinfeld sweatsher but from KTLA when they started syndicating it, so it's got the key.

That's a dream piece of merch because it's very specific, hyper local.

Yeah, my favorite piece of merch.

I got it a car test drive.

It's a superwo T shirt.

Oh that's good.

It's now I think seventeen years old and it's falling apart, but I can't let go of it.

It's my favorite shirt.

You wear it?

Yes, okay?

Good because you know some people won't wear their vintage shirts.

This one.

It looks too good not to wear.

A friend recently told me, though, you have to stop washing it.

You need to put it in the freezer.

Have you ever heard this?

Oh my god, I heard this about jeans and I forgot it.

Okay, tell me everything, because I don't think I'm doing my vintage.

Evidently you cannot.

Once you get to ap point when they're starting to get holes.

In it.

You will destroy the thing if you put it through the wash.

But if you put it in the freezer, just leave it in the freezer for a day or whatever.

And look, I am a scientist, so I can speak to this.

Apparently the bacteria is killed and that's how you clean it.

This is good for me to know.

But I'm curious about scent.

Well, body went out, Yeah, body, okay, I have a question for you.

What so you said your vintage You're okay.

You said you're seventeen year old Suberu shirt, and I immediately started calling it vintage.

And I'm thinking, I know there's gonna be people listening going seventeen years old, that's not vintage.

What constitute vintage for you?

This is a great question, And I really feel like anything that was made post nineteen ninety two is not vintage, should never be called vintage.

We post nineteen okay, maybe that's.

A little I would say ninety let's say ninety eight.

Okay, you're right on the money.

I think they've decided.

I think they've decided that anything made before two thousand is considered vendom.

That makes a little more sense because when I like go thrifting, and I'm at like an actual thrift store, not like a curated place.

It's now just like truly like, oh, this shirt is from two thousand and nine Targets, and it's kind of like, I guess you could argue that it's vintage, but it just looks like garbage.

It's just garbage.

Or it's like a T shirt for Limp Biscuit or something, and it's just like this is from a bad maybe it's bad period of time or something.

But I feel like you just associate vintage with like sixty seventies, eighties and now early nineties.

Yeah, but I mean, but that also might be us wanting to ignore the factor that we're getting older.

But I'll also say I think the quality of clothes were better.

Than oh, one hundred versas.

So we got to this once we got into the world of fast fashioned vintage is a nightmare.

And our clothes a giving us cancer.

Oh yeah, you know about that's getting it right now.

I'm I could cells are going crazy in my body everything I'm wearing.

Let's see, I guess this was made in two thousand and probably ten.

I bought this used.

My pants are new, my socks are new.

Yeah, okay, I'm loaded up with cancer, but.

You're you're safe from the top up because I can tell this is a good quality shirt you said you got in twenty ten, so you're definitely not getting cancer, right, And.

This seems like a good quality dress.

You're y it is it's by the it is new, but it's by this local la company called Damson Matter.

Oh.

I like that name exactly me too, And they make everything is like ego.

They'll come across.

Do you know what's a terrifying fact I learned last night is that if you live within a mile of a golf course, it increases your chances of getting Parkinson's by one hundred and twenty six percent.

I heard that.

I'll try that.

Why why haven't we not closed down every golf course?

Why?

Yeah?

Wait?

And what's the one hundred and twenty five feet.

Or what is it a mile again?

Yeah?

Feet?

By if you live directly a golf course, you'll get Parkinson's.

No, but a mile, which is a pretty big distance.

That's a big distance.

And then what's happening to the people that golf all the time?

They're getting Parkinson's.

I'm really scared of getting dementia.

Oh, I have a real horrifying, absolutely horrifying, and there's kind Well, maybe they're working on it.

I don't think so.

I don't think they're working on anything.

Is dementia something that kind of runs in the family or is it something that can just pop up?

I think both.

My grandpa definitely got dementia, but he was a raging alcoholic.

Okay, oh yeah, that said.

The heavy alcohol alcohol consumption, I think can contribute to it and contribute to it.

I think I'm not a scientist, but.

I'm not a great sleeper, so I take stuff to help me sleep.

Oh, and I go, I think this is probably going to contribute to me getting dementia.

But I can't get off of it because I feel like I'm too busy to be tired.

So I need to check myself out of life for like six weeks and and shop catch up.

My daughter get my body used to not taking anything to sleep?

What are you taking to sleep?

Xanax?

But I just take it to sleep, that's it.

But in my like maybe ten or no, ten or fifteen years ago, I tried ambient Oh, but it.

Was one of those people that was doing crazy shit on ambient.

Oh yeah, there's no way I could take ambient.

I would absolutely like burn my house down or something.

Yeah, you want to get.

A super shirt in the Washingman Chase, honey.

Ultimately I would destroy a vintage T shirt the worst thing of hall.

That's why I'm not a no.

It's so frightening, and I have.

I used to have a lot of sleep walking incidents as a kid, and frequently caused by like medication, you know, like if I was sick or whatever.

So I'm like, as an adult, when I'm fully capable of doing anything, I can't risk.

Oh my s you cannot risk that your reputation could be destroyed.

My reputations on the line.

What would people think about what happened to the reviews of the podcast?

Oh my god, they might take.

Well, oh gosh, look speaking of you know, horrible things happening to people's reputations.

Really just not thinking about how you were, you're perceived in the world.

This podcast is called I said no gifts, and I was really looking forward to having you here today.

I thought, Haley will come by, we'll have a nice chat, we'll catch up, move on.

No hurt feelings, no discomfort whatsoever.

And so you know, I know emails are sent out about the podcast, or at least I've been told, and I know the time.

I mean the titles right there.

So I was a little surprised.

I don't want to say I was irked or annoyed, but I did notice that you brought a gift today.

I did.

Do you think you'll be able to forgive me?

You know time?

You know we have to.

We'll just see what happens with time.

They do say time heals.

All wound, yes, and so it could be used.

I may take it to the grave.

Well, I hope you take what I gave you to the grave.

This is okay.

Now, whoever's listening to this when I'm dead, there's one thing I need to be buried with.

We're about to find out what it is.

I'm very excited to give it.

Okay, should here put it here?

Okay?

And I did it just bring you a gift.

I put it in a cue bag.

The bag is listener.

If you're not watching the video, which is on YouTube, don't forget.

This is the best bag we've ever gotten on the pod.

Least it's gorgeous.

I feel like it matches your vibe.

Because it's like island d you've you're giving me island vibes with that shirt.

It's my deep tan.

Now this is I want to move here into this bag.

It's the most beautiful watercolor island experience.

And then the tissue is almost like whipped cream.

Don't be more mad.

But there is a card in there.

Oh will you read the card?

But I doubly wait you just.

Oh that was the card.

No, that wasn't the car.

I just throw the whole bag in the spell.

Okay, let's find the card.

He don't tell me it fell out in my way, and.

It may have.

I'm not looking at this.

Wait is there?

No?

There we go.

I don't want to see this yet.

I don't want to read.

Don't see that a very honest person.

Okay.

Oh and a gorgeous postcard?

Where did you get this?

Where did you get any of this?

Tasteful?

Thank you?

