I'm Drea.

I'm Meg.

I'm Tina.

And I'm Jess.

And this is Pardon My Stash.

Welcome to Pardon My Stash, a podcast about crafting within the fiber arts and how awesome it is.

Yeah.

Before we get into today's topics, let's check out what we're working on this week, guys.

Jess.

I'm still doing the cat sweater.

Are you?

Cat knit pullover sweater.

Yes.

I'm almost to the final increase row though.

And then I've got like nine more rows and then I'm done with the color work.

And I don't know if that's good or bad, honestly, because then it's just the same color going and going.

But I am getting there.

oh yeah i mean it is coming along it is and they're super cute and i'm sad that i'm just like you have almost full cats on this on this project i don't know why i'm having such issues with it but i am but i did also find another color work project that i'm like that looks cool so maybe that'll have me finish this one legitimately so i can start another one that i'm gonna have the same problem with probably but persevere I'm gonna persevere.

It's getting there.

Oh, I'm using Critical Hit Die Sorcerer in the colors Embers and Displacer.

Beautiful.

Dana?

I am working on...

The high -vis beanie because this is, I think, the only beanie I have left in my whips because I finished.

You are working through them.

I am.

I don't know why.

I think I just am trying to avoid everything else in my life.

Damn.

Fair.

The colors are neon yellow and neon orange in like a DK weight.

So I did finish the northward beanie, which is what I was, I think it was what I was working on last time.

It was.

By Tin Can Knits.

It's beautiful.

colorway sugar maple by sugar maple fibers in single ply bulky and it's very cute it is very you may touch it it's a little damp it's very it's very fall it's it feels like it's gonna be really cozy though yes like it's a little damp still but it feels like it's gonna be cozy oh that is nice look at you blocking okay but i had to for both of these because they were very small when i finished them And did that fix it?

It bloomed very nicely.

The northward was not even going over part of my head.

And then when I blocked it, now it's nice and fitted.

It's got nice plump cables, too.

I do like that.

Your cables are beautiful.

Meg?

So I am still working on Winter Light by Meg Gadsby.

Jess did, since last episode, Jess did take a look at my Siree sweater.

Yeah, I did.

After I nagged.

And she helped me figure out what I had to do.

And I was torn on which project I was going to work on tonight.

But I was inspired by a shout out to Jen on Instagram who said that, quote, the project monogamy is and then did the clap emoji.

So I'm going to stick with the project monogamy of the project that I've been working on.

So good.

That is good peer pressure right there.

It was real good.

Thank you, Jen.

Because I really was ready to go jump back to the sweater.

But I'm like, you know what?

I am.

I'm so close.

You are so close.

I'm so close to being done.

It looks so good.

With this shawl.

Like that fade is beautiful.

I'm working on it in fiber optics gradient in Texas blue bonnets.

I don't have a lot of yarn left, so we're getting there.

Nice.

So I don't know if I will completely stick with it until it is done, but I am trying really hard to stick with it until it is done.

I really want to finish the project.

Meg, I believe in you.

I believe in me, too.

You can do this.

Thank you.

Let me tell you, finishing one, once I finished the cocoa, I was like, I'm finishing this northward.

Right.

And for the first time in a very long time, I pulled out my knitting while I was sitting and watching TV, which for me is a big deal because I've really been only knitting with you guys.

Yeah.

But it's a high.

And then you want to keep chasing it.

Finish it.

I know.

Finish it.

I will feel that.

I really want to.

And again, I know we talk about.

A lot like it's not about like the quantity that you finish or anything like that.

I get it.

But for my own personal edification.

Only because you're so close.

Right.

I want to finish something.

I will be very happy when I finish something.

Drea.

I finished the happy turtle pattern.

He's very cute.

He is super cute.

