Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically crucially.

Important today On This Is Important.

Your beast of a yogurt slinger, it will be hard for over thirty minutes at a time.

A I me and it's Adam divine, sad jerking off.

Suck the fucking spit out of my fucking mouth right now, let's go.

Oh it's still play?

Oh from last week?

What was that's from last week?

Dang, it's got saying.

Power that Sean Keyes is ready to go?

Baby?

Oh, what's good?

What's good with you?

Guys?

Oh?

Man?

What's good?

Care?

We do a check in, like a mental health checkout, a.

Mental health shit.

I feel like you, guys, found me on a good day.

You good.

I feel like you found me on a good day.

How's that even possible?

I O don't know.

Usually I'm pretty down in the dump with your with your life, with your life.

How's that even possible?

Usually pretty down in the dumps.

But I'm feeling pretty good.

I love talking to my boy.

Are you are you down in the dumps?

I know we kind of dog on you, but why why are you done?

Down in the dumps, buddy, I love you.

You could tell us I.

Think I'm I think I'm naturally just a kind of more of a depressed type of person.

What is the word morose?

Is that the word?

Are you?

Yeah?

That feels very Edgar Allan Poe to me.

Yeah, well you definitely always think that things aren't going to work out, and uh, what we're doing is.

Sucks and it is stupid.

Bull Yeah, I'm very much our biggest hater.

Yeah.

Well, I remember the very first show we ever did together, The Instruments of Just Instruction two thousand and two occ.

You and I together.

Not this is that, this is pre there's a sketch show.

I want to go take a ship real quick.

Yeah, it was a sketch show that we did together.

And right as we're about to go out to do the very first sketch and we're back there, we're kind of like memorizing, you know, going over the scene real quick, or you're sort of stealing yourself to get to go on stage and perform in front of the like one hundred people that are in the little black box.

Uh, Blake goes, this sucks, this is stupid, This isn't gonna work, And I'm like what He's like, Yeah, this isn't gonna work.

This is stupid.

We shouldn't do this you' And I'm like, dude, I don't recall that.

Yeah, wow, that you have that memory.

I do, and I remember being like, oh, yeah, the bitch.

Is this the guy I wanted my fucking comedy duo.

I'm like, I'm like, he's in my foxhole for the rest of my life.

Yeah.

Crazy?

And is that what goes on your head for everything always?

Maybe?

Uh?

Yeah.

I wasn't thinking of it in terms of like a career.

Yeah, I more get down in the dumps just about general like humanity and and that kind of stuff, the heaviness of life.

And the cost of ESPN that we were talking about before we got on here, Like.

I miss cable, I miss owning CDs, I missed physical.

Still own that I missed I still have, okay, but I miss.

Going every Tuesday to the warehouse.

I remember when Sam was trying to get you to purge your CD collection and it was impossible.

Yeah, you said, why don't I purge you?

Huh uh, I'm keeping the CDs.

Yeah, I got rid of like aubend but remember you guys kind of convinced me to not get rid of anything, so.

Well, to me, I'm like, yeah, we were joshy with you.

Yeah, you're a collector.

You that's your thing, so you might as well if you have the space to keep it.

I mean, essentially, you.

You basically have to keep working so you can keep buying, getting bigger and bigger houses just so you could be the crap so.

You can be a hoarder.

But it doesn't look like your Yeah, the issue is if you're a hoarder in the way that you are, but then you can't afford a big house, then you're just in a small house with all the shit.

That's when the state comes and takes your children away.

That's when it gets cool though, when you have to like build pathways through rooms and you just open a door and it's like, well, there's one hoarder house.

In our neighborhood, which is like, obviously, it's a very nice neighborhood where I live.

Obviously, obviously obviously, but you know, it's a beach community and there's very nice homes here, and and there's one house that has been that it must have been in the family for you know, eighty years or something, and they have just stuff.

You walk past in the evening and you just can see inside.

Of boogey boards, just.

Stuff stuffed stacked to the ceilings and like like multiple fans.

Yeah they must not have a c or obviously, but I mean obviously, but they just there's just a million fans going on at once.

Yeah, that's kind of wild.

Yeah, it's a very strange.

I walk past.

I make a point to always loop around to.

Just get a quick beat because it's fucking fascinating.

Dude, Sure people can live like that.

It's a disease.

Is this a Texas chainsaw massacre house situation where it's just you kind of see like things moving indoor slamming?

Yeah, just just an eye through through a little slitch.

Yeah, is it scary?

Are you afraid beach has eyes?

Does it give you fear in your in your body?

You know?

It's it's more of like kind of of a little bit of sadness where I'm like, I hope they're okay in there, like did they eat themselves?

And side of the home and now they can't get out because.

There's always there's like pizza, you know how like really really really really really really really really really really big people.

They can't leave their They've eaten themselves so big that they can't exit.

Yeah, and like the fire department has to like remove a wall.

Yeah, right, right.

Right, can't stop eating.

And that's kind of what I'm seeing because there's just like like pizza boxes and like ship in the front yard, like stacked.

Up sure macros to the roof.

Well that yeah, no, I mean because I don't think it's because they're like saving the pizza for later or anything.

It's like they can't throw it away because they think it has some significance in their lives.

Right apparently, And is that what you're You're not a hoarder as much because you do throw away trash, but but you keep every I can always count on you, because I'm so bad at at keeping any.

Sort of memorabilia or sure or anything.

And then I'm like I don't need it, and then later I'm like, you'll you'll bring it out.