Okay, says hey Bridger.

I really hope you can forgive me for bringing a gift.

We've been over that.

It just uh, it's just when I saw this, I thought of you and exclaimed, Bridger needs this.

It has your name all over it.

I hope you love it and that it doesn't end up in a landfill.

Well, it's going to be in my grave and my coffin or burned with me.

I do want to be burned too.

And they're in the postage, says I said, yes gifts.

This is read and then signed by Hayley.

This is really lovely.

I mean, I'm not forgiving you.

Okay, let's get in here.

Okay.

I just want to say that this top, this is brand new.

The top is only open because there was two of these things in there and I took out once we could be matching.

Oh I have mine here.

Too, okay, okay, very exciting.

Okay, so I have let's see.

Oh my god, it's a premium scalp massage or by the brand you Saga.

You Saga sounds like a publishing company where you like give them your name and information and they write a novel about you.

Yes, an ideas podcast, that's what this is.

Yes, there we go, you Saga.

Okay, Wow, let me look at this thing.

Yeah, the bottom go from the bottom.

No bottom, It's in almost a toddler Own style box.

Yes, it is a nice box too, isn't it.

Yeah?

Yeah, Oh this looks incredible.

Oh This is a dream come true.

You like it right right now?

Oh, this has happened on Earth.

I'm already massaging my scalp.

I've never had one of these before.

Oh, that makes me so happy.

Oh and you've got you.

They put two of these in here, Yes, because I because I thought, you know what, we can scrap scalp, scalp?

We can.

I was thinking, you know, we could scratch together.

But then I put my I forgot on the other side of me to get it for you.

And can I get up better frame?

And I'm not allowed to get off out of the seat.

Of course you can, and I'll massage my scalp while you were doing it.

Listener, this feels amazing.

It's I don't know if you've ever seen a massage, scout massage.

It's you know, it's like one of the ones that looks like a whisk.

I could just get double in the kitchen as well, I bake.

Oh, my's incredible.

You know a lot of self massages don't work.

And they're so annoying because you you're hurting your muscles trying to massage another.

This is just like pure relaxation.

Are you a TV watcher like can you see yourself?

Yeah?

Absolutely, I just finished Hunting Wives.

This would have been perfect.

Okay, Can I just tell you something fucked up?

Yeah?

Of course I auditioned for.

The Hunting Wives.

Oh and you'll never believe guess what role I auditioned for.

Let's see, I'm trying to remember any of their names.

Who's the Who's mom?

Who?

No, that's not you.

Maybe what's her name?

Chloe?

No, main character, Chloe.

I wish no.

They called me in four At the time, her name was just Wanda, and then it became Detective Salazar and it's like the woman the least.

Likely world that you should ever come me in for.

And oh my my god.

You would have been like any of the Hunting Wives and would bring that fun energy's that the Hunting Wives needed.

No, they were only calling in black people for and the leads name the least fun roles.

And the character's name was just Wanda at the time.

Now they're like detective Salads are.

But her name was just Wanna and there's only one black Wanda and it's Wanda Sykes.

Oh yeah, of course.

But Wanda is.

A name that as an actor, you get called in all the times for there's two names, show three names, Sheila, Wanda, and Olivia if they want to like pretend to be more well.

Right, So, all my black friends.

And I were like, why are we getting all these wand daughters just and suddenly and for Wanda to Detective Salads are they wanted you to like have this limp And they were saying that you needed to.

Half of her hair was shaved, was shaved, her hair was all fucked up because she had just gotten out of the hospital or something.

And I'm like, black people, black women, We're not going to walk around with fucked up hair.

No black woman is getting out of the hospital.

And if half of your hair is shaved, you're getting away.

Yes, that would be the first step or truly anybody or anybody.

And also the character didn't end up having that.

The character didn't end up having that.

And I'm a cutie, Petuti, Why am I not one of the hunting wives that's getting naked and showing my titty of.

Course and shooting a pig in the woods.

And shooting a pig in the woods.

That's crazy, Detective Solad, Sir, the limp?

Why did she have a like, I mean, okay, it's not like the show is the top quality.

I'm like asking why one thing was wrong with speaking of wigs.

Oh, it didn't bother me that much.

I mean I think it contributed.

I think, you know what, that's a great point.

I think it contributed to.

There are some on meelan acrav and some hairs that are just doing their own things, flying all over the place, so distract.

Is it fucked up for me to say her her her titties looked really good?

Is that like?

I bet she'd appreciate that, because I google like she's got kids or a kid like.

I just thought she looked she looks great, beautiful, showed her boobs in it.

I feel like, did you ever see the comeback?

Which one is the comeback Hayley with Lisa Kudro.

Oh, Well, of course I saw the comeback.

I was gonna ask you to leave this.

That would have been really bad.

That would have been super embarrassing.

I feel like she shows her boobs in that too.

See, I don't think she's very comfortable with her body.

I think this is my early onset dementia because I don't remember her in the comeback.

She's fantastic.

I replays this character Juna, who is like the in the first comeback.

You know, they shoot like the multicamp sitcom and she's like the young hot girl in it, but she's so sweet and wonderful.

Boarding room or something room and boardroom.

So now you've you've proven because you could have been lying up until this point.

You could have just been saying, yeah, I saw it.

Well, they're making a new comeback, you know.

I'm so excited, but it's always risky.

Maybe I'll get an audition for Wanda in it.

That's so crazy.

I'm the last Wanda.

Remember when periscope used to be a thing.

Yeah, I was never on periscope.

Good.

It's kind of the opposite of how I want to communicate with anyone.

Yeh in a live fashion.

Live and kind of just you know, you would just get them right.

Yeah, yeah, you would.

Just get warning.

I was always going life.

But I had shorter hair at the time, and there was a couple of people that would come on and say that I looked like Wanda oh because they had shord hair and Wanda is so cute.

But you know what, I think very different people.

I think I need I need to talk to my therapist about all these my.

The Wanda curse.

Well, I'm glad you're calling this out though.

Yes, yeah, interesting, Yeah yeah.

Listeners, don't call any black woman Wanda unless it's Wanda says, because we're gonna feel some type of way about it.

Did you finish the show The Hunting Wives?

Oh?

Of course, probably in less than a day.

I'm in my Also in my TV, all I want to do is watch TV.

That is so much TV.

Tool It's so much.

TV to watch and I used to feel guilty about watching TV.

Not anymore.

What else are you going to be doing?

I'm working on myself.

No.

Also, it's your career.

It's that's really what I've been saying, Like you're doing homework.

I am doing homework, and I feel like I have gotten way better at what I do since I've been watching TV.

And I imagine you learned a lot from Hunting Wives.

Absolutely, it was so wild, wild show.

Even my mom, who's very conservative, admitted to watching yesterday and.

That she really liked it.

Oh.

Interesting, And you know who told me to watch it?

Alison Brie.

Oh.

I just shot at Macy's campaign with her last week.

Oh, she's fantastic.

She's fantastic.

She was really great to work with, and she said, you got to watch Hunting Wine.

You both could play hunting wives.

So they should bring you in for season two.

But do you know what the problem is is now they're I think season two they're like going to be self aware and it's going to ruin it.

