Tell me what you left was like before you died.

I had been educational consultant and teaching at a Montessori school, and I was leaving work one day.

I got to a corner.

My car was parked off campus, and I got to there was a light that I had across, so I waited for the It was December second, twenty fifteen.

It was dusk, it was a little misty out.

It was unusually warm for that day.

And I got to the corner, and prior to crossing the street, I had been engaging with someone that I knew I shouldn't be engaging with, so I put my phone away.

It's like, you know, kind of in my head about all of that, and I looked the light.

I had the right of way to cross, so I looked both ways.

The car stopped, giving me the right of way.

It's a busy interception, and I proceeded to cross the street, and up from behind me came big ass Dodge Ram pickup truck came up from behind me, and it turns out she was speeding to because she was wanting to make a left hand turn before the oncoming car right she could go straight, so she made a left and hit me about three quarters of the way across the crosswalk and propelled my body three and a half car lengths from the crosswalk, melt thirty feet in the air.

Apparently.

No what it felt like.

It felt like a thud on the right hand side of my body.

And you know, it's a big truck, so it's a good portion of the right hand side of my body.

And I had a bag, and I had a laptop in the bag.

I don't know if that steal, you know, whatever it's it blocked some of it.

But it felt like a dull I don't want to say smack because it's more like a thud on the right hand side of my body.

And I whipped my head around, but it felt like I was whipping it like time stopped.

It felt very slow motion, and I had the thought, something's not right, something's wrong.

And it turns out that was what was stuck in my neck for a while, like all of my practitioners couldn't get to it until I replayed it, and that's what was stuck.

There was something's wrong.

And once I realized that, that's a whole other conversation about healing and the body really does keep the score.

So what happened was I caught for a split second a pair of eyes across the truck, across the hood of the truck, and the next thing, I was above my body looking down at it.

I was looking down at the scene.

I could see there was an expanse.

I could see in three hundred and sixty degrees, yet there was a It was like there was a spotlight below, and I was observing the scene.

I saw my body lying on the right hand side with my head to the left.

There was I could feel the emotions of the people on the ground from above.

Again, this is all from above, so I'm watching this and there was some disorientation by getting my bearings.

And there was a man that jumped out of the car and he was directing.

He directed a woman to go.

I saw the whole thing play out, directed someone to go stop the traffic.

The woman who hit me said she'd call nine one one, And I could feel the sheer terror as my body was laying still and in my he was completely conscious, yet not in my body conscious, And an assessing was taking place, and part of the assessment was am I going to be able to go back there?

Back to that body, and after all that I had just gone through, my kids were a big draw for me, right like it wasn't.

So the question was for me, am I going to be able to go back there?

And there was a lot going on.

There was a lot of internal organ damage, a lot of fractures.

I had a cracked skull.

I mean, there was a lot happening.

But from above, the body looked in one piece, and I understood that I would be able to go back.

And once that kind of was that, that assessing started to take place, there was a sensation of lifting higher and higher and higher, and the scene below faded.

As the scene below started to fade, I was in a complete blackness.

It was the blackest of black.

It's like, we don't have a name for this.

It's not even a color.

We don't have a name for this.

And it was an illuminated blackness.

There was like a luminosity to the blackness, and it was it felt like on the way there, it felt like at some point it's like there was as this energy and vitality of the body was diminishing, that part of me that was existing was being energized and having more life to it as the body was shutting down and in this blackness, it was merging with pure presence.

There was no time, there was no space, it was all space.

It was simply being merged in with this expance.

And there was no questions, there was no there was no ego, there was no me, there was no separateness.

It was being merged in completely with this blackness.

And I was existing as that.

And that was the first thing that happened.

And there was also this sense of it's completely timeless, it's completely expansive.

It's completely all things and no thing at the same time.

There's no gender, there's no right wrong, It's simply existing in pure presence.

And it was also there was a quality to it that was very peaceful, very I want to say loving, but that gives it makes it something.

It's like it contained everything, It contained all of and nothing at that.

And then there was like a shift in a dimension almost, It's like a shift in a From that emerged this sense of floating.

And I was floating and it felt like I was in a cocoon.

And there were others in cocoons, and I say others, yet they were also made up.

We were the same.

Yet there was no fear.

There was simply being and it felt super nourishing and nurturing and warm.

It's like being held in water, It's like being in a flotation tank almost.

You're just held in this nurturing, warm, loving space.

And in that place we call it thought.

I'm going to call it an energy packet because it felt like an energy packet started to emerge and there was a wondering, and the wondering was a waiting started started to come with that energy packet, and it was like a hu, what am I waiting for?

And as soon as the what am I waiting for?

Culminated, that thought that energy packet kind of like culminated, it popped into a being met with exactly what I was being waited for.