I'll see you wear a T shirt or something from that we did a thing that we did back in the day, and.

I'm like, oh, fuck, that's a cool shirt.

I wish I would have kept that.

But Adam, you hold onto memories and Blake lets those go.

And that's why you guys work so well together.

I've got the I've got our day pass from the from the super bowls a super.

Bowl Look, yeah, threw that away immediately.

Yeah, yeah, come on, I keep all our lands.

What is that even for now?

Uh?

What do you mean?

I guess I'm saying, like, where do you make room to have that be a thing in your life?

Well, I just have a tub where I keep all the lanyards from all the experiences we've ever done.

Yeah.

I think I kept keys from our tour.

Cool, like all the plastic keys you can.

And then I don't know, like a few months ago, I was like, or I just chuck all this plastic into the sea, Like what we don't hear?

Okay, you know you didn't even throw it in the in the recycling bin.

You And immediately I have to charter a boat and take it out in the.

Ocean and started to shock them.

Yeah yeah, and slay some things.

Wait, let's get to the memory.

Like the pizza boxes in your mind, Blake, these are it's not about like waste because some people it's like I feel like I could use that box for something else, like in the future, and so they can't let go of it because it could be useful later.

Or you think it's.

Like that's what you see on those those horder shows, which I started to watch it and then I'm like, man, I don't are.

Just cats you wanted to be?

Oh, there's like a lot of dead animals.

Yeah, they're like under the couch.

Yeah, crazy, it's pretty and the smells just have to be anytime.

I'm like, I wish we had smell a vision for those because that would be really Oh you wish for that?

Well, I just sometimes I wonder, but does its experiential?

Guy, what does it smell?

It's just it's just pee, it's just p.

It's pretty simple.

I can tell you.

Yeah, it's dust, it's mildew and p.

Yeah.

I wonder.

I wonder if you know how like those theaters have like the forty X or the forty experience where they like smell a vision, they'll like spray a cent or there.

If there's like a water thing, they'll like squirtch you in the face with water and chill.

Kung Fu Panda Bear, that'd be cool if like it's a horder in a movie and it just all of a sudden, just reeks like dead cats and piss and mildew.

You're like, wow, too real, I have to.

Leave, you know how they have they have the Sphere in Vegas, but now they're starting to have like these theaters that are like kind of mini sphears around town.

And I saw they were playing U like the Matrix, but like sort of like all encompassing, so it's like around they formatted.

That'd be sick cool dude, what is that theater?

It's it's down by the Staples.

Not sorry, the into It don't.

Well, that's for like sports viewing.

That's like a sports viewing thing.

The one Blake's talking about is the three screens and then they like light the walls the color of the movie as well.

I don't know.

I think the one with the sports viewing.

They are also starting to convert to movies as well.

God yeah, I thought I thought it was movies as well, Todd.

Look that up.

It's buy into It, Dome.

It's it's uh, it's in Inglewood and it's up to some good.

So like when you like go in the Matrix, like you know, when it's all the zeros and ones coding or whatever like it.

Like fully, the whole feeder turns into.

That, Yeah, that would be so fun to do acid for the first time together and go to that.

Yes, yes, her, it's called it's called Cosm.

Is that the name?

Fucking bad name?

Yes?

I think it is.

Yeah, which it is co s s cos Cosm.

What is fucking dog shits?

That's a bad name because it's actually very cool awesome.

And then I sent you guys screen X, which is less cool but maybe a.

Better screen X sounds I mean very sexual.

What SCREENX like clean X?

You might need some clean X.

Call some Inglewood's newest entertainment venue is now open after breaking ground, similar to the Sphere in Las Vegas.

Yeah, it looks unreal and yeah, it's showing right here, it's showing the matrix.

You can watch baseball or football basketball games.

It looks I meane, that'd be fun just to go.

And you're like, maybe you don't have money to go get dope seats at a Clipper game or whatever, but you just go there.

You have some beers.

Can you just go and just have have some drinks and some food and and that's it.

Or is there a cover chart.

This is what starting to worry me about society is that sound like things are becoming so expensive, making me sad that we are creating these like experiences, experiences that are like the runoff forever.

And I'm like, like when you go to Disney and they're like, go on a safari or like a submarine thing and you just start cruising by not real fish, well, it's like.

Yes, but also I think everything is moving towards that, like think about the Google.

Glasses or the metaverse.

Yeah, like you can go on vacations now and all this bullshit.

I know, and I think that it's I think it's cool that it like provides a service to people who would never go on safari somewhere, right, But at the same time, I'm just like, at what point are we swallowed by those experiences and then the real thing just doesn't even exist?

And then it's like we don't even need rhinoceroses.

You could just watch a movie about them.

They're there.

It feels real.

You can smell it.

It's scot screenex smell division or whatever.

Now, like who gives them?

I was like, shit, yeah, yeah, it smells exactly how I thought it would been like then we're just ready player one oh Man.

Yeah yeah, And that's for our grandkids to like really worry about.

But for us, it's just kind of dope.

It's cool to be in the matrix.

Yeah, for us, it's just like cool watching full movies from the nineties and they're cooler now.

Yeah.

We're just trying to solve getting people to watch movies again, sit down for two hours and watch things.

We're trying to solve that.

What gets you to the movies?

Naked Guhunt, Dude, come on, let's go home.

Yeah, that was the last That was the last movie I saw in the theaters.

How was it?

It was fun?

It was fun.

Yeah, it was really fun.

How to Do didn't do good?

Right?

