Scrubbing In with Beka Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast, Hello everybody.

We are scrubbing It didn't There used to be a jingle, didn't.

We used to say something.

You would have heard the jingle if no.

No, didn't used to say like a thing, scrub a dub dub in the tup or something.

Thank you.

Yes, I used to say scrub a dub dub and the.

Listeners didn't like it, and I got sick of defending myself, so I succumbed to and conformed to You.

Got voted out on that.

Yeah, there was a heated debate in the Facebook group and a lot of people didn't care for it.

How about that scrubbing in life with my scrubbing in wife?

Wow?

Really nice?

Wow?

Yeah there was another one she did for a little bit.

Oh yeah, it's tills and yat and the scrubbing and pad.

Yeah that's good too.

They didn't like that.

I like that.

Really got work on posture.

In case you don't know, Becca Tilly is not here this week.

She is in Japan, but here joining us as a co host is my husband, Robbie Ellid.

It feels so nice and weird to say husband.

I'm still not used to it, and it's been like almost a year.

I know it is weird to say wife, right, I think I'm used to it now you are?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you love it.

I do love it.

Yeah, Okay.

So I was thinking about just like having you as a co host, and it's so weird because we spend all of our time together, like we So I was like, normally, you know, we have different things that we do over the weekend, different things that we're watching, but like you and I basically do the same thing.

We watch the same thing.

So Tiny's nervous about this.

Yeah, she's nervous about this.

Did earlier she was like, we're gonna talk about it.

She should be nervous every day.

Why, Because I have a bone to pick with all of you.

I'm gonna do it right now at the top of the show, and conveniently Easton is not here, and conveniently Becca is not here.

But we I've been waiting patiently for I don't know how long it's been to confront each of you about the unsolicited attack on my sleep wear routine.

Multi front unsolicited attack from everybody.

I was most hurt by Easton.

We'll talk to Easton, but that shocking Mark.

We'll talk to you in a second.

You cut me deep.

That was there's certain things that are not meant for the air.

But it's fine.

I'm happy it's out there.

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

But let's make something very very clear.

Thing with pants and underwear on is insane.

It's normal.

That is insane.

Of people sleep with some sort some form of bottomwear.

Okay, we put some form of bottomwear, but double is you're fully clothed, You're fully Nobody wears underwear and pajama pants.

Pajama pants are the bottom the bottom or underwear.

It's interesting because I was going to say, even if I used to maybe sleep in just underwear when I was a younger man, when I have kids, now I'm wearing pants because you're up in the middle of the night, you're going back and forth.

It's it's like I don't want them to deal with my that that.

Reminds me of a ridiculous story of when I was a kid and I used to sleep naked, and there was an earthquake at my house.

I'll get to that in a second.

But but and not to be this might get a little too personal, but like don't don't you need to be free down there?

Like like I don't like free Like okay, again, this is not about you specifically want to talk about it, but like morning wood is a scientific fact.

No, it's a scientific fact.

Yes it is.

Okay, when you have.

Underwear and pants on, that's got to be very uncomfortable.

It's not you hyothetically, it's all uncomfortable that happens from time to time when you have pants on, it doesn't.

It's not.

Yeah, during the day when I'm not asleep, I don't.

I don't want I mean when I'm sleeping, I want to be comfortable.

See, Okay, No, this is not we reap what we saw.

I can't have I can't have part touching other parts.

I can't have skin on skin.

I can't have any of that stuff.

I'm not sure there's a skin on skin issue.

But that's also like I don't I don't mind the skin on skin at all, Like like you don't like if you're like if you're like what if your net legs touch?

Yeah, like he puts a pill on between his life.

Yes, I can't have.

My pants underwear and.

My knees touch each other, and I'm in bad.

I can't.

Also, well, that's never mind.

Like if you're wearing pants, they don't touch.

No, they do touch.

There's it's it's too thin of a layer because they were very thin, so thin sweatpants and my knees are touching each other.

It's it's too much.

I can't do it.

My sister has the same affliction we can't have.

She wears the thing between her boobs.

Have you looked into this?

Is this like something that like I don't know about the way you were raised.

I don't know, but it must be I wonder why.

Yeah, well, wow, that was unexpected.

I just would like to say that I did not share that piece of information.

Becca is the one who shared it.

And I probably jumped on it like I know you did.

That's why I'm coming for you.

But it's so funny.

But Becca brought it up.

Yes it was.

