Welcome to the Men After God podcast where we don't settle for cultural caricatures of manhood. We reject the extremes of passive comfort and performative toughness and we press into God's design because we are men after God. All right, and today we're gonna be talking about a strength that most men ignore. And man, and we ignore a lot, right? It's a type of strength that's not measured by how much you can bench press. It's not measured by your bank account. It's not measured by your bravado.

but by your mouth. And we're gonna be in the first 21 verses of Proverbs, so make sure you can go ahead and read those in your time, but we're gonna pick several of those verses and go through them, all right? Because Solomon is going to hit us with a hard truth, because let's be honest, most of us can hold our ground under a heavy barbell longer than we can hold our tongue in a heated moment. But scripture holds us to a higher standard.

Trust me, I have been there, especially in my life and in my marriage and in my ministry where somebody says something and I know that the spirit's saying, quiet, don't say a word, but I'm just like, I'ma say it anyway. And then I say it and I immediately, immediately regret it. I remember one time I actually did that with my wife. I know when I start off with that story, you know it's going to be bad gentlemen.

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but it was something along the lines of, know, you weren't home, you didn't do this, you didn't do that. And I'm just like, what did you do all day? And I knew that moment that I messed up, right? But then scripture calls us to a higher standard to something that is rare or something that our culture calls weakness, but God calls wisdom. Because listen, gentle doesn't mean that you're weak.

it means that you're God like, because look at verse one, right, says a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Let me say it again, because I think we need to hear this ready. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Now listen, this isn't some hallmark card sentiment, right? This is a battle strategy for the man of God. Gentleness in the Bible isn't timidity.

It is power under control, right? It's the same word that Jesus used in Matthew when he said, am gentle and lowly and hard. Because when the Son of God stood before Pilate, when soldiers mocked him, when nails were driven through his hands, guess what? He could have said something, he could have called down an army, he could have called down angels, but he didn't, he was silenced. Now, is that because he is weak? absolutely not.

Because listen, my Lord and my Savior, Jesus Christ, He was not powerless, but He was restraining that limitless power to fulfill a greater mission. And listen, gentleness is strength channeled, all right? Not strength absent. Just because you choose to be quiet at times, just because you choose to bite your tongue, does not mean that you are weak.

When your teenager rolls his eyes and trust me, I know that, I know that the, I didn't do that. That's why I didn't say anything, right? But when your teenager rolls his eyes, when your wife's tone just sharpens and turns, when your coworker or subordinate, whatever, when they disrespect you in front of others, your flesh, right? Your flesh, which again, let's go back, is sinful, says match that energy.

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Give it right back to them. But the spirit says, defuse it. Bite your tongue. Bring it down. The wise man doesn't mirror someone else's chaos. He redirects it towards peace. And gentlemen, that is leadership. You want to learn how to lead? You want to be that leader? Learn to control your tongue. Learn to hold that anger back because

whether you want to realize it or not, and maybe we'll have a study on this later on. Anger is sin. You need to hold it back and you need to control it. Gentlemen, your words are the overflow of your heart. Your words are the overflow of your heart. Listen, verse two says, the tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours out foolishness.

You know, Jesus in Luke 6 45 says out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Okay. So what your heart is full of will eventually come out of your mouth. You can't permanently fake spiritual maturity with clever phrasing. Can you fool some people? Yes. Can you fool them for a while? Quite possibly. But can you do it for ever?

Absolutely not, and eventually it's going to come out and eventually you're going to be found out. So you know what Christian, why not just live right? Why not just be full of the spirit, be full of what is right and what is righteous and what is holy? Because again, you cannot permanently fake spiritual maturity because if bitterness is in your heart, it's going to come out in your tone. If pride lives in you, man,

it'll color your words. If lust is in there, it will surface in your jokes. It will even come out in your laughs because what you laugh at, What you don't take seriously. If somebody jokes about sin and you laugh about it, like, man, that was good. Guess what? Then sin really means nothing to you. And if we're supposed to be Christ like you, we're supposed to be men after God and God hates sin, then what should we, you and I do? We should hate sin along with him.