No, it did pretty well.

It didn't do it?

Didn't like blow the doors?

Yeah, the lid off or whatever that cool saying is.

The lid off the doors?

The doors off the lid?

Is that a new thing too?

Like I feel like everybody now says like how to do?

Like imember, who gives a fuck?

Did you like it?

That should be the first thing out of everybody like cares how movies does?

Is it just because the industry is so bad that.

We've created, well, the press has created the whole.

The press is created this whole big media.

Yeah, did the enemy look at him back there?

It's important.

Every week is like is this the movie that's gonna save the industry?

And we're putting these like fresh lenses over it, and it's like, is this is this movie gonna save comedy?

And it's like, how about we decide comedy is wanted and then we make comedies and there's one every week and guess what, People will go see them if they're funny and they're good.

Yeah.

The issue I think with that is they used to be able to put a movie out and it just did okay, but then it becomes a huge hit.

With DVD.

Buy them again, and then suddenly they made all their money back and they made more money, and then they can make all these mid budget comedies.

Here's my argument, right, here's what I think people who make movies want now, which is sure things and big bucks and they don't want we don't want just a little bit of money anymore.

That's not okay anymore.

Yeah, which is totally insane because when I say a little bit of money, I still mean millillions and millions.

And million dollars crazy amount.

But like I look at like at A twenty four, they're just they got taste makers there that are like this, that, this, that, and guess what not every movie they make bankrolls them.

But right, they've got somebody there with good taste who makes good movies and they're doing.

Really fucking well.

Are they Marvel?

No?

But they're like, why do we need to be Marvel?

Right?

Well, I know it's it's holly would but it's uh.

I mean, how nice would it be if you could just make your money back on them on a movie, make a little bit of money and everyone got paid, The executives all keep their jobs.

They're they're doing stuff that people.

Like everyone made money, right and then and then the studio made a little bit of money.

On their investment.

They made their ten percent back or whatever.

I mean, It's just, I mean, greed isn't a new thing.

Why is the greed so blatant?

Now?

Why is it so like crippling at this point?

Well, it used to be cool to have a cool job, you know what I mean?

Like this is the Seinfeld quote, y Seinfeld quote.

He talks about this but he's right.

It used to be cool to like to be a photographer and you take cool photos and you get to meet cool people.

But then people are like, yeah, well are you the most famous, highest paid photographer?

Right, Well then you're not shit right, and you're like, oh, okay.

Yeah, I think things have just got back to my thing.

I'm like things have just gotten so expensive that like, if you're a photographer, just like a regular not like fucking the biggest photographer, if you're just a photographer, you can't afford anything.

So you're like, oh, you're a photographer, So like life sucks, it's kind of rough, and you're you're never gonna get gonna go to Disneyland because it cost a zillion dollars to go to Disneyland now, yeah, And so like people are just chasing this like ever narrowing bottleneck where it's like I just want to do the cool stuff I grew up thinking about, even though it's like wildly thirty x expensive than it was when we were kids, and we knew, like like I knew one person's dad with like season tickets to the White Sox.

Yeah that's elite shit, and.

Like they did well, but they weren't like loaded.

But now it's like give season tickets to like a bit like fuck, okay, shit, I mean where the seats where they were good?

They were like right by first base.

But it's just like it's everything's becoming like unattainable.

I know.

I had a conversation with my parents.

We were out on a.

Walk and I'm like, yeah, and my parents are very open minded, and they are like, yeah, it's so much harder for this, you know, this generation.

I'm like yeah, and like, you know what, you guys were able to buy a house.

For our generation, they can't buy a house because, uh, the math just doesn't make sense anymore.

Math the math in math.

And they're like, well, it still was even though it was we bought our first house for twenty five thousand dollars, Yeah, it was still a lot of money to us because we got paid a lot less.

And I'm like, so, how much did you get paid?

And my dad was like, we only made you know, fifty between the two of us, fifty sixty thousand dollars at that point, and I'm like, dad, that is what people make nowadays.

And that same house is eight hundred thousand dollars yeah, it's like it's a completely different thing.

Now.

Yeah, it's a fucking bummer.

That's it.

Guys, we're done.

We're fucking done.

Here a movie.

This is important.

I'm pissed.

Now give me my meta fucking goggles and give me some fucking machine that stuff my wiener And as I watch it and then while I'm good man, yeah that's cool.

Actually actually yeah, like we're still are we we're recording.

Wow, we are we are still live.

Wait a minute this episode.

Sorry about that.

Daddy will be in the ADU surrounded by my drag Back to your CDs.

Like people used to have their own shit, Like now everything is a subscriber base, Like what is that fucking like toothbrush that might maybe even sponsored us back in the day where it's like you the toothbrush dies, and then you need to like subscribe to be sent a new toothbrush, and it's like, huh, what, I can't just have a toothbrush at last six months?

Or what the fuck?

Ever?

Yeah, and then yeah, and then you have to be then they'll then their whole thing was, well, we'll send you a toothbrush every three months, and so you will have a new one and you're like, I want.

To have my crusty ass toothbrush for three years.

The toothbrush that looks like Giles's hair before my wife demands that we throw it away.

And maggots are growing in the cup.

It's making your teeth worse.

It's making your teeth worse, dude, crazy, look at you, Look at those teeth.

My god.

I went to the dentist today and they were like, oh, looks like looks like you've cut back on your coffee intake.

These are looking great.

And I'm like, no, I've picked it back up, baby, I'm back up to three, three four cups a day again.