It was innocent.

I was innocent.

Oh wow, this changes everything.

Yeah, I was the innocent one.

Becca brought it up because I think she had just discovered it.

Yeah, I know when she discovered it.

Because you brought it up at a dinner.

Yes, yes, that multiple people.

Yes that I will follow.

The sword, but I did not bring it up on the podcast.

That was definitely Becca.

This whole time, I thought it was you and you, and then Easton jumped on, and I thought Becca was innocent.

No, Becca was not innocent.

You told me it was cold in here.

It is so hot.

I'm like sweating.

Yeah, it's anyway very cold in here.

My favorite part is that your shoulders get cold, and that's why you wear the shirt.

That's my favorite.

But so I used to sleep when I was younger, totally naked.

Natural.

Yeah, oh natural.

I think that's the way God intended it.

Okay, But then two things happened.

One I was young, I must have been like twelve and eleven, twelve something like that.

And there was an earthquake in the middle of the night, and.

The ninety four north Ridge earthquake.

It wasn't ninety Yeah, must been ninety four.

Yeah, must be ninety four, which was fifteen, which is even worse.

Wait was it ninety four?

Yeah, it must have been ninety four, and yeah, that makes it worse.

And so I woke up.

We had a we had a we had like a we had like a plan and the event of an earthquake, like what do we do right as a family, And the plan is that we all like go get under doorways.

And so I woke up, made sure I got my younger brother who was right down the hall, and then went to my parents' room and we were all in the doorway, like you know, huddled up in the doorway with each other.

And it wasn't until like, you know, minutes after when the shock of like being in the middle of an earthquake wore off, that we realized that I was just buttoning the only one that was but like huddled up with my whole family.

Yeah, So that so from that moment on we changed things.

But no, the shirt we wear sheets covers for a reason if there were you don't want to be cold in the middle of the ninety I'm very delicate, my favorite.

But you came around on that, you said.

Yes, yes, I wore a shirt to sleep one night, and I was like, oh, it's kind of nice, like having.

My shirts down for you.

He goes, I know what you mean, now, I know what you.

Mean now, yeah, because like normally I'm grabbing the sheets and like putting them as far over me as humanly possible, you know what I mean.

Like, I'm like, that's just barely little heads.

Yeah, but when you wear your T shirt, you don't have to.

Yeah.

Sometimes you get it.

You want an arm out.

Sometimes you just want to.

Like yeah, so it's nice.

I get it.

Believe me, I get it.

The visual, the whole thing is a little bit.

It's very effeminated.

It took me a while to come to terms with the fact that it was, like, it's so funny.

And I will say, it's like one of the most what's the word, most common question I get asked about you.

But since all this went down, I've tried to wear like loose you know, loose boxers, and I can't do it because of you know, freedom issies.

Yeah.

Free.

I want to be free.

My boys need a house.

As Kramer once said.

We want to live that.

Yeah, I'm a big.

Yeah wow unexpected.

Well but EA said, I still I got it.

We will.

You can have your moment with Easton as well.

But now that I know that Becca was the ring leader here, she.

Was She wasn't the ring leader.

It was an innocent mistake.

She just like said it and then they all jumped on it, and then it was like too far gone to put back in the box.

I don't believe it.

But you're saying it's nice.

Now you're free.

Yeah, nothing's off limits anymore, is that right?

Yeah, that's right.

Well that's a good question.

Actually, do you guys have that conversation you sometimes you talking to Tanya and then you have to say, by the way, this is not for the podcast.

I swear well yeah, no, uh, I swear on everything.

This was like the only thing I've ever told her between us, because I get it is ridiculous.

Since then, nothing I don't say yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sometimes I say like this is not for social media, or like this.

Is just what have you ever said that?

Very rare, no, very rarely, but but I do know, yeah, I say, don't post that.

Yeah yeah, yeah, not because like I look ugly or anything like that.

I'm like, that's just for us, or I do from time to time.

I've done it.

There was a time recently I did it.

I told you to take something down.

Actually, yeah, but that's different.

Okay, Thanksgiving and you just didn't want the family to like see.

Yea, yeah, yeah that was different.

But I've done a couple.

It's very rare.

It's very it's very rare.

I can't think of something I don't post or share.

That's the thing.

I don't care, like I'm I don't care.

There's like almost I don't get embarrassed.

It is very fortunate.

