Episode Transcript
Welcome to This is important a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically crucially important.
Speaker 2Let's go.
Speaker 3Yeah, have you, Blake?
Speaker 4Have you started every every episode with that?
Does every episode have that?
Speaker 3At the beginning?
Speaker 2Uh?
Speaker 5Would say it's every episode, but it's a lot.
There's always a lot a lot of episodes.
Speaker 3If you were here, you know.
Speaker 2It, I kick off a lot that way.
Speaker 3I'm curious.
Speaker 4I mean, I'm asking even the ones I was a part of, Like, is that a thing that you do?
Speaker 3Everyone?
Speaker 2Do you remember?
Speaker 3No?
Speaker 5Simon Rex just tweeted that let's Go is to guys what whoo is to girls?
You know, how like you'd go when you go, like out to a restaurant of bars.
So I think there's a lot of like drunk girls there.
Speaker 6You just you're like.
Speaker 5Woo like, yes, bitch, who.
Speaker 2I gotta say, I'm guilty of that too, Wolf howling a little bit of wooing.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 5I feel like your let's gos are more prevalent than your Blake rides them waves.
Speaker 2Though he Uh yeah, let's go.
Speaker 5Whatever's on that hot shit is what Blake's gonna be doing.
Speaker 3Did you guys see the National Championship game the other night after the Georgia one, the QB was just like, let's go, let's go, let's.
Speaker 2Go, let's go.
I can't escape it, guys.
Speaker 5I know, well what it is is.
Speaker 3Uh, I love it.
I love it.
Speaker 6Yeah, it's it's it's it's dumb people.
Speaker 5Uh, really really dumb people who idiots, fucking morons.
Speaker 3Okay, who are you to judge?
It is a placeholder for a real true.
Speaker 5Thought fucking idiot bitches now.
Uh, I think it's just people that don't have anything else to say.
Speaker 7Right, It's when you have no words yourself and you just this is the thing people say.
Speaker 3And I know, and they'll know that I know, and I know that they know.
Speaker 2It's an exclamation.
Speaker 3Dude.
Speaker 2You can't always think of what's gonna come out.
It's a knee jerk.
You not think about what you're gonna say.
Speaker 5Yes, I'm saying it's a it's a knee jerk, but it's a new age boo yah, Like I'm more of a boot yall guy.
Speaker 3Yeah, boom, haven't we covered this.
We've covered this whole thing, right ton.
Speaker 5Yeah, I'm a boo, I'm a boom shark.
Alaka guy.
Speaker 2We come back to it a lot because Adam truly is infuriated by the let's go a way.
It's every four episodes.
Speaker 6Let's stop, let's go man.
Speaker 2It's never gonna stop.
No, it's never gonna stop.
Speaker 4It's just you just have to ride the wave.
And right now the wave is huge.
It's cresting, bro, So it's not going anywhere.
Once a wave has that much energy, dog, it keeps going.
Speaker 3Let's go.
Let me, Adam, let me, let me.
Can I saddle you with something?
Speaker 5Adam, please saddle me.
Speaker 3Come up with something better, strap me in your leathers.
Yeah, yeah, like, let's let's get going.
Speaker 2Yeah, no, too many words.
Speaker 3First of all, it's for Adam to do.
And that was bad.
I know that.
I think if.
Speaker 7You seriously put your nose to the grindstone, as I know you do.
Speaker 2That means doing cocaine.
Speaker 3Come up with something that's better.
Speaker 5I'm a grindstoner.
Speaker 3You know.
Uh, what's your what's your version?
Hi?
Speaker 5Oh yeah.
Speaker 3That's cool.
Yeah?
Speaker 5What about Yes mummy?
Speaker 3Oh that's pretty good.
Yes, Mommy is good.
Speaker 6Yes, mummy.
Speaker 3The new Let's go is kids are saying, she sh a lot.
Now deserve she let's go.
Speaker 2I think young Doug might have started that.
Speaker 5One, okay, uh, instead of like, so you just win the national championship.
Speaker 6The reporter comes rushing up to you, Hey, what.
Speaker 5Do you have to say?
You just won the national championship and you go, yes.
Speaker 2Mummy, I wish dude.
Speaker 6That's way better than let's go.
Speaker 3That's like a bed, like a people were like, wait, what.
Speaker 5Is going on right now?
Speaker 3Yes, mummy?
Speaker 7We got to get about our own right, Like how will shout that at golf outings to be like I'm a Howard Stern fan or whatever.
Speaker 2We have it.
It's popos out.
Speaker 3No, Kevin Feterline has popos out.
Speaker 2Yeah, we are children of kfit guys.
I do want to one time on the pod have a serious competition where we.
Speaker 6All, sir, I don't like it, try to sing a.
Speaker 2Song as well as we can, no joke about it.
Speaker 3Oh dude, I was thinking about that Blake here it is.
Speaker 5What do you mean?
Speaker 4I was singing the old Folgers theme because I got this.
Speaker 3Okay, should we each try it that?
Speaker 2Okay?
Speaker 6Yeah, I'm an Oakland coffee man.
Speaker 2Yeah I'll start and don't be funny about it.
Speaker 4No, no, I was testing my mic and I was doing it.
Okay, you ready, O wet my whistle?
Speaker 5So weirdly, why did folgers give us?
They sent me a mug to in like five k cups.
Speaker 3Cause they're fucking geez, they get it.
Speaker 4Yeah, big shout out, yeah, and they have the best theme song of all time.
And here it goes.
Here's my rendition.
Speaker 2All right, let's hear it.
Speaker 4The best part of wake No, he's folders in your cup.
Speaker 2Okay, okay, very good.
Speaker 3Started off rough, rough, rough, yeah, rush.
Speaker 6I mean it's cool.
It's cool to hear someone try.
And that's I.
Speaker 5Think it's well.
Speaker 3I think I should go ahead.
I want to redo.
Speaker 2Okay, wait there now, really try.
Speaker 8The best part of waken Up is fool just in yo cup.
Speaker 2At the end, he did he kind of pulled the ripcord on school, just in you.
Speaker 5I think what happened is Durst got a little scared at the end.
Speaker 6Was he was being a little vulnerable.
Speaker 3I was scared my career was going to take off.
Speaker 5Yeah, he was being a little vulnerable by singing, and that that scared him.
Speaker 3I don't want to get pigeon held as a musician.
You have a very who was last raspy voice?
Yeah?
Speaker 2Who was that guy in like the nineties?
He had kind of a mullet.
Speaker 6He was like Rick Ashley.
Speaker 3Are we talking in the nineties?
Speaker 2Yeah?
Wait, No, what was that guy's name?
He was fucking cool.
Speaker 3We're talking about Don Henley of the Eagle.
Speaker 2No, I'm not talking about Don Henley.
Speaker 3His name it was Summer.
Speaker 2What was that guy's name?
Fuck, I'm gonna have to Tom Waits.
Speaker 5What do you mean?
Speaker 3Yeah, it was Tom Waite.
Speaker 6There's a ton of people with raspy voices.
Speaker 2It wasn't Tom Waits.
It was like, he didn't sing Desperado.
Speaker 3Brian Adams?
Is it Brian Adams?
Speaker 2Brian Adams's not Brian Adams, but you are Brian Adams adjacent?
Speaker 5Okay?
Speaker 3Did he sing on the robin Hood soundtrack or not?
Speaker 2He must have.
This guy was built for the robin Hood soundtrack.
Speaker 5Oh all right, Blake, it was Rod Stewart, obviously, Rod Stewart.
Speaker 3Rod Stewart, Rod Stewart.
Speaker 5It's freaking hey, well, Blake, if you don't know, then you don't know, and it's your turn to sing.
Speaker 3Okay, yeah, right like that, thank you.
Speaker 5You can't set it up and then try to odds the sing right all right here right here we go, all right.
Speaker 2The best part of Waking Up is Folgers in yoke up.
Speaker 3Wow, with the flourishes.
Speaker 6A little flourish.
Speaker 3It sounded real.
Speaker 6Yeah, you have a little flourish on it.
Speaker 2Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3Yeah, that was great.
I mean that was a good rendition.
Speaker 5Bro.
Speaker 3Here's what's cool is that, Adam you sing?
Speaker 6I don't sing, though, and I'm wondering.
Speaker 3How much better yours is actually going to be?
Speaker 5The Yeah, come on, yeah, probably not much better.
That's the thing is, I don't sing.
Speaker 3No, don't preface.
Okay, go ahead, let's hear it.
Speaker 5The best part of Waking up is Forgers in Yoka.
Speaker 3Wow.
Speaker 2That was really good.
Speaker 6I don't know, I don't know the song.
Speaker 3I like that you made it your own.
Speaker 2No, that was really really good.
Speaker 3It was like a much higher register.
Speaker 5Arguably the best best part of wake yeh, there you go.
Speaker 3It's full just and yok ye.
Speaker 2Now that one has a steak on it.
I like that.
Speaker 5Yeah, see that's what that's more my range.
I thought it was higher.
Speaker 3That was skinny Luther right there, Hello and welcome turned out.
Speaker 7Feeling good, baby yo, So to me, this is how I know I'm old when I'm in a grocery store, because to me, that's a grocery store banger.
Speaker 3Sure we're old enough at least I'm old enough now that when I'm in the grocery store and a song like that comes on, I'm nod in my head.
Speaker 9Man.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah, for real, They've got some real bangers that hit me at my age, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4Yeah, it's not worth like analyzing that any further than just a head nod and a smile.
Speaker 2You know what A song I have that like when I hear it, it just puts a smile on my face.
It is I love your smile, dude.
Speaker 6Obviously, obviously I've.
Speaker 7Had that song in my head for twenty years.
That's like my go to I'm lonely.
I'm gonna whistle while I'm taking a leak in a weird gas station.
Speaker 2If that comes on in the grocery store, I'm dropping the milk and I am dancing a little bit, doing a.
Speaker 3Shimmy dropping it.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 3Drop.
That's a mess.
Speaker 2It's a mess, but I can't help myself.
Speaker 3I might slip.
Speaker 5I've been deep on my eighties ship for a while now, Okay, I feel like that that was the decade.
I feel like I would have really shined in the eighties.
I love all the music from that era.
I uh, I could you know, wear a letterman jacket?
I feel I feel like I pull off the letterman jacket.
Speaker 3Talk to me about your eighties?
Speaker 6Yeah, about my well, I was what I was, you know child?
Speaker 3No?
Speaker 7No, sorry about like about what I know.
But you're talking about letter jackets as opposed to like pet chop boys, because the eighties was quite diverse.
Speaker 2So I'm saying, Duran, Duran, sure, yeah, are you talking?
Speaker 7You're more like hair band eighties and like are Huey Lewis eightiesz?
Speaker 3Yeah?
Men at work like the Cure, you know.
Speaker 5No, I'm more of like talking heads the cure.
Speaker 4I think I went to the cure.
I went to the cure like almost first in my mind.
Speaker 6But also I talking heads.
I love, Yeah, fuck you, But also I'll fuck up some Eddie money, dude.
I'm not afraid.
Speaker 3Okay, all right, there's a lot of people out there that are afraid of Eddie money.
Speaker 5Dude.
They are well, they're afraid to admit that they like Eddie Money.
A lot of people think that that's not cool.
Speaker 3His voice is super solid.
Speaker 2He has the coolest name ever in rock music, Eddie.
Speaker 3Money, Doobie Brothers, the Doobie Brothers.
That's pretty good.
Speaker 2I mean that's good, but that's the Doobie Brothers.
Speaker 3Is great, Bro' like to me, like, that's the greatest of all time?
Is who are you guys?
We're the Doobie Brothers.