Hell, and I did not slow down.

I'm fucking ramping back up.

And they're like, oh wow, sir, sit back down, sir.

Well, and then they and then they and then they dialed it back and we're like, oh, yeah, no, actually there is some discolouration back here.

We got to get that.

I'm like, yeah, you fucking liar, you were complimenting my teeth.

I'm never coming back here again, Adam, what are you doing at the dentists?

Bro, don't go there.

Don't trust them, don't trust them.

Suck the fucking spit out of my mouth, right.

Yeah, but I was pretty stoked at my clean bill of health.

You know, that's it's always nice.

You wouldn't no cavities nothing.

They're like, oh, you're this is good looking for you perfect.

I think that's that's one of the best things about twenty twenty five is that, like, dental hygiene is off the chain is off the chain, Like I don't know how much other stuff we need that we're doing health wise, Like I know there's like a new thing every month.

It's like, are you doing this?

You do?

You got but like brushing your teeth, it's great.

We've really figured it out.

Well I did.

I did find out that my dentist, who I really like, he's a great guy.

The office is fun.

The people that clean.

A liar, but yeah, uh oh, I was just punking him a little bit.

The office is clean.

The offices I didn't say clean, the horder the people that clean the teeth.

Where they the hygienus, I guess they're like sweethearts.

Everyone's super nice everywhere.

And then and then as I leave, they're like, well, where do we send the bill?

And I'm like to my insurance and they go we don't take your insurance too, same thing, and I'm like no, And it was five hundred dollars for just a teeth cleaning, and I'm like, how did it?

And so now I'm like, do I have to leave this dentist where I really like, who's really close to my house that I'm like, now I got to go find a new dentist.

My wife just had that pulled on her where they were like, it's honestly just too much of a rigmarole to go through insurance.

Now, dude, I keep having that with, you know, with my many ailments.

This is what I'm talking about.

Where are we going?

Where do we go from here?

How does anybody exist in this world?

Man?

It's gotten much too hard.

And then you've gotten you've got to start cleaning your kid's teeth.

It's like fucking holy shit, dude, no they fall out.

Oh my god.

I was with the boys by myself last weekend while Emma was out running this thing called Hood to Coast, right you heard of that.

It's like a two hundred mile relay or something.

I'm by myself with the boy so many races.

It's wild cool name boys Knock Big Boy knocks little boy's teeth out.

What baby teeth.

Like fighting wise or accidental.

They were playing some game with like rings in the pool had old rings or brass rings.

I give my sons.

I give my son's brass rings, and I say, you always reach for this, uh no, like the pool rings, right, and he just like whipped it his face teeth out, and.

I'm like, kids, I'm like, uh yeah, no, it's going good.

Here.

A couple of teeth got knocked out, Like, uh, it's just what's going on.

It's those calls of being like on your own, like I'm dadding this weekend.

It's just me boys that we're taking care of it.

Don't worry about anything, honey, immediately teeth.

And she's made like the list of all the things you need to do, and I gotta be like, lost a tooth and she's like, as long as it's the baby tooth, don't worry about it.

And I'm like, I love you.

That's actually great, And then I instantly called back and call her back.

I didn't mean that.

I'm so sorry.

I did mean that for you.

I've just been hanging out with the kids all day and saying I love you, but.

My son did a weird He woke up the other morning and we go to get him out of the crib.

Chloe was getting him and she calls me and she's like, Adam, come here.

I come in and there's blood everywhere and there's blood all over his face and he's just smiling.

He's just like okay and that's cool.

And we're like, uh, Chloe's nose is gone.

A bird flew through the window.

He ate a bird?

No, And we're like looking around, like, did he scratch himself?

Like what is going on?

No scratches.

This kid bit his tongue so hard that he just soaked his and we were like, we didn't wake up he was you know, we have a monitor, like if he was screaming, we would have heard it.

Yeah, but you just turn it off at night.

Yeah, we go and we look.

Uhs.

We go back to look to see if he did scream.

He did.

You could tell when he bit his tongue.

Oh, you can rewind on that.

Yeah.

Oh, and it'll be.

Like the moment of like that he was really moving around.

Yeah, you could tell the moment that he bit it.

He was laying on his back and he like moves and he bit it and he goes silent, silent scream.

Like he goes, oh my god, he's a dream and it holds it there for like a minute and a half, was like, oh my god.

And then turns around and then just buries his face into the into the mats or whatever the crib and then just smeared blood all over.

It looked like a.

Scene, dude, and didn't make a peep.

Didn't make a peep.

And then you look, We're like, hey, buddy, stick out your tongue.

We're all like, stick your tongue out.

It's like purple, huge chunk, all raised like like a vicious by now like, fuck, that's brutal.

Yeah, it was.

It was wild, And I was like, did you teach him the lessons?

Thank God I wasn't.

Home alone with him when he did this, because just so it would have been my fault, cry right, it would have been like.

Why did you allow him to buy this tongue off?

You would have swallowed his tongue, driven to the er, and then been like he's not in the car.

Fuck, oh shit, I knew I forgot something.

I knew I forgot.

Damn, he's just on the hood.

He's on the hood.

He's on the hood.

It's brutal, dude, goddamn oh man.

Remember the jackass where they put the baby seat on the roof.

I remember thinking that was like the funniest thing in the world, and then you have kids and you go, that's that's not as funny as you think it is.

It's not funny.

That jackass ain't hitting like it used to.

Maybe too real.