Like a lot of people when uh actually just at jingle Ball, they were saying, like, it's so lucky that you ended up with somebody like Robbie because you just kind of in it, like you go with it, you don't really care, You're not.

Like I think that there's that.

I don't like, not the fact that I don't get embarrassed, or like I don't care, Like I don't care, like I can be like the butt of a joke or like whatever, Like I don't like it doesn't bother me.

I think it's funny and fun That's different though, because like I was not so comfortable being so public, irrespective of just like embarrassing or anything like that.

I wasn't so comfortable being public.

And at the beginning of our relationship, I.

Know, look you now I can like film you in bed, like.

Yeah, but it's that good about it?

Who Yeah, it's good for you.

Yeah, so this is like the part of the show where we kind of like talk about our weekend and catch up and so what did you do this weekend?

Babe?

Yeah, we sent every second together this weekend.

What did we do this weekend?

So, first of all, we had jingle Ball on Friday.

And you're obsessed with mister Fantasy.

I I love mister Fantasy.

So I had no idea you love miss Fantasy.

Now you're a little you don't know what to make of mister Fantasy.

Yeah, like I'm on the fence about it.

I love the whole thing.

I had no idea who he was when we got there, and I didn't know who he was until after he started to like do his whole thing with Ryan, and I was like, right there, just.

A quick note, you are filming, you are recording yourself, right, yeah, okay, great, thanks?

Great posture.

We how's your posture?

Bad?

Yeah, we got to work on our posture.

Okay, although this looks so weird, Okay, No, I love the whole thing.

First of all, I love the whole like alter ego, concept and idea.

But then this character he created is so just incredible, from his fashion to his like positive energy.

He's so positive and funny that he could like do things that nobody else would get away with doing because he's just so like committed to it and hilarious.

So I thought it was great.

I love the whole thing.

The energy it takes to do that was mind blowing to you because he was NonStop all night on and then we found out he was at the King's game like the next night, and then at this and that, and he's like, it's it's it's unbelievable.

Yeah, you tried to call him out, Yes, so he people.

If people don't know who mister Fantasy is, you should give him a Google.

But the word is that it's the actor kJ Appa from Riverdale who's doing a new character trying to launch a music career.

Is he's not.

Mister Fantasy who has the identical tattoos the kJ Appa.

But anyway, it's just kind of an interesting social media phenomenon right now.

Yes, and now we're chalking out on TikTok because he's unreal.

I was like, hey, mister Fantasy, I just want can you tell your friend that.

He was good in the Jonas Brothers movie?

And he was like, what friend?

What friend Joe.

Jonas and I was like, no, kJ Appa, he did not he.

Did Yeah, he did not break it fully in it.

Yeah, So that was definitely a highlight of of jingle Ball for sure because.

Nie of us knew who he was, so like, it was just so shocking because we're in uh, we're in the like gifting sweet suite and there's probably like fifty sixty people in there, but it's very like calm and subdued and low key.

It's not like everyone is just like minding their business, you know, like doing their thing.

And then Ryan comes in.

And when Ryan comes in, it's like, you know, he does a he has a he has a routine that he's got, you know that he does and says hi to everybody.

And in the middle of like this out of nowhere, mister Fantasy just blows the whole thing up, starts screaming from the background.

Royan Seacrest, Royan Secret.

And then like because it's just it's it was really cool.

Yeah, yeah, it was cool.

Yeah, And it was a great introduction to the guy.

And how is it a jingle ball watching Tanya in her element, like that is her wa and she's and she's working and she is.

That is that A I love it.

I've always loved it.

I think it's like, uh, I think it's really important to admire your partner separate from like how much you love her or him or care about him.

I think you have to admire them as like an individual.

And watching Tanya in her element, like I admire her talent.

Her grace, her.

Energy, you know, and just yeah, I just admire your you and what you do and how you do it, not having been like a trained broadcast or anything, and just like having just on the sheer like strength of your energy frankly creating this world and career for yourself and then seeing it kind of wherever it is jingle ball or wherever.

I love that.

And you've never got to see him in his element, right, You've never been in court to watch him.

I don't go to court, you don't.

She sees elements a lot because what I do is like conference calls or I sit in my opposite draft documents or negotiate deals, and oftentimes she is like within earshot of calls.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, So I do see.

Him as he's a big like pacer when he's on pacing around the house, pacing around the room.

Yeah, talks with his hands a lot.

Exciting.

It's definitely not exact.