WHOA.
Speaker 2I do really like the new series of Adam playing songs off of his phone.
This is yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3I mean his voice is good.
Yeah, his voice is money.
Speaker 2But that's not his hit, right, doesn't he have a bigger one than that?
Speaker 3Take Me Home Tonight is pretty damn big.
Speaker 5Yeah, that's the one, take Me Home Tonight and that Yeah, that was that song, the same song.
That's the one that you want to drink beer on a beach or you want to be on a boat.
Speaker 6I feel I want to be lazed?
Speaker 3YEA, well?
Yacht rock?
Right?
That's eighties?
Speaker 2Right?
Speaker 3Or is it late?
It's it's mostly in the eighties, was yacht rock?
Oh?
Speaker 2Maybe it's a deeper cut, But Shaken is a fucking banger by Eddie More.
Speaker 3What's shaking?
Was that was that song?
Speaker 2Ll on, let me, let me, let me, let me pull it up a little bit.
Speaker 3What you got there?
A chocolate pay day?
Dude, I'm eating a fucking one of your guys.
I love it.
Yeah, here, hold on, let's no bullshit?
Great, I don't like to eat bullshit.
Speaker 2There's there's no way.
Speaker 3Well, that's the first time I've ever heard that song.
Speaker 6Yeah, hey, dude, Hey Blake, that song ritch, dude, thank.
Speaker 3You, quintessential Eddie Money song, Shiver or whatever you called it.
Speaker 6I played his by far his biggest hit.
Speaker 2Yeah, uh, and.
Speaker 3Blake's like no, and then Blake doesn't even recognize it.
Speaker 6There has to be a bigger hit here.
I'm gonna play you this fucking garbage pail music.
Speaker 2Right, dude?
Know that was first you're an eighties stripper anthem, Dude.
Speaker 3That song sounded like a kitchen during an.
Speaker 5Earthquake, and that sounded like you made something on garage band.
Speaker 2Like, did you like it?
Because there's actually my band?
Yeah, this is.
Speaker 3Blakey Money, Freddy my band Freddie Monkey.
Speaker 2Okay, okay, I know another one that's really good.
What about here we go and hear me out?
Arguably better than take me home tonight?
Two tickets to.
Speaker 3What he plays on the commercials?
Speaker 2Right ticket?
Speaker 3And you know what, I would argue, you don't like it?
Speaker 8What?
Speaker 6Yeah, take me home tonight is the is the better of the because.
Speaker 3What two tickets?
That's only two?
I want more than my two tickets?
Yeah, four tickets to Paradise.
Speaker 5Well, I think I think he's with his girl or whatever.
You know, but yeah, I mean trips are more fun if you go with like a group of friends.
Speaker 2You know, he just wants a threesome.
Speaker 3I want one of you guys in a threesome.
I'd preach.
Speaker 5Whenever I'm I'm at a truck stop, I just want to like see like how much trouble I could get in and how quickly it could happen, you know, like how quick like if how easy it would be to get meth.
I've never done that, but I mean I would, like, I do want to find out, like how easy it is to get meth at a truck stop.
Speaker 3Wow, it's easy, is it?
Yeah?
Speaker 4I think to get meth you just have to be diagnosed with a d D, right, and then you get.
Speaker 2All the truckers have you want to know where it really goes down.
Yeah, Blake, weighing stations, truck Wayne station.
Right, if you want the good shit, go to the Wayne stations.
That's where they're all pulled off.
They're all doing their their business, zipping up for the drive.
Speaker 3And you know that because.
Speaker 5Hey, Blake, that's not a real.
Speaker 2It is a real thing.
Speaker 3Why do you know this.
Speaker 5That's not a real thing.
Speaker 2It absolutely is truck Wayne station.
I know that.
Speaker 5Okay, you want to come at me, bro, I.
Speaker 2Would love to.
Speaker 5Let's just come.
Speaker 3Please come at me, guy.
Speaker 5Wayne stations happen on the side of the road.
It's truck by truck.
That's not where you buy your meth or get your your low end hooker.
That's not where that happens.
Speaker 4Okay, I bet if you were in the little station, that's like weighing the trucks.
If you're in the booth, you're the one who can have the meth, and you're the one who can be like, hey, here's your myth, playboy.
Speaker 3You know what I mean?
Speaker 5Well, sure, I'm saying.
I'm saying, as like a generality, any truck stop in America, I think you can I think there's a high probability of getting meth.
Speaker 6I don't know if it's at the Wayne station.
Speaker 3Blake, what is your tele Why this is a way station over a truck.
Speaker 2Stop, Because truck stops are way brighter, they're way more populated, they have families there getting gas.
The truck way station is truckers only.
No families are pulling over for that.
Speaker 3But the truck way station, correct me if I'm wrong.
The truck way station is run by the state.
Speaker 6Right, that's correct.
Speaker 2I've never gone in a waste station.
Speaker 7As opposed to just like a private business that doesn't give a fuck what's happening there.
Speaker 5That is correct.
Speaker 7And Kyle, you're saying it's like a service window, like they pull up and they go yeah, but there's all on camera.
Speaker 3I mean they're all on cameras.
Speaker 2Okay, I got it.
I know where it is.
Three one two, three, rest areas.
Speaker 3Break check spots where they're checking their brakes.
You know where it really is.
It's you know those those runaway truck rams at the top of that.
There's always a leprechn with Hella mat.
Speaker 5This is where you get your med.
You take a manhole cover off the street.
Yes, you climb into the sewer.
No, Blake, it's it's a truck truck stop truck for sure, and they sleep in their trucks at night.
No, sure, you can at a rest area too.
That's where people get abducted.
Yes, that's a good place to get abducted.
Speaker 3Look, I will say this, at a truck stop, you are competing with these hats.
If that makes an.
Speaker 2Absolutely, thank you.
I'm spending my money on those showers.
Speaker 3You know, depending on how they only cause a couple of time.
But if you're in there for a minute, it's your pocket literally your pocket change.
You could take a shower and get cleaned up.
It's amazing.
Speaker 5Yeah, I think it goes hand in hand with someone that buys hats like that also might be in the market for meth.
Speaker 3You might be a math haad.
Speaker 5It's the same brain that goes after it, and that's why it's stocked with the coolest hats.
Speaker 3Right, Come for the hats, leave with the meth, Leave.
Speaker 5For the math.
Speaker 2To your point, when if you walk into a good truck stop, like the Flying Jay, the first thing they have is that little like showcase with all the like diamonds, crystals and daggers and stuff.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, you have to be on meth to buy that stuff, like like guilty sky Mall in the middle of the sky mall with the curvy blades and ship.
Speaker 4Oh yeah, I mean I did get a sick sweatshirt from one of these truck stops that said it was like a guy that was getting married and he had a frownie face and it said he was standing next to his girl and it said sentenced to wife.
Speaker 3And I wore that for I wore that forever.
Speaker 5Yeah, I kind of remember.
Speaker 4It was white, correct, Yeah, it was white and they look like bathroom imagery.
Speaker 5Yeah, I remember you rocking that, right, yeah, yeah, yeah, so sick, Yes, mommy, yes, mommy.
Speaker 3A lot of land.
Speaker 2Top golf is cool, but there are times when little changes to the game can backfire.
I will take a hard stance.
I freaking hate cosmic bowling.
Do you that.
Speaker 3Sits like the dark?
The worst I met my wife, Visa.
Speaker 5That's how you met your wife was during a cosmic.
Speaker 3It's the worst thing to happen to bowling.
Alleys.
Speaker 7It's it's explain yourself, go ahead, well why it sucks?
Speaker 4Yeah, go ahead, because it's not like it's like all these lights, all these distractions, all this bullshit.
Speaker 3All this black light?
Speaker 4Are you still wait?
I think we figured it out.
You're scared it's too dark.
No, the game is fine how it is.
It doesn't need these elements.
Speaker 3You think real aliens are gonna show, don't you.
Speaker 4I'm not scared of nothing.
Speaker 3I'm not scared, Kyle.
It's not really cosmic.
It's just dark and black lights.
There's no aliens.
I'm not scared.
So you think it you think it takes away like the pureness of bowlding.
Speaker 4I think it's it's great for like parties and stuff, I guess, but it's that's.
Speaker 3What it's for.
It's what that's what it's for.
No, if you're under six.
Speaker 5Well, it's not if you're trying.
Do you notice they're not doing cosmic bowling tournaments?
Is just for like high school lockings and shit.
Speaker 3Oh I know Adam was all about some lockings.
Speaker 6Oh dude, I was trying to stay lock.
Speaker 2These girls are locked in here with me.
Speaker 6I was trying to stay locked in.
Speaker 3No one can leave.
Speaker 2I feel good.
Speaker 5And then it's just me hacky sacking in the corner hoping that that impresses one of them.
Speaker 2Look at these giant bowling shoes still over here.
I'm not going anywhere.
Speaker 3I'm watching one six two, six hundred three.
Speaker 5I'm into the tiny sweaty one aggressively hacky, sacking in the.
Speaker 3Corner, slamming pictures of coke.
Speaker 2Hey, I'll be right here.
Speaker 3You want a ball unlimited Coca Cola?
I might have a sprite lader.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 6When I call my mom to pick me up in the morning and I go.
Speaker 3Oh, mommy, so I'm sorry real quick.
So you're.
Speaker 5That's where my dad hides his week in an old folger's can.
Speaker 3Yeah, it really is the best part of waking.
Speaker 2Up, waking bake.
Speaker 5I don't know why he hides it, because who's he hiding it from you?
Speaker 2So you don't smoke his weed?
Speaker 3Okay?
Speaker 4Well, also, is he hiding it or just keeping it in a place your.
Speaker 3Mom will take that ship?
Speaker 2Yeah, man, roll it up.
Speaker 3And light it.
Speaker 5No, you have to go in his shed.
It's behind his toolbox.
It's hidden.
Speaker 6It's fully like he has to explain where it is.
Speaker 3Let a man live an exciting life.
Yeah, you know that it's important.
Speaker 6I think it is, Like you know, it's uh.
Speaker 5The older generation is still thinking that they're going to go to prison with like eleven dollars of wheat on them.
Speaker 3I have knives hidden all over my house.
Speaker 6I believe that about you.
Speaker 4Also, though Folger's cans were they used to come in a can before these curing things popped off and go in go off.
The cans were telling me about to put stuff in there.
If you saved them, you wash them outright, you could put stuff in them tax screws.
They're for workshops, so you know, maybe your maybe your pop's got something baked in there where he's like, hey, baked in for where he puts his weed, you know, just the storage.
Speaker 6Can where it's like this is where I get my work done.
Speaker 3Yeah, get a little screwed up and workshop.
By the way, go ahead, Blake Well.
Speaker 2I was just saying, like, also, half the fun of smoking weed is when it's illegal and you can get in trouble doing it.
Maybe he's just kind of trying to hold onto that mystique.
You hide your weed, you go off and have a puff.
Speaker 3That's done.
Speaker 5Though, you know, I love weed, and I love weed like here in California.
It's fun all the other things like having can you know the company that I invested in having like having that be a legal thing that you could go to the store and buy or any of the like little cookies that you can go buy and little little candies.
Speaker 3Uh.
Speaker 5But there is something pretty special about when he was illegal and you had to be like on the side, on the side of like your mom's house, quick quick, taking a few rips before you had family dinner.
Good old days.
Speaker 4So yeah, So my so I smoke a lot, like you know when I do when I'm on that tip right now.
Speaker 5Nice, he's nice.
Speaker 4And I got a three year old, right and my three year old is like like if I have like a fucking peanut brittle cup or something like that, He'll be.
Speaker 3Like, you eat chocolate.