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So if your speech is consistently sharp and sarcastic and short, right, it's not just a communication issue, it's a heart issue. Now the man after God doesn't just clean up his language. He invites God to cleanse the source. Okay, so for that we need to figure out what is your source? Where is it coming? Is it Facebook videos? Is it Instagram? Is it TikTok? Is it YouTube? Is it TV? Is it the radio? You know, for example, I remember a time

I used to work for Nestle and I delivered ice cream and pizza and all this other stuff. But I listened to the local radio and it was just news, right? It was just like, imagine the newspaper on radio. That's what I listened to. And I always call my wife and I'm like, honey, you'll never believe what happened. There's this little boy and he fell out of a five story window and he died. And she's like, why are you telling me this? And I'm just like, I don't know. Well, it's because that's what I was ingesting.

that's what I was full of. So, can you imagine? Now, just imagine your conversation. Imagine your daily conversation, imagine your texts, imagine all your interactions. If you are full of the spirit, what's gonna come out? man, I was reading about David and I just couldn't believe. You know what stood out to me? Your whole speech, everything's going to change. Ask God to cleanse that source. If you wanna change the way that you talk to your wife, if you wanna change the way that you talk to your kids,

to your coworkers, start by asking God to change the way that you see them as well. Because love fuels language. Did you know that if you don't love your wife, it's gonna come out of your speech? If you don't love your children, it's gonna come out in your speech. Because you're not gonna show love, you're not gonna show patience, you know what's gonna come out? Bitterness and wrath. And you're gonna show your anger.

and it's going to come out in your voice. Ask God to help you with that. Because again, let's read it. tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours out foolishness. Can I tell you something? God isn't fooled by spiritual performance. Verse three here says, the eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good. Guys, what you do, he sees, you know?

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You can't fool God. You can't live a life of sin and then all of a sudden come around your dinner table and be like, dearest heavenly father, I thank us for this bountiful meal that we are about to partake of. No, like he knows, you know, you're in the car, you're yelling at your kiddos, you're like, God, I don't see what are you doing? Get your shoes on. I can't believe that you're going to wear flip-flops at church.

You walk in the church, hey brother, how's it going? Walking in with your Bible in your hand, right? Bus, God, hallelujah. Because again, the eyes of the Lord are in every place and he was in that car and he was in your home. You know, what you do at home when no one else is around, he sees and he knows. First aid says, the sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord, but the prayer of the upright is his delight. Listen, God doesn't evaluate.

your words. He evaluates your motives. Think about this. you, you, you go to God in prayer and you're like, Lord, man, I messed up again, Lord, I'm sorry. Okay. Are you sorry that you got caught? Are you sorry because you want him to answer a prayer that you have? Are you sorry because you just want him to, I don't know, bless you, use you, keep you.

Or are you truly sorry because you've sinned against God, your savior, God, your creator? He doesn't care how you say it. He cares what's inside of what your motives are, what's in your heart. The Pharisees knew how to pray long prayers and wore those holy faces, but Jesus said that their hearts were far from God. Now, could they dress the part? Absolutely. Could they speak the part 100 %? Could they in essence kind of live a separated life? I think so.

But the Bible says that they were whitewashed tombs, that they were polished on the outside, but that they were dead on the inside. And man, that's not what I don't want for you. I don't want you to act like you are good and righteous and holy. I truly want you to seek after God and His righteousness. I want you to be a man that is truly after God, to have that be your motivation. Listen, you can lead a Bible study, you can preach a sermon, you can say grace at dinner and still...

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have a rotten heart, but the man whose life aligns with his lips, the man who lives what he preaches, the man whose private obedience matches public leadership, that is a man that has God's ear. That is a man that God delights in, that the Lord delights in.

But did you know that maturity shows in how you handle correction? Because we want God, right? We may go to him and we may pray and say, Lord, show me, right? Lord, show me what needs to be changed in my life. Lord, Lord, change me. Lord, use me. Lord, mold me. Verse five says, a fool despises his father's instruction, but he who regards reproof is prudent.

Verse 14, the heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouth of fools feeds on foolishness. Here's a test. When's the last time that you truly invited correction? Think about work. When's the last time that you went up to your boss and you said, what must I change? What do I need to improve on?

You know, I went to my boss. I, I am an electronic monitoring officer for the state of Illinois. And, I was, I went up for a, supervisor's position recently. And I remember I went to the chief and I was like, I was like, Hey, listen, I'm going to be applying for this position, but I want you to, to help me with that. said, I value your opinion. What are my strengths and what are my weaknesses? What do I need to work on to be able to.

reach this next level. And guys, can I tell you that was hard? Because yeah, when he's just like, well, you do this and you do this. man. And you're amazing at this. You're like, yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, you're right. I do that pretty good. But when he says, but there's one thing holding you back and it's this that's hard to hear.