Look at how big his eyes are and how.

floppy i like his floppy i like his floppy little flippers yeah he's cute yeah it's definitely an upgrade from uh the turtle pattern that i was doing from that which is also cute but yeah i don't know the floppy flippers the kit was a good start but now they're getting a little bit more involved and i like i love that for me yeah he's very very cute he is very cute i have started another happy turtle pattern I'm telling you, when you feel like it, look up Crafty Intentions because she has a ton of little creatures and they're lots of fun.

Let me tell you what released today.

What released today?

I am going to be making this.

Okay.

I am very excited.

Oh, my God.

It is a BLT Rex.

BLT Rex.

That's amazing.

I thought it was a taco at first.

She has a Tacosaurus, too.

That's great.

Also good.

Yes.

Fantastic.

And that's a pattern by Croutons Crochet.

And if you have not checked out her and her patterns, man.

That's cute.

She's got a lot of, like, food animals.

How do you choose one?

You can't.

I mean, once you start with a Bananasaurus, it's only inevitable that you end up with a BLT -saurus.

Truth.

It's true.

Slippery slope.

She's also got a Piceratops.

Oh, my God.

Oh.

I need that one just with a name.

I know.

It's.

It is super cute.

They're all super cute.

I bet.

So I'm going to be working through probably her entire series of food animals.

As you do.

As I do.

With turtles on the side because I am really enjoying this happy turtle pattern.

It's a great pattern.

As always, big twist, baby bear.

Happy turtle pattern by Happy Turtle Crochet.

By the way, because everyone keeps reminding me on Yarn Saver, Big Twist IP got picked up by Michaels.

Certain IPs.

So I don't know which one Michaels is going to have and which one Herschners is going to have.

Like, I don't know how the split's going.

But that means I don't think Herschners was going to pick a baby bear.

So I'm hoping Michaels is going to pick a baby bear because their original one that they tried to do with loops and threads that was supposed to be a competitor to is crap.

It's not as good.

It's crap.

I have purchased it.

It is not my favorite.

So I think they're trying to basically take the IP for the formula and then rebrand it as that.

Man, I hope so.

Because I don't think they're necessary.

I think they got the...

intellectual property to to take the like fiber content and like make the blend but i don't think they're gonna put it out as big twist baby bear so we'll have to see what happens michaels is advertising a lot about when we went there a couple what was it like two weeks ago two weeks ago and they had signs up saying like i don't know i don't think they said big twist but mentioning the joe like buying out some of the joanne's yarn so yeah yeah they definitely they definitely didn't buy all of them but i want to say that they bought the remainder because they had pre -sold a couple to like herschners and like other places but um it i mean it makes sense it's not going away hey yeah i hope not yeah well yeah and so if you were looking for it hopefully it comes out in a very similar fashion especially if they have the recipe for it so um that's good we're going to try something a little bit new moving forward we're going to introduce a new segment just a little ask us some stuff maybe we'll answer our first question that has run across our desks how does one block a dragon slash alligator scale stitch bag pitched by winter's eve 86 jess sincere I think I'm the only one that's made a dragon stitch bag.

No, I'm just kidding.

So full disclosure, I did not block mine, any of mine at all.

I find that once you fill them with enough stuff, they stretch the way you want them to.

And if they don't...

It needs more stuff.

I can see where that's an issue.

So what you can do, depending on what you used, honestly, a steam block is kind of your best bet just to loosen up the yarn a bit and let it rest.

I have seen people put like a balloon in the bag and then like blow up a balloon inside the bag to get it to a shape so it will keep that shape while it sets and then you pop the balloon and...

That's ingenious.

Let it do it.

But yeah, mine, I was like, nah, I like the way these look, and they were good.

But yeah, that would probably be best bet on to do it.

You probably could full soak and block it.

It'd be kind of flat.

You'd want to do one side, pull them a little bit, flip it over, and do the other side.

You can't really pin it.

It's okay.

Sometimes blocking is overrated.

Don't forget that.

All right, and we have time for one more.

This one has come from Chicken Nuggets.

If you could only knit one pattern for the rest of your life, what would it be?