Definitely actually like feel bad sometimes, Like when I hear him on calls, like, I'm just like.

It just sounds so painful.

Yeah, it's really it's that, I mean, and that's why the like so like at the end of every day we come home and we're like, you know, how was your day?

Like this is the most important part of our days to tell each other how each other our days was.

If I don't properly tell her how our day was, like, that's bad.

My days are so boring, Like her days are so exciting.

She's interviewing this person, that person.

You know, She's there's all kinds of exciting stuff.

For me, is I'm sitting in office negotiating a dealer, drafting a long document all day.

But maybe I get like a nice lunch.

I always ask him at the end of the day and he's like, yeah, my day was fine.

I'm like I need more than that, Like what did you have for lunch?

Who did you talk to?

What deals did you close?

Like I can't tell you most of what I do.

I mean, I can tell you things I on a non non descript basis.

But yeah, I mean, yeah, I'm saying their eyes glaze over.

Yeah, I just say comparatively, it's so boring.

That's my favorite part of the day, is like when we get home at the end of the night and like share about our days.

It's my favorite.

Even though I don't give you much to I get it out of you.

I keep going until I get what I want.

I do usually remember things days later.

That crazy thing that happened that day.

Yeah, that is a weird thing.

I don't know why I don't remember.

Yeah, let's take a break, and then I have a question for Robbie dealing with the things that she makes you do and that you go along with but probably don't actually want to go along with.

And that's my d's for you.

And we'll do that when we get back.

And we're back.

Scrub a dub duba.

That was my fault.

That was my fault.

Scrub a dub dub.

All right, Robbie.

Tanya sent us over and we talked about this with Ryan.

The December marriage challenge.

Oh, yes, you didn't really want to do this, right, Like this was when she presents this to you.

What goes through your head.

She's like, here's what we're going to do.

It's a different thing every day for all thirty one days of December.

It's a different marriage homework assignment.

What goes through your head?

I don't remember what it is?

Yeah, I'm sware.

This came up a few days ago someone hosted on her Instagram or somewhere on social media in her universe.

Maybe it was a iHeart Facebook group like.

We need Robbie and Tanya to do the marriage challenge.

And I'd screenshot her and send it to her and said, what is the marriage challenge?

And she apparently sent this to me the day before.

I don't remember it.

I don't know what it is.

What is it?

Should we do it right now?

So it was like a thing I saw on Instagram.

I said to you and I said we should do this, and you said yeah, for sure.

And then the problem is I never followed through.

Well I have what is it?

Every single day?

Like December?

First, say one thing you admire about your spouse?

Yeah, yeah, okay, I do remember that.

Yeah yeah, okay.

Last it didn't last, but you were into it.

I mean, listen, would I choose to do those things myself?

No, but I'm very happy to do it if it is meaningful to you, Like.

Yeah, but it's not meaningful to him.

Correct, No, but it's but it do you have that it's me But okay, hold on hold, it's not like again, I would never choose to do that.

It's not something wet, never a milliona years.

But but that doesn't mean that it's not meaning so like, there's so many things that you I mean, there's small sacrifices, and there's big sacrifices sacrifice for love.

But it's but it's meaningful to make to do something for your partner even if you don't necessarily want to do it, or even more meaningful if you.

Don't want to do it.

I think, such as walking uphill instead of walking.

No.

No, like family meetings, like I actually think like you would never do those yourself, but I do think you actually enjoy them.

No, I would do family meetings.

I think family meetings are really really important and great.

I love like when we like plan and like coordinate things.

I love that part of it.

But we got into like a couples therapy.

Part of it.

Far we're gonna do it.

I like the planning coordinating.

No, we need it.

You got to talk to the microphones planning and the coordinating.

We need it.

Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, no, he likes it.

Oh I I called them sometimes he does.

Well, it's rare, I do.

Okay.

So there's a couple of things like we never had you want after the wedding.

But I don't know, it just feels like the wedding was so far away from now.

Can you believe that has been.

Long?

Nine months?

It's so crazy.

I feel like there were some questions that I asked on my Instagram for people, like ask people if they wanted to ask you questions?

Yeah, and do you mind if I ask you a couple of those?

Right now?

You can ask me whatever you want, Okay.

Was it hard having a Christmas tree?

I'm Jewish marrying a non Jew, and it feels wrong.

No, Christmas trees are amazing.

First of all, I'm very reformed Jew, so I'm not like super ultra religious.