You you have chocolate?
Right now.
Speaker 4I come in to like read him a story and I'm fucking smelling like weed because I just went and fucking choked up because I want to do my best in the story.
Speaker 6Daddy smells like giggles sticky.
Speaker 4You have sticky kind okay, And he was like, he was like, what do you smell like?
Like I came in smelling like weed and he's like, what is that smell?
And I was like, uh uh, And my wife's like, just say plant medicine.
Okay, plant medicine.
And I was like, all right, cool, I smell like plant medicine, and that's what.
Speaker 5It is, plant medicine.
Speaker 2That's a really good uh good weed name.
You should open start that.
Speaker 3Call it God's burp.
Speaker 5I would remember as a really young kid, smelling like my mom wouldn't let me go downstairs when my dad was with his brothers, and they'd be down there and they were obviously smoking weed, but what they would do is also just chain smoke cigarettes to mask the smell.
So I never really noticed the weed smell that was that strong.
I would be like, oh, this cigarette smell smells different than it normally does.
Speaker 2That it's important.
Speaker 6So do you think you should start to smoke to again to sort of mask the weed smell?
Speaker 3Or you just wait, what what was that?
You gotta start smoking cigarettes again me to mask it for my kid?
Yeah, or get off the podcast or get off the pod.
Okay, well you know that's a eat choice.
Speaker 2Hallo, here we go again.
Speaker 5If it's you and your girl and and another guy is going to be involved, it can't be that.
It can't be a homie.
Speaker 3It has to be your high school.
Speaker 2It has to be.
Speaker 5It has to be the head of your rival dojo.
Speaker 2You gotta bury the hatchet somehow, and better way than to go on a romantic thing.
Speaker 6To bury the hatchet and your girl bury him something.
Speaker 5Okay, that's how you fuck take me home tonight.
Speaker 7But maybe be cool to have your girl like Okay, So you find your nemesis from high school and go, yo, you get a threesome.
He sees your girl, he's like, yeah, babe, let's do it.
And then you've already told your girl and she's down with this because she knows you hate this guy to be like to be like, you can't fuck harder than that.
Yeah, And even if his dick's way bigger than yours, she just is like, why is your dick feels so weird in me?
Speaker 2And you go, babe, this is a great prank.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah, you'd shame him.
Speaker 2Well yeah, yeah, exactly, I love this prank while you're watching him fuck your girl.
Speaker 3You're shaming him while you're watching.
Speaker 2Yeah, you know.
Speaker 3She's doing it, and you're looking there like, hey, honey, have a good time.
Speaker 7Yeah, And the best part is that, like behind your back.
Later she runs off with him because the dick actually was good.
Speaker 3And then they get married.
Okay, and you're on the street one day and they pull up in a ferrari.
Speaker 6Okay, now you're talking.
Speaker 3Yeah, and they handle you a million dollar bill and you're like, poned you and you go, oh my god, thank you.
And he goes, that's not real, bitch, and they peel out Unis.
She gives him head right, Okay, that's the prank.
Speaker 6That's a fun press.
Speaker 2That is a fucking that's a royal pony, bro.
Speaker 3And then you just walk into traffic.
Yeah, that's funny, but nothing hits you.
Speaker 2And then you nothing hits you but a truck.
But it doesn't kill you.
Speaker 6No, that truck hits you.
You're dead.
And then that's the ultimate prank.
Speaker 2Dude, right right.
Speaker 7And then they come to your funeral and you're like, I guess I hope they're here because you're dead.
Speaker 3You don't know.
Oh man, you know there's a funeral.
You know there's a funeral, but nobody comes to it.
Pissed now because you did because you lost all your teeth a long time ago, and they don't know who you are.
You're just a John Doe.
Speaker 2That's the branks good because you didn't have any teeth to identify the body because you lost them all because you were just methadic.
Speaker 3Yeah, so that's the threesome you.
Speaker 2Want, absolutely absolutely all right.
Speaker 3That's great, good, good deal, Bud.
Speaker 5We really missed the boat by not starting our own by employing Blake's stepdad, yes for our company and have the meat jerking beef boys release their own.
Speaker 3Batch because his stepdad makes.
Speaker 5There's his Blake's stepdad makes the best fucking beef jerky I've ever had.
And I am a connoisseurer.
I eat beef jerky five times a week.
I'm always jerking.
Speaker 2Out the jim.
Yeah, you're a jerker.
Speaker 5I'm a jerky boy.
Speaker 3You're a five times a week.
Speaker 5Yeah, dude, that's why I'm That's why I'm so poofy looking for what a meal?
No, it's a little snack this afternoon, delight.
Speaker 3How much you're eating a bag?
Because I go through a bag.
Speaker 5No, not a not a whole bag, not a whole bag, just a few, just a few tender strips.
Okay, Okay, I've been fucking with old trappers.
What I've been fucking with?
Speaker 2Let me ask you, do you ever go into the turkey jerky zone or are you purely a beef?
Speaker 3Why?
I do.
Speaker 5When I'm trying to uh to not have to have a bloated head, I go, I get the turkey, uh, and then I just go jacklings, you know, because some of the other turkeys you don't.
You can't trust it right now?
Speaker 3Do you like it moist?
Man, I'm starving.
Speaker 7I feel like there's a whole new genre of jerky where it's like actually moist, it's still kind of juicy.
Speaker 3I love that.
That's the ba.
Do you like it dry?
Speaker 7Where you got to fucking like tear a couple of teeth out to get into it.
Speaker 2It's a delicate balanced dude.
Speaker 3No moist.
Speaker 6I don't like it too wet.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 5I don't like when my hands look like I just ate some ribs or something.
I'm like, I'm just trying to be a jerky boy.
Usually it's like while I'm driving or something, you know.
Speaker 3Put a pin in that we're gonna go back to Jersey boys.
Speaker 2But you put the little pack of jerky between your legs and you kind of just get down in there.
Speaker 6Yeah, just some crotch nibbles.
Speaker 2M my boy.
Speaker 6Remember when I bowled a three hundred and we bowling.
Speaker 3That is so much different.
Speaker 2Boy and I and I freaking slayed a Slayer song on guitar Hero, but that doesn't count.
I still can't play a list.
Speaker 3Don't tell yourself short, that's cool.
Speaker 5I bet you could do something good.
Speaker 2I just had a memory about all of us.
Kyle, were you there when we bowled Chris Hardwick Hardwick?
All four of us bowled against one Chris Hardwick, and we got murdered.
Speaker 3Yeah, he beat us.
He was sick, that guy.
Speaker 6Uh he scored some points.
Speaker 3Yeah he did, Yeah he did.
Speaker 4Yes, Wow, there it is, Adam.
Have you ever owned your own bowling ball shoes or show.
Speaker 6There was a summer.
Speaker 5Yes, I stole several pairs that then were my shoes, but uh.
Speaker 3Icky frowned upon in the community.
Speaker 5No, it was.
It was in in I think seventh grade or eighth grade.
Me and my buddy Danny Hendrix.
We went bowling every day.
It was a dollar a game at Cougar Lands in Omaha, Nebraska, and we went at e three day and I got I got good.
I did get good.
I haven't been in a long time, so I don't know how often you're bowling.
Maybe your skills are a little sharper than mine.
Speaker 3He's starting to back.
Speaker 6But I think I remember Kyle being good.
Speaker 3Yeah, I'm very good.
Speaker 5I don't remember you having any discernible talent when it comes to bowling.
Speaker 3Wow, that's wild, bro, this is big.
Speaker 6I don't I don't remember that.
Speaker 5I remember Kyle being good.
I don't remember Blake being good at Wow.
Speaker 4Blake would plug in, Blake, Blake, Blake can plug in.
I've seen him plug in better than you.
Speaker 2Thank you, Kyle.
Speaker 7I remember Kyle doing the where you cradle it with your hand and you spin it thing.
Speaker 4Yeah, yes, I have a wicked spin.
I do use the thumb.
Speaker 2Kyle has a crazy style.
Speaker 4I just used the two middle fingers in the ball.
I don't even have a thumb drilled in the hole because I'm just palming it.
Speaker 2Oh my god, I thought.
Speaker 3You didn't even use your fingers at all.
Speaker 4I thought you just had no because you want to rip up like a fucking buzz saw.
Speaker 3You know what I mean.
You want to rip it up.
Get that hook on it.
Speaker 2Oh yes, mommy, big check hands.
Speaker 3I got a horrible throw.
I throw it backwards.
Are you lefty?
Yeah?
Speaker 2How heavy.
Was your ball?
Speaker 4I bowled with a twelve pounder, I think it was.
It was not that heavy, yeah, which is it's very light.
Yeah, but it's because of the effort that I had to get that spin.
Speaker 3You have to exert a lot of effort and energy.
Speaker 5See, I haven't.
I don't think I've gone for years.
I used to go.
Speaker 3I haven't gone for years, donkey.
Speaker 5For years.
I haven't gone for years.
I bet now I would roll with like a thirty pound ball.
Speaker 3Dude, you can't, you can't.
It's like, sixteen is the top.
Speaker 2I think sixteen is the match, bro.
Speaker 3Yeah, do you live?
Speaker 2I don't know.
Speaker 3I would go with like a six pounder.
Probably I do that.
What's the lightest, the lightest you can go?
Yeah, you can go six pounds.
Speaker 5I feel like nowadays I roll with like a thirty five pound I pounder.
Speaker 2Okay, I don't wait, wait wait, So we were just talking about how you pivot the sport to like cooler things.
But honestly, like super heavy bowling, I'm kind of in on dude, where oh.
Speaker 3My god, Oh that is a good idea, Like strong man, that's a good idea, dude.
Speaker 5I would love to dislocate his shoulder by trying to roll a fifty pound bowling BALLT Yes, what would.
Speaker 2That do to the pins?
And the pins are heavier too.
Speaker 5It just disintegrates them if if you hit them with enough forest and blake.
Speaker 3How do you feel about smaller and smaller golf balls?
Is that cool?
Is that fun?
Speaker 2That's kind of cool?
Speaker 3I don't know.
Speaker 7Well, Hey, how about when you go to a fancy like resort and when you get there, they're like they had the tray with the juices for you and your special person and you drink it and it's so fucking good.
Speaker 2What is what is this specific place you're talking about here?
Speaker 5Well, when you go to like a nice hotel or resorts or something.
Speaker 3Like usually Hawaii like tropical places.
Speaker 2Yeah, okay, gotcha.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 5I never go with the water though.
I go with the alcohol drink to kind of kick that weekend off.
Speaker 2Sure, yeah, right when they ask you at the front desk.
Speaker 5But the issue is they always give you like the like the one that just hits you over the head, the flavor of sensation and they give you to you in like a tiny cup.
Speaker 3Do you go for the alcohol one?
Speaker 7Like when you give your luggage to the bellman and they're like, hey, welcome, and there's an alcohol one us like that.
Speaker 3That's probably where Mexico.
Speaker 5Yeah, Mexico, Yeah yeah, Mexico.
Speaker 2Just off to the races in Hawaii.
Speaker 3I don't remember ever having like an option as far as like.
Speaker 5Oh that's sad they're blowing it.
Well.
Speaker 7I want to get like refreshed before I get am I gonna finish that.
Speaker 2I like to black out as soon as I land.
Yeah, yeah, no, I like to forget my vacation before it starts.
Uh huha, blackout on the plane.
Speaker 5I know.
Speaker 6I remember, I remember seeing you at my wedding.
Speaker 5Uh so Red the.
Speaker 2Reddest guy that was a major sunburn hell boy over there, Yeah, shows a boy Ron Pearlman brod can we Blake got.