Because you just you It's not like I never would be like, oh, I have kids, so like I now know, like if my kid was on the roof, that wouldn't be funny.

But now I have kids.

If I saw someone else's kid on the roof, I turned into hero mode and go, I've run after that because I know what they are dealing with.

You put your children's life in trying to save that child.

Yeah, yeah, you throw the e brake on, I skitch.

I grabbed the back of the car, and I skitch on my son.

Huh huh as a skateboard take the wheel skin.

Off in road rash, road rash.

What also was so brutal about that prank is like I think Johnny Knoxville would like, then you jump out of the car, just grab it and take it back in and then drive off like no explanation.

So that person was just left like what the fuck just happened?

Yeah, very confused.

Also, now I'm a father, Uh, there's never a point that my child in the car seat.

It's too heavy.

M Like those things combined.

I'm like, this is a seventy pound to put him to put him all the way on top of the car.

Oh that's hard for you.

That very hard, very very hard.

There's not one moment that I would want to that I would lift him all the way up and put him on top of the car.

Yeah that's generally, yeah, don't do that.

But then what do you just put him on the car?

Herb just kind of kick it absolutely.

Honestly, Adam, Yeah, ten of those a day, we'll get your chance.

That's how I dial it in.

Yeah, that's now, that's dialing it in.

They're lifting your kids as a workout is gangster?

I mean that's I I have hurt myself so many times lifting kids up.

Of course, just throwing back out.

Before you had children, what what used to lift kids all the time?

It's great, look at this, Oh god damn it, come over here, No, just like learn leaning into a crib and like lifting them up or like oh sure, you know whatever the situation is, it's I mean.

Knock on wood.

Nobody's none of us have like thrown like thrown our back out yet, right of course.

I have, yeah all the time.

What do you mean you you've never thrown your back out where.

You're like have to like lay on the couch for a whole last day.

Yeah, yeah, of course I have.

Oh I don't even know that and that yet.

Thank God.

I think it's because I'm bionic.

Well, you had the back surgery they they injected you to see them into that.

Yeah, I have.

I have a little inf you.

Yeah, feels good.

Baby got back.

Yeah, mine was not backward lated.

I just was getting the like those backspasms when we were on tour and my back just like.

Fully went out and I had to lay.

I forget where we were, but I just laid on the floor of the nice That's why I liked staying in nice hotel rooms, because I'm like, at least if I can lay on the floor here, I'm not going to find a use condom condom wrapper.

It's a fancy man's joices.

I guess it was like I was like the specific moment because I know it's like pretty common for like dads to go down to like pick up even moms probably you could go to pick up your kid, and then it's just like like that's it.

You're not moving the rest of the day.

You've had You've had a total shut down.

Yeah, but that's why you just gotta load your back and look like a total weirdo and left with your.

Legs you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, just.

Like fucking what do they call it?

Vanilla?

Gorilla?

God damn?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I gotcha forty that duck, dad duck.

And you go to the doctor.

They don't even let you use your shirt.

God, this is.

A pretty educational freaking pod.

We get pretty charge shah.

This is yeah, we're more charged than I thought we were gonna be.

This pun I mean, I'm pissed now.

There's just there's just a lot of shit.

I mean, this all got kicked off when Isaac was talking about how you got to pay extra for ESPN now, and I'm like, yeah, I feel like everything, like how did we get hoodwinked into this?

Direct TV was off the CHANKI it was fucking awesome.

It was fucking great.

I remember when it was a big deal to like when we when Workholics first popped off, when we first got Workholics.

I remember upgrading to the direct TV package where I got everything, including all the movie channels, and I'm like, fucking I got it all.

By the way, I still pay for it.

I don't even know how to watch my direct TV anymore.

Cool And when I go back to like, the boxes are just all kicked up when I in my house in Hollywood.

Yeah, uh, it just none of it works.

So I'm assuming it's so great.

Yeah, I wouldn't even know how.

So I'm going to forever.

But it's only four hundred dollars a month.

Yeah, I remember it being Yeah, it's it's very expensive.

But uh, why do we like direct TV more than I understand?

Now?

You have to buy it's this and this and this and this and this and this, and it ends up being the same as the direct TV with all the things.

But isn't it nice to be able to just click I want to watch this right now?

You don't like that we had that?

Like you could still do like on demand.

That's true.

You could browse on demand everything.

Everything that was like on HBO or whatever.

You could go to HBO on demand and click on it if you wanted to.

Is that real?

Man?

I don't remember, but that was.

That was after a certain amount of time, like the show had already been.

There, but it exists.

It existed.

What I will say is I like clicking channels.

I like channel surfing.

I like I like when I go to a hotel and I turned the TV on and it's the middle of X movie.

We all know the movies that if it's on, you're finishing the movie or if you've never Dude, I watched a bunch of episodes of Colombo this past weekend in Wisconsin.

Yep, what the hellucky donkey, Okay, doing some research and they're good.

I remember those being like a snoozer.

No Columbo rocks, dude, here's the fucking man.

I mean, yeah, don't don't sleep.

You won't sleep on Columbo.

But anyway, i'd never seen it before and I was like, oh, this is Colombo.

I'm gonna watch it up.

Yeah I missed that watching like random shit that you normally wouldn't watch, but you're just like, I guess I'm watching ncis New Orleans.

Yeah, and you could.

And it's like not a thing, not a thing that I would watch, but you just watch part of it.

And you could discover it.

You could discover it.

You could get hooked.

By it, as opposed to just browsing things being like am I gonna click on this?