I'm a high holiday Jew basically, and you know, you, Christmas is like in a in large part like almost like non nomin I don't know what the word is, but like yeah, it's yeah, exactly, it's you know, it's there's something just like that is generally applicable to the holidays.

You grow up every.

Year going skiing, you know, in the winter, and you know that's full of like Christmas trees and that Christmas energy and that Christmas vibe.

All the movies you watch like as a kid growing up or like around Christmas.

So like the feel good part of Christmas is great, and I just think it's an awesome holiday.

So was it weird for a Christmas tree?

No, I liked it.

And the first time we did a Christmas tree was was like actually just like again a really like special, meaningful, like bonding moment for us.

Yeah.

The first Christmas tree ever decorated was it was right before COVID, so it's December between.

Somber, Yeah, December.

It was the first Christmas tree he'd ever decorated in his life, which I thought was so like special, and he did it.

With me, and I went and I bought.

I went to like Creighton Beryl I'll never forget, and I bought all these ornaments to bring right but like some of them were like whatever, some of them were like meaningful, and then we bought like.

Matching ones because he was like, they told me you have to get two or three of the same ones.

I was like, yeah, they got me, they got me.

It was really cute though.

That was great.

No, I love it and and you know, we blend it.

We like do like a Christmas tree, but it's like, you know, maybe not red and green, it's like white and blue and then we have like you.

Known, that's all.

Yeah, it's great.

In my neighborhood that decorates their whole house white, blue, Manora's Star of David.

Fantastic.

Yeah, I want everyone to decorate their house this month for whatever whatever theme you want to do.

Yeah, it's great.

What's the best thing, Tanya that's me has done for your boys?

I'm a bonus mama too.

Oh my god, you you know you've done.

I'm gonna this.

I'm gonna try to get emotional, but that's going to be impossible.

But you've done so much for them.

I mean, you know, there's the kind of express things that you do.

So like the fact that you write a note every morning for Sebby that is like topical and has to do with whatever's going up.

That's topical and has to do with whatever's going on in our lives.

Is unbelievable and you would do it for Oliver if you wanted it, but Oliver is too cool for that now.

But and this is the the emotional part, more than like the things you do on a day to day basis, it's the energy that you've created and the security and and feeling of home and family that you've brought to our house, including you know, spearheading the sunny getting sunny.

So I think I think you do a lot of very constantly thoughtful, intentional things that are you know that you that is just kind of like who you are.

But what that has meant from an from again, from an energy perspective in our our house and and our family, I think is the most important.

Is there like tissue?

Yeah?

Otherwise I was like, sure.

Not gonna feel so nice.

But it's not bad.

Oh my gosh, that made me emotional.

Okay, I'm just a little more lighthearted.

Where do you shop?

Always looking so put together?

I don't shop.

I don't know what I did.

First of all, I'm in a style crisis right now.

Can we talk about that more than where I shop?

Yeah, I'm forty six years old and like, up until two years ago or a year ago, I was wearing like super super tight pants and had a certain thing, and now like that's not cool anymore.

I don't know.

Maybe that was not cool for a couple of years when I was still doing it, but so now we got to wear like baggy pants or like looser pants, and.

I don't know, like how to make all that work.

So I don't know.

I feel like I'm in a soul christ.

I feel like an eight year old when I wear baggy pants.

But uh no, I don't know my shop.

I fall for all the like instagram like stores and just like whenever I have time, I like, but I hate like actually shopping.

But that's very nice that you think I have.

Good Are you're transitioning to a different phase in your life?

Oh?

Yes, for sure?

Yeah yeah have you noticed it?

Do you feel like he dresses too young?

No, I don't think you're.

Just too young, But like, I mean, his pants used to be tighter than mine and now he wears like baggy pants.

It was crazy in hindsight, how tight my pants are.

It's crazy.

So I like the evolution good good, Yeah.

But I gotta be able to pull it off in an elevated fashion.

So if anyone has any tips out there, so how to do that?

Yeah, well you refuse to put headphones on, and you keep not speaking in a microphone.

When they miss it's just like it's like talking.

Like this, and it's like this and this and.

This and this.

I need a clip on, a clip on.

He didn't want to wear headphones because they didn't want to look silly on the camera.

The deal.

Yeah, the hair looks nice, but you're in a radio studio that people wear headphones here.

I know, but I think we got to I think that that we need to not look like we're in a radio studio.