That's a big oof.

It is.

But you know what?

I think my answer is going to depend on entirely when you're asking me.

Because if this was like 10 years ago, Drea, it would be Sunday Swing.

But if you're asking today, Drea, it's Happy Turtles.

Oh, God.

So it has to be a specific pattern, huh?

That's a tough one.

One pattern.

I would think so.

I would think, yeah.

I probably would make...

I really enjoyed the French can can.

That was so good.

And the only reason why I'm going to say the French can can is because I could do it now.

It has simple parts that I could do in front of a TV show.

And then it has a complicated enough part that would keep me interested.

And if I got to a point older in my life where I deal with pain in my hands and stuff, and I feel like I could still do that pattern in a disabled capacity, like I might be able to still knit that.

So I'll say the French can can.

It's a good one, though.

I've also made the French can can.

And it's a it's a really good project.

Do you know yours?

No, I'd die.

I would be so angry with the decision that I would just never knit again.

That's true.

That's fair.

Absolutely.

I feel like that's what would happen.

I would stare at the pattern and be like, no, I don't want to do this again.

I'm trying to think of anything I've done more than once.

The dragon stitch bag.

That's I think the only thing that I've ever seen you do.

Multiple.

Multiple times.

Yeah.

Everything else, like you've done incarnations of a similar nature, but not exactly the same.

Yeah.

Because I was, I'm going through it.

I'm like, did I do?

I'm like, no.

Even when I do the multiple dragons, they've all been different.

Yeah.

That is true.

They've all been different.

Some of them have used the same arms and legs but different but like I've changed everything.

Because I'm awful.

I'd die.

Okay.

Maybe phrase it this way.

You could use the same pattern but you can customize it at free will.

Right?

Like I would.

Still turtles.

Yeah.

I mean that's a good point.

Yeah.

Because you're not pulling from another pattern.

Like your cocoa bean.

Yeah.

It's the same pattern.

Yeah.

And I added a pearl row for no reason.

And that wasn't from another pattern.

So if you could embellish it.

Yeah.

So if you could customize it.

Dragon tapestry.

Oh, that's a good point.

Yeah.

You could change up the color work.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's a good one.

just just throwing a bone to jess because like i'm like thinking otherwise this one's a no i'm like going i'm like i don't think i've ever done i was just feeling the misery the same pattern ever yeah even the dragon stitch bag uh i've done it's the dragon stitch i've done it in different ways yeah like different sizes different amounts of scales meg I honestly thought about this one a lot and mine would be From Summer to Fall by Lea Michele Designs.

And the reasoning being that it is, it's got a couple of different stitch techniques in it.

So, you know, you're switching it up and it requires three skeins of yarn and the color combinations would be endless.

I love finding skeins that match or that complement each other.

And I would have a whole wardrobe of these extremely versatile shawls.

That's fair.

Right.

So I would literally just make different color combinations until the end of time.

That'd be mine.

I respect that.

I've been dying to make another one.

So I do that.

Turtles, tapestries and shawls.

Love it.

As it be.

I love that for us.

As one do.

All right.

Into our main topic, and I've put a lot of thought into this this week.

I'm very excited to present to you yarn jobs that should exist in the world.

They don't have to be practical, but man, they should be fun.

Wait, fun for the person doing them?

Or fun for me benefiting from the person doing them?

Yes.

Okay.

All of that.

Because, yeah.

I think it would be a lot of fun.

Also, just so you know, all of these jobs that we are going to pitch today, in our fantasy world, these are all high -paying, top -tier.

You can pay your mortgage.

You can pay that daycare.

You can pay your healthcare bills.

It's all paid, guys.

Highly desired, well -paying jobs.

Extensive training required.

Fully paid and free.

Makes sense of training.

Because, yes.

Benefits.

Oh, Lord, I hope so.

Treat yourself.

May I present to you the yarn sommelier.

Ooh.

Hang on.