And it's too easy not to.

I'm yeah, that's.

The danger of It's the danger of what is it when you're targeted, like what is it called?

Like your algorithm?

Algorithm?

It's the danger of it.

Nobody discovers.

It's really hard to discover anything new or organically or think outside of your box or shell because everything is catered to you.

Right, Did I tell you guys about the algorithm and how it got me on YouTube?

I'm never on YouTube?

Did I Did I tell this to.

Your other podcast?

More important?

Yeah, I'm never on YouTube.

I got on YouTube TV or whatever, and I'm just like, okay, maybe I thumbed through.

And then it was like, you know some stand ups that I know, you know, the Shane Gillis, the you know Tom Sigura, And I'm like, yeah, okay, I know these guys.

It would make sense that that that's the algorithm thinks that I would like this stuff.

Yeah, the manosphere.

You're in the manosphere.

Yeah, yeah, I'm in a little bit of the manosphere.

And then and then a commercial popped up and it was a muppet and it was just like a sad muppet and it was talking about how like he's a male loneliness and depression and how he watches too much online pornography.

It was this and it was this muppet jerking off alone and then crying, and it was about this muppet.

It's not a muppet, it's a puppet.

Your muppets, Jim Henry.

It was a puppet, but they made it look like a muppet, and he was.

Depressed, crying because it jerks off too.

Because it jerks off too much.

And that's I was getting targeted that.

I'm like, what the fuck.

Do you start stroking your screen like I feel that show?

What the hell?

Yeah?

I don't know, and I'm never on YouTube, and it's like out the gate, this is what it thought that I needed to see.

And I'm like, huh, well, what time was it that you were watching this?

It was kind of late because I feel like the commercials I get late.

By the way, I've stopped paying.

I pay.

I now pay for YouTube to avoid commercials.

That's crazy because they just used to drive me fucking absolutely crazy.

They're terrible.

But the ones late night would be like this where you're just like, You're like, my life's not that bad.

I just don't have to get up in the morning.

What the fuck you?

This is me?

I'm not this guy.

They got some weird ones now that are like blatantly AI.

It's like the person talking and it's like.

You're dude.

I saw Oprah.

Yeah, you're beast of a yogurt slinger.

Will be hard for over thirty minutes at a time.

It's fucking madness.

You're speaking my language now.

I saw one where Oprah was like, if you drink this every morning, I'm not kidding, you will be a new person.

And it was just not Oprah, but it was like her from a talk show talking this way, and then it was you.

It changed her mouth and it.

Yeah, but they were selling something, yes, and.

It was actually Oprah must have green lighted it.

No, you had to have given permission.

That has to be legal.

It's just you do it until somebody gives you a cease and desist and you go, who doesn't matter.

We already got what we wanted.

We'll do it now with Blake Anderson.

That doesn't work.

That doesn't work, like Oprah, Well that was the muppet.

Yeah.

It's like it's like when you used to make your when you had your T shirt company, and you would essentially steal steal characters of the Simpsons and ship right, and then you they would send a cease and desist and you'd go, Okay, well we're done.

We already sold those T shirts.

Doesn't matter if you got the cash.

Yeah, yeah, already is wild.

Welcome to YouTube.

Yeah, you're right, that's exactly what they're going to do.

So if so, whoever made that muppet jerking off?

Sorry puppet like sorry, didn't mean to offend you, the unhoused puppet uh jerking off uh and set and they're being sad about it.

Hey make it me AI me And it's Adam Divine, sad.

Jerking fake Adam always finds the angle and I respect that.

That's fucking cool, dude.

I don't need to make a dime.

I just want to accidentally be watching YouTube and and stumble across uh.

Just fucking Adam divine jerking off.

How mind bending would that experience?

And pretty pretty sad about the whole thing.

Pretty sad about the whole thing, which, by the way, dude, when I jerk off, now it's the most pleasurable.

It's better now that I have a wife and a kid, because you when you can find that sliver of alone time, when you know that it's just going to be you and your computer screen, it's gonna be me just just going for it, and you got your thirty minutes of alone time.

It's a real treat.

It's a real tree.

Yeah, it's a it's a true happens so infrequently that when it happens.

Does it ever through the roof?

Yeah?

Even the like find this livery But like when if you got the house to yourself, like say, like there's some trip that you're not a part of on a weekend and you can really just like pretty much do.

A mirror your screen on like the main TV.

You say this is my house out loud a lot, Yeah, this is my house.

This is my house.

When you can project images on the family television.

Is that is that what you do?

Screen?

That's an overload?

Yeah, that's that's a lot.

Well, I feel like screen my house, my house, people can like kind of see in and see the television.

I don't know that the Horder the Horder house.

Dude, that's the boss.

That's a boss.

Move let him know.

You're like, yeah, it's my house, it's my house.

FAM's away, daddy's home alone.

And then when you turn it off, uh, just blue starts to play immediately, and then you get sad and uh and then that's when you cry.

And that's the commercial.

That's the AI commercial.

I guess it's starting Blake now.

I guess it's gonna start Blake.

Hey, I take it back, don't make me the star of this a E commercial.

It's Blake Anderson.

I mean, it's got the hair.

That's what people want.

Yeah, here's what here's what I saw the other commercial, Torno commercial for an app called like the Drop or something like that, where you can upload a picture of somebody.

You can upload a picture of somebody in a bikini or a shirt, and then it does an AI thing of them flopping.

Their titties out.

This is the way what is going down.

I think that's I'm pretty sure that's super illegal.