Right.

You know, it was made in a vacuum and no one knew what was going on and that's why it was so special, and that it's going to come back and they'll probably have too much money.

They'll probably yeah, what do you do?

What do you think the budget was for this one?

Four hundred dollars?

I do I want to come in season two.

I want to be really scandalous.

Game you should.

You should come in as a scandalous cop, scandalous detective.

God, I want to be fucking everybody.

Doesn't have a limp, but as a strut I think that that's your character.

I can the limp.

Let's be honest.

I was barely paying attention to what was you know, I was half on my phone, but it was like, just to make the character interesting.

Was that the point?

I don't I don't know.

It was fresh out of the hospital, thing, but I don't think it ever happened.

Speaking about being on your phone, apparently Netflix has this whole second screen thing.

Have you heard about this?

So when they're dealing with their exacts and show runners or whatever, apparently one of the notes that they give all the time is it is it second screen enough?

Meaning?

Will people still be able to clock what's going on with this show while they're on their second screen phone?

Because we're all on our phones.

That is such a dark thing.

It's so dark.

I feel like I'm productive now when I watch a movie, your TV show because because.

We're also scrolling so much.

Oh yeah, if I complete a movie, I say, oh my god, I'm.

It feels like reading the longest novel of all times.

It's infinite, Jazzy, I.

Just finished a movie that's over ninety minutes.

Look at me.

Go wait, oh I thought you were well you did?

You saw Jows?

I saw Jos in a theater.

That's the trick that's impressed.

I have to be in a theater to otherwise I'll at least pause.

The movie once.

Oh I pause all the time.

I've got If I can sit through an entire movie at home without pausing, something my limbs have been broken.

Yeah, you're dead.

Yeah, I'm like, I'm literally handcuffed.

The couch or something, which I do think is a good idea for a chair.

You sit down in it and then you press a button and it locks you in for the length of whatever you're watching.

And now let's say the house catches fire.

Uh oh yeah, something would maybe as a smoke detector on it so it can let you go.

But I would I probably would buy that product, something that just forces you to sit still.

I you know why I wouldn't because I'm really weird about peeing.

Oh yeah, I drink a lot of water.

I'm very I'm a very hydrated person.

Well, there should be a toilet in it problem solved, or a diaper.

That would be a dream come true.

I need to know that I can pee at any time.

I'm kind of kind of in the same camp.

Really.

Yes, you're a peer.

I'm a peer, and I'm very serious about it.

Yeah, and I have to pee often, me too.

I drink a ton of liquid.

Yeah, and you look hydrated.

Thank you.

You do too for glowing.

We are glowing.

We're glowing.

We're dewey.

Yes, you know, last year I made a big prediction that public urination would be big this year, and it turns out it's true.

I love being in public.

I think everyone should be allowed to pee in public.

Absolutely.

I would rather, okay, you know, like when you're on a road trip or something.

I would one hundred percent rather pee in public than go into some janky ass gas station.

It's much cleaner.

It's much cleaner, and I sure to perfect at the squad.

You just have to do like the right squad, and you have to position perfectly so that you don't get any p on your shoes.

Yeah.

See this for women, that's tricky.

It is tricky.

I've been unsuccessful a few times.

Yeah.

I guess I'm speaking from a privileged place of it being very easy to pee in public.

Yeah, but I think everyone should be allowed to.

All of our pets are doing it.

All of our pets are doing it everywhere.

Who's harmed when I'm peeing in public?

Yeah?

How come you can't just be on someone's yard?

Right, you're in Burbank.

We're in Burbank.

Just go be on someone's yard.

Five hundred million dogs have peede right there.

Yes, my pe is of better liquids.

I would think so.

I would absolutely.

Nothing wrong with it.

It's not a help concern, it's not a hazard.

I guess it's a smell concern.

It maybe is smell concern, and people maybe people would I think you should get like a little voucher.

You should get to do it like twice a year.

And only, and then we should all have wrist bands where it's like we're okay seeing someone p in front of you, because I guess that's the consent thing too, right, Like, yeah, I would definitely give consent because I want to see penises ping.

I think it's hot.

Honestly, you're in the city to do it.

I'm in the city to do it.

Yeah, you can see anything in Los Angeles.

You can.

When I'm dating someone, at a certain point, I go, can I see you pee?

Is that true?

Yeah?

I get into I'm like, I want to see someone pee.

I think it's sexy.

How has that gone for you?

Has it worked pretty good?

Although the guy was most recently, it was very excited to see him P.

And then when I saw him P, I thought, Okay, that was a little unremarkable.

Did you break up with him?

Well?

Yeah, but not because of that, and it contributed.

It was.

It was part of the puzzle that as we.

Were together longer, I liked watching him p more and more did I loved him?

I did.

I did enjoy being watching him.

And that's a very mature level of being in a relationship, being able to see somebody use the bathroom.

Yeah, but I would never do the other one.

I don't even want to say it now.

If what about him asking to see you pay?

Oh no, I'm into that, Okay, Okay, so it's fair, okay.

Interesting, not white, but that's two personal Okay, Oh god, that's disgusting.

I mean, do what you want to do.

Everybody has their thing.

You can see me sitting other and you could hear some good coming out.

That's where it's got, right.

Yeah, I think one step beyond that that.

Yeah, let's get out of here.

Yeah.

Do you pe in front of your partner husband?

What do you have?

Boyfriend?

Boyfriend?

Ok No, do not be in front of each other?

Okay, wow, I never asked, so you would be in public, but not in front of your boyfriend?

Exactly?

What's this about?

That's a great question, and I guess it's let's see, I guess it's that I don't care about the greater population.

I guess everyone else could just I don't care how they feel about me, and I don't care about them, but about my boyfriend.

Okay, Oh that's true love.

I think.

Yeah, I guess that's it.

That's really true listing, but.

Yeah, I would.

My dog has recently learned to open doors, and she's, uh, you know, coming in when I'm peeing, and like, Bonnie, you've got to you need to leave my cat.

I have, I have got I've got four rescue animals, which I know sounds unhinged.

That's lovely, thank you.

Two of my dogs are seniors.

They're thirteen.

One just started chemo, but he's gonna be okay.

He's okay.

The other one I okay.

My dogs have cardiologists on collagists and what are the.

Heart doctors called cardiologists?

Oh yeah, cardiologists on collegists, ophthalmologists.

Wow, the eyes, even the eyes.

I just got cataract surgery for one of my dogs.

My other dog is now on.

He just had to have half his pancreas removed.

But they're everything.

But okay.

So I have also have two rescue cats and my one orange cat Sticky likes to come and sit on my lap life.

Oh no, he he always there's a thing about like, yes, there's something he thinks he's like protecting me or something.

But like he will come jump on my lap when I'm peeing.

That's very c It is very sweet because I pee in the middle of the night and so when he.

Comes in, Oh, that's really lovely.

How how old were your dogs when you got them?

They were only eight weeks old, so I've had him for all thirteen years.

Oh.

I got them at the pound on the day they were going to be put down.

I drove all the way to Lancaster.

Oh that's so sweet.

Are they big or small?