I closed my notes.

Well, honestly, that should be a thing.

It should be a thing.

It's very realistic.

Think of it.

You compare your mood, your beverages, the situation that you find yourself in life, your existential crises.

You compare everything with the perfect yarn.

That's fair.

That is fair.

And sometimes it's really hard to tell what you need for all of those things.

You may think it's better to do like a more complicated project or even an easier project, but that's maybe not the case.

Yeah.

I just have this visual of this like really well -dressed fancy person holding like a tablet.

And as you answer things, they're like entering in things.

So it helps their formula.

And then they kind of look through the list and they're like, I got it.

And then they just go through all the racks and pull out this one skate.

And the person's like.

Are you feeling some existential overwhelm?

Might I suggest a nice alpaca silk blend?

Is that how you fix existential overwhelm?

I mean, it's not how we do it, but it's probably how she does it.

It's ethereal.

It's soft.

You can disappear into delicate stitches and a soothing drape.

I'm sorry.

The visual I just got was like going through a divorce, having some super washed merino wool.

It's versatile and it will get you through anything.

Truth.

Yes.

Truth be told.

Yes.

Do you need to channel some rage into some knitting or crafting?

Might I suggest some chunky wool?

Some super bulky.

Yeah.

You don't want anybody getting delicate with that.

No.

No.

You don't want it.

It's fast.

It's tactile.

Oh, you're feeling really, really murderous?

Might I suggest some felting?

Oh, yes.

Stab away.

I have a nice felting kit for you, madame monsieur.

Stab away.

Stab away all of your problems.

Oh, God.

That's funny.

Are you looking for some comfort?

Might I suggest a cotton bamboo blend?

Worsted weight.

It's breathable.

It's soft on the skin.

It's gentle on your hands.

And it's a thicker weight, so you won't make as much mistakes while you're crying through your project.

Exactly.

Absorbent.

Absorbent.

Oh, God.

I mean, that's a good, it's a good point.

Like, alternatively, a yarn sommelier is in theory so well trained that they can either help you or they can also hinder you.

Wait, so like evil sommeliers?

There could be an evil sommelier.

Like, I thought about this because I was like, man, like if I'm having existential overwhelm.

Can you imagine if the suggestion to me was like lace weight?

Here, do this lace weight shawl with 5 ,000 stitch repeats.

No.

I found some really nice Peruvian highland wool.

Pure.

No.

See, if I were an evil sommelier, I would pair that for somebody who was channeling some intense rage.

Or someone looking for comfort.

Well, for the rage victim.

Sorry, for the rage person.

Victim.

Oh, okay.

Okay, so is this like...

It's also hurting you.

So it's just like helping you channel your rage even more.

Like, I'm just saying.

Are these jobs or super villains?

Yes.

Okay.

I thought about this way too long this week.

Okay, I see that.

I looked for an upside and a downside.

Okay.

Well, yeah, I mean, practically speaking, not super villain murderous wise.

I like I could see like a yarn sommelier might put me off particularly because I hate being told what I need.

Yeah.

Not what to do.

Just what I need.

Like, you don't know me.

Even if you are correct, you don't know me.

I feel like that's the kind of job where you wait for someone to approach you.

Yes.

And ask your services.

You're not going around like a.

like you're trying to be psychic like oh I can see that you're channeling some intense feelings and I'm gonna push this yarn on you like so I sense the Pisces in your chart like no please don't yeah I feel like that's that's not that's not the kind of pushy salesperson job you want to have no that's no definitely I mean if you're going to a high -paid sommelier It should be a service that you want.

Yeah, if you are going to the event and that's what you're expecting and you seek them out.

The Yarn Sommelier has its own office.

This will not be at the common yarn shop.

I see.

You will not find the Yarn Sommelier at your local yarn store.

There's like a yarn lounge.

Yes.

You have to go to the high end.

I really wish there was a yarn...

Anyway.

Oh, God.