I know, but this is if you own the picture or something.

I don't know.

I don't know how it works, but I was just like, where do we go from here?

It flops.

We gotta make one of you.

We gotta make one of you.

So essentially, essentially, what's gonna happen?

Is I mean imagine that was happy if you're in high school?

What's going on in the world?

High school?

Yes, No, this is a this is a true story that did happen.

Oh really people.

Yeah, people were at some high school.

They were like make it.

So they were.

Aiing sex videos of fellow classmates and it was like, yeah, people got in trouble.

You can't do that.

Oh I'm assuming yeah, is that what you were going to say?

Yes?

I was saying, like, you know, some high school is gonna some fucking punk kid in a high school is going.

To do that.

High school kid probably invented it.

Yeah, these kids are genius.

Technological genus.

These horny kids are genius.

Eleven year old boy, you know, porno is the mother of invention, guys.

I like that.

It's always porno based.

Like these pushing pushing technology forward, It's always porno based.

Because men are so goddamn horny that they we could cure cancer.

We could do all these fucking amazing things if we put our minds to that.

Instead, It's like if cancer had yeah, if cancer had great titties, Yeah, they would be solved by now.

We would be come on, now, yeah.

Here's my question, and there's no wrong answers, absolutely not, they're never Do you think we'd be better off if porno.

By law could only be run by women?

Oh, wouldn't be as fun?

Probably you need another four inches.

No, because you know they do have those sites that are like women owned, and like women to.

Say women owned?

Go ahead, And why did you play air quotes around?

By the way, I'm not even saying I want this, I'm just saying.

I'm saying, like, if it was if they were at the helm, would we be better off as a society.

I like it took us about forty minutes for us to get true.

Just porno, it's at the crux of everything, of everything of society.

No, that already exists, and it isn't better.

It's just like basically shot with a little softer lighting.

That's not what I'm asking.

If they were by law in charge of all of it, if there would be.

Like less deviancy or less porn or more honestly.

And I know this, maybe this is a beta thing, but I would love to have women at the helm of most things in society, just to see what would happen, because it has been such a man of sphere.

You know what I say, I said, good luck, I said good luck.

It would be nice to see what the inverse of society would be if it was more a female focused.

I bet you know well, because the people that on the period go haywire.

Well, I think the people that vie for power, yes, are psychopaths, men or women.

So and especially women.

Who's in charge of porno?

You have to be a porno person who loves porno.

And it's not all women are in charge of this just gonna be like a woman who runs the porn of No, she's gonna be an absolute psychopath and she's gonna be like.

No, no, no, no no, no no no no.

What I'm not there's like a government appointed like porno leader.

I'm saying that would be awesome.

I'm saying all these companies, all these companies, at the head of these companies is a woman.

That's That's what I'm saying.

There's gonna be instead of a man, there's gonna be a woman, and she's.

Going to be an absolute psychopath.

So you think it's and she's worse or better or some.

I think, let me finish, let me finish.

I think she's going to be.

I think she's going to be an absolute psychopath and make it so much crazier than even the men have done, because she's gonna overcompensate being like, well, they think I'm not.

Gonna do the crazy ship because I'm a woman, I'm gonna do.

Oh god, you think it's the it's the girl who grew up with five brothers.

Yeah, okay, and she's.

Like, I can play just as dirty as the boys.

And then the guys are gonna be like, oh, we don't want it to be that.

That's actually foul.

We don't want that that's actually terrifying.

But so, but do you see what that just for the guys, they're like, whoa, there's a line across like what are you doing?

Now?

They're now they're But I guess I guess place.

To your hypothetical.

I wonder if there is a because there are women who run these companies, and I wonder if there is a woman that, like, you know, Lexington still be like, oh Brenda is a fucking psycho.

No, I won't even I won't even work there anymore.

I'm sure, I'm sure that's the case.

I'm sure that whoever, whoever the new guy is, Johnny, Johnny sins Johnny.

He's such a legend.

Man.

Manuel Ferrara legend, not him, Yeah him.

I love naming dude porno bros.

Manuel Ferrara.

Remember when we ran into he's gonna be on the cruise, when we ran into him shooting a Workaholics episode when we were at that like racquetball court, ah and we and I just like went into like look, we were shooting there and I went in to look and he's sitting there and he goes, he's he's like Spanish or something.

He's like, oh, man, I love I love your show.

And I'm like, oh, thanks, and I'm like, wait are you And he goes.

They don't know, Todd, can we get a picture of this guy that's Colombo?

They goes, they don't know.

Yeah, yeah, look at Oh he's French.

He's French.

Yeah, this guy, I don't look at you guys.

He's been he's retired for a while though, right, Oh, it says to present.

I don't know, it says to press with his career.

But I remember being like, how do I know you?

And he's like and then I'm like, oh wait, and he's like, they don't know.

No, he was born in France, isn't that what you just said?

Or no, born in France.

I just raised.

I said Spain, but I knew he had some kind of an accent.

Well, dude, he's got a Spanish mother.

Okay, hey, oh and that, well, where did he get his hog from?

I think French people have big dicks, right, I think so, Todd.

We looked that up.

Not bigger than American's.

Hell, you know, Columbo's got a big day.

Listen to how porn his background is.

His father was an electrician and his mother was a cleaning lady.

Like, that's a porno waiting to happen somebody, the plot of like every porno from the second Well.

My dad was a railroad conducture and my mom was a cleaning lady.

That's a porno waiting to have porn.