That's what I think.

Yeah, Robbie has some pointers for the Scrubbing In podcast, which we can't also get into.

How was Robbie's first time meeting Ryan?

Do you remember your first This is the funniest thing is I don't remember the which is so weird that I don't remember the first time meeting Ryan.

I feel like I would remember that, but I've I've had the opportunity to like spend an okay amount of time and they're gonna hang out with him a few times.

Uh, and I you know, it's just he's he's the man.

I mean, Ryan's the best.

We get along really well.

We're around the same age, we know a lot of the same people.

I feel like he likes you better than me.

I think that.

I think that you're you're an employee, You're an employee, co worker.

You're a co worker.

But I'm saying, like, it's a it's a it's a working relationship.

You guys are friends too, no doubt about it.

But like that, I mean, that's it's different.

Yeah, but yeah, no, we get along.

I think, you know, Ryan's a really good dude.

He's always been, I mean, another guy that I like, admire so much and love like any chance I get to like talk to him or learn from him, which I've had a few opportunities, thankfully.

I love that.

Yeah, No, we got a lot.

Ryan's the best.

Do you remember the night we met?

Yeah, I do remember the night we.

Met outside outside of Ryan's house, That's right.

I do remember that I was picking up Tanya.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's that's crazy.

I remember that.

I remember that very well, and I remember ever about thirty seconds being like, oh this guy's this is a good guy.

I remember you were like very protective of Tanya.

Very Yeah, it's a long time.

It's a long time.

Yeah, and a lot of duds, yeah, well a lot and so, but when I met you, it was I got non dud energy almost instantly.

Thank you, almost instantly.

Oh sure, what do you mean?

There was a period of time where he thought I was a.

What early days?

No, I didn't.

No.

This is this one that kind of kept coming up a lot too.

What's the best advice for a woman getting into a marriage with a man with kids?

That's a tough And then on the heels of that, when did he show that he had kids while navigating dating?

I'm a single mom.

Why don't we take a break and you can think about this.

Yeah, we'll come back with the answer.

That's you know, people will want to hear that, So they're gonna hear all these wonderful goods and services, and then they kind of back and here Robbie's answer.

Here we go, and we're back.

Okay, So we left you hanging on a big cliffhanger.

There were a couple questions about what's the best advice for a woman getting in to a marriage with a man with kids, and then kind of dovetailing into when did he share that he had kids while navigating dating.

I'm a single mom.

So yeah, let's start with the second one.

I deny.

I mean I it was on my hinch profile.

Yeah, you you had photos with the kids on your dating app.

Yeah, I think, and I put, I think I'm a dad.

Whatever I was not for me, it was important for people to know right away.

I mean, it wasn't.

There was no like delay in telling someone I had kids.

So yeah, so that's the answer to the second one.

I think on the first one, like, what's the best advice?

Oh man, you know, that's something that I think that is probably deserves like a much more thoughtful, long, long answer, and probably books can be written about it.

But I think the I think the best advice for a mom, for a woman coming into a relationship with a guy with kids, is to be to be patient, to be patient, and to trust the guidance advice of the guy.

You know, everybody's kids are different, boys and girls are different depending what age they are, you know, matters.

Each individual child is so different and hopefully you know the parent, I mean, definitely the parent is best suited to know kind of you know, what they're how their kid is dealing with with everything, you know, how close you are to the to the divorce, or maybe it's not a divorce, but all that kind of factors in.

And but I think despite all of that, I think that it is a transition and something that the kids need space and time to kind of naturally accept in a positive way for themselves.

And so yeah, so patience I think is probably the best advice as maybe non helpful is that is?

I mean, what do you think the best advice is?

Han't been on the other side.

Of it, Yeah, I would say, like I feel like I trusted you a lot in that process, Like I trusted your your approach, your way of of like meeting them, when to meet them, how to meet them.

You know, I wanted to bring them gifts when I first met them, and you were like, no, I don't want it to feel like you're like trying to buy them.

So we thought of like thoughtful.

Things that I could bring them that weren't necessarily gifts, but like thoughtful trinkets, if you will, which I thought was better and like a good approach.

So I kind of I would just kind of lean on you.

I mean, I think it's interesting because our situation was different because it was.

In the middle of a pandemic.

I don't think.

I mean, we made it like nine months until I met the kids, and I feel like it wouldn't have been nine months if there wasn't like a pandemic in the middle.