They have like an in -place daycare where they can take the kids and wash them for you.

While you go to the yarn sommelier.

While you get an hour of uninterrupted knitting or crochet or whatever project you want to work on.

Why not?

I would pay like 50 bucks for that.

Heck yeah.

100 bucks.

Hell, I'd pay 200 bucks.

Take my wallet.

Just give me the freaking hour.

Oh, God.

Meg, you have told me several times now that you have.

a yarn job that you wanted to share it's not it's not fun it's not fun um this would have to be quite high paying and i don't know how it would be possible um the job would be inspecting all hanks for knots before they're wound so that when i put them on a swift i do not get yarn bar okay but to be fair We need that.

That would be, that would make my whole crafting existence.

If that were a thing, if, if there was some, and this is not a possible job, I realize this is pie in the sky insanity, but.

Yeah but I want it Same The amount of cursing I do when I'm Doing the swift and all of a sudden it's You know you get that tangled mess Where somehow it Went underneath a yarn And now it just won't It wrapped the wrong way or I mean I would love a curator To check the skeins And make sure that doesn't happen Again I want that I know it's not possible.

I would do that job.

I would hate that job.

I would love that job.

That would be the opposite of me.

Would it should pay?

Like, I would, I don't know.

I feel like it's one giant puzzle.

So, yes.

Find the thing.

Yes.

But what you need to understand is that my capacity for patience for puzzles is about a one.

It's true.

It's awful.

Like a lot of these jobs are going to be like not a fit for everybody.

No.

People with no patience.

Yes.

Some people will like it.

I don't.

It's not for me.

Right.

It's not.

I could not do it.

Like I am words like word puzzles any day.

Figuring out how something works.

I'm going to spend about three seconds.

I'm going to toss it to Jess and be like, here you go.

Let me know when you figure that out because she likes it.

I don't.

In that same vein, though, how's about a director of not affairs?

Yeah.

Basically, that's a well -paid detangler.

Yeah.

So it's basically what Jess does, only I don't pay her.

sorry dude what the hell sorry you pay her in love i buy her legos yeah okay so you pay her like if you think about it that's a pretty high salary i buy her lego sets you know the lego sets encompass a lot of things it's true but yeah no somebody to untangle the yarn i'm not gonna lie you know if you spend some time dealing with the yarn barf and like dealing with all of the all of the tangled mess it is so satisfying to come to the end of the mess yes and i love that feeling it's not enough of a payoff for me to do it oh it's not i would do that too i have patience for that i don't have patience for stupidity and that's where i find my problems anyways like like a cobbler but for needles like a needle repair right like someone to kind of fix that that will fix it like if you get the bamboo they'll sand it down and make sure that or if it gets sticky or something they'll like repolish it or you know when ty hunts our circulars they'll fix the cable that he chewed little holes in yeah i love that cobbler i love that So you don't have to just toss out your stuff.

You can refurbish it.

Yeah, okay, it's a whatever.

But sometimes it's a nice needle set.

I don't want to toss it.

I just want it gussied back up to where it was.

That's a good one.

There's such a huge market for that right now, just in society.

I think everyone's disillusioned about just buy.

brand new and not fix it I think everyone's changing their mindset and like more wanting to mend to fix to just maintain what they have yeah it makes sense just to tossing it but there were other where it's like I like the feel of these needles they got my like hand they're perfect in my hands I don't want to like or the needles are fine but as you said like the cord is garbage and I can't use them anymore because they're not interchangeables yeah no that's a good point I like that It's a good one.

That is a good one.

And then the yarn sommelier would give you yarn to go with your fixed tools.

Yeah.

And the director of non -affairs would be in the other room in case you have those problems as well.

What you're saying is we're creating an agency of people.

Oh, man.

Craft agency.

