Welcome to Let It Be Easy with Susie Moore.

The story I'm about to share with you from Ticknot Han's book at Home in the World to me is incredibly moving.

I almost no, I did put the book down after reading this one and just needed to sit with it, let it sink in, take a little walk, and frankly appreciate the depth of this story.

Okay?

It's called Practice Is A Boat.

I met a Vietnam War veteran who had killed five innocent Vietnamese children during the war and who could not forgive himself for having done so.

His unit had been caught in an ambush and many of his friends had been killed.

Only he and a few others survived.

He was furious.

To retaliate, he set up a trap in the village where his friends had been killed.

He made sandwiches with meat and other things, put explosives between the pieces of bread, and left them near the entrance of the village.

Then he hid himself to observe.

Soon some children came out, discovered the sandwiches, and began to eat them.

As he watched, the children began to cry and suffer terribly.

Their parents rushed out of despair.

They wanted to call an ambulance, but it was a very remote place and it was impossible.

The soldier knew that even if there had been an ambulance, it would be too late to save the children.

He watched the children die in agony in their parents' arms.

Ever since he returned to the United States he couldn't sleep.

He was in if if he was ever in a room alone with children, it was unbearable, and he would rush out as quickly as possible.

He could not talk about it to anyone except his mother, who could not hear it.

She said, My dear son, that's the nature of war.

Such things happen in war.

Do not blame yourself too harshly.

That did not help him at all, and he continued to suffer.

He could not forgive himself for having killed these five innocent children.

He told this story at the first retreat we held of Vietnam veterans.

It was a very difficult retreat.

Many veterans had come to the retreat on the advice of their psychotherapists, but they were suspicious that the retreat might be a kind of ambush in order to kill them, especially as a Vietnamese Buddhist monk was conducting the retreat.

One day during the walking meditation, I saw a veteran walking behind the group, following us at a distance of about twenty meters.

When someone asked why he didn't walk with us, he explained that if there was an ambush, if he stayed behind, he would still have time to run away.

Another veteran could not sleep in a dormitory.

He put a tent in the woods where he could sleep alone, and he set up traps around his tent in order to protect himself.

Many veterans could not say a word.

Oh my gosh.

One day I turned to the veteran who'd killed the five children with poison sandwiches and invited him to my room.

It's true you've killed five children, I said.

But it's also true that today you can save five children.

There are children dying everywhere in the world, including in the United States due to violence, poverty, and oppression.

In some cases it would take just a little bit of medicine, food, or warm clothing to help save a child.

I asked the veteran, why don't you use your life to save children like these?

You've killed some, but now you have the opportunity to save even more.

In the present moment you can heal the past.

Let me repeat that sentence.

In the present moment you can heal the past.

The practice of mindfulness is like a boat, and by practicing mindfulness, you offer you offer yourself a boat.

As long as you continue to practice, as long as you stay in the boat, you will not sink or drown in the river of suffering.

The veteran slowly took in these words.

He devoted his life to helping children, and in the process became healed by this work.

The present moment contains the past, and if you can live deeply in the present moment, you can heal it.

You don't have to wait for anything.

Until tomorrow, my friends.

So much love and ease.

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