And I found myself in a completely bright, effulgent light and the light was growing and growing, and there was a presence in the light that was other than my own yet that was also made up of this light that was communing with me and there for me, and that it was just clearly understood.

There wasn't a thought process as we know thought to be.

It was clearly understood, and this presence was there to communicate with me and share with me and show me things and for me.

We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor, and now back to the show.

And in an instant, it was that presence.

It's I say, it was like you put your forehead, We put foreheads together, and I knew everything about you and everything about your light, all the multi faceted, multi dimensional aspects of your soul's journey and the events that have occurred in your life.

It was like that, and all of this information was transmitted at we say, rapid speed.

And again it's it's not time.

There's no sense of time, like time to be and all of this information was completely downloaded, uploaded.

I understood everything that my soul's journey had taken.

I understood everything that was going on earth in my life in this lifetime at the time, and there was a lot that was transmitted about my particular life and about being embodied as human.

And at some point that started to there was an energy that started to kind of amplify, and there was an anticipation and there was a needed like I needed to get back.

There was an urgency that started to build that if I was going back, I needed to get back into the body and right before I came back, I heard from this present that was other than my own yet that I was also merged in with.

When you go back, it's time to live big.

So that was the that was hearing.

And right before I descended, as I'll say, right before I descended, I asked this presence, who are you?

And I heard, I am you.

I started to descend and I heard I was watching.

At some point, It's like I was there was like a descending and I was watching below and I could also hear below.

There were the EMTs were like calling to me and speaking, and I could see it and also hear it, and I was watching my mouth move but from above.

It was such a trippy experience because there was this physical form, but I wasn't really in it.

I was here, yet it was all happening at the same time.

And as I started to come closer and closer into the body, at some point I felt like I was being squeezed.

It's like being a squeeze, a genie being squeezed into a bottle, And I was existing as this expanse outside of my body, yet also feeling that being squeezed into the body at the same time, and I could hear the body yelping, and at that point it was a very like, oh that's yelping sounds coming from me.

And in the ambulance I was I could see what was happening my head like they were trying to keep me there and there was someone at my head and I kept being out so I could again.

Now I know it as by location where you could be in both places.

And when I came more into consciousness, I was being taken into the It was a level three trauma unit and there was organized chaos and it was a why I mean a lot of things have occurred.

For a while, it was really hard for me to know where my body, where the boundaries of my body was, and where space was and how I experienced the world.

Now I would say my life review, you know, my life review was.

That was what I would equate to a life review for me.

It wasn't like, oh this is you could see.

I could see how you know, all of the action to have ripple effects out into the collective and you're able to experience things like I was able to experience the woman who hit me, I was able to experience what she was experiencing at that moment in time of this occurrence that I was a part of, and the live Big was aligning that inner voice and that inner life with the outer life to be in total alignment and an embodied expression of our truth, which is connected with the divine and with love.

And for me also it was I wanted to either do more with a monossory world and education, or I really wanted to use all the experiences that I just had again in service to others.

And I was really being called to do that, and I wasn't doing either of those things.

So it's a live big, like when you go back, it's time to live big and be on your dharmic path.

I was holding myself back, and I was also you know, I was also able to see how had so created everything that had happened up until that point, not in a shaming blaming kind of way, but in a way that opened up spaciousness.

And I also understood so much more when I came back about boundaries, because yes, we are spiritual beings having a temporary human experience, and we are also human beings having a human experience.

And when we go around and when we treat everyone as the essence of who they truly are and as their potential.

We a lot of times we suffer or we go through a lot of hardship in the face of that.

So it's possible to acknowledge the essence of who someone truly is and pay attention to their being.

You can have compassion for people from Afar.

You can.

You know if it's not safe for you physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, energetically, and genetically.

Boundaries are okay.

Boundaries don't make us less spiritual.

Well, no, I was a person that wasn't having a lot of boundaries, so I learned to be in the both end.

You know, we are all here to be bodied expressions of love source the Divine, whatever name you call, the God of the infinite intelligence of your understanding.

We are here to be embodied expressions of that, to mirror that in one another and the dharmic path.

We each have unique ways of doing that, and we are the Divine knowing itself.

We are love knowing itself, and the individual part of that comes from our souls.

Also have these kind of journeys to come to to life, to learn to grow.

I mean, how remarkable that we are in human bodies.

Truly we are in human bodies.

That's pretty cool.

And when you can look at another person in the eyes and see that divinity in them looking back at you.

We're all made of the same stuff, living with alignment with the voice of the soul, which is love, joy, relationship, expression, service, don't worry so much about what other people think.

The first word that pops into mine and I want to say, how do I define God's Source?

Who we are, all, what we are, all who we be?

I am love to be embodied expressions of love of the divine of Source, knowing itself