What about kind of to go with the sommelier, a pattern librarian that you could go to and say, I'm looking for.

this i'm looking for like or i'm in this kind of mood and they help you find the perfect oh it's like someone or you're like i like these types of books is there a new one that you can suggest right like when you go to the librarian and you're like i really loved this book can you recommend me something like this yeah so like a fiber archivist yeah something like that i love that yeah like because sometimes you maintain a library of uh all yarns and books and patterns.

Discontinued patterns.

Oh yeah.

all of the world's crafting knowledge in one place like the library of alexandria but for crafting but it is because it's cool because it could be like look i really like this shawl but i can't find something similar like do you have a suggestion or or yes i do i love her shawl but it's crochet can you give me something similar in a knit pattern yes come this way right something like that i love that I where is this place located specifically in my brain right now what this agency has we have the first floor for repairs because you don't want to go to you're already sad we're not going to make you climb multiple stairs to go fix your things that you're sad about the librarians would probably be on the second floor with their whole floor of like stuff and then you would have like a services floor you know for not affairs in somalia what else do we the rooftop lounge the rooftop after you've gone through it all you can go relax on the rooftop if you're on the rooftop lounge do they have the disco brunch i think they should have the disco brunch we got guys And a craft themed bar.

We need the bar with all the craft themes, but it also comes in like the non, like, you know, you've got your virgin.

Are you saying that we need to have a craft services table?

Yeah.

Yep.

Exactly.

A what?

A craft services table.

Sometimes we'll have some craft beers.

Oh my God.

Actually, there is, what is her name?

Oh God, this is going to kill me.

There is someone who just with her husband did, it's a half a library.

No, no, no.

Half a yarn store, half library with a bar in it.

Oh, can I move in?

it no I don't remember her name oh that sounds great but yeah it was like a it's like she had like a all these basically made it like a destination like you can go there and like enjoy and like get books you get yarn you get knit you can lounge you can like That sounds delightful.

They don't have any of those places anymore.

And I can understand why a lot of those loungy type of areas have shut down just because they just get destroyed.

It doesn't matter.

Like people abuse the crap out of them.

But like, man, I would pay a membership fee to have access to a lounge area.

Yeah.

The Crafting Country Club.

Yes.

Oh, man.

Oh, God.

So funny.

Yes.

Yes.

And I want us to have a club trophy.

For what, though?

What would it be?

well we'd have to yeah well if it's a country club we they have to win things right right at some point so maybe we just give superlatives out at some point you know to our members here's what you can do too like if you want you can like we'll have like a wall of honor and there's like you can donate like a ribbon of something you've entered somewhere and we'd like display it with the pictures and everything and links to the pattern and like such community Such peace.

Too bad we don't have millions of dollars.

Yeah, we don't.

Okay, so Treya, as we fantasize, what else you got?

What about a chief cozy officer?

To do?

A CCO?

A CCO.

They curate blanket designs that meet maximum snuggle standards.

I like that.

They also field test all blankets.

Oh, well, I'm going to do that.

Designated nap times.

I like that.

Yes, I like that for me, too.

You know, and they could have like a swatch library almost.

Yeah.

So you could like squeeze and test the.

Yes.

Like it wouldn't be in like all sizes.

It wouldn't be for like measuring the swatch, but it would be for a petting zoo.

It would be like for squeezing.

Or touching to be like, do I really like this fabric?

Do I like this combination of yarns?

Before I make it into a sweater.

Right.

And testing it for how is it going to react when it blocks.

Yeah.

I like that.

I like that too.

Yes.

Would not excuse you from swatching.

No.

But the CO would let you know what the fabric is like.

Yes.

Yes.

COO would still say you need to swatch still.

Yes.

Well, because you don't know your own tension.

You don't know your own tension and you may not use these same needles.

Yep.

A scrap strategist.

Oh, what to do with your scraps.

Creates patterns and projects.

With leftover yarn scraps.

Oh, you can donate your leftovers if you're worried about like stuff.

You donate your leftovers into a jar.

Instead of waste.

Instead of waste.

Yarn saver is, I take that for stuffing.