Speaker 6In the pool and didn't leave for three days straight.
Speaker 2It's true, man, buckanhell.
I had to fight through your old family.
It was a wrestling match.
We almost got freaking Oh that's the uncles.
Speaker 5Yeah, my my uncle Matt was fighting everybody and uh he's like a wrestler, and my cousins are wrestlers, and so Blake is drunk and he's thinking like I'm also gonna throw these guys around here.
He comes from wrestling stuff, so he's like, I'm from Iowa, uh, and I thought, and also you're not.
And he fights these guys and the staff was like, comes running down and they're going Pela pelicia, like they're gonna call the cops.
Really, and then yes, and then we had to explain that we're all family and friends.
And then they're based were like, this is a nice place.
Don't fight each other, right, That's how.
Speaker 2Hard they were dunking me under the water.
I was joke slammed repeatedly by Adam's like sixteen year old nephews.
Speaker 5I was very surprised about weed because my dad obviously just was dealing with cancer all of last year, and he was like, I just want to see if I could smoke weed.
And then we're like, Dad, you're not gonna be able to smoke weed.
You have fucking lung cancer.
And then the doctor we're all facetiming because of COVID with the doctor.
Speaker 6My dad's in.
Speaker 5There holding up the phone doing a piss poor job of it, by the way, and the doctor we were like asking all these questions and then my dad doesn't have one question about his own health, and then at the very end was like I got a question and we're like oh, He's like okay, this should be good.
All right, good, he's invested.
And then he's like, can I smoke weed?
And the doctor was like, yeah, I think that that would be okay because the carcinogyd levels are so low and what we're about to put you through it'll knock that out right away.
Speaker 3And so uh, it's plant medicine.
Bro.
Speaker 4There is like there is some studies I believe of it killing cancer and a petri.
Speaker 3Dish also some studies of killing children science.
Speaker 5My dad and I would always go fishing at this lake in Omaha when I was growing up, and every once in a while you would hear like but like it's light, and you're like, what the fuck is going on?
Speaker 3Is your dad ripping bonds?
Don't look at me?
Speaker 5Fuldiers's canto in here No, And it would be the stealth bomber, just like covering above the lake, like just sort of creep and.
Speaker 3They can hover.
Wait, these things can hover.
They go, but they can go very slow, like they went very slow over.
Speaker 6Yeah, they can just.
Speaker 3So that you can or they can break the sound barrier.
Speaker 5Yeah, they was like going like mad slow right over us and.
Speaker 6There's a ton of cool.
Speaker 5But playing some bombers in Omaha because that's where the president goes, uh when there's a giant emergency, because it's the biggest city, most centrally located in the US.
Speaker 2Oh that's cool.
Speaker 5Living America, that's yeah, that's where he went.
Speaker 6That's where he went during nine to eleven.
Speaker 5Huh really yeah, ship yeah, madam, Yeah, I'm mad.
Speaker 3I didn't go anywhere.
I stood my ground on nine eleven.
Speaker 2But go ahead, damn, yeah you didn't.
Speaker 3I didn't run from anything.
No, Yeah, you're right, me too.
I still did the paper out.
Speaker 2I stayed in social studies class.
Speaker 3I went right to Norwegian class and told everybody in Norwegian the plane had Yeah.
Us history was crazy that day.
Speaker 6I remember going to school and then they were like, you know, we fucking canceled school today, and I was.
And then I went and smoked weed in my buddy's garage.
For America, it's the whole world gone.
Speaker 3You lit up your own two towers of weed.
That was necessary.
Speaker 2Yeah.
That was a wild time, man, And I'll never forget dudes.
Speaker 4Hey, dudes, can I talk about something absolutely?
Speaker 3Is it related?
Because no, no, it's not taking.
Speaker 2We were kind of having a moment of silence, but go ahead.
Speaker 5In high school, I uh, I did notes and then my girlfriend found them and like flushed them down my toilet and was being so dramatic about the notes I was taking.
Speaker 3It was so excited.
Speaker 6That's exactly what it was.
Speaker 5She say, no, no, on my watch, you're not dyet here.
And meanwhile I had like a notos to get me through like finals week, and I was like, Birch, don't you do that?
Speaker 2Damn?
Speaker 5I snapped, dude.
I used to uh do a quite a bit of I wouldn't do a lot of adderall, but I would do it fairly often when I was doing stand up on the road and you just get burnt out, and like right before the show would start, about ten minutes before I would take like I would break it up and do like a fourth and then take that and then that would that would get things, uh turned in.
I don't I haven't done it in years.
Speaker 3Poor cocaine co cocaine was just expensive.
It had comedians backs for years.
Speaker 6I know, Yeah, we betrayed.
Speaker 3It, fancy.
Speaker 5I'm still gonna send it and murdered it and murdered a handful of people, and then we turned our backs on it.
Hey, let's I'd like to give our flowers to cocaine real quick.
Speaker 2Sure figure out.
I feel like had a.
Speaker 5Hell of a run.
Then these new fangled drugs come in and kind of take over.
Speaker 3They're so new and so fangled, they're so fangled they're illegal.
Speaker 2Did they prescribe adderall to kids with ADHD yes?
Did it?
It does the opposite for someone with ady D correct me.
Yeah, a smart guy, resident smart guy who can't read well.
Speaker 3No, it's not that I know this from reading about it.
That they gave me that ship.
In college, my coach was like, your grades are garbage.
Speaker 7Maybe try some adderall.
And I was like, yeah, all right, And I went to like the team doctor.
Speaker 2That's awesome.
Speaker 5You I want to go to that team.
Speaker 7Doctor licked my ass and then, oh my god, clicked your ass?
Speaker 3Did you say licked your ass?
He's just checking it out to make sure it worked.
Speaker 4Wait, okay, okay, continue and.
Speaker 3Gave me adderall.
I took some and went to class and sat next to this girl on my swim team, and I was just jumping out the gym.
She was like, what is wrong with you?
And I go, I don't know.
I was like doing drawings and be.
Speaker 2Like was this funny?
And she was like, this is crazy.
I imagine you would have turned into that dude from White Lotus, like the guy who's running the hotel who just starts banging allies.
Speaker 3Killed it man.
Yeah, yeah, it was crazy.
She was like, what's wrong with you?
Speaker 2Yeah?
Speaker 5Is that what you're saying?
You could just see drs turning like super duper gay right away.
Speaker 2Turning no control on adderall.
Speaker 3It's just it's the adderall right.
Speaker 5I don't know if it has anything to do with the adderall.
I can't stop these guys specifically.
Speaker 3It must be the adderall.
Speaker 5That's why you can't.
You can't do too much of it because it will like tweak you out, like you have to really start off super duper small.
Speaker 2No.
Speaker 7But I but I did one and Blake is right the guy I went to the doctor.
I was like, I went crazy, and he goes, yeah.
Some people have the adverse effect where you like it doesn't even you out.
Speaker 5Well, if you don't need it, they perscribe that to you, and you didn't need it.
So if you need it, then it calms you down and helps you focus, but if you don't need it, it goes.
Speaker 3I gave it to homies instantly.
Speaker 7I was like, this is I'm gonna jump out of a window on this stuff, and they were like, could.
Speaker 3We have it?
Speaker 8Oh?
Speaker 4I used to take that ship all the time when when I was cutting, like cutting sketches and stuff.
I would wake up and just take adderall and then go, you're a cutter.
Yeah, cutting like editing.
Speaker 3Ain't like that.
No, no, no, no, ain't like that.
But uh yeah, every morning it just fucking cut comedy.
Speaker 5I'm very glad that it's not, uh that none of us were are like real drug addicts, because like talking just specifically for myself, I'm like, I could have really if this were the eighties, and I've said this before, and like cocaine was everywhere in the comedy clubs, I would have been a full.
Speaker 6Blown cocaine without a down.
Speaker 5Yeah, and uh, I'm glad that I didn't come up in the in the early mid eighties.
It's where people would get paid in cocaine.
Speaker 3But at the same time, way more fun.
Speaker 5Yeah, that probably would have been way over.
Speaker 4Is that what it was like, it was just floating around.
People actually got paid in coke.
Speaker 6Yeah, that's like the stories.
Speaker 3Yeah, that was the whole.
Like you go to a party and there'd be like a giant coke.
Speaker 7Tray going around like a butler carrying it, and shit, can you imagine?
Speaker 3Wow?
Incredible?
Wow wow wow.
So on the last.
Speaker 5Podcast, we're talking about how easy it would be to get meth at a truck stop.
Speaker 3We did care.
Speaker 5How easy would it be to get mushrooms at all?
Speaker 2Oh so easy?
Very absolutely.
I would even say it might be easier to get meth at a bowling alley than at a.
Speaker 8Truth Do you know, actually, do you know where the place is to get mushrooms?
Where it's at the where they tell you how heavy the ball is?
The way station at the bowling alley?
Speaker 3The pro Shop?
Are you talking about the pro Shop?
Speaker 2Are you talking about the pro Shop?
Bro?
Speaker 3What do you want to know about the pro Shop?
Speaker 6Having a laugh, he's pulling a yes, mommy, because.
Speaker 2They do weigh your ball at the pro Shop.
Speaker 3Okay, waiting something.
Speaker 7They're weighing something they gotta wait for.
They got to scale for something.
Speaker 4That's where they drill your ball if you could also get your name engraved in the ball, and you can get them to say whatever you want.
Speaker 3That's the fun part about on a ball.
Speaker 2Twizzlers are the fucking worst folk Twizzler.
I hate Twizzler.
All my homies Twizzler, do you hate?
Speaker 6I always gotta grab one, though, I don't hate Twizzler.
Speaker 3Yeah, but are they still on the shelves.
Speaker 2They are on the shoves.
You don't hate Twizzlers.
Speaker 3No, okay, they're on the shelves.
There's a fucking market.
There's a market.
Speaker 5You said, all my homies hate Twizzler.
I do believe that we're friends, and I like Twizzler.
I'm aw I've come from a Twizzler family.
Speaker 6Red Vines whoop They don't.
Speaker 2But you do agree red Vines whooped the ship out of Twizzlers.
Speaker 3They're not as slime.
Speaker 5Absolutely don't.
Speaker 2Oh my god, Wait, Adam said, absolutely, don't.
Speaker 5Correct don't.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I just wanted to make sure we got that across.
Speaker 6So you're a Twizzler man, Yeah, I like Twizzlers better than Redvine.
Speaker 3So you might like my drink.
Speaker 2You might like I don't like.
Speaker 5Black liquors, though, Twizzlers aren't black liquorice.
They had the classic twizz.
Speaker 7Dude, you know what red vines have like a weird cult following where people are like, you're either on the inside or you're not, And I'm like, funk off.
Speaker 3They're gross.
They're all gross.
Speaker 6They're like a little waxy.
Speaker 2When they're soft and fresh, Oh my god, they're.
Speaker 3Right straight themselves and fresh straight out the tub.
Speaker 4You get the plastic tub and you put that in the first couple out of there, they're warm and nice and wonderful.
Speaker 6The last warm they didn't come from the oven.
Speaker 2Well, he's been sitting on them.
Speaker 3Pliable.
Speaker 2Yeah, we're sitting on him in the car, brush.
Speaker 7Off the truck driving cross country from the laboratory.
Speaker 3They're made in pliable because by the end, their heart is a rock.
This is the way.
Speaker 2Well, you want to know the real game changer, No, you want to know the real licorice game changer?
Speaker 7I guess what Australian black licorice, mate, That's what I'm saying, May what is.
Speaker 2That Australian liqoric it's.
Speaker 4Really good, Australian black liquorice?
Speaker 3What is this?
Speaker 2Both all the liquorishes if it's Australian.