Small?

Yeah?

I guess when if they're thirteen, they've got to be small dogs.

Oh that's really I want them to.

People are like warning me that they're going to die soon, but I don't think that they are.

But people are like, well, this is like you're in denial.

But I'm like, no, I think I have at least three years.

It a little dog.

I think you really can get you know, fifteen, sixteen years old.

Yeah, they can, and the light is still on in their eyes and they're best friends.

So they still put Oh my god, I just had to get so Bowie, the little swan who's got bad back legs.

Is he on the wheels.

I tried to get him on the wheels.

He was not doing it, and he would never do any sort of like shoes or socks.

I've tried those a long time.

But now his leg got really bad.

So I got grippy socks.

And he's very smart and he knows that now he has to wear the socks so he doesn't try to take him off.

And his legs are doing better because he's not slipping.

And slide it are they like chihua?

Was?

Well, one is Iggy is a Chihuahua, but he's the one.

He's like fifteen pounds, so he's like like a teenage jaw.

He's Chuaue miniature pincher.

And the other one is a Yorkie from a backyard breeder.

And apparently the breeder was busted, like busted by the cops, right, and that's how he ended up at the pound.

Wow, that's so sweet.

And this is a good example of uh not to you know, just lecture people, but you can get almost any type of dog at a rescue.

My friend Jackie Johnson, you've had Jackie was just talking about this.

She got Gary, her new poodle, little brown poodle, a rescue.

Yes, look, it takes a little time and patience.

Yes, and you can get and he cares.

Every dog's pretty fantastic.

Can I just say one of my friends dead.

I don't think she's gonna listen to this podcast because she lives in her own world.

So I'm gonna say something that's not deeply selfish maybe, but well, yeah, So she's obsessed with Korea right now.

I started with Korean television shows.

Then she started taking Korean classes.

She's like sixty, but she's going to all the BTS staff like whatever somehow.

So she decided that she was going to rescue a dog from Korea.

So she.

Just because it's Korea, just because it's Korea.

She wanted a Korean dog only, so she rescued dog from Korea.

She had that dog for several years.

The dog died, so then she was like, I can only have another dog from Korea.

So she just got another dog from Korea.

She had to pay someone from Korea to fly the dog here.

She had to put up and at that point it goes.

It's not even a rescue because there are so many emissions like this.

You've actually done worse for the environment.

Of coursed a huge just so that.

You could get some white multipoo with crusty eyes.

You could have rescued like fifty dogs, fifty dogs homes for and she only gets rescue Korean dogs.

But she also has cats.

But she spends ten thousand dollars each on her cats.

People, and again, everyone do whatever you want to do.

We all have to just enjoy our lives.

But when someone doesn't rescue a cat, when you go out of your way to buy a cat, I'm sorry.

Ten thousand dollars.

Just get a lovely little cat from a rescue from your front door.

Yes, they're literally everywhere.

Cat right there, they're free.

Take one, They're free.

They're all over the place.

Yeah, when somebody is very specific about getting a certain I guess there are allergy things, but then you can find the not the hypoallergenic ones at.

Rescues absolutely anywhere.

Yeah.

The cat thing to me is like, what are you doing?

Both of my cats are rescues, and oh my god, I just got a tattoo of one of my cats are here, gorgeous.

What's her name?

Spirit?

Oh wait?

You know how I Oh my god.

Okay, wait another one of your guests, Patrick Patrick, who created No but I know Patrick Walsh.

We love Patrick Waller.

So I guest starred on his show, Living Biblically of course right the day.

This is a wild story.

This is a wild story.

Buckle up, everybody, buckle the fuck up.

Ve Patrick.

But Patrick, he could be Do you think he's listening to this?

Definitely listened to this one.

Oh my god, we should tell him.

I'm going to tag it.

Let's talk about how horrible of a.

Person that motherfucker.

Okay, so I was not a huge cat person.

Right Separately, I book a guest star on Living Biblically, or show Patrick Walsh created and show ran the night before my very first day, I had a dream that I rescued a cat and it was a very specific cat with very specific coloring and a collar that was purple with pink flowers, right right, And you know how usually you forget your dream and if you remember it, you forget it by the ten am or of course, Well, my first day, our rehearsal was I didn't need my call time wasn't till one p or something maybe too so even later in the afternoon, I'm going, I cannot shake this dream about rescuing a cat.

And I thought I was allergic to cats.

It was just like, I can't stop thinking about this dream.

I saw a clear vision of the cat.

I go to my rehearsal for a living biblically.

I decide that I want to watch the rehearsal for the scenes that I'm not in sure.

Some a prop guy is sitting on his lap and there's a kitten on it, and I go over and I'm like, oh my god, can I pet this kitten?

And as I'm petting the kitten, I'm like, oh, I love her, and I'm like, oh, this she kind of looks familiar.

And then I go, you.

Know, this cat looks just like this cat that I had in my dream last night, except she had a purple collar with pink flowers on it, and they lift up her fur and it was the exact collar for my watch.

Yes, so I'm going I'm like so.

The prop person later told me that they wanted to bring in the cat the day before, but something told them not to and she would have gotten scooped up because she's gorgeous.

Something told her to bring the cat that day.

So I had to act chill because I was just a guest star and Cameron Manheim like all these people were like.

Obsessed with this cat.

So I was like, I can't be rude and be the guest that it goes.

I'm sorry to be the person.

I had a dream about this cat and I need to take it home.

Well, word got around, word got around, and so Cameron Mannheim a couple of people that were like, this is your cat.

Oh, so I want Part of the reason why her name is Spirit is because I wanted I almost aimed her CBS since I was but I wanted a name that sounded like something biblically living, biblically.

Really right, and it had visited you in a dream.

Like a spirit would exactly.

That's amazing.

Yeah, Patrick aware.

Of I don't think Patrick's aware of this.

That's all we have to tag him.

Wow, I think he has a cat.

He's a cat person.

He is a cat.

That's a good sign.

Yes, it's always a good sign.

Yeah, and someone's really against a cat?

What are you?

Huh?

What's wrong?

What's this opinion coming from.

Everyone thinks they're allergic to cats, but they're not really.

You know, I don't want to deny anyone's experience, but I'm happy to deny my boyfrid friends.

Your boyfriend says that he's allergic to cats.

Yeah, no, you're not.

It's this is a major problem.

It's a thing.

Where where is that coming from?

Is do they think?

Because I'm sure some people.

Are maybe once they had a thing, or it's coming I know people that have been, like I have had to have Inhaler's because of cats.

My grandpa was a pediatric allergy person, and I know I can't be realre of cats.

And then they come over to my house and they're like totally fine, and the cats are jumping on them.

I'm like, we've all convinced hers.

I started the story by going, I thought I was allergic to cat.

You were all convinced ourselves are allergic.

Former allergic to cat person.

No, yeah, A lot of people think that, And I think that there's probably out of everyone that claims that, probably ten percent of them actually are allergic to cats.

I agree, And then the rest of them sneezed once by coincidence around a cat by coincidence, or had a mosquito bite while petting a cat.

Do you know what I'll give them if you're petting a cat and then maybe you immediately rub your eye or something.