I think also the nine months was was like probably you know that that was something.

So you know, at the time of my separation, my divorce kind of.

There was a rule that we both that me and Max talked about that we wanted to follow, which was basically, we don't want to introduce our kids to like a revolving door of like others, right of like of like girls or guys or whatever.

And so we you know, the idea was like un less and until you're like really ready to like really be committed to someone, like practically engagement, we shouldn't introduce the kids to anybody.

That was probably yeah.

But to be fair, I was your girlfriend and I'd been your girlfriend for like eight months at the time.

No.

No, I think my point is to say that that was probably wrong because I don't think you could even get to the point of like commitment or like engagement level, like I know I want to This is like the you know, the woman I'm going to be with without having integrated your kids already and seeing how that whole scenario works.

So it was it was the reason it took so long was yes, pandemic related, but also just that was kind of like a mistake and you know, we didn't know what we were doing.

I didn't know what I was doing.

We're kind of learning it as we go, all intentions, and I think that, you know, despite maybe that being wrong or maybe not the best approach, I think that it's still like worked to our benefit.

I think that.

The slow introduction and then even from there like very kind of like intentional integration and like.

Yeah, all I'm saying is I think nine months was too long.

No, no, I hear you, because.

I think there was damage on my end where I felt like you had two lives and I was like I'm done with that.

Well, that was like the biggest tension in our relationship and like the reason we broke up and like all this so like it was like, yeah, listen, that was very hard.

It's very hard to navigate these things.

I mean I could talk I think that this is something that you could really like talk about for I mean you could you know, or write about for you know, at length.

Because I do understand when you say be patient, because I wanted to meet them, like, you know, two months in Okay, Yeah, sure, maybe that's too soon, but then I feel like to wait nine months was also problematic.

Yeah, but patient, being patient good.

I wasn't even I didn't even mean it about that.

I do think that that's part of being patient.

I met, like, even once you meet them, be patient with them, go right, like, be patient with them, give them the time and space to like it's it's hard.

Again.

I can only talk about a divorce situation, but there's probably numerous situations like this, either widowed or just someone who has kids, you know, outside of marriage and like as a single parent, father, whatever.

There's probably other scenarios.

I don't know, but in our scenario, there is a natural defense that they're gonna have against somebody coming another woman coming into their lives in like a parental kind of capacity, and so you have to be patient with that and you have to, you know, let them work through that.

And I think that we've done it as.

A very commendable job, as best a job we can.

You have been incredible throughout that process.

Your relationship with my boys is unreal, Like I think the powers it be every day for that.

What you please show you know what I mean, that's that's the most important thing to me in this world.

So let me know what.

The Okay, this is a nice, easy, breezy one.

What's the best part about being married to Tanya?

And what is the most surprising part.

I'm being married to?

So being married to Tanya, my life is like, uh, every every day is like an episode of I Love Lucy.

I think Tanya is.

Really I mean, it's absolutely Tanya is the modern day Lucy O ball.

Okay it is.

It's just exciting and funny and you know, meaningful.

And I know that I have a partner who has my back always.

But yeah, I know it's a every day as an episode of I.

Love I've always said that because this week Tanya goes to prenatal yoga.

Yeah, Tanya tries to make home and milk at home, like every and it's hilarious.

This week Tanya gets blacklisted from hot at yoga.

Oh yeah, every week a new plot.

Yeah, and that you know, And that's what life is about.

It's about keeping it exciting and interesting and I hit the jackpot there.

The thing that's so crazy is like I'm literally obsessed with you, Like I spend every minute with you and I still can't get enough.

Like I was so excited that you were co hosting the podcast this week because like, obviously I'm not with you when I'm at work, and I was like, oh, yeah, that means he's like gonna come with me to work.

Like I love doing everything with you, I love doing nothing with you.

I love watching TV with you like I've never I've never had a partner that I'm just like so obsessed with, but somebody that I admire so much, also somebody that I'm so like sexually obsessed with, Like I just everything about you, I'm just like obsessed with.

Well okay, but fine the same.

But what are your like pet peeves or what are like the things that annoy you?

I already know one, but let's see if you say it.

It is the most obnoxious thing, and it's like the biggest turn off.

It is the biggest turnoff.

I never thought you could possibly turn me off until you started eating sunflower seeds and it is so disgusting and he can't put them down like, you can't have once you start, you can't FaceTime over like trying to book a flight.