That ship is so straight up fire thundercat it is delicioso.
Remember when we had that, like cool?
Was it just a lunch meeting with with Cheech and he gave us like a trust Chong.
No, it was definitely cheap.
No, it was chea definitely cheap.
Speaker 3It was cheat blakes right.
Speaker 5I never met with Cheech Mari and I met with Tommy Chong.
That's the only person I've ever met with.
Speaker 2Oh, we went to lunch with Cheach and he got malibu, right mm hmm yeah, and he said.
Speaker 3That was how you get rich.
Guys.
Speaker 6I was not there.
Speaker 2Oh dude, you missed out.
He was a really freaking cool dude.
Speaker 3It was awesome.
Speaker 2What a legend.
But he was saying the most fucked up he ever got on an edible was off of some weed back Leva, because I think it was like weed infused honey and just like layers upon layers of it, and it just sounded like a quite the quite the magical trip.
Speaker 5Quite the event.
Speaker 4Honey in your tea is great for the winter.
That actually reminds me, it makes me want to get some THHC.
Speaker 3Honey.
Let's not talk about Cheach or chong because everyone we talk about dies.
Speaker 5Yeah, that's true, So moving don't don't talk about people that we like.
Speaker 2Boy, good call erase that scratch that.
Speaker 3Can we please fucking play some pickleball?
Okay?
Speaker 2Oh yeah, bitch, Okay, he's back everybody.
Speaker 6He's into the pickleball.
Speaker 4The last time I talked about it, I said I was thinking about getting into it, and now I have.
Speaker 6You thought about it?
Speaker 2It's official, and now I.
Speaker 3Thought about it.
I'm in it.
Now I'm playing it.
Speaker 4Now I'm playing pickleball, and I'm playing it as much as I can.
And I fucking love the game.
Okay, and I want to play with you guys.
Speaker 6Are you dropping LB's playing pickleball?
Speaker 3Um?
Yeah?
Yeah?
Speaker 6Is it an exercise thing or is just a fun thing?
Speaker 3It's both.
It's both.
I like to have both, you know, and one and it's it's.
Speaker 6Great as you should.
Speaker 4It's great cardio, great back and forth, good hand eye coordination, and just a lot of fun with friends.
Speaker 3And that's why I think we should do it together.
Okay, are you down?
Speaker 2I love?
Speaker 3Yeah, you find a cord, I'll be there.
Speaker 2How competitive does it get?
Kyle like?
Are you like challenge?
Are you playing against some young gohrd some vets.
Are you like learning with people?
Speaker 3Like?
Speaker 2What can we expect here?
Speaker 4I've been learning with people for the past like four months and just playing with friends, but the games get pretty heeded.
Speaker 3What does that mean you've been learning with people?
Speaker 4Well, we've been playing, like learning the rules.
Like you know, there's certain ways you have to serve in certain I guess I'm wondering.
Speaker 3I'm asking, like, who are you playing with?
Speaker 4No, I was playing with the producers on Shadows.
We would sneak away and that's how we got it out of our system, is we would go and just play fucking pickleball and watch the Q take.
Speaker 3So let me get this straight.
Don't walk it back.
You were you were, so don't walk it back.
I said it was scheduled.
Speaker 4You were so busy schedule podcasts, and well this was Monday through Friday.
Speaker 3Who was instead you were playing pickleball?
And now and now you want to come back and play us in pickleball?
Speaker 5Yeah, okay, correct, after you decided not to do the podcast for a few weeks, obviously spent sell yes, so then you could come and lowered your pickleball supremacy over us.
Speaker 6We obviously aren't.
Speaker 5Going to be as good, even though the three of us were all physically and athletically more gifted than you.
Speaker 3Yes, I gotta jump on it.
Speaker 2Yeah, so you're saying.
Speaker 5You put a pause on the podcast so you could get a leg up on us.
Speaker 3Honestly, if you had just told me, guys, I'm I'm gonna play pickleball instead of the podcast, I would have said, salute respect, go do your thing.
Oh but the fact that I'm finding out about it now, yeah, yeah, that's right.
Speaker 4But god damn, you guys really put me in a corner on that one.
Speaker 2Oh, you yourself in the corner.
Speaker 3I can't wait to play you now.
I'm gonna be hitting you with a drop.
Speaker 5I remember, I remember when we were talking about nine to eleven, trying to have a moment.
Speaker 3On this podcast that we've had to recreate with.
Speaker 5You trying to have a moment about nine to eleven, You said, hey, can I say something real quick?
Speaker 6And then you outed yourself.
Speaker 3Yeah yeah, and.
Speaker 6Playing pickleball.
And that's why you left the podcast just to get better at pickleball.
Speaker 2You got a point in time, we're allowed to drop off the pod to get better at a skill, at a skill.
Speaker 3At a reindeer game.
It can't be anything real.
It's gotta be a reindeer game.
Speaker 2I want to get good at drone racing.
Speaker 3I love that.
That's the thing about pickleball.
It's a budding fucking sport.
There's a pro circuit.
You know what else is a budding sport?
Ultimate frisbee and it just never will be.
And what's the other one where you slam the ball off the little net?
Speaker 2Oh?
Yeah, that's the beach game.
That game looks cool as fu.
By the way, there's a college scene.
Speaker 6It's smash ball.
It's it is it smash It is smash ball.
Speaker 2Yeah, yes, smash ball.
Speaker 6I live on the beach.
It's smash ball.
Speaker 2I see it.
Speaker 3That's the thing, bro.
Speaker 4They have pickleball tournaments down in Newport, and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna start signing up for fucking tournaments soon and traveling and trying to win because I'm trying to get fucking prone.
Speaker 2Know how much do you need to prepare for the tournament?
Speaker 3Because I can't even believe you're here?
Yeah?
Speaker 5Wait, do you got to take six months off the podcast so you could go train for this tournament.
Speaker 3Or gonna I mean maybe, but hopefully not perfect.
Speaker 7Earlier we touched on something and I'm kind of I'm kind of scared to do this because it's a flower situation.
Speaker 3People keep dying that we talk about.
Speaker 5Yes, well specifically that you talk about.
I feel like you are the one that brings it up and then they die right away, So it might be, Yeah, do you want me to bring up the jerky boys?
Speaker 3Go for oh, the jerky Boys?
Speaker 7Okay, yeah, how funny were the jerky boys take?
Speaker 2They're very good?
Do you want to give them their flowers?
Are you gonna give them a kiss of death or what?
Speaker 3I don't know what I'm gonna give them, but don't give them COVID fucking shit.
Speaker 7When I think I was at summer camp and somebody had the tape and they played it and we would just be in the bunks like before night or whatever.
Speaker 2Oh dude, and just losing our.
Speaker 3Minds listening to these prank calls.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, dude, have you got speaking of prink calls?
Because that is a lost art.
Speaker 3Nobody else, nobody else, No jerky.
Speaker 2Boys rule now, super funny.
Speaker 6I never really listened to Jerky.
Speaker 2Boys to it.
Speaker 3It is fucking unbelievable.
If you're eleven or ten, it's twice as good.
Speaker 2I want to put you on another one.
Longmont potion Castle.
Have you ever listened to his print calls?
They are my boys, skinner, Put me on him.
He's it's so funny, dude, just like hilarious.
Speaker 3Say those words again, long.
Speaker 2Mont potion Castle.
It's like kind of an underground.
Speaker 5And it rolls off the tongue.
Speaker 2Long or long long like big dick Daddy long long month.
Speaker 6Like not short, but long l O N G m O n T.
Speaker 7Potion Castle, long Mont Like that's probably a street name or of place or something.
Potion Castle.
Speaker 2The dude's super like mysterious.
Nobody knows who he is.
He's been doing it forever.
There it's so funny, and it's prank phone call, prank phone calls.
Speaker 5Hell walk Well, you're not you're not explaining it that well, just saying it's so funny.
Speaker 2Like what is it?
Just you gotta go in?
Speaker 5So why is it so funny?
Speaker 2Blake?
He just fucks with people so hard.
It's a lost art.
It is like prank calling was so fun Kyle, you were really good at it.
Speaker 4Yeah, I mean I I would jump in.
Of course, Bro, I'm game for just about fucking anything.
Speaker 3Dog.
You know what, Well, we're specifically talking about prank phone.
Speaker 4Calling, but I'm trying to remember, like what were my good ones?
What would I remember calling on the radio?
Speaker 3Like radio?
And I would be like, what about a bungee jumping?
Speaker 2The best one?
Speaker 8That?
Speaker 3It's a hole in my memory?
What are you talking about?
Speaker 2The best one that Kyle ever did that I remember very well is you called a Chinese food restaurant and you said that he found a contact in your soup.
No, you said you found a cunt hare in your soup, and they thought you were saying contact, And it was just a who's on first of you and this poor person working at the Chinese restaurant going contact in your suit and You're like, no, conta hare contair in my like nobody wears contacts, nobody wears contacts.
And it just really got nowhere, and I think you eventually are like, I gotta go, dude.
But I remember we were just young kids, like on at John Paul's house and I'm just crying, laughing because we have him on speakerphone.
I'm just crying.
I'm like, Kyle right here.
Speaker 3It was after that that I said, I will follow this man anywhere.
Speaker 5Here's a dark secret.
It's not the same.
I guess it's not the same.
I went to I feel, to me, roller rinks are similar vibes as bowling out.
Speaker 6Yes, yes, I agree, but it's just it just skews younger.
Speaker 3As cosmic bowllying.
Speaker 6Yeah, no, that's bowling Alley's in general.
Speaker 4Well, they have dance like roller rinks have like dancing disco balls and stuff.
Speaker 2They have the same carpets, they play the same This sort of smells the same, and you're.
Speaker 3Oh, you know what it is.
They play the hockey pokes.
Speaker 2Snack shacks, serves the same stuff.
Speaker 3You know what it is.
It's because you're renting shoes.
Speaker 5Yeah, maybe that's because in both.
Speaker 3Places shoes are being rented.
Speaker 4So there's tons of fucking shoes off smell and there's wood floors.
Speaker 5So at ours in Omaha, Nebraska, there was we had skate land and then they had like this crazy huge pladaisium right.
Speaker 3With like now what is that step up?
Speaker 5Like uh, you know like at McDonald's where they have the ballpit like a discovery zone exactly like a discovery ez shout and that was the first time I ever finger banged a human woman.
Speaker 3Oh what dude, Yeah, that was the spot.
Speaker 6Yeah, in the pladisium.
Damn son, where'd you find that?
Speaker 5It was her idea.
Speaker 6She was like, let's climb up in the pladisium.
Speaker 5And I'm like, oh, this is crazy.
Speaker 3A human woman, a human woman?
Speaker 4Do you want to step out the adjective human is just why did you?
Was there a?
Speaker 2Okay?
Speaker 3They not Sometimes they smell of that bat gets you reved up to.
Speaker 5The jungle and concre Yeah, and then and then I remember not even I don't even know if like there was an insertion.
I think it was just like I just kind of patted the outside.
Speaker 6Yeah, it was.
Speaker 5Just I just didn't know what I was doing.
I was just flipping and flapping.
Speaker 2The grim details of like your first time finger bangings a woman is it's hard.
It's hard to find the right.
Speaker 5Dude, no idea.
I didn't even know that there was an inside.
Speaker 3I mean, neither of you know.
Speaker 2No, it was so hard even.
Speaker 5Actually I must have known that, but in the moment, my heart was racing way too hard.
Yeah, just so nervous.
Speaker 6But where mine was in a in a tube of a plataisium?
Where was yours?
Speaker 2Blaky back of a car?
Yeah?
Parked classic?