But true love is getting the shot so that you're not right.

There are things you can do.

There are there are things you can do if you're not willing to get a shot for me to be here in my cats.

If you are one of the ten percent that's allergic, get me get the shot.

So have you owned a cat before I have?

Yes, tell me about him her.

I had two little boy cats.

It's a long story and a lot of it has to be told off record because there's a kind of a wild person involved and it became a wild situation.

But they were two very sweet little cats in Mark and Dan.

And then we had to move across country.

Then it became this whole thing, but we found a new home for you.

Yes, And I wish I could tell the story on the podcast, but it involves someone posting something online and then someone else becoming very upset about it and then getting in a fight with my boyfriend.

The whole thing is and if I told you the names involved this, you'd.

Be like, what is going on?

Famous people?

Yes, but those people are unhinged like some famous they're not well, right.

I think being famous frequently mutates your brain.

You know.

They say that the age that you become really famous at is the age you stop maturing.

Oh yeah, oh yeah, that's very apparent.

If you watch certain people on TV and then look at their career history, you're like, oh, that's why they're still behaving like that at fifty years old.

Actually it's like, oh, you were twenty one, okay, yeah.

And I intend to be very famous.

So the benefit of the fact that it hasn't happened yet is well, great, I get to have it all.

I get to be mature, right, allowed to be famous until you're forty five.

Well, I'm ready to be famous now.

So I'm going to change the age on that a little bit.

I'm ready to be famous by the time this podcast comes out.

I want to be number one on IMDb.

Okay, how about let's say thirty Okay, for thirty feels I would give it.

Well, at thirty, your prefrontal cortex has had five years.

For ant I would say maybe thirty four.

Thirty four feels like the right age for someone to get attention, any attention at all.

Any attention before that, you're fucked.

You should be in a little held in a little cell until you're thirty four and then released and people can pay attention to you absolutely, otherwise you become a monster person.

I went out the other day.

I was walking through the Sunset Bar, like the clubs in like, uh, but whatever a club's bars, wine bars whatever on Sunset and like.

Silver La Coca Park area.

Do you these gen Z motherfuckers are smoking this again?

I'm like, what's what is going on?

The way that don't smoke was hammered into my brain through elementary school.

Yeah, and then and just with the.

Facts everyone is smoking.

I saw something somebody had posted about this on Instagram the other day and some gen Z people got in and basically we're just saying, well, everything is ruined, why not kill ourselves.

I kind of get that, and I.

Was like, oh, that is a hard one to argue against.

I'm okay, you got me.

I was talking to my pilates instructor the other day who said that once he realized his dog was going to die, he started giving the dog all the food that it wanted because he was like, it's gonna So I see gen Z sort of taking that out of dude.

They're like things are so bad also, but I just don't feel good.

When I smoke well, and also like they're definitely we're all going to be around until a natural lifespan is over.

The earth isn't going to end the next well knock on wood, Yeah, next twenty to seventy years, so you're still going to end up with lung cancer.

But I think humans could be done by then.

I think the earth, the oceans that will be there.

I don't think we're long.

I don't.

I don't want to hear a hard prediction on when humans are done.

Let's all put it in our calendars.

I would say humans are done in ten to fifteen hours.

That's why I don't understand people are having babies.

Now.

I've got to stop saving my money, gotta go on some vacation.

One of the guys who was an integral part of making AI said that he stopped saving for retirement because we're all going to be so fucked before then.

I know.

Oh no, wait, I have a question.

Speaking of cigarettes, I would listen to your Rob Hoffman because I because I love her fantastic.

Is this a cigarette she brought you?

This is not that one is at home.

Robbie autographed that cigarette.

Oh that's so cool.

I saw her a couple of weeks ago at two hundred South Librea, which is a very pop It's like one of the main commercial casting offices.

Oh yeah, of course I know this one.

It's right by the Ralphs where a rat ran across my foot.

Oh, a rat ran across your foot?

Very traumatic time in my life.

That I love all rodents and critters, but a rat would scare me because if they bit me, you're basically dead.

You might as well just throw yourself in front of a car.

I would freak.

And I pet squirrels, but I would be freaked out if a rat bit.

Right across my foot.

Oh my god, were you wearing sandals?

Thank god?

No, can you imagine I was barefoot?

You were a kid.

But you saw Robbie at two hundred South Libre.

Yeah, and it was very curious to me.

I wonder if maybe Robbi's listening to the because I'm a major fan of hers.

I think she's so cool.

I loved her episode of the podcast She's absolutely unbelievable.

And when I saw it two hundred South, when she walked by, I was like, hey, like your work, but I said it kind of blow and she walked by fast as she didn't hear.

But I'm wondering.

I was like, this was after she was nominated for an Emmy, and I'm like, was she auditioning for commercial?

Because every once in a while you see people auditioning for commercials that you're like, you're too famous to be in a commercial, but like, I'm all doing it.

So I'm like, was Robbie Hoffman there auditioning for commercial?

I really want to know she may have been.

Robbie.

If you're listening to this.

Did your book?

Please?

Did you book it?

Did you?

I adore Robbie I And it's funny.

Robbie was on the podcast like right before she really hit yeah, and I think a lot of listeners were like a few steps behind what Robbie does right right, It's like, just be patient.

Robbie's the best Robi.

You'll understand exactly what's going on.

I loved all her takes on cars.

I loved all of it.

But she's giving gen Z.

Motherfucker smoking but she says she smoke all the time.

She said that on the podcast.

What does that mean.

I don't know.

I feel like smoking at all is probably dangerous.

I smoked a little bit in my twenties, but that was like, I don't know.

I thought I was being like emo and cool or something like.

I don't know what the fuck I was doing.

Yeah, I've never smoked.

Don't start.

It's gross.

Its yeah, there's no appeal for me.

I know someone who relapsed on hard drugs and it started with one cigaret.

Oh no, the worst possible I know.

He said that it made him feel dizzy and like it gave him that high feeling that he had missed after years.

Of being sober.

So he relapsed on hard drugs after one cigarette.

And so many sober people smoke.

Yeah.

Interesting, Yeah, very interesting.

I gotta be careful with the cigarettes.

You gotta be careful with a cigarettes.

Well, is there anything else we should say about this wonderful gift?

Oh my, I mean it feels phenomenal.

I just want to know that you're going to use it absolutely while watching TV.

This is the perfect thing to do.

You know what I was going to say, maybe because I have another one at home.

I was going to say, maybe I could give you mine so you use boyfriend, But then I was like that might be weird because now it's like my scout.

No, he and I will share that.

You guys will the fights over this one.

When I was thinking about things to get you, I almost was like going to get you a la boo boo, but then I was like, I don't know, that's kind of like already phased out a little bit.

And by the time this airs, does anyone caring?

Right then, I was going to get you a laff fufu, but they're thirty dollars.

Look right behind you.

Oh there's a lafufu.

Thank god, I didn't get you a laf fufu.

Oh my god.

And I've gotten la boo boos.

Oh, thank god I didn't get you that.

Oh my god, thank god.

I've got them all.

Something popped in my head.