Right, your dad ran trainin Uh, cleaning ladies can get it.

Man, Blake, Blake, what did your parents do?

My mom was a dental hygienist and my dad worked for the gap.

Mm hm, that's a poorn no waiting to shoot the gap rights?

What you got a small business owner and big in the porno industry.

Now real estate agents.

Oh, that's a poorno waiting to happen.

I think we've covered this before where it's like poor real estate agents.

Right now, there's so many pornos about a guy being like, all by this house if you blow me, and then they're like first and they do it.

Every realtor must just be like, damn it, God, damn it.

Every time I have an open house, I need a fucking mace on my keychain from a this is important cruise.

Yeah.

Absolutely, I have heard that.

I have heard that it is very scary because.

There's you're in a bedroom and you are now like in the porno.

Yeah absolutely, Yeah I didn't.

I guess I never thought about how scary that probably is for women realistic agents alone in a bedroom.

Yeah, that's fucking terrified.

Yeah.

Yeah, my mom has a clock.

Yeah that's fucking cool.

Shoot him up, shoot him up.

Yeah, she's murdered people.

Any take backs, any apologies, any epic slams.

I mean, I'm really proud of us.

I think we were kind of smart on this pod, so we were fired up.

I think we're just fired up.

I don't know if smart, right.

I think we came up with a lot of really great solutions to the not money specifics.

Yeah, you know, we danced around some subjects, a lot of generalities.

This was really Eddie.

Man.

This is a really if you thought we were smart, slide in Blake's DMS and tell them.

And also to yourself a favorite in Google image search Colombo because this guy looks like a fucking led jun give So.

So I'm watching this episode and there's a woman on it who's like crushing, and I'm like, who's this lady?

Guess what?

It was his real life wife who was in the episode season ten.

So you know, he was like, have my wife been the episode?

But she crushes?

She crushes.

How many seasons of Colombo were there?

There were ten?

This was the final ten seasons.

Good first man, and he got the wife in on the last season.

What a gangster.

Yeah.

Shout out to Colombo alive.

I hope we didn't just kill him.

He's dead now, dude, do part of you guys wish we would have we would have taken Workaholics to uh season ten, because ten.

Is such a solid number.

We got we kissed it, we got seven.

We could have Remember, they wanted to pick us up for three more seasons, Kyle Kyle kebash.

Instead, they wanted to implode.

They they were like, we don't like paying and then they imploded as an entire network that no one knows anymore unless you're watching.

Yeah, I guess, I guess it's it's nice that we dipped.

Now that Comedy Central truly isn't even a network.

They're like, they're like work They're like, I mean, I don't even want to diss Panda Express like this, but like Pan Express has orange flavored chicken.

It's amazing.

It carries the entire restaurant they have South Park.

But for a while they had a bunch of really good dishes that people were eating, and now they're just back to having an orange flavored chicken, which again is amazing.

Delicious, but god, and it keeps the lights on.

But like, what are we doing?

What are we doing?

Yeah, but you don't even go to Comedy Central to watch that anymore.

It's just it's just streaming to watch South Park.

Oh yeah, I mean it's so P plus.

But now there's new ownership at P plus.

We're still fighting the good fight, trying to get to Workaholics movie going.

You know?

Yeah?

Is this a shout out to the sky Dance guy David Ellison, Dave May I call you.

Keep good guys.

Turn your headphones off, guys, Dave a right turned off?

What are we doing here?

Are we?

Are we going to take this thing to the next level?

Are we making the Workahowks movie?

Are we saving this whole damn industry?

Could the work Ahowks movie save Hollywood?

Guys?

Yep?

Come on, come on back.

We're good, Okay, clicking it went well, I think it went good.

Big shout out to Dave Dave Ellison.

Come on the pod, tell us what you're doing.

Come on, we.

Would look, we'd love to have you.

Yeah, and uh, you know, big shout outs to everyone that is buying tickets to this is important.

This cruise is important dot com and you could buy your tickets to the cruise, which we're all very very excited.

We're gonna have the are the Kelsey is gonna be there is that what you just alluded to.

Maybe maybe they will be shy.

There's a possibility.

I don't know when the wedding date is, but maybe it's maybe they do it on the cruise.

Maybe maybe take T Swift and kel Starget on T Swift on the bow.

Yeah, see that for them, I see that for them.

Remember when she was in the Bitch better have my honey bear coat barcoat?

That was a classic photo of T Swift.

Obviously a huge, huge fan, huge Any do you guys have any takebacks, any apologies?

I don't know if my dad did work at the Gap, it might have been crazy shirts, but I'll run it back.

It was, but I can't.

I got a not a take back, but a whoopsies.

I like went into my Instagram d ms and found hundreds of messages from like three hundred weeks ago or something like that.

And I don't even know where they came from or how I didn't see them because I go in there every once a while and check them out.

These were like dozens and dozens of weeks old, and it was tens of twenties of dozens or whatever.

But bud Buzz Budweiser's like Hey, we'd love to do something together.

Like Christ not damn a bud.

So if it's if it's nice people I never got back to I never do that anyway.

If it's the realist deal, they will go through your agents, you know what I mean.

Yeah, but but no.

I got some free Oscar Meyer hot dogs the other day and they went through me, So that feels pretty.

They went they went right through you.

You are right, okay, yes, thank you.

I'll take them.

And that's another episode this important.

Thanks for giving me some points there at the end.

I felt really good about that.

Was really good, Adam, really.

Thank you think you think you think you think you think you are so proud mhm