Speaker 3What kind of car?
Speaker 2Yeah?
Speaker 5The way you guys climbed in the back, there was not a lot of climbing in the back for me, it was it was a lot of front seats.
Speaker 2Yeah, I think there was.
Like I was at a house party and then like the place where we could go to be alone was the car?
Speaker 3Sure, hey, you want to go see my car?
The way?
Speaker 6Was that your move?
Speaker 2Kick all the taco bell out of the way right fourth mile?
Speaker 5Did you go?
Speaker 8Like?
Speaker 5Hey, uh, I got the sweet backseat of my car?
Speaker 6Or it was just sort of imploid.
Speaker 2It wasn't my car.
I couldn't drive.
Kyle probably drove me to the party?
Speaker 3Was my car?
Speaker 6So it was the backseat of Kyle's car?
Speaker 3Which car?
Bro Kyle's car?
Speaker 2Either?
No?
Speaker 3What car?
What car did you do this?
Then?
Speaker 5Huh?
Speaker 2I think it was her car?
Speaker 3Which one of my cars?
Did you do this in?
Speaker 5Okay, you dirty dog?
Speaker 2It might have been your car?
Speaker 4Was it the eighty nine Honda a Cord the eighty six Pulsar?
Speaker 6All right, we got a car.
We gotta Playdasium.
Speaker 4Kyle, I plead the fifth on this one.
I think I know, well, you know where it is.
No, because mine's in the car too, is the saint?
I said that it was in the back of the van.
It was in the back of the fucking van.
Speaker 5We don't plead the fifth, just we don't need to know the girl's name.
Speaker 3By the way, I plead the fifth.
It was a van.
Speaker 5Okay, I know, Workaholics main characters ranked by intelligence?
Speaker 2Yes, yes, a hot take, good luck.
Speaker 5So it says it does say that Carl is the dumbest, which I kind of I don't know if I would agree with it.
Speaker 3So, but let's Seeah, he's the human genius and they didn't mention that once.
Speaker 2Does it say that?
Is that the rank or did they just start listing characters?
Wait, it says that Carl's the No, no, no, it starts with the dumbest.
Speaker 4First mission accomplished, baby fucking mission accomplished, Dougie, Right, how could.
Speaker 2They say the human genius, this is the dumbest character.
Speaker 5It's iron Hey, I don't know, he says.
However, he proves to be one of the show's least intelligent characters.
When these schemes don't work out, okay.
From his burrito restaurant to the various functionalities of his van, Carl's foolish ideas often underscore his lack of wits.
You know what, screen rant, Alex Genteel, fuck you.
Speaker 3Okay, send him a case of blueberry.
Speaker 2Carl is a future thinker.
He might not seem smart in today, but he's thinking so many steps ahead that you don't even know what he's saying is intelligent.
He says ice currency of the future.
He actually has a freaking point, all right, doesn't That.
Speaker 3Was the start of cryptocurrency.
I know.
Speaker 4I was like, where are you gonna h No, Ice currency of the future is just the start.
Speaker 2We won't have ice anymore, and we're gonna be paying for ice.
It's the start that will be our point.
Speaker 4We can't make it in refrigerators because electricity will also go right.
Speaker 3It's just me Australian.
Speaker 4Have you guys noticed this when you go to the airports and stuff, The international currency exchange acronym is ice and a global currency is where we're headed.
So ice actually is the currency of the future.
Speaker 6Oh my god, wow, Alex, you got that wrong.
Speaker 5Yeah, it's been a long time since I've gotten like a blue literated on weed like I've been.
I've been so like now I know the amount that I like to smoke, uh and just feel good.
Yes, But it's been a long time since I've been like around a group and instead of like going like, hey, we're gonna have some drinks, we'll smoke a little bit of weed.
We'll do this.
It's been a long time since I've been like, all right, we're gonna hot box this tent or whatever stone.
Yeah, we're gonna wear this gas mask and get fucked up.
Speaker 4I do remember Blake a little bit, like when we would go down the phone line and or the phone book and.
Speaker 3Call actual people.
Speaker 4That was not as satisfying as calling establishments like established.
Speaker 2I've gotten a lot of trouble from that.
Speaker 3Do you remember what happened?
Speaker 2We were like hammered.
I should have got one.
We were like hammered in like the driveway, just drinking little cornitas or whatever those little coronas are were Mickey grenades, and we were like just doing random ass phone numbers.
And I got this lady to pick up and it was late, it was like one o'clock or whatever, and she picks up, and I was just kind of like, Mom, I'm I'm in jail.
The worst thing you can do, like real jail, I'm in jail.
And then like she's just kind of like.
Speaker 3What a young child in jail?
Speaker 2The best She's just like Jason, Jason is that you?
Speaker 3And I'm like I have to go.
Speaker 2And then I hung up, and of course she calls that.
Speaker 5You do a little girl's voice, and then the mom is like, Jason.
Speaker 2Is that you?
Speaker 3He was young?
He was young, Blake was late to puberty.
Speaker 2Well, whatever it was, I must have nailed it because she kept calling, waiting for it.
I must have nailed it because she kept calling back, back back back.
I feel so bad until the next morning, I kind of had forgotten about it, and I was like just about to get in the shower and the phone rings and I pick it up and it's her and she's like who is this.
I'm like I I'm like, oh shit, oh shit.
I couldn't think fast enough.
And I was like I was like Blaine and she's like Blaine what And I'm like Andy, So.
Speaker 3Yeah, this is what comes from?
Speaker 2Why does she say?
She said?
Speaker 5Blaine?
Speaker 2Andy?
So I want you to know that I've I've alerted the authorities.
They have your phone number, and I was like, oh god, I can't believe the fucking name.
I came up with Blaine Andy, so but I was so scared.
Speaker 5And then they go, well, Blake Anderson lives there.
Do we think that has any correlation.
Speaker 3With somebody at just watched tackers like they can change these things.
Now, it could be calling from anywhere.
Speaker 6And then the cops are like, now let's go get some snacks.
Speaker 2Dude.
I was so terrified.
I felt so bad.
It's like, looking back, that was really a mean thing to do.
The sun must not have been home.
Speaker 3Right, it must he was in jail.
You might have hit it right on the head.
Speaker 2Bro, yeahs.
Speaker 5Run away.
Speaker 2This might not have been your first, but you didn't.
You have a really legendary one on a ski lift.
Speaker 10Bro, you're here, that's legendary.
I'm still gonna send Blake is like my fucking historian, due my hero.
Speaker 5A legendary fingerbang is the funniest thing.
Speaker 3Also like the worst, Like then you're going back in a glove.
Speaker 6Yeah, so cold.
Speaker 4No, I feel like I know you're totally right, absolutely, because it was like you're alone and you can fucking like you're alone the whole way up there and you can get some ship done.
Speaker 5Yeah, but also like it's a weird spot for like your wrist, it's uncomfortable for her.
Speaker 6It's cold for sure.
Speaker 3Can you imagine if I would have just fell like reaching around?
Speaker 5Amazing, the funniest way to be paralyzed.
Speaker 6Yes, yes, money, let's.
Speaker 3Go, or you're just dangling by it?
Speaker 6Kyle, Oh my god, how how did this happen?
Speaker 2You can't walk any locker?
Speaker 5How did this happen?
Speaker 2Well, well, still gonna send it.
Man, dude the ski lift jersey, what you.
Speaker 3Got, I'll tell you real quick.
But if you did fall and then you just had to kind of clinch to dangle from yeah, not good.
Oh man?
Speaker 7Yea, this was an inn a basement.
This girl who didn't go to our school's basement.
She had a sauna in her basement.
Speaker 5Oh wait, so this was that's that's even cooler.
Wait a minute, a girl that did not go to your school.
Yeah, that's fucking so gangster dude.
Speaker 3Had like a big house.
Speaker 7So we're like, let's roll over to this rich girl's house.
Damn, she had a sauna in the basement.
Speaker 2Hot, hot, hot hot.
Speaker 6I didn't even know such well.
Speaker 3Things it was off, the sauna was off.
Speaker 2That's got dangerous as well.
It feels like all of our finger banging situations were kind of a final destination.
Speaker 3Somebody.
Speaker 7Yeah, so that's it all right, cool, let's awkwardly go back to the group of people.
Speaker 5Well we got we got interrupted multiple times in the Plada Asia.
It'd be like, sure, literal children are coming in, or.
Speaker 2Like the dad's in the knee path.
We're not kids.
Speaker 5We were like, I don't know, must have been fourteen or fifteen.
Uh so we weren't like true children.
I mean we were children, but we weren't like little nine year olds like kids were just like swinging in being like can I more like tubes closed?
Speaker 2Get out of here?
Some kids shot in the ball pitch.
Speaker 7Have I told you I've had the exact same experience at him what?
Speaker 5Yeah, I feel like we have talked about this week.
Speaker 7Mine was like a high school like ironic lock in.
Everybody was on certain teams that involved water.
Speaker 2Uh oh, okay, okay, swimming next edition.
Speaker 5Okay, So.
Speaker 3Well wait, what are we hiding here?
Speaker 7It was wild, wild times, So what is it?
What is it about the discovery zone kind of thing.
Speaker 2That's it.
Never let your kids go to the ballpit in McDonald Fuck.
Speaker 3Well, it's like your first it's your first freedom.
You're like out of the site, you're hidden.
Speaker 5Yes, it's the first time that you could be like remember when you your mom would let you like go in the McDonald's play Daisium and you climb up there and you're like, I'm all alone right now.
Just sit in the tube like I'm just in the tube.
Speaker 4Like they're like, chuck e cheese behind the fucking don't suck anyone's What are you saying.
Speaker 6Like I'll suck anything in here?
Speaker 9I don't know, Yes, mummy, Wait so the d Z or the McDonald's McDonald's play Daisy, but I guess we're calling it is like the og truck stop.
Speaker 7You just go in there and you kind of like wait and someone comes in and you're like, okay, let's do this.
Speaker 5Yeah, it's the child's glory hole.
Yeah, it's it's a child hood's truck stop.
A childhood Uh, that's that's our version of the truck stop.
Speaker 2Let go.
Speaker 5Durs are you ever since you've been a swimmer for so for so long.
Are you ever like you're meeting a group of people and you're in your speedo.
Are you ever like a little embarrassed by the size of your cock in your speedo?
Speaker 6Or Adam, are you ever like Adam, Adam, I should juice it up?
Speaker 3Or adam?
Ye know, stop what this is making me uncomfortable.
Speaker 7I feel like, as long as you have it in the right position, you're okay.
Speaker 5You know it's the positioning.
Speaker 7Yeah, if you have it like, it'll never get too small.
There's some positions where like the speedo kind of will press it down and back into your body.
Speaker 5It's going inside and then it's just like one little yea, one little nub.
Speaker 3Cut to commercials, cut to commercials.
In high school, I was a true psychopath and I just remember this the other day.
Speaker 5You used to juice yourself up.
Oh god, what now crank down in the pool?
Speaker 3No, no, But so so there's a speedo that's like
Speaker 2No?
Speaker 3tight on you right, called a drag suit.
Do you guys know what a dragsuit is?
Speaker 4Of course, I know what a dragsuit is.
So loosers beto that goes on top of the speed.
Speaker 7It's like a looser speedo it's all like a box cut.
It's more like a box cut.
Speaker 5I didn't did not know this.
Speaker 2And it's like board shorts.
Speaker 3No no, no, no no.
It's like a speedo on top of a speedo, but it's looser.
I'm sorry why, yeah, but it's like it's like a baggy speed Oh.
Speaker 7Just so like when you are racing and you lose the drag suit, you feel much faster, right, because it's not like it's holding your bag.