I closed my eyes and I was like, let me meditate for this on a second, and I said, head scratcher, And I knew in that moment that it was the right choice.

This is a you know, with this podcast, so many of the gifts are absolutely things I should burn, totally useless in my life.

This is actually something that's going to improve the situation and thrilled about it.

That makes you, well, I think we should play a game.

Oh, let's play a game.

Okay, We're going to play a game called Gift or a Curse.

But I need a number between one and ten from you.

Seven.

Okay, I have to do some light calculating to get our game piece is so right?

Now you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want.

Okay.

Well, I just had a short film that I wrote, directed in star In be chosen as a Vimeo staff pick, so it premiered on Vimeo on Friday, September fifth.

So you guys, go to Vimeo staff picks watch my film.

It's called The errand you'll get to see why I'm ready to be number one on IMDb by next Monday.

And yeah, I shot six national commercials this year and no one ever promotes commercials like who cares?

But I'm like, I'm literally on a roll.

I booked six national commercials.

You are keeping one agency afloat.

I'm keeping one agency a float.

So I'm just saying, keep your eyes fieled for me, honey, because you never know where I'm going to pop up.

I was there a favorite commercial you were in?

Well, okay, later next week.

Oh, I'm about to shoot a commercial for Geico with the gecko.

Do you know who has a n Well, I don't want to embarrass her too much, but had an enormous crush on the gecko as my niece.

Oh, she fell in love with the gecko.

Cute.

The gecko is a hottie.

Yeah, what's his name?

He definitely pee is outside?

Oh yeah, absolutely.

He does not have a toilet.

She does not have a to Wait, the Geico gecko has an actual name.

Yeah, let me see Geico.

I let's see Martin Martin.

Yeah, oh that's hot.

My niece was obsessed with this guy.

She would have married him had she'd been given the chance.

Yeah, this was an age twenty.

Okay, Well that's surprising.

I think she was like probably four or five when she fell in love with Martin the gecko.

Well, I hope she doesn't come for me that I'll want to be working with him.

You'll have to be in touch.

If you get any gecko merch, you might have to send some of my way send to my niece.

Although I think she may have outgrown.

I've worked with some huge people, Will Smith, Chris Rock, Dennis Hopper, huge people.

They have nerding on that getto thing compared to thee.

Yeah yeah, okay, well everyone look out for the Geico commercial.

But more importantly watch the short on video.

Yeah, that's all the short of the day.

It is no Vimeo staff picks.

It's like the most right, that's top level.

It played at Palm Springs.

It's great.

I just finished my Yeah, I'm also in my directing era.

I'm in a lot of eras right now.

That's a and making a short is not an easy thing to do.

It's not an easy thing.

Did every element.

I did every element of including paying for the whole thing myself, because I'm not one of these crowdfunding motherfuckers.

It's hard to it's hard to ask money to crowdfund a short because they are on money.

Does it?

Everyone does it.

Well, friend, and I consider doing that even shot a thing as like, I simply can't ask people to pay for my short.

Maybe a movie.

Maybe a movie, But I know rich people that are crowdfunding.

Kickstarter has got to look at bank statements.

I'm sorry, but if you have a certain amount of money in the bank.

You should not be allowed.

You should not be allowed.

I'm actually glad that you didn't kickstart that thing because Jackie Johnson, we shit talk people who start kicks our for things that we don't think are good.

So I'm really glad you didn't do that because.

West very good.

But it was too ambitious, so.

We would go Bridges got a successful podcast, He's got all these gifts.

He could sell those gifts.

Why is he Why is it now my problem to pay for his editor?

It was we went too far with the script quite frankly.

So it was an expensive one.

It was too expensive.

How many locations.

Four or five driving I had.

Driving in mine?

I had a lot of driving in mine.

It ain't cheap.

We had to take the hood off my car a lot.

It's a lot.

This was about the owners of Supercuts franchise going to the International Haircutters Ball and Expo.

Okay, so I very I would definitely this.

Is why I needed to be made.

But the money just simply isn't there.

We got to find you that money.

Okay.

This is how we play gift.

I'm going to name three things you'll tell me if they're a gift or a curse and why, and then I'll tell if you're right or wrong, because there are correct answers and you can lose.

Let be careful, all right.

This first one is from a listener named keV.

Gift to a curse right turn green arrow.

No, I don't want that.

Why because I want left turn green arrow?

For first of all, I'm going to turn right when it says no turn on red anyway, no right on red.

So don't give me a fucking green arrow.

That's weird.

I don't know.

I just don't like it.

It's like a natraw.

So you're saying curse, I'm saying, does that exist?

Does exist?

I'm sorry?

What hold on?

You're trying to tell me that out here in these new streets of Los Angeles there's a green arrow that tells you if you can turn right.

And you have experienced one, you're just not aware of it.

I don't like it.

I want either no turn on red that I don't listen to, or I want just a regular green and I.

Go with the flow.

It's a curse, a curse, yeah, correct, Okay, this is a curse, unfortunately, And you're kind of really illustrating why it's such a curse.

I think the technology is too advance for human beings.

Anyone that sees one of those is just like, I don't know, I don't know what to do with myself.

Yeah, because you're already used to being able to kind of turn on a red light, suddenly you're being given to it feels like too much power where you're like, I already kind of understand the rules of this.

Why am I allowed to I should be able to go at a green or stop at a red and go.

And this feels like this weird other realm of turning that makes no sense.

It's such the opposite of the left green arrow, which empowers you and gives you you're the king of the road.

For it feels so safe on a left green arrow.

Oh you feel fantastic.

Yeah, and you're really given a power, especially if you're at the front of the line.

You're like, I'm going to charge us all through the intersections.

This is a nice yes.

Yes.

Wait, so if there is a left right does that mean oh no, sorry, if there is a right green, does that mean you can only turn when the green arrow like what it can?

Does it?

Right?

The arrow also just do a regular green.

Yes.

No, that's where it gets confusing because some of them can be a no turn at the red, but some of them can turn at the red.

It's there's too many There are just too many possibilities.

No, And as we established, I'm share in my clueless right wangler era, I can you know we're lucky?

I parallel, You're done danger to everyone already, so they're a curse?

You got that?

Cul Yes?

Okay, good, all right?

Number two this is from an unknown listener, unmarked grave.

I'm apologizing to them gift or a curse.

Sharing food family style while out to eat.

Oh I love it?

Why because I'm always that person that's like, no, I don't want French fries.

But I know.

But when I say I don't want French fries, I know that I want at least.

Four of your fresh fries.

And as long as people wash their hands, like I hate being out to dinner, and I know that someone didn't wash their hands beforehand.

So if we're like family and style, I need to know that everyone's hands are clean.

But if I can trust it everyone's hands are clean, then I want a little bit of what everyone's having because I already want a little bit of what everyone's having, even if it's not family estyle.

I've got a lot of questions.

Okay, how do you know who's wash your hands and who has because I keep the black light.

Yeah, well, you know, I just came from a relationship with kids.

So I was very very right, very onto who's washing their hands and who's not.

So now I've got a little PTSD about you know, clean hands.