No, I have fifty in my mouth, like spitting them.

Into a cup, And I'm like, can you not just do that?

I'm on a phone call with you for two minutes.

Can you already in there so spit them out before you call me?

Don't?

I don't know why that gives you the the other two.

I get the other two.

I get the flip flopping flip flops.

Yeah, oh my gosh.

And he walks in flip flops.

It's like, you know those people that are not self aware that they're making that plan.

It's so embarrassing.

It all comes back to being free.

Yeah, no, that don't be so free when you're wearing I.

Don't want to live in a world where I can't just flop away.

No, you're out and that's walking down the street.

Just thankfully in our relationship, you don't really wear flip flops.

No, No, I don't shoes.

Yeah, so this is it.

That's great.

Yeah, yeah, this is a rare, rare occurrence.

But when his flip flops are flippity flop.

Will always be only on vacation.

Yeah, it makes sense.

Yeah.

What's the third one?

Uh?

The first of all, they're called flip flops for a reason that name like literally, that's what you're supposed to do.

You're conscientious and lift them up off the floor, not flippity flop.

Do you do you flop?

I'm not really, I'm with you on open toad shoes.

Oh yeah, and I think I typically were slides instead of flip flops, so they don't do a lot of flippity flopping.

But yeah, you've worn to wear flop flops, they're gonna flip and flop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The amount of effort it takes to cold your toes down to lift.

The flop it's unnatural.

The third thing the chewing gum, which also.

Oh my gosh, it is like a giraffe chewing grass.

You can't cage me.

You gotta let me be free.

Like I literally have to remind him if he's chewing gum and we're like about to go hang out with friends, I'm like, you have to spit your gum out like.

Chewing gum because of you gave me a complex?

Will stop eat dumping your gum around like that with clients around.

They I told her to like, watch like some videos of baseball players eating baseball selflowers.

It's like, I think it's cool.

It's all gross.

It's it's all gross.

What's gross?

Gross?

And ball players do it and it's gross, and I've never seen you do it, but I assume it's similarly gross.

You know, it's very It's like, no, it's cool.

Any never having a family meeting.

This was Sunday.

We're having a family meeting.

He's spinning out these sunflower seats and I'm like, we have one hour and we're gonna sit here and get this on the.

I involved spitting things out of your so you don't have to spit them.

You can take them one better.

If I take them with my hand.

You're distracting saliva covered things from your mouth.

It's all bad.

Look so eating cherries is gross?

Yes, yes, what is wrong?

I agree?

No.

The best is that we had a canasta lesson, which we definitely have to talk about and I'm just eating this up.

Discussion was amazing.

She's like, I have boys.

I totally get it.

Teenage boys were disgusting.

So this is disgusting teenage boys.

I totally get.

It that I had chills down my back.

I was so second hand embarrassed because of you, with his spinning out with our tutor, our Canasta tutor sitting at the table, and he's no.

I'm.

On this, thank you.

If I eat cherries, I'm alone.

I'm not eating cherries in front of other people.

I don't want eating anything in front of other people.

Is discussing eating anything in front of people, discussing, you're necessarily oh my god.

Eating You're just like shovel Everything is disgusting.

If you really think about your mouth is not as girls as taking things out of your mouth.

That's what I agree.

I agree, it's all disgusting.

It goes in your mouth, you should never see it again.

Yes, okay, cherries, sunflower seeds?

What else?

Seeds?

We can have seedless but water seeds.

What else is there?

No, but the problem with the sunflower seeds is that it's ours like he'll just sit in bed watching TV and.

Just spendflower seeds.

No, no, no, no, no, yes, yes no I did do that.

I did do that.

But that's because she wanted me to watch the football game upstairs instead of watching it downstairs.

So we have to compromise.

You can't.

You can't watch sacrifice.

We sacrifice for life.

I had to eat some flower seeds in bed.

What do you want sacrifice?

Believe does not know we're gonna wrap this episode up, but I feel very vindicated.

I can't wait for myself to arrive on Wednesday.

Have more coming, and that's the problem.

They keep coming in there, these big, big big I wanted to throw them away, but then I'm like, I can't.

Anyways, Robbie will be back for Dear Bonya on Thursday, and thank you all for joining us, Babe, thank you for co hosting today.

Yeah, but I still owe Easton, so we'll try to get him.

He's in the building.

Yeah, we'll get it.

We'll talk Thursday, all right, Love

You all, Bye, b