Speaker 3Yeah, exactly so, because at some point in high school I just started only wearing the drag suit without the speedo underneath.
Speaker 5Because because your cock looked better just in the dragscial.
Speaker 3I don't even I don't think it looked better.
It's just it was like kind of fun to swim because then it would just kind of like be loose and wagging.
Speaker 5Right, Oh, so your dick would wag and like the commercial.
Speaker 3Well yeah, it was just kind of like fun.
You felt you were swimming naked, but then when you get out of the pool, you just had your dick.
Speaker 7Like fully kind of saran wrapped, like Harrison Ford and the Cryo whatever the fuck it was, the carbon Nite carbon My dick was just like hands up, like, and I didn't realize it until just the other day.
I was like, that was probably not okay or like just weird for everybody around.
Speaker 3Yeah, no, we're all getting a little weirded out about this one.
You guys are just it's okay.
Speaker 4You can get fucking stoned, and especially work in this business.
You can get stoned all day, every day and still be okay.
You mean medicated, yeah, stone, plant medicine whatever, you know.
Speaker 5Yeah, I can't though, because I can't act when I'm really high, because I get two in my head.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 4Acting is definitely different than sitting at the monitors watching future television or watching future movies.
Sure, absolutely, that's easy.
It's good for me to do that because I don't.
Speaker 7Get your sentence have never been said, you got you like smoking weed on set sometimes because acting is different than watching future television, Well it is.
Speaker 3I mean a man is back.
I don't know.
Speaker 4I don't act enough to know if I would be okay while super stone, but I would definitely try.
Speaker 2That's true.
Speaker 5Well, my I you know, I've tried it a few times, and I when I watched the performance back, I'm like, oh, I'm too.
I could tell that I'm high, and it's it's it makes the performance a little wonky at least for me.
But I mean I've did it, like when I was first starting out doing stand up, and then I've never done it again just because I was like, I know a lot of comics that do get high before shows and they love it.
Speaker 4Right, I think that would flip me the fuck out, bro, I think I would tweak.
Speaker 5I was like, Okay, maybe I'll try that.
And so it's like when I was like open my key.
It was like six months into doing stand up when I'm like, you know, twenty years older, nineteen, and uh, I was like my whole shit changed, Like I'm pretty high energy, especially when I'm on stage, and uh really and suddenly I was just.
Speaker 7Even when I'm on stage, yeah, even especially when you're onstage right right, but no, even I gotta go on stage to relax.
Speaker 4You're the fastest, You're the fastest mouth in the West on stage, Bro.
Speaker 5I'm shooting baby, and uh yeah, I was just like slow mo up there, and I didn't I didn't like it.
Speaker 6The thoughts weren't coming fast.
Speaker 3Were you slow mo?
Do you think you seem slow mo?
Or do you think you just felt slow mo.
Speaker 6My friends in the back of the club were.
Speaker 3Like, hey, you seem really slow mo.
You were vibra.
Speaker 6Yeah.
Speaker 5Well they knew that I had smoked with them and so they knew that I was trying this for the first time, and they were like, yeah, maybe that's not your thing.
Yeah, maybe you shouldn't get high right before, Doug Benson, you're not because I think if your delivery is really slow and you and the way you tell stories is really slow and deliberate, when when my shit is is coming at you pretty rapid fly.
Speaker 3Ya, Yeah it's quick.
Speaker 2Yeah, you're not really getting dug with high man and we not everybody can.
Speaker 6That is true.
Speaker 5I remember specifically one time, me and my buddy Zach, we were in high school and my sister was in middle school and our middle school.
You guys have been in my house.
It's like right in my backyard.
The middle school's right there, like you could throw and so we had some like rockets and we like shot them off and they're like at recess, and we shot them off and they exploded.
Speaker 6Over the kid's head.
Uh, and we thought it was hilarious.
Speaker 5We were stoned, and then we bailed and went back to school, and uh, my sister calls me.
We go back in the house and I just hear the phones ringing and ringing and ringing, and it's a she's leaving a message on the voice recorder and she goes, had them.
Oh my god, Oh my god, had him.
Speaker 3I can't believe who's that?
That was you?
Right, you gotta get out of there.
Speaker 5The police are gonna come and hit some kid in the chest on the face in their chest is O burt.
Speaker 3Oh my god, why are you admitting this?
Speaker 5And I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, Zach, I think we mutilated a child.
And and then we bail, and uh.
I spend the rest of the day at school thinking that I mutilated a child.
And then I come home and my dad was like, Adam, can I talk to you?
Speaker 6And I'm like, what's that?
Speaker 5And then he's like, uh, I was handcuffed in our backyard this afternoon, and I go, wait what He came home and then like winter to go pick up dog shit in the backyard and two cops like flopped out of a bush and handcuffed him.
Speaker 3Wait, this wasn't a Brittany and Dennis Prank phone call to you.
No, no, no, no, that's what I thought.
I thought this was a fucking twist.
Speaker 5And he goes, I was handcuffed, and I'm like, shit, I'm I'm so sorry.
I can't believe that it happened.
We didn't think anyone was going to get hit.
And then Brittany and Dad go, we got you, motherfucker.
Speaker 4Okay, well they got the cops in on it too, pulled the rug out or no, he just he just made up that.
Speaker 3He just made it up.
There's no cops, No, there was, there was cops.
Speaker 2Wait what cops came?
They did.
Speaker 5They didn't handcuff him, arrest him, but cops came because we did shoot rockets off at their So they called the police and were like, some kids are shooting rockets at these children, which, in hindsight, you know, bad call.
Speaker 3Yeah right, not a good look.
That's a good take back for later.
Anyway, go ahead.
Speaker 2True, I'm sorry, mama.
Speaker 3Real quick.
Watching Hitchcock the other night and you brought up bread obviously, I just want to bring this up.
This movie I was watching from was from like nineteen thirty five.
Speaker 2Okay, yeah, he wasn't watching that the other night.
Speaker 7And they go to the back to the dude's apartment afterwards, and she's like, you got any food?
And he throws He's like, how's herring?
And she goes, yeah, okay, great.
So he throws a full herring onto like the skillet for like after bar food, and I'm just.
Speaker 2Like, that's a fish?
Speaker 1What?
Speaker 3Yeah?
Speaker 7Like times have changed?
And then he pulls out He's like, you want some bread?
Wait, hang on, he goes want some bread?
Speaker 3She goes, yeah, sure.
He pulls out a loaf.
Speaker 7Of bread that's not sliced like a full like it looks like wonderbread, and then starts slicing slices and I'm like, well, when did slice I'd come out because the saying like best things and slice.
Speaker 3Bread, wasn't that?
Speaker 4The whole thing about Betty White is that she was Yes, she was older, was.
Speaker 3Born before Yeah, then sliced rice spread yep.
So yes, so it's after her birthday.
Speaker 5Crazy to me that it took that long to just have someone be like, what if we cut it and then put it in the I mean.
Speaker 3But that's there's so many things all the time that are like that.
Speaker 5I know.
It makes you go like how what what sweet?
Ass investment do we or invention?
Do we get on heavy bowling?
Wait wait wait old power bowling?
What crypto bowling bowling in the metaverse?
But cosmically what did you just.
Speaker 3Walk that back?
Yes, but if you don't go forward, you just walk that back, and let's walk it back, okay, far back in because.
Speaker 4I feel like I might buy unsliced bread so that I can choose how thick my slice is gonna be.
Speaker 3You know what I mean?
I feel like that.
Speaker 5I don't know if you can find see now you have that privilege, goodbye, that might be refreshing.
Now you have that privilege, that might be refresher.
Speaker 2Just tak your own bread texas thin cut after you're buying bread, just to cut it.
Speaker 5I could see Kyle being the type of guy that went through his baking his own bread.
Speaker 2Face Yeah, no, which is dope.
Speaker 5Did you ever go through a baking of your own bread?
Speaker 2Face?
Speaker 3Oh yeah, we baked it the coolest, Yeah we did it.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's dope.
But buying wonder bread, that's unslice.
I don't know.
I don't know what you're getting at there.
You just want to cut the bread.
Speaker 5I thought it was clear I had to wear a onesie for Mike and Dave need wedding dates.
And I remember, like, what.
Speaker 3Do you mean onesie like a wrestling singlet?
Speaker 6Like a wrestling singlet?
Speaker 2Sure?
Speaker 5And I remember just like when I talk to the side, because I was like, I don't want to cut, and so I'm like pulling it to the side and it looked obscene like Zach Zach wore another pair to like press everything down.
It's like you should just wear another so you don't really notice it.
And I'm like, I'm like, well, then I don't look like I don't have a cock.
Sure, So then so then I'm pulling it.
Speaker 3You can't say that.
I think everyone assumes you do have one.
Speaker 5Yeah, no, I don't know.
Speaker 7The thing is, as long as you don't have twin spell and definition, you're okay.
Speaker 2Yes, I covered this in the Ridgecrest on a ridge line.
On the Ridge Line, I told you guys when I was Halloween shopping to be Spider Man.
It was a real big because I have a very pronounced ridge.
Speaker 3That's right, yes, the Ridge Crest.
Speaker 2And it's not easy having a you know, a protruding helmet like that can't really cause a lot.
Speaker 3Do you think you if you fell off a building naked, do you think you could catch the edge with your dick and save your life?
Speaker 2Here's the deal.
If I could somehow detach my dick and throw it, it could be used as a grappling hook.
Speaker 3Is a grappling cock?
Speaker 2Yeah?
I have a harpoon cock.
Yeah, it's a real hook at the end.
Speaker 3Oh it's pointy, hey, point listeners.
Just when you thought we weren't going to talk about our dicks.
Speaker 4Today, A commercial cuts a commercial cuts a commercial.
Speaker 3This is too much.
This is making me sicked out.
Speaker 4I'm getting sicked out, so like I'm getting super sicked out.
Speaker 2All right, all right, all right?
Is this siconading?
Speaker 3This is sickonading me.
Speaker 2I was hoping it would be tantalizing, but it'sating.
Speaker 5We don't want to be sick of ading?
Speaker 3So what what's the verdict?
Speaker 7When you watched Mike and Dave back, do you see the Honda ridgeline?
Speaker 5You should.
I'm trying to show you guys, here there we go, okay.
Speaker 7Because I was like, I was like Adams, we just hit because it's very quiet.
Speaker 5Now I'm trying to show you guys, what now?
Speaker 3What now?
Speaker 2Cuts a commercial.
Speaker 5That's That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3Why is it off to the side.
Why is it off to the side.
The dude, is your finger touching the very end of it?
Speaker 4Yeah, you're touching your own dick in that moment.
Speaker 5I'm probably trying to tick a lit a little bit.
Speaker 3I bet you, there's no doubt in my mind.
Speaker 2Why is there of picture Zach has a picture of himself grabbing his dick too.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, that's him.
Speaker 2I thought that was you, Adam, But we're adjusting.
Speaker 5I think people cared more about Zach stick and you know, there's more photos of this TMZ.
It ended up not making the movie, I think because it was obscene.
Speaker 3You know, it was a little too risque.
Yeah, it's sicking me off.
Speaker 6It was too like my cock is just like out and about.
Speaker 3That's that.
Yeah, you made up for it with Game Over man though.
Yeah.
Speaker 5Yeah, I really let him.
I really let him know it for that movie.
Speaker 3Yeah that was brought to you by Honda Ridgeline.
Yeah we did that one, dude.
Speaker 7So you have these like chunks to memorize.
And it broke my brain because at Workaholics it was a little bit more like passing the mic yeah, and if we did go on a rant, it was most likely not scripted, so.