But I just remember going my friend and I walked our dogs to a restaurant, and so my first thing when I got there was like, oh, well, will you hold my dog because I'm gonna go wash my hands down because we're eating sushi.

Then I came back and she just and then she's.

Just sitting there and I couldn't eat because I'm speaking to myself.

We both just walked our dogs here.

Bitch, like, I know what's on your hands.

I know what's on your hands.

So I very passively, aggressively just kept being like, all hold tricksy while.

You gotta wash your hand until she got the hand.

I think in that situation you should just say go.

Wash your hands, go wash your yeah, to deal with it.

So you're saying gift, what was the question again, sharing food, family stuff, gift, Yeah, wrong, curse.

Oh what a stressful situation.

This, This creates non stop stress for everyone at the table.

Why because no one ever gets everything they want?

Okay, nobody.

You know.

The only time this ever really works.

Is with Chinese food.

Okay.

Otherwise you know, you're like, you're trying to be polite, so you're not taking as much as you want.

Oh I'm not polite.

Well, and so you're part of the problem because someone of the Elser tables saying, oh, look, Hayley's taking more than I took.

I reach across the table.

See it's it's too chaotic.

Yeah, everyone needs their own plate that they can look at and say, this is my plate, and I can share a little bit of it.

Yeah, but if a bunch of items are ordered, then we're passing it around and no, no, thank you.

That's wrong.

Yeah.

Yeah, you hate eating with me?

Keep family style at home.

When I eat, I make a lot of crumbs.

I smell.

Oh, I'm an absolute disaster.

You are.

Oh, so you can't wear your vindored Suberu shirt while you're eating that I've gotten I'm a risk take.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's like I care about everything and nothing at all.

Yes, yeah, but yeah it's a curse.

I absolutely I just I don't feel comfortable with it.

I walk away not having as much of the item I wanted, and I'm now mad at people at the time.

No, you're too nice.

Get what you want, go get.

Your I deserve it.

Yeah, you guys could order a second plate of it.

I'm worth a second plate.

Yes, I'm really an asshole because if I'm obsessed with guacamole, and so if we go anywhere there's a workamoia, I know I take more than my fair share, but I can't help it.

Well, yeah, I guess people have just got to take as much as they want and if they need more, they order more.

But I don't want to have to order more.

Wow, I want to order one plate.

That might be on you, nothing is ever on me.

Moving on, all right.

This is from a listener named Courtney.

Okay, gift you a curse when you're struggling to decide between entrees.

Another food related one.

Gift a curse when you're struggling to decide between entrees and the waiter says they're out of one, so the decision is made for you.

I don't think I like that, why because.

Because I didn't get to make the decision, because they're out of what.

I'm also coming at this from kind of a skewed angle because I'm vegan.

Oh so I can't even already have the entire many, which might also be why I feel entitled to the stuff that is vegan.

I think I have a little bit of like maybe what's available that's vegan entitlement.

I think that that I'm on I support you in that.

Actually, anyone who has this particular need that should get more of that item.

Should get more of that item.

Absolutely, that only makes sense because everyone else will be doing more of everything and tangent.

I don't like when people make fun of make vegan jokes, or make fun of vegans, or make fun of the valley or people who live in the valley, because I like those.

Are very dated, hacky, bullshit hack give me a break.

You know, I've like matched with people on dating apps, you know, years ago or whatever.

Who they really think that a great opening joke is like, oh, when I used to live in the studio city, like make a valley joke, and.

I'm like, I'm unmapped, really immediately.

Studio City is fucking amazing.

It's fantastic.

They've got a Marshal's, They've got Michaels.

Those are in the same building you want.

Yes, Oh my god, another depart method.

I grew up going going to that exact building that you're talking about, and I one time tried to dine and dash, and that's where I tried to There was a sushi red and all you can eat sushi.

Oh yeah, why the consequence?

We just went to admit that, Wow, that's a historic building.

For you, then that's a historic building.

And it's the only time I've ever tried to dine and die terrifying, and I just did it for the story.

I would absolutely trip on my way out.

I'm not a dining dasher.

I can't risk it.

Oh no, I I if I like a f I order Postmates and they give they give me the wrong order.

Sometimes I'll get I'll feel so emotional because I was still looking forward to it that I'll like want to cry.

I'll like cry.

So if I really want something.

On a menu and they're out of it, I'm like, why did I even come here?

Well, Hailey, the answer, unfortunately, is gift It's an absolute.

Gift because it takes a decision away from me.

It really for you know, for me and I and for everyone.

I'll speak for everyone.

It's such a refreshing feeling to just say, well, now it's out of my hands.

Wow, the universe has decided this was the item today.

Yeah, I get to have the item now.

If if the one eye, if there's only one item on the menu and it's out, Yeah, now we're getting to tear terry.

Well, I go to a restaurant kind of knowing what I want already.

Do you do that?

Of course?

Am I not on the website for an hour.

Before You're going to that restaurant for that item?

You're exciting and then that's robbed of you.

Rarely do I show up.

It has to be a place I regularly go to if I'm going to not have something in mind.

It has to yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes.

If it's like the first time I'm going somewhere, there's an item I want on the menu.

Right, yeah, because you're looking at it before.

Yeah, what about your favorite item?

At Clark Cheek Diner.

I have several cop salad, chicken enchiladas, club chicken fingers, Oh yeah, I think those are the four go tos for me.

I love a club sandwich.

They make really good vegan ones, so I'm still in my clubs.

Club sandwich is a winner almost every time.

If you make a bad club sandwich, full shut down to the restaurant.

Oh honey, it's a very It has a lot of great ingredients.

It should be easy to meet.

It should be so easy to make.

Well.

I can't remember how many points you got here.

I won.

I've done better than any other guest ever.

You've kind of you get a trophy, you get a cash prize.

Okay, I think we should move on to the final segment of the podcast.

We're going to answer a listener question.

People are writing into I said no gifts at gmail dot com, or they're sending a voice note which has to be sixty secon and slung.

It has to be in a quiet area.

Yes, those are the two qualifications listener.

Just so you know we.

Can, I ask you a question.

I'm so sorry, I'm so full.

I need to know.

How do you feel about voice memo?

When a friend sends you instead of a text, they send you a voice.

Fully depends on the friend and how long it is again the friend.

Do you know who's a very good If I ever get a voice note from Patrick Walsh, ooh, it's like winning the lottery.

They're every time, they're unbelievably entertaining.

They're to the point, but sometimes they're long, but they're worth it and okay, okay he sends me.

Every time I get one from him, I'm laughing out loud.

And it's not just like joking around.

It's usually a good story or a piece of relevant information.

How do you feel about them?

Well, I'm pro, very pro very pro I'm always sending a voice memo and I've gotten pretty egregious with it because when first voice Mama s first became a thing, it was like, maybe keep it to thirty seconds.

To a minute or to a minute.

Well, one of my friends, my friend Mecca, she started sending me ten minute long voice It was insane.

So then that ruined my barometer for it.

Where now I'm sending very long voice memos.

Sometimes some I could even someone else is even talking to me, I'm still recording and then I'm like a second all that I'm ordering up the drive figure one sec.

They have to have my order, and then I come back.

But you know, I have a very dynamic life.