There's places that will make like animals for kids.

Like they have little craft groups that will make animals for kids.

And if I get stuff that's pretty much just going to be scrap or it's like unusable, little bag, they like basically like shave it all up and then stuffing.

I love that though.

Yeah.

A color work connoisseur.

So this is something that like, so my mom, I brought this up before, she loves to quilt.

My mom really struggles with do these patterns, do these colors really go together?

Do they actually complement each other?

Are they fighting each other?

Somebody like that.

Or if you could go and say like, I have this really special skein that I want to use, but in a project that pairs, what would look good with this?

he had like a color chip room with them like the paint place right like the pantone yeah yeah and so you could kind of see like what your options are if you're going for something warm or cool and what colors complement something like that yeah sometimes that can be really hard figuring out not everybody has like a firm grasp on like color theory That too.

Or also like these two colors could go really well together for like, say this project, but for this project now we're, now we're struggling.

They're fighting each other.

Yeah.

So something like that.

If you, if you are lost.

Yeah.

Cause sometimes colors are surprise you by the way they go together.

But if you have someone who knows that, that'd be awesome.

Like, I know this sounds weird, but trust me.

It's like, yeah, that would be cool.

I would love that job.

I mean, I have like ones that would be for like illegal enterprises, but not like legit jobs, like a yarn smuggler.

Which actually is so necessary because let me tell you, getting all this yarn from Portugal was ridiculous.

This Portuguese yarn is so nice.

So like, but like it's illegal.

So like you wouldn't really get money like a salary.

It would be more like, you know, laundered through a laundromat at your local town.

Like I can advise criminals.

I can't advise for right, like legal jobs.

Please don't.

Please don't investigate.

Okay, no, but here's the thing.

There's like the Canadian dude that takes stuff from Trader Joe's.

Yes, I love that guy.

Canada didn't have a Trader Joe's, so he goes...

I had nothing about this.

Yeah, so he's from Vancouver and he comes down to the United States and he buys like a...

of stuff from trader joe's and then he brings it back up to canada where he has his own shop called not trader joe's it's something like that yeah yeah it's something similar like that and they tried to sue him and they lost like they did yeah so whoever his lawyers are like maybe the smugglers need that yeah yeah but they also banned him from many of the trader joe's so now he employs other people to do it for him or wears disguises this is crazy wow but yeah so apparently there are legal ways to do this so i just need to get this guy's lawyers yes and then see start bringing suitcases see how to do it legally yeah Now I just have this visual of I put a shipping container full of illegal yarn and then this guy opens it up from customs and he's like, we're taking them down.

I got three tons of pure merino.

What is this cotton?

Is this cotton?

Ma 'am.

It's a wool blend.

I'm sorry.

yeah that's it's just nice thinking about all of these like fun hypothetical jobs that would really get you out of bed every day yeah i mean i would not be signing up to to be a not untangler but again like like you said there's a job for everybody and if they're paying high like and there's benefits heck yeah can you imagine if this agency ever got off the ground What a life we could live.

I have another one.

A pattern translator.

Oh, like that would be a department.

It would be a whole department.

And I know that there's lots of people that like help translate several different patterns.

But to say that all patterns are translated is would be facetious.

Right.

So but it would be great if like someone could come in and be like, I have what was one of them that you got was in German or Russian.

And Jess could come in and be like, hello, I have this Russian pattern and I'm struggle bussing.

Can you please translate this for me?

And they would just be like, absolutely.

No problem.

You know.