Speaker 4You're still passing it back and forth because it's improv yes, and we would.
Speaker 3Be improvising, and if we had like a long thing, you could kind of wing it and change a word here, we're there.
But so like my brain just broke doing that.
Speaker 7And then ever since I've done that show, I can memorize things so much easier than.
Speaker 3Ever before, really just because I had to, because I was like, well, fuck, I don't want to be the guy who doesn't know it.
Yeah.
Yeah, and now to read something memorizing it, it's unless there's like a weird fucking Every once.
Speaker 7In a while, there'll be something that I just can't click with.
Yeah, it'll be like this line will not transfer in my brain for some reason.
Speaker 3Right, do you think those like when you have the skill?
Speaker 4I mean, I've never done it, but do you think like those actors like your friend on the soap is he like taking a fucking picture of the page with his mind?
Speaker 3Like how is that happened?
That's Meryl Streep apparently, like she can read a script once or twice and has it memorized.
Has it has like images of it and she knows where No, not.
Speaker 7Even well, I don't know if it's it's she sees the page or she internalizes what she's read, but she just can read it a few page And I'm like, well, no.
Speaker 3Wonder you're good then.
Speaker 5Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3If I could memorize like that and how baked into my soul that quick, I'd be so good.
Yeah, she's not that good as what I'm saying.
Speaker 2She sucks.
Speaker 3She just has this incredible skill.
Speaker 5There was a time that I called myself like rocketman, no jokes.
I called myself the rocket man and cut hundreds of dollars of rockets in my truck and a trunk of my car and then you know, behind the subwofers, No big deal, and.
Speaker 3That's so country.
I love when you talk about them.
Speaker 5And then just had so many rockets, and whenever I was at a party or gas station or parking lot or anywhere, it would just throw a rocket.
Speaker 3Rocket Man, this is the way, rocket man, You got a rocket?
Yeah, let me get into my trunk behind the sub.
Speaker 5Yeah.
Meanwhile, no one called me rocketman.
It was a thing that I'm I definitely was trying to get going for myself.
Speaker 4You've never made French toast out of a regular loaf of bread in your entire what you always have French toast, boche?
You always have brioche bread.
Speaker 3I never make French toast out of nowhere you plan to do it.
Speaker 5I didn't even know French toast was a thing?
What that fuck that you can just make at home?
Speaker 3Until he golfed with Michelle.
Speaker 4We you're you're planning.
You're always planning your French toast.
Onders always enough where you can go get your bread?
Speaker 3Yeah?
What?
Yeah?
Speaker 5How often, Kyle?
How often are you making French toasting?
I didn't even know you could make that at home.
I thought that was like a restaurant specific This is a thing French.
Speaker 3Are you like a Denny's thing?
Speaker 5I thought that was a Denny's type thing.
Speaker 3It is a Denny's type thing.
But French toast is also the type of thing that's.
Speaker 4Supposed to You're supposed to it's supposed to sweep you up in the moment you're supposed to get an idea for French.
Speaker 2Toast, ablutely not.
No instant pancakes are bisquick.
Speaker 3Oh love me some biscuick.
But it's the same concept.
Speaker 2No, French toast is like forced bis quick.
Pancakes are to shake it poor.
Speaker 4You guys don't enjoy cooking at all, right, you don't.
You don't enjoy cooking.
You don't like that part of the kitchen.
Speaker 3Me, no, do you cook?
I'm seriously on the pancakes.
Speaker 2I grill pancakes.
Speaker 4You're not cooking, and you're making the easiest pancakes on planet Earth.
And durs is planning as French toast missions.
So you guys are not just going into the kitchen and looking at what you have and saying, like, if you make bit.
Speaker 7I love Kyle's like the guys like, I'm just gonna see what ingredients I have when I can make with them.
Speaker 4My house, we make dinner every night.
Bro, Like my wife is the cook.
But like I we're talking about us, We're.
Speaker 2Talking about We're talking about Daddy's home.
Speaker 5That's why I'm surprised about French toast.
Speaker 7I don't say your wife is the cook.
Your wife cooks mostly most.
She kick cooks the most.
Speaker 3She does.
She is the cook out of the two of us.
She is.
She teaches me, she teaches me.
But you're talking about a dad meal.
Speaker 4French toast is a motherfucking dad meal, absolutely, so what the fuck?
Speaker 3Lucky Charms is a day meal.
Speaker 5Brok to Wieners Mitchell Domino's mother is a dad littles.
Speaker 4I mean, yes, I'm not going to discount these.
These are good dad meals.
But French toast, French toast.
Speaker 2I can make French toast, but can you?
Speaker 5I don't even I didn't even know that's something that's real, dude.
Speaker 2Yes, it's very easy.
Speaker 3What's the process?
Speaker 2You scrambled the egg, you add the cinnamon, you get bread in it.
Speaker 3Yes, that's what you don't You soak the egg and the bread and the egg.
Speaker 2On the griddle.
Speaker 3Yes, it's so easy, and it's the bomb.
Speaker 2Not as easy.
Speaker 6You got to own a griddle.
Speaker 5So this is like rich people ship.
No wonder why my family never had.
Speaker 3You can do it and it bro that's beautiful.
Speaker 5God damn.
Speaker 7I think I posted a picture.
I was working out one day and just afterwards stretching.
Speaker 3On a man and oh, I get it from the mall where I was laying uh belly down and like sweat stain mark of my dick, and I brought I brought everybody in the gym over to check.
Speaker 2Everybody, come look at this.
That's kind of funny if you're like, hey, what what is this?
What is this?
Speaker 3This?
Speaker 5Like what That's how you got to do it.
That's how you got to do it.
You can't just say come look at my dick here to be like, wait, what is this?
Speaker 3Guys?
Speaker 2What is this on my on my sweat stain?
Speaker 3I got a picture all posts, come here.
I was just laying down.
I was just laying down.
Speaker 2Dude.
Speaker 6This is actually weirding me out.
Speaker 2Dude.
Yeah, I'm kind of freaked out.
Speaker 6I'm freaked out right now.
What is this?
Speaker 3I wasn't even on this mat?
Speaker 2What is it?
Speaker 3Is it moving?
I was laying down here?
Do you think a ghost was laying down next to me?
Speaker 2Did somebody drop a banana over here?
This is weird?
Speaker 3Yeah, that was soaked in like weird.
Speaker 5This is so weird, Like what is this?
It's like you could see those are my thighs.
That is my abdomen.
Speaker 3But what is it?
Speaker 2What is that?
But what is that?
Speaker 3Drop a banana and two kiwis down here?
That's it my lunch.
It's my lunch.
It was banana and Kiwi's.
Speaker 2That was my Oh yeah, that's right.
I had a whole heart salami right.
Speaker 7Where my like belly button stops like a little below that.
And then I started I started like showing my shorts to everybody.
Speaker 3I mean, is it my shorts?
I mean the tennis balls, my fucking I forgot.
Speaker 5Huh those I will say, those are some of my favorite jokes.
Right there, I was.
Speaker 2Look at your penis.
Speaker 3Forcing people to acknowledge the disgusting thing.
Speaker 2Yeh uh, huh wait what is that?
Speaker 3That's obnoxious?
Speaker 5It's obnoxious, obnoxious comedies, my favorite.
Speaker 3Commercials.
If you had to say what it is, what is it?
Speaker 5I would say, it's your cat, my cock.
Speaker 2That's like when that dude is getting searched by the police.
Speaker 3But yeah, then you can't believe it.
Then you can't believe it.
Is that your dad?
Speaker 8What?
Speaker 5No way, that's you Wait a second, that's like a really nice looking cock, though.
Speaker 4That would belio you think that's my dick.
That's incredible.
But no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2Sir, no, there's no way.
That beautiful thing is my car.
Speaker 6Wait that can't you know what?
Speaker 2You might be right that?
Speaker 3Wait, hold on, let me just take a peek real quick.
Speaker 5I'm not just because I was the one laying here and this is where my cock would be.
Speaker 2You might be right.
Holy hang on a minute, I'm seeing now.
Speaker 3It's like a magic eye.
Speaker 2I'm saying, I get it.
That is my cock.
Speaker 3I am so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2I am sorry for that.
Speaker 3I apologize.
Well, that deserus.
Speaker 2That's an interesting You need a measurement.
Speaker 3I'm gonna go get lunch.
Speaker 5I'm hungry for a subway sandwich.
Speaker 7Speaking of six inches, I'm gonna go get that half a sandwich at something and.
Speaker 6Oh boy, half of a foot long.
Speaker 3Let's go, Kyle.
Speaker 7While you were gone, I cried watching the New Ghostbusters, the Paul Red one.
Speaker 2The Paul Red One.
Speaker 3Is that what we're Yeah, that's what I'm that's what.
Well, I don't know.
I'm coming out of a hole.
Did you see it?
No, I'm coming out of a hole.
I just saw the first image.
Speaker 6Where can we watch it?
Can we watch?
Can we rent it?
Speaker 2Yet?
Speaker 3I don't?
Speaker 6It's viable on h.
Speaker 3I think so yeah, No, you can get on iTunes.
Speaker 4I saw okay, I think I saw a little banner for it the other day.
Speaker 3I think that's how I know it's one that was well done.
My kid loved it, that's all I know.
So you cried, you cried.
Speaker 6Yeah, it's uh, that was weird how that feels.
Speaker 3But you know what, I'm actually pissed about it.
Yeah, so of mine.
Speaker 5I feel like I was being manipulally kind of lost my tough friends.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's like they're the fucking as.
Speaker 3Yeah, and you know what, as your tough friend as I'm sure for everyone.
Absolutely, Yeah, it's tough not to be that anymore.
Speaker 6Right, Well, sorry, my emotionally unavailable friend.
Speaker 2Thank you.
Speaker 3I'm proud of you.
I'm proud of you.
Speaker 5My soulless friend guarded, my soulless friend, my robotic friend.
Speaker 3Took a good job.
Yes, I just need to reach out.
Speaker 2I just need my brother, our boy Teddy friend of the show.
We mentioned him on the pot a few times.
Speaker 3Speaking of balls to the chest.
Speaker 2He said that there was a time when he was playing Little League and he was up to bat and he like swung, swung, swung, and he let it go a little too much.
It came back around and he ended up just clocking the catcher like right in the dome and like knocking the kid out.
Speaker 3I think that was a pretty brutal like.
Speaker 4I think that ended very brutal, like it knocked him out, and I think there was even like wasn't there like they were.
I'm like, yeah, I think he got because he was swinging the bat like a crazy person.
Speaker 5Well, that happened to me at a family reunion, and it was my my uncle, did it to you?
That's to me was I wasn't the catcher.
I was standing in the batter's box.
Speaker 2I was eating cake, and he just came up.
Speaker 5Hits the ball and then throws the bat behind him and it clocked me right in the face.
I knocked out my two front teeth, and I luckily they were baby teeth, so I was I was like, you know, I guess I don't need these teeth anymore.
Speaker 3But how long were you without your teeth?
A while?
Speaker 5Like a long while.
Speaker 4My son busted his shit out like recently.
They're not coming back until he's like seventy's three years old.
He's gonna have no.
Speaker 6I think I was like seven or eight, so they were already like on the way in.
Speaker 7Oh, we had a young tooth knockout here too.
It took like two and a half years to come for the big dog to drop.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 5Also, kids are like way doper than adults.
They're always doing crazy shits and knock teeth out of their face.
Speaker 2Also, why don't we lose teeth one more time in our life?
We should lose them around age thirty.
Speaker 4That would be nice if we had like our grandpa teeth coming in.
Speaker 6I'd love another set.
Speaker 2I feel like you.
I feel like humans should lose their teeth one more time.