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because we don't like correction. I hope that makes sense. Fools avoid feedback because it exposes their ego. But yet wise men seek that feedback because it sharpens their edge. Did that make sense? Look at David. He had Nathan. Paul had Barnabas. And even Jesus surrounded himself with relationships where truth could be spoken.

Listen, if you had nobody that can confront you without fear, you are not leading. You're just insulating yourself in your own pride. Because man, I don't care who you are, you are not perfect. And there are things in your life that must change. And there are always things that we can do to be men after God who seek him. But you always don't see it all. But others do. Pay attention to your mental diet because the

Fool feeds on foolishness. What is filling your mind? Is it sports talk radio? Is it political outrage? Is it meaningless entertainment? Listen, if you consume trash, you will speak trash. You will speak trash, you will think trash, you will harbor trash. But if you feed on truth, man, you will speak life. What comes in?

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will eventually come out.

Man, joy is rooted in righteousness and not just in circumstances. know, verse 15 here says, all the days of the afflicted are evil, but he who is of a merry heart has a continual feast. Again, all the days of the afflicted are evil, but he who is of a merry heart has a continual feast. Now listen, Solomon isn't talking about fake positivity. He's talking about spiritual resilience. If your joy rises and falls based on your circumstances,

then you'll be miserable half your life because nobody lives on the highs of highs. But on the other flip side, nobody's ever on the lows of lows. But do you want a life where you're just like, yay, I'm happy, I'm miserable, I'm happy, yay, I'm miserable. Hallelujah, praise the Lord. Kill me now.

What kind of life is that? Your joy needs to be anchored in the character of God, in his goodness, in his sovereignty, in his promises. You'll feast even in famine because his goodness is forever. You know, I had a counselor one day tell me, I went through a rough time at a ministry that I was at.

And we eventually had to resign from that ministry. And it was hard because my response to God was why? Why? I remember my counselor saying, is God good? And I'm like, absolutely, he's got good. So why are you acting like he's not? Is God sovereign? Absolutely. So why are you acting like he had no idea what he was doing when he called you? And it really got me thinking like,

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Why am I focusing on me? If God meant it for good, if God knows what he's doing, if God is sovereign, then why am I thinking so much into this? Paul wrote from prison, rejoice in the Lord always. And if a man who's in prison, and I'm not talking about the prison that we have nowadays, right? I'm talking about the slum.

And if he can say, rejoice in the Lord always in that condition, I think I can do it when I'm unhappy. Because joy isn't tied to comfort. Paul's joy was tied to Christ and righteousness produces peace and peace sustains joy and joy fuels strength. So man, listen, there's three moves for.

week of soft, there's three moves for a week of soft strength. You ready? Lower your voice before raising your point. This is Jesus in the garden. He didn't just snap at his disciples and like, can't believe that you were sleeping. What were you thinking? What is wrong with you? Man, you've been with me for three years. Can you not stay awake through the night? No, he still woke them up gently. And this pause is not weakness in our savior, but it's discipline.

This week, audit your inputs. Every man has a content diet. You are constantly feeding on something, news, podcasts, YouTube, music, right? If what you're consuming fuels pride and lust and anger, cut it off, get rid of it. It is not good for you. It is not good for your family. Get it out of your life now and replace it with truth that renews your mind. And as we said last week, man,

Seek honest feedback. Give a friend the ability to speak into your life, to have, just be honest with you and say, man, this is what I see. This is what I see you struggling with. This is what I would do because I see this in your life. And if you don't have that person in your life, man, you're probably listening to this and you have a girlfriend, you have a wife.

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Listen, you want to marry that girl? Give her permission to speak into your life. You married her already? She should be your best friend. Let her speak into your life. And then when they do, so here's the hard part. Shut your mouth. Don't defend yourself. Listen, and let God use that to shape you and mold you into a man after God. Man's strength is not in how loud you can be.

how hard you can hit, how quick you can fire back. It's in wisdom. It's in self-control. It's in letting the Spirit of God bridle your tongue so your words build up instead of burn down. Write Proverbs 15.1 somewhere that you'll see it all week. Read it every morning and before you answer anyone, especially in the moments that you're provoked, remember, real strength is restrained strength.

So man, until next time, stay grounded, stay gracious, and stay in the word.