Sylvia come over here and look we have somebody for every language yes yep yep yes polygots would love that job the chart translators too it's like hey can you translate this this graph into text or text into you know like yeah now I now I have a visual sorry my brain um now I have a visual of something coming in with a crochet chart and be like can you translate this and there's just this sassy front -end lady who's just like what the heck is that we're not doing that we're gonna have to outsource this one yeah it's gonna be cost extra i can't i cannot under like i don't know how she does it listen sometimes looking at the crochet charts i'm like i probably it's just spite she bought like the book the pattern for the blanket that she was crocheting came in like a book and i'm flipping through and i'm like i have no idea what any of this is like oh my goodness some of it is very clear and there's other parts where i'm like what yeah no those that's a whole other where's the rest of it and i keep in mind like if you are a a you know the first time you go to read a knitting pattern you've never read one before like you're gonna feel similarly but wow like yeah oof It would be nice, too, if in this fictional agency building that we have currently, that's probably at nine stories at this point, would be if there was a spot, too, where you can bring knitted items that need new homes.

Not yarn, but like actual finished objects.

Like if they don't fit anymore or they don't serve you anymore.

You don't like how they look on you.

I know there's that app that does like swaps, but it would be nice if you could just be like, hi.

I have this sweater.

I lost a hundred pounds.

This doesn't fit me anymore.

What do I do with it?

And they'd be like, oh, okay, we will find a good home.

And then they do cute little videos and they're like, they're great with other sweaters.

I do like the swap idea.

The adoption.

Adoption.

It's adoption agency.

Adopting it.

Yeah.

Adopting it.

Good with kids.

Adopt a finished object.

Yeah.

That would be nice.

Yeah.

Adopt a fob.

A fob?

Finished object.

Foe just sounds like you're going to fight something.

So you got to go with the OB.

What does the B stand for?

Object.

Oh, stop.

That took too long.

Oh my God.

Listen, nobody said we were scholars at this table.

Look, we have big ideas.

We just can't, you know.

The manifestation is a little bit harder.

It is.

Our job is not to spell.

Our job is to dream big.

Our job is to be dreamers.

We're dreaming.

So basically all we need at this point is a giant budget.

from some benevolent billionaire who actually isn't a terrible person and wants to support the fiber arts.

And then we need a team of people who are really good at doing stuff and getting stuff together.

Oh, that's not us.

Yeah.

And then the board of dreamers would be people like us who are just like, oh, you know, it'd be a good team.

Oh, my God.

Look, we're the think tank.

Okay.

Yeah, the think tank.

That's a think tank spell.

It is.

Yeah.

we're just thinking we're not spelling okay we're not doers and we definitely don't have money oh god yeah definitely yeah um so yeah hey you know what though i mean it is it's nice to dream about like in a perfect world look some people dream about what they're gonna do when they win the lottery some of us like to dream about what a perfect crafting world would look like in a singular building If I won a jackpot and it was multi millions of dollars, there would there.

I wouldn't say anything, but there would be signs because this agency would be upright.

There would be signs.

There would be signs.

It would just be in some.

She'd pop on part of my session, but just so as y 'all know, here's the address.

Here's our opening hours.

You can get discounts on your membership fee if you test it for people.

Oh, you know, I'm discount.

I'm also just picturing like a giant building, like an enormous building.

Do you know how many of those empty corporate buildings are around here?

Many.

But, you know, instead of like a name on the building, you know, buildings generally have the name of the business or whatever on there.

We just have a giant mustache.

no explanation but you will know and if you know you know if you know you know and and the test knitter idea jess is also a plus because there was always complaints that they don't get compensated enough but now you can go to the mustache building wow that's you can go to the mustache building and make all your yarn dreams come true yep yep and we will support all crafts Guys, what a dream.

I am dying at the mustache building.

No, there is definitely a whole bunch of commercial buildings that are not in use right now.

And I know they are clamoring for some action.

I'd be like, sir, like, you know, this is the four of us pitching and Dre would be like, but sir, we could put a giant mustache on the outside of your building.

It will be a landmark for the nation.

You know, somebody out there is looking for some mustache accent and we're ready to get action.

Did you say mustache?

I did.

I said what I said.

Well, that's all we have for tonight.

God.

Just saying.

On that note.

That is it for this week's episode.

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Laughs, love, llamas.

That part of my stash.