There's a lot happening on.

It can't all be conveyed through tex.

So I'm sending voice memos.

They've gotten too long.

I send them to Jackie Johnson all the time.

I go back.

I bet those are good exchanges.

Though.

Yes, sometimes I think she just probably reads.

The Sometimes with some friends I do that.

I'm like, this isn't gonna be fun to listen.

It's gonna be a waste of my time.

What are you trying to tell me?

Yeah, the transcript is is a gift and a curse.

Actually it really is, because it's not always going to be accurate.

I'm just going to hear my tone.

You have to decipher what's going on.

Yeah.

Yeah, but you know who loves voice memos?

Black people?

Oh interesting, Yeah, I realized it's really a black thing.

We have embraced it.

Why do you think that is?

I don't know.

Maybe we love to talk.

I don't know.

Black people will send you a long ass voice memo and feel no shame.

Interesting.

Every once in a while something will come out that black people we just collectively and subconsciously decaid this is for us, and I feel like voice memos is one of those things.

Right, and me, I am so unbelievably scared of sending one.

Oh, I will be very careful about sending one because I'm I'm I don't want to waste anyone's time.

Oh see, you know you gotta you gotta take up your space.

You got to eat all the food at the table.

Everybody wants to be a podcast.

Oh yeah, that's what they are.

They all podcast.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My boyfriend would well, I don't know, boyfriend, act or whatever, this person in my life.

He would be like, well, you're just said like if I was frustrated about so that, he'd be like, okay, now you're just sending me a podcast, Like how am I supposed to respond to this?

And I was like, in another.

Way, I supposed to just listen to me for one to.

Complain three minutes about the dishes and the thing.

I think the rule is be entertaining.

Yes, if you're a bore, don't send one of those.

Don't send one.

No, No, don't yawn in it.

I don't want to yawning.

And start over.

Be a professional, ridiculous, have some production value.

All right, let's answer a question here this is Hello Bridger an illustrious guests.

Oh, very nice compliment.

I am a huge fan of your show.

Ow now this person's really going all out.

I am a huge fan of your show.

I am from the East Coast, but I was in La.

I remember this email.

But I was in La recently moving my child into college for the first time.

I can't believe this happened, but as I was driving through the city, I happened to see you and a friend walking on the sidewalk.

I briefly considered rolling down my window and calling out, Hello Bridger.

I love your show.

You are the best, but I did not.

I guess my question is should I have done that?

Would this have been a curse for you?

Or a gift?

Thanks in advance.

And that's from Janine.

Really good question, very scary question, Janine.

Janine, what do you wish happened?

Oh God, that's.

A great question.

Ah.

Oh, Janine, I wish you had pulled over for given me some money.

Why is Janine like in La?

First of all, where's this?

This soon must be going to USC This place is a future filmmaker.

We've got a future filmmaker.

Elien is only downhill from here not to take your kid out.

Oh wait, no, I forgot.

I'm very prole.

We're gonna start shooting stuff here again?

You already I I guess as an LA native you get to do whatever you want.

But as a transplant I get to say this is I've seen worse.

Yeah, yeah, see, I haven't seen worse.

I grew up in German art.

Janine, that's a great question.

Should Jeanine have bothered me?

Yeah?

I think you're right, Janine.

I would have loved to hear from you, Jeanine.

I'm hurt.

Oh, Janine, should have uh, you know, yell some sort of hurtful thing out the windows you drive by, blast your horn, upset my day?

Yes, add some texture to my day.

You how to be recognized?

Would you want someone yelling at you?

Honey?

One hundred percent.

I love attention.

I can't wait to be.

Really, really famous.

I love compliments.

I what do I love more than a compliment?

I love to be recognized.

Even before my screening the other day, the waiter at the very end came up and gave me and my friend that I was with.

You just happened to be my DP free shots and was like, I just want to let you know I saw your short in the festival.

That's amazing.

I loved it.

The one you wrote director and started a boot by Here's free Things, And I said, you know, I made it.

Like care, I'm talking about it on a podcastater.

I love compliments, especially when they're genuine, and a lot of times they are.

Even when they're not.

Who cares.

Yeah, I love to talk with them.

What you love attention and I love feeling famous.

Yeah.

So, Janine, if you see either of us on the road, you're blasting the horn.

You're yelling you look gorgeous today.

I love your pants.

Yes, I love the show.

I love your work.

That's what I want to.

I just had that happen in an audition the other day, me and this girl both auditioning for a show.

She came out and I.

Could hear the cassemecter giving her a compliment and I'm girl power, I'm active.

Power them all of it.

And I was like, girls, sounds like you crushed it.

Congrats and she was like, thank you.

That was one.

Then she was like, by the way, I know your work.

I'm such a fan, blah blah blah that you know.

And I was like, oh my gosh, that's so nice.

Then I went into the audition and I told the casting director.

I was like, I've met so many cool people in your office here, like there's always great people auditioning for your shows.

And then she told me who that girl was, and that girls like a big actor who.

Is success was a mind game?

Was that her mind game?

No?

It felt genuine.

I feel like you're able to float above mind games.

Oh honey, Yeah, you don't grow up in Los Angeles and that's reflected by mind games.

No, I'm bigger and better than a mind game.

Honey.

I don't play them, and I won't let you play them on me.

I don't know why you would have to develop that skill in Los Angeles.

Everyone and I've met has been very honest and hardworking.

Oh what a life we lead.

Well, Janine, you missed your big opportunity.

So now you have to like you've got to track me down via p I and stalk me.

Yeah, and now now it becomes dangerous.

Now you're not able to afford to send your child to their second year at.

US because you're going to be in jail.

Oh.

I was going to say, there's giving all their money to a PI.

Well yeah, first that then jail and so Janine isn't even going to be there for college GRADUATIONE fucked up, yeah big time because she had an opportunity to, you know, use a healthy communication.

Yeah, and she didn't do it.

And she didn't do it, waste of time and money.

Well, we answered the question perfectly.

I have my gorgeous hair scalp or scalp premium scalp massage.

Yes, hair scalp.

I'm so thrilled about this.

Okay, good, and I've had such a wonderful time with you.

Can I tell you this is the highlight of my day, and not just because I'm only starting my day.

It's going to get better, I promise.

You no, I'm going to be carrying this with me for a while.

This was I genuinely had a really go oh I did too?

You did, like, oh, absolutely, Otherwise we would have ended about forty five minutes.

I know, I wass asking you?

Am I talking?

I feel like I talked a lot, but it felt like.

I'm in charge here.

Okay, I'll let you know when you've talked to Thank you for being here, Thank you so much for having me and listener, the podcast is I'm slamming on the brakes.

Where're you?

Know?

All?

Just moving on with our days?

And I support you in whatever you do next as long as it's not well, even if it is illegal.

I love you goodbye.

I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production.

Our senior producer is on Alise Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolladay.

The theme song is by miracle Worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner.

You must follow the show on Instagram, and I said, No Gifts, that's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting.

And don't you want to see the gifts?

I thought, I made myself perfectly clear, But you're I guess to my home, you gotta come to me empty And I said, no, guess, your own presence is presence enough.

I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me